SmackDown from JHawk's Beak

[JHawk 0]

SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (6/17/2004)

 

I could have simply wrote a review saying "This show sucked" and it would have done the trick, but for those of you who missed the show, here you go.

[Guest Anglesault]

One question: Wouldn't elimination rules give Cena the advantage since he has to be pinned to lose the title? Instead of Cena losing the title if, say, Booker T pins RVD, now Booker can pin Dupree and RVD but get pinned by Cena, and Cena keeps the title.

 

I was wondering the same thing when watching Unforgiven 01, with JR and Heyman screaming about what a disadvantage the Dudleyz had.

[SuperJerk 0]

"Overall, this show sucked with a side order of suck. "

 

"Bradshaw does make a good point about the First Amendment, because he's not going to like me saying this about him. But Bradshaw needs to learn that we don't like him because we think he sucks."

 

"I thought Judgment Day made Judgment Day look like a cartoon."

 

"One or two no-shows: automatic termination. Causing an international incident and nearly causing a riot: A slap on the wrist and the comment of 'Don't do that no more.'"

 

 

Funny cuz its true.

[AndrewTS 0]

Considering taking my suggestion, JHawk?

 

Anyway, was playing video games instead, so let's see what I, uh, missed.

 

"You know let's review, Test was punished and pulled out of a pay per view match a number of months back because he got snowed in and couldn't make it to Raw. John Bradshaw Layfield ignites and International Incident and gets a title shot at the Great American Bash? What the hell is wrong with this picture? "

 

I guess Test isn't a Vince favorite, even if Linda and Shane like him.

 

"Obviously I'm not surprised at the result, although I would have expected the champions to put forth some sort of effort before dropping the match. This basically became a glorified squash before it was all over, and I'd like to think that most fans would rather have competitive title matches, particularly since they'd been building up the Rico-Haas team fairly well considering the contrasting styles and gimmicks. Now it's back to the 'old reliable' with the Dudleys holding the straps, and the live crowd seemed totally apathetic to the entire thing."

 

I guess no bukkake for Miss Jackie.

 

Bah. Would it be stale to say the Dudleys are really really stale?

 

"OK, this idea is completely gay. Totally gay. Mind-numbingly gay. I mean, this is Rico saying "My character isn't even that gay" gay. This is stupid. "Watch the PPV because somebody might suffocate to death!" Or watch a rerun of the Simpsons and see something that at least has a chance to be entertaining. The choice is yours."

 

Or get the Season 4 Simpsons DVDs and be pretty damn sure about it.

 

Well, at least we can't say they're not building up anything for the PPV.

 

"Why are we hyping the Raw Diva Search when the application deadline is over and it has nothing to do with this show?"

 

You were watching the B-show?

 

"Look at the casket. You know you wanna see someone die. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!"

 

Let's start with Brother Love.

 

"Wow. I am so unimpressed with Kenzo Suzuki that I am actually giving myself a headache wondering why they hyped this guy so hard for over a month. Out of all the Japanese wrestlers they could have brought in and pushed, and they picked this guy? "

 

He's...kinda big for a Japanese guy. That's why. Yup.

 

"Well, most of you had already heard that Chavo Classic was leaving the company, so very few of you should have been surprised. Maybe now we can actually build up the cruiserweight division into something that the average fan might actually give a rat's ass about."

 

That would require that they push some other Cruiserweights...NOT named Billy Kidman. So, not bloody likely.

 

"Mordecai tells us the locker room is full of sinners who aren't worthy of mercy, and they'll all feel his wrath. And one of them is the worst sinner of them all: Eddy Guerrero."

 

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwn...

 

I've seen e-fed characters that used variations of this same gimmick, and they were all better.

[Guest The Ultimate Fantasy]

No offense, JHawk but I think you went overboard with your hatred of smackdown. I watched and it was not bad, nor was it any good. Mostly it was boring. Your complaints about "squashing more talented wrestlers" was kinda overboard. Spike and Funaki are jobbers and have been for a long time, while Luther and Kenzo are (while not talented) prospects. Also you have to remember that to the WWE the crusierweights are the male equlivant to the women's division and this will most likely not change.

Edited June 18, 2004 by Goodear

[Guest Goodear]

John Bradshaw Layfield ignites and International Incident and gets a title shot at the Great American Bash? What the hell is wrong with this picture?

 

International incident... phhhf. A couple of people got upset about a cheap heel move and blew it entirely out of proportion. This is more akin to blaming Al Snow because his action figure got pulled out of Wal-Mart a few years back.

 

Obviously I'm not surprised at the result, although I would have expected the champions to put forth some sort of effort before dropping the match. This basically became a glorified squash before it was all over

 

Think maybe it had something to do with Rico screwing up his knee? Possibly? Maybe? That took all the momentum away from the hot tag and cut out all the 'wacky Rico' stuff that we probably would have seen otherwise.

 

He's...kinda big for a Japanese guy. That's why. Yup.

 

He didn't look that big next to freaking Spike Dudley. Whats the guy listed at 240 pounds? Anyway, he sucks the meat missile. Luther worked out a little better but like the guy who posted later, I'm not mourning Spike and Funaki because... well they suck. Small =/= Good.

[Guest whitemilesdavis]

I'm not convinced that Kenzo sucks just yet. I've heard that he sucked in Japan, but so far I just haven't seen enough. Plus his entrance rules.

[King Cucaracha 0]

I'm not convinced that Kenzo sucks just yet. I've heard that he sucked in Japan, but so far I just haven't seen enough. Plus his entrance rules.

Well, he also sucked in TNA and I think he may have had a bad match in MLW once...not sure on that one. Plus he looked horrible against Scotty last week.

[Guest whitemilesdavis]

This was my first time seeing him. And that entrance is great.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

This was my first time seeing him. And that entrance is great.

....So a recycled entrance WWE has used for every King of the WWF is great? (puzzled)

[JHawk 0]

Considering taking my suggestion, JHawk?

 

Yup.

 

No offense, JHawk but I think you went overboard with your hatred of smackdown. I watched and it was not bad, nor was it any good. Mostly it was boring. Your complaints about "squashing more talented wrestlers" was kinda overboard. Spike and Funaki are jobbers and have been for a long time, while Luther and Kenzo are (while not talented) prospects. Also you have to remember that to the WWE the crusierweights are the male equlivant to the women's division and this will most likely not change. 

 

Funaki could still be a viable cruiserweight if they actually have a shit about the division, plus the crowds always pop for him, which should be a benefit. I could probably agree with you on Spike since bumping's his strong suit, but apparently Kenzo Suzuki doesn't even have that kind of move in his offense. But at any rate, I'm going to hate a boring show more often than not, especially when the show is as promo heavy as last night's show was. Hell, even Paul Heyman's promo was boring as hell, and I'm a huge fan of Heyman on the mic. If I saw at least some effort to make the in-ring product worthwhile, I'd at least take a "wait and see" approach to it.

 

Think maybe it had something to do with Rico screwing up his knee? Possibly? Maybe? That took all the momentum away from the hot tag and cut out all the 'wacky Rico' stuff that we probably would have seen otherwise.

 

Granted, but they could have at least had Haas come in to try to stop the double team and do something before going into the finish.

[AndrewTS 0]

"No offense, JHawk but I think you went overboard with your hatred of smackdown. I watched and it was not bad, nor was it any good. Mostly it was boring."

 

THAT'S WHY IT SUCKS SO MUCH!!

 

If we had Doink, Bastion Booger and fat guys squashing snakes, it would still suck but at least it wouldn't be boring.

 

Being boring is far, far, far worse than simply sucking.

 

Funaki could still be a viable cruiserweight if they actually have a shit about the division, plus the crowds always pop for him, which should be a benefit.

 

I'm not sure about that. I know Spike sucks, but Funaki's always been a jobber, so I can't say if he's actually any good or not. Goodear seems to think he sucks, but I don't know if he's just assuming or he's familiar with his Japanese work.

 

Anyone seen Funaki put on a good match? I know he can bump like a mutha and great at overselling hoss offense, but offensively, I haven't seen anything much from him.

[Guest The Ultimate Fantasy]

Good point and I like the fact that you now rotate from Smackdown to Raw, that helps lower the angry bitterness. Although is Smackdown worse than Raw was after the brand split? I think not.

[Guest The Ultimate Fantasy]

The above post was in realtions to JHawks reply. Honestly there are good parts on Smackdown. No I will not state examples because they are based on opinion and everyone has a different one.

[AndrewTS 0]

Good point and I like the fact that you now rotate from Smackdown to Raw, that helps lower the angry bitterness. Although is Smackdown worse than Raw was after the brand split? I think not.

Well, we had Bradshaw in the main event still, (technically) but at least Austin was still wrestling.