My computer is catatonic.

[Guest Fire and Knives]

I don't expect anyone to tell me exactly how to fix this, but if I could get an idea what the goddamn problem is, I would at least know who to start yelling at.

 

When I boot up my computer, there's a short load screen with the Dell logo before it actually loads Windows. About an hour ago, I rebooted...and after the load screen, the monitor goes totally black for two or three seconds, then goes back to the load screen. It's become some kind of maddening screensaver.

 

There's only two menus I can access from this very brief load screen, and every option on both menus gets an error or failure message of some kind. The ancient "turn it off, then turn it on again" technique has also failed me many times.

 

To summarize: what the fuck?

 

K.

[Secret Agent]

If you posted the error message that might give more of an indication as to where the issue lies. As for what your describing, and without actually digging into it, I'd guess at a virus or a corrupt registry.

[Guest Olympic Slam]

I had a similiar problem about a year and a half ago where it would take roughly 35 minutes for my computer (a Gateway) to boot up. During this insane boot sequence, the screen would often go black and there'd be nothing but the mouse pointer on screen. When it finally booted up, just about everything moved at a snail's pace and crashed; similiar to your problem(?).

 

Secret Agent might be right in that it could be something corrupting the registry. My problem was that my sister foolishly installed a very old scanner with very old software. My XP system didn't know what to do with these ancient drivers. I don't remember how I went about fixing it (the guys at Best Buy are great for answering questions from dopes like me) but I think that might be your problem.

[Guest Fire and Knives]

The error message reads:

 

^FAILED

 

Very helpful, isn't it?

 

K.

[Secret Agent]

I'd suggest a destructive restore of windows. It's usualy the quickest way to resolve these types of issues.

[frisco]

before doing anything drastic it sounds like your power supply is insufficient. basically you need more power and windows is unable to properly load. Have you upgraded anything that might be putting a drain on your power?