SWF GROUND ZERO~!

[the.weej 0]

Card:

 

MAIN EVENT

TRIPLE THREAT, WORLD TITLE BOUT, TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS

Janus© vs "The Superior One" Tom Flesher© vs Toxxic

It's been a tultimous reign for the Hell Machine, but he remains imposing and fear-inspiring as always. It's been a hell of a ride for Toxxic, poised to become the fastest SWF world champion since 2000. And for Tom Flesher, well, he's got a belt -- just not the one he wanted. After six weeks of agonizing waiting, Tom Flesher and Toxxic are set to face Janus in one of the biggest triple threats in SWF history, with the biggest title on the line. This should be fun.

Rules: The loser is the first man to be pinned or submit TWICE. Falls are totally independant of whoever gets them; if Tom pins Toxxic, and then Janus pins Toxxic, Janus retains his title, and vice-versa for any number of permutations. DQ and countout ARE in effect, although the title cannot change hands by them.

 

TAG TEAM MATCH

TAG TEAM TITLE BOUT

42nd Street© vs Andrea Montgomery & The Birdman

A scheduling conflict, a bad time for a vacation, a frustrated partner and a new, 'temporary' replacement waiting in the wings. All part of the interesting thread woven into this tag team title match. Mike Van Siclen all but bailed on his partner for a Hawaiin getaway, leaving Todd Cortez with the tag straps over both of his shoulders -- but never fear, for the Masked Man is here! And MM and Todd have looked very comfortable as a team, going so far as to pick out their own name, despite the fact that technically MVS and Todd are still the champions. They succeeded in defending the belts once, and have been put to task again against the surprisingly successful combination of Andrea Montgomery and the Birdman. All of this is very intersting -- especially the fact that Mike's flight comes in at 4:00pm Sunday afternoon.

 

TRIPLE THREAT

NUMBER ONE CONTENDER BOUT; SUBMISSIONS MATCH

Jamie Drazon vs Ace Lezaire vs Dace Night

Let's try this again, but this time, with Dace thrown into the mix. Ace and JD faced a few shows ago for the right to face the world champion after this PPV, but unfortunately, they both missed their flights. Now, they get an opportunity to do this again, with the ever-hungry Dace Night tossed in for effect; both to try and satiate his unending desire to get his hands on the biggest prize the SWF has to offer and to show a little symmetry with the main event. And why not go a step further -- the winner is the man who can contort his opponents in the most interesting way!

 

SINGLES MATCH

ICTV TITLE BOUT

Johnny Dangerous© vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix

In what could be considered a sizeable upset, Johnny Dangerous defeated Landon Maddix for the ICTV title a few weeks back. Given that Maddix had run the gauntlet and then run it back after winning the belt, it shouldn't be too surprising that the gargantuan effort he'd been putting in finally caught up with him. That said, upset or not, Maddix is incredibly capable, and is incredibly eager to get his rematch for the belt. Easier said than done, as Dangerous sees it as his ticket to the top of the card, and is keep the gold in a white-knuckled grip.

 

SINGLES MATCH

USJL TITLE BOUT

Manson© vs "The Icon" Max King

The long-suffering Manson finally broke through a few shows again, capturing his first title in a long, long, LONG time, dethroning the Masked Man for the USJL championship. With all that is left of the SJL compressed into the belt hanging off his shoulder, it no doubt has the man who was in the SJL for years beaming with pride -- but now comes the hard part. Max King beat Vladimir Everheart for the right to face Manson on PPV, and so he comes to make the date.

 

HARDCORE MATCH

HARDCORE TITLE BOUT

Martin "Big Country" Hunt© vs Sean Davis

Sean Davis has been the odd man out in Revolution Zero, yet to make a big impression -- although he blames much of this on "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins, saying he failed to come through when they faced Masked Man and Todd Cortez for the world tag team titles. All is not rosy with that team, and they haven't been awarded a rematch for this PPV with Andrea and the Birdman winning the tag contendership. Strangely enough, Davis has been given an opportunity to prove his worth with a shot at Martin Hunt's hardcore title, something I'm sure he has no arguments about.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Ced Ordonez vs Munich

They've been teaming a lot recently, but it needs to be noted that Ced and Munich aren't allies. The two of them face off after a short stint of handicap matches at GZ.

 

SINGLES MATCH

??? vs Candace

???-man makes another epic return to the SWF, this time facing off against relative newcomer Canadace. ??? man, you know who you are, make sure you send your stats out.

 

MALL BRAWL V

Austin Sly vs "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart vs Edward James vs Petey the Irish Penguin vs Ryan Dustin vs ???

Outside of Austin Sly, these five men have floudered recently. Sly's shot at the Cruiserweight title is guaranteed, but further direction and a definite move up the card could be assured with a victory here, and that goes double for everyone else involved. Especially the ever-ambiguous ???, a marathon man tonight making the first of two appearances on the card. The classic, crazy clusterfuck and one of the SWF's hallmark gimmick matches is back, and better than ever!

Rules: There is a red balloon somewhere in the mall, inside of which is a gold ticket and some confetti. Whoever pops the balloon and takes hold of the gold ticket is the winner. This takes place in Northpark Center Mall, just outside of downtown Dallas, and everywhere in the mall is game. I guess you could look up store listings or floorplans or whatever, but it's not necessary.

[the.weej 0]

Instead of the sold-out home of SWF Ground Zero, the American Airlines Center in Dallas, the outside of the Northpark Center Mall in the Dallas suburbs comes up on the screen. The fans inside the arena pop as the mall pops up on the SmarkTron®, and pop even louder as the camera switches to a view inside the mall, where 5 SWF superstars are standing, waiting for the match to begin. The camera pans over Austin Sly, Ryan Dustin, Vladimir Everheart, Edward James, and finally Petey as Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley’s voices return to the airwaves.

 

“Citizens, Ground Zero is an event packed with incredible matches, but this might be the most anticipated of all matches!” exclaims Cyclone Comet, as Riley listens in. “Tonight, a long-standing SJL tradition makes its first appearance in the SWF as tonight, our show will open with the greatest gimmick match created by the SWF in its long and glorious history: Mall Brawl V!”

 

“Comet, I gotta say, I am DEFINITELY looking forward to this match. Now, I know that many of these competitors are looking to make their true prowess felt throughout the league. However, this is the best opportunity they’ll have to move up the card! Previous Mall Brawl champions include the man competing for the #1 contendership to the SWF World Title, Jamie Drazon, as well as the man defending that same belt here tonight, Janus!”

 

“Right are you, Robert” agrees Comet, as the camera pans in on Petey, who is huddling with Mini-Macphisto, Wallace McHaggis, and Sean O’Connor in one corner of the store (which appears to be a bookstore). The camera pans over to see Austin Sly and his manager, NTD, also deep in conference. Meanwhile, Ryan Dustin is flipping through an issue of Sports Illustrated from the magazine rack, Vlad is stretching out, and Edward James is staring off into space, lost deep in thought. “However, there are no guarantees that this match will launch the victor into the rarified air of the main event! In fact, a certain poor imitation of yours truly quickly fell out of the league after his victory in a Mall Brawl!”

 

“You’re just jealous because Vanguard had that cool owl, and all you had was that stupid Pepsi MAX vending machine!” shoots back Riley. Comet simply ignores Riley as Matt Kivell appears in front of the five men in the store. Dustin tosses the magazine aside and pays attention, as do the rest of the entrants. A small crowd of people have gathered outside the store, watching as Kivell handles introductions for the superstars.

 

“This match is a MALL BRAWL MATCH!” exclaims Matty Kivell, which gets a big pop from the crowd. “Somewhere in this mall, there is a golden balloon containing a ticket! The superstar who finds the ticket and shows it to one of the two SWF officials in the mall will be declared the winner! The three SWF officials in attendance are myself and fellow referee Eddy Long. And now, the participants:”

 

“Introducing first, from Carson City, Nevada, weighing in at 228 pounds, he is “The Real Deal”…RYAN DUSTIN!”

 

Dustin nods his head, acknowledging the claps from the crowd assembled outside the bookstore, then resumes rotating his shoulders, trying to loosen up for the match.

 

“Introducing our second competitor, from Svalbard, Norway, weighing in at 245 pounds, he is “The Corona”…VLADIMIR EVERHEART!”

 

Vlad takes only a moment to acknowledge the cheers, then starts gazing around at the other four men, trying to read their thoughts.

 

“Our third competitor, hailing from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing in at 230 pounds, being accompanied by SWF Legend NTD, he is AUSTIN SLY!”

 

Sly gets a mixed reaction from the fans, getting booed by the SWF fans while receiving cheers from the confused onlookers. Sly pantomimes blowing a kiss to the section of fans booing the loudest, gets a high five from NTD for the move, then goes back to his strategizing.

 

“The fourth entrant, from the South Pole, weighing in at 227 pounds, he is accompanied by Sean O’Connor, Mini-Macphisto, and Wallace McHaggis, he is PETEY THE IRISH PENGUIN!”

 

Petey gets easily the biggest pop so far, as the fans cheer huge for the penguin with the giant shamrock emblazoned on the costume. Sean O’Connor, holding Petey’s prized inflatable Buddy Christ figure, just ignores the cheers as Wallace and Mini-Mac bask in the cheers, enjoying the moment.

 

“And the fifth entrant, from Redwater, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 276 pounds, he is EDWARD JAMES!”

 

James also gets a nice cheer (although paling compared to Petey’s), and he cracks a quick smile before getting back into his frame of mind, ready for the match. He and Vlad quickly exchange glances before James looks away, ready to go.

 

Kivell puts down his card and looks around, which gets the attention of the five men. “Hey, Kivell, where’s this mystery idiot they said was gonna be here?” asks Austin Sly. “I thought we were gonna make this a six-way dance!”

 

Kivell continues to look around the store and out through the crowd, searching for a familiar face. “I’m not quite sure…” he trails off, looking intently in the direction of the food court. “He was supposed to be here by now!”

 

Sly laughs, and Dustin cuts in: “Well, who was it anyways? You might as well tell us before we get this going.”

 

“It was Cutthroat!” cries out Sly, laughing as he says it. “Kivell, you should go check the bathrooms!”

 

“It was CUTTHROAT?” asks Petey, incredulous at the statement. “They let HIM back in?”

 

Kivell tries to say something, but Sly cuts him off: “It has to be him! Who else would no-show this match? I mean, he’s been in a ton of them anyways! It’s like putting the Brooklyn Brawler in the Royal Rumble!”

 

“Well, one less person…makes things easier on me” says James.

 

“Cut…throat?” asks Vlad in his broken English.

 

“He’s just this jobber” says Sly, still smiling broadly as he cuts Kivell off again. “He wasn’t gonna win this thing anyways.

 

Kivell finally has an opportunity to speak, and cuts in: “Hey, guys, it ISN’T Cutthroat. In fact, there he is right there!”

 

The five men, as well as the assorted managers and posse members, not to mention the crowd outside the first-floor bookstore, the crowd in the American Airlines Center, and Comet and Riley all turn to look to the figure, towering above everyone else, as he walks into the bookstore. Sly’s smile immediately disappears, as does Ryan Dustin’s. James suddenly looks a lot more nervous, while Vladimir Everheart’s facial expression doesn’t change at all. Finally, Petey squawks out, “HOLY SHIT! IT’S STRANGLER!”

 

The American Airlines Center goes nuts as the camera pans in, revealing the face to indeed belong to the one, the only Boston Strangler! The crowd outside the store starts shouting and slapping him on the back as he walks into the store and tosses his jacket aside, ready to wrestle. “Good to see you again, Matty”, says Strangler to Kivell as the rest of the competitors are still somewhat in shock from the appearance of the former SWF World Champion as the sixth and final competitor in this match. Sly and NTD quickly rehuddle, as do Petey and his posse, while the other three men quickly look Strangler up and down. He looks a little heavier than he did during his career, but still good enough to tangle with the five men in front of him.The five men keep looking on, and Strangler shoots a shit-eating grin back at all of them as Matty Kivell pulls out a starter’s pistol, raises it into the air, and fires it, signaling the start of the match.

 

Strangler doesn’t move a muscle, continuing his staredown with the SWF stars. Sly looks over at NTD, unsure of what to do, while Petey and Ryan Dustin shoot each other a look, clearly worried about this. James looks Strangler up and down, sizing him up, as if to see who would be the stronger of the two. The still life is broken by Vlad, who goes sprinting out of the store, heading for the escalators. This seems to shock the others into motion. Strangler goes sprinting for the doors as well, with the four other competitors right on his heels. Sly tries to sneak by on the left side, but Strangler throws a wicked back elbow, knocking Sly backwards. Strangler slips out the door first and heads for the food court, while Ryan Dustin heads off towards the same escalator Vlad used. Austin Sly, recovered from his elbow, starts to head off after Strangler, while NTD slips away and starts to head to the other end of the mall. Meanwhile, Petey shouts out instructions to Sean, Wallace, and Buddy Christ, who all follow him towards the elevator. They crowd into the elevator and jam the button for the 3rd floor of the mall, which sends the elevator rocketing upwards. Meanwhile, Edward James watches Matty Kivell start to head for the food court as well, and heads after him.

 

“Comet, did I just see what I thought I saw?” asks Riley, still in disbelief.

 

Comet pauses for just a moment, then continues on: “Robert, I think we did! The Boston Strangler has appeared out of retirement, if only for tonight, to compete in this Mall Brawl matchup!”

 

The camera switches to a shot of Strangler entering the food court, looking around intently, as Riley exclaims, “I can’t believe that after all that, he’s back here…he’s up there on the list of people I’d like to see gone from this federation forever!”

 

“Citizen Robert, who happens to be number one on that list?” asks Comet as Strangler gets blindsided by Austin Sly, who attacks from behind.

 

“I’ll give you a hint: He wears spandex, and I have to deal with him all night long…”

 

Strangler goes stumbling over a table before spinning around, looking for revenge. However, Sly is ready for it, and slams into Strangler with a big forearm shot. Strangler falls backwards over the table behind him and falls over onto the ground. Sly goes sprinting away towards the Sbarro at the far end of the food court, and Strangler, a look of annoyance on his face, immediately goes after Sly as Edward James enters the food court. Strangler chases after Sly, who has charged into the Sbarro kitchen and started tossing things around, looking for the golden balloon. Strangler sneaks up behind Austin and slaps a sleeper hold on him. Sly reacts quicky with a backwards kick that catches Strangler in the upper thigh, just below the groin. Strangler goes shooting back out of instinct, and Sly takes the opportunity by grabbing a pizza tray off a nearby rack and slamming it over Strangler’s head. Strangler lurches backwards, and Sly comes charging forward, still armed with his tray. He swings hard at Strangler, who just manages to dodge out of the way. He disarms Sly with a kick to the gut, then hoists him up into a Gorilla Press position. A small group of SWF fans have followed the two grapplers into the kitchen, and cheer Strangler on as he drops Sly face-first into a pair of extra-cheese pies that are fresh out of the oven. Strangler looks around, finds no trace of the golden balloon, and then exits the kitchen, leaving Sly face-down in a pile of cheese and sauce.

 

Strangler finds Edward James hunting around behind the counter at the Panda King restaurant. Strangler stares over at James, who, noticing Strangler’s presence, looks up at him. James reaches out for a weapon, never once taking his eyes off Strangler, but Strangler simply smiles at him, doesn’t say a word, and walks out of the food court, leaving the territory to James and Sly. James smirks, then throws more materials out of the way, trying to find the elusive balloon.

 

As Strangler exits the food court, the camera cuts to Petey and the Celtic Misfits, who are up on the third floor. They’re looking over the entire floor, searching for a glimpse of the elusive golden balloon. Finding nothing, they decide to charge into the nearest store, which happens to be an “As Seen On TV” store. Wallace is immediately distracted as he spies a Ronco Rotisserie Oven that now holds up to 5 full turkeys. Petey tries to get his attention, but is angrily rebuffed. Petey finally gives up on Wallace and starts to search the store again when a sales clerk confronts him.

 

Clerk: “Can I help you….” He pauses briefly, noticing the gigantic penguin costume for the first time, but manages to continue his sales pitch. “…can I help you find something you’re looking for today?”

 

Petey: “Have ya seen a golden balloon with something inside it floating around in here somewhere? And do I know you? You look familiar.”

 

Clerk: “Um, no. I’m just an ordinary guy.”

 

Petey: “Well, have you seen the damn balloon? I need to win this match!”

 

Clerk: “Oh, there’s a Mall Brawl match here? No, I haven’t! But those things are great! The one I was in was…um…I mean…”

 

Petey: “You were in a Mall Brawl match? Hey….” Petey’s face lights up through the costume as he recognizes the salesperson’s true identity. “You’re Leon Sharpe!”

 

Clerk: “Um…no?”

 

Petey: “It’s you! Why the hell are you working here?”

 

Sharpe: “Well, you see, when I quit the SWF, it turns out those t-shirts didn’t sell quite as well as they used to. So I got a job here, and they let me sell my old merchandise too! Check it out!” Petey glances over and sees a huge rack of Sharpe t-shirts, all marked down at extreme discounts, that look like they’ve been hanging there for a long time. As Petey looks over, a large manager of the store comes walking over, and he too looks rather familiar…

 

Petey: “What the hell? FROST? What are YOU doing here?”

 

Frost: “Oh jesus…please don’t tell anyone I’m working here!”

 

Petey: “I thought you were wrestling in Japan!”

 

Frost: “Well….that didn’t go over too well. Those geishas, they keep telling you that they want it, and then they just SLAM the door shut!”

 

Petey: “Um…OK?”

 

Frost: “Well, I had a lot of Frost-brand merchandise left, so me and Leon opened this store together. Do you want to buy a Frost-brand electric scooter? Or a Frost-brand earwax remover?”

 

Sharpe: “Buy two Frost-brand products and get a free Leon Sharpe t-shirt of your choice!”

 

Petey: “That’s OK…just let me know if you see that balloon, OK?”

 

Before Frost or Sharpe can answer, he goes charging out of the store, with Sean on his tail. He looks back and sees Wallace digging into his wallet to buy some Frost-brand honey ham, and sighs before leaving the store and heading along the third floor, still hunting for the balloon.

 

The camera cuts away to a shot of Vladimir Everheart, by himself on the second floor, hunting around outside a Suncoast Video for the balloon. “Balloon….balloon” says Vladimir in his broken English, almost hoping that saying the word will make the object of his dreams appear in front of him. Suddenly, he feels a finger tap him on the shoulder. He whirls around, but finds only a smaller woman holding a clipboard behind him.

 

Vladimir: “Yes?”

 

Woman: “Hello, sir! Today we’re doing a survey here at the Northpark Center Mall, and we’d like to have your input! Can you spare 10 minutes of your time?”

 

Vlad: “No…I am having a fight right now! Golden balloon!”

 

Woman: “Right…are you sure you wouldn’t like to take our survey? It’s only ten minutes long, and you’ll receive a special surprise gift for participating!”

 

Vlad: “My fight…I must find the ticket!”

 

Vlad scurries off, leaving the woman scratching her head before walking off, searching for another participant. As the camera follows her, a scuffle breaks out in the background, and the camera zooms in to find Ryan Dustin brawling with Petey the Irish Penguin, who saw Dustin down on the second floor. Petey takes a beating from Dustin, but manages to duck a clothesline and hit him with an Arctic Atomic Bomb. Dustin goes down hard, selling the move to no end as Petey goes waddling along the walkway overlooking the food court. He looks down 12 feet below and sees Edward James and Austin Sly brawling in front of McDonalds. Sly grabs a chair from a food court table and hurls it at James, who manages to duck away from it. Sly grabs a second one, but James grabs it out of his hands and tosses it WAY over Sly’s head. Sly pauses for a moment, stunned by the display of strength, then unwisely charges at James. James easily scoops Sly up onto his shoulder and sets him up for a move, but before he can execute, Petey jumps over the barricade and takes out both men with a big dive. Petey is able to get up quickly, with the costume absorbing most of the blow, and waddles off again as James and Sly lie there, still stunned by Petey’s quick entrance and exit.

 

The camera pans over to Ryan Dustin, who is still on the second floor. In his time off camera, he’s been busy, hitting four or five stores on his search for the golden balloon. He finds himself at the end of a row of stores, and looks up to see Sears sitting in front of him.

 

Ryan: “Bingo!”

 

Ryan goes sprinting into the massive store and starts looking around, desperately looking for any glimpse of gold. He goes darting through the women’s clothing department and into housewares, where he finds a variety of glittering objects. He’s about to leave when he notices a giant bunch of balloons tied to the rack…including one that’s colored gold. He quickly grabs the balloon and pulls it down, but finds nothing inside it. He prepares to leave again, but quickly stops as a smile cracks over his face. He grabs the balloon, pulls it out of the bunch, and starts looking around, figuring out the next step in his plan.

 

The camera switches back to Vladimir Everheart, who wandered into a Foot Locker. He quickly glimpses around the store, then starts to head back out. However, the Boston Strangler comes out from behind a display and catches a glimpse of Vladimir. He grabs a Nike off the rack and chucks it at him from across the store. The shoe hits him square in the back of the head, which gets Vladimir’s attention. He whirls around, only to be hit by a new Adidas right in the chin. Vlad looks around and grabs for a shoe off the nearest rack as he ducks a New Balance, only to find that he’s closest to the children’s rack. He sighs and starts throwing the tiny shoes at Strangler anyway, who does his best to dodge them. Vlad notices the table in front of him and grabs three cleats off the table. He knocks the table over and hunkers down behind it, using it as a shield to protect himself from the barrage of Reeboks that Strangler is currently sending at him. Vlad starts lobbing the cleats at him, and Strangler cries out as the shoes slam into him at a high speed.

 

“That’s gotta hurt a LOT, Comet!” exclaims Riley as Strangler catches one square in the face. “But on the plus side, you know Strangler isn’t gonna get any uglier here!”

 

“Robert, you make Ray Jay Johnson look like Don Rickles.”

 

As Strangler grabs a display of tennis balls off a rack, Ryan Dustin goes sprinting by the store…with the golden balloon in his hand.

 

Ryan: “I’VE GOT IT! KIVELL! LONG! I’VE GOT IT!”

 

Vlad and Strangler immediately sprint for the door, but not before Strangler gets one more good shot in at Vlad, hitting him with a cross-trainer at close range before sprinting after Dustin. James and Sly, down on the first floor, start running for the escalators as Dustin starts to sprint back towards the Sears. Vladimir overtakes Strangler and is the first one to reach Dustin just inside the Sears door. Vlad grabs for the balloon and yanks it out of Dustin’s hands, only to have Strangler slam into him, taking both men down into a pile. They wrestle for the balloon as James and Sly come charging in and jump onto the pile, grabbing for the balloon as Dustin goes sliding out the door and back into the mall.

 

Strangler finally emerges with the balloon and throws the other three off. He goes to pop the balloon, but Edward James grabs Strangler with a rear waistlock and throws him backwards, hitting a German suplex on the giant! James goes racing after the balloon, but Austin Sly outruns him and grabs the balloon by the tips of his fingers. Still running, he squeezes the balloon as hard as he can, popping the object. He looks down to the ground, but finds nothing but a small piece of latex. James, Vlad, and Strangler all come charging up behind him, but stop short as they see Sly staring down blankly.

 

Sly: “There’s nothing here! There’s no ticket!”

 

Vlad: “Ticket is gone?”

 

Strangler: “No, Vlad…there never was a ticket! Dustin tricked us!”

 

Sly: “That bastard!”

 

Strangler, Vlad, and James go sprinting out of the store, but Austin Sly stays behind and heads down to the first floor, hoping to find something here that Ryan Dustin couldn’t turn up. He slips around the corner and runs straight into NTD, who immediately throws a bag behind his back.

 

NTD: “Austin! What…why are you looking in here? This was my end of the mall!”

 

Sly: “Well, Dustin tricked us into coming in here, and then I figured I’d look around…and what are you hiding?”

 

NTD shuffles as he keeps the bag tightly behind his back, looking extremely nervous now.

 

NTD: “Oh, it’s um…a gift! For my sick aunt! You know, Aunt Claricia?”

 

Sly: “No…since when do you have an Aunt Claricia?”

 

NTD: “I just do! Now let’s go find that balloon!”

 

NTD goes to make a move, but Sly snatches the bag out of NTD’s hands and opens it up.

 

NTD: “NO! Don’t look!”

 

Sly: “NTD! No! How COULD YOU?”

 

NTD: “Well…I…”

 

Sly drops the bag, with the contents spilling out onto the ground, revealing something so shocking that the entire American Airlines Center gasps in horror as the camera pans down to reveal the last thing anyone would expect:

 

PANTS.

 

Sly: “You’ve been living a LIE! How COULD YOU?”

 

NTD: “I…I…noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

 

NTD goes running off sobbing as Austin Sly looks down at the pants, sitting there on the ground. Austin just shakes his head and starts looking around in the appliance department for the golden ticket.

 

On the outside, Ryan Dustin has made his way to the far end of the mall, far away from the other four men still down at Sears. As he walks along, he ducks into another sporting goods store…and gets DRILLED in the head by an aluminum baseball bat! Dustin hits the floor and tries to stand up, holding his now-throbbing head from the force of the impact. He looks over and sees Mini-Macphisto holding the bat, and winding up to take another swing. He ducks the second one and slams the bat out of Edwin’s hands. Adorable Edwin screams and takes off down the walkway, with Dustin in hot pursuit. Just as he’s about to catch Edwin, a woman steps in front of him with a giant smile on her face and a clipboard in her hand.

 

Woman: “Excuse me sir, would you be interested in taking a survey with us today? Just five minutes of your time, and you get a free surprise gift at the very end!”

 

Ryan: “Does it LOOK like I have time?”

 

Ryan tries to sidestep the woman, but she stays in front of him. Ryan watches Mini-Mac getting further away, and starts to shove forward as he tries to talk.

 

Woman: “Question number one: How many movies would you say you see each…ouch!”

 

Dustin pushes the woman aside as he takes off after Adorable Edwin, who has ended up pinned against a store under construction. He looks around, then scampers up on top of a nearby vendor’s cart before prying the grate off. He jumps into the vent and starts to crawl along just as Dustin reaches the vent. He grabs ahold of Mini-Macphisto’s leg and starts to pull, but Wallace McHaggis plows into him from behind, knocking him down. Dustin leaps up, grabs a clock off the vendor’s cart, and smashes it over McHaggis’ head before grabbing for Mini-Mac again…but he’s gone! MacPhisto has crawled far enough into the vent to be out of range for Dustin! Dustin sighs, then hoists himself up and crawls into the extremely cramped vent. Mini-Mac starts to crawl as quickly as he can as Dustin shimmys through the vent, which seems to be getting tighter and tighter around him.

 

“Now THIS is a first, Robert! They’re actually taking the battle inside the structural setup of the mall itself!”

 

“That’s what happens when you put midgets in wrestling, Comet. It never works.”

 

Wallace McHaggis is back up, and upon hearing the screams from Mini-Macphisto, he grabs ahold of the duct and starts to pull himself up. He leans in, trying to grab Dustin’s leg, and JUST gets ahold of his foot! McHaggis leans in further, trying to hold onto Dustin, but a sharp kick from Dustin’s other foot frees him, and he takes off after Mini-Mac again. McHaggis curses and tries to push himself out, but he finds himself stuck in the vent! He tries to free himself, but soon resigns himself to his fate. On the outside of the vent, the Boston Strangler goes passing by and sees a gigantic kilt-covered ass sticking out of the wall. Strangler just sighs and jogs on by, still searching for the golden balloon.

 

Inside the vent, MacPhisto looks back to see Dustin breathing down his neck, almost on top of him. Finally, he lunges forward and tackles Mini-Macphisto…only to have the vent give way, sending both men tumbling down through a wooden folding table 15 feet below. The two lie there, groaning, as they look up to try and figure out where they are. They both look around, and realize they’ve fallen into a sports memorabilia store. They see a crowd of people gathered around them, and look up to see a giant banner plastered above them:

 

AUTOGRAPH SIGNING TODAY!

7PM – 10 PM

MIKE TYSON!

 

Adorable Edwin and Ryan Dustin both gulp as they turn their heads slightly and see Iron Mike standing over them, with an annoyed look on his face.

 

Mike Tyson: “You have besmirched my autograph repository appearance. Now, I must smite you.”

 

As Tyson starts swinging, Petey comes waddling in as fast as he can. Mini-Macphisto goes running back to Petey while Dustin does his best to back away from Tyson. Tyson looks over and sees Petey standing there in his giant penguin costume, and does a double-take.

 

Mike Tyson: “What a freak. You bring shame to your industry! Hey, get back here!”

 

The last comment is directed at Ryan Dustin, who has gone sprinting away from Tyson and out the door. Tyson leaps over the wreckage of the broken table and sprints after Dustin, while Petey looks at the fans, who start clamoring for his autograph instead.

 

While Petey tries to fend off the autograph hounds, the Boston Strangler has made his way down to the first floor, and is walking along through an open atrium in the mall. He looks over and sees a 2005 Dodge Durango sitting on the show floor, with a box next to it for winning a free car. Strangler goes over and decides to check the car for the golden balloon, looking through all the doors. Finding nothing, he fills out a card quickly and starts to walk away when he hears a sound that’s all too familiar for Mall Brawl participants: A whirring sound that keeps growing louder.

 

Strangler swings around and finds Austin Sly charging…well, puttering…towards Strangler in a mall security cart, much the same as the one that led Janus to victory in his Mall Brawl match. Strangler just looks on as Sly drives the cart forward at full speed, straight towards Strangler.

 

Sly: “Prepare to feel my wrath, Strangler!”

 

Sly plows straight into Strangler…who stumbles backwards slightly and holds his shin, which took the brunt of the impact. Sly looks stunned at Strangler’s resilience, and slams his foot to the gas pedal again. Two seconds go by, and before the cart can pick up, Strangler reaches into the cart and hauls Sly out of it. He hoists Sly up into a Gorilla Press position again, and yells out “MASSACRE!” at the top of his lungs as he angles Sly toward the roof of the security cart!

 

“Did Citizen Sly really think that a golf cart would hurt Strangler when he was hit by a CAR and wouldn’t go down?” asks Comet as Strangler struggles slightly under the weight of Sly, getting ready to hit the move.

 

“Well, I think someone watched Janus’ win one too…what the HELL is that?” screams Riley

 

Riley’s gaze has fallen upon the two headlights that have flared up in the distance. Strangler and Sly both turn their heads to see that 2005 Dodge Durango start racing towards them, with Vladimir Everheart at the wheel! Strangler looks at Sly above his head, then tosses him off to the side before diving away himself! A second later, Everheart goes careening straight through the security cart, smashing it to smithereens with the Durango!

 

“At a time like this, Comet, only one line comes to mind” says Riley, with a serious look on his face: “In Soviet Russia, car drives you!”

 

“Vladimir is from NORWAY, Robert. Not RUSSIA!”

 

“Whatever” comments Riley as Vladimir struggles to turn the Durango around, knocking over the carts of two vendors in the process. Strangler and Austin go sprinting for the escalators as Vladimir revs the engine, turning it towards them. Strangler and Austin make it to the escalators just before Vladimir screeches to a halt in front of the escalators, having just missed his prey. He jumps out of the car and goes taking off after them as Strangler turns to the left, while Sly goes right. Strangler is sprinting along before suddenly SLAMMING into a woman standing there with a clipboard.

 

Woman: “Oh, are you interested in taking our survey? You receive a special prize for completing this short five-minute survey!”

 

Strangler: “No! No survey! Keep that crazy car-driving freak away from me!”

 

Woman: “But the special mystery gi…”

 

Strangler: “Outta my way! I gotta find that ballon before I get killed!”

 

Strangler starts to sprint away, but slams straight into another person. Strangler looks down, ready to help him up, before he notices the rather portly gentleman’s attire: A Derek Jeter jersey. As the swastika-esque interlocking NY hits his eyes, Strangler retracts his hand, with fury filling his face.

 

Strangler: “Serves you right for getting in my way, you fat Yankee-loving mess. Fucking Yankee fans…”

 

Strangler goes running off as the Yankee fan gets up, offended by the collision. As he starts to pick up his things, the woman walks over to him.

 

Woman: “Would you be interested in taking a short survey? Just five minutes long, and you receive a fabulous mystery gift!”

 

Yankee Fan: “Yeah, sure. Free is my second-favorite four-letter word after…”

 

Before he can offer the (presumed) expletive, Ryan Dustin goes crashing into the Yankees fan, sending him back to the ground.

 

Dustin: “SorrygottarunTysonwantstokillme!”

 

Yankee Fan: “What?”

 

He starts to get up again, looking furious, but before he can get into a standing position, Mike Tyson, still hot in pursuit of Dustin, slams him back to the ground for a third time. As the beleaguered Yankee fan looks at the third assailant, he looks somewhat surprised.

 

Yankee Fan: “Yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna go after him…so, how ‘bout that survey?”

 

The camera cuts back to Ryan Dustin, who looks behind him to see Mike Tyson quickly gaining ground on him. With a scream, he darts into the nearest store and looks for a place to hide. As he looks around, he realizes his location, and smiles as he tries to plan his way out of this predicament as well.

 

A moment later, Mike Tyson comes crashing into the store and looks around, trying to find any sign of Mr. Dustin. He looks and notes he’s in a store filled with costumes of all sorts, from ninjas to Ninja Turtles to…well, more ninjas. He starts creeping through the aisles, searching carefully for anything that’s moving.

 

Tyson: “Come out, you pathetic piece of pugilistic pap. I must reason with my fists, for civility has ceased to exist.”

 

“He speaks in quite the queer manner, Citizen Robert” mentions Comet, which gets an incredulous look from Riley.

 

“HE speaks oddly? Have you ever HEARD yourself!?!” asks Riley as he watches Tyson creep around into another aisle.

 

Meanwhile, Ryan Dustin is in the back of the store, hunting through all the costumes he can find. Suddenly, he notices one that catches his attention. He slips into the Petey the Irish Penguin costume hanging on the hook, and laughs to himself as he turns to slip back into the store. Suddenly, he collides face-to-face with the REAL Petey, who has started searching for the balloon in this store. Petey and Dustin jump back quickly before Petey recognizes who’s behind the costume.

 

Petey: “You’re stealing my gimmick! Prepare to eat Antarctic fury, bitch!”

 

Ryan: “Bring it on, Beakhead!”

 

The two start brawling in the back of the store, which gets the attention of Tyson. He goes sprinting to the back of the store. He turns the corner and finds Petey the Irish Penguin brawling with…well, Petey the Irish Penguin. Tyson does a double take at the sight and rubs his eyes, trying to comprehend what he’s seeing.

 

Tyson: “This perplexes me…how can such a thing be existent?”

 

The two men look up to see Tyson and step back, cowering in fear. Tyson laughs and walks forward, looking ready to whomp some heads.

 

Tyson: “Penguin suits or not, two people will be added to my glorious record of victitude.”

 

Tyson cocks his right hand, then suddenly groans and crumples to the floor, holding his groin. Behind him, the camera reveals Mini-Macphisto behind him with a baseball bat in his hand. Tyson clenches his groin tightly, yowling in pain as Petey thanks him before rushing out of the store. Dustin looks around, tosses the costume off, then throws a quick kick at the downed Mike Tyson before running out of the store, lucky to have his life.

 

The camera pans around to find Edward James, who has been wandering the first floor, trying desperately to find the balloon. He walks out of the clothing store he just finished searching and enters another store, which he finds to be the bookstore they started in. He curses, and in an act of frustration, grabs the nearest bookshelf to him and lifts it into the air before tossing it aside, an act of EXTREME strength. James shakes out his arms and turns to leave before he sees Austin Sly sprinting by, seemingly following something. James jogs out of the store, and goes to find out what Sly is sprinting out after. As he turns, he notices exactly what Sly has found: The golden balloon, bobbing above a crowd of people gathered up on a stage.

 

James goes sprinting after Sly, who has the lead on the race. He makes it to the crowd, who seem to be watching some kind of event on the stage, and races into the crowd. He slams through rows of people, slowly making progress to where the balloon, being held by someone in the crowd, is bobbing merrily.

 

“The balloon is in play, Comet, and it looks like Austin Sly has the fast track to victory!” screams Riley as Edward James, noting the major lead that Sly has on him, looks around desperately for something to stop Sly. He looks up at the stage and notices an entire flock of golden balloons bobbing above the banner, advertising a comedy show by Martin Lawrence, which seems to have attracted the crowd. As the crowd laughs, James smiles a small grin and runs as quickly as he can towards the stage. He runs up onto the stage and tears the balloons off the staging before tossing them off the stage. 300 golden balloons go drifting down on top of the crowd. Sly, nearly at the balloon, gets knocked down by the shifting crowd briefly, and when he looks back up, hundreds of golden balloons populate his vision. He yells out in anger and looks towards the stage, where Edward James is smiling broadly. Suddenly, he feels a hand clap down on his shoulder, and hears a voice that sends shivers down his spine.

 

Martin: “WHAT THE HELL do you think you’re doing, you overgrown white boy? That’s Martin’s scenery! You don’t get to just destroy Martin’s set! Runteldat, whitey!”

 

The crowd explodes into cheers as James looks at the small, extremely annoying man without saying a word.

 

Martin: “What’s the matter, cat got your tongue? Runteldat, you stupid overgrown…”

 

Before Martin can say anything else, James hoists him up onto his shoulders in the crucifix position and PLANTS him with the Backbreaker Crucifix Powerbomb. Martin twitches ever so slightly on the stage as James soaks in the boos of the crowd, who seem surprisingly upset to see Martin Lawrence injured in such a fashion. Suddenly, Sly attacks James from behind, hitting him over the head with a steel chair. James hits the ground hard, and the crowd erupts into cheers for Austin Sly, the only heel in the match. Sly, somewhat surprised, basks in the applause and plucks the microphone out of Martin’s motionless hand.

 

Sly: “Thank you, thank you! And what IS the deal with the black box anyways? If the black box is indestructible, why not just make the entire plane out of the black box? And how about that airline food? I mean, I use the term “food” loosely here…”

 

Thankfully, before Sly can continue with his particular brand of “comedy”, a revived James (the pain of Sly’s comedy being greater than the pain from the chair shot) grabs Sly and plants him with a reverse DDT before jumping into the crowd and grabbing at all the golden balloons in sight, popping them in an attempt to find the one with the ticket inside. By now, the other SWF superstars have noticed the swarm of golden balloons floating around and have converged on the spot, hunting for the balloon. Ryan Dustin is stomping on balloons while Austin Sly, back on his feet, punches the balloons in, hunting for the ticket. Adorable Edwin gathers as many balloons as he can find before placing them under Petey, who jumps on top of them, crushing them with his costume. Suddenly, screams come up from the crowd and the people part like the Red Sea as Vladimir Everheart, back in his 2005 Dodge Durango, slides into the crowd, balloons popping underneath his wheels. He jumps out of the truck and starts popping balloons as the crowd stampedes away from the maniac driving into the people.

 

The Boston Strangler, the furthest from the balloons, comes charging into the mob of people. He tries to fight through them to get to the balloons, but makes little headway against the wave of people in his path. He throws his arms out, trying to pull his way through, and knocks someone to the ground. He goes to help the person up, but once again pulls his hand away as he discovers it’s the same Yankees fan from before. Strangler pulls his hand away and starts to walk away when he notices the Yankees fan has a string in his hand. He follows the string up to a golden balloon, bobbing in the air, with an object noticeably inside.

 

Strangler: “Where did you get that balloon?”

 

Yankee Fan: “I got it for taking that survey you so ingraciously declined to take! Now get out of my way, you overgrown Sox-loving asshole!”

 

Strangler: “Give me that balloon!”

 

Yankee Fan: “What? Hell no! It’s my balloon! Go win one yourself…oh, wait, I forgot. You’re from Boston. You need to wait another 80 years before you win some gold.”

 

Strangler, now infuriated, lunges at the Yankees fan, but he steps backwards before swinging out and catches Strangler in the nuts with a HUGE kick! Strangler drops to the ground in MASSIVE pain as the Yankee fan sprints away with his balloon containing the ticket.

 

“Robert, the Yankees have been kicking Red Sox fans in the testicles in a figurative sense for years now, and now Strangler is feeling the pain on a physical level!” Comet and Riley both laugh at this, a rare overlap of their senses of humor. Meanwhile, Strangler is anything but laughing as he’s nearly crying on the ground from the pain. Despite this, he somehow struggles up and chases after the Yankees fan, who has the key to victory in his hand. Meanwhile, Wallace McHaggis, finally freed from the air duct by mall security, has seen the entire struggle, and yells out to Petey, who is still looking through the rapidly-shrinking pool of balloons.

 

Wallace: “Ay! Petey! The ticket’s over here!”

 

Petey and Adorable Edwin go sprinting off towards Wallace, and the rest of the competitors aren’t far behind. Vlad jumps back into the Durango and chases off after the balloon while Austin Sly, Ryan Dustin, and Edward James go running off in the same direction as well. Matty Kivell, also in the area, goes running towards the balloon to call the decision.

 

“Things are heating up, Comet!” cries Riley. “This could be the beginning of the end for this match!”

 

The Yankees fan looks over to see the entire Mall Brawl competition bearing down on him. He shrieks and lets go of the balloon, which goes floating into the air. Everyone sighs, but Wallace McHaggis grabs ahold of Mini-Mac, tossing him HIGH into the air. Adorable Edwin goes sailing through the air….before snagging the balloon by the very end of the string! Edwin comes sailing back down…but before Wallace can catch him, Ryan Dustin leaps into the air and plants Edwin with a picture-perfect dropkick. Edwin goes flying backwards into the nearby fountain, where he lets go of the balloon. The balloon starts to float upwards, but Vladimir Everheart snags ahold of the balloon out the window of his 2005 Dodge Durango! He starts to drive over towards Matty Kivell, looking ready for victory. Edward James looks around, panicking, then does the one thing that NOBODY expects:

 

He FLOORS Kivell with a HUGE clothesline!

 

The other wrestlers all look shocked as James stands over the laid-out Kivell, who seems to be knocked out cold. Vlad, with the unpopped balloon still in his hand, screeches to a halt in the Durango, then looks around, unsure of what to do. Before he can react, Strangler screams out, “WHERE’S LONG?” and snatches the balloon out of Vlad’s outstretched hand before sprinting off through the mall, looking for the second referee, Eddy Long. The others quickly go sprinting off after him, with the exception of Mini-Macphisto, who climbs out of the fountain and tries to wake up Matty Kivell while shaking off his soaking-wet clothing.

 

“A ref bump in a MALL BRAWL match? Citizen Robert, the misdeeds of the SWF have hit a new low here!” cries Comet as Strangler goes tearing towards the escalator, with Vladimir Everheart, Edward James, and Ryan Dustin right on his tail. Austin Sly goes sprinting up the down escalator in a vain attempt to get ahead of the pack, while Petey heads to the other set of escalators in an attempt to surround Strangler. Strangler makes it to the top of the escalator before tripping while getting off the escalator, sending him sprawling face-first to the ground. Dustin, who is right behind him, falls right over Strangler’s outstretched body, and Vladimir Everheart follows suit before Edward James falls on top of all three, crushing them all. The four lie in a writhing heap as Austin Sly FINALLY makes it up the wrong escalator, huffing and puffing. He sees the balloon in Strangler’s hands and rips it away before sprinting along the second floor, trying to spy Eddy Long. He turns to the left, but sees Petey closing on him, and he does a quick about-face, heading to the right instead. He starts charging along as Petey, joined by the four men who piled up in front of the escalator, go chasing after Dustin. Dustin starts to panic as he reaches the end of the walkway, but suddenly notices SWF Official Eddy Long across the mall, standing in front of the costume store.

 

“There’s Edward Long! Robert, this match is almost over!”

 

Sly darts across a walkway, with the other five on his tail, and pops the balloon. He drops the ticket and has to stop to pick it up, but before he can resume his last sprint to the finish, Ryan Dustin crashes into him, tackling him into a pile. The others all jump onto the pile, fishing for the ticket as they writhe around. All six men are punching and clawing, but freeze as they feel a shadow fall over them.

 

Wallace: “CANNONBALL!”

 

All the SWF’ers roll out of the way as Wallace, bringing up the (extremely large) rear, comes splashing down on top of them….all of them but Austin Sly, who had been caught on the bottom of the pile. Wallace plops down on top of Sly in a sickening crunch, and the five other stars wince in succession. They tear their eyes away from the sight of Sly being crushed under Wallace to see the ticket lying there. They all lunge forward for it, but Mini Macphisto, still slicked in water from his fall into the fountain, goes sailing, Slip-‘n’-Slide-style, across the floor. He snatches ahold of the ticket, slides straight through Strangler’s legs, and thrusts the ticket into Petey’s outstretched hand! Petey runs forward and hands the ticket to Eddy Long, who holds the ticket into the air. Strangler, James, Vlad, and Dustin all slump over, out of breath, while Austin Sly slides out from under Wallace, looking much thinner and rather dejected as he realizes what’s happened.

 

“It’s over! Petey has won!” exclaimes Comet!

 

Eddy Long: “We have a…..LOSER!”

 

Petey’s victorious face disappears as he looks over at Eddy Long, not understanding what’s happened.

 

Petey: “But…but I gave you the ticket!”

 

Long: “Oh, you’d be the winner all right….IF I was Eddy Long!”

 

With that, “Long” grabs at his neck and pulls upwards, ripping a well-molded mask off his face. As the mask clears his face, the six participants all gasp as it’s revealed to be…

 

CUTTHROAT!

 

Cutthroat: “Joke about me, will you? And you didn’t invite me to this Mall Brawl? Well, this time I’m going to win…without even being in the match! See ya, suckers!”

 

Cutthroat takes off towards the escalators to the first floor, where Matty Kivell is still lying motionless, as the six try and fathom what just happened. After a moment, they all realize what’s about to happen, and they all go sprinting after Cutthroat. Petey, who was closest to begin with, jumps onto the escalator and goes sliding down on his stomach, penguin-style, while the five other competitors jostle onto the escalator, chasing after Cutthroat. Petey goes barreling into Cutthroat from behind and sends the SWF’s ultimate jobber crashing forward into the feet of two individuals. Cutthroat looks up, and sees Mike Tyson and Martin Lawrence standing there, looking EXTREMELY mad.

 

Mike Tyson: “Look, it’s one of those twerps who destroyed my autograph signing! My fans were filled with rageaholic rage!”

 

Martin Lawrence: “Kick his ass, Mikey! Show him what us celebrities are made of! Runteldat!”

 

Before Cutthroat can run, Mike Tyson lifts him with one hand into a standing position before CLOCKING him with a brutal uppercut. Cutthroat goes soaring comically through the air before crashing to the ground just a few short feet away from Matty Kivell’s still-unconscious body.

 

Mike: “Much better. Let’s eat.”

 

Martin: “Runteldat, Mikey!”

 

With that, the two celebrities go walking off as Strangler, Sly, Petey, James, and Everheart all go diving after the ticket. James is the one to get a hand on it and stands up, with the weight of the four other superstars not enough to hold him down. James shakes them off, but fails to reckon with Ryan Dustin, who is hanging from the railing above him. Dustin drops off the railing and hits a move resembling a dropkick to the top of James’ skull, taking him down. Dustin hits the ground hard as well and stays down, leaving Petey, Strangler, and Sly scrambling for the ticket. Suddenly, they hear the all-too-familiar rev of the 2005 Dodge Durango’s engine, and they all scramble out of the way as Vlad, armed with his motorized weaponry, comes screaming toward them. However, he slams the car into a bench, which sends the car spinning wildly. As it goes spinning to a halt, the side of the car slams into all three remaining SWF stars, who go flying off to the side. As Vlad tries to crawl out of the car, cursing in what is most likely Norweigan, Matty Kivell stirs for the first time and looks up, trying to figure out where he is.

 

“Citizen Kivell is back up, Robert!”

 

Kivell looks around groggily, and as he looks straight ahead, Vlad suddenly makes a desperate lunge to the ground. However, it’s too late, as Kivell calls for the bell and the end of the match! The camera pans down, and focuses in on the ticket, which is firmly clenched in a hand, which belongs to…..

 

 

 

 

……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Boston Strangler.

 

 

DING DING DING!

 

“YOUR WINNER, AND MALL BRAWL V CHAMPION….THE BOSTON STRRRRRANGLERRRRRRRRRRRRR!” cries out Funyon back at the American Airlines Center, which gets a huge pop from the crowd. Vlad yells even louder in Norweigan as the other four men start to crawl up along with Strangler, all of whom seem to be surprised that the match has ended.

 

“I don’t believe it! I can’t fucking believe it! Strangler just HAD to win it, didn’t he, Comet!?!”

 

“Robert, this is quite the achievement by Strangler! Now he has managed to not only ignore the effects of being hit by a car once, but he has done it TWICE! And this time, being hit by a car, he was still able to pull out the victory! What a day for the Boston Strangler!”

 

“This is CRAP, Comet! He’s RETIRED! He said he’d never come back! EVER EVER EVER!”

 

“Regardless, Robert, the Boston Strangler has emerged victorious in Mall Brawl V! We would like to thank the Northpark Center Mall for allowing their facility to be used, and would like to remind the viewers at home, PLEASE do NOT try this sort of stunt at your local shopping center!”

 

“STRANGLER! GODDAMMIT!”

 

The camera fades out on the shot of the Northpark Center Mall with Strangler, still holding the ticket tightly in his right hand, getting up and celebrating his victory in his one-night comeback to the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation while the other five struggle up, still in disbelief that they lost. Petey consoles himself with members of the Celtic Misfits while the other four look like they’re about ready to go home and collapse. Finally, the screen turns to black, then a promotional video for Genesis V in late September.

[the.weej 0]

After the hot opening Mall Brawl, Commissioner Alex Zenon looks on the monitor in his office with content. When the door opens off-camera, Zenon cranes his neck over...just as John Duran steps up to Zenon's desk.

 

"John, what are you still doing here," questions Zenon as he turns back to his desk to return to commissioner work. "I've got nothing left for you to do here."

 

"I know," Duran admits, "I'd usually be gone by this time, but I wanted to ask you a favor."

 

Zenon sighs and leans back in his chair, distancing himself from the paperwork currently on his desk. "What's up, John?"

 

"Well, Alex--"

 

"--Commissioner Zenon--" Zenon corrects Duran.

 

"--right, Commissioner Zenon, you know that ever since I lost the World Heavyweight Title, I haven't been the same."

 

"Anyone with a brain can see that, John."

 

Duran grimaces, but continues. "Well, I think I know why I haven't been looking too good in the ring."

 

"Aside from your constant drinking after shows," Zenon asks suddenly.

 

"Listen to me, I think it would be in your best interest if you would just listen to what I need."

 

"Alright, shoot."

 

"Put me back in the main event."

 

Zenon immediately comes forward, prepared to bury his nose back in his work. "Out of the question, John."

 

"Why not? I proved that I belong there. After I dropped the belt, though, you immediately decided that it would be in your best interest to throw no-talent idiots at me until I magically got better. Well, Zenon, if I were you, I wouldn't hold my breath for any magic." After saying this, Duran begins to lean on Zenon's desk, looking for a little eye contact from the commissioner--for intimidation's sake.

 

Zenon brings his head up. "So you just want me to automatically put you right back in the chase for the belt? It doesn't work that way, John, you know that it never has worked that way. Flesher was one of our greatest champions ever, but even he had to work through the Cruiserweight division and so much more to get to this point."

 

"Do you think Flesher will get the job done tonight?" Duran asks with a hint of doubt that his aquaintance will win the title tonight. "Because I've already beaten Janus before. SWF From The Fire--"

 

"Yes, I know. Don't change the subject, John. Doing so won't make it any easier for you to be put back in the main event."

 

"Then what will it take, Zenon?"

 

"Do what every contender for that title does. Beat some people, hell, beat some*one* worthwhile, prove to me that you've still got what it takes to contend with the big boys, and in the case of Janus, the VERY big boys."

 

"Someone worthwhile, eh?" Duran closes his eyes for a moment, thinking of who he could possibly face to shoot himself right back into the World Title picture.

 

Suddenly, it hits him.

 

"Okay, Commissioner. I think I've got someone in mind. Someone 'worthwhile'. And as luck would have it, I think you know this someone very well." Zenon raises an eyebrow at this, but says nothing. "Have a good day, Alex."

 

Zenon tries to correct Duran, but the Notorious One has already turned and headed for the door of Zenon's office with confident strides. Alex just leans back in his chair again, putting his hands up to his temples and rubbing them gently.

 

"That's the last thing I need," Zenon says after a moment, as the camera remains focused on him until it switches back to the arena for the next match on the card.

[the.weej 0]

“Welcome back to S.W.F. Ground Zero!” Cyclone Comet yells into the mike in his best Michael Buffer imitation. The crowd seems to enjoy it and applauds him enthusiastically as Robby Riley sits quietly so as not to encourage him.

 

“The next match should be interesting as Candace steps into the ring against a mystery opponent.” Riley announces. “Why anyone would take a match against someone they know nothing about amazes me. Yet this girl –all 5’4 and 100 pounds soaking wet—has accepted the match”

 

“I believe that citizen Candace is closer to 130 pounds in weight”

 

“Well, she might be 130, but she has absolutely no idea who she’s stepping into the ring with. Whoever she faces will have a significant size advantage. How does she expect to train for an opponent when she has no idea who it is?”

 

“That may be true, but don’t forget than Candace has only had one match here in the SWF so whoever faces her doesn’t have much film to study. At any rate I think it’s time to turn things over to Funyon!”

 

Funyon makes his way to the ring. As usual he is very well attired in a $2000 black Tuxedo and a particularly spiffy pair of Italian leather dress shoes. He is wearing a black velour bow tie this evening, probably realizing it’s a pay per view and wanting to make an impression on the audience. He steps into the center of the ring for the matches opening introductions.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is one fall to a finish with a thirty minute time limit. The match is a singles contest and the first wrestler to get either a pin fall or a submission on their opponent will win the match. Allow me to introduce the opponents. First weighing in at 124 pounds she hails from Okinawa Japan…. Candace Okumura!”

 

“Candace is from Japan and from what I’ve been able to gather she has an pretty expensive background in Japanese Professional Wrestling” The Comet offers while awaiting Candace’s arrival. “I know the All Japan Pro Wrestling league has some very talented ladies down there. From what I’ve heard she has quite a bit of skill”

 

“I don’t doubt that but I’m not sure if they wrestle outside of their gender in Japan.” Riley retorts. “ It’s one thing to wrestle someone about the same size and weight but quite another to take on someone who is a foot taller than you that out weights you by 100 or more pounds”

 

The crowd begins a low grumbling, as Candace is slow to arrive. After a moment there is some action from behind the curtain as Frisco and Lobo come out and start heading towards the ring. As usual Frisco looks dapper in his black Pierre Cardon suit and Lobo is his normal fashion disaster wearing a brown corduroy suit jacket and sweat pants. This time however they are both wearing large Stenson hats that generates a somewhat negative response from the Dallas Texas crowd. Adding further insult Frisco is wearing a large “Kerry for President” button and a Michael Moore “Fahrenheit 9-11” T-shirt under his suit coat. That will go over great in Bush country. As Frisco reaches the ring he calls to Funyon to hold the ropes open for him to enter. Lobo assumes his position at ringside as a 400-pound enforcer—cowboy hat and all.

 

Riley takes a sip of water. “I’m not sure where Lobo is from, but I’m damn sure that Frisco is not from Texas. I have no idea why either of these guys are wearing cowboy hats but I am sure the audience doesn’t appreciate this”

 

“Well we are in Texas tonight. Maybe they’re going for a Texas theme this evening.” deadpans the Comet. “I wonder if Candace will wear a cowboy hat as well?”

 

“Yeah, an Asian cowgirl!” Riley replies. “If she comes out here wearing a cowboy hat this crowd will go nuts!”

 

Frisco casually strolls to the center of the ring and takes the mike. The soft murmur of the crowd has increased in volume as many are beginning to take notice of the “Kerry” button and the “Fahrenheit 9-11” shirt.

 

“Howwwwdy y’all” Frisco screams which invokes an immediate response from the audience

 

BOOOOO

 

“This reminds me of my favorite movie line” Frisco begins, further agitating an already restless crowd. “There are only two things in Texas. Steers and Queers…”

 

BOOOOO

 

“And I don’t see any horns on you”

 

The crowd goes on a highly audible “Frisco Sucks” chant as Frisco leans over the ropes and flips them off.

 

“This Frisco is a really annoying man!” blurts the Comet. “He is incredible lucky he has a security barrier and a strong police presence here tonight because I believe this crowd would do him serious bodily damage if they were to get to him”

 

“I think some of the people in this crowd may be waiting for him in the parking lot after the match. They’ll shove that Michael Moore shirt right up his ass!” says Bob Riley.

 

B O O M

 

Geysers of pyro’s explode from the entrance as a small figure emerges from behind the curtain. The music to David Bowies “China Girl” blares over the speaker system as Candace slowly begins her walks towards the ring. She is wearing her normal black playboy bunny tank top and absurdly short black leather mini skirt. She is once again shoeless for her match and thankfully she is not wearing a cowboy hat.

She seems very focused tonight and actually appears a little nervous. Candace quickly rolls into the ring and walks over to Frisco who gives her a quick embrace. She walks to her corner to await her opponent.

 

The crowd gives Candace a polite round of applause; tempered by the fact the obnoxious Frisco manages her.

 

“Well the suspense is killing me, who will her opponent be?” Comet inquires.

 

Funyon takes the mike from Frisco and gives him an indignant stare. Frisco smiles politely…

 

“Nice bow tie, Ass face” Frisco offers.

 

Funyon glares at him as he walks off, then returns to his introductions.

 

“Her opponent hails from Harrison Illinois and weights in at 251 pounds. He is The Spectacle Mike Van Sicien!”

 

 

 

“I’m head of the class…I’m popular” is heard over the speakers as “Popular” by Nada surf kicks up.

 

B O O M

 

The crowd explodes as gold pyros begin to fountain up of the top of the entrance ramp and Mike Van Sicien leaps out from behind the curtain. He walks down the ramp with a slick smile on his face as he mockingly points to a few fans before stopping half way towards the ring. Suddenly the curtain moves again as urban legend Todd Cortez follows the Spectacle towards the ring. Cortez crosses his arms in front of his face as he joins Mike Van Sicien.

 

The Spectacle quickly slides into the ring and immediately turns to face Candace. He is well aware that she went after The Paladin’s knee right at the start of their match last week and has obviously scouted her well. He looks in tremendous physical shape this evening and is wearing his trademark black wristbands and long black tights with large, Maroon “MVS” prominently displayed on the sides. His black boots are particularly shiny.

Todd Cortez stands outside the ring directly opposite of Lobo. He is wearing his normal grey “wife beater” tank top and black baggy pants. The usual gold chain and cross are prominently displayed. His face is stoic as he is watching every move that Lobo makes.

 

“Is this a handicap match?” Riley asks as he tries to make sense of Cortez being out there with Van Sicien. “Does Candace have to beat two opponents?”

 

“I believe Citizen Cortez is only here to watch the Spectacles back. Last week Lobo interfered in the match that led to Candace’s win. I don’t think that Van Sicien wants that to happen this week as well”

 

“Well Let’s hope so for her sake”

 

The Comet quickly glances over both Lobo and Cortez and can not help but notice the immense size difference.

 

“That Lobo is certainly a large man. He make’s Todd Cortez look like a light weight”

 

“Again you have a tremendous ability to notice to obvious.” Riley replies. “ Cortez is not nearly as large as Lobo. I mean he’s got some size but this Lobo is a freaking monster”

 

“Still it’s good to have someone watch your back in a match like this. Lobo may definitely enjoy a size advantage, but Cortez can fight as well as anyone. He’s tough as nails and if Lobo tries to push him around he’ll be in for a surprise!”

 

As Van Sicien makes his way into the ring he immediately locks eyes on Candace. The crowd is quick to start a low, steady stream of booing for him as his heel reputation is well earned. A brief smile crosses his face, as it appears he actually enjoys the crowd’s jeers. His eyes however remain focused on Candace as for the first time this evening she looks into his eyes.

 

Van Sicien crosses into Candace’s corner and offers a handshake. Candace does not respond and merely begins to circle him with her arms slightly raised as if to initiate a quick strike. As the referee motions them to begin the match Van Sicien continues to offer the handshake. As Candace looks on Van Sicien puts the other hand behind his back, nearly begging Candace to shake hands.

 

“Citizen Van Sicien appears to want to start this thing off right. I don’t know why Candace is refusing to accept the handshake,” says Comet.

 

Riley responds quickly “Because Van Sicien is a no good dirty bastard”

 

For a brief moment Candace glances towards Frisco as if looking for guidance. She is a bit confused by the insistence of a handshake. In that split second Van Sicien gives Candace a quick bitch slap. Candace immediately steps back and covers up as Van Sicien smiles broadly and points towards his head.

 

“Rookie!” Van Sicien taunts.

 

Candace immediately regains her composure and just nods in Van Siciens direction. She is unflustered by the maneuver. Van Sicien motions for a lock up and Candace hesitantly agrees. The two wrestlers lock up in a collar and elbow tie; Van Sicien quickly drives Candace into her corner. The referee is fast to motion for a clean break. As Candace again covers up Van Sicien cockily walks away. He raises his hands in the air clearly demonstrating he is giving her a clean break. Once again a cocky smile is etched on his face.

 

“Van Sicien is certainly confident here tonight” Comet begins. “He seems to relish the spotlight”

 

“Hey that’s why they call him Hollywood”

 

Candace again circles Van Sicien as the referee motions for the action to resume. Van Sicien raises his hands high above his head, calling for a test of strength. He seems to notice Candace’s small stature and quickly lowers them so she can reach. This draws a laugh from the crowd and a rapid missile drop kick from Candace, which seems to startle Van Sicien. As Van Sicien rises he quickly charges at Candace who shows equal speed in flipping him with an arm drag. As he looks up for a moment Candace quickly gives Van Sicien a bitch slap with draws a huge pop from the crowd. A look of real anger appears on Van Sicien now.

 

“ Don’t look now but I think the crowd is starting to get behind Candace. They certainly appreciated that move” The Comet says as Riley finishes off his bottle of water.

 

“That might not be a smart thing to do” Riley replies. “Like him or hate him Van Sicien is a highly polished veteran wrestler and this girl Candace is in her second match here. It’s not always wise to annoy the veterans”

 

Van Sicien rises to his feet and begins to circle Candace much like a lion circling a gazelle. The smile has vanished from his face and he is all business. Candace quickly fires a spinning kick that Van Sicien blocks by catching the leg. Once again he flashes a cocky smile as he thinks of what he wants to do next with her. Candace breaks his mood with an Enzuigiri. As Van Sicien tries to get to his feet Candace again fires a missile drop kick directly to his forehead that knocks him hard to the mat.

 

Outside the ring Todd Cortez screams encouragement to the Spectacle.

 

Somewhat dazed Van Sicien attempts to get up but Candace is waiting for him with a buzz saw kick. As Van Sicien falls to the mat Candace quickly executes a rolling thunder and raps him up for the pin.

 

One

 

Two

 

Van Sicien tosses Candace off effortlessly. He quickly jumps to his feet to avoid another of Candace’s patented missile dropkicks. Candace grabs Van Siciens arm in an attempted Irish whip. Van Sicien quickly counters this with a drop toehold. Once on the ground he straddles her and twists her arm behind her back. Van Sicien quickly moves to Candaces’ head and switches to a front face lock. Van Sicien looks directly at Frisco who is yelling –as usual—at the referee. He flashes his best “eat shit” smile and cranks up the pressure of the move.

 

“Holy Headlock!” The Comet exclaims. “It certainly appears the tide has turned.

 

“Van Sicien is just being an asshole!” Riley explodes. “He’s trying to not only beat this Candace but to take her to school her in the process. He’s basically saying I can do whatever I want here”

 

 

As Van Sicien rises to his feet he pulls Candace up and gives her two punishing raised knees to the gut. He grabs her by her insanely short black leather skirt and effortlessly lifts her to a stalling brain buster. A mock look of amazement appears on his face as he holds her up for a long while. Candace screams in pain as he drops her hard on her back. As she lie motionless on the mat he sits up and begins clapping for himself. A highly audible reaction is heard from the crowd

 

BOOOOO

 

“The thing with Van Sicien” Riley states, “Is that he’s so full of himself that he really enjoys humiliating his opponents. He should have just pinned her there and been done with it”

 

“I’m inclined to agree” The Comet retorts. “Van Sicien is having a lot of fun with the crowd, but he needs to focus on the match”

 

Van Sicien crawls slowly over to the prone body of Candace; He gives a very non-challant cover, not bothering to hook Candace’s leg for the pin.

 

One

 

Two

 

Thr—No!

 

Candace kicks out at the last possible second.

 

Quickly Van Sicien pulls Candace up by the hair. The moment she gets to her feet he gives her a powerful sitout jawbreaker. As she lies on her back he straddles her for a pin.

 

 

One

 

Two

 

Thr—No!!

 

Again Candace kicks out at the last possible second.

 

“Close call” The Comet understates.

 

“If Candace does not get some offense going here very quickly Van Sicien will have his hand raised here tonigt for sure!”

 

 

 

As Candace rises slowly to her feet Van Sicien begins to set her up for the Guillotine leg drop. As he is all set to run in with the move Frisco reaches under the bottom rope and trips him up. This brings an immediate assault from Todd Cortez who is on top of Frisco and unloading a series of thunderous shots to his head in a heartbeat. The giant Lobo runs and quickly engages Cortez in some out-of-ring action.

 

“That will teach Frisco to stick his nose in the match” Riley declares with obvious enjoyment in his voice. “As much as I hate Van Sicien I absolutely love to see Frisco get his ass kicked!”

 

As Van Sicien quickly gets back to his feet he is met again with another missile drop kick. This one connects cleanly on his sternum and knocks him flat on his back. As he gasps to regain his breathe Candace quickly drops a knee directly to Van Siciens balls.

 

“Cheap shot!” Rob Reilly screams. “Van Sicien will be singing soprano tomorrow”

 

Candace steps away for a moment as Van Sicien struggles to get to his feet. She flies in with a hurricanrama that rolls Van Sicien into a pinning position.

 

One

 

Two

 

Van Sicien is able to kick out.

 

The moment Van Sicien lifts off the mat Candace quickly rolls him into a small package

 

One

 

Two

 

Again Van Sicien kicks out.

 

Candace quickly fires a series of deliberate kicks at Van Siciens left knee. She is clearly targeting this one limb in an effort to limit Van Siciens mobility. As the spectacle grabs at his knee Candace drops a well aimed elbow hard at his lower back. As he attempts to get to his knee’s again fires a drop kick hard to the back of his head.

 

“I’ve watched his woman in two matches know and I’m noticing that drop kick seems to be about her most effective weapon” Comet states.

 

“I’m not so sure about that” offers Riley. “It’s obviously a move she uses a lot but at the same time I think she uses it to set up a lot of the other things she does.”

 

Candace quickly moves to Van Siciens left leg and tangles it with her own. She rolls back into an STF and applies some serious punishment to the leg. Van Sicien screams in agony as the referee is quick to ask him if he wants to submit.

 

“It would be something if Citizen Candace was able to make Mike Van Sicien submit here tonight” Comet begins.

 

“That would never happen” Riley replies. “A man with an ego like Van Sicien would absolutely die if he tapped out to a woman on a pay per view card. Van Sicien has probably one of the largest ego’s I’ve ever seen. If she makes him tap he’d never live it down!”

 

After what seems like an eternity Van Sicien is able to get close to the bottom rope. Frisco screams at Candace to keep him in the center of the ring. Cortez quickly moves close to the ropes himself cheering for Van Sicien to get to the ropes. After a hard struggle the Spectacle reaches the bottom rope and the referee orders Candace to break the hold. She continues to lock in on as the referee begins his count.

 

One

 

Two

 

Three

 

“If Candace does not break this hold by a count of five the referee can disqualify her” Shouts the Comet.

 

“Thanks again Captain obvious” mocks Riley

 

Four

 

Fi…Candace breaks the hold at the last second as Van Sicien grabs at his left leg in agony.

 

 

Candace quickly fires a rolling thunder on his and wraps him up for the pin.

 

One

 

Van Sicien kicks out with authority.

 

Candace runs in for her Diamond Cutter but Van Sicien quickly shoves her away. As she turns to face him she is met with a thunderous clothesline.

 

“That will slow her down!” Cyclone Comet states.

 

Candace bounces down hard on the mat as Van Sicien quickly rolls under the bottom rope and walks over to Todd Cortez. He is clearly limping on his left leg.

 

“What is Van Sicien doing now?” Riley asks with amazement in his voice. “Candace is flat on her back in the ring and he takes a break?”

 

“I think that she hurt his leg there. I think citizen Van Sicien is trying to walk it off and regroup a bit”

 

The referee quickly goes to the ropes and begins his count.

 

One

 

Two

 

Three

 

Riley glances at the Comet and cracks a smile. “Go ahead and say it”

 

“Mike Van Sicien has until a count of ten to get back in the ring or he’ll be counted out”

 

Riley just nods his head at the stunning revelation.

 

Four

 

Five

 

Six

 

Frisco begins screaming at the referee to count out Van Sicien. Lobo moves a little in the direction of the Spectacle as Todd Cortez yells at him to back off.

 

Seven

 

Eight

 

Van Sicien quickly rolls back into the ring and faces Candace. This time the look of cocky arrogance has faded and he appears dangerously serious. He locks up in another collar and elbow tie. As they struggle with the hold he fires a devastating knee deep into Candace’s stomach. As she doubles over he quickly snaps a DDT on her driving her head first into the mat.

 

“ That will give her a headache tomorrow” Riley warns.

 

Van Sicien begins to climb the turn buckle. As Candace starts to stir from the neck breaker he rethinks his planned frog splash and jumps back down. He walks over to the grounded Candace and reaches for a handful of her raven black hair. This momentarily distracts the referee who immediately laces into Van Sicien about the hair pull. As he begins to pull her up Candace gives him a cheap shot to the balls. This immediately doubles him over allowing Candace to rise to her feet and land the Diamond Cutter. She slowely gets up, but rather than go for the pin goes to the corner ring post and climbs to the top turnbuckle.

 

“I don’t know about this” Riley warns. “I think I’d have just gone for the pin”

 

“Unless she doesn’t think that was enough to put him away,” Comet explains.

 

As Candace climbs up to the top turnbuckle, Todd Cortez grabs her ankle and knocks her off. Her head bounces hard on the mat. This brings a heated warning from the referee and a verbal onslaught by Frisco. After a moment Candace quickly returns and climbs back to the turnbuckle; standing directly on the top rope. As she readies to perform her diving elbow a recovered Mike Van Sicien meets her. He fires a hard closed fist punch to her stomach as Candace howls in pain.

Van Sicien slowly climbs to the second rope and attempts to lock Candace into a suplex. He is contemplating whether too merely suplex her into the ring, or perhaps another stalling brain buster would put her away for good. As she recovers from the last gut punch he gives her a quick bitch slap to the face. As the crowd begins to get on him he smiles cockily.

 

“Arrogant bastard!” Riley yells in disgust.

 

The moment he reaches to grab her for the suplex Candace gives him a brutal eye poke. Van Sicien grabs at his eyes in pain as Candace quickly seizes the initiative. She grabs Van Sicien in a front face lock and dives out of the ring. Van Sicien takes a nasty flip off the top rope and comes crashing down hard on the arena floor. Candace fairs little better as the jolt of the fall leaves her lying supine on the floor as well. The crowd gasps as both Van Sicien and Candace lie still on the thin padding that covers the ring area.

 

“Holy shit!” Comet exclaims

 

“That’s not something you see everyday Comet!”

 

“I’m not sure if that move went as well as she planned”

 

The referee runs to the corner to begin the count. Both Candace and Van Sicien are flat on their backs and appear near lifeless outside the ring.

 

One

 

Two

 

“They may not be able to make the count. Van Siciens head bounced off that pad like a ping pong ball,” yells Rob Riley

 

Three

 

Four

 

Five

 

Frisco quickly runs over to the fallen Candace and helps to prop her up. As Candace sits up Frisco seems to be checking her mouth for any missing teeth after the fall. Todd Cortez charges as Frisco and unloads several hard shots that drop both Frisco and Candace to the ground.

 

Six

 

Lobo runs over and nails Cortez with a wild forearm smash

 

“It’s getting out of control out there!” The Comet understates. “The referee needs to restore order here fast”

 

“He is” counters Rob Riley. “He’s counting them out”

 

Seven

 

Candace barely makes it to her knees as Van Sicien begins to stir. She reaches to the ring apron and pulls herself to her feet. Her legs are wobbly as she tries to get into the ring. Van Sicien gets to his knees.

 

Eight

 

As Lobo, Cortez and Frisco continue their brawl Candace grabs at the bottom rope. A heartbeat before she can pull herself into the ring Van Sicien grabs her leg and pulls her out.

 

Nine

 

Candace quickly turns and suddenly spits a geyser of dark purple mist into the fast of Van Sicien. He grabs at his face and falls to his knees. Candace dives under the bottom rope beating the 10 count by a fraction of a second. As Van Sicien holds his face in obvious agony the referee counts him out

 

Ten

 

DING DING DING

 

 

Cortez, still in a mortal struggle with Lobo, turns to face the ring and realizes what just transpired. Lobo quickly runs of to aid the fallen Frisco. As Cortez jogs over the assist Van Sicien, Funyon makes his way into the ring and grabs the Mike.

 

Candace slowly rises to her knees as Funyon approaches her and raises her right arm high in the air.

 

“The time of the match 16 minutes and 22 seconds. The winner via count out—Candace Okumura!”

 

The crowd responds

 

BOOO

 

“I don’t know why their booing citizen Candace” The Comet says. “She won the match”

 

“Maybe the fact she cheated didn’t sit well with them”

 

“The Spectacle did some dastardly deeds as well here tonight.”

 

Van Sicien throws a fit outside of the ring. He grabs a folding steel chair from ringside and smashes it hard against the ring apron. His face is covered with a dark purple swill but the rage in his eyes is clear.

Frisco quickly rolls into the ring and escorts Candace back to the locker room. Lobo is quick to join him as he is able to separate himself from Todd Cortez .

 

 

“That has to be an upset Bob. Look at Van Sicien he can’t believe it!”

 

Van Sicien is screaming at the referee in the center of the ring. His face black from the mist Candace had spewed into only moments ago. The referee calmly explains that his decision is final which only serves to infuriate Van Sicien further. He storms out of the ring as the audience serenade him with a chorus of boo’s.

[the.weej 0]

"YOU'RE A COWARD!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "YOU'RE A COWARD!" *clap clap clapclapclap*

 

Van Siclen, walking up the ramp, is none-too-pleased with the chants, and he lets this be known. Quickly procuring a mic, he shouts, "Yeah, yeah, I'm a coward for running from the fearsome tandem of Spike Jenkins and Sean Davis. God damn it all, you caught me." Van Siclen smirks. "I don't think so, kids. I put in my vacation time. Zenon comes out of left-field and books a title defence, well, that's not my god damned problem, is it?"

 

"YOU'RE A COWARD!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "YOU'RE A COWARD!" *clap clap clapclapclap*

 

"Call me a coward all you like, but there is only ONE coward in attendance tonight," Van Siclen says. "And his name is the Masked Man!"

 

As Van Siclen calls out the Masked Man's name, the fans roar for the man!

 

"MASKED MAN! MASKED MAN!"

 

"Yeah, you can cheer for him all you want, peons," Van Siclen says. "The point remains that HE is the coward, because HE is hiding behind every defence I made of the belts, claiming MY reign as HIS reign. Well guess what, Masked Man, the game... ends... tonight! Get out here!"

 

Silence for a few seconds, and then "Misirlou" by Dick Dale and his Del-Tones hits the speakers, and out comes the Sexual Maskosaurus himself! The fans roar as Masked Fury grabs his nuts, running to the ring and sliding in, briefcase, Tag championship and all! He sets the briefcase down, grabbing the mic from Van Siclen and beginning to speak himself, the gold of the SWF Tag Team championship shining on his shoulder.

 

"Mr. Van Siclen," Mr. Mask says, "With all due respect, it was you that left in the middle of a tag championship reign, and it was me that stepped in. It was you that vacated the belts temporarily..." the crowd begins roaring... "and it was I who stepped in to claim them. And as such, it is I who is the rightful SWF Tag Team champion, not you!"

 

"MASKED MAN! MASKED MAN!"

 

Van Siclen snatches the microphone away. "You're forgetting that I am the man who defeated Janus and Aecas! I'm the man who defeated John Duran and Crow! I'm the man who defeated Edward James and Ced Ordonez! I'm the man who defeated Alan Clark and Edward James! Goddammit, you Romanian bastard, I'm just plain the man, and that's MY Tag belt that's on your shoulder!"

 

TMM adjusts the tag belt on his shoulder, as if to say, "This?" The Masked Man grabs the mic once more, but before he can speak "Tres Delinquentes" hits the speakers, and the Urban Legend himself, Todd Cortez begins his walk down to the ring, the other SWF Tag Team title over his shoulder! Cortez grabs a mic from a ring attendant, sliding into the ring and beginning to speak himself.

 

"As far as I'm concerned," Cortez says, "I'm the one in a position of power here. I've been here for the win, I've been here for all four defences, and I'm here tonight to TRY and make it five. So, I'd like to make sure that I'm going into tonight's match with the partner that gives me the best opportunity to leave with the Tag championship still around my waist."

 

Cortez walks up to Van Siclen, staring him dead in the eyes. "Mike, I think you're an evil, disgusting individual."

 

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

 

"I think you lie, you cheat, you steal, and you flat-out are one of the scum of the earth."

 

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

 

Van Siclen scowls a bit, obviously not sure where this is going, but Cortez places a brotherly hand on his shoulder. "With that said, I've made five defences with you, and won these belts with you twice. Mike, I would trust you with my life, because you can get the job done."

 

The Masked Man lifts the mic to his lips. "In case you've forgotten, Todd, Mike just lost to Candace."

 

The crowd absolutely ERUPTS, and begins harassing Van Siclen even more!

 

"YOU GOT JOBBED! YOU GOT JOBBED!"

 

Van Siclen, furious, turns to Masked Man, looking to beat the piss out of the man, but the Urban Legend steps between the two, and Van Siclen calms down. Cortez lifts the mic once more.

 

"No, I didn't forget. And that's why -- no matter how much I may trust you, Mike -- the right choice for TONIGHT is the Masked Man!"

 

"STREET FORTY-TWO! STREET FORTY-TWO!"

 

Van Siclen looks almost hurt, and he grabs the mic away from Cortez.

 

"Let me get this straight. I bring you into this federation... I get you the tag belts... TWICE... I get us three defences and a solid start to what SHOULD be a record-breaking reign... and you're going to choose a masked FREAK over me?"

 

TMM speaks up. "Um, you just lost to Candace."

 

The crowd roars again. "YOU GOT JOBBED! YOU GOT JOBBED!"

 

Mike, pissed, speaks himself. "Will you shut up already? I'm more than willing to make sure you get jobbed tonight, too..."

 

"YOU GOT JOBBED! YOU GOT JOBBED!"

 

Cortez, now, snatches the mic away from Van Siclen. "You wouldn't dare, Mike, and I'll tell you why. You see, tonight The Masked Man and I will team up, and we'll win. But after that... as far as I'm concerned... you're my partner for the long run."

 

The crowd, for once, goes quiet. TMM speaks up. "So you're going to throw me onto the curb after two defences for a man who just got jobbed to Candace?"

 

Cortez raises the mic once more. "On the streets, you don't get many loyal people."

 

"He sold you out for a trip to Hawaii, for God's sake!"

 

"QUIET!"

 

Alexander Zenon, Commish of DEATH, steps onto the stage, microphone in his hands. "Tonight, it WILL be 42nd Street against Team Flip Flop, all right?"

 

The three men in the ring nod.

 

"And then, on Storm, Mike, if 42nd Street wins, I do not CARE how you do it, but the tag belt WILL be in your possession. And if 42nd Street LOSES, then on Storm, Hollywood Boulevard WILL get the automatic rematch, NOT 42nd Street. Are we clear?"

 

"Crystal, sir."

 

"Yes."

 

"Positively clearer than the Atlantic Ocean, my good man."

 

"Good. Now get the hell out of my ring."

 

The three men exit, and we...

 

FADE OUT.

[the.weej 0]

The Smarktron flickers to life as the crowd inside the American Airlines Center absolutely erupts. In the background, "Ground Zero" by The Diplomats plays. Like a volcano spewing its hot, searing magma, the Dallas fans violently jeer the three faces appearing on the big screen. First, between clips of his infamous Caffeine Bomb, Toxxic flashes that lopsided grin of his. His portrait floats to the bottom left corner of the Smarktron, and the fans continue to boo as another face appears. Clips of the Ego Buster play as Flesher's picture appears, smirking condescendingly at the crowd. It moves to the bottom right hand corner and a line connects Toxxic and Flesher. In the remaining upper half of the screen, clips of the ADF II roll past as Janus's mug is displayed. Two more bars connect Toxxic and Flesher to Janus, creating the triangle as Janus's picture stabilizes at the top center of the Smarktron. The pictures fade and are replaced with big letters stating..

 

TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS

 

THE STRAIGHT EDGE SENSATION

 

TOXXIC

 

'THE SUPERIOR ONE'

 

TOM FLESHER

 

THE CHAMPION

 

THE HELL MACHINE

 

JANUS

 

TONIGHT

 

GROUND ZERO

 

The Dallas fans begin to cheer for the Main Event Title match, as "Ground Zero" softens into background music. The cameraman redirects his viewfinder ringside, opposite the entrance ramp. There, Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley sit at the announce table, dressed in their finest. Behind them, fans jump and scream, trying to be seen.

 

"What a joyous occasion that will be!" exclaims Riley! "Three men, two falls, one title! Championship goodness!"

 

"Yes, Bobbo. The World Title match tonight has pitted three young men in the fight of their life. Coming up next, we have another title match."

 

"Hardcore!"

 

"Correct. Citizen Hunt defends his Hardcore Championship against Revolution Zero's Citizen Davis," comments Comet.

 

Riley looks at his partner, a confused look on his face. "Both Toxxic and Sean Davis have title matches tonight. Why doesn't Spike Jenkins even have a match?"

 

Comet just shrugs. Then he mentions, "Maybe there's an intricate plot to hold down Spike. That might explain why he lost the Cruiserweight Title so quickly." The superhero nods.

 

The shot cuts to the Smarktron, which again flickers to life. This time, a live view of backstage in the Airlines Arena appears. There's a door in front of the camera, and the plaque on it reads 'Sean Davis'. The angle zooms out as the door opens and none other than the Perfect Storm and Marcus Washington step out from the dressing room.

 

Marc speaks excitedly to his client. "And after you win the Hardcore title, we'll show this federation that you don't chance a storm, especially The Perfect Storm."

 

"You're so hokey," replies Davis. His facial expression relays the whole 'I can't believe I know you' feeling that Sean feels quite often around his lawyer friend.

 

"Where's your game face," the lawyer begins to ask. He's cut off, however, as his cell phone rings. The lawyer jigs to himself at his ringtone, 'In Da Club'. Washington pulls the small flip-phone off of his belt clip and looks at the number. A grim look crosses his face and he looks up at Davis. "Hey, I have to take this. I'll meet you at the ring, okay?"

 

Sean just nods and Marcus heads down the hallway as he opens his phone up and answers. The Perfect Storm sighs to himself and turns toward the ring, making his way to the entryway.

 

The scene cuts back again to the announce team. Riley looks on eagerly, while Comet looks bored.

 

"Hmm," muses Comet. "A phone call to the lawyer. Now Citizen Davis will have to win this one all by himself, it seems."

 

"He could do it!" yelps Riley! "Just as easily as Hunt could retain! With his frat boys helping, that is." Riley nods to the camera as he glances over at Cyclone Comet, just daring him to come back with something good.

 

"Well," starts Comet. He points to ringside, where a rowdy bunch of younger guys appear to be having their own little party. "Those young," Cyclone strains to speak the word, "Gentlemen are wearing Pi Kappa Phi all over. I imagine if Citizen Davis got close enough, they would have no trouble helping out their frat brother."

 

"They seem too interested in that keg."

 

"Agreed, Robert."

 

The lights in the Airlines Center dim slowly, as if large thunderheads rolled over. From opposite ends of the arena, two pyrotechnic streaks flash from ceiling to stage, crashing onto the floor! A deafening clap of thunder echoes through the arena, and intermingled with the heaps of scrap and junked cars, a line of fire jumps to life, outlining the entryway. As "F.E." by 40 Below Summer kicks up, the fans in attendance throw all their hatred together and toss it out in one long, roaring..

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

Even amidst the booing, a small chant can be heard picking up volume as The Perfect Storm steps out for all to see.

 

DA-VIS SUCKS!

 

DA-VIS SUCKS!

 

DA-VIS SUCKS!

 

DA-VIS SUCKS!

 

Dressed in his finest tux, Funyon stands in the middle of the ring. A spotlight hovers over his form, and he brings a microphone to his lips. "LAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!" he booms to the noisy crowd! He has to shout to be heard!! "THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL! INTRODUCING FIRST! THE CHALLENGER! FROM JACKSONVIIIIILLE, FLOOOOORIDA! WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTYYYY POUNDS!! REPRESENTING REVVVVVOLUTIOOOOON ZERO!! HE IS THE! PERFECT! STORM!! SEEEEEAAAAANNN DAAAAAAVIIIIIIIISSS!!!!"

 

Sean stands at the top of the ramp, a disinterested glare focused on the ring. His muscles are tight in preparation and his dark skin shines from the glow of the fire still dancing around the stage. He glances to one side and steps toward the crumpled debris that makes up the set. Sean pulls on a few items and finally wrenches free a four inch diameter steel pipe. The Storm grips the pipe in his hands and then rests the three foot section over his shoulder. Davis moves down the ramp in slow, steady steps. He wears his usual dark blue tights, a bright white lightning bolt edging down the left side. But on the right side, now, spelled down the pant leg is 'Perfect Storm'. Yes, they're pretty small letters, but it can be read. If you look close enough. Sean stops just outside the ring and turns around, facing the entryway. He hunkers down, rests the steel pipe against his leg and then puts his hands on his knees as he just waits for his opponent.

 

Swallow me (Swallow me up)

And take me now (Out of my inside)

Set me free (I've had enough)

And let me out (Of this abyss right now)

 

And as this life defeats me

I need to simplify

And everything that beats me

I need to purify

Fuck you all, fuck everyone and everything

You don't know me and you wouldn't want to anyway

 

The lights in the Airlines Center rise to their normal brightness and "F.E" fades away from the speakers. A hush falls over the crowd as a short, three second pause passes by. The twangy opening of "A Country Boy Can Survive" by Hank Williams, Jr. rolls over the speakers and the fans go wild!

 

"Can you believe these Dallas folks are cheering for Martin Hunt!?" asks a puzzled Riley!

 

"Texas is about as country as it gets here in the U. S. of A," informs Comet.

 

Riley comes back with, "I think you mean cowboy when you say that, Spandex Boy. I think North Carolina is way more country than Texas. I mean, Texas has cows and rodeos, where North Carolina is full of hicks and cousins who marry cousins. It's kind of gross."

 

The preacher man says it's the end of time

And the Mississippi River she's a going dry

The interest is up and the stock markets down

And you only get mugged if you go downtown

I live back in the woods you see

My woman, and the kids and the dogs and me

I got a shotgun and a rifle and a four wheel drive

And a country boy can survive

Country folks can survive

 

I can plow a field all day long

I can catch catfish from dusk till dawn

Make our own whiskey and our own smoke too

Ain't to many things these boys can't do

We grow good old tomatoes and homemade wine

And country boy can survive

Country folk can survive

 

Funyon once again addresses the Dallas crowd. "AND YOUR! S! W! F! HAAAARDCOOOOORE CHAAAAMPIOON!! FROM BOONE, NORRRRTH CAROOOOOLINAAA!! WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY POUNDS! MAAAAARTIN 'BIG COUUUUUUNTRY' HUUUNT!!"

 

To the cheering of the crowd, Martin Hunt steps out from behind the curtain. The Hardcore Title belt rests around his midsection, gleaming in the lights of the arena. Hunt holds a baseball bat over one shoulder, and a bottle of Southern Comfort in his other hand. The champ raises the bottle to the Texas crowd and then takes a short swig. Martin places the bottle carefully to the side, bracing it against a mangled lightpost. The bat is next as Hunt leans it against the entryway. At the bottom of the ramp, Sean straightens and makes his way up the ramp at a slow pace. The steel pipe resting against his leg looses its support and clangs to the floor. Davis ignores it and continues toward the champion. Hunt reaches back and unclasps the title belt from around his waist. The Dallas fans cheer as Hunt raises the title over his head.

 

"WHOOOO-HAAA!!" he screams as a warcry!

 

Martin finds a spot just above his bottle of whiskey to place the Hardcore Title, then looks down at his fast approaching opponent. The crowd begins to cheer long and loud as the bell rings..

 

DING! DING! DING!!

 

..and the two competitors collide on the stage! A punching war ensues as both men rock back and forth with right after right!

 

BAM!

 

BAM!

 

BAM!

 

BAM!

 

BAM!

 

BAM!

 

BAM!

 

BAM!

 

Martin rocks back from a particularly stiff blow from Davis, and before he can return the favor, Sean lands another stiff knuckle sandwich. Hunt stumbles further back, giving Sean the opportunity to charge at his opponent, football tackling him right into a lamp post from the set! Martin's eyes bulge with the excruciating pain in his back and he slumps to his ass, a hand covering his lower back. Sean gives the champion a smirk and takes the couple steps in order to pick up the Hardcore title. The crowd begins to boo angrily as Sean straps the belt around his waist!

 

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Davis just smirks at the crowd and shouts, "Tonight, The Perfect Storm and Revolution Zero will bring a new era of Hardcore to the SWF!!"

 

BOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Davis adjusts the belt around his thick torso and then also picks up Hunt's bottle of Southern Comfort. The champion begins to get to his feet, but a Davis kick to the back of the head keeps him down. Sean holds up the bottle of booze and gives it a connoisseurs' look over. He nods to himself, his lip twisted and a 'this'll do' look on his face.

 

Sean looks down at Hunt and says, "Not my first choice, but I'll play your game to show you I can beat you at your game!"

 

With that, Davis takes a swig straight from the bottle and that 'oh my god this shit is harsh' look overcomes his features.

 

"Look at this uppity Citizen Davis!" instructs Comet. "He's strapped Citizen Hunt's belt around his waist, he's drinking his liquor!"

 

Riley replies with a grin in his voice, "Yes, it's glorious! Next Sean will use the Big Country's own bat against him!"

 

With a shake of his head, Martin regains his wits about him and looks up at Davis taking another drink from his precious bottle of Southern Comfort. The craziness in his brown eyes is soon mixed with a burning rage. Hunt emits a short war whoop and charges low at Davis, catching him off guard and clipping his legs right from underneath him! Sean tumbles to the stage and the bottle of whiskey flies from his hand, breaking open on the metal grate.

 

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

"Alcohol abuse!" shouts Hunt! And he lands a flurry of punches on the fallen Sean Davis! Davis holds his arms up in defense and flails, knocking Hunt off of him. Martin rolls to his feet and grabs the baseball bat he set aside, then winds up to take a big swing at Davis as he stands. Sean watches as the bat comes down, but reaches up and catches the bat in his big hands! As Hunt looks at Davis, astounded, the light reflects off his title around Sean’s waist.

 

“My title!” Martin lets go of the bat and grabs at the Hardcore belt. Davis turns the bat in his hand and regrips it, then brings it down over the Hardcore champion!

 

“And the battle rages on the stage!” comments Cyclone!

 

Suddenly, Darude’s “Sandstorm” kicks up on the loudspeakers!

 

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

The crowd hurls their hatred toward the stage as ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins steps out with his hands raised to the crowd.

 

“And Spike Jenkins makes an appearance!” shouts Bobby.

 

Sean Davis looks up at his stablemate, his brows furrowing. Spike has a microphone and holds a hand up to his partner, asking him to hold off and let him say his peace.

 

“First off, congrats on your title win,” starts Spike. The crowd boos!

 

SPIKE SUCKS!

 

SPIKE SUCKS!

 

SPIKE SUCKS!

 

“Citizen Davis doesn’t have the title, yet!” reminds Comet!

 

“He is wearing it!” states Riley.

 

“Look, Sean. We’re a team. We take wins as a team, and we’ll have to take losses as a team,” Spike trails off, expecting Sean to take the hint.

 

Davis nods, grabs Martin Hunt by his hair and pulls him to his feet. Sean grabs up the current Hardcore champ into a Canadian backbreaker and moves into position in front of Spike. Jenkins smiles and pumps his fist as he backs off, then run jumps and..

 

SMACK!

 

..hits Hunt in the face with a vicious Yakuza kick! Davis uses the momentum to throw Hunt toward the stage, landing a big Dominator! Martin lays still on the stage and Davis remains down to pin the champ. The ref starts the count.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

DING! DING! DING!!

 

BOOOOOOOO!!

 

“YOUR WINNER! AND NEW! HARDCORE! CHAMPIOOOOON!! SEEAAAAAANN DAAAAAAVVIIIIISS!!” announces Funyon!

 

“And Davis picks up the Hardcore Championship with the Perfect Spike!” shouts Riley! “Spike and Davis are shaking hands! Beware Revolution Zero!”

 

On the stage, the tag partners shake hands, and grip each other in a manly one armed hug. Davis breaks away and raises his arms to the booing Dallas crowd. He points with one hand to the belt already around his waist. Spike also raises his hands as “Battle Ready” by Otep kicks up over the speakers.

 

Fade.

[the.weej 0]

The camera opens up to show the USJL title belt, sitting in a velvet box in a blackened room, illuminated so the belt gleams just right for the camera.

 

"The SWF United States Junior League Championship. A symbol of the past, as well as a symbol of the future." A narrator begins.

 

The screen now starts to show clips from the match between Sacred and Landon Maddix from Clusterfuck earlier this year.

 

"A title formed by the unification of the SWF United States Championship and the SJL World Heavyweight Championship."

 

Now clips of past holders of both sets of titles, including Tom Flesher, K-Os, Thoth, Michael Van Scilien, Annie Eclectic, and many others.

 

"History of great men and women in it's linage. A title that can lead to greatness."

 

The screen fades in to a split screen effect, on one side, Manson holding the USJL belt after his victory over The Masked Man, the other side having Max King standing proud on the entryway with Kelly at his side.

 

"Tonight, two amazing combatants will continue the tradition of the past that was set before them."

 

The screen fades to a montage of clips of Manson, ending with the picture that was used in the split screen effect.

 

"Manson, the champion, goes into this match with hopes of keeping the title he fought so hard for, fighting through depression and strange career decisions to become the carrier of the last vestige of the SJL."

 

The screen now does the same with Max King.

 

"Max King, the challenger, goes into this match ready to prove that everything that he's said about himself is true, and bring himself to dominance."

 

The screen now shows a superimposed image of Max King and Manson facing each other, looking at each other face to face.

 

"Tonight, one of these men will achieve their ultimate goal. The other shall fall in defeat."

 

The screen cuts back to show the belt in the box once again.

 

"For a tradition that has had greatness, and can lead to even further greatness."

 

After a while, the screen fades to black, one last gleam from the title belt caught as the fade out occurs.

[the.weej 0]

The pay-per-view extravaganza known to fans as SWF Ground Zero continues, as the American Airlines Center crowd anxiously awaits the next contest and SWF staff clean the ring of the last remains from the Hardcore Championship Match. "Ground Zero" by the Diplomats can be heard in the background, as we focus in on Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley, with fans mugging for the camera right behind them..

 

"(Comet) As you can see, Ground Zero is well under way! Up next is our second of five title matches, as Citizen Manson defends the USJL Championship against the vile fiend Max King!"

 

"(Riley) Finally, Manson will get what's coming to him for stealing the USJL shot from under Max King's nose a few shows ago."

 

"(Comet) Manson beat Max King for that shot fair and square, and you know it, just as he defeated The Masked Man for the title. Manson thinks of himself as a proud, upstanding champion, and I don't think he appreciates Max King's designs, or his hubris. Anyhow, this match versus Max King is Manson's first title defense, and in fact, it's his first match since becoming champion…"

 

"(Riley) The spectre of Max King looms overhead to take what is rightfully his. Manson thought he got rid of him by pinning him in the contendershp match, well, he better think again!"

 

"(Comet) Just as Max King had better be cautious of Manson, who is ready for anything, and whose knee is reportedly much better off than when he won the belt. Heck, everything Manson was until he came back to the SWF is compressed in that belt, what with its SJL lineage. He was a member of the now defunct SJL for so long that Manson is by and large synonymous with it… Needless to say, Manson won't give up that belt without a fight."

 

Cameras now switch to a spectacularly dressed Funyon, who clears his throat and brings the mic up.

 

"(Funyon) Ladies and Gentlemen… The following is a United States Junior League Championship Match scheduled for one-fall! First, making his--"

 

Suddenly, Funyon is cut off, as "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks hits, immediately working the fans into an uproar. Kelly Connelly enters the arena, and is immediately met by jeers and derogatory chants, by those who want the match to get under way, and others who simply hate her. Kelly swings her hips as he walks, all the same holding up her nose and sneering at those who dare to oogle her. She walks up the ring steps, and enters the ring through the ropes. She takes the mic from Funyon…

 

"(Kelly) Excuse me, but you're not worthy enough to introduce The Icon on this most important of nights. Now then, let me bring to you, a symbol of magnificence, a peak performer, a supreme talent inside the squared circle! Standing six feet, three inches tall! Weighing two-hundred and fifty pounds! YOUR NEXT USJL CHAMPION! 'THE ICON' MAAAAX KIIINNG!"

 

A burst of pyro explodes on the entryway, as "Superstar" by Saliva hits and the fans begin jeering incessantly. Max King steps out, a smug expression on his face as he walks down the ramp. Ignoring the rude gestures and cascade of boos, he holds up his head with extreme arrogance. King walks up the ring steps and onto the apron, greeted by Kelly who holds open the ropes, allowing him to pass through. King makes his way to the center of the ring, where Kelly envelops Max and rubs her hands up and down his body, before kissing him on the cheek and leaving the ring. Max then backs into the lower right corner, where he waits on Manson…

 

"(Comet) King certainly looks calm and confident going into this match… However, what could be going on in his head?"

 

"(Riley) What's going on in his head is how he's going to pound Manson into the mat! King owes Manson, and he used that fire to get this title shot in the first place, defeating Vlad Everheart. There would be no better feeling for King than to pay Manson back for his earlier loss and nab the USJL Championship in the process."

 

King stretches in his corner, as the house lights dim and multi-colored strobes flash as "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Prong hits to the HUGE ovation from the fans. With the USJL Title strapped around his waist, Manson emerges from the back and stops at the head of the ramp, where he simply rubs the faceplate of the title with the palm of his hand with a smile across his face.

 

"(Funyon) And his opponent, hailing from Denver, Colorado -- he stands six feet tall, and weighs two-hundred and thirty pounds! He is the reigning USJL CHAMPION! MMAAAAAAANNSOOONNN!" shouts Funyon.

 

In a change of demeanor, Manson breaks from his pose and heads down the ramp with purpose. Slowing at the foot of the ramp, Manson stares Max King down through his raven-colored locks, and rolls into the ring. Manson pops up and unhooks the USJL Championship from his waist, holding it by the strap and taunting Max King with it, before handing it to referee Matt Kivell. Manson backs into his corner, as Funyon quickly escapes the ring. Kivell presents the belt to both men and explains the rules, before holding it up for all corners of the arena to see. Kivell jogs over to a ring attendant standing near Max King's corner and hands the belt to her, where Max King and Kelly Connelly take a long look at it. Kivell calls for the bell…

 

::DING DING!::

 

"(Comet) And we are officially under way with our USJL Title Match… Max King, the challenger, taking on the champion, Manson!"

 

Both Manson and Max King emerge from their respective corners, and never breaking sight with each other, circle the ring. King goes low, going for Manson's legs, but Manson evades. King stands, and both begin the game again. King captures the leg this time around and tries to take Manson down, but Manson puts an end to that by hunching over and hammering King with repeated forearms to the back. With King's grip lessened, Manson knocks King off with a knee to the face! King flops backward onto the mat, and upon standing, stumbles around in a daze...

 

"(Comet) King initiates contact, however Manson is the first to come through with a knee to the face!"

 

"(Riley) A dirty shot, I tell you!"

 

Manson pursues King, and locks up with him in a collar-elbow. Both men struggle and push one another, seeking an advantage, however Manson comes out of it by breaking the hold and throwing King to the mat with an armdrag. King bounces off the mat and gets to his feet. King goes after Manson, who stands ready and lifts King up and over with another armdrag! Manson keeps a tighter hold on King this time, engaging King in a knucklelock as he hits the mat. Quick to get out of the compromising position, King rolls backward, and comes up to his feet. Manson is unrelenting, however, as he keeps King's hand trapped and pushes him backward into the lower right corner. In the corner, King pulls on Manson's hair, only to be warned by Kivell. King reluctantly lets go, as Kelly throws up her arms in the air in frustration over King's start. Kivell now warns Manson to bring King out of the corner, and Manson does so. Manson takes King to the center of the ring, but King stops Manson from doing whatever he has planned with a poke to the eyes!

 

"BBBBOOOOOO!"

 

"(Comet) King just very blatantly blinds Manson!"

 

"(Riley) However, I have no problem with that taking place…"

 

Manson breaks the knucklelock, and swats King away in an effort to distance himself, as he makes his way to the aisleside ropes. Kivell questions King, who claims it was only a punch, as he goes after Manson. Manson anxiously rubs his eyes, attempting to regain vision, as King approaches. King turns his shoulder toward Manson, and drives a back elbow to the temple, causing Manson's head to snap back. Still blinded, Manson pushes King away, only for King to lift his foot and nail Manson with a kick straight to the stomach. Manson keels over, and King lifts the foot again, this time kicking Manson in the chest, snapping him back upright against the ropes. Wrestling's Superman, self-proclaimed of course, takes Manson by the arm and shoots him across the ring with an irish whip. Manson springs off the opposite side ropes, and is struck with a lariat by King! Manson hits the mat!

 

"(Comet) Big lariat by Max King, catching Manson coming off the ropes!"

 

Manson shakes his head, trying to shake off the lariat, as he props himself up with his elbow and tries to stand. On the outsside, Connelly claps for King, and King responds by blowing a kiss, which no doubt causes tonight's live crowd along with three-fourths of the home viewing audience to wretch. King turns his attentions back toward Manson, standing behind him, hands on his knees and urging him to get up. Manson is able to get to a seated position, as King breaks from his pose. King takes a slow run toward Manson and jumps, somersaulting over Manson and grabbing his head as he passes by. As King lands on his back in front of Manson, he releases Manson's head, causing him to snap back toward the mat! Manson clutches his neck in pain from the rolling neck snap, as King simply sits on the ground and raises his arms, encouraging the crowd to lay into him…

 

"MAX! KING! SUCKS!"

 

"MAX! KING! SUCKS!"

 

"MAX! KING! SUCKS!"

 

"(Comet) And a perfect Curt Hennig-style neck snap, downing Manson!

 

"(Riley) King studied the best. An old favorite of Hennig's, that move is very effected in wearing down your foes."

 

"(Comet) Fine, but why must King insist on riling up this fine crowd… Just wrestle the match."

 

Max King gets to his feet and lays his eyes on Manson, who continues laying on the ground, holding his neck and head. Manson again begins getting to his feet, slowly but surely, as King simply slaps the back of Manson's head, taunting him. King declares that he's had enough of mocking Manson, as he takes Manson by the head, in order to bring him back up to his feet. Manson elbows King in his stomach, however, knocking the breath out of him, as Manson gets to a knee. Manson again elbows him in the gut, forcing King to let go of him, as Manson pushes himself onto his feet. Turning a shoulder toward King, Manson comes forward…

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

 

"WHOOO!"

 

 

With a knife-edge chop to King's bared chest! King grrabs his chest, turning away from Manson, but Manson breaks his hands, and…

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

 

"WHOOOOO!"

 

 

Delivers yet another chop!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

 

"WHOOOOOOO!"

 

 

Followed by another stinging chop!

 

 

*SLAP! *

 

 

"WHHOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

And another, just for good measure! King goes to a knee following the last chop, and Manson strikes King with a forearm to the back of the head! King shakes it off and gets to his feet, but Manson is there, as he kicks King's legs out from under him. King sits up, as Manson stands behind him. Manson takes a step forward, brings his leg back, and absolutely punts Max King's spine, which garners an "Ooh!" from the crowd! Max King spasms, and Kelly can do nothing but look away.

 

"(Comet) And Manson turns the tide with a series of elbows, some well-placed knife-edge chops, and a hard kick to the back!"

 

"(Riley) Lucky shots… all lucky shots…"

 

Manson goes for a lateral press on King, however King throws Manson off quickly. Manson pops up to his feet, and as King gets to his hands and knees, Manson again boots King, this time into the unprotected ribs. King clutches his ribs, as he rolls to a seated position off the kick. He begins to stand up, but Manson quickens the process, forcefully pulling him up by his head. Manson brings a leg up, kneeing King in the midsection, followed by another knee to the gut. King keels over, and Manson quckly places him in a facelock, throws the near arm over his own neck and hooks the tights. With a grunt, Manson lifts King up and holds him still in the air if only for a moment, and drops down with a vertical suplex in the center of the ring. Quick on the follow up, Manson rolls backward onto his knees, and into the mount position on King.

 

"(Comet) Manson is taking it to King now, and it appears as if he's about to follow up..."

 

Manson fires off a pair of punches to the face, but doesn't stay in the position for long, as he gets back to his feet, and again pulls King up by the head, again into the suplex position. Once more, Manson lifts King one-fourth of the way up, but King blocks by shifting his weight. Manson releases the tights briefly, delivering a series of rapid fire punches to the ribs, and rehooks the tights. Manson lifts, and gets King up this time around, landing a second suplex! Manson goes for the cover!

 

 

"ONE!"

 

 

"(Comet) Only a one count!"

 

 

Manson gets up to his feet, bringing King up with him. King huffs and puffs, trying to get some oxygen, as Manson grasps his hand and pushes him into the lower left corner. From there, Manson pulls King out and whips him to the opposite side of the ring. King gets his hands and a foot up, though, preventing him from colliding with the turnbuckle. King backs out of the corner, tapping a finger to his head, in order to show the crowd how gosh darn clever he is, but he backs right toward Manson, who wraps his arms around King's waist. King immediately breaks Manson's hands apart, though, and goes into a standing switch, then ducks low and takes down Manson by the legs. Manson hits the mat face first, and King floats over into a front facelock. The Icon lifts up Manson by the head, with the facelock still applied, and throws Manson's arm over his shoulder, along with a hook of the tights, just as Manson had done moments before. King lifts Manson into the air, and drops him with the suplex!

 

"(Riley) Take that! Take that, Manson!"

 

"(Comet) You're quite uppity for someone whose pick hasn't exactly been living up to his moniker as Wrestling's Superman tonight, Bobbo."

 

Manson holds onto his back, as King brings him up to his feet. King brings a foot up to Manson's midsection, followed by another, forcing him to take refuge by the ropes. Manson goes for a punch with the right hand, which King narrowly ducks. King takes the hand, and pulls Manson off the ropes, extending an arm and knocking Manson down with a vicious short-arm clothesline! Manson hits the mat, and King covers. Kivell dives down to count.

 

 

"ONE!"

 

 

"(Comet) Manson with the shoulder up at one!'

 

King stands away from Manson and lets him slowly, but surely, get up to his feet. King rushes in just as he does, however, slamming a knee into Manson's gut, allowing King to kneel down and wrap his arms aorund Manson's midsection, locking his hands behind Manson's back. King flexes tighter and tighter, squeezing the breath out of Manson. With seemingly no more to give at this juncture, Manson slumps down over King's back, spaghetti legged with his arms limp. Manson's head hangs, as Kivell comes on over to check on Manson…

 

 

"MAN! SON!"

 

 

*CLAP CLAP!*

 

 

"MAN! SON!"

 

 

*CLAP CLAP!*

 

 

"MAN! SON!"

 

 

*CLAP CLAP!*

 

"(Comet) The fans, this crowd coming alive for MANOSN!"

 

The faint chants from the fans is enough for Manson to realize that he's not licked yet, as he pumps his far arm. Fire burns in his eyes, as Manson raises his nearest arm to Max King, and crashes down with an elbow to the area between the shoulder and neck. King feels the jolt from the elbow, but keeps the hold on. Manson comes down with another hard elbow, loosening King's grip just a little, enough for Manson to get some space between he and King, as he comes down with a forearm to King's back with his right arm, before coming down with yet another elbow with the left. Manson shoves King away from him, and releases a chop to King's neck, causing King to snap off the ground and seek retreat. Manson lands another chop to the neck, as King haphazardly stumbles toward the aisleside ropes and Manson pursues further…

 

"(Comet) Manson fights out of the bearhug with a series of strikes! Guess Max never learned to stay away from Manson's proficient strikes after their last enoucnter…"

 

"(Riley) Damn these people. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Stop cheering!"

 

Just like Riley, Kellly tells the fans to quiet down in not so nice terms, as King turns toward Manson near the ropes. As Manson breaks toward King for a possible clothesline, Max King… ducks outside the ring, causing Manson to freeze in hs tracks near the ropes.

 

"BBBBBBOOOOO!"

 

As Manson keeps his eye on King, with Kivell warning Manson not to go after him, Kelly hops up onto the apron, on the other side of the ring. Manson turns his attentions toward Kivell and Kelly only for an instant, as King sneaks into the ring and ducks behind Manson, thrusts his fist up and low blows him from behind!

 

"BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"(Comet) This Max King and Kelly Connelly are absolutely despicable! Actions such as that are not becoming of a USJL Champion! I have a mind to give them a good thrashing myself and hand them over to the local constable!"

 

"(Riley) The WHAT? You are out of your gourd!"

 

"(Comet) Says the man with an unhealthy fixation on Tom Flesher! I'm surprised he hasn't gotten a restraining order yet!"

 

Kelly hops down off the apron, and Kivell turns around, conveniently just in time to see King pin Manson with a roll-up! And a pull of Manson's jeans! But, again, Kivell is a blind moron…

 

 

"ONE!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"TWOOO!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"(Comet) MANSON KICKS OUT AT TWO!"

 

King pounds the mat, before standing up off the mat. Meanwhile, Manson gets up extremely slow, as if he were punched in the genitals, which he just was. King awaits him, standing behind him with arms spread. Manson just gets to his feet, as King wraps his arms around his waist and clasps his hands. Manson throws a back elbow, followed by another, knocking King off the behind waistlock. Manson spins out and wraps his arms around King's left arm, the same side of the body to which Manson hit the series of elbows and chops to the neck earlier. King is brought down to the mat by the arm, which Manson keeps his arms wrapped around. Manson bends backward and digs his toes into the mat, as he pulls on the arm by way of the wrist!

 

"(Comet) MANSON WITH THE FUJIWARA ARMBAR!"

 

"(Riley) C'mon, Max! Fight out of it!"

 

King frantically claws his way over to the south ropes, with Kelly leading the way by pounding on the mat. King's face is red, and the veins in the shoulder are clearly more visible than they were before, but King gets to the ropes, after those few moments of agonizing torture. Manson breaks the hold, as King gets to his knees and rubs his shoulder vigorously.

 

"(Comet) King's shoulder and arm have gotta be feeling the brunt of this match now!"

 

King pulls himself up on the ropes with his right hand, as Manson goes after him. King…

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

 

"WHOOOOO!"

 

 

Hits a chop out of desperation, but Manson simply shrugs it off, and clobbers King over the back of the neck with his forearm. However…

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

 

"WHOOOOO!"

 

 

King hits another chop, this time staggering Manson and knocking him back a few steps. Max lands a kick to Manson's stomach, doubling him over, as he places him in a standing headscissors. King tries to lift Manson up, however his hands can't keep locked properly, nor can his left arm bear Manson's weight, as trembles and shakes. Manson keeps his own hands locked around King's legs, and Max is forced to release him as he drops to his knees, but is able to get back up again, as Manson heads after him. However, King is able to get Manson up with his right arm, the left being enough to support one of Manson's legs. Max drops Manson across his knee with a backbreaker!

 

"(Riley) BACKBREAKER!"

 

King waits for Manson to stand, and rubs his shoulder again, wondering if he can finish Manson off here and now, after being caught by surprise with the backbreaker. King wraps his arm around Manson's neck, and lifts him up for the King Buster, but again, Manson's weight is too much to bear, as he lifts Manson up some of the way, but is only able to set him down awkwardly. Still getting some of the King Buster, however, Max covers…

 

"ONE!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"TWO!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THRE---"

 

 

 

 

 

"(Comet) MANSON GETS A SHOULDER UP! MANSON GETS A SHOULDER UP!"

 

"(Riley) He… got out of it…

 

Kelly throws up her hands in the air, and King can do nothing but fuss a bit, as he gets up from the mat and walks over to the north ropes, looking for a break. Manson stands up, and despite Kelly's warnings, begins to stalk King, who's too wrapped up with the pain in his arm, just giving out during the King Buster. Manson picks his spot and runs up behind King, wrapping his arms around King's head… but Kelly gets through to Max, as Manson is unable to bring King down with him in the Consequences, due to King holding onto the ropes with his good arm!

 

"(Comet) HE MISSED! HE MISSED!"

 

"(Riley) Because King KNEW not to get caught up in the Consequences this time around!"

 

Manson gets up off the mat slowly, first getting to his hands and knees, then to his feet, while holding the back of his head. King sighs and charges Manson, going for a lariat, but MANSON DUCKS! With his back to Manson, King nearly turns around, but it's much too late for him, as Manson takes King down by the right arm, trapping it between his legs. He then takes King's injured left appendage, and places it underneath his arm.

 

 

King holds out…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But slowly…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He nods his head as his face becomes awash in pure agony…

 

 

::DING DING!::

 

 

"(Funyon) YOUR WINNER, by SUBMISSION, AND STILL SWF USJL CHAMPION! MMMMAAAAAAAAANNNSOOOONNNN!"

 

 

The fans let out a scream and cheer, as "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" hits, and Manson releases King. Max King lays face first on the mat, one hand pounding the ground, the other still and limp, as Kelly comes into the ring to console him. Manson stumbles back toward his corner, where Kivell hands the USJL Championship back to him…

 

"(Comet) MANSON GETS THE WIN! Apparently he calls that double armbar the Anathema, and it was good enough to get the victory tonight!"

 

"(King) Max King knew nothing of that move when scouting Manson! Restart the match!"

 

"(Comt) Face it, Citizen Manson bested Max King, and retained his championship, WITHOUT resorting to cheating. Anyway, up next we have the ICTV Title on the line, as Johnny Dangerous defends against Landon Maddix!

 

Ground Zero heads to the next segment, as Manson is shown on the turnbuckle with the belt, standing tall above his adversary tonight…

[the.weej 0]

"LANDON! LANDON!"

 

The name of the former ICTV Champion echoes through the otherwise empty hallways of the . But the man himself ignores the calls, pacing down the hallway regardless. He's in no mood to talk. No mood to stop. No mood to breaks his concentration.

 

"LANDON..."

 

But with Benjamin Hardy on his tail, Maddix has one determined tool to shake off.

 

"LAN..."

 

Giving up, Maddix finally turns around and glares down the hall, allowing Hardy to scurry over to him with his trusty microphone in hand and Gus the much-forgotten camera-man in tow. Trying to cover the fact that he's so unfit that a jog down the hall has left him out of breath, Hardy puts on his best 'interviewer face' and mugs for the camera.

 

"Benjamin Hardy, standing backstage with Landon Maddix who is just minutes away from one of the biggest matches in his career. A rematch with Johnny Dangerous for the SWF Intercontinental Television Championship, which he beat you for mere weeks ago. Can we get your thoughts on..."

 

"My thoughts?" snaps Maddix. "My thoughts right now are that smashing your irritating head through that wall would make me feel a whole lot happier about life, so I suggest you shut your mouth and let me do the talking. Capeesh?"

 

Maddix playfully slaps Hardy across the cheek a couple of times, as he backs nervously away and gives Landon the microphone.

 

"Johnny Dangerous."

 

Now, Maddix turns to the camera and a rare, uncharacteristic fire can be seen in 'The Future's eyes.

 

"This all started out as a gold hunt, just a few months ago. My gold hunt. I came into this company as the last ever SJL World Champion, the last ever SJL European Champion and the most dominant SJL Television Champion for months. I came in, joined up with The Unnamed...everything was going great. Until you came along. You prevented me and Todd Royal from winning the Tag Team Championships. You almost crippled him for life! Then, you denied me a shot at the Cruiserweight Championship. And now, once I recovered and found some gold, here you come again to take it away from me. Now, it's much more than a gold hunt Johnny."

 

Maddix chuckles...but not in amusement like most chuckles. More in anger. In anguish.

 

"I HATE you Dangerous!"

 

Now, anger has totally taken over Maddix's exterior, as he turns his head away from the camera and spits down on the floor at the mere mention of his thoughts for Johnny.

 

"I thought I hated Todd Royal. I feel hatred for Alan Clark. But I KNOW I hate you Johnny Dangerous. I hate you. I hate who you are, what you've done to me and everything you stand for. I hate your 'good buddy' Wildchild too. He's the reason you came after me, right? To get the ICTV Championship for him? Carry on your 'friend's legacy. Weren't such good friends this time last year. Oh yeah, you remember? Ground Zero 2003. You walked to the ring and you SHAT on your 'friend' and everything he stood for. Hell, for such 'good friends' you sure did attack him quite a few times, eh Johnny?"

 

"Bu..."

 

"SHUT UP!"

 

Hardy promptly does so, as Maddix is in full anger mode.

 

"See, that's the thing Johnny. This whole 'I'm doing this for Wildchild' stuff you feed these fans...it's BULLSHIT! You're in it for one person and one person only and that's yourself! You couldn't give a damn about anyone, could you Johnny? Hell, at least HVT was honest about trying to ruin my career when he beat the crap out of me! You however play the nice guy, get the fans behind you...and all the while, in the background you're trying to stopping me becoming somebody. Well let me tell you something Johnny. It ends...TONIGHT!"

 

Again Maddix feels the need to spit to the side before continuing.

 

"As Marilyn Manson once sung... 'This Is The New Shit'. Which would make you old shit Johnny. That's exactly what I'm gonna treat you like tonight. When tonight is over and the dust has settled on Ground Zero...I'm gonna scrap you off the sole of my boots...

 

 

...and throw you on the trash, where you belong! And then...I'm gonna look down at what's left of you. And for the first time in weeks, I'm gonna..."

 

Landon forces himself to grin slightly...a grin which soon changes into another uncharacteristically angry laugh.

 

"...smile. I'm gonna smile at what I've done. I'm gonna hold my ICTV Championship in the air, and I'm gonna smile at doing what you and Wildchild did to my Almighty Todd months ago. I'm gonna take great Maddixfaction...at ruining your career. And then, you can really follow in Wildchild's footsteps...by joining him on the scrapheap!"

 

By now, the smile has gone and the look of anger and focus has returned to Maddix's face as he tosses the microphone at Ben Hardy and strides off. As he does Chris Card, Natasha and Megan Skye walk past too, each giving Hardy a sneering look as they follow Maddix towards the ring. Hardy meanwhile fumbles with the microphone, waiting for everyone to get out of ear-shot before turning back to the camera.

 

 

"...back to you guys at ringside."

 

 

 

And sure enough, we cut back into the arena where Bobby Riley and Cyclone Comet are sitting…the crowd busy with David Blazenwing who’s in ‘control’ of a t-shirt gun, shooting out a number of shirts including those of Coy West, Aecas, Charlie Matthews and a number of other top SWF stars…of February.

 

“It seems Citizen Maddix is not in a good mood tonight.” observes Comet.

 

“Well, of COURSE he isn’t.” Riley snaps in response. “Would you be in a good mood if you were the victim of a robbery?”

 

“…probably not. But then, I’d do something about it because, quite frankly, that’s what I do.”

 

“And that’s what Landon Maddix is gonna do tonight! He’s gonna go all ‘justicey’ and he’ll take back what’s rightfully his. Only, he won’t be doing in dressed up like Superman…”

 

“…I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Citizens…up next, of course, is the contest for the ICTV Championship. Landon Maddix. Johnny Dangerous. Let’s show you how this match came about…”

 

 

 

**************************

 

“A match many months in the making…”

 

Clips of Johnny Dangerous hitting the MI Slam on Maddix on various occasions play, as Cyclone Comet’s voice-over begins.

 

“A battle fueled by personal animosity.”

 

Johnny and Maddix slugging it out, exchanging punches and the like.

 

“A war…for the ICTV Championship…”

 

 

SWF FROM THE FIRE 2003

 

“MI Slam,” barks Comet. “By Zeus, MI Slam over the top! Maddix is back down! Royal is back down! This match is as good as over!” Kivell peers over the edge of the ring to check on Maddix as Johnny walks over to Royal and pulls him to his feet, trapping him in a front facelock as Wildchild gets back up.

 

“There’s no telling what these two have planned here,” warns Comet, as Johnny lifts Todd into a delayed vertical suplex. “They’ve just about used the whole bag of tricks, but who knows if they’ve got something special planned for the House of Todd!” Wildchild steps out onto the ring apron and steadies himself as Johnny turns to face him, still holding Todd overhead, before leaping onto the top rope and springing into the ring wrapping his arms and legs around the suspended Messiah’s body and pushing him off of Johnny’s shoulders…

 

 

 

WHAAAAAM!

 

 

… Planting his head into the canvas with an elevated sitout piledriver! Johnny runs over to his corner and exits to the ring apron as Wildchild holds the motionless Todd Royal in place for the pin:

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

The Staples Center erupts as “Y.O.U.” begins to play again. Wildchild rolls to his feet as Johnny returns to the ring, embracing his partner as the referee walks to the edge of the ring to retrieve the Tag Team Titles.

 

“One could hardly blame Landon Maddix holding a grudge…”

 

Clips of Todd Royal carried out of the arena on a stretcher, as Landon and Megan look on distraught.

 

“…after all, Johnny Dangerous was partly responsible for Todd Royal’s recent neck surgery…”

 

Todd on the operating table…and then Todd afterwards, rehabbing.

 

 

“…but there’s only so much sympathy you can have…”

 

Maddix getting booed…as usual.

 

 

“…for a PUNK!”

 

The tempo of the background music begins to kick in, as various Landon Maddix acts flash past…sneak attacks, cheating his way to victories, slapping opponents…and the like.

 

 

“It would be three months because these men’s paths crossed again…”

 

SWF LOCKDOWN, JUNE 23RD

 

Angered, Lezaire reaches over the top rope and starts to point threateningly at The Toddess. Card steps in-front of her for safety, as Maddix has meanwhile sneaked up to the middle rope, which Ace has no idea of. Finally flipping Card and Megan off, Ace turns and gets booted in the jaw, before Maddix hooks Lezaire by the head...hearing the boos which fill the crowd as he leaps off the middle rope...

 

 

 

 

 

"CRASH LANDON!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Ace's head bounces violently off the canvas from the Crash Landon, as Landon frantically cradles him up as tightly as possible for the pin...

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEE!!!! NEW ICTV CHAMPION!!!

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"YES!" booms Riley. "Landon did it!"

 

In pure ecstacy, Landon releases the cradle and flops to the mat with his fists clenched and held to the skies. Quickly Megan and Natasha enter the ring to congratulate and celebrate, as Card finds the ICTV Title belt and walks towards the rampway with it.

 

"Here is your winner...and... NEEEEEEEWWWWW... SWF ICTV CHAMPION... LAAAAAANDOOOON... "LA CUCARACHA"... MAAAAAAADDIIIIIXXXXX!!!"

 

 

SWF STORM, JULY 2ND

 

“DEATH FROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM ABOVE~!” calls Comet, “and what tremendous balance by the Barracuda to land without having to take a single step to regain it!”

 

“That’s the same damn move he tried against Tom Flesher on Smarkdown,” recalls Bobby. “Only he hit it this time, and now he’s trying to climb out of the cage again.”

 

In the ring Aecas lies perfectly still, the blow seemingly having knocked his lights out. At least Johnny hopes as he climbs up the side ever so carefully. The crowd cheers wholeheartedly and after a bit of a struggle, he makes it over the top of the cage. He carefully, but quickly descends from the top of the cage and hops down, both feet touching the floor. Kivell quickly calls for the bell, and the fans excitedly leap from their seats in celebration.

 

DING DING DING!!!

 

“The winner of this match,” bellows Funyon, over the roaring crowd, “and now… the number one contender to the S-W-F INTERCONTINENTAL-TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP… JOHNNY ‘THE BARRAAAAAAAAACUDA’ DAAAANGEROUUS!!!!”

 

“Now, these two men were on a collision course. Johnny, the challenger…”

 

Clips of Johnny on the offensive against Maddix in various matches.

 

“…and Maddix, the champion.”

 

Clips of Maddix on the offensive.

 

“The roles had changed. The result…was the same…”

 

 

SWF STORM, JULY 17TH

 

Landon charges towards Johnny with a ferocious roar, angered by the attack on his manager, but the Barracuda quickly spins around and sticks Maddix in the gut with the edge of the chair! The Champion doubles over clenching his gut, and Johnny spins around with the chair, smacking it across the back of Maddix’s kneecaps! Landon is floored after having his feet swept out from under him, and all he can do is watch is horror as Johnny brings the chair overhead…

 

CRACK~!

 

…AND SLAMS THE CHAIR ACROSS LANDON’S SKULL, SCATTERING HIS BRAINS ACROSS THE RING!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”

 

 

.....

 

 

 

Then with everything the Barracuda has left in the tank, he vaults into the air, back-flipping forward! Hundreds of flashbulbs explode from the crowd as they move to the edge of their seats, and followed by a thunderous cheer as the Barracuda unfolds over Maddix…

 

 

WHAAAAAAAAAM!!!

 

 

… AND SLAMS INTO LANDON WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS, FLATTENING HIM AGAINST THE CANVAS!!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”

 

 

.....

 

 

“The winner of this match,” bellows Funyon, “and NEEEEEEEEEEEW SMARTMARK WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL-TELEVISION CHAMPIOOOOOOOOOON… JOHNNY ‘THE BAAARRAAAACUDAAAA’ DAAAAAAANGEROUUUS!!!”

 

“Maddix was vengeful…feeling hard-done by. Claiming Johnny had held him back from day one. He was determined to have his revenge…”

 

SWF LOCKDOWN, JULY 21ST

 

“The only way to settle this is with another match,” says Landon. “Nothing else can solve this. Besides, the way I see it… Johnny owes me a rematch for the Intercontinental-Television Championship, and I want it on Smarkdown!”

 

“Why in the hell would I want another match with you, and especially with the title on the line!?” Johnny quizzically replies. “Not only did I beat you in the stipulation that YOU named, but you’ve already proved that you can’t involve yourself in a fair match! You don’t know how to play by the rules, and I’d much rather have a match with someone who does! So incase you haven’t figured it out yet Mr. La Cucaracha, the answer is no. Not so long as I have anything to say about it!”

 

Landon stares almost in shock, but the shock is quickly absorbed by the rage that starts growing inside Maddix. “I guess…you leave me…no…other…choice!”

 

CRACK!

 

Landon suddenly swings the chair out and SMASHES Johnny’s skull with it, leveling the Barracuda to the ground! Hardy bolts from the scene almost immediately, running away like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs!

 

“SECURITY!” he shouts, as he rounds the corner.

 

However, security is nowhere to be found. Landon kneels down over the Barracuda, growling intently. “You listen, and you listen well, Johnny Dangerous.” he hisses. “You are not going to deny me my rematch like you denied me the chance to ever be Cruiserweight Champion! If you don’t defend, I will make your life a living hell!”

 

With that, Landon rises to his feet and spits on the Barracuda’s face. He turns to walk away, but then stops… and turns back around. “One last thing,” he says, starring down at Johnny, who has yet to move since being pasted with the chair. “Chris Card sends his regards.”

 

CRACK!

 

…and Landon swings the chair down into Johnny’s skull for the second time, and splits his wig! Landon peels the chair from Johnny’s face. It oozes with the sticky red blood. A sight that causes Landon to slightly snicker before turning on his heel and walking off, leaving his victim for the scavengers…

 

“But Johnny would have the last word…for now…”

 

SWF SMARKDOWN, JULY 26TH

 

Maddix spins around, absolutely shocked by the arrival of his heated foe. The Barracuda waves, pointing to the bandage from the brutal chair shot Maddix himself delivered on Lockdown. Landon just smirks, wanting Johnny to come meet him in the ring…

 

… But before he can, Lezaire sprints out of the corner, reaching underneath Maddix and hooking his arm between his legs with a School Boy pin! Eddy Long slides over as quickly as possible to make the count, but as he does, focusing on Maddix’s shoulders, Lezaire hopes his feet onto the second rope for added leverage, and for once, the fans cheer his cheating ways!

 

Riley: “What!?! This can’t happen! This just wouldn’t be justice!”

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

Megan Skye stands up on the ring apron, ready to hit the ring and save her man, but Steve drags her back down!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

Johnny simply smiles, as the fans count the last fall…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TTTTHHHHRRREEEEEE!!!!

 

 

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Comet: “With the help of Johnny Dangerous, Lezaire has prevailed over Landon Maddix!”

 

“A personal battle now brews…”

 

The music once more picks up, as various clips of the two men's recent SWF matches flash past...

 

 

CRASH LANDON!

 

 

JOHNNY KICK!

 

 

DRUG OF MADDIXION!

 

 

MI SLAM~!

 

 

SWEET DISCIPLE MUSIC!

 

 

SHOOTING JOHNNY PRESS!

 

 

"One match, One belt..."

 

The ICTV Championship being held in the air, and then by both men in turn.

 

 

"Two men."

 

A staredown between the two...

 

 

"GROUND ZERO!"

 

Suddenly, the staredown between the two explodes...quite literally...as the video package fades out...

 

**************************

[the.weej 0]

...bringing us back into the American Airlines Center and the sight of SWF Ground Zero. The Dallas crowd are already on their feet as the SmarkTron has begun to pick out various sections of the arena, as has become customary at almost every event ever to take place in America and feature a big screen as part of the 'decor'. And sure enough, the amount of "Everythings Bigger In Texas" t-shirt wearers are out in force, as are the 'ironic' "I Shot JR" 45 year olds. After all, we are in Dallas. Yeah? Yeah. But, amongst the throng of Texans in the arena sit two guys who stand out wherever they go, cowboy boots or not. The lycra wearing Cyclone Comet and the...well, who knows what he wears, but it sure isn't normal Bobby Riley. And sure enough, Bobby's made the effort...wearing a powder blue cowboy hat to go with his 'trademark' big event suit.

 

Over them appears the graphic, informing the fans both in the arena and around the world that the ICTV Championship Match is mere moments away. A sour looking Landon Maddix on one side, flanked by Card, Megan and Natasha. And a smiling Johnny Dangerous proudly displaying his ICTV Championship on the other side...separated by a blocky 'VS' and surrounded by various scenes of destroyed buildings and rubble filled ruins.

 

"A personal battle brewing, I'm sure you'll agree." Comet solemnly begins, as Riley grins goofily to the side of him and succeeds in ruining the serious mood Comet is trying to create. "It was just over a week ag...no, no...I'm sorry. I can't do this with you looking like that Robert. What in all that is heroic is that on your head?"

 

...he had to ask.

 

"Howdy, ya'll!"

 

"Oh sweet Jesu..."

 

"What?"

 

"..."

 

"We're in Texas Comet! These hats are all the fashion here."

 

"Since when did fashion dictate how you dress?" sneers Comet.

 

"Says the guy in the Spandex jumpsuit..."

 

Sighing, Comet takes another look at Riley's attire and tries his best not to laugh, settling instead for a disapproving shake of the head and a deep sigh.

 

"Robert...lose the hat. If not for me, then for whatever shred of dignity you have left. You look like you're here for line-dancing, not to call a wrestling match."

 

"Says the guy in the lycra jumpsuit..." Riley repeats moodily, as he takes off the hat. "...are you gonna read that autocue or what?"

 

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean Robe..."

 

"Just read it."

 

 

"...It was just over a week ago that Landon Maddix defended the SWF ICTV Championship against Johnny Dangerous, choosing to do so in a No Gravity Match which gave the edge to challenger. And sure enough, Operative Dangerous came out victorious to delight the fans and his long-time friend Wildchild..."

 

"And former enemy. Let's not forget that."

 

Comet sighs at the interruption. "Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous buried the hatchet months ago, sorted out the mis-understanding...that's all in the past. Now, Johnny is honoring his friend's legacy and doing so superbly."

 

"WHAT!?!" Riley wails. "Defending it superbly!?! Johnny Dangerous hasn't wrestled one single match since winning the damn title belt, and here you are proclaiming him to be doing a 'superb' job? At least Wildchild was a fighting champion whenever he had a belt. Johnny Dangerous on the other hand...hell, it's not just that belt either! He wouldn't give Citizen Maddix a shot at the Cruiserweight Title. He and Wildchild wouldn't give The House Of Todd a fair shot at the Tag Team Titles. And if it wasn't for Commissioner Zenon, Johnny would probably be jaunting off to somewhere in the Far East to avoid defending his title!"

 

"Are you done rambling? Johnny Dangerous has defended the championship, but not on T.V. You know that perfectly well."

 

As the Riley/Comet lovers' tiff continues, suddenly the lights in the arena begin to dim which allows a single white spotlight to fall on the immaculately dressed Funyon. The crowd are still buzzing, partly from the action of the last match and partly from the prospect of the next...so Funyon pauses for a moment, waiting for their noise to die down a little. Eventually it does, so Funyon continues...complete with a graphic to tell the world who he is.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen." he begins. "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, to a finish...and it is for... THE SMARTMARK WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!"

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

With his piece said, Funyon backs away to have a chat with assigned referee Nick Soapdish...

 

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

As suddenly, "Megalomaniac" by Incubus pierces the crowd's growing silence and brings the Texan natives to their feet. They know all too well what this music means and are ready and prepared to boo the oncoming challenger out of the building. Eventually, out through the curtain and past the rusted metal that surrounds the stage bursts Maddix. And must like everytime he's been seen since his loss to Dangerous, the sour look on his face is coupled with body language that just screams 'pissed off'.

 

"Introducing first, the challenger..."

 

As Landon begins to stride down the aisle, Funyon pauses to check who's following. And sure enough, three bodies emerge through the wreckage.

 

"...accompanied to the ring by Natasha, Megan Skye and Chris Card. Standing five foot, ten inches and weighing two hundred and ten pounds. The former SWF ICTV Champion, looking tonight to win the championship for the second time. He is 'The Future' of the SWF. He is LANDON... "LA CUCARACHAAAAAA"... MAAAADDDIIIIIIXXXX!!!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

The crowd let their hatred out for display, booing all four of the hated people making their way down the aisle. Maddix is well ahead of his associates, clearly in a bad mood as he storms towards the ring. And despite the abuse he's getting from the fans, Maddix ignores each and every single 'yee-haw' in the crowd, rolling into the ring. Once there, he motions for Johnny to hurry up and come out...as meanwhile Natasha, Megan and Card are just reaching the end of the aisle themselves.

 

"There is the challenger and, for my money, the underdog going into this match, La..."

 

"Underdog!?!" wails Riley. "How do you figure that one!?!"

 

"Well, firstly, he's in the ring with Operative Dangerous." Comet begins in a matter of fact way. "The veteran of roughly two years of wrestling action with this company and the now defunct Junior League, Dangerous has seen and done a lot in his time here. He has the champion's advantage as far as disqualification and count-out decisions go."

 

"Yeah...which means he can CHEAT again..."

 

"Not to mention Citizen Maddix's big event record. Four Pay Per View appearances, four losses. One Countdown To Genesis match, one loss. The facts are there- Maddix has been incapable of victory on the big stage thus far in his comparatively short career."

 

"Until tonight..."

 

"Very bold...much like your suit."

 

"There's nothing wrong with this suit!" Riley wails again, his dress sense clearly a sore point.

 

"Of course not." sneers Cyclone. "Which is probably why Funyon wore it for so many years. Has he found out you stole it yet?"

 

"..."

 

In the ring, Maddix continues to call for Johnny to 'bring your ass, and my belt to the ring'...with so far, no response.

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

Apart, that is, from the fans who also seem to want Johnny to make his appearance. Hearing the chants, Maddix starts to yell out at the fans, despite the fact that they're actually siding with him. Hey, he's a heel. What did you expect? Of course, the chants continue in spite of Maddix's yelling, building and building...

 

 

...until finally, the lights begin to dim.

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

 

"Would you listen to this crowd Robert?" exclaims Comet. "They have ERUPTED for the Operative!"

 

"What in the hell is an Operative anyway?"

 

 

"Johnny Daaaaaangerous..."

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Again the fans explode into life with a pop that damn-near shakes the American Airlines Center's foundations, as the voice of the mysterious sultry female that has become so familiar to SWF fans cuts through the air. Soon after, "After The Flesh" thunders through the arena, doing little to hush the crowd. Infact, it does quite the opposite...bringing most of the fans out of their seats. Slowly, smoke begins to ooze out from between the piles of wreckage and scrap-metal worthy car remains, as Johnny Dangerous emerges from the back, his figure just visible through the smoke. Maddix sneers at all these from the ring, as eventually Johnny emerges through the smoke, getting yet another booming pop for his troubles.

 

"And the OPPONENT!" Funyon booms over the roaring crowd. "From Las Vegas, Nevada...he stands at six foot one and weighs two hundred and seventeen pounds. He is the reigning, and defending S W F INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAMPION..."

 

Maddix glares over at Funyon, who seems not to notice.

 

"JOOOOOOHHHNNYYYYYYY DAAAAAAAAANGEEERRROUSSSSS!!!"

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Yet again the crowd cheer their lungs off, as on the rampway Johnny reaches underneath his trenchcoat and unbuckles his ICTV Championship belt. Maddix watches on, his face becoming increasingly sour, as Dangerous slowly admires the belt before raising it high in the air.

 

"How dare he raise that title as if it's his property?" snarls Riley.

 

"...it IS his property Robert. He won it, fair and square."

 

"You call using a steel chair fair and square!?!" the still emotional Riley cries. "I tell ya Comet, I hope your superhero council thingy hasn't ordered this Pay Per View, or you'll be out of a job. And a costume! Then who'll look stupid, naked boy?"

 

Continuing to glare down the aisleway, Maddix beckons Dangerous on with a snarling glare. But Johnny pretends to ignore him, tossing the title belt back over his shoulder and tagging hands with some of the fans. Maddix looks less than happy about that. So, of course, Johnny decides to carry on, going all the way around the ring to tag as many hands as possible.

 

"What the hell is this?" Riley complains.

 

"This is called being a good champion." fires back Cyclone. "A champion for the people. A champion who gives these fine Citizens who have paid good money to come to our show their money's worth, by meeting and greeting them."

 

"Comet. These Texan hicks didn't pay two weeks' wage to shake hands with Johnny frickin' Dangerous. They came to see some WRESTLING. And Maddix wants to wrestle. Johnny just wants to play the good guy."

 

"And what's wrong with that?"

 

"It makes me sick, for one." sighs Riley, perhaps longing for a Memphis Eel run-in.

 

Reaching the point he started tagging at, Johnny shakes hands with a guy wearing a 'Wild and Dangerous' shirt, before turning towards the ring. Still, Landon glares down at Johnny disapprovingly and losing patience as he does so. He needn't worry though, as Johnny rolls into the ring moments later. With a smile plastered on his face, Johnny re-adjusts his grip on his title belt so he can show it to Maddix, especially pointing out the nameplate that reads 'JOHNNY DANGEROUS'. That's enough to tip Maddix over the edge, and angrily he strides forward...only to be held back by referee Nick Soapdish.

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

That, and the growing chants that fill the arena air, are beginning to grate on Maddix's nerves and he looks ready to snap. Seeing that, a worried Chris Card jumps to the apron and calls Maddix over. Johnny meanwhile poses with his belt once more, as Card begins to calm Maddix down...or at least attempt to.

 

"If Citizen Maddix hopes to be the ICTV Champion at the end of tonight's proceedings, he MUST keep his temper in check." predicts Comet. "Chris Card will obviously play a big part in that. The mentor-like figure and brains behind this 'operation'."

 

"...are you calling Maddix dumb?"

 

"Certainly not. I'm just saying that his heart, as of late, has been leading his head. Which, against a wily veteran like Johnny Dangerous, is a disadvantage."

 

Still the Card/Maddix consultation goes on, as Johnny steps off the middle ropes and gives a big thumbs up to the crowd. By now, "After The Flesh" has died down and in it's place the buzzing of the crowd leaves a big-match atmosphere hanging over the ring. Suddenly, as if on cue, Johnny's face changes from the happy-go-lucky champ to one of focus and deep concentration. Maddix meanwhile seems to have been calmed down slightly, with Card handing out directions busily despite the fact Soapdish is ordering him to get down off the apron. "Gimme five more minutes" is Card's response, which unsurprisingly gets a resounding no from Soapdish.

 

As this goes on, Johnny coolly removes his shades and trenchcoat...dumping the latter into the hands of a trusty stagehand, before flinging his glasses into the crowd and causing a semi-riot in row eight. Over a pair of glasses. Uh huh.

 

"We're just about ready to go here..." says Comet. "...or, at least Johnny is. It seems this pre-match pep-talk from Citizen Card is taking longer than he had expected."

 

"Hey...ya gotta be prepared Cyclone."

 

"He's had well over a week to prepare."

 

"No, no...JOHNNY has, because he's been busy shirking matches from everyone. Maddix had a match with Ace Lezaire to deal with. And even then, 'goody-two-shoes' Johnny...the 'boy in blue', your good friend had to interfere in the match, costing Maddix a victory. Funny you failed to mention that in your round-up of this feud Comet."

 

"Must have slipped my mind."

 

Finally, Card has said enough and retreats from his charge...giving him a pat on the back, before walking down the steps with Soapdish still on his case. But with that problem out of the way, Soapdish can now check first Maddix and then Johnny for any concealed weapons. He finds none on either man, so takes the ICTV Championship from Johnny, holding it high in the air for all to see...Maddix in particular looking up longingly at the belt.

 

"And there is the prize." observes Cyclone. "The current champion and the former champion, one on one. No gimmicks. No props. Just a straight up, one on one, man to man battle. The simplest form of combat...two men enter the ring, and one man leaves a champion."

 

"Yeah, that's great. But you know what'd make it better?"

 

"What?"

 

"A big pile of LIGHT-TUBES and some flabby, overweight Sudanese jabbing people with forks!"

 

"...sarcasm?"

 

"Yep."

 

Soapdish lowers the belt, passing it to the outside as Johnny looks over to his challenger and mouths that the belt is his...only for Maddix to disagree, making a belt shaped motion around his waist.

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

The bell finally rings, bringing about a cheer from the crowd once more. Hearing the bell, Johnny drops to a more readied position, near-crouching as he moves forward. Landon meanwhile moves out of corner too, but he leaves his guard down to allow space to trash-talk the champion.

 

"Well, I guess for all of Card's remonstrating, Citizen Maddix isn't going to cool that anger burning inside of him." observes Comet. "And look at him, putting the badmouth on Dangerous! How dis-respectful!"

 

Seeing Maddix's stance, Johnny drops his as he realizes Maddix hasn't come to Ground Zero with the intention of wrestling him. Both men meet in the centre of the ring, with Maddix continuing his verbal assault on the ICTV Champion, while the camera moves in closer to the two. Both men's eyes are snapped open, glaring into each other as Soapdish watches on trying to decide what to do.

 

"Come on you son of a bitch!" snaps Maddix, as Johnny smiles. "You wanna hit me with a chair!?! Huh!?! You wanna steal my title..."

 

*SMACK!*

 

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Suddenly, Maddix lunges forward, slapping the taste out of the champion's mouth to a gasp from the crowd. A gasp with little worry though. More sarcasm...as they know what's coming...

 

 

...and sure enough, the suddenly fired-up Dangerous shakes off the slap and comes at Maddix with a flurry of right hands! The crowd are suddenly out of their seats, as Dangerous rocks the challenger with the punches! Soon enough, Maddix finds himself backed against the ropes with no let up from Johnny, keeping the punches going.

 

"Look at Johnny go!" booms Comet. "What an offensive ERUPTION!"

 

"Those are closed fists Comet, which is illegal!" Riley whines in response. "At least Maddix had the courtesy open up his hand before hitting Dangerous!"

 

Eventually Johnny does pull back...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!!"

 

...only to send his right arm flying back across Maddix's chest, with a hard knifedge chop. Maddix shouts in pain and goes to clutch his chest. But Johnny takes the arms of Maddix, throwing them back over the ropes before reeling back a second time...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!!"

 

...and unleashing a second chop. Again, Maddix grits his teeth as he tries to block out the pain...only to take a knee to the gut from The Barracuda. With Maddix weakened, Johnny takes a hold of the arm and looks to whip him across the ring, only for Maddix to shift position and pull Johnny forward. The wise champion is able to counter that though, ducking under Landon's arm with a spin and pulling him forwards into a modified short-arm clothesline. To his credit, the challenger pops right back up. But Johnny pops him right back down, with a second clothesline. Up snaps Maddix again, but this times he takes a roundhouse kick which drops him and leaves him laying on the mat.

 

"There's those 'educated feet' of Operative Dangerous." observes Comet.

 

"Please. I don't think ANY of Johnny Dangerous' body is 'educated'."

 

With Maddix down, Johnny slowly walks towards the ropes and does little more than lean into them. As he comes back, Landon finally stirs and gets back up, thinking he's avoided the contact. But Johnny stops himself, and waits. Slowly the challenger turns around, just as Johnny EXPLODES out from the ropes...

 

 

...swinging and missing with a clothesline, as Maddix ducks and charges off the ropes himself. Now Johnny turns, just as Maddix launches into the air for a flying forearm. But Johnny ducks that, causing Maddix to fly harmlessly over his head. Pulling himself back up, frustration is evident on Landon's face and again he charges with reckless abandon. Johnny simply ducks the out-stretched arm again though, this time taking Maddix down with a school-boy roll-up.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

T...

 

Maddix is out quickly, and up to his feet. Johnny has his mojo kicking now though, showing no intentions of letting up as he grabs Maddix in a front facelock.

 

"They do say patience is a virtue." begins Comet. "And it's one, it seems, that Citizen Maddix lacks. His determination to extract revenge from Johnny Dangerous is going to cost him sooner or later. The match is hardly underway, and already Maddix has left himself open for Dangerous on a number of occasions."

 

With his opponent trapped in the facelock, Johnny takes the time to plan out his next move...all the while bringing periodic knees up into the gut of Maddix. The challenger eventually drops to his knees, just as Dangerous takes one arm out of the facelock. The other quickly throws Maddix's arm over and grabs the tights, ready to take Maddix over for a suplex. As he does, Maddix shifts in mid-move and lands on his feet behind Dangerous, quickly smashing him in the back of the head.

 

"Ha! Who needs patience when you've got the agility of Landon Maddix?" sneers Riley.

 

Another blow connects to Dangerous, before Maddix hooks his man up and looks for a side russian legsweep. But as he begins to fall back, Johnny fires an elbow into the jaw at the most inopportune time for Landon, who can't stop himself tumbling to the mat. He also can't bring his right leg back down with him, as Johnny has it hooked...turning Landon over by the limb, and clamping on an ankle lock!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

"ANKLE LOCK!" booms Comet. "It may be over in lightning quick time here!"

 

"No way!"

 

The crowd erupt, as Johnny brings Maddix's ankle up into the air for all to see. Meanwhile, the challenger's three 'amigos' are all frantically willing him towards the ropes. But luckily, Maddix still has enough in him to push onto his hands and roll forwards...

 

 

 

...only for Johnny to hang onto the ankle with pitbull like determination, taking the ankle lock into a grounded variation with the leg barred. Now, Maddix is in real trouble. Dangerous has him on the mat, leg locked and ankle twisted with nowhere to go. Trying to think quickly, Maddix pushes onto his free knee and attempts to roll through again. But that doesn't work, leaving his trapped in the hold.

 

"Those lethal submissions of Johnny Dangerous...and this is obviously the smart tactic. Keep the firecracker Maddix grounded and on the mat, where he is quite frankly out-matched."

 

"Out-matched!?!" snaps Riley. "This young man is a student of Todd Royal...of Chris Card...of John Duran! He knows his way around a wrestling mat!"

 

"He doesn't look too good right now..."

 

Indeed, he looks really bad.

 

*AAARRGHHH!!!*

 

Even worse, as Johnny tightens the twist on the ankle. Wailing in pain, Maddix seems to be incapable of finding an escape and as the seconds tick past, his ankle is being more and more damaged. So it's lucky for him that Dangerous decides to let go of the hold, allowing Maddix to scramble free and out of the ring to where Card and co stand.

 

"See...now that was just plain dumb." sneers Riley. "Why would he let go of the hold?"

 

"I think Johnny was actually trying to re-position...maybe for the Barracuda. But Landon was able to scramble free and will take the repri..."

 

 

*CRAAAAASH!*

 

In his frustration, Maddix lashes out at the steel steps, sending the top half flying from the bottom with a hard kick that does his ankle no favours. Again, Card has to move in and try to calm his man down, as Johnny snickers at Maddix and raises his arms in the air...

 

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

...getting cheered by the crowd, and getting another reaction out of Maddix.

 

"...and the more Maddix's temper builds, the more chances Johnny will have to pick him apart with the submissions." observes Comet. "Temperamant is a big part of submission wrestling."

 

Card continues to struggle to calm Maddix down, getting quite frustrated himself in his man's lack of self-control. Eventually Megan and Natasha come over to offer their advice too...but they needn't bother, as Maddix brushes them all off and rolls into the ring, storming over to Dangerous. The big grin on the champion's face does nothing to calm Maddix down and gives him warrant to shove Johnny in the chest. Johnny smiles to himself...

 

*WHAM!*

 

...before smashing Maddix in the jaw with a shotei! Maddix collapses back into the ropes, as Johnny moves in and takes Landon by the leg and drags him from the ropes. The challenger desperately tries to hang onto the ropes, but Dangerous succeeds in pulling him into the centre of the ring. Johnny starts to fire forearms to the knee quickly. But he leaves himself open...

 

*SMACK!*

 

...for an enziguri, which sends him sprawling forward. Unable to stay upright, Johnny crashes forwards and throat first across the middle rope. Landon meanwhile sees a chance, scrambling forward and dropping his knee onto Johnny's head...and leaving it there, utilising the ropes with a choke.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"BREAK IT MADDIX...

 

 

ONE!"

 

 

"TWO!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"FO..."

 

Maddix removes his knee, not before shooting an angry glance towards Soapdish. In the meantime, Johnny is pulling himself up. But he takes another kick to the back of the head, dis-orientating him further and dropping him throat first over the middle rope.

 

"Here we go Comet." Riley says confidently. "Maddix is slowly beginning to settle himself down, and those striker instincts are turning proceedings in his court."

 

"...leave the long words to me Robert." sighs Comet. "It doesn't suit you. But yes, Maddix is settling in it seems. Johnny will no doubt match him strike for strike though if that's the course of action the challenger chooses."

 

With Johnny across the rope again, Maddix places his knee right back onto Johnny's head for another choke...

 

 

"ONE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"FO..."

 

Maddix breaks on four...and breaks into a run, sprinting past Soapdish and into the ropes. As he comes back, the crowd know what's coming and are ready to respect the athleticism needed to hit the

 

 

6...

 

 

 

 

 

0...

 

 

 

 

 

5...

 

BUT IT'S DUCKED!

 

 

"WHA..."

 

Maddix, Card and Riley let out the same befuddled noise almost in stereo, as Maddix lands on his feet without hitting Dangerous. And that confusion allows Dangerous to dive forward, chopblocking La Cucaracha's right knee from underneath him and sending him crumpling to the canvas!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

"And just like that, Operative Dangerous turns the tide of this match!" beams Comet. "It may not be flashy like a 605, but Dangerous' offense is certainly proving effective!"

 

Maddix clutches his much worked on right knee, and not for the first time in the past few weeks. Like a shark that smells blood, Dangerous dives on top of the limb and turns Maddix onto his back, before standing back up and kicking into the joint! Again Dangerous kicks the knee, causing Landon to yelp in pain. Sensing trouble, Maddix quickly starts to get his elbows moving, trying to push himself away from Johnny's grip...but the ICTV Champion has firm hold of the ankle and promptly pulls Maddix back. Another kick connects, before Johnny lays the leg across the bottom rope and smiles out to the crowd...

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

...who begin to chant his name once more.

 

"Listen to this crowd...firmly behind the Operative."

 

"...what the hell does that mean?"

 

"Efficacious."

 

"..."

 

The chants bring an even broader smile to Dangerous' face, almost causing him to take his eye off the ball. But not quite, as Landon reaches up for Dangerous' leg but receives a kick to the face. Back to the knee goes Dangerous, hitting another kick before re-positioning it on the bottom rope and treading on the ankle...

 

 

...springing off the ropes, and bringing his body weight CRASHING down onto the knee of Maddix, which bends into an eye-wateringly awkward position!

 

*ARRRGGGGGHHHHH!*

 

Maddix grabs his knee, wailing in pain as Johnny calmly stands back up. And just as calmly, he kicks out at the knee one more time as the defenceless challenger yells in pain again. Not one to let up, Johnny grabs Landon's leg back off him...dropping a calculated knee into the thigh and lower knee area, before laying the leg flat on the floor. Onto the ankle goes his right foot, keeping it in place as he slowly flexes up his left knee and drops it into the inside of the challenger's knee.

 

"Again...simple but effective from The Barracuda." enthuses Comet. "A skillful display here from Johnny. He's picked a body part, and is going to work swiftly and efficiently."

 

Getting back up, Johnny backs off as he sees Maddix trying to get back up, giving him the time and space to do so. Using the ropes, Landon does get up and turns around. Johnny is there to meet him though, firing a quick kick to the kneecap. Landon's knee buckles and he drops to it, as Dangerous pulls him quickly up to two feet before scooping him off the mat. With surprising ease, the former Cruiserweight Champion leaves his opponent hanging upside down...with the crowd's noise building and building, as the blood begins to rush to Maddix's head.

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

The chants start up once more, as Dangerous finally brings Landon down with a scoop slam. No sooner has Maddix hit the ground, Dangerous walks off towards the corner...stopping there, and slapping the top turnbuckle as he looks for the crowd's approval...

 

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

 

...which as ever, is only a Johnny smile away.

 

"Dangerous is going up top!" Comet astutely points out. "Breaking from his gameplan for some reason."

 

Quickly Dangerous exits to the apron and scoots to the top rope, his journey made quicker by Chris Card moving towards him looking to distract the ICTV Champion. Johnny wisely ignores him though, getting to the top and launches off the top rope...

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

 

*AAARRGGGGHHHHHHHH!*

 

...bringing BOTH feet down across Maddix's knee with a VILE double-stomp!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd feel the challenger's pain, as he reacts as if his knee has been shattered...which it may very well have been!

 

"Well...maybe he wasn't drifting from his gameplan too much." admits Comet, looking to a silent stony-faced Riley for a comment, but getting none. "...very nice move too."

 

"NICE!?!"

 

Bingo.

 

"NICE MOVE!?!" Riley gestures wildly. "That was horrible! Johnny Dangerous might have left Landon Maddix crippled in the centre of the ring with such a...a...horrible move!"

 

Card shares Riley's feelings on the move, bringing himself up onto his knees on the apron and arguing with referee Soapdish. He doesn't stay long though, as Johnny aims a kick his way...Card only just finding the safety of the floor, before Johnny's boot finds him. Turning back to his opponent, Johnny walks over and boots Landon in the knee again. Desperately Landon tries to scramble away from the ICTV Champion, but again doesn't get far before Johnny grabs him by the ankle and head, pulling him to his feet. Again in desperation, Maddix swings with a right hand, easily ducked by Johnny who drives his fist into Maddix's kidneys to halt any possible momentum. Landon just about stays up, but takes a STINGING kick to the back of the knee that jolts him onto one knee. Johnny follows up with a forearm, before pulling Maddix back up again...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!!"

 

...and chopping him across the chest.

 

"Can this idiot not go five minutes without pandering to these redneck fans!?!" snaps Riley, still not over the double-stomp evidently. "God damn Ric Flair and stupid 'WHOO'ing. You know, Shane Douglas was right about him."

 

"Can we stick to SWF matters, please?" sighs Comet, fearing lawsuits. "After all, this is SWF Ground Zero..."

 

"Yes, we know. The big-ass logo on top of the set kinda gives it away, doesn't it?"

 

With the breath knocked out of him to go with his bad knee, Maddix seems increasingly fragile on a vertical base. A quick kick to the knee from Johnny doesn't help matters either. Grabbing a hold of Maddix's ragged hair, Johnny pulls his man forward and ducks into back suplex position...but bends up 'The Future's right knee before lifting him in the air. Once there, Maddix tries frantically to kick or squirm free, but can't and gets driven down with a kneebreaker!

 

"Now that is a nice move." smiles Comet. "Expert execution, reminiscent of Alan Clark..."

 

"Alan Clark!?!" Riley again wails. "Of ALL the names you could have dropped, you chose Ced's bitch, the resident jobber? Puh-lease!"

 

With no energy left without reaching into his reserve pool, Maddix slumps onto his back. Johnny meanwhile hangs onto the leg and drags Maddix across the ring, placing the foot across the bottom rope again.

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

Hearing the chants, Johnny flashes another nice-guy smile out to the fans...before flashing a not so nice-guy middle finger Chris Card's way, to a big pop! Turning his attentions back to the match, Johnny thrusts his boot into Maddix's gut in a way only an expert martial artist could, before standing on the propped right ankle...

 

 

...before springing off the ropes, into the air and coming back down onto the knee of the increasingly in-pain challenger, bending the knee once more.

 

*ARRRGGGHH!*

 

Maddix wails again, but before the pain even has chance to set into his knee, Johnny has already got the leg in his hands. Another sharp kick connects to the leg, before Johnny places his foot across the thigh. Maddix is unable to do anything to escape, too hurt to react, as Johnny tumbles forward and takes the leg with him...almost pulling it out from the hip, with a Bret Hart inspired move. Now, Maddix's legs face away from the ropes, which is excuse enough for Johnny to grab Landon's leg and spin around, looking for the figure four leglock...

 

...which Maddix blocks with a swift kick in the ass.

 

"Wrong move." says Riley. "Maddix knows that move all too well, considering it was the almighty Todd's signature finisher. Before, that is, Johnny and his immigrant buddy nearly crippled him."

 

Dangerous goes sprawling forward, but keeps his balance and remains on his feet to hit the ropes. As he rebounds, Maddix gingerly drags himself to his feet. But Johnny reacts quickest, clasping his hands together and smashing Maddix over the head with a running double axehandle. Down goes Maddix, as Johnny moves around him and goes back after the knee.

 

Turning Maddix around, Johnny looks to go with what's worked in the past and places the right foot over the bottom rope. Again the crowd cheer Johnny on and again he stops to acknowledge them before springing into the air...

 

 

 

*OOOOF!*

 

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

...but Maddix brings his left leg up into the air, and Johnny comes down across it with legs splayed...leaving the boot eye-wateringly embedded between them!

 

"Oh, by Hermes' genitalia..." weeps Comet. "...to say that may be a turning point would be a gross understatement!"

 

"Ha! Right in the little Operatives!" Riley counters, much happier than Comet obviously. "Hell, forget Operative...Johnny could be Operatic after that move!"

 

Doubling over in pain, Johnny clutches his groin as Maddix brings up his left leg again...and with a swift shove to the ass, Johnny goes tumbling through the ropes and takes a hard spill to the floor! Almost bouncing off the floor, the champ now has crushed 'grapefruits' and a bad back to worry about. Not to mention Chris Card standing over him and laying into him verbally. Wisely Soapdish moves Card away, as in the ring Maddix pulls himself up. Grimacing, the challenger can only just put weight on the limb as he gingerly exits the ring.

 

"MA- DIX SUCKS! MA- DIX SUCKS! MA- DIX SUCKS!"

 

The crowd begin to get right on Landon's case, as he limps over Johnny and punches him in the face.

 

"This is the big test for the challenger now." points out Comet. "He's finally turned the match in his favour, but Johnny has worked on that right knee for a looooong period of time. We'll see what Landon can do now his aerial offense has been limited..."

 

"Landon's no one trick pony Comet." chastises Riley. "He'll just have to break Johnny's nose some other way."

 

"How? He's got a bad leg...a bad neck stemming from Smarkdown, a lack of concentration and patience due to his opponent."

 

"And Johnny has crushed testicles. Do I have to draw a diagram?"

 

"I thought you gave that up."

 

Again, Maddix resorts to the low-risk fist to the face as Johnny continues to favour his nether-regions.

 

"ONE!"

 

But suddenly, Soapdish has begun counting.

 

"TWO!"

 

The fans count along, for no reason other than habit...as Maddix looks into the ring...

 

"THREE!"

 

To see Soapdish, in no mood to play silly-beggars, counting as dramatically as possible.

 

 

"FOUR!"

 

 

"FIVE!"

 

Finally Maddix takes the hint, grabbing a handful of The Barracuda's hair and attempting to drag him to his feet.

 

"SIX!"

 

"C'mon Chris, help him out!" Riley implores.

 

And help he does, grabbing Johnny by the tights and hauling. The crowd boo the blatant help, as Soapdish stops his count to warn Card off...which gives Maddix the time to drag Johnny up, and roll him into the ring. Quickly he follows, making a cover as Soapdish turns and drops...

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

"Still way too early for Johnny Dangerous to be pinned." points out Cyclone.

 

"Yeah...we've still got another hour and a half's air-time to fill yet."

 

Maddix casts a scathing look Soapdish's way before using the ropes to get up once more. Johnny begins to stir too, but a series of left footed stomps soon stop him. Curling into a fetal position, Johnny hopes for a reprieve...but the stomps keep on coming. So eventually, the champ tries to catch Maddix by surprise, shooting out an arm and looking for a takedown...

 

 

"OOOF!"

 

...stopped abruptly with a knee to the spine, driving the air right out of him. Quickly Maddix repeats the knee, before pulling Johnny from the mat to his knees. For the first time in the match, Johnny looks weakened...still feeling the effects of the spill to the floor. Landon looks down on Dangerous, smiling slightly before laying in a stinging right handed shot...and a second...then a third, all in quick succession. Johnny rocks backwards, as Maddix takes him by the hair again and pulls him up.

 

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

The crowd suddenly come to life, chanting the champion's name. But now, Landon could care less and ignores the chants as he pushes Johnny onto the ropes. Johnny's head lays over the top strand, primed and ready for another choke from Maddix.

 

 

"ONE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"FI..."

 

Maddix breaks, taking longer to do so than before though. Johnny staggers off the ropes and turns around, in instincts more than anything...only for Maddix to drop to one knee (his good one) and bury an elbow deep into the champion's gut. With a groan, Johnny doubles over, but is sent flying right back up with a European uppercut.

 

"Now we're seeing it Comet." Riley says confidently. "Johnny Dangerous isn't the only man who can wrestle a 'slow and steady' pace."

 

"No, of course he's not. But the steady pace certainly suits the Operative more than it does the challenger. And it surely must be playing on his mind that he's been FORCED by Johnny to adjust, rather than choosing the game-plan himself."

 

Eventually Johnny hits the buckles, which shoot him right back out of the corner into another elbow to the gut. This time, Landon reaches up and snapmares Johnny over into a seated position. Back up 'scoots' Maddix, as best possible, before rearing back with his right leg...

 

 

...but he stops before impact, thinking better of it...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!"

 

...deciding instead lash a knifedge chop across Johnny's shoulder blades!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!"

 

...and a second one, causing Johnny's back to arch from the stinging pain and leaving a red mark across the area of impact. The look on the ICTV Champion's face finally shows a little pain, teeth gritted to stop himself yelling. Meanwhile, for the first time in weeks, Maddix has his cocky smile back. More than that, the cocky step has returned to his walk...albeit a limp at the moment.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Loud jeers hit the challenger, but he could care less. Strolling back over, Maddix hauls Johnny up and pushes him back into the turnbuckles. Suddenly though, The Barracuda explodes back into life, coming out of the corner and swinging with a big clothesline...only for Maddix to duck it! Johnny quickly stops himself and turns back around, to be grabbed by the arm and irish whipped forwards...

 

*CHINK!*

 

...and HARD, back first into the turnbuckles! This time Johnny doesn't explode out of the corner, able only to stagger out. As he does, Maddix boots him in the gut with all the force his leg can manage, before driving Johnny face-first down with a DDT!

 

"That's one move Maddix doesn't need a good leg to hit!" beams Riley. "And it may be the one move he needs!"

 

The crowd again boo, as Landon rolls Johnny onto his back and makes a cover...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

...but doesn't hook a leg, allowing Johnny a way out.

 

"It seems Maddix is taking control of this match..." admits Comet. "...but his attack is, for the lack of an easier word for you to understand Robert, sporadic. Johnny taking out the leg was great strategy as it takes out about 80% of Landon's offense. But so far, Maddix has not targeted a body part or area...hitting whatever move comes to mind instead."

 

"That's his STYLE!" Riley snaps back in response. "Working a body part for 10 or 20 minutes might work for the Johnny Dangerouses, Danny Williamses and Ace Lezaires of this world...but that's not Landon Maddix's style. And hey, you can't argue with success."

 

"You can't, no. Which is why Johnny is currently the champion..."

 

"No, he's the champion because he's a CHEAT and he knows how to use WEAPONS like CHAIRS on INNOCENT bystanders!"

 

Johnny quickly tries to pull himself up, but only gets to his knees before being shoved back down...and out of the ring, to the floor. Looking to follow, Maddix is stopped by Nick Soapdish. But, of course, it's all part of his plan...as over strolls Chris Card, a want for revenge in his eyes. Dangerous doesn't see Card coming, pulling himself up and mistaking the crowd's warnings for encouragements...

 

*WHAM!*

 

...leaving him wide open for a stiff Card clothesline and a hard 'splat' on the concrete floor!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

The incensed crowd are nearly out of their seats nearest to Card, as he chuckles away and retreats. Meanwhile in the ring, the challenger finally finishes distracting Soapdish...who turns around and sees Johnny down, but has no idea what happened.

 

 

"ONE!"

 

So all he can really do is lay the count on Dangerous.

 

"TWO!"

 

"So much for 'innocent bystander'!" Comet booms, nearly coming out of his seat too. "You'd think Commissioner Zenon would have these SWF referees pre-briefed before Landon Maddix matches, because you KNOW his posse are going to interfere."

 

"Chris Card was provoked. I can't blame him for wanting to lay Johnny out."

 

"Provoked? That was totally uncalled for Robert."

 

"So a chair-shot to the head isn't provocation anymore? I beg to differ Comet, I beg to differ."

 

 

As the announcers bicker away, Maddix has again started to converse with Soapdish, breaking the count. After all, he can't win the title on a count-out. Eventually Soapdish turns back to Johnny though...

 

"ONE!"

 

...and begins his count again.

 

"TWO!"

 

But luckily for Johnny's supporters, the ICTV Champion has just about recovered from the lariat and is using the apron...

 

"THREE!"

 

...to pull himself up. Grabbing the ropes, Johnny reaches the apron and the count stops abruptly. Quickly, Maddix moves in, clubbing Dangerous across the back of the neck. Johnny shakes it off though, and thrusts a shoulder through the top and middle ropes, hitting Maddix hard in the gut. Another blow to the back of Johnny follows...but another shoulder follows moments later. Maddix is left reeling from the shoulder, as Dangerous stands upright and smashes him in the face with a right hand!

 

"These two sworn enemies are resorting to slugging this match out!" observes Comet. "Just when the match nears it's expected fast-pace, the hatred these men have takes over once more."

 

Another right hand connects, courtesy of Dangerous. But now, Maddix swings with one of his own, almost knocking Johnny to the floor! Luckily the champion hangs onto the ropes to stop himself and looks for another punch...

 

 

...but Landon ducks it, and catches the arm. Quickly, Landon hooks his arm under Dangerous' neck, the arm still trapped too, before reaching over the ropes and bringing Dangerous back into the ring with an exploder suplex!!!

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd in the American Airlines Center gasp, respectful of the move despite who executed it. But Landon doesn't wait for any respect. Instead, he turns back to Dangerous and makes a hurried cover...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

"Only a two from the cover...still, the Barracuda has too much fight left in him." predicts Comet.

 

"Yeah, but it's only a matter of time Comet."

 

Now, with his adrenaline rush cut short, Johnny begins to feel the effects of Card's lariat again...holding his sternum as Landon gets back up. Clearly in no mood to wait, Landon looks out to Card and mouths 'That's it!', to applause from his associates. Meanwhile, Johnny begins to pull himself up. Landon walks over and lamps him with a forearm though, staggering Johnny back into the ropes. Grabbing the arm, Maddix pushes Johnny into the ropes, using their spring to assist an irish whip. Back rushes Johnny, straight into a prepared Maddix who flips Johnny around and brings him down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Only trouble is, Maddix thoughtlessly uses the right knee to bring Johnny down on, leaving him clutching the limb.

 

"Damn it...come on Landon. There's plenty of time to worry about your knee...cover him!" Riley yells, getting slightly nervous.

 

It's almost as if Maddix hears Riley, as moments later he shrugs off the knee and covers Johnny, this time hooking the leg...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

But it's not enough.

 

"GAH!" Riley bursts out in frustration. "...that's ok. Plenty of time."

 

"You're sounding pretty nervous Robert..."

 

"Not nervous, no. I just want this match over with as soon as possible, so we can get the world's greatest Cruiserweight out here!"

 

"...sure."

 

Cursing his lapse in concentration, Maddix tries to shake off the pain in his knee again. While he does, Johnny pulls himself back up...only for Maddix to limp over and nail another forearm. This time, Johnny doesn't seem to be as affected by the move. So, Landon follows up with two more in quick succession before winding up, looking for a roaring elbow...

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

...which connects, possibly knocking Johnny's teeth out in the process! Johnny's head and neck snap back and backwards he falls, with the ropes keeping him up. Maddix moves straight in, sending Johnny's head upwards again with a European uppercut. This time, Johnny knows he has to fight back, and does so with a sharp, swift Shotei to the face. The impact drops Maddix to his knees, giving Johnny chance to recover. Or, so it seems. Despite his reaction, the look on Maddix's face isn't total grogginess...infact, he till has the presence of mind to motion towards Megan, who jumps to the apron as if on cue.

 

"Oh, great." sighs Comet. "What the hell is this?"

 

"I think that's what us wrestling 'insiders' would call a 'distraction', Comet..."

 

And sure enough it is...Soapdish starts to order Megan off the apron as Johnny walks forward and into a lowblow from the challenger!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Feeling the eye-watering pain again, Johnny collapses forwards holding his privates as Maddix does his best to hold back a grin.

 

"Well, I think everyone in the arena saw that one coming." Comet snarls.

 

"Except the two people that matter- Johnny and Soapdish." Riley replies in glee.

 

With her work done, Megan drops back to the floor and Soapdish turns around to see Maddix on top of Dangerous, yelling at him to make the count. "Not like THIS!" Comet wails, as Soapdish drops down...

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHOULDERUP!

 

"RRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

"And thankfully, Johnny kicks out!" Comet says, breathing a sigh of relief. "But unfortunately the damage may already have been done."

 

With the grin now gone from his face, Maddix pulls himself up. Noticeably, the limp has almost gone from his walk. Determined not to give up, Johnny tries to haul himself up, getting onto all-fours before Maddix springs forward, taking Johnny over with an Oklahoma roll...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUTAGAIN!

 

This time, Maddix looks a little peeved...but a look of encouragement from Card brings a smile to his face again. Pulling himself up, Maddix backs into one corner of the ring and encourages Johnny up...almost feeling the ICTV Championship in his hand, almost seeing it inches away from his touch.

 

STOMP!

 

"YES!"

 

 

STOMP!

 

"He's tuning up the choir!" gushes Riley. "And it may just be time Comet! It may just be time..."

 

 

STOMP!

 

"...for some Sweet Disciple Music!"

 

Slowly Johnny reaches his feet, using the ropes to assist him.

 

STOMP!

 

Still his groin is aching like a crack-whore working overtime.

 

STOMP!

 

But he's up...

STOMP!

STOMP!

 

Finally Maddix charges out of the corner, swinging out his right leg...

 

 

 

 

 

...WHICH GETS CAUGHT!

 

"RRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd positively ERUPT, as Johnny catches the foot and pulls it from underneath Maddix. The challenger crashes face-first to the mat, but that's the least of his problems as Johnny still has hold of him by the ankle and locks in the ankle lock one more time!

 

 

"ANKLE LOCK!" Comet again erupts. "He's got it again Robert!"

 

"...wha...Chris!?!"

 

Card looks as worried as Riley now, as Maddix wails out in pain almost instantly. The fans have risen to their feet, sensing Johnny has things going completely his way. Soapdish is right down by Maddix, asking him if he gives up. Amongst all the chaos around the ring both from the crowd and Maddix's amigos, Landon pushes up onto his left foot. Despite the fact his opponent is now standing, Johnny keeps in the ankle lock. Maddix is meanwhile still trying to hold on, trying to hold out from tapping...

 

"TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!"

 

 

...but just as the chants begin to build, Maddix flips forward and rolls, taking Johnny over with him and wrapping him up in an ugly looking pinning combination...

 

 

"COUNTER!" gasps Riley, as Soapdish re-adjusts his position...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

The crowd breath a collective sigh of relief, as Maddix's face etches in frustration. Quickly both men untangle themselves from the other, pulling themselves to their feet. But it's Maddix who reacts first, springing off of his one good foot and almost clotheslining Johnny's head off!

 

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Johnny is now down and looking up at the lights. Maddix too is on the mat, favouring his ankle...as meanwhile on the outside, his cohorts finally get the chance to catch their breath.

 

 

"Oh my!" is all Comet can muster. "...this match, fought so far at a methodical pace, suddenly BURST into life and just as quickly could have ended. Now, Maddix knows he has to do something, because Johnny will not give up. Two lowblows, a Chris Card clothesline...all of Maddix's offense thus far, and still Johnny had enough to clamp on an ankle lock and nearly make Maddix tap."

 

"What are you BLATHERING on about?" snaps Riley, suddenly fired-up like everyone in the arena. "Johnny didn't make Maddix 'nearly tap'. Maddix nearly pinned Johnny. And now Johnny's flat on his ass one more time!"

 

Once again, the action in the ring has settled down and the buzz in the arena is beginning to do the same. Maddix slowly pulls himself up, his right leg and specifically his ankle bothering him again. Over towards the champion he limps, looking down at him in disgust. Taking a step back, Maddix looks to be preparing for the Landmark...

 

...but again, his brain comes to the rescue. Deciding not to risk his knee, Maddix settles for dropping an elbow into the chest of the champion. Card smiles on from the outside, looking up to Maddix and telling him to do it again. But Maddix wags his finger at his mentor...before pointing to the corner.

 

"Aw, no...Landon." Card mumbles, as Maddix sets off towards the corner.

 

 

"Don't tell me Citizen Maddix is thinking of going to the top rope!" exclaims Comet. "That isn't a smart idea with his leg in the state it is!"

 

"Relax Spandex-Pants. He'll be fine."

 

Getting to the corner, Maddix takes a moment to spit towards some of his more vocal detractors in the crowd, before exiting to the apron. Suddenly over rushes Megan, trying to convince Maddix not to go up top. But the challenger is nothing if not determined, and continues towards the top.

 

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

The crowd will Johnny to get up, but he doesn't seem to be moving. Maddix is just about on the top, adjusting his knee-pad slightly for some reason before reaching the top and glaring down at Dangerous. Standing up, just as he did on Storm on more than one occasion, Maddix bends his elbow for all to see. He can feel it. He can feel what he felt on that historic night, 31st March 1996, watching Shawn Michaels go to the top rope...it's almost destiny, as he does the exact same thing, flying through the air...

 

 

...as Johnny begins to stir...

 

 

 

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

...and nailing a 'picture perfect' elbow drop on Dangerous, who just couldn't get out of the way in time!

 

"He hit it!" yells Comet over the booing crowd.

 

"He hit it?" Riley asks, taking his hands away from his eyes. "...HE HIT IT! YES! Of course he hit it."

 

Feeling the rush, Maddix looks down at Dangerous who lays on the canvas clutching his sternum...before turning his head towards the corner again. Card, who has only just got over the relief of Maddix hitting elbow 1, curses as the challenger begins his climb to the top again.

 

"He's going for a second!?!" exclaims Comet again. "I was shocked enough that he could get the elevation he did from one elbow. But two!?!"

 

"Oh ye of little faith." says Riley, while placing his hands back over his eyes.

 

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

Again the crowd are desperate for Johnny to recover, as Maddix reaches the top. Once again, he sets up the elbow as boos fill the air. Megan can hardly watch, Riley still has his hands clasped over his eyes and the flashbulbs begin to go off as Maddix flies through the air...

 

 

 

 

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

...and nails the second 'picture perfect' elbow drop!!!

 

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"Oh, YES!" Riley says with relief. "We're just moments away from a new ICTV Champion!"

 

"Maybe not...Landon's calling for one more!"

 

Card can hardly believe it, as Landon is again looking to go to the top, as if he's becoming addicted to the rush of the elbow-drop. Again, the crowd begin to will Johnny on, but he looks hurt and is busy clutching his chest with his right arm.

 

 

"Ok...this isn't good." Riley begins to stammer. "I hate to sound...seem...to sound unconfident. You know. But, uh...the third one never works."

 

"Does 'oh ye of little faith' ring a bell?"

 

"Yeah, but..."

 

Reaching the top for the third time, Maddix begins to mockingly line up Dangerous' prone body, obviously not sharing everyone else's misgivings. Soapdish begins to count Maddix while he's on the top rope, as if it means something, as the challenger spreads his arms outward and towards the sky, before propelling himself a third time...

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I can't watch..."

 

 

 

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

...and hitting the THIRD elbow drop!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Card, Megan and Natasha all breathe more sighs of relief, as Maddix grins smugly as if the result were never in doubt.

 

"THREE elbow drops!" exclaims Comet. "My word...I hate to be as un-confident as my broadcast partner, but...that's one hell of a series of moves to recover from."

 

Finally, Maddix rolls over, with a lackadaisical cover...facing up towards the sky almost symbolically, and counting along with Soapdish...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OOONEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWWWOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

 

 

 

"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The roof nearly blows off of the American Airlines Center, as the crowd explode with cheers, seeing Johnny Dangerous' shoulder shoot off the canvas at the VERY last second!

 

"BY ZEUS, METHUSELA, JESUS AND AAAALL THE REST!" Comet booms, almost coming out of his seat once more. "HE KICKED OUT!!!

 

In pure disbelief, Maddix's eyes are now as wide as saucers, still looking up towards the ceiling. Almost in disbelief, Maddix turns his head...seeing Soapdish holding two fingers up, seeing Johnny's shoulder thrust high in the air, seeing Megan with her head in her hands...and coming crashing back down to earth.

 

"I..."

 

"Can you believe he kicked out!" Comet gasps, in total shock. "Johnny Dangerous just does not know when to quit! THREE...count them Robert, THREE elbow drops!"

 

"I..."

 

"Johnny Dangerous is clinging onto the SWF ICTV Championship as if it were his only child, determined not to give it up! Especially to a man such as Landon Maddix!"

 

Maddix is total disbelief as he gets up to his knees, cursing his luck and hearing the chants slowly build...

 

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

"I swear." Riley finally manages to sputter. "If he gets up and starts shaking the ropes, then I quit."

Edited August 2, 2004 by realitycheck

[the.weej 0]

Turning to Soapdish, Maddix points at him to get back down from his standing position as he makes another cover, this time hooking the leg...

 

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUTAGAIN!

 

Again Soapdish brandishes two fingers towards Maddix, who gets up gingerly...and starts kicking out at the ropes in his frustration.

 

"Uh oh...he's losing it Comet." mumbles Riley. "...and who can blame him?"

 

"Well, Maddix should have known Johnny Dangerous is renowned for his heart and his never-say-die attitude. Quite frankly, all he's doing is embarrassing himself now."

 

Indeed, it looks like Maddix is one step away from bursting into tears. Behind him, Johnny begins to get to his feet...and Landon sees him. That's enough to break him out of his temper tantrum and turn back to the match, absolutely fuming...almost foaming at the mouth as he encourages Johnny to get to his feet. The ICTV Champion begins to do just that, breathing heavily and still grasping his chest. Slowly he turns around, as Maddix shoots forward...

 

*SMACK!*

 

...nailing Dangerous square in the chest with a superkick, dropping Dangerous like a sack of potatoes.

 

"The Calling Card!" Riley gasps.

 

Suddenly, Chris Card seems a little more confident with proceedings as he encourages Maddix to make the pin. Quickly he does, making sure to hook the leg this time...

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHOULDERUPFROMJOHNNY!!!

 

"RRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Now Maddix really can't believe what's going on. Card too looks in shock, seeing his finisher used and getting only a two count. But Soapdish is adamant of the count being a two, so Maddix rolls out of the ring and kicks the air. Megan walks over and tries to calm Maddix down, offering him a towel...which he rips from her hands and hurls to the floor, deciding instead to take a steel chair from right underneath Funyon!

 

"Maddix has snapped, and if he uses that chair then he'll cost himself the match...and the title!" bellows Comet.

 

Realising that, Card steps in Maddix's way. But 'La Cucaracha' has gone 'mucho loco' and pushes his mentor out of the way, rolling into the ring with the chair wielded and ready to use. Soapdish doesn't quite know what to do, preferring to get the hell out of the way as Maddix wields the chair. Slowly Johnny gets up, dropping right back to his knees and deciding to turn around from there. He doesn't realise there's a chair hanging over his head though...a chair which is set to come crashing down on him...

 

 

 

...until Chris Card grabs the chair!

 

"Oh...thank you, thank you Todd." Riley gasps.

 

Maddix furiously tries to pull the chair from Card's grasp but Card is holding on firmly, determined not to let his man make a big mistake. Trouble is, that leaves Maddix wide open for a punch to the gut from Johnny! Maddix finally lets go of the chair, as Card almost falls off the apron...

 

 

 

...and Johnny SPIKES Maddix on his head with a DDT!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

The crowd erupt, as Johnny makes the cover and Card can only watch on in horror from the apron...

 

 

 

 

 

"ONEEEEEEEEE!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"TWOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO, KICKOUTBYMADDIX!!!

 

"OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd gasp, having gotten ahead of themselves and thinking Johnny had the match won. But Soapdish confirms to the time-keeper's table that Maddix did get the shoulder up, and Card can breathe a sigh of relief.

 

"Oh MY!" Comet gasps. "Johnny Dangerous came within INCHES of retaining his title, and it would have been all down to Chris Card!"

 

"If it wasn't for Card, this match would be over already and Dangerous would be skulking off to the belt with that belt and celebrating the cheapest victory in the history of Pay Per View. And that includes Lewis - Holyfield!"

 

Back up stumbles Johnny, turning around on his heels and SMACKING Card with a punch which sends him tumbling to the apron and down to the floor!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Meanwhile, Maddix is slowly beginning to pull himself up, still dis-orientated from the DDT. As such, he doesn't have the time to turn around before Johnny does. The Barracuda beats him round, and thinks about clotheslining Landon in the back of the head. But that idea is nixed and replaced with a chopblock to the knee, taking Maddix off his feet!

 

"And BACK to the knee goes Dangerous!" Comet exclaims. "And that is where victory may lie. For all of Maddix's offense, he didn't really work a body-part...where as Johnny did, which makes his comeback that bit easier!"

 

"Nonsense! Maddix worked the sternum of the champi...I mean, of Dangerous."

 

"I stand corrected." Comet admits. "But it still may not matter, if Johnny can lock on a suitable submission hold."

 

Despite the chopblock, Maddix is first to get back to his feet. That's only, of course, because Johnny lets him. And as soon as Maddix is back up, Dangerous returns to his feet and lines up the challenger's knee...as if there was a bull’s-eye fixed to it. And aiming for that bull’s-eye, Johnny swings out with a hard kick...

 

 

 

...which Maddix leaps over, landing slightly awkwardly but ignoring the pain and leaping onto the confused Dangerous' back, clamping on the dragon clutch!

 

"LAND OF NOD!" Riley exclaims, knocking over his Pepsi Max in the process of coming out of his seat. "He's got him caught!"

 

"Just like that, the tide may have switched!"

 

Johnny tries to fight free as quickly as possible, but the challenger succeeds in locking his hands and gets the body-scissors on. And from there, it's just a matter of taking Johnny down to the canvas...but, that proves trickier than Maddix would expect. Determined not to drop, The Barracuda begins to feed off the fans...near shaking at the effort he's putting in just to simply stand up. Furiously Maddix wrenches back with the hold, wrenching Johnny's head back...

 

 

 

...and finally taking him off his feet...

 

 

 

 

...but too close to the ropes.

 

 

"YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!"

 

The champion reaches out and grabs the bottom rope, as the crowd cheer in relief.

 

 

"BREAK IT LANDON...HE'S IN THE ROPES..."

 

"ONE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

Maddix continues to pull back with the hold, undaunted by Soapdish's count...

 

"THREE!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"FI..."

 

Finally Maddix breaks the hold, as Johnny takes a moment to get his breath back...before getting it driven back out of him with a hard stomp to the ribs.

 

"A bad break for the challenger..." admits Comet. "...but quite frankly, it wasn't great ring positioning either."

 

Once again cursing his luck, Maddix grabs Johnny and drags him to his feet. But before he knows what's happening, Maddix finds himself switched and pressed back first against the ropes...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!"

 

...and nailed with a chop. Maddix clutches his chest, as Johnny takes a moment to do the same...clearly in pain. But he soon shrugs that off...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!"

 

...to hit a second knifedge.

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!"

 

...and a third! By now, Maddix's chest is turning a deep shade of red, much to the fans' delight and the associates displeasure. Johnny meanwhile shakes off the pain of his chest, sending Maddix forward with an irish whip, which Maddix is somehow able to reverse, pulling Johnny forward. The Barracuda is able to duck a clothesline though, before reaching down and tripping Maddix's legs from underneath him, and flipping him onto his back.

 

"And now, Johnny may look for the submission hold." points out Comet. "But, what does he have in his arsenal?"

 

The answer may be a sharpshooter, which Johnny seems to be looking for. Maddix is frantic, knowing the pain he'll feel if he's trapped in that move and doing everything in his power to avoid it. So Johnny changes tact, pulling Maddix forward by the leg and promptly dropping to the mat, slingshotting Maddix...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...HEADFIRST INTO THE RING-POST!!!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

 

"OH!" Riley gasps.

 

Seriously woozy, Maddix staggers out from the corner and almost flops to the mat. The only thing stopping him is a handful of hair from the champion, who spins Maddix around and hooks him for a vertical suplex. And despite a pause to favour his chest, Johnny is still able to take 'The Future' over, much to the horror of Card and co. As Johnny lands, he's already got his feet in his air, ready to spin through and pull Maddix back up.

 

"Dangerous is looking to execute those three suplexes...the rolling verticals." points out Comet. "And you have to admire Johnny Dangerous, to even have the energy to hit one suplex...let alone three rolling ones...at this stage of the match!"

 

But Johnny is a tough SOB, pulling Maddix up and hitting the second vertical with little trouble.

 

"TWOOOOOOO!"

 

The crowd have suddenly started counting along, as Johnny rolls through again. Suddenly, Chris Card pulls himself up onto the apron and that catches the champ's attention. Angrily he pushes Maddix off and charges at Card. Suddenly, Chris regrets ever getting onto the apron...as he goes flying back off, courtesy of a running forearm!

 

 

"RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Card hits the floor with a 'smack', as Johnny turns around...

 

 

...into a boot to the gut from the half-recovered Maddix and a DDT attempt. However, Johnny is able to grab Maddix's wrist, twisting out of the front facelock and pulling Maddix into a knee to the gut. The challenger doubles over, as Dangerous hooks him up and completes the three verticals, by hook or by crook!

 

"THREEEEEEE!!!"

 

"Three vertical suplexes!" exclaims Comet. "But will it get a better result than Maddix's three elbow drops did earlier?"

 

We'll never know, as Johnny decides not to go for the cover. Instead, he looks down at Maddix and smiles...going for the legs. But Maddix still has enough to push the weakened ICTV Champion away with his legs to block. Johnny hits the ropes, using them to charge back and nail a running elbow drop on the challenger and making a pinfall attempt...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

That's no bother to Johnny. He wasn't really expecting a win of an elbow drop anyway. Slowly he pulls himself to his feet, as Maddix begins to do the same...the crowd clapping now, trying to get behind Johnny but providing great background noise to an epic struggle.

 

"Both of these men have to be physically spent!" gasps Riley, who himself is sweating buckets, doing his nice powder blue suit no favours. "What a battle."

 

"And you have to hand it to Operative Dangerous Robert..."

 

"I don't HAVE to do anything." Riley snaps. "I will admit he's a tough son of a bitch, sure. But there's no way that he'll walk out of Ground Zero still holding the ICTV Championship. No way in hell. I promise you."

 

Both men get back to their feet, but both are indeed physically spent. Sucking it up, Maddix reaches deep into his reserve and charges forward. But Johnny is wise to it, ducking a wild swing from the challenger and hoisting him up into a fireman's carry position! Maddix waves his free hand frantically, as Johnny charges forward, tumbling through the air...

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

...and driving Maddix into the mat, almost through it, with a BIG Spinal Explosion!

 

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd pop for the big move, as Johnny ends up facing the turnbuckles from his roll through. The crowd's cheers ring in his ears, and sure enough, The Barracuda begins to climb to the top, facing out to the crowd.

 

"And now, it's the Operative looking to take a risk! And it may be the Death From Above he risking it all to hit!" Comet observes, sounding out of breath.

 

"Get your tissues ready at home folks. I smell a Titanic moment coming along!"

 

"See, everyone remembers the Titanic for one thing. Or, two, if you watched the movie. You know, people forget that on it's maiden voyage, there were thousands of miles of uneventful and very pleasurable cruising before it...well...hit the iceberg."

 

"Exactly. Johnny's been doing well...and then, KE-RASH... ICEBERG!"

 

Johnny reaches the middle rope...stopping for a moment to motion for some more crowd support, which he instantly gets. Card still looks nervous, and now so do Megan and Natasha. Reaching the top, Dangerous wastes little time in standing up, steadying himself...and moonsaulting into the air...

 

 

 

 

 

...and bringing both feet down...

 

 

 

 

 

...INTO THE MAT!!!

 

"Maddix moved!" yells Riley. "ICEBERG, HO!"

 

Johnny's knee buckles slightly, but he still manages to roll through with the move to avoid serious injury. Meanwhile, Maddix is up and has climbed to the middle rope.

 

"And now, all that's left is to sink the wreckage!"

 

Johnny reaches his feet from the roll through as Maddix begins to position himself. But the champion has time to assess the situation, before charging in and punching Maddix HARD in the gut. Another punch doubles Maddix over on the middle rope, hanging precariously towards a fall to the mat. But before he can fall, Johnny reaches up and pulls Landon off, spinning him around...

 

 

 

"MI SLAM!"

 

 

 

 

NO! Landon escapes over the back, with a reverse front facelock on Johnny! Dangerous frantically reaches out for the ropes, but can't quite reach them, as Maddix whips around and DRIVES Dangerous' head into the canvas with the Landon Eye!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Megan almost jumps out of her provocative black boots, squealing in glee. Riley meanwhile controls his squeals, but does pump his fists and scream "YES! IT'S OVER!" as Dangerous crashes into the canvas. "Maddix just has to make the cover, and we've got a NEW CHAMPION!"

 

Dangerous looks to be out cold...his head hit damn hard. Maddix takes a moment to capitalise though, having re-tweaked his knee in landing.

 

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

But eventually, Maddix manages to turn and drop an arm on Dangerous' lifeless body...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEE

 

 

NEWCHAMPI...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Again, the crowd explode as Johnny kicks out at the very last nanosecond!

 

 

"Todd DAMN IT!" Riley yells, blasting the announce table.

 

"YES! Operative Dangerous is still alive and still the ICTV Champion...at least for the moment!" exclaims Comet. "What a Herculean effort from the champion!"

 

Again, Maddix's eyes snap open in shock as if he's just seen a ghost...obviously assuming he had Johnny beat. But sure enough, Dangerous is still in the match and the crowd are applauding his efforts and his heart.

 

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

"Would you listen to this crowd!" gasps Comet. "These Texans have taken this Las Vegas native into their hearts, and ar..."

 

"Oh, shut up you FREAK!" Riley snaps, at the end of his tether.

 

Right now, Card is contemplating using the chair himself to finish off Dangerous...and if it wasn't for the risk of costing his man the match, he likely would have done already. Meanwhile, 'his man' is finding all the energy he has to drag himself back up. Johnny is still down, having expended his energy just kicking out after the Landon Eye. Maddix reaches his feet first...but promptly collapses back into the ropes through exhaustion. And suddenly, the champion begins to stir.

 

"Both men trying to fight to their feet." observes Comet. "This has been a pure battle for the ICTV Championship."

 

"Certainly." agrees Riley. "I mean, behind the World Title and the Flesherweight Title, this is the most important singles championship in this company. But not just that. These two really do hate each other. Can you imagine what it'll be like for the loser to have to watch the promo show and every show for the next few weeks, hearing the winner brag and brag about his victory. Cause I can. And when Maddix wins, it'll be great to hear it!"

 

Pulling himself off the ropes, Maddix stumbles over to Johnny...and takes a right hand to the ribs. And another And a stiff uppercut, knocking him back into the turnbuckles! Johnny stands back up, much to the crowd delight but not to Card's. Wearily Maddix staggers out of the corner, with a snap jab that rocks Dangerous. But he soon fires back with a punch of his own! Again Landon hits a right hand, but again Johnny fires back with one of his own. Both men's guards are down now...exhaustion and determination taking over both of them. Another weary punch from Landon cracks Johnny in the jaw. But Johnny is the first to break from regime, and kicks out at the right kneecap of the challenger which takes Maddix off his feet!

 

"YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!"

 

The crowd cheer for the sight of Maddix flopping to the mat face-first, with his head bouncing off the canvas. That also gives Johnny chance to shake off the cobwebs and cough out some of the pain in his chest and lungs. Maddix pulls himself up relatively quickly, limping forwards...

 

*SMACK!*

 

...into a Shotei strike, that rocks him to his very core!

 

"And now, this match has become striker versus striker...a battle which the well trained spy is quite unsurprisingly flourishing in."

 

*SMACK!*

 

Another Shotei smashes into Maddix's jaw, snapping his head back violently. Maddix shakes that off though, and says to himself that anything you can do I can do better, shooting out a Shotei of his own...

 

 

 

...big mistake...

 

Johnny blocks the Shotei, pulling Maddix forward and taking him down by the arm, into The Interrogator as the crowd go wild!

 

 

"The Interrogator!" Comet yells over the baying crowd. "The crossface...one of the deadly submission holds in the game! It may not be affecting the weakened leg, but that may not even matter!"

 

"Oh crap!" Riley shrieks, as Maddix starts to wail in pain.

 

"The keys to escaping this move are height, weight and power...three things which Maddix just does not have enough of! His only hope is finding the ropes!"

 

"Or Chris Card!"

 

"Well...yes, that is more likely."

 

Card isn't helping right now though...too stunned at Landon's sudden lack of luck.

 

Johnny meanwhile has the hold executed all but perfectly...the arm trapped and the crossface right across Maddix's nose. Now, the champion pulls back with everything he has. His hurt sternum is bothering him slightly, reducing the angle Johnny can pull back to. But that's no consolation to Maddix, who is positively wailing in pain!

 

 

"TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!"

 

The crowd will Johnny on, and will Maddix into a tap-out, as the challenger's eyes rapidly survey the ring, looking for an escape. The ropes are out of reach and angle though and Johnny is showing no signs of letting up!

 

"TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!"

 

Still the fans encourage Maddix to give it all up. Determined not to let the ICTV Title slip away from him again, Maddix plants his left hand on the mat and pushes upwards. But that doesn't really help, as Johnny simply wrenches back again.

 

"How much longer can Maddix possibly hold on!?!" Comet questions. "This crossface hold is as deadly a submission as you're likely to see. And Operative Dangerous will be content to sit this out, wearing Maddix down until he finally gives up."

 

"You're acting as if Maddix has to quit Comet." sneers Riley, trying his best not to sound worried.

 

"If he doesn't, then what shape will he be in not only for the rest of this match, but for days and weeks to come? Even longer if his shoulder pops out of the socket, which isn't out of the question!"

 

From the wails coming from Maddix's mouth, you'd think that had already happened. But still, the gutsy kid fights on...trying to turn his body back towards the corner behind him, to get to the ropes. Johnny leans all his weight back though, preventing Maddix from going anywhere. Still, that doesn't stop Landon trying. Gritting his teeth, Landon starts to lean towards his free side (the left), forcing Johnny to pull to the right...

 

 

...before quickly pushing himself off towards the right...

 

 

"Smart thinking from the challenger..."

 

 

 

 

...almost rolling through, before Johnny realises what's happening and stops the turn!

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

"...BUT IT WON'T SAVE HIM!" booms Comet as the hold is back in 100%.

 

"Landon's got to keep trying though. Turning out of the hold is unlikely, but it may be his only chance!"

 

 

"TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!"

 

The chants are really building now, as is Maddix's pain. Johnny seems to feel confident now, nodding to himself as he pulls back on the challenger's head, almost sensing the tap coming. Soapdish too assumes the tap is coming, right down in Maddix's face, asking if he's ready to give up. And suddenly, it seems he is, as the hand comes off the mat...

 

 

 

"THIS MAY BE IT!" Comet booms once more.

 

 

...and hovers in the air, with all eyes in the arena locked on it!

 

 

"HEY, REF!"

 

Suddenly Soapdish looks up, the only person in the arena to do so...and sees Maddix's left leg bent to the side, propped on the bottom rope! Quick as a flash, Soapdish springs into life and orders Johnny to break the hold, which he does instantly from his surprise.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"I don't know how he did it, but Maddix found the bottom rope..." gleams Riley. "...and we're still on track for the gold!"

 

"We? Since when did you join Chris Card Enterprises?"

 

Looking at the foot still laid on the bottom rope, Johnny still seems confused...asking Soapdish what the hell happened. Soapdish shrugs and points to the foot.

 

"I think Johnny smells a rat." observes Comet. "And I do too. Citizen Maddix would have to be a contortionist to reach those ropes of his own accord!"

 

Glaring down to ringside, it seems Dangerous suspects foul play...but Card, Megan and Natasha all look on innocently with 'butter wouldn't melt' looks. While this is going on, Maddix starts to pull himself up, favoring his shoulder and neck as well as his knee now.

 

 

Meanwhile, replays of Maddix in the crossface begin to play, with Maddix on the verge of tapping, his hand hovering in the air... "IT WAS MEGAN!" wails Comet, right on cue as we see Maddix's leg hovering in the air and get 'guided' onto the bottom rope by Megan Skye! "It was Megan Skye...and we were right to suspect foul play."

 

"We?"

 

"Meaning myself and Johnny Dangerous. I know better than to expect impartiality from you."

 

Dangerous hasn't seen the replay...but he has his suspicions. And those suspicions are distracting him from Landon Maddix, who is limping up behind Dangerous. The champion is busy arguing with Chris Card, as Maddix makes it over, spinning Johnny around. But Johnny beats Maddix to the punch and sends him staggering back. Somehow Maddix manages to stay on his feet and throws a right of his own...

 

...but Johnny expertly blocks, before firing a hard front chop to the temple of Maddix. The challenger is rocked, as Johnny nails a boot to the gut and looks to hit a DDT. But desperation takes Landon, quickly charging forwards and ramming Dangerous spine-first into the buckles. Johnny weakly hangs onto the front facelock, but soon finds himself heading towards the mat with a small package...

 

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JOHNNY SHIFTS HIS WEIGHT...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUTATTWO!

 

"OOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Johnny slams his fists into the mat as Maddix sets about pulling himself to his feet. Johnny does the same, reaching his feet first. Maddix is up moments later...but falls back to his knees. The challenger looks a physically wreck now. Bad arm, bad knee and a bad neck...not to mention exhaustion. That gives Johnny chance to lunge forward, grabbing 'La Cucaracha' by the hair and pulling him to his feet.

 

"This is gutcheck time now Comet." points out Riley. "Now we're going to see who has the better endurance. Who's got the more reserve energy."

 

"Indeed...both men have endured a considerable amount of punishment. It may be a matter of who can hit that one big move, because that's all it may take right now."

 

With Landon by the hair, Johnny drives a knee into the gut of the challenger, before throwing him forward...face-first into the turnbuckles! Maddix bounces off and falls back into the corner, as Johnny grabs him by the arm and irish whips him across the ring. As Maddix reaches the centre of the ring, Dangerous sets off too, charging in after Landon...

 

 

...who grabs the top rope, pushing himself into the air. Johnny fails to stop himself, as Maddix locks his legs around the ICTV Champion's head. But Johnny is prepared, hiking Landon off the ropes and pulling him into a chest to chest position...waiting for Maddix's head to flop towards the canvas...

 

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

 

...BEFORE TOMBSTONING MADDIX INTO THE MAT!!!

 

"RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd explode with cheers, as Maddix gets spiked on his head and falls limply to the canvas!

 

"Oh NO!" Riley wails.

 

Johnny takes a moment to shake off the cobwebs, before looking out ringside...and wisely pulling Maddix away from the ropes, before cradling him for the pinfall...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"ONEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

 

 

 

Card runs over...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

...and reaches into the ring...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THREEEE...."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

LANDON GETS A SHOULDER UP!!!!!

 

 

"OOHHHHH!" Riley whines as his heart sinks back down from his mouth. "Thank you..."

 

 

Now it's Johnny's turn to stare up at the heavens in despair, as Soapdish confirms to Funyon that it was a two count. Card meanwhile brings himself out of the ring, looking like he needs some artificial respiration.

 

"I cannot believe Citizen Maddix kicked out!" gasps an equally out of breath Comet.

 

"Give credit where credit is due!" Riley beams. "You may not like him...you can call him cocky, conceited or whatever you want Cyclone. But you can't question the kid's heart!"

 

"Certainly. Both of these men have shown great heart, both in the past and here tonight...especially with the ICTV Championship on the line."

 

Johnny climbs to his feet, trying not to let his frustrations get the better of him. The challenger is still down, so over stumbles Johnny...grabbing Maddix by the legs and dragging him towards the center of the ring. As he does, Maddix finally begins to come to his senses. Johnny doesn't notice though, as he raises the legs and steps through looking for a Sharpshooter...

 

 

 

...but Landon plants his feet into the hips of Dangerous, pushing the champion off and sending him crashing across the ring. Dangerous manages to roll through the impact, getting up and walking in towards Maddix who nails a boot to the gut. That doubles over Johnny, as Maddix double underhooks the champion and drops to one knee with a chin crusher!

 

"OOOOOOF!"

 

The crowd chant along, enjoying the chance for a good sing-along, as Maddix stops...feeling the pain in his right knee. But regardless, he hangs onto the double underhook and brings Johnny down again...

 

"OOOOOOF!"

 

...with a second double underhook chin crusher.

 

"Citizen Maddix will look to wear Johnny out with these chin crushers, before driving him to the mat with the Future Shock..." Comet says.

 

But again, the knee is bothering the challenger and he has to stop and let the pain ease off. But while he does, Johnny takes advantage and slips behind Maddix, taking the arm with him. Before Maddix knows what's happening, Johnny locks on a full nelson and lifts Maddix off the mat...

 

 

 

...only for Landon to slip free of Dangerous' grip, avoiding the Dangerous Driver and landing on Dangerous' shoulders. Johnny takes a moment to react...a moment that Landon uses to tumble forward, taking Johnny with him with a victory roll...

 

 

 

ONEEEEEEE!

 

"Counter by the challenger!" gasps Comet. "This may be all!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR...

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUTBYJOHNNY!

 

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

"BUT DANGEROUS KICKS OUT...AGAIN!" booms Comet over the cheering crowd.

 

Again Landon curses to himself, as Johnny gasps for air to feed his oxygen debt. It's Maddix who's up first, bringing Johnny up with him. But that proves a mistake, as Johnny manages to nail a punch to the gut...before going back to the knee with a knee-clip, flipping Maddix into the air! 'The Future' lands up on his back, as Dangerous staggers around...looking out at the Dallas crowd, who are solidly behind him...

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

 

...and start up the now familiar chants.

 

"What a match we are seeing...these men have been fighting for fifteen...possibly twenty minutes." says Comet, without a watch to check. "And all for the gold. The ICTV gold!"

 

Hearing the chants, Johnny stands over Maddix and suddenly starts to feel the adrenaline running through him. Landon meanwhile is feeling nothing pain running through him, and just can't find his way back to his feet. So Johnny helps him, grabbing the challenger by the hair and hauling him to his feet. Weakly Maddix swings with a right hand. But Johnny is already well out of the way, in mid spin as he comes back around with a spinning back fist...

 

*SMACK!*

 

...which connects, knocking Maddix off his feet!

 

"And what a SHOT that was!" Comet praises.

 

"Maddix can't take too many more of those."

 

Impassioned cheers go up from the crowd again...before they see Maddix getting right back up, out of instincts more than anything. Indeed, Landon reaches his feet and stops, unable to do anything. Johnny meanwhile has the adrenaline flowing and backs off the ropes, running back as best possible before firing a running Johnny Kick Maddix's way...

 

 

 

...but Maddix ducks, clearly playing possum as he immediately fires some Sweet Disciple Music at Dangerous...

 

 

 

...only for DANGEROUS to duck, leaving him sprawling forward. Maddix manages to stop himself, turning slowly around and getting clotheslined to the mat! Johnny follows through, running off the ropes as Maddix drags himself to his feet. Back comes Johnny, wiping Landon out with a SECOND big clothesline...but still he runs, as Landon drags himself up, much slower this time. Johnny rebounds as Maddix reaches his knee, but quickly falls back to the mat. Dangerous hurdles the roadblock, carrying on running despite fatigue as Maddix gets back up. Here comes the ICTV Champion again, as Maddix springs into the air. But he doesn't get the spring he would have liked due to his bad knee, allowing Johnny to block the Hurri-Lanrana attempt...

 

 

 

*WHAAAAAM!*

 

...and drill Maddix with an ALMIGHTY powerbomb! Maddix bounces off the mat like a rubber ball, flipping onto his front as Johnny falls right by him with his arm over Landon. Of course, that means nothing as Landon's shoulders are facing upwards...not down on the mat.

 

"Great counter by Dangerous...but a bad break in Landon's landing." sighs Comet.

 

"No, that wasn't a bad break. That's RING SMARTS!" Riley exclaims. "Maddix flipped onto his front to avoid being pinned."

 

"...sure."

 

The bursts of energy leave both men laid out on the mat, with Johnny still on top of Maddix. Soapdish looks on, wondering what to do...

 

 

"ONE!"

 

...and begins to count both men down, as the crowd instantly start screaming to try and wake Dangerous.

 

"TWO!"

 

"We may see a double-countout here." Comet points out. "What a disappointing end that would be to this match."

 

"Damn right...that way, Johnny would retain the title!"

 

"Eh...it wouldn't be ALL bad then."

 

 

"THREE!"

 

Soapdish reaches three, as Johnny's eyes open.

 

"FOUR!"

 

Still the count goes on, as Johnny begins to stir.

 

 

"FIVE!"

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

"SIX!"

 

Finally Johnny reacts, realising where he is. Hooking his arm under Landon's, he flips the challenger slowly onto his back and makes the cover...

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THREEEEEEEEEEE!"

 

 

...NOLANDONGETSTHESHOULDERUP!!!!!

 

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

The crowd gasp, as The Future's arm shoots off the canvas.

 

 

"Will this match ever end?" exclaims Comet, in awe rather than desperation.

 

"I hope so! We've still got Tom Flesher to watch!"

 

Johnny holds his head in his hands, gesturing to Soapdish who shakes his head and brandishes the two fingers once more. Maddix meanwhile is trying to get back up. He doesn't get far before Johnny grabs him, flipping 'The Future' onto his front and grabbing the arm...

 

 

 

 

No! Maddix scrambles free of The Interrogator attempt, rolling across the ring. Slowly both men reach their feet, on opposite sides of the ring. Fatigue hits Maddix though, as he stumbles back into the corner. Johnny meanwhile has enough in the tank to stumble across the ring, meeting Landon with a forearm to the jaw. That rocks the challenger who stumbles forward, gets thrown over Dangerous' shoulder and planted on the top turnbuckle.

 

"Oh no..." mumbles Comet. "...I don't know what Operative Dangerous is planning, but it will NOT be good!"

 

With Maddix stunned, Johnny pulls himself slowly up onto the middle rope with him and hits a right hand...and a second. Maddix fires one back to the chest, but a sharp chop to the Adam’s apple puts out Maddix's fire. Card watches on nervously from underneath the action, shouting advice to his man. But words won't help Maddix now, as Dangerous gingerly steps to the top rope...

 

 

...but Maddix suddenly pushes out, sending Dangerous crashing to the mat. The Champion manages to land on his feet, but his knee buckles underneath him. Giving Maddix time to shake off the cobwebs and launch off the middle rope...

 

 

 

 

 

 

"CRASH LANDON!"

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

 

"YES!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

 

Riley is in dream-land, as are Maddix's allies...and Johnny, but for a whole different reason! Maddix is just about in the real world though, and has enough to hook the leg for the cover...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRREEEEEEEEEEE....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

"What the..."

 

 

"JOHNNY KICKED OUT! BY ZEUS, JOHNNY KICKED OUT OF THE CRASH LANDON!!!"

 

The crowd are on their feet, cheering wildly...as Maddix looks despairingly out to Chris Card, who has his head in his hands.

 

 

"JOHN- EEE! JOHN -EEE! JOHN- EEE!"

 

Eyes locked on Soapdish, Maddix wearily drags himself back up and throws three fingers the ref's way. But Soapdish disagrees and shows Maddix two, causing him to drop to his knees in despair.

 

"What in the hell just happened?" wails Riley.

 

"What an EPIC battle!" booms Comet, ignoring him. "And Johnny Dangerous will not let it end without keeping his ICTV Championship!"

 

Getting back to his feet, Maddix limps across the ring wondering just what in the hell he has to do. Dangerous meanwhile is groggily coming back around...but the damage may have been done. Up he gets, and over he staggers as Maddix lines him up. Suddenly, a surge of energy allows Dangerous to charge at Maddix, arm out-stretched. But Maddix reacts and counters, drop-toe-holding Johnny forward and throat-first into the middle rope!

 

"OOOOOHHHHHHHH!"

 

Dangerous hits the ropes, and bounces out of 605 position...falling to his knees in fatigue as Maddix turns...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...AND HITS A SHINING WIZARD!

 

 

"Oh, mercy mercy! WHAT a shot!" Comet clamours as Johnny slumps onto his back.

 

"He caught him with that one...and usually I'd say this one was over." mutters a worried Riley. "But...even I'm beginning to wonder."

 

 

Having hit the shining wizard, Maddix is once again feeling the effects...his kneecap hurting as much as Johnny's head will, once he's conscious again. But with Card yelling at him to capitalise, Maddix forgets the pain and dives on Dangerous, cradling the legs with all his might...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

 

 

"NEW...

 

 

 

CHAMPION!"

 

 

The air deflates out of the crowd, as finally Soapdish's hand hits the mat for the third and decisive time. Quickly he leaps to his knees, calling for the bell as he wipes the sweat from his brow.

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

 

 

"YES! IT'S OVER!" Riley explodes, in pure relief.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

 

Landon releases the cradle in ecstasy, clasping his fists to his face. Meanwhile, Card rushes around to ringside and grabs the ICTV Championship from the timekeeper's table, rolling into the ring with it as Megan and Natasha begin to enter the ring as well.

 

"What a match..."

 

"And what a NEEEEEEW ICTV Champion!" Riley again exclaims, bashing his fists on the table.

 

Getting to his knees, Maddix still has his fists clasped against his face...the emotion taking over him. But as Megan enters the ring and wraps a hug around him, the hands come down and he wails a 'YEEEESSSSSS!' for all to hear.

 

 

"Ladies and gentlemen...your winner of the match. And... NEEEEEWWWWWW! SWF INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAAAAAAMPIOON... LAAANDOOON "LA CUCARACHAAAA"... MAAAAADDIIIIIIIXXXXX!!!"

 

"BOOOOOOOO!"

 

Some boos fill the air...but quite frankly, so does some applause from the fans, who have seen one hell of a battle. Maddix could care less either way though, as Chris Card extends his hands and presents Maddix with the belt, which he gleefully takes and clutches to his chest. Meanwhile, Johnny is just about conscious...enough to see proceedings going on just metres from him.

 

"Citizens..." Comet begins in as serious a voice as possible. "What you just saw wasn't the greatest technical wrestling match ever. It wasn't 'strong-style'. It wasn't 'pure wrestling'. For you see, it does not NEED any fancy name. This was an EPIC battle...a battle fought between two determined men. A battle fought for many minutes with many twists and turns. And folks...you may just have seen the future of the SWF, right there in that ring."

 

"You know, I don't usually agree with you Cyclone...but both men deserve credit. They left it all in the ring and gave their all...with Johnny impressive in defeat, and Maddix impressive in victory."

 

"Indeed Robert...BOTH men were stars tonight."

 

"Great...now, with that out of the way...WHAT A WIN!!!" Riley finally beams, snapping back into fan-boy mode. "Rejoice Comet, at the feet of our NEW ICTV Champion!"

 

 

In the meantime, Landon has reached his feet with the aid of Chris Card...holding the ICTV Championship proudly in his hands. Johnny too though is up, looking at the celebrations and sighing to himself...knowing just how close he was to retaining his title. Wearily he pulls himself to his feet, stumbling over behind the celebrations, as Landon and co finally turn around...

 

 

 

 

 

...and extending his hand.

 

"YEEAAAAAHHHHH!"

 

A cheer goes up...but mainly, the crowd begin to applaud. Maddix meanwhile can hardly believe his eyes, as Johnny keeps the hand firmly out-stretched.

 

"And what a way to end. Johnny Dangerous...extending his hand to the new champion..."

 

Landon looks at Card, before looking back at Johnny...then Johnny's hand...and back to Johnny...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...and LAUGHING in Johnny's face!!!

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Card, Megan and Natasha join the laughter as Johnny realises what he's dealing with...looking down at the ground as the laughter goes on.

 

"Aww, what a son of a bitch!" snaps Comet.

 

"Hey...what did you expect Comet? What did Johnny expect? And watch your language Spandey...there's kids watching this!"

 

Unable to control his laughter, Maddix says to hell with it and drops to the floor, rolling out of the ring. Megan and Natasha follows as Card makes a point to laugh it up right to Johnny's face, before following.

 

 

"LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!"

 

The crowd make their feelings well known, as Johnny watches The Enterprise swagger up the rampway...Maddix holding his ICTV Championship high in the air as Card helps him to remain on his feet. With Johnny humiliated, Landon finally turns and heads up the aisleway, limping considerably as his entourage follow.

 

"That's sickening." Comet snaps. "Johnny Dangerous extended his hand in sportsmanship to Maddix, who had put in a performance good enough to impress the veteran. Do you realise what that must have took...to even extend his hand to a man like Maddix. And THAT'S the way he's treated!?!"

 

"I still don't know why you're so shocked. Maddix SAID that when he took the title, he'd smile about it. And that's exactly what he did."

 

"Well...I still can't believe the disgusting actions we have seen here. And I apologise for my language, but that kid is nothing but a rotten SOB!"

 

 

As The Enterprise finally leave past all the Ground Zero themed wreckage, "Megalomaniac" screeches to a halt, leaving Dangerous standing in the ring. Looking a dejected figure, he only now un-extends his hand and looks up...

 

 

...to hear clapping.

 

 

*clapclapclapclapclap*

 

Wide-spread clapping.

 

 

 

*clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap*

 

 

And before he knows it, the fans around him are rising to their feet, applauding Dangerous for his efforts and giving him a well deserved standing ovation!

 

"Would you listen to this crowd!?!" Comet says delighted, as he stands and joins in the ovation. "These Dallas fans are showing Johnny Dangerous the respect he deserves! The respect Landon Maddix didn't have the courtesy to show! And it's one hundred percent deserved!"

 

"Bah! He lost. These people, and you, are applauding a loser!"

 

"That man isn't a loser. Tonight, Johnny Dangerous may have lost the ICTV Championship. But he has won the respect, the love and a place in the heart of all of these SWF fans!"

 

"Oh...you've got a witty retort for everything, haven't you?"

 

As the fabled 'Standing O' continues through the arena, Johnny holds a hand up in thanks...trying to choke back tears as the emotion begins to grow on him. Almost everyone in the arena is clapping, from the fans to Funyon, to Soapdish and to Comet. Finally, Johnny drops his hand and briefly applauds back towards the fans, before turning towards the aisle and taking a deep breath before rolling from the ring. Still the clapping continues, as Johnny heads up the ramp and towards the back.

 

"Well...we've seen one hell of a battle here, and a new Intercontinental Television Champion. But there's still...STILL more to come. Will we see new SWF Tag Team Champions next? It's Andrea and The Birdman's opportunity, as they take on the 42nd Street."

 

"...and it's NEXT!" Riley interjects, getting the last word...

 

 

 

...as the scene fades out.

Edited August 2, 2004 by realitycheck

[the.weej 0]

Comet: Weeeeellllllllccccccoooooommmmmmeeee back to GROUND ZERO! Citizens, we’re still live in the sold out American Airlines Center here in Dallas Texas and the show isn’t over yet!

 

Riley: And hey, maybe Ace and Drazon will have made their flights for the show this time Comet. Or this will be an even more boring match that normal.

 

Comet: You’re just not in the Pay Per View spirit are you Robert? After that hectic Mall Brawl, the mystery man, Candace’s mystery opponent, that violent Hardcore Title match. A fantastic USJL Title match from Manson and Max King. And that ICTV Title match just minutes ago.

 

Riley: Well, I enjoyed seeing Much More Maddix and having a Pepsi Max during the break, but I’ll be happy when the main event comes around and Tom Flesher is the World Champion once again.

 

Comet: Tom Flesher has another mountain to climb if he wants to become the World Champion in that match Robert. But right now, we’re about to decide the next contender to the title with a Triple Threat Submissions match.

 

Riley: Two ‘Hardcore Idiots’ that are just gonna send the whole time brawling and poor Ace Lezaire. Still, even being Canadian, the man has skills and I’m backing him all the way to take this one Comet.

 

Comet: I can’t bet on such a thing Robert as it’s not right. But I can assure you all this is going to be one tough match and the winner will have earned their shot at the World Title.

 

Stepping up from ringside, Funyon slowly climbs up into the ring, wearing his usual ultra flash and stylish PPV tux. The crowd perks up, ready to start it’s assault of calls, chants and boos at the wrestlers. Looking around, the crowd is packed with the ever present huge signs for every wrestler on the show. Once sign proclaims “TERRENCE FOR CHAMPION” while another says “TOM FUCKING ALISON! …RIGHT NOW I HAVE THE VIDEO!” along with a horde of ones like “I FLY WITH TEAM FLIP FLOP!” , “I’M H.O.L.T.ING RIGHT NOW!”. Bringing up his house mic, Funyon flicks a quick glance around the crowd and down the huge set of the entrance way before starting his introductions.

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match will be a …… Triple Threat match under Submission rules … for the NUMBER ONE CONTENDERSHIP to the … SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

 

Yyyyyyyyaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Funyon: Introducing firstly, he hails from Vancouver in British Columbia, Canada. He stands at six foot three inches and two hundred and thirty four pounds. Accompanied to the ring by his Personal Camerama Steve, this is … ‘CANADA’S GREATEST HOPE’ … ACE LEZAIRE!

 

Bbbbbbbboooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

The boos lead into a full wave of silence as nothing, as ever, happens for Ace’s entrance. The crowd sits there, waiting for things to kick off so they can start to boo him again……

 

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

 

Your golden lies feed my role

In this forgotten space race under my control

Who's returned from the dead?

Who remains?

 

You know I don't want you

and I never did

I don't want you

and I never will

 

You wanted more than I was worth

And you think I was scared

And you needed proof

Who really cares anymore?

Who restrains?

 

You know I don't love you

and I never did

I don't want you

and I never will

 

Hypermusic pounds out over the PA system as Ace Lezaire steps out through the wreckage that is the set, followed by Steve the Cameraman. Shaking out his hair, Ace pulls it back into a quick pony tail as he strides towards the ring. To huge burst of pyro light up two creators either side of him as he moves on. Stepping up to the ring, Ace bounds up the ring steps and onto the ring apron. Throwing his arms out to the fans, Lezaire looks down and poses for Steve for those special Ace Cam fan videos. Stepping through the ring ropes, Ace scans the crowd for a moment before flexing in a corner and sitting back to wait for his two opponents, letting the last wheels of his plan turn over in his mind.

 

YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!

 

Funyon: And his opponent, also from Vancouver British Columbia in Canada. He stands at six feet and four inches and two hundred and forty three pounds. He is …… ‘THE HARDCORE MANIAC’… JAMIE DRAZON!

 

Rrrrrrrraaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

The arena lights drop out to a hush as the PA system crackles into life once again before Dope Hat kicks up and brings light back to the arena.

 

I peek into the hole I struggle for control

The children love the show but they fail to see the anguish in my

eyes

Fail to see the anguish in my eyes

I scratch around the brim I let my mind give in

The crowd begins to grin but they seem to scream when darkness fills

my eyes

Seem to scream when darkness fills my eyes it's no surprise

Fail to see the tragic turn it into magic

My big top tricks will always make you happy

But we all know the hat is wearing me

My bag is in the hat, it's filled with this and that

My vision's getting fat, the rabbit's just a monkey in disguise

Stars and pills and needles dance before our eyes

They will bite the hand if it is slower than the quickness of their

scrutinizing eyes

Fail to see the tragic, turn it into magic

My big top tricks will always make you happy

But we all know the hat is wearing me

Chicanery will always make you happy

But we all know the hat is wearing me

 

Stepping out from behind a pile of wreckage, Drazon makes his way down towards the ring. Flicking his head from left to right, watching the crowd as he throws off his wifebeater and rolls into the ring. Throwing up his arms to the fans, Jamie shoots a quick look at the so called Canadian Hope before turning back to the fans. Stretching out his body Drazon flexes on the ropes before sitting back to await the last man in this match.

 

WE WANT HARDCORE! WE WANT HARDCORE! WE WANT HARDCORE! WE WANT HARDCORE!

 

Funyon: And finally, their opponent, from Birmingham England. He stands a six feet and four inches and two hundred and fifty two pounds. He is …… ‘THE WHITE NIGHT’ DACE…

 

FFFUUUCCCCKKKKIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!

 

Funyon: NIGHT!

 

Yyyyyyyaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Hero rips into life over the PA with the screams and shredding guitar rifts as shower after shower of pyro lights up from the two creators besides the entrance way.

 

Hoping for a vision think of all the dreams that you have lost

your actions will resound forever in eternity

can anyone listen to your heartrending lament this last time

 

You build castles in the air with an ingratiating smile

The road of the solitary traveller psalmodies and elegies

that had been heard and forgot in the vale of tears

 

Speak of me now lord of the skies

You are the only one who knows

Hero in a world of demons

 

The code of honour follows a course

When all is said and done

Your actions will resound

 

Hoping for a vision think of all the dreams that you have lost

your actions will resound forever in eternity

can anyone listen to your heartrending lament this last time

 

Speak of me now lord of the skies

You are the only one who knows

Hero in a world of demons

 

Racing out through the wreckage, Dace sprints towards the ring and dives under the ropes. Leaping upto the turnbuckle, Night throws the horns up to the fans, looking around the jam packed crowd along with his two opponents. Dropping back to the mat, Dace throws back his head and lets out a roar as he moves to the middle of the ring, ready to start the match off. Referee Nick Soapdish moves between all three men, giving them a quick pat down to check for hidden objects before he starts the match.

 

DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE!

 

Comet: It looks like this match is about to get underway Citizens. So put down that refreshing drink of the people, Pepsi Max, so you can pay attention to this one.

 

Riley: I’ll make a bold prediction and say the guy in the black in gonna win Comet. And that his name will be Ace Lezaire before you say anything.

 

Comet: We’ll have to see about that. Everyone has two opponents to worry about and has to make sure they don’t tap out to the other man. And I’m also sure all three of these man will be pushing the limit due to the fact it’s submissions only to win.

 

Riley: Jesus, someone keep Dace and Drazon away from those weapons. We want a good clean match, not some Hardcore death-fest.

 

DING, DING, DING!

 

Rrrrrrraaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: Let’s rock and roll citizens!

 

Riley: Let’s keep this one cliché free Comet!

 

All three men look from side to side, their eyes twitching as they weight up their opponents. Lezaire makes the first move, swaggering forwards and offering his hands out to either one of his opponents with a cocky grin. Looking at each other for a second, Dace and Drazon nod before spinning around. As one, they send their boots crashing straight into the Prodigy’s testicles with a Double Low Blow that sends him doubling over and almost heaving as Soapdish yells a stern warning at both men about not pushing the rules. Shrugging it off, Horrorcore and the Hardcore Maniac fire Ace off into the ropes and race after him. A pair of boots shoot into the air and crash into Ace’s face with bone crunching force.

 

SMACK! Yyyyyyyyaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: Double Yakuza Kick! Lezaire wanted to show off and he paid for it right there.

 

Riley: They kicked him in the nuts Comet. Both off them! How can that be fair, how can Ace hope to take on two men at once like that?

 

On the outside of the ring, Steve zooms in with the Ace Cam, catching full view off the Canadian Hope being booted in the face and collapsing to the mat before weakly rolling to the ropes in hope of a break. Drazon and Night look each other up and down form a moment before breaking into an assault. Charging forwards, Dace steps inside a Thai Roundhouse Kick and sends his elbow crashing into JD’s jaw. Firing off another two elbows, Dace sends the Hardcore Maniac stumbling backwards before sending his foot flying through the air with a high kick. But JD sees the blow coming and throws up his own leg and kicks Dace’s foot away before landing a counter kick on the Hardcore Goth’s jaw.

 

Rrrrraaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Stumbling backwards and collapsing to his BUTT under the force of the kick, Dace doesn’t have a chance to block the second kick that slams into the side of his head and puts him flat on his back. Looking to end this as fast as he can, Drazon grabs the White Night’s leg and hauls it up, looking to lock on a deadly Hiza-Jujigatame that would end the match right there. Scissoring his legs around Night’s, Jamie goes to twist over to the mat to lock on the deadly submission but Dace franticly kicks out with his free leg and boots Drazon in the ribs.

 

Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

A second kick forces Drazon to break his grip and gives Dace time to back roll on the mat and come up onto his knees and defend himself. Not put off from his plan off attack so easily, Drazon launches himself forwards and full speed and takes a small leap off the mat. Kneeling on one knee and knowing what’s coming, Dace desperately throws his arms up infront on his face, just as he feels the weight of the Hardcore Maniac on his leg…

 

SMACK! Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: Cross Legbreaker blocked but Jamie Drazon goes straight for the Shining Black only for that to be blocked as well.

 

Riley: Well, these two have faced off before when Dace first entered the SWF Comet. Maybe they do have a memory of how tough the other is.

 

Comet: And it looks like Ace Lezaire knows that as well and he almost looks like he’s going to let them fight it out.

 

Leaning against the ring ropes on the apron, having shaken his head clear, the Canadian Hope just stands there and watches the fight between Horrorcore and the Hardcore Maniac. Springing back to his feet after the failed Shining Black, Drazon doesn’t give Dace any time to recover and catches him with a huge flurry of Palm Strike blows before he can get his defences up. Crumbling under the rain of blows to his face, Night is forces to drop to one knee to get his guard up and protect himself but he’s just playing into the plans of the Hardcore Maniac. Slipping his arm around Night’s neck like a snake, Drazon clamps on a Front Facelock and roughly yanks the Hardcore Goth back to his feet like a doll, looking to plant him with a JD DDT. But Dace closes his arms around JD’s waist and snaps his weight back, taking Drazon overhead and into the mat with a Northern Lights Suplex.

 

Yyyyyyyaaaahhhhhhhhh!

 

Trying to match tit for tat and end the match while he can, Dace does a back rolling out of the Northern Lights bridge and ends sitting on Drazon’s chest. Like a hungry vulture, the White Night seizes hold of Drazon’s arm and falls sideways into the deadly Jujigatame. Letting out a yelp of pain like he’d just been shot, Jamie franticly moves not to have his arm hyper extended. Rolling to his side, JD takes the pressure off the hold with expert skill and stands up over Dace as Horrorcore still tries to keep a grasp on the snake like limb. A booted foot lashes out and cracks Night in the temple, finally breaking his grip. Seeing his chance to act, Ace finally makes a move on the apron. Leaping up to the top rope, Lezaire launches his body through the air and drives both feet into Drazon’s head with a Missile Dropkick that sends the Hardcore Maniac crashing to the mat.

 

Bbbbbbbbboooooooooooooooo!

 

Comet: That cowardly Lezaire, leaping into action when his opponents are busy fighting each other.

 

Riley: Cowardly? That’s ring smarts Comet. If I was Lezaire, I wouldn’t want to go and face Dace Night or Jamie Drazon head to head.

 

Comet: Regardless, it’s still not a way to fight. After Drazon counted out of the Jujigatame, just as Dace had countered out of the Hiza-Jujigatame. Those two holds could end a match in seconds.

 

Riley: Hey, don’t you forget that a move like Ace’s Perfection or Vanity could do the same thing. We’ve seen people like the Blackwell brothers use it to great effect Comet.

 

Rolling back to his feet, the Prodigy sees Jamie Drazon struggling back up as hell. Making a quick twist on his heel, Ace drives the sole of his foot into Drazon’s stomach with a Stavat Kick that doubles him over. Making a second full twist, Lezaire shoots his leg out and smacks his foot into Drazon’s face, knocking him down like a bowling pin with a Spinning Back Kick. Turning his attentions to Dace Night, Lezaire watches him slowly climb back to his feet just to rush in and sweep his feet away with an STO that drives straight back down to the mat.

 

ACE SUCKS! STEVE! ACE SUCKS! STEVE! ACE SUCKS! STEVE! ACE SUCKS! STEVE!

 

Ignoring the chant of the crowd, Ace just shoots a cocky grin at Steve and the Ace Cam before rolling Horrorcore onto his back. Standing over the fallen Dace, the Canadian Hope reaches down and locks both of his arms into a Double Chickenwing hold. Feeling the pressure on his shoulders and knowing the submission move Ace had picked up just for this match, Dace had to battle out of another deadly submission hold. Using his weight and strength advantage, Dace bridges up from his knees and throws his weight backwards, toppling Ace backwards and crushing him into the mat. Shaking his arms free and scrambling back to his feet, Horrorcore pulls up the stunned Canadian and drills a series of Elbow Smashes into his face as hard as he can. Twisting around, Dace sends Lezaire flying across the ring with an Irish Whip.

 

Comet: Dace blocks the Perfection or Vanity and this match isn’t going to be over that easily. No matter the deadly moves these three men can break out on each other.

 

Riley: I still say Ace is gonna take this. He’s got the looks and the skills and he’s got the brains. Unlike Drazon or Dace……

 

Almost running into Jamie as he slowly picks himself, Lezaire has to slam onto the breaks like he just walked into a Tranny Bar and spots himself short. With just enough room to send his boot lashing out and connects with JD’s mid section. Quickly twisting around, Ace wraps his arms around Drazon’s neck for an Ace Crusher but the Hardcore Canadian gives him a firm shove in the back that sends him flying back across the ring from whence he came. Seeing the helplessly pinballed Ace Lezaire flying across the ring, Dace launches his whole bodyweight forwards and spins around, sending his elbow lashing out for a knock out strike. Self preservation instincts give Lezaire a chemical kick to duck under the swinging elbow and scramble to get some control. Dace twists again in rage, looking for Ace but only finds a boot into his gut. Ace turns again and locks his arms around Night’s head, dropping back and crushing his throat with an Ace Crusher.

 

Riley: Ace Crusher! That’s it Ace, take them all out!

 

Bbbbbbbbbooooooooooooooooo!

 

Not stopping to gloat, Ace has to make another life saving dodge as Drazon tries to kick all his teeth out with a Yakuza Kick. Hoping for better luck the second time around, Lezaire spins his fellow Canadian around and kicks him again and again twists around to deliver the Ace Crusher. But this time the Hardcore Maniac is waiting for him and pissed off enough to want to choke out the Prodigy like a bitch. Clamping one arm around Ace’s throat and the other trapping his arm in a Half Nelson, locking on a Katahjime. Lezaire’s eyes go wide as he feels the hold locked on and the sudden fact air is now like sex for a teenage, important but not really available. Channelling another sort of famous Canadian wrestler, Ace breaks out into a run towards the nearest set of turnbuckles, dragging JD along by sheer will. Seeing what the Canadian Hope is trying for, Jamie Drazon just digs his heels into the mat and leans back, turning himself into a anchor that spots Lezaire’s escape plans dead. Feeling things start to go foggy and the chance of a World Title shot slipping away from his fingers, Ace does the something he’s good at. Swinging his leg backwards he jams his foot into Drazon’s balls.

 

BAM! Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

ACE SUCKS! ACE SUCKS! ACE SUCKS! ACE SUCKS! ACE SUCKS!

 

Comet: Low Blow! Lezaire was trapped in the Katahjime and couldn’t find any fair way to escape the hold! Jamie Drazon had this match won.

 

Riley: Fair, you said yourself Comet everyone would be pushing the fact Submissions where the only think that counted in this match. But still, that Ace Crusher means we don’t get bored by Dace Night for a while, good good.

 

Soapdish is the only man left standing in the ring. Dace is still down on the other side of the ring and hardly moving after the Ace Crusher. Ace is trying to suck air back into his lungs after being choked and Drazon his nursing his abused testicles. The crowd starts to stamp their feet and demands that someone gets up to carry on with the match. Slowly, crawling along the mat, Canada’s Greatest Hope reaches the ropes and uses them to haul himself to his unsteady feet. Shoving himself up to his feet slowly, Drazon stumbles forwards to meet Lezaire again. Ace tries to fire off a Spin Kick but the Hardcore Maniac just kicks it out of the air and spins around to deliver a counter kick only to get kicked in the nuts again by Ace. Looking like a proud school yard bully, Ace waves off the stern words of Referee Soapdish as he kicks Drazon in the head again and again. To cap off the assault of kicks, Ace drops to the mat and sweeps Drazon’s legs away with a Drop Toe Hold that sends the Hardcore Canadian crashing down to the mat.

 

Bbbbbbbbooooooooo! GET UP DACE! GET UP DACE! GET UP DACE! GET UP DACE!

 

Crossing Jamie’s legs against each other, Ace jams his feet against the to keep them in place. Reach over Drazon’s back, Ace wraps his arms around Drazon’s head in a Facelock, clinching back the Cross Legged STF as JD grunts in pain. Shifting his weight from side to side, JD tries to roll himself free from the hold as he tells Soapdish where to shove his tap outs. Pain starts to burn all the way down his body but it’s not enough to make the Hardcore Maniac tap out. Ace just clings on like someone riding a bull as does all the damage he can before JD escapes. Across the ring, Horrorcore ever so slowly stars to sit up, rubbing his head and throat as he recovers. Seeing this, Ace tightens up his grip on the Cross Legged STF, vainly hoping for a tap out. Feeling Drazon still wriggling and struggling in the hold, Ace shifts gears and goes for break. Releasing the Front Facelock like a spring catch, Lezaire snakes his arms around into a Double Chickenwing. Before Drazon can react to the change of position, Ace untangles his legs and flips forwards into a bridge.

 

Bbbbbbbbbbooooooooooooo!

 

Comet: Perfection or Vanity! Lezaire just turned the STF into the Cattle Mutilation. This one could be over right now.

 

Riley: Yes, what did I tell you Comet! Dace is still down after the Ace Crusher and now Drazon is going to tap out in the middle of the ring.

 

Gritting his teeth and beating his feet, the Hardcore Maniac tries to dig up the power to bridge himself up and escape the hold or even pull his arms free. Soapdish is leaning right in and asking if he wants to tap out. Ace keeps yelling at Soapdish for him to keep checking. Pushing with everything he’s got, JD tries to break free but he can’t manage it. Feeling his shoulders crack and strain, he sucks in air, almost reach to admit defeat……

 

WHAM! Yyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: Dace breaks up the hold!

 

Riley: Damn it no! Blood Goths and there bloody breaking up match winning holds. Damn them!

 

Canoeing himself into Ace’s legs like a missile breaks up the Prefect or Vanity and saves the match on the moment of Jamie Drazon giving up. His head still a little foggy from the Ace Crusher, Dace tries to desperately drag the match back in his favour. Still holding onto Lezaire’s legs, Horrorcore drags him clear of the Hardcore Maniac. Digging down and tightening up his grip, Dace starts to turn Ace over. Franticly flapping like a fish out of water, the Prodigy twists this and way that, from side to side, trying to keep himself from being rolled over into the Torture Crab. Just digging in his feels, the White Night over powers Ace’s struggling and having turned almost a half circle, leans back into a Torture Crab, digging his knee into the base of the Canadian’s neck with a roar. Seeing the ropes just a few feet infront on him, Ace reaches out and barely grasps onto them. But Soapdish just asks him if he wants to quit as he informs him there’s no rope break. Looking up in shock, Ace can only cry out in burning pain as Dace leans even further back into the crippling Torture Crab. Seeing Ace in danger, Steve uses the near complete lack of rules to do something…

 

Bbbbbbbbooooooooooooooo!

 

……Reaching through the ropes, Steven grabs hold of Ace’s hands and gives him a good yanking, half dragging him through the ropes. The sudden shift sends Dace off balance and leaves him toppling forwards, hardly able to catch himself before hitting the mat. Leaning over the ropes, Soapdish starts to yell at Steve the Cameraman, warning him about not interfering in the match up.

 

YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK!

 

Comet: Look at that, Steve the Cameraman just interfered in the match! The White Night had Canada’s so called Greatest Hope in the Torture Crab and Steve pulled him out of the ring.

 

Riley: Turn about is fairplay Comet. After fall, Dace broke up Ace’s submission just moments ago. And hey, we all know we want to see Ace and Flesher rolling around on the mat for the World Title.

 

Comet: It looks like it’s going to take a few big bombs before we have a hope of seeing the end of this match citizens.

 

Staggering back to his feet and gingerly shaking his arms out, Drazon sees Lezaire and Steve laughing at Dace and Soapdish from the outside of the ring. Now even more pissed off, the Hardcore Maniac breaks into a charge. Running based Dace, he leaps into the air, sailing over the top rope like a human missile and comes crashing out of the sky onto Ace Lezaire and his personal cameraman, wiping them both out.

 

SPLAT! Rrrrraaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

LET’S GO DRAZON! LET’S GO DRAZON! LET’S GO DRAZON! LET’S GO DRAZON!

 

Comet: Huge Suicide Dive from Jamie Drazon takes out both Ace and his personal cameraman. That’s the way to handle things.

 

Riley: Or just to hurt yourself and not be able to win because you’re on the outside.

 

Looking out at the pile off three bodies on the floor, Dace slides under the bottom rope to the outside. Stalking over to the body of JD, Horrorcore hauls up the Hardcore Maniac and launches him off into the steel guard railings. Drazon’s back hits the rails with a clank and he stumbles forwards, clutching at his back as pain races through it. Stepping in, Dace quickly sweep JD off his feet and slams him down onto the thinly padded floor with a Spinebuster. Arching his back with a cry of pain, Drazon tries to roll away but Dace drops down and drives a knee into the small of the Canadian’s back. Grinding his knee into Jamie’s spine, Night tries to soften him up for the Torture Crab. A few feet away, Ace slowly hauls himself up with the aid of the guard rails. Shaking his head out again, Ace looks on to see Dace dropping another knee into Drazon’s back. Running forwards, Ace leaps into the air and throws both his feet out, drilling them into Night’s chest. Using the spring to flip himself over, Ace comes crashing down onto Drazon’s back as he finishes the Dropsault.

 

CLANK! Bbbbbbbbbbbooooooooooo!

 

Dropping backwards into the rails, Dace feels the cold steel biting into his back as Steven slowly starts the Ace Cam filming again, getting a close up shot of the pain. Turning his attention to the still downed Jamie Drazon, the Prodigy stoops down and drags him up from the floor. Wrapping one arm around Drazon’s head and hooking his leg, Ace drives forwards and sends Drazon’s back crashing into the ring apron. Stepping back proudly, Ace allows himself a smug grin before slapping the Hardcore Maniac across the face. Waving his arms to the fans just to draw on their jeering, Ace rolls Drazon back into the ring and follows him in.

 

FUCK YOU ACE! FUCK YOU ACE! FUCK YOU ACE! FUCK YOU ACE! FUCK YOU ACE!

 

Comet: And again Ace just takes him time and picks his spots on the outside as he lets Dace and Drazon battle each other before taking them both out.

 

Riley: Well that’s what they get for ignoring him. Dace was too busy trying to work over Drazon’s back and now it’s just saved Lezaire some time.

 

Soapdish gives Ace a few more stern words about interference and keeping it in the ring. Ace just waves him away and drags Drazon towards the middle of the ring, keeping him away from the ropes. With JD on his stomach, Lezaire stands at his feet, stepping over Jamie’s knees, Lezaire hooks Drazon’s feet around his legs for the start of an Inverted Surfboard. Reaching forwards, the Canadian Hope lands a pair of punches into the ribs of Drazon, trying to loosen his arms up. Grunting at the blow to his kidneys, JD grits his teeth and tries to stop the reflex of his arms slipping back to be tied up. Swearing in frustration, Ace slams his fists into the kidneys of the Hardcore Maniac a second time, and this time JD’s arms reflexively shoot back, allowing Ace Lezaire to grab a hold of them. Leaning his weight backwards until he’s sitting down, Ace hauls Drazon up into an Inverted Surfboard. Releasing one arm, Ace grab Drazon around the head and drags it backwards into an Inverted Facelock, trapping Drazon in an Inverted Surfboard with Dragon Sleeper.

 

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Soapdish leaps in and starts to ask Drazon if he wants to tap out as Ace Lezaire clinches up on the hold as tight as he can, again feeling a World Title shot within his grasp. On the outside of the ring, Dace Night slowly picks himself up from the railings and climbs back into the ring. The Hardcore Canadian franticly throws while back elbows, trying to shake Ace off and break free of the hold as he feels pain racing down his back and fire burning in his lungs. Stepping in behind Ace, looking down at the submission, Dace down behind him and clamps on an Inverted Facelock of his arm and wraps one leg over Lezaire’s ribs, half locking on a Stretch Plum.

 

Yyyyyyaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

 

FUCK HIM UP DACE! FUCK FUCK! FUCK HIM UP DACE! FUCK FUCK! FUCK HIM UP DACE! FUCK FUCK!

 

Soapdish looks up from being told to fuck off by Drazon to see Ace releasing his submission in a gargle of pain. Catching hold of Ace’s now free arm, the White Night leans back and locks on the Stretch Plum in full, twisting from side to side as he torques on Lezaire’s body.

 

Riley: Oh god, look at that! Dace Night just interfered in Ace’s submission again! The man almost had the match won and Dace had to stick his nose in!

 

Comet: Well, he wants a World Title shot as much as Ace or Drazon. And he just pulled Lezaire off of the Hardcore Maniac just to lock him in a Stretch Plum.

 

Riley: Steve do something, help your boy out!

 

Almost trying to split Lezaire open like over ripe fruit, Dace pulls back on the hold, either trying to break something or to chokeout the Canadian. Soapdish moves in and starts to ask Ace is he wants to give up. Struggling to force himself back to his feet, Drazon thumps the mat in an effort to get himself going again. Wriggling and squirming like a snake, the Prodigy looks to slip out of the Stretch Plum anyway he can as he feels the pain shooting up and down his body. Night just leans back with a roar, clamping on the hold even tighter. Seeing Ace on the verge of tapping out, Drazon kicks himself into high gear and bounds forwards, planting one foot into Ace’s chest and leaping up. Shooting his foot out, the Hardcore Maniac drills the sole of his boot into Horrorcore’s fast with a modified Shining Black.

 

WHAM! Rrrrrrrraaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

DRAZON! DRAZON! DRAZON! DRAZON! DRAZON! DRAZON! DRAZON! DRAZON!

 

Comet: Shining Black! Jamie Drazon nails it a second time around, this kick using Ace Lezaire’s body as a launch pad.

 

Riley: Oh that’s brilliant. He saves Ace’s ass and he takes out Dace Night to boot. It’s all good. And now the Canadian Hope is going to win this one.

 

Comet: I think he’ll be more worried about shaking off the effects of that Stretch Plum but then Drazon has to shake off the effects of that Inverted Surfboard and Dragon Sleeper combo.

 

Using the ropes to drag himself up, Drazon takes a second to flip off Steve and the Ace Cam before turning back to the ring. Standing over the coughing and spluttering Ace Lezaire, the Hardcore Maniac reaches down and clamps his hand over the Prodigy’s face in an Iron Claw. Letting out a fresh wail of pain, Ace starts clawing at Drazon’s arm like he’s been attack by a Facehugger from Alien. Leaning all his weight forwards, Jamie tries to crush Ace like a bug, but Ace goes back to his escape plan and for a third time kicks Jamie Drazon in the ballsack.

 

CHING! Bbbbbbbbbbbooooooooooooooooo!

 

Comet: Another god damn low blow from Ace Lezaire!

 

Soapdish starts yelling at Ace, warning him he’s about to be thrown out off the match if he does that again. The Canadian Hope isn’t in any shape to wave Soapdish off this time as he weakly tries to haul himself across to towards the ropes, as Drazon stands doubled over and clutching at his mistreated testicles. But it’s not enough to allow Ace to escape as sheer rage drives the Hardcore Canadian onwards, stumbling over to the crawling Ace and kicking him straight in the face with a Low Roundhouse Kick. Quickly pulling him into a sitting position and holding him up, Drazon opens with a flurry of kicks that snap Lezaire’s head back time after time, causing his eyes to roll back into his skull. Grunting, Drazon reaches down and grabs hold on the Prodigy’s leg with a gleam in his eye, even as Ace vainly clasps onto the nearby bottom rope in a hope of saving himself. Even as he wraps his legs around Ace’s and falls back to the mat in the Hiza-Jujigatame, Drazon can see the Canadian Hope drag himself up with the shifting the weight off his trapped leg and taking the pressure way. But JD has none of the it and kicks his weight back, rolling along the mat and dragging Ace away from the drops and sending him crashing into the mat. Rolling over, JD leans back into the hold and listens to Ace scream!

 

Ooooooooohhhhhhhh…………

 

Rrrrrrrrraaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: Hiza-Jujigatame it’s over!

 

Riley: Nnnnnnnooooooooooo!

 

TAP! TAP! TAP!

 

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

……

 

Bbbbbbbooooooooooooooo!

 

Ace pounds the mat in pain, tapping out, but the bell doesn’t ring. On the ring apron stands Steve the Personal Cameraman, in the midst of a heated argument with Referee Soapdish and distracting him from the in ring action.

 

BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!

 

Comet: And Steve sticks his nose into this match again. Lezaire was tapping out but the referee is distracted.

 

Riley: See, theses someone you can really count on Comet. A true friend.

 

Hearing the cries of the crowd, Drazon releases his deathgrip and leaps to his feet, leaving Ace on the match, clutching his leg and howling in pain. Stalking over to Soapdish and Steve with murder in his eye. Just shoving past Soapdish without a care, JD grabs Steve by the collar and threatens to rip is head off and shit down his neck. Struggling to get free, Steve swings out with the Ace Cam in a panic, cracking the Hardcore Maniac right in the face with it, dropping him to the mat like a brick. Snapping, Soapdish grabs Steve and yells at him that he’s ejected from ringside and promptly yells for a security team to drag him away. As a team out security guards jump of the rails from the crowd and drag Steve from the apron and to the back, Soapdish move to check on JD and if he’s fit to continue the match.

 

Bbbbbbbboooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

FUCK YOU STEVE! FUCK YOU STEVE! FUCK YOU STEVE! FUCK YOU STEVE! FUCK YOU STEVE!

 

Comet: Steve just hit Drazon with the Ace Cam and he’s finally be ejected from ringside!

 

Riley: What, how can Soapdish do that? It’s all legal, only submissions matter here! Damn him. What is Ace meant to do now?

 

Comet: Wrestler fairly, that’s what Robert!

 

The ring is a fresh scene of carnage. Ace Lezaire is still clutching at his stretched leg and almost whimpering in pain from the Hiza-Jujigatame. Dace Night is holding his head and trying to shake it clear after having been drilled by a Shining Black. And Jamie Drazon is clutching at his face, still sweating after being hit with the Ace Cam. Throwing his arms up in disgust, Soapdish moves between all three men, checking that they are fit to continue with the match up and gets the same message from all of them.

 

GET THE FUCK UP! GET THE FUCK UP! GET THE FUCK UP! GET THE FUCK UP! GET THE FUCK UP!

 

STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

 

Feeling like the morning after a stag night, Drazon ever so slowly tries to drag himself up on the ropes, his head pounding like someone drilling up the road right inside of his mind. Carefully shaking it to clear some cobwebs, JD sucks in air while he has the chance to. Ace does the same on the mat as he massages his stretched out knee that still feels like it’s on fire. Rising up on his good leg, Ace hobbles up to both feet slowly, walking like an old man that’s lost his walking stick. The Hardcore Maniac still leans across the ropes, trying to sort his head out as the Canadian Hope goes his best to sneak up behind him. Snaking one arm round around the throat of the Hardcore Maniac and the other trapping an arm in a Chickenwing, Ace grabs Drazon away from the ropes in a Crossface Chickenwin. Not risking falling backwards unless he lands on his leg, Ace tries to choke Drazon out where he stands.

 

LET’S GO DRAZON! LET’S GO DRAZON! LET’S GO DRAZON! LET’S GO DRAZON! LET’S GO DRAZON!

 

Comet: Crossface Chickenwing! Ace is finally wrestler fair in this match and maybe he’ll earn a victory here.

 

Riley: That or Dace Night is going to break this hold up again! Go on Jamie, tap out, you know you want to just go and get wasted really!

 

Sliding in along side the two, Soapdish is again asking Drazon if he wants to give out this time. Grabbing hold of the arm around his throat, Drazon doesn’t even waste the energy to answer the ref as he twists his hips and throws his weight forwards, flipping Ace over his shoulder and down onto the mat with a Judo Shoulder Throw. Keeping hold of Ace’s arm, Jamie yanks him straight back up to his feet and clamps on a Rear Waistlock. Snapping his weight backwards, launching the Canadian Hope through the end like a missile and leaving him to crash down head first onto the mat.

 

CRUNCH! Yyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: Release Dangerous German Suplex! Ace Lezaire looks like he’s done for!

 

Riley: Noooo, not again damn it!

 

His head finally at least half clear, Dace shoves himself up, wobbling slightly as he stands. Across the ring JD slowly rolls back to his feet and cracks his neck again. Looking to finally tie Ace up like a prison bitch without any interference, Drazon sees only a Hardcore Goth racing towards him and full speed with an elbow extended as he spins around……

 

CRACK! Yyyyyyyaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: Rolling Elbow! Dace is finally back up and he just took Drazon out!

 

Riley: Ace, Ace, now would be a good time to get up and stop this one!

 

Rolling over, Horrorcore sits on JD’s chest, pinning his arms down in a top mount. Leaning back, Dace brings a huge Elbow Smash crashing down into the face of the Hardcore Maniac, trying to open it off after being busted by the Ace Cam earlier on. With only his leg free to save himself from a brutal Ground and Pound, Drazon throws up his well trained legs and wraps them around Dace’s arms. Rolling forwards from the mat and dragged Dace down to it like he was countering a pin attempt, Drazon shifts his legs around and tries to clamp on a Hiza-Jujigatame on Horrorcore. Desperately locking his arms around the legs of the Hardcore Maniac, Dace arches up and rolls backwards. As Drazon tries to flex to lock on the hold, his arching gives the White Night the leverage to take him overhead and dump him face first to the mat with a back roll. Making the full roll back to his feet, Dace leans back into the Torture Crab. Jamming his knee into the back of JD’s neck and leaning all his weight onto it. Cranking back on the Torture Crab as hard as he can, Dace lets out a roar as he feels Drazon start to tap out as his spine starts to crack.

 

TAP! TAP! TAP!

 

Yyyyyyyaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: Drazon is tapping out to the Torture Crab! This one is over and he’s heading for the World Title!

 

Riley: No, no he’s NOT!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bbbbbbboooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

FUCK YOU ACE! FUCK YOU ACE! FUCK YOU ACE! FUCK YOU ACE! FUCK YOU ACE!

 

Clutching onto Soapdish like a man begging for his life, Ace Lezaire yells at him franticly, distracting him as JD keeps on tapping out to the Torture Crab. But Dace isn’t leaning go, he just keeps up his grip and lets out another roar as he grinds his knee into Drazon’s skull. Seeing only one solution to his, Ace goes back to the heel 101 playbook and gives Soapdish a good hard shove in the chest. The ref goes stumbling backwards, tripping over Drazon’s arm and crashing into Dace’s back, knocking him out and off of the Hardcore Maniac!

 

Bbbbbbbboooooooooooooooo!

 

Comet: And again Ace Lezaire plays dirty, shoving the referee into Dace Night to break up the submission that had this match won!

 

Riley: What are you talking about Comet. Ace is just making sure the right man wins this match that’s all. He’s making sure he wins it.

 

Hobbling past Soapdish and flipping the ref of as he tries to yell at him, Canada’s Greatest Hope steps over Drazon and kicks Dace in the back of the head with his good leg as he tries to rise. Jamie half curls into a ball and clutches at the back of his neck, free of the pressure but not the pain. His leg still in pain but just about able to take his weight, Ace reaches down for the fallen Dace Night. Hooking one of the Hardcore Goth’s arms in a Chickenwing hold, Ace tries to hook the other arm but Dace sends his into his jaw with a Back Elbow Smash. Rising up to his knees and pushing back up to his feet, Dace cracks home two more Back Elbows, threaten to shatter off Lezaire’s jaw with each one. Wriggling his arm free of the Chickenwing and spins around with a Standing Switch. Clamping his arms in the vicelike Rear Waistlock Night wastes no time in snapping backwards and spiking Ace into the match!

 

CRUNCH! Yyyyyaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: Dangerous German Suplex! The White Night nearly broke Ace’s neck with that one!

 

Riley: Nearly? He shouldn’t be trying to break anyone’s neck Comet, he should be losing to Ace Lezaire right now!

 

DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE!

 

The pain still burning in his neck, Drazon slowly forces himself up from the mat, with nothing left to do. Seeing Ace land on his neck at a brutal angle, Jamie manages a little grin through the pain. Forcing himself to move forwards, JD watches as Night picks himself up from the mat. Ducking his body, Drazon grabs Dace’s nearest arm and leg, pulling Horrorcore across his shoulders. Twisting through the air, Drazon looks to spike the White Night to the mat with a Demolition Dreams. But Horrorcore desperately shifts his weight. Dropping infront of the Hardcore Maniac and hooking his arms on the way down. As soon his feet hit the mat, Dace leaps backwards and spikes JD with a Defenestration!

 

CRRUUNNNCCHHH! Yyyyyyyyyaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: Defenestration! Night countered the Demolition Dreams with the Defenestration and this match looks like it could finally be over!

 

Riley: He’s still got to make Drazon tap out. But it shouldn’t be ending like this. Ace should be winning!

 

As Drazon topples sideways to the mat in a heap, Dace picks himself back up. Grabbing Drazon’s legs and twisting him over, Dace kneels down and leans back. Grinding his knee into the base of Drazon’s neck, Night again traps him in the Torture Crab. Ace is out cold from the Dangerous German and there’s no one else to distract Soapdish this time. Knowing he’s in the middle of the ring, hardly conscious as it is, Jamie Drazon weakly taps the mat as Soapdish watches.

 

TAP! TAP! TAP!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Comet: It’s over! Dace Night makes Jamie Drazon tap out to the Torture Crab and this one is over!

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner and new… NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE SWF WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP … DACE NNNIIIIIGGGGGHHHHTTTTTTT!

 

DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT!

 

Hero rips into life over the PA system once again as the defending chants ring out. Slowly releasing Drazon’s legs and letting his body drop to the mat in a heap, Dace stands, barely and throws the horns up in the air. Staggering over the ropes, Dace leans over and throws his arms out to the cheering fans.

 

Comet: And after all that, Dace Night has his second ever shot at the SWF World Title.

 

Riley: And you know what, it wont to him any good. Tom Flesher beat him in last time. He beat him for the Title shot he has now and after he regains HIS World Title, he’ll beat Dace AGAIN!

 

Comet: We’ll see about that one Robert. We’ve still got a battle for the Tag Team Titles up and then the Main Event.

 

Riley: A Main Event where Tom Flesher is going to defeat Janus and Toxxic to get the World Title back, I’m telling you Comet.

 

Rolling under the ropes, Dace slowly walks around the outside of the ring, high fiving with the fans at ring side. Someone in an Unholy Trinity t shirt olds up an SWF Replica World Title belt. Hugging the fan and holding the replica belt over his shoulder, Dace yells to the camera about coming for the World Title.

 

Comet: Dace Night is the number one contender now to the World Title. And Citizens don’t you move unless it’s to sip that tasty Pepsi Max. But Ground Zero isn’t over yet. Not until we find out the fate of the SWF World Championship.

 

Riley: We’ll be right back folks, after these messages. So you’ll all have time to get on the phone and tell your friends that Tom Flesher is going to be winning back the World Title within the hour ok.

 

Drazon is slowly sitting up and cracking his neck, swearing as he looks out at Dace Night. Ace Lezaire is still out cold and Dace is celebrating while he can.

 

Fade out.

Edited August 2, 2004 by realitycheck

[the.weej 0]

The opening strains of the Diplomats’ "Ground Zero" echo throughout the American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas, as the Smarks Wrestling Federation returns for the penultimate match of its midsummer pay-per-view extravaganza, Ground Zero!

 

The camera zooms around the audience, but finally comes around to ringside, where the spiffily-dressed SWF announce team sits.

 

"Welcome back, citizens!" Cyclone Comet greets, "strap on your helmets if you haven’t already, because we’re in for an EXPLOSIVE remainder of the night! We’ve already seen two titles defended, and we’ve still got two more defenses to go, including the biggest, the two out of three falls triple threat match for the World Heavyweight Championship!"

 

"Explosive is an understatement," Riley adds, "because once Toxxic, Janus, and my unsurprising pick, the superiorly amazing Tom Flesher, are all in the same place, the roof in this arena most certainly will not hold."

 

"But another issue to focus on," Comet shifts, "is the upcoming tag team championship defense! We were metaphorically rocked by the earlier return of one Mike Van Siclen, but completely shocked when he allowed Todd Cortez’s replacement partner, the Masked Man, to defend his tag title yet again!"

 

"See? Van Siclen is a saint," Riley replies, "He’s letting the Sexual Maskosaurus live out his dream. Of course, if they win tonight, Mike will be taking it back, but I’m sure he didn’t want to break the poor little Romanian’s heart."

 

"Whether he takes it back or not," Comet adds, "you can’t argue the fact that 42nd Street has turned the tag team division upside down. Then again, there’s a new, upstart team that may turn the division upside down again, that team being Andrea Montgomery and the Birdman!"

 

"Well, if it’s turned upside down twice, it’s back to normal. But, hey, this flip-flop team won the number one contendership, AND beat the Wayward Sons, so they deserve to be in this match as much as anyone. Personally, I don’t give a rat’s ass either way."

 

"Bobbo, these four do, and they’re going to fight for those titles…RIGHT NOW!"

 

"The following tag team contest," Funyon bellows from inside the ring, "is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the SMARKS WRESTLING FEDERATION TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS OF THE WOOOOOOORLD!" He waits for the initial pop to die down, and then, "now, introducing the participants!"

 

LET’S GET RETARDED IN HERE!

 

The star-studded rap from the Black Eyed Peas causes the Texas fans to ERUPT in a massive wave of cheers. The music continues…and nobody comes out. The Texans begin to grow restless, until something appears through the curtain…

 

"MY GOD!" Comet exclaims, "It’s a giant bird!"

 

Sure enough, a parade-float-sized bird appears, with Andrea Montgomery and the Birdman themselves riding it, waving to the fans in the American Airlines Arena!

 

"…at a combined weight of three-hundred and sixty-two pounds, they are the team of ANDREA MONTGOMERY and the BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRDMAAAAAAAAN!"

 

Of course, the giant bird’s wingspan can’t squeeze in the narrow ramp, so, logically, Andrea presses the ‘elevate’ button, which causes a large mechanical arm to come out of the floor and lift the float up into the air and towards the ringside area! The fans go absolutely nuts, and the tag team loves every second of it. Once the float reaches the ring, Andrea and Birdman leap off, landing safely in the center of the ring, where they pose for the fans. The float is moved back against the ramp, and then it disappears through a hidden door or some nonsense.

 

"It’s going to be hard to follow that up," Riley proclaims.

 

But then again, hard is just the way The Masked Man likes it.

 

"Misirlou" kicks in, rocking and rolling the American Airlines Arena as blue smoke billows out of the entryway, almost looking like an ocean in its thickness and color. It’s an ocean that’s perfect for catching some waves.

 

And catch waves they do, as Mr. Mask and Mr. Cortez shoot out through the curtain, riding surfboards supported by an invisible apparatus! With tag titles around their respective waists, the replacement champions hang ten across the wild blue yonder, as the fans cheer these wacky antics on as well!

 

"…and their opponents! At a total combined weight of four-hundred and sixty-nine pounds, from the street in which their team is named, they are the placeholder Smarks Wrestling Federation TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, Todd Cortez and The Masked Man, FORRRRRRRRRRTY-SSSSSSSECOND STREET!"

 

As the surfboards reach the ringside area, Mask loses his balance, tumbling off the board…and landing safely on the apron. He rolls under the bottom rope and enters the ring, while Cortez keeps steady, jumping off onto the apron himself. He steps between the ropes and, as their opponents respectfully exit the ring, Mask and Cortez climb opposite corners, posing for the wild Texas crowd. Mask removes his jacket, and both remove their tag titles, handing the gold to referee Nick Soapdish.

 

"What amazing entrances!" Comet proclaims, "The production team really went all out for this tag team championship match!"

 

"If my paycheck takes a cut because of this," Riley grumbles, "heads are gonna roll. Heads are gonna FREAKIN’ roll!"

 

As Team Flip-Flop reenters the ring, Soapdish shows the titles to them, then to 42nd Street, and then to the fans, before signaling for the bell to begin the match!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Masked Man and Todd talk strategy, as do the challengers. Todd, knowing the drill from the last defense, preps for a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine who'll start off for 42nd Street, but Masked Man has other ideas...he asks Todd if he wants odds or evens! Todd says even, and the two men have the fans on the edge of their seats, waiting to see who wins the game.

 

"Wanna put some money down on this, Comet?"

 

"Since when are you the Pete Rose of the SWF, Robert?"

 

"Nah, I don't wanna bet on the match...I'm talking about the odds or evens game!"

 

"Robert, you don't need money that bad."

 

"If we keep getting our entrances created by Jerry Bruckheimer I will."

 

Amidst the banter, the Not Necessarily The Champs tighten their hands into fists, and shake them...

 

ONCE!

 

TWICE!

 

THREE TIMES...SHOOT!

 

Masked Man sticks out two fingers...the same as Todd! The total is four, so evens wins, which means Todd Cortez will start the match off for his team. Masked Man steps out to the apron, but as he takes that position, he sees across the ring that Andrea Montgomery will be starting off for her team. Unable to control himself around the ladies, Masked Man takes hold of the tag rope and slaps Cortez on the shoulder, shocking his own partner when he tags into the contest before it even gets off the ground! Masked Man points to Andrea, and Cortez simply raises his hands and retreats to the apron, allowing Mask to kick things off.

 

Masked Man's grin is visible even under his mask, as he struts Ric Flair style towards Andrea, coming up in front of the young lady and bellowing out a "WHOO~!" as Andrea just stares at the eccentric cult favorite. Mask makes the "me and you" gesture to Andrea, who can only roll her eyes at the advances of Sexual Maskosaurus. Masked Man inches closer, sticking his head out towards Andrea and pointing to his cheek, asking for her to lay one on him! Unaffected by his come-ons, Andrea goes to shove Mask away...but finds herself flipping through the air and falling onto her back, courtesy of a hiptoss, as Masked Man suckered her in!

 

"Genius!" Riley exclaims, "I despise the fact that Mask has started sucking up to the fans, but he’s still wrestling smart!"

 

"And that’s how he’ll have to do it to keep the advantage," Comet adds, "I’m all for this fun-loving Maskosaurus, but if he wants to win, he’ll need to wrestle wisely. Same goes for the other team as well."

 

Andrea gets up, but immediately is taken by the arm, as Mask wrenches it and applies a wristlock...only for Andrea to counter with one of her own! Masked Man winces, but quickly counters, going from an arm wrench into a hammerlock, and then pushing Andrea towards the ropes! Montgomery rebounds, catching Mask with his head down, so she baseball slides between his legs, coming up behind him...and then jerking his legs out from under him! Masked Man hits the mat face first, crawling towards the ropes to support him as he gets up off the mat. He pulls himself up, but Andrea stays on the offensive, turning him around and grabbing his arm, propelling him to the far side via an Irish whip. Andrea catches him with a hip toss as he rebounds...but Masked Man keeps his feet grounded, and won't allow her to take him over! He counters with one of his own, but the agile Andrea floats over so that she lands on her feet, and jumps up, pushing both of her feet into Mask's chest as she attempts a monkey flip...but MM shoves her off! Andrea lands on her feet, however, and charges Mask, rolling under a clothesline attempt and coming up behind the fill-in tag champion. She applies a waistlock, and then spins Mask around to face her, executing a ¾ bulldog facelock and taking him over with a snapmare! With TMM on his ass, Montgomery runs towards the ropes and comes back facing the replacement champ, before shooting her legs out and nailing him in the face with a seated dropkick!

 

"I’m sure Mask didn’t expect this," Comet proclaims, "because he’s being outwrestled by his much quicker, female opponent."

 

"But how could he NOT expect it?" Riley questions, "Andrea wrestles in pure cruiserweight style – hell, she’s almost as fast as Wildchild! Mask does his research before matches, and he knew what he was getting into."

 

The Romanian falls onto his back, and the Mississippian rolls backwards, before walking over to her corner and tagging in the Birdman! The Dallas crowd cheers at the sight of the feathered superstar, as he climbs into the ring and begins flapping his wings while circling his opponent. TMM climbs up to his feet…and comes face-to-beak with the avian, which causes him to recoil in fright! After a second of recollection, though, he walks forward and apologizes to the Birdman, pantomiming the fact that he thought, for a second, that it was a real bird! Birdman accepts his apology, and then swings his wings, clapping them together against Mask’s head, boxing his ears! The crowd erupts at the sight of the old school move, but Masked Fury again recoils in horror!

 

"That move should be illegal," complains Riley, "I mean, it very obviously shatters your equilibrium! That’s almost-but-not as bad as getting your testicles shattered!"

 

"How much do you enjoy exaggerating, Bobbo?" Comet asks.

 

"…it’s in my job description."

 

Birdman doesn’t want to wait any longer, though, and he takes Mask by the wrist, whipping him towards the ropes. As he comes back, the Bird himself backs into the ropes, gaining momentum as he leaps into the air, driving his forearm right into the forehead of the incoming Masked Man, dropping him with a big forearm smash. TMM takes the hit and likes it (well, not really), quickly rising back to his feet. Birdie advances, but the champion cuts him off with a well-timed right cross to the beak. The blow spins the feathered friend around, allowing the Sexual Maskosaurus to duck under his arm and hoist him into the air for a back suplex…no, Birdman flips over his shoulder, landing on his feet behind TMM! The Masked Man spins around, just as Bird leaps into the air, shooting his talons right into Mask’s mask with a high-air dropkick! Mask crumples to the mat but scurries over to his corner, reaching up and tagging in Todd Cortez! Meanwhile, the Dallas fans show their appreciation and support for the half-human, half-avian!

 

"BIIIIIIIIIRD – MAN!"

 

"BIIIIIIIIRD – MAN!"

 

"GO ANDREA, TOO!" a random fan shouts.

 

"YEAH, GO ANDREA!" another one answers.

 

"ANN – DREE – AH!"

 

"ANN – DREE – AH!" now ALL of the fans join in.

 

"Prepared or not," Comet begins, "the fact remains that the champions HAVE been caught off guard by the offensive onslaught of the self-christened Team Flip-Flop."

 

"Champion," Riley corrects, "singular. Todd Cortez hasn’t even been in the ring yet; it’s been the Maskosaurus the entire time. The members of 42nd Street are slightly similar in style…" he trails off, in thought, and then, "…on second thought, no, they aren’t similar. So it’ll be interesting to see how this shapes up."

 

Cortez enters the ring, and he makes a beeline towards the bird. The two grapplers lunge in for a tie-up, but once he’s in distance, Cortez shoots his leg out, nailing Birdie with a kick to the gut. This stuns the challenger, allowing Cortez to fire off a palm strike right to the beak! Another! A third! With Birdman reeling, the Urban Legend squats down and kicks his leg out, rotating around and sweeping Bird’s legs out from under him, sending him down to the mat! With his opponent down, Cortez stays on the mat and quickly applies a headlock, squeezing tightly against the costumed head so that it actually applies pressure to the man underneath the costume.

 

"Do you really think there’s someone under that costume?" Riley wonders.

 

"Uh, Bobbo, I hope you’re jok-"

 

"No, Comet, seriously; Birdie’s from Parts Unknown. Do you realize how advanced their medical and technological science is compared to ours? They could’ve already successfully created the first bird/human hybrid!"

 

"…Bobbo, you’re scaring me. Did Mark Knixx get into your peanuts?"

 

Birdman shakes off the blow and is able to get to his knees, and Todd quickly adjusts his position to keep a leverage advantage. However, the challenger keeps moving, until both are in a standing position. Bird is able to push the Urban Legend against the ropes, before shrugging out of the headlock and shooting him towards the opposite ropes. Cortez rebounds and Birdie hurdles over his charging body with a leapfrog. As Todd hits the other ropes and returns, Bird drops onto his back and brings his legs over, catapulting Cortez up and into the air with a modified monkey flip (Bird flip?).

 

…but Todd’s just too damn quick for that. Cortez flips, but he’s able to complete a full rotation, landing on his feet! Of course, the spin slightly disorients Todd, and he falls forward (luckily, the ropes are there to break his fall). As he leans against the ropes, Birdman advances, only to have Cortez spin around, shooting his leg out and nearly taking Bird’s head off with a massive spinning leg lariat! As his opponent hits the mat, Cortez quickly drops down and presses on top of him with the first pin of the match, as referee Nick Soapdish counts!

 

ONE!

 

 

TW – NO!

 

Birdman kicks out of the early pin attempt, but Mr. Cortez stays right on him.

 

"I think that kick just showed that Citizen Cortez means business tonight!" Comet helpfully points out. "Amidst all of the apocalyptic rubble here in Dallas, the members of 42nd Street are trying to vaporize their opponents!"

 

"Beautiful analogy, Comet," Riley replies, sarcastically, "but you’re wrong. The Masked Man isn’t trying to vaporize his opponents. Hell, he’s just trying to have a good time! That’s not going to win anything!"

 

"Bobbo, just before you said he was wrestling smart when he went for the kiss from Miss Montgomery."

 

"…but he’s a damn fool!"

 

Todd brings Birdie up to his feet and presses him against a neutral corner, before unleashing with a palm strike to the face! A forearm to the face! Palm strike! Palm strike! Forearm! Finally, Cortez takes Birdman by the wing and whips him towards the opposite corner. Bird hits the corner hard, and Todd rushes towards him, leaping into the air for a big-time splash…but Birdie moves out of the way! The Urban Legend catches a body-full of turnbuckle, and, for good measure, the avian grabs a hold of the back of Todd’s head and again smashes it into the turnbuckle! With Cortez stunned, Birdie flies over to his corner, tagging in Andrea Montgomery! The crowd again roars, as Andrea climbs to the top rope, with Birdie supporting her. As Cortez turns around to face his opponents, Birdie, holding Montgomery in a military press position, launches her towards Cortez with a rocket launcher! Andrea crashes into Todd like a female missile, taking him down to the mat, and she stays on top of him for the pin!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO – NO! Todd easily gets a shoulder up, but is still a little dazed from the collision.

 

"Nice double team maneuver from this flippity-floppity team!" Comet praises, "if they keep this strong teamwork, the tag team championships are almost a guarantee!"

 

"Rule number one, Comet," Riley snipes, "nothing is a guarantee. I don’t care if Mask bites off Todd’s testicles and severs his own foot with a hand saw; they could still pull out a win."

 

"Bobbo, was it something you ate? You’re exceptionally disturbing tonight."

 

Montgomery backs off and gives Cortez some space to get to his feet. Todd does so very slowly, almost suspiciously, as he uses the ropes to pull himself to his knees. Once there, he spots Andrea out of the corner of his eye, and then spins around, shooting his leg out for another sweep kick…but Drea’s cat-like reflexes allow her to leap up, avoiding the sweep! Todd rises to his feet, but he doesn’t stay there long, as Drea recoils with her one sweep, surprising her opponent and sending him to the mat! Faster than a speeding bullet (worst cliché ever?), Andrea gets to her feet and runs to the ropes. She rebounds perpendicular to Todd, before leaping up and flipping in the air, coming down onto Cortez’s midsection with a somersault senton splash! Montgomery rolls off of the Urban Legend and rises up, while Cortez tries to shake the attack off, groggily getting up to meet his opponent. Drea, however, catches Todd off guard with knife edge chops!

 

*SMACK!*

 

"WOOOOOO!"

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

"WOOOOOO!"

 

She takes Todd by the wrist and whips him into the ropes, showing surprising control for a female of her size (GIRL POWER!). As Cortez rebounds, Drea takes after her feathered friend and leaps over the charging Todd with a leapfrog. The Urban Legend hits the opposite ropes and, just as before (except, obviously, with the avian), Montgomery drops onto her back and kicks her legs up…but Todd knows better and he stops short. He takes a hold of her legs and lifts her up off the mat, holding her parallel to the canvas before sitting out, nailing her with an inverted powerbomb! The Dallas crowd roars at this ingenuity, and Cortez turns Andrea over, holding her down for a pin!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

…Andrea gets a shoulder up!

 

"I have to question the logic of going for the same move sequence on the same opponent," Comet notes, "but that was a fantastic counter by Citizen Cortez!"

 

"Now, this is important for 42nd Street," Riley adds, "if they’re smart, they’ll focus on Andrea’s neck, working it over until they can finish her off and keep their titles. It’ll be easier to focus on the body part of someone who isn’t protected by a ridiculous bird costume."

 

Cortez brings Andrea up, but immediately traps her in a tight front facelock. He then walks over to his corner, tagging in the Masked Superstar! Todd tells him to take advantage of the "five second" rule with some high-quality double teaming, but Mask, instead, decides to "take advantage" of Andrea in a different way! He greedily climbs into the ring, still holding onto his tag rope. With Montgomery bent over in the front facelock, Mask tugs the tag rope (increasing its length), and then swings it, whipping it against Andrea’s buttocks!

 

*SMACK!*

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOH!"

 

"HE DID NOT JUST GO THERE!" one fan shouts.

 

Todd can only smile and shake his head as he leaves the ring. TMM, meanwhile, takes a hold of Drea’s wrist and whips her into a neutral corner. As she hits the turnbuckle, Mask musters all of the speed he can to run forward, before turning to the side and lifting his leg up, nailing Drea with a corner side-kick that causes her head to snap backwards! The replacement champion yanks Montgomery out of the corner by her wrist, standing side-by-side with her and lacing his leg around hers, before snapping back with a Romanian/Russian leg sweep! Mask presses down on top of Andrea, hooking her leg for the pin as Nick Soapdish counts!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

AND ANOTHER KICKOUT!

 

"Our Sexual Maskosaurus is such an enigma!" Comet proclaims, "one minute he’s having a grand old sexual time, and the next, he’s being a cold, serious, deadly wrestler in that ring!"

 

"That’s what makes wrestling him so unpredictable," Riley contributes, "he can throw you off your game AND pound you into the ground. And pound. And pound. And pound."

 

Out on the apron, Birdman starts flapping his wings, encouraging the crowd to rally for Andrea, as Mask pulls her up from the canvas.

 

"ANN – DREE – AH!"

 

"ANN – DREE – AH!"

 

Birdman keeps flapping like a pigeon on an acid trip, and Mask takes note of the fans’ cries. He stands Andrea up and raises her arm up much like a referee does to you when you're victorious. Andrea, however, is not victorious in any fashion, as Mask stops the sarcasm by pulling Andrea up onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry and squashing her with a Samoan Drop! MM rolls to his feet and stares down at the fallen female, possibly with indecent thoughts running through his head. Luckily for the under 18 viewing audience, he opts to turn around and catch Birdman off guard, catching him with a punch that sends him from the apron down onto his feathered ass!

 

“A cheap shot by Citizen Mask! There was no need for that!” Comet cries.

 

“Comet, why does it have to be a cheap shot? I’ll have you know that Citizen Mask has rather expensive taste. Just ask some of the women he hangs with what their rates are. It’s enough to make your head spin…although I hear they charge extra for that.”

 

While Birdie dusts himself off and climbs back onto the apron, Mask pulls Andrea up and wraps his arms around her waist, then charging forward, pushing her back into the 42nd Street corner! Andrea’s back slams against the turnbuckle pads, and Mask makes the tag to Todd! MM stays in the ring, holding Andrea in the corner, and the replacement champs stun her with a double knife edge chop before pulling her out of the corner. Each man wraps an arm around her head, placing her in not one but TWO front facelocks, and then carry her up and over, dropping her with a double suplex! Cortez rolls her over onto her stomach and then pulls her up, sending her running towards the ropes with a whip. As Andrea bounces off, however, Birdman makes the blind tag~! Upon rebound, Andrea slides under Todd’s legs, coming up behind him! Cortez spins around, looking for 'Drea, only to get his jaw introduced with Andrea’s head, in a swift jawbreaker! The Urban Legend staggers backwards…and then falls forward, as Birdman makes his entrance into the ring with a well placed missile dropkick to the back of Todd Cortez!

 

“See, Comet, THAT’S a cheap shot,” Riley points out, “because the Birdman didn’t even have the guts to attack Cortez where he could see him. He had to sneak behind him, like a SNAKE.”

 

“Of course, Bobbo, I could just refute your comment by calling it ‘smart tag team wrestling’, but I really don’t feel like getting into an argument with you.”

 

“Right. Because you’ll just lose.”

 

The crowd cheers the outsmarting of the tag champions, as Andrea steps out to the apron, allowing Birdman to take over. Cortez gets to his feet and locks eyes with Birdman, calling him on. The feathered fan favorite walks towards the Urban Legend, and the two lock up in an arm and wing tie up! Birdman takes control, wrenching Cortez’s left arm, and then hitting him with a stiff open wing chop that sends Cortez onto his back! Birdman pulls Todd up, and follows up with another open wing chop, again sending Cortez to the mat. Birdman pulls him up again, but this time sends him into the ropes, tucking his head as Cortez rebounds. Todd dodges whatever Birdman had planned, rolling over his back and landing on his feet behind Big Bird’s long lost brother, spinning him around and catching him with a well placed kick to the birdie guts. This doubles the avian over, allowing Todd to back into the ropes to gain momentum. As he rebounds, he grabs Birdie’s head, snapping him onto the canvas with a swinging neckbreaker!

 

"Todd Cortez is taking advantage of the Birdman like he was an expensive whore!"

 

"... Bobbo, that really doesn't make any sense."

 

“Neither does your FACE!”

 

Cortez reaches down, wrapping his arm around Birdman’s head in an inverted facelock…extremely similar to the Street Dreams hold that has won him many a match. Rather than go for the kill this early, Cortez applies the facelock and pulls Birdman to his feet, then rams knees into the lower back of The Bird. Cortez then hooks the waist of Birdman’s costume, and yanks him into the air, carrying him over with an inverted vertical suplex…

 

NO! Birdman lands on his feet behind Cortez, and runs him to the ropes, nearly driving him into Todd’s partner Masked Man! Birdman brings Todd back into a rolling prawn hold, but Soapdish won’t count the fall for some reason. Masked Man then charges in just as Cortez kicks his legs up, sending Birdman stumbling into a Masked Man lariat!

 

“NOW I know why Soapdish didn’t count…because Mask, much like The Olsen Twins, is now legal!” Riley gleefully exclaims.

 

“You’ve been waiting all night to say that, haven’t you, Bobbo?”

 

MM pulls Birdman up and applies a ¾ inverted facelock, snapmaring him over, and then following up with a well placed kick to the back!

 

*SMACK!*

 

The resulting smack echoes through the arena, and Masked Man likes the sound so much that he does it again, sending shockwaves up and down Birdie’s spine! Mask pulls Birdman up, and then follows up with a Romanian Uppercut! And another! And a third! Mask pulls Birdman away from the ropes and puts him on the mat with a simple scoop slam, then backs into the ropes, coming off with a high jumping elbow drop that finds its mark on Birdman’s sternum! Mask nonchalantly covers Birdman, watching as Soapdish hits the canvas…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

MASK PULLS BIRDMAN UP!

 

"The Masked Man is apparently not done with the Birdman," Riley says, "and that may spell trouble for the Flip Flop duo!"

 

"Or it may come back to bite the citizens of 42nd Street on the arse!" Comet says.

 

The Masked Man grins, grabbing Birdy by the feathers and lifting him to his talons, grabbing the Birdman by his wing and whipping him hard into the ropes. The Birdman charges full-steam at the ropes, but as he approaches them he leaps, landing with both feet on the second rope and springboarding off, twisting his body in midair and catching the Masked Man by surprise with a horizontal body splash, sending both men to the mat with the Birdman on top! The crowd roars for the move as the Birdman stays on top, making the cover!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

NO! The Sexual Maskosaurus kicks out, and Birdman grabs him by the mask, dragging him up to his feet. The Birdman grabs the Maskosaurus in a headlock, running forward a few steps before jumping, sitting out and driving the Masked Man into the mat with a huge bulldog! The crowd goes wild, knowing the Birdman's moveset well enough to know what the bulldog usually means, and as the Birdman begins flapping his wings wildly, the crowd knows what time it is!

 

"It's time for the Bird Dropping!" Comet yells.

 

"I can't be the first to point out what an awful name that is for a finisher, can I?"

 

The Birdman goes over to the ropes, the crowd cheering his every step as he climbs to the top of the turnbuckle and turns around, facing the center of the ring, where the Maskosaurus lay. The Birdman flaps his wings, firing the crowd up before he leaps off, throwing his legs out first so that it's his posterior that's aimed like a cruise missile for the Sexual Maskosaurus' chest...

 

*WHUMPH!*

 

... but the aim is bad, as the Masked Man moves out of the way JUST in time, and the Birdman lands smack on his, well, ass! The crowd boos, and the Masked Man gets to his feet, obviously pleased with his maneuvering. He grabs the Birdman by the feathers, lifting him to his feet. TMM goes behind the Birdman, grabbing him in a rear waistlock and heaving the small man back with a sickly Romanian suplex! The crowd cheers slightly, but their cheers grow louder as the Birdman, just thrown towards the Flip Flop corner, begins inching over to Andrea Montgomery, reaching out for the tag!

 

"The Birdman misses with the Bird Dropping," Riley calls out, "and now the Sexual Maskosaurus is firmly in control!"

 

Bobbo pauses, and then... "Oh, I'm such a dirty boy."

 

The Masked Man turns around and sees this, and he is NONE too pleased, running back and placing a skillful stomp into the back of the Birdman! Birdy caws out in pain, and the Masked Man grabs him by the feathers, lifting him to his feet. Were his face visible the Birdman would probably be cawing in pain, but the mask continues to stare blankly at the Masked Man, and the Masked Man responds by blankly kneeing the Birdman in the midsection! The Birdman doubles over, and the Masked Man slaps on a side headlock, grabbing the Birdman by his waist and heaving him up into vertical suplex position!

 

"He's set up for the Cautionary Tale of Sexual Maskosaurus!" Riley cries.

 

The Masked Man turns around, showing off his power and turning his back to Andrea Montgomery, who uses this semi-distraction to step on the second rope and slap the Birdman on the shoulder! The Mask somehow misses this, and falls forward as he normally would, spiking the Birdman into the mat with a forward-falling brainbuster!

 

"And there it is!" Riley yells out. "The Cautionary Tale of Sexual Maskosaurus, and it would appear that 42nd Street is POISED FOR VICTORY!"

 

"Yes, yes," Comet says, "if only Citizen Birdman were the legal creature."

 

The Masked Man stands up as normal, rolling the Birdman over onto his back and looking for the pin as normal -- but for reasons unbeknownst to the Mask, Soapdish refuses to make the count! The Masked Man stays on top of Birdman, looking up at Soapdish and yelling at him to count, but Soapdish merely shakes his head no!

 

"WHY NOT!?"

 

*WHUMPH!*

 

His answer comes in the form of Andrea Montgomery, leaping off the top rope and coming down hard across the back of the Masked Man's neck with a vicious guillotine leg drop! The crowd goes absolutely SPLENDA as Masked Man rolls off of the Birdman, clutching his head in pain! The Birdman rolls out of the ring and onto the apron, leaving Andrea Montgomery to take control of the Maskosaurus!

 

"42nd Street would have won," Riley pouts, and Comet finishes his sentence, "if it wasn't for the beautiful teamwork of the Flip Flop squad!"

 

The beautiful Montgomery follows the Masked Man as he crawls across the ring, trying to tag in Todd Cortez but falling JUST short, as Montgomery grabs him by the belt and pulls him back and to his feet. The Masked Man tries to turn around and catch Andrea off-guard, but there's no way that's happening, and Montgomery makes sure of that by bringing her knee up and smashing it into the Maskosaurus' stomach, doubling the Mask over.

 

Andrea quickly goes to the side of the Masked Man, first grabbing him in a side headlock but then turning it into a full-nelson! The crowd pops, recognizing the maneuver, and cheering even louder as she takes a few steps forward before leaping herself, throwing out her legs and driving the Masked Man facefirst into the mat, much like the Birdman did earlier, only this time with a full nelson bulldog!

 

"Citizen Andrea pulls out the Hamburglar!" Comet calls, "Paying homage to the long-forgotten Mayor McCheese!"

 

"Pfft, I beat him," Riley says.

 

"So did I, but that's not the point. The point is that the Masked Man keeps getting his with bulldogs, and you'd better believe he's found himself in trouble again!"

 

Montgomery grabs the Masked Man by the mask, lifting him to his feet once more and scissoring his inside leg with her own, bringing her arm up by his neck to put him into STO position. However, Drea moves her arm behind the Masked Man's neck, hooking his outside arm with her inside arm. The Masked Man, fully aware of what is going on, waits patiently, knowing that Andrea is going to try to hook his inside arm with her outside arm...

 

...and when she does, the Masked Man slaps it away! Montgomery is caught off guard, and the Masked Man uses this to shake his inside leg free, stepping behind Montgomery! He grabs her free arm with his free arm, putting her into a crucifix, and then the Masked Man drops to his knees, falling forward and bringing Andrea down with a smooth backslide!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

NO! Montgomery rolls out of the move, her breathing heavier as she gets to her feet, eyeing the Maskosaurus with a newfound respect!

 

"The Masked Man reverses the Done and Dusted into a backslide," Riley says, "and on this cool August night he is really proving himself as a wrestler!"

 

"This isn't a trashy soap novel and this ain't ballet, Bobbo!" Comet cries. "Shape up, sport!"

 

The Masked Man gets to his feet, and Andrea is all over him once again, charging the Mask and looking to take him out with a lariat -- but the Masked Man falls back, tagging in the Urban Legend, who is balanced on the second rope! Montgomery doesn't see how set up she is until it's too late, as Cortez springboards over the top rope and over Montgomery's head, grabbing it on the way down and bringing her to the mat with a SICK slingshot springboard neckbreaker! Cortez scrambles on top of Montgomery, looking for a quick pinfall!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

 

NO! Montgomery gets the shoulder up, and the crowd goes wild! Cortez is not happy, and he slaps the mat in anger, but he gets to his feet anyway because he is a SOLDIER! He grabs Montgomery by the hair, lifting her to her feet once again and going, proverbially, back to the salt mine.

 

"A beautiful neckbreaker variant by the Urban Legend," Riley says, "but it's STILL not enough to put Montgomery away!"

 

Cortez grabs Montgomery's arm, whipping her into the ropes, and as she comes back Cortez charges forward, extending an arm and slamming it into Montgomery's sternum with a vicious'n'deadly lariat! Montgomery is knocked flat, twitching slightly but possibly DEAD from the maneuver, and Masked Man begins celebrating on the apron as Cortez makes the seemingly textbook pin!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

NO! Montgomery again gets the shoulder up, and the crowd pops like a cherry (cliche!)! Cortez, frustrated as all get-out, slaps the mat once more, but he again gets to his feet, falling back and tagging in the Maskosaurus before turning back to Montgomery, going behind her and putting his head between her legs (risque~), lifting her up in electric chair drop position!

 

"She's set up for the Party Crasher!" Riley yells. "This could be IT right here!"

 

Maskosaurus steps into the ring, all set to tack on a diamond cutter, but Cortez is having trouble getting off the electric chair drop, as Montgomery is assaulting his head with punches! Cortez stumbles, and from his shoulders Montgomery whirls around, falling back and looking to rana Cortez over...

 

...but she's caught falling back by the Maskosaurus, who brings her down with an elevated neckbreaker! Cortez falls to the mat as well, inadvertantly headbutting Montgomery in the stomach! The Maskosaurus gets to his feet, taking a deep breath before getting on top of Montgomery, hoping that the botched Party Crasher will get the pin!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

NO! The Birdman comes to the rescue, stomping the Masked Man hard in the back!

 

“My taffy, how close can you possibly get?!” Comet asks, “tell me, how blurred can the line become between two and three?”

 

“I’ll ask one of my friends,” Bobbo helpfully replies, “apparently, he has a growth in his scrotum.”

 

The crowd roars at the sight of the avian saving his tag partner, but Monsieur Soapdish gets all up in his grill, forcing him back into his corner. As he does this, 42nd Street decide to reaffirm their ring positioning (that’s fancy-talk for cheat), as Cortez enters the ring, and both men take one of Andrea’s arms and lift her up, pushing her into their corner. The ‘champions’ back up to the center of the ring and interlock their arms, and then, much like participants in a three-legged race, Mask and Todd time their steps, running forward and lifting their ‘tied’ leg up, nailing Montgomery right in the face with a perfectly-timed double Yakuza Kick! Soapdish turns around just to see Cortez exiting the ring, and Drea exiting consciousness. TMM grabs a hold of Andrea’s arm and pulls her out of the corner, and then yanks on the arm hard enough, which sends her down to the mat on her stomach. The Sexual Maskosaurus then twists around her arm, before flipping over her body and rolling her into a La Magistral cradle! Birdman hurries to enter the ring as Nick Soapdish counts the cradled pin!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE – NO, Amidst all of the rolling that Mask and Andrea were doing, they ended up against the ropes, thus breaking up the pin! Birdman soars back to his corner, but then begins pounding his wing against the turnbuckle, trying to get the fans behind Montgomery once again!

 

“HEY BIRDMAN!” one fan shouts, “WE ALREADY ARE CHEERING FOR ANDREA, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT, DUDE!”

 

“YEAH, BUT WHO CARES?” another fan shouts in response, “IT IS FREAKIN ANDREA! LET’S GO ANDREA! LET’S GO ANDREA!”

 

“LET’S GO ANDREA!”

 

“LET’S GO ANDREA!” the thousands of Dallas fans resonate in response.

 

“Andrea Montgomery desperately needs to make a tag!” Comet proclaims, “if she can’t make another tag, it’s all but over for the challengers!”

 

“And it’s nice to see you finally admit it, Comet.” Riley says, smugly.

 

“I wasn’t admitting ANYTHING, Bobbo, I just-“

 

“Your eyes are too close together!” Riley quickly interjects, causing Comet to sigh and focus back on the match.

 

The Masked Fool is becoming increasingly frustrated with the resilient challenger, but he decides to focus on her soft, feminine neck (as opposed to masculine, I guess). He brings her up and stands behind her, trapping her in an inverted facelock. From there, he drops to a knee, pulling her back and driving her neck into his outstretched knee. Seamlessly, he brings her back up and stands back-to-back with her, ready to fall back for a neckbreaker-

 

-until Mask sees the bird, who illegally enters the ring (to the delight of the crowd) and…drives his beak into TMM’s head, pecking the life out of him! The Texans go absolutely WATERMELON, and so does Todd Cortez, as he enters the ring to stop this madness! However, Nick Soapdish interjects himself, telling Todd Cortez to wait his turn to ride the slide! As he does this, Birdman finishes Masked Fury off with another ear-clap, which dazes him and sends him down to the mat! As Soapdish is escorting Cortez out of the ring, Birdie decides to be a sneaky sparrow and drag Montgomery closer to his corner! Soapdish turns around, sees Mask down in the center of the ring, and sees Andrea reach up to her feathered partner…SLAPPING HIS WING AND TAGGING HIM IN!

 

 

However, Soapdish is already pushing him back towards his corner!

 

“What the…?” Comet trails off, “they made the tag!”

 

“Birdman wasn’t holding the tag rope!” Bobbo points out, “Amidst all of their cheating, the bird-brain forgot to hold onto the tag rope!”

 

With the cardinal rule of tag-teaming (zing!) broken, the Birdman dejectedly goes outside of the ring, grasping the tag rope tightly. Andrea immediately reaches up again, but this time she’s intercepted, as The Masked Man is able to grab a hold of her ankle and pull her back, away from the tag! The crowd, surprisingly, jeers this move vociferously, but TMM is too preoccupied with the match to worry about the fans. He brings Montgomery up off of the mat with him, before lacing his arm through hers and palming her face, in a reverse half-nelson. He then intertwines his leg around hers, setting her up for his Maski Pad STO…but Andrea summons up the strength to send two elbows into Mask’s mask! She slips out of the half-nelson and applies a front facelock, before falling back and spiking TMM’s head into the mat with a DDT! With Mask down, the crowd grows into a fevered pitch as Montgomery crawls closer to the Birdman! The Sexual Maskosaurus rolls onto his stomach and shakes the cobwebs out, before noticing the trouble that might come! With all of the speed he can muster, he crawls towards Andrea, trying to keep her from making the tag-

 

*SMACK!*

 

-but it’s too late, as she makes the tag to Birdman! The avian soars into the ring and, seeing Cortez illegally enter to try and stop him, he charges towards the champ, leaping into the air horizontally and catching him with a cross body block! The hit knocks the wind out of Cortez, but for Birdman, he’s just getting started! He runs over to Mask, who’s getting to his feet, and helps him up, before attacking him with open-wing chops!

 

*SMACK!*

 

“CAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!”

 

*SMACK!*

 

“CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW!”

 

He then takes Mask by the arm, whipping him into the ropes. As he rebounds, Birdie leaps into the air, bringing his leg around and nailing a kick to the back of Mask’s head! As TMM takes the brunt of this enzuiguri, he walks forward, dazed, and then simply falls flat on his face. Todd Cortez, meanwhile, shakes some feeling back into his body (well, mostly his head. He wasn’t, in fact, dancing), but then walks over to referee Nick Soapdish, audibly accusing the Birdman of hiding a foreign object in his costume!

 

“This is preposterous!” Comet exclaims, “and I can’t believe Cortez would stoop so low!”

 

“Two things, Comet,” Riley replies, “one, it’s not stooping low. Two, it’s smart wrestling! Whether he has something in his outfit or not, it’s going to buy 42nd Street some valuable time!”

 

“I know what you’re saying, Bobbo, but this is completely out of character for the straight-edge Mr. Cortez!”

 

“Nothing is out of character when a title is on the line, Comet.”

 

Soapdish believes Cortez and stops the Birdman, before patting down his costume! The American Airlines Center crowd really lets Mr. Soapdish know how they feel, booing like they’ve never booed before in this match. Soapdish, of course, finds nothing, but he does HEAR something, as Cortez claps his hands together, entering the ring for his fallen comrade! The referee accepts this blind tag, and the Urban Legend surprises the Birdman with a palm strike to the side of the head! As Birdie wobbles, Todd charges to the nearest ropes and leaps onto the middle one, springboarding off and turning around, swinging his arm out and taking Birdman down to the mat with a flying lariat! Desperately, Cortez covers Birdman as Soapdish counts the pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

AND BIRDMAN KICKS OUT! The spirit of the eagle kicks in, and the challenger is easily able to get to his feet, meeting Cortez. The Urban Legend tries to cut off Birdie’s momentum with a knife edge chop, followed by an Irish whip into the ropes. As Bird runs back, Cortez leapfrogs over him, allowing the avian to run to the opposite side. As soon as he hits the ropes, Todd shuffles forward and kicks his leg out for a big super kick…but Birdie ducks, and Todd’s leg gets caught over the top rope! As he struggles to break free, Birdman actually helps him, bringing his leg off the rope…and then trapping the leg, placing him in a front facelock, and hoisting him onto his shoulder, sitting out with his version of the muscle buster, known as the BIRD BUSTER!

 

“THE BIRD BUSTER!” Comet exclaims, “This man certainly knows how to kill a mockingbird!”

 

Birdie hooks a leg of Todd’s as Soapdish counts the pin, with all of Dallas counting along!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREEE!

 

 

 

 

NO, THE MASKED MAN PULLS BIRDMAN’S LEG, PULLING HIM OFF OF CORTEZ AND EFFECTIVELY STOPPING THE COUNT!

 

Birdman gets to his feet and turns around to face the Masked Man, who fires off a right hand…blocked! Bird holds onto the hand and then kicks Mask in the gut, before pushing Mask against the ropes and swinging his arm out, clotheslining him over the top and down to the floor! The crowd erupts! With Cortez down in the center of the ring, Andrea Montgomery, from her corner, shouts at Birdman to come to her corner. He does so, and the two talk brief strategy, before Birdman tags in Andrea!

 

“What an IDIOT!” Riley insults, “Andrea was just getting her ass kicked a few minutes ago, and now Birdman tags her back in?!”

 

“Well, Bobbo, they obviously have a plan,” Comet assures, “personally, I think he tagged her in to perform a quality double team maneuver.”

 

“Whatever, Comet. That mistake is going to bring their downfall.”

 

Andrea, however, climbs to the top rope as Birdie stands against the corner, facing the same direction as Montgomery. He then reaches up and grabs her wrists, flipping her forward for an iconoclasm/flipping senton combo on Todd Cortez!

 

…but Masked Man, from the outside of the ring, pulls Cortez’s leg, bringing him out of harm’s way and causing Andrea Montgomery to crash down against the mat! Before Birdman can react, TMM reenters the ring and runs at the Bird, swinging his OWN arm out and dishing out some PAYBACK FOR ONE MINUTE AGO, YOU FEATHERED FIENDS THINK YOU CAN JUST CLOTHESLINE ROMANIANS OVER THE TOP ROPE BUT YOU CAN’T, ROMANIANS ARE JUST THAT MUCH SMARTER THAN YOU AND I’M PROVING IT WITH THIS LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Birdie collapses down to the mat, and Mask hurriedly runs over to Cortez and helps him up to his feet.

 

“This is incredible!” Riley exclaims, “hey Comet, do you remember what I said a minute ago? MILK MILK LEMONADE AROUND THE CORNER FUDGE IS MADE! BOOYAH!”

 

Comet can only sigh.

 

As Cortez gets up, Mask exits to his corner and holds the tag rope, extending his hand out…and Todd tags it! The crowd boos as Mask gleefully reenters the ring, with five fresh seconds of double teaming available! TMM brings the cold (but NOT dead!) Montgomery to her feet and sits her on the top turnbuckle! Cortez backs into the corner and places her on his shoulders, in the electric chair position. He walks out of the corner and then, without a second to lose, he slams her forward. As she falls, Mask bounces off the ropes to gain momentum and then leaps into the air, catching Montgomery in a ¾ bulldog facelock and falling down with an ace crusher to complete-

 

“THE PARTY CRASHER!” Comet shouts, “my god, this is all but academic! Come on, Birdman, stop these fools from regaining their titles!”

 

The Masked Man rolls Andrea over and presses down on top of her, as Cortez and Birdman get to their respective vertical bases! Nick Soapdish counts!

 

 

OOOOOOOONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Birdman charges forward!

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

He leaps!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUT CORTEZ INTERCEPTS HIM WITH A SUPERKICK TO THE BEAK, TAKING HIM OUT!

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

 

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,” Funyon cries, amidst the shocked roar of the crowd, “the winners of this contest, and still SMARKS WRESTLING FEDERATION TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, Todd Cortez and The Masked Man, FOOOOOOOOOORTY-SSSSSSSSECOND STREEEEEET!”

 

“Misirlou” kicks in again, and the Masked Man, victoriously, rolls off of the nearly-unconscious Montgomery. Cortez, who isn’t feeling all there himself, helps Mask to his feet, and the two men take ‘their’ tag team championship belts from Nick Soapdish. They thrust them high into the air, as the music continues and their opponents lie on the canvas.

 

“I give all of the credit in the world to the challengers,” Comet commends, “personally, I think they had the match won on multiple occasions, if it wasn’t for the underhanded tactics of 42nd Street!”

 

“Luckily, I don’t pay you to think, Comet. In fact, I don’t pay you at all! 42nd Street obviously worked hard for this win, and they deserved it. Now, I think it’s time to see Tom Flesher win his World Heavyweight Championship back.”

 

“You may be right, Bobbo, but regardless, our main event should be an absolute CLASSIC.”

 

The tag champions exit the ring, exhausted in victory. The challengers, meanwhile, move around on the mat.

 

“And I certainly hope,” Comet continues, “that this team gets another shot at those tag titles. They deserve it.”

 

“Like hell,” Riley replies, as we (DUN DUN DUN)… FADE OUT.

[the.weej 0]

The ring has been empty for a couple of minutes as a video for the new "History of the IGNJL / SQL" video plays. The crowd cheers their favorites on the giant SmarkTron as they are shown, but with no real enthusiasm while they wait on the real action in the ring.

 

The crowd is shocked when the video ends, there are a couple of seconds of silence, then...

 

**CRACK**

 

Massive cheers rock the building as the opening drumroll of "Go Home" by Blessid Union of Souls blast out of the speakers, then intensify as "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens comes out from behind the curtain. His hair is grown back out to shoulder length and he walks without a limp, but it is obvious to everyone in the arena or watching on Pay-Per-View that he is thicker around the middle and in the neck, like he has added on quite a few pounds while he's been gone. Funyon stands in the middle of the ring, a broad smile on his face as he raises the mic in his hand to his lips.

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the ring, hailing from Lincoln, Nebraska... the Heavy Hitter, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens!!

 

Grand Slam walks down to the ring slowly, waving at the crowd and slapping hands, enjoying his return to an SWF arena. He makes it to the squared circle and pulls himself up to the ring apron, then steps through the ropes and walks over to the ever-flamboyantly dressed Funyon. The ring announcer lowers his mike and the two old friends exchange a few words, and Grand Slam passes him what appears to be a small wallet sized photo. The two men shake hands, Funyon hands over the mike and then makes his way to ringside. Alone in the ring, Grand Slam looks around at the crowd and smiles, soaking it all in as a massive "Grand Slam" chant starts.

 

GSMS: Damn, its good to be back. First things first, I want to announce the birth of my daughter a couple months ago. Now Christopher Edward has a little sister, Sarah Ann. (He pauses for a decent sized cheer) moving along, I'm sure you all noticed the lack of a knee brace and a limp. The reason I've been gone so long is pretty simple. I finally had the knee surgery I've needed since Bastion nearly crippled me last year. But the rehab is going well and I feel like a new man. (He pats his stomach) Of course, I look like a new man too. Let me tell you all, finding time to get a decent work-out between knee surgery, rehab, chasing a two-year-old and helping to take care of a newborn is more difficult than finding a decent meal in an airport.

 

The crowd laughs and claps a little, knowing that the important stuff is coming and settling in for the ride.

 

GSMS: So, I'm sure you're tired of hearing about my little problems, so let's get on with why I am really here. Alex Zenon, get down to the ring!

 

The crowd tenses a little, realizing that bad things might be about to happen and waiting to hear the music of the Acting Commissioner. Seconds pass, then more...

 

GSMS: Z! Where are you?

 

Finally, the curtain parts and Z steps out onto the stage and makes his way to the ring slowly, glaring at the ring. The crowd is hushed, sensing the tension in the arena between these two men. Finally, Z climbs into the ring, accepts another mike from a ringside tech and turns to face Grand Slam.

 

GSMS: Z, I'm glad you're here. I've caught almost every show since I left and I have a few things to say to you about the way you ran this place while I was gone. You made mistakes...

 

Z: I made mistakes? You sign Kibigami right before I take over and I made mistakes? Well screw you Mark! I did the best damn job I could with this place after you dumped it on me. And I knew, I just knew that you were going to show back up here with your "holier-than-thou" attitude and crap all over everything I tried to do here! Well I'm tired of living in your shadow Grand Slam.

 

Grand Slam looks a little stunned and takes a step away from Z. He slowly raises his mike...

 

GSMS: Z... I... I'm sorry. I didn't know... I... I was going to say you made mistakes, but so did I. This is an impossible job and I think you did a damn fine job considering. Z, I'm sorry if anything I said made you think I was mad. Sounds like we had a big misunderstanding buddy. I should know not to send e-mail, I'm terrible at it.

 

Z takes a step back and leans against the ropes. He looks like someone has sapped all of his energy.

 

Z: Slammer, I over-reacted. I... I just want you to know that, whatever happens in the next five minutes, I'm glad you're back, and I'm very sorry. I'll do what I can to make it right.

 

GSMS: What do you mean "Whatever...

 

A cackle fills the arena, a very familiar sound that precedes the beginning of "Crazy Train". Grand Slam looks at Z confused, his eyes wide. Z has his head in his hands, looking away from Grand Slam. Finally, the crowd lets loose with a massive boo as one of the most hated men in the history of the SWF, the one and only Suicide King, appears on stage.

 

GSMS: What the hell are you doing here King?

 

SK: Why don't you ask your good buddy Z? He's the one that called me to be here tonight.

 

Grand Slam turns on Z and yells.

 

GSMS: What is he talking about Alex?

 

Z: I thought you were going to fire me Mark. I thought you were going to come out here and humiliate me in front of the boys, and I wanted an ace in the hole.

 

GSMS: Alex, I...

 

SK: The point, old friend, is that I am here, and that Mr. Zenon has my full support to remain as the Commissioner. In fact, as of now, I am removing the "acting" from your title.

 

GSMS: You can't do that!

 

SK: The heck I can't. Your pal Thugg isn't around to help vote me down, so I can do pretty much whatever I want. As for you Mark, I did a little research on your contract. In the limited status as Commissioner, there were certain provisions written in to keep you in line. As I remember, you had a little match before you left didn't you?

 

GSMS: So?

 

SK: So, you should get that shyster wife of yours to read your contracts before you sign them. I made sure there was a provision in your contract that read, in part, that if you took part in a match on SWF television under SWF sanctioned rules, that your contract would change immediately and you would become an active member of the SWF roster. Congratulations old man, you get to be a part of the SWF again!

 

The crowd lets loose a torrent of abuse directed at the Suicide King, who appears to revel in it, eating up every moment of the hatred heaped upon him. He looks with a smile of demented delight on the two men in the ring, enjoying the pain he has inflicted upon them. Grand Slam is struck speechless, staring at his arch-enemy with a blank face as comprehension slowly sinks in. Z, the new Commissioner of the SWF, storms to the edge of the ring closest to the stage and leans on the ropes, pointing at King.

 

Z: You can't do this! I didn't mean for this to happen and you know it! This isn't what I wanted and you know it!

 

SK: What you wanted doesn't matter to me Z. The simple fact is that you brought this situation to my attention and did what I had to do. Now Mark, I'd suggest that you make sure you are at Storm on Friday, and that you have your gear with you, because I will guarantee that you will have your first match. I'm sure the Commissioner will find you a suitable opponent.

 

With that, King turns and exits through the curtain. The camera cuts back to Grand Slam looking at Z with a pleading look in his eyes. The Commissioner's response alternates between a pleading "I'm sorry" and "I'll make it right."

Edited August 2, 2004 by realitycheck

[the.weej 0]

The fans in the American Airlines Center have seen a lot this evening. They have seen battle, they have seen bloodshed and they have seen true, raw emotion displayed by the superstars of the SWF. But now as the evening draws to a close they get to see the pivotal moment of the show, the match that will decide the direction of the company from here on. It is time for the main event.

 

The Smarktron abruptly stops displaying the Ground Zero logo and a graphic of the World Heavyweight Title flashes up, causing the volume in the arena to soar as if someone had just taken it off mute. The belt shrinks into the background and three figures appears one after another. The first is stocky, red-haired and wearing Olympic-style wrestling tights, with a smug grin on his face and a pretty Japanese girl standing at his shoulder. He looks to either side of him with an expression of amused condescension before placing his hands on his hips and staring straight at the camera.

 

‘THE SUPERIOR ONE’ - TOM FLESHER

 

A second figure appears; pale-skinned, thinner and younger with black spiky hair, black nail polish and eyeliner and a pretty girl with piercings and blue dreadlocks beside him. He cracks his neck from side-to-side and folds his arms, tilting his head as the grey eyes stare out with unnerving intensity.

 

‘THE STRAIGHT-EDGE SENSATION’ - TOXXIC

 

He freezes into immobility and a third and final shape appears; monstrous and muscled, with blazing red eyes, black-and-white hair... and the golden shape of the World Title fasten around his waist. He raises his arms in the air, mouth opening in a soundless roar before lowering his head and hiding the disturbing eyes, adopting a pose of hidden menace.

 

SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

‘THE HELL MACHINE’ - JANUS

 

“Citizens, this is the moment we have been waiting for all evening!” Cyclone Comet says enthusiastically as the words ‘Triple Threat’ appear underneath the graphic. “Tom Flesher, Toxxic and Janus - the World Heavyweight Title is on the line and one of these three men will walk out of here as the champion; it is undoubtedly a shame that all three of them are villainous, wretched creatures, but nevertheless their talent cannot be denied!”

 

“Tom Flesher’s talent cannot be denied,” Bobby Riley argues. “The Hell Machine is more a case of ‘JANUS SMASH!’ and Toxxic’s presence here can be attributed to a run of very good luck augmenting what abilities he has. Neither of them are fit to shine Flesher’s shoes... although I will admit that any one of the three is infinitely preferable to Dace Night or those of his ilk.”

 

Before Riley has finished speaking the cameras pan down to the ring where Funyon awaits. The plump ring announcer smiles, knowing that for the next few seconds he is the focus of millions watching around the globe, and raises the microphone to his lips. The atmosphere in the American Airlines Center quietens down, only a faint buzz remaining on the edge of hearing.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen... it is time for the MAIN EVENT~!”

 

Dallas goes wild at Funyon’s announcement, and he smiles a bit wider as he waits for the cheering to die down again.

 

“The following contest is a Two-Out-Of-Three-Falls Triple Threat Match scheduled for between two and four falls, and is for the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! The winner will be the person to score the second fall over one of his opponents, whether or not he scored the first one! Disqualifications and count-outs are in effect, although the title cannot change hands as a result! This match will be overseen by the SWF’s Chief Official, Anthony Michael Hall!”

 

Michael Hall waves at the crowd and smiles at the camera... but the focus of attention abruptly shifts away from the ring as the Smarktron blacks out and the crunching guitars of Lostprophets’ ‘We Still Kill The Old Way’ ring out over the PA system. Jagged white letters flash up on the screen, spelling out an all-too-familiar slogan for the Texan crowd to jeer at:

 

‘PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG’

 

The Smarktron changes to a shot of Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table with the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the-

 

‘GO!’

 

*BOOOM!!*

 

-explosion of red pyro announcing the arrival of the SWF’s premier straight-edger! Before the smoke has cleared Toxxic strides out through a gap in a pile of burned-out cars, bouncing up and down and cracking his neck from side-to-side as he loosens up for the biggest match of his career. The Smarktron changes to show the straight-edger’s trademark lopsided grin before displaying half-second clips of notable matches, including the All-Show Brawl with the Insane Luchador, the Glass Jawbreaker on Aecas and dropping Nathaniel Kibagami on his head with the Caffeine Bomb. Jet is not with Toxxic again tonight, and the shirt he wears is not from his own merchandise but is instead a tattered, ripped piece of material featuring the Autobots logo and bearing the words ‘Lostprophets: Heroic Rockstars’.

 

“That’s the shirt Toxxic wore for his first ever PPV appearance!” Comet exclaims as the straight-edger starts to make his way down the ramp. “He wore it for protection in his 200 Light Tube match against Aecas for the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship - I didn’t know he’d kept it!”

 

“He must be hoping for a similar result tonight,” Riley comments as Toxxic rolls under the bottom rope into the ring. “Of course, he wasn’t in the ring with Tom then.”

 

“Introducing first; from Nottingham, England,” Funyon booms. “He weighs in at 218lbs; he is the leader of Revolution Zero and is the Joint Number One Contender to the World Heavyweight Title... he is the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’... TOXX-IIIC!!”

 

Toxxic rips off his T-shirt and throws it over the top rope, but makes a point of marking where it lands on the outside before ascending the nearest turnbuckle and spreading his arms wide, palms flat, and staring out at the Dallas crowd. The crowd in its turn responds in the only way they ever do.

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“Toxxic first appeared in the SWF in early February,” Comet notes as the Straight-Edge Sensation drops back down to the canvas and turns away from his hecklers, determination visible in his steely grey eyes. “He has one of the best win/loss records in the Federation, has captured the Hardcore Gamer’s Title and has been Intercontinental-Television Champion twice. He has never been defeated on Pay-Per-View in his brief career, has only been pinned three times and has retired one of the three men to do that - Nathaniel Kibagami, himself a former World Champion - after a brutal Last Man Standing match at 13th Hour. If Toxxic wins tonight,” the superhero continues with a sigh, “he will become the fastest World Heavyweight Champion since 2000, not to mention one of the smallest and youngest.”

 

*BOOOOOM!!*

 

An explosion of blue pyro and smoke lights up the arena and all faces turn once more to the entrance ramp as the words ‘SUPERIOR ONE’ blazes on the Smarktron and Led Zeppelin’s ‘Kashmir’ blasts out of the speakers! The smoke clears and Tom Flesher walks out in his blue warm-up suit, the Cruiserweight title around his waist and the usual smug smile in place but Allison Onita notably absent.

 

“Citizen Flesher not accompanied to the ring tonight,” Comet says as the Superior One saunters down the ramp in time to his music. “I can only imagine that neither he nor Toxxic considered ringside a safe place for their significant others given the nature of the match, and indeed the temperament of the participants!”

 

“Well, if Tom needs an escort after his win tonight then he knows where to come,” Riley says eagerly, causing his co-commentator to look at him wearily.

 

Presumably unaware of Bobby Riley’s ongoing infatuation Tom Flesher steps through the ropes into the ring and strips his title belt and warm-up suit off before doing some stretches. Funyon raises the microphone to his lips but Flesher cuts him off with a sharp gesture... and does some more stretches before motioning to the ring announcer to continue. With a long-suffering expression on his face, Funyon pulls an index card out of his top pocket and begins to read.

 

“Currently in the ring before you stands a truly brilliant technical wrestler and the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation’s resident mat genius. He has amassed an incredible record of 80 wins, 30 losses and 2 draws...” here Funyon pauses momentarily and shoots a brief but significant glance at Toxxic, who is smirking as the ring announcer reads the loss statistics in memory of a Caffeine Bomb off the second rope in Buffalo. Flesher’s expression darkens and he motions impatiently at Funyon to keep reading.

 

“...he is a multi-time holder of sundry title belts, one of the most successful wrestlers to ever step into a ring, winner of countless awards, the former leader of a stable that makes Revolution Zero look like the Brady Bunch, is a former two-time World Heavyweight Champion and tonight he will capture the belt for an unprecedented third time...?” Funyon trails off dubiously before turning to confer with Flesher. After a few moments of hushed discussion the ring announcer sighs and raises his mic once more.

 

“...an unprecedented third time... because El Luchadore Magnifico and Danny Williams shouldn’t be allowed to count.”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“He hails from Buffalo, New York,” Fuyon goes on, evidently relieved at getting to uncontroversial facts, “and weighs in tonight at a perfectly-formed 229lbs; he is the reigning Cruiserweight Champion - THE SUPERIOR ONE... TOOOOOOOOOMMMM... FLEEESSSHHH-EEERRRRR!!”

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

Tom seems not to hear the abuse from the fans as he strikes a pose in the centre of the ring. Toxxic simply leans in the corner and glares at him but Flesher is equally unaffected by the straight-edger’s attitude and picks his warm-up suit off the canvas before tossing it over his shoulder... unerringly landing it on the rookie’s head! Toxxic rips it off and hurls it over the top rope before starting forwards to introduce his forearm to Flesher’s chin, but Anthony Michael Hall intersperses himself between the two men and speak sternly to the Straight-Edge Sensation.

 

“Tom Flesher is an arrogant, supercilious disgrace to humanity,” Comet declares. “Unfortunately, he is also an extremely talented athlete who has carved a reputation for himself by facing and defeating the best this company has to offer. I don’t need to list his achievements as his personalised ring introduction did that for me; one important point, however, is that should Citizen Flesher win the title here tonight he would only need to hold it for just over a month to break El Luchador Magnifico’s record for days as World Champion!”

 

“It will happen, Comet,” Riley says with confidence. “Just you watch. Tonight, Tom will prove that he is the best in ALL weight categories!”

 

“Perhaps Robert,” the masked man replies, “but he will not only have to get past the determined Toxxic - who defeated Flesher in singles competition a couple of weeks ago - but also the reigning world champion... and that will be no easy feat.”

 

As if in confirmation of Comet’s words all the lights in the arena suddenly dim except for the reds, which start to flash in time with an ominous buzzing alarm. The effect is that the entire crowd in the American Airlines Center have been bathed in blood, a disturbing prospect that may not be all that unlikely as the indistinct shapes on the Smarktron resolve into letters... and then, as a chilling bell rings out, into words.

 

[sTATUS: RELEASED!]

 

The chorus of Fear Factory’s ‘Resurrection’ echoes out over the arena, accompanied by a pair of spotlights that swing around the crowd as if searching. Blue pyrotechnics fountain from the rampsides, causing a rain of azure to sprinkle down, but the object of the search is not to be found in the crowd. Instead, his white hair and long trenchcoat taking on the colour of the lighting, a colour reflected in his unnatural eyes, the Hell Machine strides out through the cars with the World Heavyweight Title slung over his right shoulder. In the devastation of the Ground Zero set, he looks like nothing more than apocalypse incarnate.

 

Consumed with memories...

That preceded today...

Given a chance to bereave...

Life that's slipping AWAY!

 

The sheer power of Janus’ entrance stuns the crowd into a fearful silence. As he advances down the ramp the fountains sputter and die, seeming to mirror the opponents the giant vanquished on his way to the top.

 

Toxxic. Alan Clark and the Wayward Sons. Johnny Dangerous. Nathaniel Kibagami. Danny Williams.

 

“And their opponent,” Funyon’s voice booms out for the third time, “from Sydney, Australia; he stands at seven feet two inches and weighs in tonight at 360lbs; he is the reigning and defending SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION~! He is ‘The Hell Machine’... JAAAAAN-UUUUUSSSSSS!!”

 

“This man has always had the tools to rise to the top of the mountain,” Comet says as Janus starts to unfasten the title belt from around his waist. “The size, the power, the intelligence... it was all there. It’s a bitter shame that it is Janus who has achieved the pinnacle rather than Terrence Bailey.”

 

“Oh, please!” Riley snorts while the Hell Machine starts to strip his trenchcoat off. “You think that monotone, rule-abiding goody-goody two-shows would have had a chance at becoming World Champion?”

 

“Toxxic’s in this match Robert, and for all his faults he abides by the rules.”

 

“-and he has no chance of becoming World Champion, because Flesher’s in the match. Don’t you listen?”

 

Toxxic and Flesher stand in the ring almost side-by-side, watching the approaching world champion cautiously. The Straight-Edge Sensation doesn’t take his eye off the big Australian... at least, until Flesher suddenly turns and slams a Shotei into the side of his head! Toxxic staggers sideways, but Flesher is already following up and cracks another one into the rookie’s jaw before taking hold of Toxxic and bodily throwing him over the top rope! The straight-edger lands HARD on the outside and Flesher turns away with a satisfied expression on his face.

 

“What on earth is Tom Flesher doing?” Comet asks incredulously, but the superhero receives a partial answer as the Superior One beckons Janus into the ring!

 

“Beautiful!” Riley sighs, wiping a genuine tear from one cheek. “Tom has disposed of the upstart interloper and is now going to take the title from the World Champion in two straight falls! What a guy!”

 

Janus looks at Flesher with idle curiosity before stepping over the top rope and into the ring, and as he does so Michael Hall is finally able to get the match underway officially and calls for the bell.

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

“Surely you cannot believe that two Shoteis and a trip to the floor will be enough to keep Toxxic out of the rest of this match?” Comet asks in disbelief. “I will admit that he lacks the endurance of either of his opponents, but still-”

 

“-watch and learn, Comet.”

 

The Hell Machine surveys Flesher from his sixteen-inch vantage point. The two men are no strangers to each other, their days in the Magnificent Seven being easily recalled. Both know how they want to play this, so when Janus steps forward with his left foot and draws his right fist back for a Knucklebomb, Flesher is already moving. The Superior One ducks under the blow and dives for Janus’ right leg as the Hell Machine’s weight shifts onto his left in order to balance out the punch’s momentum, then hoists upwards. It’s no easy matter to get a man as big as Janus off his feet but the Australian finds himself balanced precariously on his left foot with arms flailing madly to try and remain upright. Flesher takes a moment to slam a Shotei into the back of the captured right knee, then twists and drops to drive his elbow into the back of it whilst retaining his grip on the ankle, forcing both men down to the mat with Janus’ kneecap taking the brunt of the impact.

 

‘ONE!’ Michael Hall bellows, keeping one eye on the action occurring in the ring whilst watching Toxxic on the outside.

 

Janus grunts in pain from the takedown and reaches out for the ropes - he knows how important it is to prevent Flesher from trapping him on the mat, but he is about as central in the ring as it is possible to be and even his impressive reach cannot aid him. Meanwhile Tom wrenches sideways on the captured right leg, seeking to twist the knee but also slapping a form of anklelock on the fallen giant. Janus grunts again but the response is less that Tom hoped for so he starts to make his way back to his feet again, careful at all times to prevent Janus’ leg from escaping his grip.

 

‘TWO!’

 

Now vertical again, Flesher carefully manoeuvres his right leg around Janus’ shin so that it is twisted in a manner similar to someone preparing for a Russian Leg Sweep, although at right angles. He then abruptly drops backwards and uses all his weight to put pressure on the knee, and this time he is rewarded with a much more satisfying groan of pain from the massive Hell Machine! However, this position enables Janus to roll over onto his back and lash out with his left foot at Flesher’s head, causing the Superior One to duck backwards smartly.

 

‘THREE!’

 

Having missed with his first attempt Janus tries again, and this time Flesher has to raise his hands to try and block the enormous boot heading his way. The force of the impact still knocks him back, and to avoid losing the initiative completely the Superior One releases his leglock on the champion’s right leg and rolls away, coming to his feet smoothly and awaiting his next chance. Janus tries to get back upright again but the moment he starts to stand Flesher darts in and drives two Doc Martens into the Hell Machine’s right knee with an audible cracking sound and sending Janus tumbling back to the mat, clutching his leg again!

 

‘FOUR!’

 

The cameras briefly cut to the outside of the ring where Toxxic was lying, but the Straight-Edge Sensation is no longer there. Instead the rookie has recovered from his unscheduled trip over the top rope and is standing on the arena floor, leaning on the ring apron and intently watching the action unfolding in the ring. And as the cameras switch back to a shot of the ring they see Tom Flesher cautiously backing into the ropes with his eyes fixed on the struggling Janus, before darting forwards and slamming his shoulder into the back of the Hell Machine’s right knee with a crisp chop block! The big Australian tumbles to the mat again with frustration mixed with pain visible in his burning red eyes, and Tom Flesher smiles smugly to himself before rising back to his feet and backing off once more.

 

‘FIVE!’

 

Like all the best professionals Tom Flesher doesn’t take his eye off the ball - or in this case, the psychopath - as he sets up his next move, carefully adjusting his positioning so that he can approach from outside the Hell Machine’s arc of vision and minimise the chance of failure... but in his single-minded concentration, Tom has forgotten one thing; namely, that there’s another person in this match, and it was Tom himself who threw him out to the arena floor. So when Janus starts to rise again and Tom throws himself forward for another chop block he is completely unaware until too late of the black-nailed hand that snakes through the ropes and catches his ankle, upsetting his balance and sending him stumbling forward to crash headlong into the mat.

 

‘SI-’

 

Toxxic rolls into the ring and flashes a grin at Michael Hall, then quickly rolls out again. And as he hears the impact of Flesher on canvas Janus turns like some vengeful god, finally given a target to vent his wrath upon.

 

“Get up Tom!” Bobby Riley yells from the commentary table. “Run away! Run away!”

 

Flesher recovers almost immediately from his unfortunate tumble, but ‘almost’ doesn’t cut it in the SWF and as he tries to regain his bearings he finds a fingerless-gloved hand closing around his throat, lifting him back to his feet. Michael Hall warns the Hell Machine about his choking grip on the Superior One, but Janus has much more immediately violent plans in store anyway. He takes Flesher’s left wrist and goes to Irish whip his opponent towards the far turnbuckle, but halfway through the motion the champ realises that with his throbbing knee there’s no guarantee that he’ll be able to catch the Superior One again after letting him get out of reach. Instead of crashing into the turnbuckles therefore, Flesher’s arm nearly gets wrenched out of its socket as Janus reverses the direction of the whip and pulls Tom back into him, looking to nail his opponent with a shortarm clothesline. Flesher’s lack of height in comparison to his towering opponent comes to his aid however, and he nimbly ducks under the blow before scooting behind Janus and slapping on a rear waistlock. His attempts to lift the monstrous Hell Machine are doomed to failure though, and it is the work of a moment for Janus to send his right elbow crashing back into Flesher’s temple.

 

‘ONE!’ Hall shouts again, as Toxxic continues to watch from the outside.

 

Flesher wobbles around in a half-circle from the blow to the head and Janus turns like a shark that smells blood. The towering champion drops to one knee, slips his head underneath Flesher’s left armpit and takes a firm grip on the Superior One’s left leg before standing back up, managing to ignore the twinge from his right knee as he does so. The Hell Machine smiles grimly as Flesher dangles over his shoulders in a torture rack position, then twists his upper body to one side to wind up the Towerhacker Bomb... but Tom Flesher’s head has cleared and the Buffalo native knows that the one place he does not want to be is on the receiving end of this move. So as Janus spins him off his shoulders Tom desperately grabs onto the big man’s left arm and twists his body, the momentum given to him by the Hell Machine ironically allowing him to take even Janus’ massive bulk over with an armdrag!

 

‘What amazing awareness!” Riley gushes as Hall yells out ‘TWO!’ in the background. “What superb ring ability! Comet, is there any man in the world more suitable to be world champion?”

 

“Robert, I truly believe that anyone capable of winning this match will deserve the title,” the masked man replies. “I reserve the right to cheer unceasingly when Dace Night or someone equally deserving takes it from him though.”

 

The Dallas crowd don’t like Tom Flesher, but a good half of them were impressed enough by his improvisational abilities to applaud that last move - and at ringside, Toxxic joins in mockingly. Somehow the straight-edger’s contribution catches Flesher’s attention and the Superior One briefly turns his head to see the source of the noise. His eyes narrow as he finally has time to realise who must have tripped him earlier... and the half-second of distraction is enough for the rising Janus.

 

*WHAM!*

 

Knucklebomb.

 

‘TWO!’

 

“Toxxic you coward!” Riley yells. “Get in the ring and help Tom!”

 

Toxxic appears to have no such intention however, and the Straight-Edge Sensation merely laughs as Flesher crumples from the force of the impact. This time the Superior One is a little slower in shaking the cobwebs out of his head and before he can rise under his own steam Janus is already pulling him up. The Hell Machine buries two right hands deep into Flesher’s midsection, blasting the breath from his opponent’s lungs, then wraps his arms around the winded Superior One and hoists him up and sideways before drilling him down with a mighty belly-to-belly suplex!

 

“Citizen Janus is developing his own strategy here,” Comet notes. “Tom Flesher has gone for Janus’ legs as he tends to do against big men, but the Hell Machine appear to be trying to weaken Flesher’s midsection. This will not only set up the Hell Crush but will lessen Citizen Flesher’s ability to lock in many of the submission holds and amateur techniques he is famous for.”

 

“And what strategy is Toxxic using?” Riley asks sarcastically.

 

‘THREE!’

 

“Toxxic... appears to be using the strategy of not getting hit.”

 

Janus hauls Flesher up again, red eyes blazing, and hoists his breathless opponent up onto his shoulders in the torture rack position again. Once more he winds up and once more Flesher goes spinning through the air... but this time the Superior One isn’t in any condition to counter, and he gets driven backfirst into the canvas!

 

*BANG!!*

 

Janus leans forward, pressing Flesher’s shoulders down, and Michael Hall drops to make the count...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...but Flesher kicks out just after the two count! Remembering his other duty, Michael Hall turns and points a finger at Toxxic on the outside to continue his count...

 

‘FOU-’

 

...but Toxxic is no longer there! Instead the Straight-Edge Sensation is crouched in the ring behind Janus, poised for when the Australian starts to rise... and when he does Toxxic darts forwards and slams a basement dropkick into the Hell Machine’s head, knocking him sideways before rolling out under the bottom rope again.

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“What sort of gameplan is that?” Riley asks, although with less venom than before as Toxxic’s intervention looks like it might give Flesher a chance to get back on the ascendancy.

 

“A sensible one, I must admit,” Comet replies. “Toxxic is staying out of the way and didn’t even interfere in that pin attempt as having either of his opponents go down by one pinfall can only benefit him. However he seems to want to make sure that neither Flesher or Janus get too much control.”

 

“Come on Tom! Take his legs away!” Riley cheers on his man as the Superior One starts to push himself onto all fours while Janus starts to sit up, holding the side of his head.

 

‘ONE!’

 

“Then again,” Comet says thoughtfully, “Toxxic may be injuring his own chances with this tactic - we’ve seen Flesher go for the legs and Janus for the ribs and back, but Toxxic’s favoured moves don’t focus on either of those areas. So if he takes over at a later stage he’d be facing two softened-up opponents, but not in a way that could help him win!”

 

“Tom Flesher is never soft,” Riley argues. “He’s always hard. Rock hard.”

 

“Merciful Zeus...”

 

The arguably-hard Flesher is moving, and while Janus is still sitting up and trying to clear his head the Superior One latches onto his right leg again. Flesher tugs backwards to get the big man a little more off-balance before grabbing the left leg and starting to spin, looking to set up a Figure-Four on the right leg... but Janus draws back his right boot and places it firmly on Flesher’s backside, then before Bobby Riley can even start drooling he thrusts forward with all his might and shoves the Superior One away from him!

 

“...what a waste...” Riley mutters.

 

‘TWO!’

 

Flesher catches himself and turns back to face the Hell Machine who is still pushing himself up, then darts forwards again. Tom Flesher isn’t the speediest man on the face of the planet but against an unbalanced Janus he has the opposition bang to rights, and while Janus is still on one knee Flesher’s right Doc Marten crashes into the side of his head with a brutal Yakuza Kick! The Hell Machine falls back down to the mat again but Flesher doesn’t even consider continuing to work the head - instead he uses the opportunity to grab Janus’ right leg and drop an elbow into it, focusing once more on the right knee.

 

‘THREE!’

 

Janus groans in pain again and reaches forwards, but his head is still scrambled by the consecutive shots and he can only manage a weak groping motion before falling backwards again. Tom wrenches on the leg as much as he can but most of the move’s effect comes from the initial impact and he rises back to his feet again, looking to drop the elbow one more time. The cessation of pain registers in Janus’ brain and the Hell Machine looks up, red eyes narrowing as he sees Flesher take a moment to wave at the crowd before flexing his elbow out and dropping again...

 

*WHAM!!*

 

...straight into Janus’ left foot, which lashes up into the back of Flesher’s head as he falls. The Superior One rolls bonelessly away and Janus starts to sit up. His right knee is painful but a quick test shows that it is capable of bearing his weight, and as the Dallas crowd watches the Hell Machine rises up to his full imposing height.

 

‘FOUR!’

 

“JAN-US SUCKS!”

 

“JAN-US SUCKS!”

 

“JAN-US SUCKS!”

 

Janus limps forward and grabs Flesher by the back of the neck, then braces himself and starts to lift the Superior One off the mat. The strength in his arms is there but his right knee is a bit shaky; nevertheless once Flesher is more or less vertical the Hell Machine places his hands under his opponent’s body and exerts himself further, hoisting his opponent bodily up into the air until he holds Flesher horizontally overhead in a press slam! Grimacing at the stress on his right knee but determined to punish the guilty party Janus presses the Superior One once... twice... three times... then simply throws him up and lets him drop straight down to the canvas!

 

*BANG!!*

 

‘FIVE!’

 

Janus turns and starts to bend down, perhaps to roll Flesher over onto his back for a pin... but the big Australian stops and straightens again, looking around until he sees Toxxic. The Straight-Edge Sensation is leaning on the ring apron again and watching the action with interest, but Janus points a finger directly at him with anger in his eyes.

 

“GET IN HERE, YOU LITTLE BITCH!”

 

The grin falls from Toxxic’s face as if the Hell Machine had slapped it off himself.

 

‘SIX!’

 

Toxxic rolls under the bottom rope and bounces upright, cracking his neck from side-to-side. Janus beckons the straight-edger in, and with a seemingly suicidal disregard for his own safety Toxxic complies.

 

“Citizen Janus showing his fiendish intelligence once more,” Comet notes. “He knows that Toxxic cannot stand being seen as weak, and he has manipulated the straight-edger into the ring in order to prevent him from playing his waiting game any more.”

 

“I’d love to manipulate Tom’s-”

 

”ROBERT RILEY, IF YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU THE SMACKING YOUR MAMMY NEVER HAD THE HEART TO!”

 

Janus lunges forward, but Toxxic is far quicker and the Hell Machine is slowed by his dodgy knee. The Straight-Edge Sensation ducks and rolls under the champion’s grasp and heads for the far side of the ring, then jumps up to the second rope and springboards back with a dropkick that catches Janus square in the chest! The impact only staggers the big Australian but Toxxic is back up to his feet in an instant and he darts sideways, jumping off the second rope again and this time wrapping his arm around the Hell Machine’s neck to bring the champion down with a modified Straight-Edge neckbreaker!

 

“YOU BOTH SUCK!”

 

“YOU BOTH SUCK!”

 

“YOU BOTH SUCK!”

 

Toxxic scrambles over into a mount position and starts raining right hands down on the monstrous Hell Machine, but Janus simply reaches up to grab the straight-edger’s waist and uses his immense power to send Toxxic sprawling forwards. The rookie skids across the ring but pops back up to his feet and waits as Janus starts to rise. The world champion turns in search of his slippery opponent but Toxxic is already moving and follows in Tom Flesher’s footsteps by slamming a basement dropkick into the Hell Machine’s weakened right knee! Janus roars in pain and drops back to one knee, reaching out with his right arm to steady himself, and Toxxic sees his chance to move in. The Straight-Edge Sensation rears back with his right hand to start pummelling the world champion’s face square between those burning red eyes…

 

*WHAP*

 

…and finds a black fingerless glove clamped around his throat.

 

“What a rookie mistake!” Comet exclaims as the growling Hell Machine tightens his grip. “For all his promise Toxxic is not immune from miscalculating on occasion, and while Janus’ leg may be weakened his upper body is still as deadly as ever!”

 

Michael Hall starts his five-count and the reality of the situation filters down into Janus’ red-tinged consciousness. As much as he would like to squeeze Toxxic until the straight-edger’s eyes pop out he cannot do that without being disqualified, and in this situation that would put him at risk of losing his title off a second fall. Of course, Janus reflects briefly, two consecutive disqualifications would allow him to keep his title and choke out both Flesher and Toxxic… but after Tom Flesher’s arrogant use of the ADF II and the rookie’s annoyingly evasive antics what he really wants to do is drop them both on their heads and humiliate them. So with one leviathan surge Janus powers himself up, propelled mainly by his left leg, and extends his right arm to hoist Toxxic’s 218lbs high into the air for a massive chokeslam…

 

*WHAM!!*

 

…but with a speed born of desperation Toxxic simply lashes out with his right leg as he reaches the apex of his journey. It’s not exactly a gamengiri and not exactly an enzuigiri, but what it does do is kick Janus very hard in the head and loosens his grip enough for Toxxic to drop to the canvas is a more controlled manner and roll away from the momentarily-dazed Hell Machine! Janus shakes his head to clear it and advances towards the straight-edger but Toxxic leaps up and plants another dropkick into the Australian’s chest. The blow staggers the champion but he doesn’t go over - until Tom Flesher reaches up from between his legs and takes the unbalanced Janus over with a schoolboy pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but Janus kicks out with authority and throws Flesher away!

 

“What superb tactics from Tom!” Riley exclaims in delight. “He let the monster and the spot-monkey go at it while he recovered from Janus’ earlier underhanded attacks!”

 

“There was nothing underhanded about Citizen Janus’ attacks,” Comet states, evidently uncomfortable at defending the Hell Machine but determined to prove Riley wrong anyway, “and don’t let your Flesher-Per-Minute obsession convince you otherwise!”

 

“But Comet,” Riley protests as both Flesher and Janus start to rise to their feet, “after tonight Tom will be both Cruiserweight AND World Heavyweight Champions! Imagine the Flesher-Per-Minute ratio then!”

 

While Cyclone Comet struggles to avoid doing exactly that the action in the ring continues as Tom Flesher moves in to slam a Shotei into the side of Janus’ head. It rattles the Hell Machine’s marbles a little but no more, and before Flesher can try again Janus simply places his massive left hand on the Superior One’s barrel chest and shoves him away! Janus rises to his full height as Toxxic comes running in from the other direction but the Australian hears him approach and turns to raise one massive boot, sending it directly into the straight-edger’s face…

 

…but Janus instinctively raised his right boot, and although the impact sends Toxxic crashing back-first to the mat it also jars the Hell Machine’s injured knee again. Janus cries out and clutches his knee as he lowers it, and Tom Flesher darts in from behind him to take the champion down with another crisp chop block! Janus knows some sort of submission move is likely to come next, and even through the pain he manages to reach out towards the ropes in an attempt to head Flesher off at the pass. For his part the Superior One takes a firm grip on Janus’ right leg and attempts to haul his massive opponent back into the centre of the ring… but has to break off as the pain in his ribs prevents him from shifting the Hell Machine’s 360lbs! Janus tries to power himself forward to the ropes again but the undaunted Flesher grabs the champion’s other leg as well, twists them around and falls backwards to lock in an Inverted Figure-Four!

 

“THAT’S CED’S MOVE!”

 

“THAT’S CED’S MOVE!”

 

“THAT’S CED’S MOVE!”

 

“The fans here in the American Airline Center are on the ball tonight,” Comet observes as Janus roars in pain again. “That hold was perfected by current Wayward Son member Ced Ordonez as the Cross Lightning - Citizen Flesher only picked it up through teaming with Frost against the Bermani Cross Wizard.”

 

“But Tom’s version takes Ced’s, licks it soundly and sends it whimpering back to its gimp-masked master with its tail between its proverbial legs,” Riley declares stoutly.

 

“…sometimes I worry about you, Bobbo.”

 

Flesher leans back and applies as much leverage as he can to the Hell Machine’s injured knee in an effort to get the early submission; as much as he dislikes Toxxic the prospect of beginning his third World Title reign by taking it from the champion has a certain appeal, and making Janus tap out - twice, preferably - would only add to the immense prestige. Flesher grins tightly as another thought occurs to him; how wound up would Dace Night would get if Tom managed to injure Janus and take away the ‘monster’ for Horrorcore’s ‘hero’? With that pleasing thought in his head the Superior One attempts to increase the pressure and hyperextend the Hell Machine’s knee… but Janus has other ideas. Despite the searing pain in his leg the big Australian’s mighty upper body is still mobile, and while the ropes are currently out of even his impressive reach Janus plans on taking steps to rectify that. The champion grits his teeth, flexes his biceps and raises himself off the canvas to lessen the friction, then inch by painful inch he starts pulling himself towards the ropes!

 

“What incredible strength from Citizen Janus!” Comet exclaims in awe. “His two smaller opponents have largely managed to outmanoeuvre him so far in this match, but for sheer power there is no-one to match him in the SWF!”

 

“I won’t mention Eddy J if you don’t,” Riley mutters.

 

“See that you don’t, miscreant.”

 

Flesher tries to halt Janus’ progress across the ring but there is only a limited amount he can do whilst keeping the leg lock on and the Superior One feels himself being dragged closer and closer to the ring ropes. He throws his body backwards in an attempt to cinch the hold in tighter and slow the Hell Machine down through sheer pain, but although Janus growls a little bit louder his pace does not falter... and finally the Australian stretches out one black-gloved hand to clasp the bottom rope and cause Michael Hall to call for the break!

 

‘ONE!’

 

Flesher grits his teeth and tries to tighten his grip.

 

‘TWO!’

 

Michael Hall waves his fingers in the Superior One’s face in a futile attempt to make him release his grip.

 

‘THREE!’

 

Tom grins tightly up at the official and says the word along with him, completely ignoring any semblance of fair play.

 

‘FOUR!’

 

A grin of his own begins to spread across Michael Hall’s face as he looks forward to the moment when he can finally disqualify Tom Flesher for pushing his luck too far...

 

‘FI-’

 

...but Flesher releases his hold just before the vital five count and rolls away from the grounded world champion.

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

“Sublime judgement,” Riley murmurs appreciatively.

 

“Knowing how far you can bend the rules does not count as sublime judgement!” Comet snaps.

 

“A rose by any other name...” Riley responds. “Face it Comet - Tom Flesher’s ‘Superior Tactics’ are the reason he is head and shoulders above all competition. Even those who are seven-foot tall.”

 

Janus is starting to pull himself up on the ropes, but his right knee does not want to know. Meanwhile Flesher is aware that there is a third man in the match and turns to look for him ut Toxxic is only just rising himself, the big boot to the head having scrambled his brains. With a muttered curse that he has to expend energy on the rookie when he could be further destroying the Hell Machine’s ligaments Tom Flesher roughly clamps a front facelock on and drags the Straight-Edge Sensation towards the middle of the ring.

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

The Dallas fans are really getting on the Superior One’s case, but Flesher just drinks in the attention anyway. He throws Toxxic’s right arm over his head, grabs the rookie’s trousers and hoists him up before turning him chest-to-chest for the Superiority Complex - but Toxxic squirms in midair and floats over, coming down behind the startled Flesher! He pushes the Superior One in the back and turns to run for the ropes, rebounding as Flesher swivels around and launching himself into the air for a spinning heelkick... but Flesher ducks!

 

“YOU BOTH SUCK!”

 

“YOU BOTH SUCK!”

 

“YOU BOTH SUCK!”

 

Toxxic skids across the mat on landing but manages to stop his momentum before he gets entangled in the far ring ropes. Tom Flesher is already advancing on him but the straight-edger takes a leaf out of the Superior One’s book and simply drives his boot into Flesher’s kneecap, giving him a moment more to regain his footing as Tom staggers back. Flesher throws a Shotei but Toxxic ducks and slams his fist into Tom’s ribs - the impact is not immense but it stops Tom in his tracks due to the beating they’ve already taken from Janus. The straight-edger then pops up again and starts throwing punches at Flesher’s head in his own signature pattern...

 

RIGHT!

 

 

LEFT!

 

 

RIGHT!

 

 

LEFT!

 

 

Windup...

 

 

...Flesher knows what’s coming next even through the barrage of punches, and just like in their singles match he ducks his head in anticipation of the discus clothesline-

 

*CRUNCH-WHAM!!*

 

-but Toxxic knows that Flesher has him scouted, and as the Superior One drops his head the British rookie’s double-bluff is revealed as he hits him with the facecrusher/DDT combo known as the Sobering Thought!

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

Janus is up. Toxxic sees the behemoth finally rise from the corner of his eye and clambers back to his feet, but the champion only grabs half-heartedly at him as he advances towards the fallen Tom Flesher. Toxxic scoots out of the way and Janus limps over to his former tormentor with an evil glint in his red eyes (as if there could be any other sort). The Hell Machine leans down, ready to exact punishment on the Superior One... but then Toxxic reappears and kicks him hard in the back of the right knee!

 

“I think someone didn’t like being called a ‘little bitch’,” Comet murmurs.

 

‘Thank you Toxxic!” Riley babbles. “I knew you couldn’t leave Tom at the mercy of that monster! You’re not a spot-monkey, you’re a decent, competent wrestler!”

 

The pain causes Janus to involuntarily pull his leg away, an unbalancing movement that isn’t helped by Toxxic wrapping his hands around the Australian’s forehead from behind and sitting out into the Underkill! The Straight-Edge Sensation bounces back up again, grinning lopsidedly... but before he takes any further action against the champion the memory of having beer forcibly poured down his throat rears its ugly head and he takes a moment to kick the rising Tom Flesher in the head and send him rolling into the corner!

 

“You treacherous little bastard!” Riley bawls on commentary. “You can’t wrestle for shit! You’re a spot-monkey, you hear me!? A fucking spot monkey!!”

 

“Robert...”

 

“If they took the top rope away you’d be fucked like-”

 

“ROBERT!”

 

“Well, it’s true,” Riley sulks.

 

Janus is on his hands and knees already and starting to rise, so Toxxic does his (fairly negligible) best to help him up before slamming his forearm up into the Hell Machine’s jaw with a European uppercut. The blow doesn’t do much more than make the straight-edger’s arm ache, but nevertheless he grabs Janus’ wrist and tries to haul the big man into an Irish whip.

 

Unfortunately for Toxxic, Janus is in no mood to be manoeuvred around the ring. He takes one step before his right leg buckles underneath him, and although he narrowly manages to remain upright he uses the change of momentum to reverse the whip and send Toxxic into the ropes instead. The Straight-Edge Sensation is helpless to resist in the face of the Hell Machine’s mighty strength, and as he rebounds off the cables he is met by the lowered shoulder of the world champion that hoists him up, leaves him dangling like a rag doll for a second...

 

*WHAM!!*

 

...then smashes him down with back-mangling impact in a high-angle spinebuster! Even though Janus tries to avoid hitting his own knee on the landing he can’t avoid jarring it a bit, and the second or two it takes him to recover from the pain prevents him from making the pin straight away. Nevertheless, Toxxic is still gasping like a landed fish as the Hell Machine rolls over to hook the far leg...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-

-but Toxxic manages to spasm a shoulder off the canvas, with possibly only those couple of grace seconds coming between him and losing a fall! Janus growls in irritation and shoots a threatening glance at Michael Hall but the referee remains firm, and the champion grudgingly starts to pull himself and his limp opponent up. Tom Flesher has now got back to his feet but merely watches from the sidelines as Janus pulls Toxxic upright, not eager to interrupt without good reason. And that reason isn’t quick to emerge, as Janus wraps both of his massive arms around Toxxic’s slight frame and begins to squeeze!

 

“Hell Crush!” Comet yells. “Toxxic is trapped, and at this stage of the match Tom Flesher will have no problems with watching Citizen Janus pick up a fall at the rookie’s expense! Toxxic is going to have to fight out of this one without help, and against the Hell Machine’s grip I don’t think that’s possible!”

 

Toxxic groans in pain as he feels his ribs compressed and his lungs tightening under the enormous pressure being exerted by the world champion’s arms. He desperately tries headbutting the giant in the face, but Janus simply leans his head back slightly and laughs at the straight-edger’s pitiful efforts. With pain increasing and oxygen rapidly disappearing Toxxic simply lashes out with his legs - and his left boot cracks directly into Janus’ right knee.

 

The impact causes a spasm of pain to pass through the Hell Machine, and despite his best efforts his grip slackens slightly. Sensing his chance Toxxic kicks again, and with a roar of pain Janus simply hurls the rookie from him and leans down to grab his knee... but once more the opportunistic Tom Flesher takes him over from behind with a schoolboy! Janus fights to prevent his shoulders being pinned to the mat and for a moment it looks as if the champion will be able to fight out, but then Flesher changes his angle of attack and grabs both of the Australian’s legs! Janus tries to fight this as well, but Tom Flesher didn’t become two-time World Champion by giving up easily and he manages to lock the Hell Machine’s left foot into the crook of his right knee... then twists his opponent over onto his front and sits down into the Superior Stretch!

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

“FLESH-ER SUCKS!”

 

Janus yells in pain as Flesher sits back in the hold, gritting his teeth at the effort of keeping the Hell Machine’s huge legs constrained. The Superior One has the hold locked in tight but the strain is telling on his ribs, and Janus hasn’t given up yet. With his face locked in a grimace of pain and concentration the champion flexes his arms... and even though it increases the pressure on his tortured leg he pushes himself off the canvas and starts to make for the ropes, stretching out with one black-gloved hand.

 

 

His fingers are four feet away.

 

 

Three feet.

 

 

Two feet, and a vein in Flesher’s forehead looks fit to burst from the combined effort of keeping the hold locked in and trying to prevent the Hell Machine’s progress across the mat. The Superior One desperately tries to get more leverage...

 

*WHAM!!*

 

...and Toxxic drives a basement dropkick into the side of Janus’ head, knocking him sideways.

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

Flesher looks round at the rookie sitting on the mat, clutching his ribs and glaring at the dazed Hell Machine, grins and tries to tighten his grip. Janus stretches out with his hand again, but the blow not only knocked him off course but also seemed to shake his head up. His desperate attempts to reach the ropes are weaker, and after a few seconds of non-movement he sinks down under the pressure of the hold. Then the hand raises again, stretching for the ropes that remain out of reach...

 

*TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP!*

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

Edited August 2, 2004 by realitycheck

[the.weej 0]

“The loser of the first fall, by submission; JANUS!” Funyon booms as Flesher releases his grip and falls forward to the mat. “Janus now has one fall against him!”

 

On his hands and knees, Tom Flesher grins. The first part of his gameplan went well, and if he can make the Hell Machine tap once then it will be even easier to do it again...

 

“YOU TAPPED OUT!”

 

“YOU TAPPED OUT!”

 

“YOU TAPPED OUT!”

 

Suddenly Toxxic dives across the Superior One’s shoulders, hooking him for an Oklahoma Roll on the way past!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...but Flesher kicks out, and knowing that Toxxic likes to go for a series of roll-ups in a row he drives forwards the moment his feet touch the canvas to take the rookie down to the mat with a blast double-leg before Toxxic can start moving again. The impact into his Hell-Crushed ribs causes the Straight-Edge Sensation to writhe in pain as he hits the mat, and Flesher wastes no time in covering him for a quick pin of his own...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...but Michael Hall only finds two as Toxxic gets his shoulder up! Flesher curses, sneaks a look over his shoulder at Janus and finds the big man pulling himself up on the ropes again. The Superior One rises back to his feet and circles to approach from behind the giant who at the moment is concentrating merely on standing - and Flesher comes in to take his right leg out again with yet another chop block!

 

“Tom Flesher’s diligence in adhering to this gameplan is breathtaking,” Riley states in a satisfied tone of voice as the Hell Machine crumples, losing his grip on the ropes and collapsing into the middle of the ring. “He’ll have the title won in no time!”

 

“If he gets the Superior Stretch locked on again I might be agreeing with you,” Comet tells his broadcast partner as Flesher pounces on the stricken giant, seeking to hook his legs up once more.

 

Janus fights for all he’s worth, but even though he knows what’s coming this time his right leg is badly damaged and he can’t prevent the Superior One from locking the hold in for a second time. Flesher twists his body, using all the leverage he can to get the Hell Machine over onto his front.... and sits back into the Superior Stretch!

 

“Tap!” Riley yells. “Tap, you overgrown convict!”

 

Janus’ hand reaches out vainly for the ropes again, but they are even further away this time and his leg is even more damaged than before. The monstrous Hell Machine grits his teeth, determined not to lose the title by tapping out twice in straight falls - and Toxxic hits the ropes behind Flesher, rebounds off and sails by the Superior One, snagging his head to take him down with a facebuster on the way past!

 

*BANG!!*

 

“Toxxic broke the hold, and kept both him and Janus in the match in the process,” Comet calls. “The next person to get a fall on Janus will win the World Title, and Toxxic is determined that it is going to be him!”

 

Sure enough, Toxxic has now grabbed hold of Janus’ legs as well. The huge Australian would normally be able to swat the rookie away with no trouble but Janus’ right leg can’t even kick now and he is helpless to resist as Toxxic desperately searches through his limited mat wrestling knowledge for options. After a couple of seconds the rookie places his right foot in the crook of Janus’ right knee, takes a firm grip on the Hell Machine’s ankle and sits back in a half crab-type position, the unorthodox method looking anything but slick but still causing Janus to groan in pain and reach once more for the ever-elusive ropes.

 

“YOU TAPPED OUT!”

 

“YOU TAPPED OUT!”

 

“YOU TAPPED OUT!”

 

“Come on Tom, get up and stop him!” Riley yells at his idol. “Don’t let him steal your title!”

 

“Citizen Flesher may have outsmarted himself here,” Comet notes in vague excitement, “as he may have weakened Janus’ leg so much that even someone of Toxxic’s debatable mat skills can pick up a submission win instead of having to work the head, which is his usual target!”

 

Not this time, however. Flesher gets back to his feet following the facebuster in anything but a good move and looking for someone to hurt. Toxxic sees his rival regaining his feet and abandons his compromising position by releasing his hold on Janus’ leg, causing the Hell Machine to roll to one side and clutch his throbbing knee in a desperate attempt to relieve the pain. Flesher casts a brief glance at the retreating Australian and notes his position, evidently planning to slap a submission on at the first chance he gets, then turns back to Toxxic and closes in.

 

“YOU ALL SUCK!”

 

“YOU ALL SUCK!”

 

“YOU ALL SUCK!”

 

“You know, for a main event where all three participants are hated by the fans we haven’t done too badly in selling this place out,” Riley comments.

 

“It’s the strength of the undercard,” Comet replies.

 

Flesher shoots low and goes for another double-leg but Toxxic skips back and to the side, causing the Superior One to check his lunge and readjust. He doesn’t manage to prevent Toxxic firing off a kick at his conveniently-placed head - but he does manage to twist and catch the boot, grinning smugly at the rookie! Tom rises back to his feet and shifts his grip, possibly in preparation for a dragon screw, but Toxxic leaps into the air and whips his other foot at Flesher’s head with a vicious enzuigiri!

 

*whhff*

 

Which doesn’t hit. Tom ducks and the boot sails harmlessly overhead, but Toxxic manages to twist his body and catch himself before he falls facefirst to the mat, then balances on his hands and lashes up and back with a mulekick that catches Flesher square in the jaw! The Superior One tumbles backwards clutching at his face and Toxxic pushes himself back up again... then mimes cracking open a can.

 

“Toxxic just signalled for the Caffeine Bomb!” Comet gasps as the straight-edger takes a ‘swig’ whilst watching Flesher climb to his feet. “We could be seeing two falls in quick succession here!”

 

“No,” Riley replies shortly. “Firstly, Toxxic isn’t going to be pinning Tom. Secondly, Tom is only trying to get Toxxic out of the way so he can make Janus submit again, but Toxxic has got caught up in the futile pursuit of trying to prove that he is superior to the Superior One.”

 

Comet coughs, an expulsion of air that sounds suspiciously like ‘Buffalo’.

 

“That didn’t count! He had a head cold!”

 

Flesher turns in search of his opponent, but only finds a foot driven into his gut by the Straight-Edge Sensation. Toxxic grabs the wheezing Flesher and clamps on a front facelock, then takes another ‘swig’ and throws the imaginary can over his shoulder - but the moment of showboating costs the arrogant rookie, as Tom takes the opportunity to slam a Shotei into his ribs! The impact causes Toxxic to loosen his grip and Flesher wriggles out backwards, drawing back his hand for another Shotei…

 

…and both men are flattened as Janus comes in from right angles to take them down with a double clothesline!

 

“JAN-US SUCKS!”

 

“JAN-US SUCKS!”

 

“JAN-US SUCKS!”

 

The Hell Machine leans against the ropes, pain mingling with fury in his blazing red eyes. His right knee is bordering on useless now and it was only because they were so absorbed in each other that neither Toxxic or Flesher were able to avoid his lumbering charge a moment ago; he needs to even the odds in this match, and he needs to do it soon. With that thought in mind the huge Australian prepares himself, flexing his fingers in anticipation. Flesher is first to his feet, and the Hell Machine’s left hand clamps around his windpipe before the Superior One is even aware of what’s going on. Toxxic rises a moment later, and receives the same treatment. For a moment Janus just stands there, both of his opponents clutching desperately at the massive hands around their throats, cocky rookie just as helpless as egotistical veteran… and then Janus lifts.

 

Both men are hoisted high into the air. Both are driven back down again with all the force the Hell Machine’s body can muster.

 

*WHAM!!*

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“JAN-US!”

 

“JAN-US!”

 

“JAN-US!”

 

A double chokeslam always pops the crowd, but Janus hasn’t escaped unscathed either. He tried to avoid using his right knee on the lift, an effort helped by the fact that the lighter Toxxic was in his right hand, but the pain registered the moment the Straight-Edge Sensation left the ground and as Janus dropped to drive his opponents back to the mat his injured right leg made contact as well. So once more the Hell Machine loses a second or two in his own private agony before he can manoeuvre his massive bulk on top of Tom Flesher for a pin…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-

-but Flesher isn’t done yet, and the Superior One kicks out! Without wasting a second Janus simply rolls over, wincing as his knee presses on the mat, and drapes a huge arm over Toxxic’s body in a bid to get a pin on the Straight-Edge Sensation instead!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-

-but the extra few seconds mean that Toxxic can force his shoulder up to break the count, and the champion comes away empty-handed again! Janus roars in frustration and pounds his hand on the mat as Tom Flesher rolls away to the corner of the ring, clutching his midsection.

 

“Citizens, this match has developed in a very interesting manner,” Comet declares. “Citizen Janus relies on his big power moves, but he now lacks a stable base to execute them from.”

 

“Yeah, ‘cos we all know how ‘stable’ Janus is…” Riley mutters.

 

“Citizen Flesher, whose technical wrestling skills allowed him to do the damage to the Hell Machine’s leg, now has to contend with injured ribs that will surely interfere with his ability to perform his mat wrestling with the crispness that we have become accustomed to,” the superhero continues, “and Toxxic’s high-risk aerial style will be limited by the damage done to his midsection, not only by making his offence more difficult to perform but also increasing the dangers of missing so that the disadvantages may outweigh the potential gains! All in all, we have a very intriguing strategic match here from the perspective of a neutral observer.”

 

“Meanwhile, those of us wanting Tom to win are wondering why Michael Hall didn’t award the title to the Superior One after Janus’ use of a blatant choke!” Riley complains with a note of hysteria in his voice.

 

Janus grabs Toxxic and starts to haul him up, grabbing the top rope in one hand to act as an anchoring point in the absence of an effective right leg. The rookie is still groggy from the chokeslam and doesn’t resist as the Hell Machine pushes him towards the centre of the ring, perhaps looking to wrap the Hell Crush around him again… but Tom Flesher doesn’t want to wait any longer for his third World Title, and while Janus’ back is turned to him he pulls himself up in the corner and runs forward, lashing out with his left foot to clip the back of the champion’s right knee! Janus cries out and collapses backwards, and with his main support suddenly gone Toxxic does likewise in the opposite direction. Flesher turns with a gleeful (if battered) look on his face and leans down over Janus’ legs in preparation of locking in the Superior Stretch, but Janus desperately reaches up and grabs for the Superior One’s throat with his massive hands. In the face of such a frenzied defensive tactic Flesher can’t lean down quite far enough to get the leverage necessary to lock the move on in case he finds himself being choked, and the Buffalo native stalls for a moment to see if Janus’ energy dies down… and as he does so, two hands grip the back of his head and Toxxic sits out in a neckbreaker!

 

“Toxxic does not want that move applied a second time!” Comet points out, somewhat redundantly. “At this stage of the match it would almost certainly lead to a virtually instant tap-out from Citizen Janus, and the rookie’s chance would be gone!”

 

Flesher rolls across the mat clutching the back of his neck, but Toxxic is still not fully recovered from the chokeslam and pulled that move off more by instinct that anything else. Janus is busy trying to nurse his knee, and so when Tom starts to push himself up he still appears to have the advantage over his opponents. The Superior One scrambles over to Toxxic, looking to eliminate the straight-edger long enough to get the second fall over the world champion, and despite the rookie’s efforts to get to the ropes before Flesher can catch him Tom manages to grabs his ankle and pull him back into the middle of the ring, Toxxic’s weight not giving the Superior One anywhere near as much as trouble as when he tried to move Janus. Having cut the rookie’s escape route off Flesher forces Toxxic into a sitting position and slaps on an abdominal stretch, digging his elbow into his opponent’s ribs for extra discomfort. Toxxic groans in pain as Flesher expertly applies pressure to his midsection and Michael Hall drops down to check if the straight-edger wants to submit… but Tom Flesher’s time is running out. Janus is getting up again.

 

The psychopathic mind behind those red eyes is not concerned with winning at the moment, or the strategy of letting Flesher wear down Toxxic. Janus’ leg is killing him, and he wants to rip Tom Flesher limb from limb. For his part the Superior One is smart enough to realise the imminent danger and releases his grip to defend himself, but he isn’t quick enough to prevent the Hell Machine from taking hold of his singlet and hurling him bodily into the turnbuckles! The impact blasts the breath from Flesher’s body and the Superior One’s face contorts in pain as he instinctively grabs his back. Janus grins menacingly and moves in, not entirely certain what he’s planning when he reaches Flesher but safe in the knowledge that it is going to be very, very painful…

 

…and Tom lashes out with a Doc Marten to kick Janus in the knee.

 

“YOU BOTH SUCK!”

 

“YOU BOTH SUCK!”

 

“YOU BOTH SUCK!”

 

The Hell Machine stops in his tracks, anguish spreading across his features again as he half turns to protect the weak limb from further assault. Flesher desperately lashes out with a Shotei and catches Janus on the jaw, the blow causing the Australian to turn away a bit further so he almost has his back to his opponent… and Flesher sees his chance. Ignoring the pain in his ribs Tom boosts himself up to the second rope, reaches out to grab Janus’ head and raises one knee to place it at the back of the Hell Machine’s neck!

 

“Ego Trip!” Riley shouts joyfully. “If Tom hits this we have a new World Champion, and can move forward into a new golden age of peace and tranquillity!”

 

Then two huge, black-gloved hands reach backwards over Janus’ head and clamp around Tom Flesher’s face.

 

“‘If’ being the operative word,” Comet murmurs.

 

Flesher releases his hold, trying to get away, but from the second buckle there is nowhere to go but down. It’s only the manner of it that’s open to debate, and Janus doesn’t intend to give the Superior One a say in the matter. The world champion hauls forward, literally dragging Flesher’s body across his shoulder, then hooks his right arm around Tom’s head and pulls it downwards.

 

“No!” Riley screeches as realisation dawns. “Stop him, Comet! Not that!”

 

“Relax, Robert,” Comet admonishes him, “Janus merely wishes to show Tom how an ADF II should be done! And besides, at least it’s not a Demonstar Driver.”

 

Janus grins briefly. He’s not sure if he could have lifted Flesher up here without his right leg to lean on, but the Superior One very considerately did the lifting for him. Flesher struggles, but the Hell Machine’s arms are clamped tight. Once again, he has nowhere to go but down.

 

*BAM!!*

 

The Hell Machine hooks Tom Flesher’s leg, taking care to keep all parts of Flesher’s body away from the ropes.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRREEEEEE!!!

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the loser of the second fall by pinfall… TOM FLESHER!” Funyon booms. “Tom Flesher and Janus both have one fall against them!”

 

Janus sits up, smiling evilly, then looks down at the fallen Tom Flesher. With a shrug the Hell Machine hooks Flesher’s leg again and leans into the cover for a second time as Michael Hall drops to count once more!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRRRE-

-but Toxxic has been watching events from the sidelines, and he runs across the ring to slam both feet into the side of Janus’ head! The champion is knocked from the cover even as some instinct in the Superior One’s body prompts him to weakly roll a shoulder off the canvas, but whether it would have been too late or not is a moot point as Toxxic desperately kicks out at Janus, seeking to drive him away from the pin. The champion manages to snare one of the rookie’s ankles but Toxxic plants the other foot square into the Hell Machine’s face, the resulting pain causing the big man to let go. Janus shields his face and Toxxic grabs Tom Flesher’s legs, dragging the prone Superior One to the centre of the ring and dropping down for the cover as Janus struggles to lever himself up from the corner!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRRRE-

-but Flesher kicks out! Toxxic swears violently and casts a glance at Janus, who has his hands on the top ropes and is starting to pull himself upright. The rookie desperately tries to lift Flesher up but the Superior One is almost completely limp and Toxxic is trying to shift deadweight. After a couple of seconds of frenzied effort Toxxic has Flesher up almost in a Dragon sleeper position, then drops to one knee and drives the other up into the back of the Superior One’s neck. However, instead of popping back up to complete the Detoxx Toxxic simply allows Flesher to fall to the mat and covers again, racing against time as Janus manages to find his feet…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRRREE-

-but Janus breaks it up! The world champion simply fell towards the pin and extended an arm as he did so but the blow knocked Toxxic clear, stopping the count and saving Janus’ title. Janus pushes himself up in preparation for the straight-edger’s retaliation but he isn’t quick enough to stop Toxxic from raining right hands down onto his skull. The punches hurt but Janus manages to shrug them off, reaching out to shove Toxxic away from him as he attempts to stand. Toxxic comes flying back at him and Janus extends an arm to clothesline the rookie out of his boots, but Toxxic ducks under it and skids to a halt behind the Hell Machine, then leaps up and fastens his arms around Janus’ head in a sleeperhold! The extra weight causes Janus’ knee to start to buckle and the big man fights desperately to keep his balance, knowing that if he gets taken off his feet he will have a real struggle to remove the straight-edger from his back. With one desperate effort the Australian reaches back and grabs hold of Toxxic before wrenching forwards, seeking to slam the rookie right over his head and onto the canvas… but Toxxic splays out his hands to break his fall and manages to land more or less on his feet! Janus’ knee struggles to brace against the momentum of the move, and as the Hell Machine staggers forward Toxxic reaches up to take the big man’s head is a three-quarter facelock, turns on the spot and darts for the corner. The Straight-Edge Sensation runs straight up the buckles, and while the camera flashes go off inside the American Airlines Center he starts to flip vertically over Janus’ head for the Intoxxication…

 

…but Janus reaches up and grabs him around the waist. For a moment the Hell Machine’s muscles struggle against the twin opponents of momentum and gravity. Then he lurches unsteadily to one side and hurls Toxxic away from him, over the top rope.

 

The rookie’s body describes an ungainly arc as he flies through the air, limbs thrashing wildly, but the flight is nowhere near as ugly as the landing.

 

*CRRRAAASSSSHHH!!*

 

“Sweet Zombie Jesus!” Comet yells. “Janus just threw Toxxic right through the Spanish announce table!”

 

“HO-LY SHIT!”

 

“HO-LY SHIT!”

 

“HO-LY SHIT!”

 

A somewhat shell-shocked Curry Man and Exploding Chicken crawl out from under the wreckage and look back at the human missile that just destroyed their broadcast station. Toxxic lies non-moving in the centre of what used to be a functional and relatively sturdy desk, surrounded by monitors and assorted wires. In the ring, Janus smiles as he leans on the top rope and surveys his handiwork, then turns in search of Tom Flesher.

 

‘ONE!’ a slightly shaken Anthony Michael Hall begins the count for Toxxic.

 

Flesher hasn’t moved much. The Superior One is still in the middle of the ring, although his mat instincts have kicked in enough for him to have rolled over onto his front to prevent anyone trying to pin him. This doesn’t last for long though, as Janus carefully squats down to roll Flesher onto his back and hook the leg for the pin…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRR-

-but Flesher gets his shoulder up!

 

“JAN-US!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“JAN-US!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“JAN-US!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

‘TWO!’

 

“How can these morons be chanting for that overgrown psychopath?” Riley asks desperately. “Can’t they see what’s he’s done to Tom?”

 

“I rather think it’s because he may have just seriously injured Toxxic,” Comet comments. “We appear to have some rather bloodthirsty Citizens in the crowd tonight…”

 

However, despite the crowd’s appreciation of Janus’ mean streak all the chanting in the world isn’t going to keep Tom Flesher’s shoulders down for three, and the Hell Machine knows it. But Toxxic is safely out of the way for the moment and Janus feels he can have a little fun - not to mention a little payback. So he crouches down, grabs Flesher’s legs and locks the left foot into the crook of the right knee.

 

“That’s copyrighted!” Riley yells as the Dallas crowd cheer their delight at seeing the Hell Machine preparing to apply the Superior Stretch to Tom Flesher. “You quit that right now Janus, or he’ll sue!”

 

‘THREE!’

 

Something seems to kickstart Tom Flesher’s brain and he looks up to see his legs tangled in Janus’ massive arms. Flesher instantly realises what is transpiring and throws his own arms out to the side in a bid to prevent himself from getting turned onto his front. Despite Janus’ superior strength he is unable to get the Buffalo native over, but the Hell Machine isn’t done yet. With a roar of effort he starts to haul straight upwards, seeking to not only put more pressure on Flesher’s legs but to simply hoist the Superior One off the canvas and step over him to lock the move in that way! Flesher yells in pain as he’s lifted up but Janus’ weak knee doesn’t give him a steady base to exert his full strength, and realising his best chance Tom Flesher lashes out with his left hand. The Shotei slams into the Hell Machine’s right knee, pain explodes through Janus’ leg and despite his best effort he is unable to keep the hold locked in. Flesher extricates his legs and rolls away as Janus glares after him with impotent fury blazing in his red eyes.

 

‘FOUR!’

 

Flesher shakes his head, desperately trying to clear it as the Hell Machine starts to stand again. Given a few seconds to regroup Flesher knows that he can exploit Janus’ weakness and pick up his third World Title win, but Janus doesn’t seem to want to give him that chance. No sooner has he risen to his full height than the champion launches himself forward, seeking to crush Flesher under a monstrous elbow drop. Tom rolls to one side and scrambles away as an elbow with 360lbs behind it crashes down where he lay a moment previously. Even though he missed, Janus still manages to roll over and make a grab for the retreating Superior One but gets only air.

 

‘FIVE!’

 

Flesher backs off, waiting for Janus to start to rise. He’s noticed that the Hell Machine always tries to get back up as soon as possible, and on this occasion that suits him just fine. Sure enough Janus brings on knee up in preparation of standing, and with his opponent off-balance Flesher charges in. Janus’ head is at a convenient height for the 5’10’’ Flesher to send his right Doc Marten careering towards it in another devastating Yakuza kick...

 

...but this time Janus knows it’s coming. He grins, and raises his hands.

 

*whap*

 

And with his left knee braced against the canvas, he catches the boot.

 

‘SIX!’

 

Flesher wobbles, trying to keep his balance after his momentum was suddenly killed. He just manages to remain on his feet but the back of his right thigh has been pulled, and it doesn’t feel like Allison is going to be receiving any action from the Superior Groin in the near future. Meanwhile Janus’ grin widens as he consider his options. They are, unfortunately, limited. With his stronger knee bracing himself against the impact his weaker right one is forward, and he cannot trust that limb to lift him up off the canvas. Ideally he would shift his legs around but that would involve letting go of Tom Flesher’s foot... with a sigh, Janus twists his upper body in a manner similar to an Olympic hammer-thrower and Tom Flesher half-flies, half-staggers into the turnbuckles, hitting his back again.

 

‘SEVEN!’

 

Flesher drops forward to his hands and knees as Janus manoeuvres his long legs around simply in order to stand up, bracing himself with his arms as he does so. He crosses the distance to the breathless Flesher in a single stride and reaches down to take hold of his opponent, but at the last moment Tom grabs the waist of Janus’ pants and tugs forward, sending the Hell Machine sprawling so his throat ends up across the second rope! Anthony Michael Hall admonishes the Superior One, but Flesher simply flips him off and rises rather unsteadily to his feet.

 

‘EIGHT!’

 

With a quick glance over at Toxxic, who still hasn’t moved, Flesher takes the opportunity to drape his thigh over the back of Janus’ neck, grab the second rope with his hands and exert as much pressure as possible on the champion’s windpipe. Michael Hall switches to a different and much swifter count...

 

‘ONE!’

 

‘TWO!’

 

‘THREE!’

 

‘FOUR!’

 

‘FI-’

 

...but Flesher again breaks the hold at the vital moment and backs off, vigorously protesting his innocence. Hall isn’t impressed, but remembers his duties to fire off a-

 

‘NINE!’

 

-in the direction of the wrecked Spanish announce table. As the referee looks away however, Flesher takes his chance to smartly step forward and kick the Hell Machine squarely between his splayed legs!

 

*CHING!!*

 

“FLESH-ER!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“FLESH-ER!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“FLESH-ER!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“Is that what you call ‘Superior Tactics’, Robert?” Comet asks furiously.

 

“The fans love a cheater, Comet,” Riley smiles as the American Airlines Center applauds the underhanded Superior One.

 

“The fans would love anyone who kicked any of these three men in the happy-happy-joy-joy area,” Comet responds.

 

“...even Ebony?”

 

“Especially Ebony.”

 

The spasm caused by the unexpected groinal trauma causes Janus to fall off the second rope where he had been uncomfortably perched and roll across the ring clutching himself. Anthony Michael Hall knows exactly what Flesher did but is unable to prove anything, although the Superior One’s expression of injured innocence is probably worth a disqualification in itself. Disgusted, Hall turns back to the outside.

 

‘TEN! RING THE BELL!’

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Funyon’s voice booms out, “the loser of the third fall, by countout... TOXXIC! All three men have a fall against them, and the winner of the World Heavyweight Championship will be decided by the next fall!”

 

Needing no further prompting, Tom Flesher dives on top of the squirming Hell Machine and hooks one massive leg, looking to pick up the title here and now...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-

-but it’s going to take more than traumatised testicles to wrench the World Heavyweight Title from Janus’ grasp, and the Hell Machine manages to block out the pain long enough to fire a shoulder off the canvas! Flesher tries to move into position to apply an abdominal stretch but Janus fights him off with sheer muscle power. The undaunted Flesher moves around in front of his opponent to try and clamp on a front facelock but Janus manages to shove him away, then draw back one massive fist and lash out-

 

*WHAM!!*

 

-scoring a sitting Knucklebomb on the hapless Superior One!

 

‘ONE!’ Hall bellows, gesturing towards the outside where Toxxic still lays in the wreckage of the table.

 

Janus rolls forward and drapes one huge arm over Flesher’s barrel chest, hoping that will be enough...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-

-but Flesher rolls a shoulder off the canvas, not willing to let the dream die just yet!

 

“Citizen Flesher’s head, ribs and now his right leg have all taken punishment,” Comet exclaims. “Meanwhile Janus can barely stand, and Toxxic could be completely unconscious. This has to be the most brutal World Title match we have seen in a long, long time!”

 

‘TWO!’

 

“The sheer fact that Tom is still competing is a testament to his superhuman vitality and will to win,” Riley states adoringly. “If I had my way I’d award him the title right now.”

 

“If you had your way the ring would be set up and taken down by scantily-clad male models.”

 

“And you’re telling me that wouldn’t pack the place out early!?”

 

Janus curses as Tom Flesher rolls over onto his front. He needs to pull out some sort of high-impact move to put the Superior One away once and for all but with one leg that can hardly take his own weight, let alone support him to lift someone else up, he’s going to have a hard time of it. The ADF II came from Flesher being accommodating enough to do the lifting himself, but the Superior One is hardly likely to do that a second time. Growling in anger, Janus reaches out to apply a rear chinlock to Flesher and give himself time to think.

 

And out in the wreckage of the announce table, Toxxic starts moving.

 

‘THREE!’

 

Janus hoists Flesher up to a sitting position and tries to wrap his massive arms around the Superior One’s chin, but even with his head spinning from a Knucklebomb Flesher isn’t going to be out-wrestled that easily. He manages to scoot backwards out of the Hell Machine’s grip and takes Janus’ right arm with him, twisting it up behind the bigger man’s back in a hammerlock to neutralise his greater strength. Janus tries to reach back over his shoulder but Flesher ducks low to evade him, trying to push the Hell Machine forward onto his stomach where he can lock in the Superior Stretch Beta.

 

‘FOUR!’

 

Janus is struggling and refusing to comply, bracing himself with his powerful left arm. But there is something else nagging at Tom’s aching head as well as he tries to get enough power to force the champion down. Then it dawns on him - Toxxic has already lost one fall. So if the straight-edger gets counted out for a second time, Janus will retain his title by default. Janus feels Tom cease pushing for a moment and looks around, trying to see what has caught his adversary’s attention. The burning red eyes follow Flesher’s gaze as the Superior One looks out of the ring, trying to work out if Toxxic will be able to get himself back in time to save the match for them both... and despite the hammerlock, a grin spreads over Janus’ face.

 

‘FIVE!’

 

Toxxic is stirring, but from his position in the ring Flesher can’t see him. The Superior One takes an agonising half-second to weigh up his chances, then decides to play safe. He can’t be sure that he can beat Janus before Hall reaches ‘ten’ for the second time so he needs to break the count, but he also needs to be sure that the Hell Machine isn’t going to jump on him when he re-enters the ring. Accordingly Flesher releases his grip on Janus’ arm but before the big man can react he reaches forward to take hold of the Hell Machine’s leg instead. Janus tries to throw him off but a quick Shotei to the knee leaves the Australian yelling in pain, and Flesher begins to try and tow Janus towards the ropes.

 

‘SIX!’

 

Flesher is in nowhere near as good a condition as he was when he tried and failed before to drag Janus along the canvas, but now Janus’ knee can’t take any manhandling at all and the Hell Machine is forced to actually go along with the Superior One in order to relieve the pain. Flesher drops out of the ring at the corner and hauls on the champion’s leg with all his might. Janus tries to resist but his leg can’t take it...

 

*CLANG!!*

 

...and Flesher swings Janus’ right knee straight into the steel ring post!

 

“THAT WAS SICK!”

 

“THAT WAS SICK!”

 

“THAT WAS SICK!”

 

Janus roars in pain and rolls away across the ring as Michael Hall admonishes Flesher, but the Hell Machine’s pain gives Tom the chance he needs.

 

‘SEVEN!’

 

Toxxic is on his hands and knees but he still looks shaky. Flesher unceremoniously grabs the rookie by the hair and the back of his trousers, hoists him to his feet and shoves him under the bottom rope to break the count, then follows him back in!

 

“Great planning from Tom,” Riley notes. “He didn’t just break the count himself, he brought Toxxic back in so he wouldn’t have to abandon a strong position again to save the match!”

 

Not only that, but Flesher hooks Toxxic’s leg and makes a pin, eager to see if he can snatch the win off the rookie instead of the champion!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRR-

-but Toxxic kicks out even as Janus looks around, too far away to save his title if it had come to it. Tom grabs the rookie by the head and hauls him up, looking to hit another move that could either put the Straight-Edge Sensation away or keep him out of commission while he returns to focus on Janus... but Toxxic abruptly takes Flesher’s head in both hands, places his head underneath the Superior One’s chin and sits out in a jawbreaker!

 

“YOU ALL SUCK!”

 

“YOU ALL SUCK!”

 

“YOU ALL SUCK!”

 

Flesher spins away from the Brit, clutching his jaw as Toxxic woozily holds the top of his skull. The ache seems to goad the straight-edger into action however, and he pulls himself up on the nearby ropes before reaching forward to take Tom Flesher in a reverse headlock, looking to lock in the Repeat To Fade. Warning bells start firing in Flesher’s brain and the Superior One twists the moment he feels Toxxic’s arm, turning right round before the rookie can get the hold locked in and bridging backwards to take him over with a Northern Lights Suplex... but the combination of injured ribs and aching thigh means Flesher can’t hold the bridge, and Janus’ desperate scrabblings in an attempt to get across the ring to break up the pin are not needed.

 

“Citizen Flesher counters the Repeat To Fade again, just like he did in the singles meeting between these two,” Comet notes. “With both men using a Dragon Sleeper variation both are well aware of the counters!”

 

Cursing himself, Flesher turns to pick Toxxic up again and grabs him around the waist, preparing for the exertion needed to hoist the rookie up with the Ego Buster, but even as he tries to lift Tom notices a couple of huge hands clamped around Toxxic’s legs. Janus anchors the straight-edger to the ground, and in doing so manages to get just enough leverage to raise himself up off the canvas. Flesher tries get away but the Hell Machine is slightly too quick, and with an expansive arm movement that is half shove, half knife-edge chop he sends the Superior One sprawling backwards! Toxxic straightens up again, still not quite with it... and Janus hooks a full nelson on.

 

“Look out, Citizens, this isn’t going to be pretty!” Comet warns in anticipation.

 

Indeed it isn’t. With a roar of effort Janus arcs backwards, bringing the Straight-Edge Sensation down on his neck and shoulders with the Syndey Harbour Bridge... but his right knee gives out on impact, and he is unable to hold a bridge either! The massive Australian desperately drapes an arm over Toxxic anyway, hoping that the sheer force of the suplex will be enough...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRRRE-

-but Flesher is there to break the pin up by kicking the Hell Machine very hard in the head! He drops to attempt a pin on the rookie as well...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TW-

-but despite being prostrate on the mat, Janus’ drags him off by the ankle! Tom turns and tries to kick Janus in the head with his other boot but the Hell Machine grabs that one as well, then simply yanks as hard as he can on Flesher’s legs to try and get the two-time world champion onto something of a level with him. Tom skids along the canvas and Janus lunges for him, going for a Hell Crush even when lying down - he traps Flesher’s left arm but accidentally leaves the near right one free and he can’t get a full encirclement due to the fact that both men are literally lying on the mat; nevertheless Flesher is feeling the squeeze, and with his free arm trapped at a useless angle near the Hell Machine’s head things do not look good for the Superior One.

 

“These men are still fighting for the title even though they are barely able to lift themselves off the mat anymore!” Comet exclaims in wonder. “I can’t work out if this is demonic drive or admirable determination!”

 

Janus tightens his grip as much as he can, seeking to crush the fight from Tom Flesher and retain his title. The Superior One struggles, but his mat skills cannot avail him in this situation and there is no help at hand. With the pressure on his ribs increasing and his oxygen depleting the spark starts to fade from Tom Flesher’s eyes...

 

...but then black-nailed fingers rake across Janus’ face and the Hell Machine releases his grip, bellowing in pain! Flesher takes a deep, gasping breath and rolls away, and before Janus can react he feels an arm snaking around his throat to lock in a Dragon sleeper.

 

“Repeat To Fade!” Comet yells. “Toxxic isn’t quite done yet, and he’s looking to make the champion submit!”

 

Toxxic knows he has no hope of getting Janus’ right arm up in a hammerlock to complete the move - instead he punches his right hand through between the Hell Machine’s right arm and his back to create a loose chickenwing, and his left hand grabs hold of his own right wrist instead of Janus’. The monster struggles but the adapted hold seems to be able to contain him... but then Tom Flesher comes back with a desperation lunging Shotei that hits Toxxic full in the face and sends him sprawling backwards!

 

“Toxxic is trying to win this by submission?” Riley scoffs. “Don’t make me laugh!”

 

“You shouldn’t laugh, Robert,” Comet admonishes his partner, “since all three of Toxxic’s title wins so far have come from the Repeat To Fade or variations thereof - and while we’re on the subject, Janus won the Tag Titles with Aecas vis the Hell Crush on Wildchild. Citizen Flesher may be the submission expert here, but Janus and Toxxic can hold their own!”

 

“I’d love to hold Tom’s-”

 

“-SILENCE, MISCREANT!”

 

Flesher is gasping for air, his last energy seemingly spent breaking the Repeat To Fade. Toxxic is seeing stars. Janus’ head is spinning. All three men lie on their backs on the canvas, staring up at the lights above them, and with count-out rules in effect Anthony Michael Hall has no choice but to begin.

 

‘ONE!’

 

“FLESH-ER!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

‘TWO!’

 

“JAN-US!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

‘THREE!’

 

“TOXX-IC!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

‘FOUR!’

 

The warring chants fly back and forth across the American Airlines Center, albeit with some shouts of “SUCKS!” accompanying them. Whoever they are cheering for, whether it is for Janus’ power, Flesher’s technique or the inexperienced underdog in Toxxic, all the fans know that they don’t want the match to end like this.

 

‘FIVE!’

 

Someone has to get up.

 

‘SIX!’

 

Slowly, Tom Flesher rolls over onto his front and drapes an arm over Janus’ chest.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRRRE-

-but Janus kicks out, and the action causes Dallas to roar in delight! As long as they get a straight-up finish to this match they’ll be happy as no matter who wins, two people they hate are going to lose.

 

“Come on Tom!” Riley yells encouragingly. “You can still do this!”

 

Flesher starts to pull Janus up, looking to slap a front facelock on and try for the Wet Cement, but Janus reaches up to hook the Superior One and rolls backwards into a small package!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRR-

-but Janus’ right leg can’t keep Flesher constrained, and Tom kicks out! He turns back to try and get the advantage over the Hell Machine but only finds a black-gloved hand clamping around his throat. Michael Hall starts to count...

 

‘ONE!’

 

Janus keeps squeezing.

 

‘TWO!’

 

The champion grins as Flesher’s mouth opens and shuts soundlessly.

 

‘THREE!’

 

Retaining his title by disqualification isn’t the way Janus wanted this to go, but if he gets to choke Flesher out he’ll take the tradeoff.

 

‘FOUR!’

 

Michael Hall raises his hand for the last count, readying himself to disqualify the Hell Machine even though this is obviously what Janus is counting on...

 

‘FI-’

 

...and Toxxic slams a basement dropkick into Janus’ arm, breaking the choke and preventing the disqualification!

 

“TOXX-IC!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“TOXX-IC!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“TOXX-IC!” *clap-clap-clap*

Dallas starts chanting the name of the Straight-Edge Sensation in earnest now, almost grateful to him for saving them from a screwjob ending. Janus clutches his arm as he lies on the mat, eyes squeezed shut from the pain and therefore blind to the rookie’s next intention. Which happens to be forcing his battered body to vault up to the middle of the top rope and corkscrewing back with an adapted Hangover legdrop!

 

*BANG!!*

 

But Janus’ red eyes opened at the last moment, and the Hell Machine rolled away! Toxxic cries out in pain and grabs his hip, but the impact is no worse than it ever is on landing and although the rookie is in pain he can still move. He looks over at Janus, then back at Flesher. The Superior One is facedown, breath still rattling through his windpipe as he tries to recover from the Hell Machine’s choke. And Janus, with his busted knee and very limited mobility, is now on the opposite side of the ring.

 

Toxxic moves, scrambling over to the prostrate Superior One. Even with Flesher in this condition he doesn’t want to risk going for anything involving a Dragon sleeper, but there is one other submission move he knows. The straight-edger swiftly locks Flesher’s legs together, pinning them with his own, then reaches forward and snares the two-time world champion in a three-quarter nelson!

 

“The Regal Stretch!” Comet cries. “A full-body submission, when Tom Flesher’s head, ribs and leg have all taken punishment! Toxxic may be about to take another title by submission!”

 

Flesher’s hand reaches for the ropes, but they are too far away and he doesn’t have the strength to pull himself across the canvas. The Superior One fights against the urge to tap, but the pain coursing through his body is making it difficult to think straight. He grits his teeth and tries to fight it but can feel himself being pulled under...

 

Michael Hall takes Tom’s right hand, raises it and lets it drop.

 

Once...

 

 

 

Janus tries to lunge across the ring, but his right leg gives out on him. He frantically tries again...

 

 

 

Twice...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...and Janus clubs Toxxic in the back of the head, breaking the hold! The rookie rolls away from the attack and Janus rolls Flesher over, seeking to pin the Superior One, but the sudden absence of pain brings Tom back to himself and he jabs two fingers straight up into the Hell Machine’s eyes!

 

“FLESH-ER!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“FLESH-ER!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“FLESH-ER!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

The blinded giant rolls away and Tom Flesher sits up. He scans the ring for Toxxic, fails to find him... then looks up and sees the Straight-Edge Sensation ascending the turnbuckle, facing out towards the crowd! With an almighty effort Tom forces himself to rise and gives chase. Toxxic isn’t moving fast and has only reached the second buckle by the time Tom catches up. Flesher drives a Shotei into the small of Toxxic’s back... then climbs up onto the first buckle and wraps his arms around the straight-edger’s waist.

 

“German him Tom!” Riley yells in delight. “Do it! Do it now!”

 

Flesher is trying, you have to give him that. But as hard as he tries to arch backwards, Toxxic’s deathgrip on the ropes is saving the rookie’s neck. Momentarily exhausted from his efforts, Flesher takes a moment to grab a breath and rest his aching ribs before trying again... and in that one moment that he feels the pull slacken, Toxxic lashes backwards with an elbow into the Superior One’s temple. The blow isn’t all that hard. On another day, Flesher would have shaken it off. But after all that has transpired tonight - the chokes, the abuse, the ADF II - that simple elbow is enough to tip the balance. For a couple of vital seconds, Flesher is no longer trying to pull Toxxic off the ropes but is simply holding on, and in those seconds Toxxic makes his move.

 

The Straight-Edge Sensation reaches back to grab Tom Flesher’s head, stretches up to place his right foot on the top buckle, and pushes off backwards. The Superior One’s grip on Toxxic’s waist is broken and the two men fall, the rookie arcing up and over his opponent before crashing down to drive the back of Flesher’s head into the mat.

 

*WHAM!!*

 

Tom Flesher just got Intoxxicated.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

Janus looks up as Anthony Michael Hall’s hand hits the canvas for the first time, but the Hell Machine’s eyes are still aching from Flesher’s fingers and he can’t quite judge the distance properly.

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

Janus tries to lunge forwards and break the pin, but his right leg can’t do it and there is no time for a second attempt. He desperately reaches for Toxxic’s ankle, trying to hold onto his title.

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

And he fails.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner and NEW~ SWF WORLD... HEAVYWEIGHT... CHAMPION!” Funyon booms as the crunching guitars of Lostprophets’ ‘We Still Kill The Old Way’ blast out over the PA system in the American Airlines Center, “the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’... TOXX-IIIC!!”

 

Janus collapses backfirst onto the canvas, all the energy drained from him. On the other side of the ring, Flesher is already there. But outside the ring, on the entrance ramp, Anthony Michael Hall hands the World Heavyweight Title to Toxxic and raises the Straight-Edge Sensation’s right hand in victory.

 

“Toxxic has done it!” Cyclone Comet yells over the noise in the arena. Some people are cheering and some people are booing, but every single soul in the American Airlines Center was on their feet at the moment of the final bell. No matter what their opinions of the men involved, Dallas shows its respect for the sheer effort put in by all three.

 

“Citizens, you are looking at the fastest world champion since the year 2000,” Comet continues as Bobby Riley sits apparently too stunned to speak. “There can be no doubt that the direction of the SWF has shifted, but it remains to be seen what the fallout of tonight is. That will come this friday on Storm when we begin the Road To Genesis, so until then fair Citizens, may JUSTICE~ watch over you!”

 

Toxxic staggers up the ramp clutching the title, seemingly unaware of the massed fans on either side of him. As he reaches the pile of blasted cars where the wrestlers emerge from four figures come out to greet him; Jet flies into her boyfriend’s arms and hugs him tightly, kissing him exuberantly on the cheek; Spike Jenkins and Sean Davis, both grinning from ear to ear, smack their leader on the shoulder and offer hearty congratulations; even Marcus Washington looks impressed. As the cameras pan back Toxxic turns with the rest of Revolution Zero arrayed on either side of him and raises the World Heavyweight Title above his head.

 

And as the picture fades out, there can be no doubt in anyone’s mind...

 

 

...that the Revolution has arrived.

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright Smartmarks Wrestling Federation, 2004

‘The Panda’s Choice’

Edited August 2, 2004 by realitycheck