Chuck Woolery 0 Report post Posted August 3, 2004 (edited) *RING!* *RING!* *RING!* *RING!* *RING!* *RING!* *beep* "Hello, you've reached the Masked Man. I am unavailable for contact at this moment, but please leave a message and I will respond in kind." "After the tone, please leave a message. When you're done, please press the pound key, or simply hang up." *beep* "I know you're fucking there, Masked Man. You're not going to run all over the place like some fugitive from justice and expect me to catch you. All I'm asking is that you drop my title off at the Holiday Inn at Denver -- I'm in room 207, and I'd greatly appreciate it if you dropped it off there. If not, I know your ass will be at Storm, because I already called up everybody with a modicum of authority in the fed, and every last one of them told me that you'd be fired if you weren't there. So I'll expect the belt at my room by Friday, and if it's not there -- then I'll see your ass at Storm, buddy." *beep* Mike Van Siclen shuts his cell phone, looking down at his lunch -- shady diner food, conveniently enough from the shady Aguilar Diner in Aguilar, Colorado. Conspicuous in his absence in the booth is Todd Cortez, who eschewed a brotherly car trip for a quicker, more relaxed plane ride. The Masked Man... nobody is quite sure where he is, least of all Mike Van Siclen, who has been chasing him seemingly since after the tag team title match. --- FLASHBACK: Ground Zero, backstage, minutes after the 42nd Street/Flip Flop match. "MASK!" The form of Mike Van Siclen is charging down a hallway, chasing after a man in a mask with a gleaming gold belt over his shoulder. The man runs out into a parking garage, pulling a Dukes of Hazzard and jumping in through the passengers' window of a VW Beetle, which proceeds to speed off. Van Siclen stares at the plates for a few moments, committing them to memory... "IAMMASK" ... before turning around, kicking the bumper of a nearby Chevy Cavalier before jumping into his own ride and speeding off in the direction of the Beetle. --- "You're not very hungry for such a big man." Van Siclen snaps out of it, looking up at the tiny blonde waitress looking down at him. He runs a hand through his blonde hair, which hangs loose, and then looks back up at the waitress. "Can I borrow a hair elastic?" The waitress smiles warmly and takes a bright pink elastic out of her pocket, handing it to the Spectacle. Van Siclen takes it, noticeably not smiling as he ties back his hair in a ponytail. He finally cracks a smile, looking up at her. "It's easier to control like this, you know." The waitress looks at Mike. "Yes, I know." "You got a minute?" "Have you looked around this place?" Van Siclen takes the time to look around... the Aguilar Diner is nearly deserted. Mike looks back at the waitress. "I guess you do. Mind taking a seat?" The waitress sits down, eyeing Van Siclen as he begins speaking. "Do you think I'm a bad person? Might I have done something to anger the Gods at some point? Do I strike you as a man who deserves to have his life made a living hell?" The waitress thinks the question over, and then looks back at him. "No, I guess not." Mike smiles again. "Obviously you're not a wrestling fan. I just spent my Sunday night losing to a nobody, then getting told I wasn't good enough for my partner, but that I could have my belt back anyway. And now, Tuesday afternoon, when I should have my belt back -- well, I don't, as you can see." "Why do you care so much about a belt?" "Do you have a husband?" "What?" "I asked if you had a husband." "No, I don't, I'm twenty." "A boyfriend?" "Well, yes..." "See, to me, the belt is like a girlfriend. You have to court it for a while, flirt with it, come close to getting with it for a while. And then, when you get your chance -- boom, you hook up with it, and suddenly you're together. And then some other guys come along and try to step to your woman, so you beat them up until they give up, and you keep your woman as long as possible until finally the other guys come along and take it back." "... uh huh." "Right. So what I'm dealing with now is the equivalent of my girlfriend -- or, I guess, your boyfriend -- cheating on you twice, and now running away with him. Do you understand how I'm feeling now?" "Not really." Van Siclen sighs. "I'm hurting, girl. I'm going through withdrawl. I go to Hawaii to try and get some good medicine in my system, and instead I'm dealing with my partner hating me, a freak in a mask stealing my gir... belt, and then there's the whole thing with Wildchild still hanging over my head... you must have problems, girl, and I know it because we all have problems. I used to be SJL Heavyweight Champion, girl, and that was a struggle because you'd have five or six guys chasing after you. But never before have I had this many people who had a problem with Mike Van Siclen the person rather than Mike Van Siclen the champion." "Well, what's the difference?" "When people have a problem with you, the champion, they just want to beat you." "And when they have a problem with the person?" "They want you dead. And I am not exaggerating when I say that." Van Siclen pulls out his wallet and throws a fifty on the table. He stands up, headed out to his car, and calls back over his shoulder -- "Keep the change." --- *RING!* *RING!* *RING!* *RING!* *RING!* *RING!* *beep* "Hello, you've reached the Masked Man. I am unavailable for contact at this moment, but please leave a message and I will respond in kind." "After the tone, please leave a message. When you're done, please press the pound key, or simply hang up." *beep* "I'm coming for my title, Masked Man. And if you get in my way, I'm coming for you, too." *beep* Edited August 3, 2004 by Chuck Woolery Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hank Kingsley 0 Report post Posted August 3, 2004 That promo was SO awesome. And pulling a Dukes of Hazzard into a VW Beetle? Well, that's just plain perfect. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted August 3, 2004 You need to get laid, dude. .... By a real person. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
