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IllustriousOne

The Whiny Bitches folder...

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So by now, most of you have at least heard of the Whiny Bitches forum. That said, we're (the mod staff) allowed to have one person that is exempt from the whiny bitches folder.

 

That said, I'd like to make my immunity available to the best possible contestant. So, in however many words as possible, tell me why you think you deserve my immunity. I won't tell you the things I'll be judging for, so this should make things more interesting.

 

-Josh

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I'm trying to fix it, don't worry, it'll be good one day, but look who I'm working with. Sass and Illustrious One are pretty easy to appeal to, and Loss definitely has my back. It's Dr. Tom's quoteunquote sense of humor and old age that is holding down the hot young gun messageboard moderators of the next millenium.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I remember in a thread I made right around the time I was made a moderator, where I said I was going to make this thread called "The Penalty Box" or some such, where I'd send posters to be group-mocked in a sort of e-pillory. Anyway, a few months later, someone finally goes "Hey, that's a GREAT IDEA!" and makes a folder, only calls it "Whiny Bitches" which doesn't frighten anyone, and opens up a thousand different comebacks a poster could make to "wrongfully" being tossed in there for an hour.

 

For instance, "You MODERATORS are Whiny Bitches!! Served. (used ironically)"

 

Something genius like that.

 

Anyway, when one is placed in Whiny Bitches, it becomes the only folder that poster can view, and there'll be a thread explain in detail, as well as mocking the person's offenses. Some of them are awesome, like mine will be, and some might be a cheap shot or a one-liner. Doesn't really matter.

 

Point is, its original intention is a more pointed method of messageboard mockery. If this gets taken in a direction like organized religion or professional wrestling, I hereby pre-disavow all relationship to said intellectual propertyfuck.

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If it starts to be used in a vengeful or uncessecary manner (like if a mod has a beef with a poster and allows that to override their impartiality), ax it.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion
Yeah, but this is just the mods' playtoy. How will I, the average TSM boarder, benefit?

Well, theoretically, this is going to be used often in lieu of banning and other such shit, since it's so easy to do. Thus removing the person posting wrestling spam, or being Nelly's Bandaid, or iB, from all general discussion. I vow I will cut and paste all of my shit, except for the time I used it on Kotzenjunge because that was special.

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...except for the time I used it on Kotzenjunge because that was special.

Shh!

 

You're already halfway towards packing your bags and leaving after giving immunity to that other guy you say is "just a friend."

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I was having dinner once with Thelonius Monk... a simple affair - fish, chicory soup, a vintage cabernet sauvignon. You know, low-key, yet tasteful.

 

So anyway, I'm talking with him, and this jibe muthafucka comes over and tries to introduce himself.

 

"Hi, I'm Edward bklahblsahblshf."

 

Monky looks over at this cracker, and he says gently, "If you don't scidaddle right now cracker, I'm gonna be dancing in yo blood."

 

This white dude sorta turns ashen pale, and quickly leaves our area. Seeing as I was drunk at the time, I sorta laughed it off, you know the way people do..

 

Monk turned to me then and he says, "I feel like some action. Who wants some ACTION?" I was confused, but I got up and paid for the food, and we left. Monk hailed a cab, tossed him a handful of bills, and said, "Edmonton Mall, quickly now."

 

Well, to make a long story short, we killed this one fatfuck in the bathroom of that mall. Oddly enough, the kid was wearing a wig.

 

We stripped him down and burned everything, except his nametag. It said, "Scott K."

 

So, If you throw me in that folder, you'll never find out where we hid the body. Ever.

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Guest evenflowDDT
I was having dinner once with Thelonius Monk... a simple affair - fish, chicory soup, a vintage cabernet sauvignon. You know, low-key, yet tasteful.

 

So anyway, I'm talking with him, and this jibe muthafucka comes over and tries to introduce himself.

 

"Hi, I'm Edward bklahblsahblshf."

 

Monky looks over at this cracker, and he says gently, "If you don't scidaddle right now cracker, I'm gonna be dancing in yo blood."

 

This white dude sorta turns ashen pale, and quickly leaves our area. Seeing as I was drunk at the time, I sorta laughed it off, you know the way people do..

I remember that night. And, to quote Donald Duck: "God damn stupid nigger, I'll WAAAGGGGHHGHH".

 

I thought monks were quiet, respectful people...

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Listen, Patches. I immunized Banky so he couldn't spoil our moment alone in the Whiny Bitches folder. Apparently you didn't want to go back there.. well, FINE. Last time I ever bring up a vacation.

 

PS: you're still my "lucky lindy"

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