LOCKDOWN! FOR AUGUST 25TH!

August 26, 2004

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM-BADA-BOOM-BADA-BOOMITY-BOOM-BOOMB-BOOM!!!!

Lockdown’s theme blares loudly, pumping into every corner of the arena as the pyrotechnics blast off, explode, and welcome fans to the show!

“Welcome, Citizens, to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma,” the voice of the Cyclone Comet bellows out, as the cameras sweep past the legions of fans. “We are coming at you LIVE from the SOLD-OUT Ford Center, in the heart of Sooner Nation, and you are watching SWF LOCKDOOOOOWN! We have a stacked show waiting for all of you true believers, and bringing you all this exciting action will be me alongside my broadcast partner, Bobby Riley, and I am-”

“-Oh God, not this…”

“CYCLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE COMET~!”

BOOM!

A final pyro rockets to the stratosphere and explodes, punctuating the masked announcer’s battle cry.

“What the hell!?” Bobby jealously cries. “You get friggin’ pyro now?”

“On special nights like tonight I do,” replies Comet. “Anyway, Citizens, to kick off tonight’s broadcast we have a very, very, very special introduction for you.”

“Something tells me I’m not going to like this at all,” adds Bobby, to which Comet pays no mind to.

“On Storm, one man did what many thought was improbable, and I’ll be the first to admit I was one of them,” says Comet, in the most earnest of manners. “Despite the seemingly hopeless situation, Johnny Dangerous bravely went in to battle, taking on the fastest rising rookie this federation has ever seen in Toxxic… and shockingly won, defeating the Straight-Edge Sensation for the World title.”

“Total fluke!” snaps Bobby Riley, not even trying to hide the spitefulness in his voice. “Johnny just got lucky and caught Toxxic on a bad day, nothing to be proud of there!”

“Nonetheless, we have a brand-spanking-new World Champion! Our announcer is in the ring now, so without further ado, lets turn this one over to our esteemed ring announcer, Funyon!”

The lights dim as America’s favorite ring announcer, Funyon, steps into the center of the ring. He quietly clears his throat then raises the microphone to his lips. “Ladies and gentlemen of the Sooner state,” Funyon bellows, and already he has to strain his voice to fight back the lively crowd, who are buzzing with anticipation. They know who’s coming out, and to say that they are pleased to know what is now in his possession would be a vast understatement.

“Ass kiss,” mutters Riley.

After a moment, the fans quite down, and Funyon continues: “At this time, let me proudly introduce to you, the NEEEEEEEEEEW SMARTMARK WRESTLING FEDERATION… WOOOOORLD… HEAVYWEIIIIIGHT… CHAMPIOOOOOOOOON-”

“-JOHNNY DANGEROUS~!” a deep, sultry, female voice breathes the name of the SWF’s resident Secret Agent, cutting the announcer off, and the crowd in the Ford Center absolutely erupts!

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult’s “After the Flesh” beings thumping from the speakers as smoke begins billowing out onto the stage…

“I am the new way to go…”

“I am the way of the future…”

Slowly a figure is seen deep in the smoky stage, illuminated by the flashing lights and…

“There’s a lot of innocent people being… crucified!”

BOOOOOOOM!!

A pyrotechnic explosion rocks across the stage, rattling the entire building as the music kicks into full gear! Lights of every color imaginable suddenly flare up, partially lighting the building just enough for the crowd to see the flood of red, white, and blue confetti that begins pouring down from the rafters, showering the arena! All of this topped by the emergence of Johnny Dangerous standing at the top of the ramp, dressed in a slick black suit, a pair of high-tech shades, and the SWF World Title slung over his shoulder… and the crowds pop magnificently!

“There he is!” exclaims Comet. “Johnny Dangerous, the Barracuda, the SWF World Heavyweight Champion!”

He casually strolls down the ramp, slapping all the hands he can possibly reach then makes his way all the way around the ring with high-fives. Johnny finally reaches the ring and he climbs up the steel steps to the apron, stepping out onto it before carefully gliding to the middle. He slowly turns toward the crowd, putting his back to the ring as his hand moves up to his face, taking hold of his shades while the other hand moves to take hold of the World Heavyweight Title belt…

…and Johnny flings the shades from his face, and into the crowd then rips the title from his shoulder and thrusts his arm into the air, dangling the title from his hand to a roar of cheers!

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

Confetti still drifts down as he stands there with the title held high up, and every single man, woman, and child in the arena armed with a camera takes a snapshot, lighting up the arena with all the exploding flashbulbs! Slinging the title over his shoulder, Johnny enters the ring through the middle rope and motions to a ringside assistant for a microphone. One is handed to him, and as the Secret Agent’s music fades out he strolls to the center of the squared circle. He begins to raise the microphone to his lips while looking out at the sea of fans in attendance…then a chant breaks out, forcing the Barracuda to hold off on his speech…

“JOOOOOOOHN-E!”

“JOOOOOOOHN-E!”

“I must say,” Johnny begins, pausing just briefly for the crowd to settle down. “What a ride this has been! WHOOOOOOOOO!!”

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

Johnny stands there, looking out at the crowds and happily nodding at the pop. “But…” he continues. “I couldn’t have done any of this without the support of all of you!”

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

“This is getting old fast,” grumbles Riley. “All he’s doing is trying to come down here and get some cheap thrills!”

“Hush you cretin!” snaps Comet. “I want to hear what the Barracuda has to say!”

“On Storm I did what nobody in the back thought I could do,” says Johnny, “and let’s face it… they pretty much had no reason to think I could. For the past two years I have been here, and for most of that time, I haven’t been doing much of anything. Sure I’ve won my share of matches, but for every one that I won it seemed like I’d loose two in return.” He looks down at the mat, which is now covered in colorful confetti, and the crowd listens patiently…silently.

“About eight months ago,” Johnny continues, looking back up, “something happened that changed all of that. That was when Wild and Dangerous reformed and won the SWF Tag Team Championship! That was when you people, the fans, started to really get behind me. No matter what people here thought or said, it was the fans who supported me. From there to Cruiserweight Championship to ICTV Champion… and now to World Heavyweight Champion! So I just wanted to say thank you for all your support, and thank you for believing in me when nobody else did!”

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

“As for now…” he begins anew, but before he can spit out another word the lights drop, and the Smarktron flickers to life with a familiar saying splashing onto the screen…

“PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG!”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Oh, no!” grumbles Comet, as “Rookie” by Boy Sets Fire kicks up, the entrance theme of the former World Heavyweight Champion, the Straight-Edge Sensation, Toxxic! “I knew someone would crash this party!”

“Thank heavens!” Bobby shouts in delight, “I was beginning to wonder how long we were going to let Johnny here bore us to tears!”

Toxxic strolls out onto the stage, and surprisingly or not, with that lopsided grin on his face. Johnny just stares at the Straight-Edger, scowling, but fortunately Toxxic stops at the top of the ramp and raises his microphone to his lips…

“Well, well, well,” the straight-edger begins, "look at little Johny Dangerous, all grown up with his title belt." Toxxic grabs a handful of confetti before slinging it to the side. "Thinking of getting married to it, were you? Anyway,” he continues, “I thought I’d come out here since you were thanking everybody for helping you with your success, and remind you of who you should really be thanking… ME!”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Why should I give any thanks to you, Toxxic,” growls Johnny. “I beat you clean at Storm-”

“Maybe so,” continues Toxxic, “but you wouldn’t have had that chance to beat me if I hadn’t given it to you! Remember, Johnny, It was me who opened up the floor to anyone, and it was me who accepted your challenge, and again… it was me who misjudged you on Storm! So if I were you I’d be on my hands and knees right about now, giving all the thanks in the world to me; that’s who you should really be thanking!”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“He’s got a point,” says Riley. “Everything Toxxic just said there was true. He gave Johnny every single opportunity in the world! How could Johnny Dangerous not win without giving the Straight-Edger some gratitude!”

“I’ll make this short and sweet,” Toxxic continues. “I got it wrong on Storm, and somehow you sneaked a win off me. For some reason, I'm not in the Number One Contenders match, but let me make something clear - I have beaten Jamie Drazon, and I have beaten Dace Night... twice." The Straight-Edge Sensation points one black-nailed finger at the Barracuda. "If one of them beats you, I will get my belt back. If you beat them... I'll just have to kick your arse instead, and get it back that way! Johnny, if you think you've heard the last of me - Prepare To Be Proved Wrong!”

With that the Straight-Edger tosses the mic to the side then turns and exits to backstage. Johnny simply watches him as we fade out...

August 26, 2004

LET'S JUST PRETEND FOR A MOMENT THAT WE HAD TWO SHOW OPENINGS, SINCE WE HAVE TWO OPENING PROMOS.

The opening credits roll, the music plays and it's time to Lockdown...

"...and I'm not leaving this ring until I get ANSWERS!"

...which, greets us with the rather beginning of a street-clothed Landon Maddix pacing around the ring, with a microphone in his right hand. Megan Skye stands in one corner of the ring sporting a black eye, watching nervously as Maddix continues pacing the ring. A scornful look adorns Maddix's face and it looks as if he hasn't shaven for a good few days either, sporting a five o'clock shadow.

"Welcome to Lockdown fans..." Cyclone Comet finally greets. "And as you can see, we've got a situation on our hands. As we were waiting to come on the air, Landon Maddix came down to the ring and is demanding that someone comes to the ring and gives him some answers, regarding the...the heinous acts at the end of Storm."

"And he's refusing to leave the ring until he gets answers, Comet." Riley exclaims.

"Indeed...we've got a STACKED card tonight, but until this situation is resolved, I'm afraid we're not going to see any of it."

With no-one coming out still, Maddix stops his pacing and turns towards the aisleway, glaring down towards the curtain with his finger extended out towards it.

"I can wait here all night if I have to...so if you want your precious show to start, then I suggest you get yourself out here King. Because these people deserve an explanation...the people at home deserve an explanation. And god damn it, I deserve an explanation over this shit! I've gone from riding limos and dining at expensive restaurants to visiting pharmasists, searching for something to reduce the swelling on Megan's eye after that son of a bitch you hired punched her..."

Landon suddenly walks over towards Megan, pointing right at the damaged right eye of his manager and snarling towards the nearby camera.

"LOOK AT THIS KING! Look at what you've caused. Does that make you feel good...knowing you're responsible for all this. For trying to ruin my career. For screwing with me and Megan, and our lives. For giving this young girl...this INNOCENT young girl a god-damn black eye? I want explanations and I want them now, because I want to know just what you think warrants a woman getting punched by a two hundred and forty something pound man and his bitch! C'MON!"

Still, there's no sign of anyone coming out...and all the while, Maddix is getting more and more aggravated.

"KING..."

But suddenly, the Smarktron whites out and the opening chord of 'Rookie' by Boy Sets Fire rings out over the Ford Center! The screen fades down to black, and as it does so jagged white letters flash up a familiar message:

'PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG'

But this time, there is no explosion of pyro as the crowd start jeering - instead, Toxxic strides straight through the curtain with a microphone in his hand and Jet by his side, looking notceable naked without the World Title... and rather pissed off, as well.

"What is this?" Maddix groans. "What in the HELL is this. I want Kin..."

"Landon - just listen, right?" Toxxic quickly interrupts. "Now, I know you're out here with a lot of things on your mind and a lot of questions that need answering. And I can't do that. But..."

"JOHN - EEE! JOHN - EEE! JOHN - EEE!"

Suddenly the crowd begin to chant the name of the new World Champion, causing Toxxic to stop and glare out towards the masses.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to have a conversation here..."

"JOHN - EEE! JOHN - EEE! JOHN - EEE!"

"...Landon, I'm sorry about these idiots, I really am. They wouldn't know talent if it snuck up behind them and bi..."

"Listen 'Sk8ter Boi'..."

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"...either run off to the back and find Suicide King for me, or get to the god damn point!"

"Alright sunshine, but don't push your luck," Toxxic says, eyes narrowing. "Now listen up - I don't know King. I've never even seen King. I'm even newer here than you are. The only connection I have to Card is that we're from the same town, and I beat that dancing French one-shot wonder he managed before you. I know NOTHING about what went down, and I am NOT involved. Believe me, I don't need any retired wrestlers helping me out. Ask Hearford."

"Well..."

"Landon... why the bloody hell would I want help from Chris Card or Suicide King, when I know that I could kick your scrawny little arse singled-handedly!"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"You wanna say that to my face!?! Come on bitch! Co-"

"Don't push me, Landon," the Straight-Edge Sensation states bleakly, glaring at the ICTV Champion. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not in a good mood right now. I'm saving it up for later, but if you want a kicking you're going the right way about it, sunshine."

"And, why should I be scared of you exactly? You paint your nails...you wear mascara...you've got more gel in your hair than the entire English soccer team put together. Not to mention the fact..."

Maddix unstraps the ICTV Championship belt that was wrapped proudly around his waist and raises it in the air, so that Toxxic can take a good look at it.

"...that I beat Johnny Dangerous."

"JOHN - EEE! JOHN - EEE! JOHN - EEE!"

Toxxic curses to himself, before throwing down the microphone and beginning a walk down the aisle!

"Oh no!" Riley gasps. "We're going to see Toxxic and Maddix explode!"

Toxxic continues to storm down the aisle, as Maddix quickly pulls off the belt from his jeans and starts to fold it up into a swingable loop...

"WOAH WOAH WOAH!"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Suddenly Toxxic stops short, as on the SmarkTron the familiar figure of the Suicide King appears...and sure enough, Toxxic backs away from the ring and turns towards the Tron. But he needn't worry, as Maddix has now forgotten all about Toxxic and is busy shouting up at the Tron and King.

"Children, please." King chastises. "I suggest, Toxxic, that you go back and get ready for your match tonight and leave this business to myself and the kid. This show has been held up enough...and I really, REALLY wouldn't like to have to hold YOU partly responsible."

Toxxic doesn't seem to want to go...but shrugs his shoulders and casually flips off Maddix and then the crowd, before strolling up the rampway towards Jet who is also looking up at the Tron, just like everyone in the arena. Meanwhile, King smiles...and as Toxxic begins to leave, King's smile turns into a huge ass grin.

"You know it makes sense. Now...did I hear somebody in MY ring, calling ME out...crying, bitching, whining...holding my show up. Usually, calling me out results in a long stay in a hospital but I'm going to save you that punishment kid, because quite frankly you're not worth me breaking into a sweat. But I understand you want answers..."

"Damn RIGHT I want ans..."

"Piece of advice, kid. DON'T interrupt me. You want answers? I think you have all the answers that you really need concerning this issue. But never let it be said that I don't answer people's requests. So, for posterity...let's sort this out. This didn't start at 13th Hour like you have been claiming, no. That was the beginning of a phase...rather than a phase of the beginning. You see, this all started way back in January when the SJL went capoot. Up until then, the SJL had served as a valuable way of sorting out the cream from the sour milk...where only a select few would rise to the top and to the SWF. If you weren't wanted in the SWF, you weren't IN the SWF. Which is why you were in the SJL, kid. But...when that place went bust, I suddenly had an inlfux of unproven, undeserving brats running around in the SWF."

King snarls slightly, the smile disappearing from his face.

"Of course, top of the list...was you. The most undeserving, most unproven and most ungrateful of them all. From day one, you failed to show me even the slightest bit of respect. And the feeling was mutual. Face it kid, without Todd Royal you wouldn't have survived a month. Without The Unnamed, you wouldn't have survived a month. The fact is, you're nothing but a glorified lackey! You're nothing more than a poor man's Sean Waltman!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!"

"Ouch." groans Comet.

"Lowblow from King...and it's not the first." Riley chuckles.

"Yet, somehow, despite the face you were the worst of the bunch...you managed to have some success. I mean, you managed to beat Charlie Matthews. You managed to beat Annie Onita. You managed to beat Tom Flesher. And with every one of those victories, I winced. I winced. With every victory, you delivered a lowblow to everything I worked for! To everyone I fought, night in and night out, busting my ass against. The deserving people. You weren't deserving. You didn't do shit on your own! But you lucked out, got a place in The Unnamed and suddenly...before I know it, you're holding the USJL Championship."

"And I EARNT that belt..."

"You didn't earn SHIT, you sniveling little punk! Without someone by your side, you weren't worth a damn! You had Royal, Duran, Va'aiga...that over-inflated piece of skirt in the ring with you. When you were on your own though, your short-comings were always evident. You had no-one at ringside when Sacred beat you at Clusterfuck. There was no-one with you when Alan Clark beat you at Battleground. Without someone by your side, you're a FAILURE. And yet, you still lucked out. How do you think that made ME feel? Seeing a pathetic, Suicide King wannabee moving up the card, despite the fact you didn't deserve to be jerking my show's curtains! The thought of you becoming World Champion...well, it was too much for me. If you became World Champion, then the SWF would become the laughing stock of the industry!"

"So, you screwed me over? If I was so undeserving, why did you need someone to hold me back?"

"You have a knack of...'lucking out'. I had nightmares kid. I had nightmares of you holding my SWF World Heavyweight WRESTLING Championship and they brought me out in a cold sweat. I could see you, in a years time, holding that belt...tarnishing the belt for life. I owed it to myself not to let you win that belt. I owed it to the El Luchadore Magnificos, the Tom Fleshers, the Frosts...REAL champions. I owed it to WRESTLING not to let you be the World Champion."

Some of the crowd boo, for the sake of booing King, but for the most part the fans are dead silent as they listen to all this.

"Luckily, I had Card tugging on my pant legs, begging me for a job. So I gave him that job. You should be grateful that I did kid, because with Card by your side you became a success. You wouldn't have become the Intercontinental Television Champion without Card by your side. Card gave you a taste of the high-life. Limos. Caviar. Fine women. I gave you opportunites Maddix, to become a success. But I made sure Card was always there to grab you by the reigns, just like the baby that you are, pulling you back when you began getting out of your depth. And yes, I made sure that you didn't get opportunities beyond the ICTV Title. I couldn't risk it kid."

King shakes his head...

"I couldn't risk it. For a time, it worked. You proved to me you weren't a real champion by the way you played right into myself and Card's hands. We gave you riches and you took them. And you were satisfied. You were more than satisfied. Face it kid...if you were worthy of the World Championship, you wouldn't have settled for just money, just limos, just women. If you were worthy of the World Championship, you'd have realised you needed to step up to the next level. All you wanted though was more money, more women and more limo rides. That proved all I needed to know."

"So, you backed Toxxic?"

"I didn't back Toxxic. I didn't BACK anyone. However, I was MORE than happy for Toxxic to become the World Heavyweight Champion. He's proven more in the past few months than you have in your entire career! But my motives weren't pro-Toxxic. They were pro-SWF! See, if you look down the list of World Heavyweight Champions, they all have one thing in common. From Flesher and Fasaki, to Matthews and Magnifico, to Williams, to Toxxic...hell, even Johnny Dangerous. Whever I liked them or I hated them...whever I'd been alligned with them or I'd beat them into the mat. One thing they all had was my RESPECT! You...are nothing."

"I don't give a crap if you respect me or not..."

"And THAT is your problem you sorry punk kid! And that is why I could never bear for you to hold my title. Don't think this is over Landon, don't think it. Chris Card screwed up. Card didn't keep the plan under wraps and Card is paying for it, because you won't be seeing him for a long while. He screwed up, he got fired. That is the power I have over this company! And you will feel the wrath of my power from this day, until the day that you retire!"

Raising his eyes, Maddix mimmicks looking at his watch as King takes a moment to re-compose himself.

"You know, King...that's really too damn bad. I know you think you had a good plan going and, I'll admit, it was working for a little while. Hey, I'm twenty years old. If someone offers me a Rolex watch and a pair of 18 year old Phillipino twins, of course I'm gonna say 'hell yes...and I'll see you in half an hour'. But you slipped up, didn't you? I found out about your plan. And now it's going to backfire. All you've done now King, is make me even more determined to prove to everyone in this industry that I am deserving of the World Heavyweight Champion. You've made me realise my faults. And now, you've brought out a new side to me. A more determined side to me. The riches and the glory can wait. Right now, my mind is focused on taking all the crap you just spouted and throwing it right back in your face! Eventually, I'm going to get a chance to prove myself...and eventually, I'm going to do just that!"

"We'll see...we'll see kid. For now though...you've got your explanation, so now you can get the HELL out of MY ring, before I'm forced to do something drastic."

"Ooh...what are you going to do King? Come down to the ring and get rid of me? Wouldn't that require you growing a set?"

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

King, hardly able to believe his ears, snarls and points towards the camera which is obviously pointed in front of him.

"How about I strip you of your ICTV Championship?"

"Oh, yeah...I sure Max King would be real happy about that. Go ahead, strip me of the belt. You can bet it'll be back around my waist soon enough though. How much of this company do you own again?"

"Listen you snot-nosed little punk, if there's one thing I hate more than an undeserving, ingrate champion...it's an undeserving, ingrate, mouthy cocksure champion! Now get the hell out of my ring, before I get security to escort you from it!"

"Don't bother, I'm going. Oh...but King. Stick around. I'm sure you'll be very interested to see how I do tonight in YOUR main event, defending YOUR ICTV Championship in YOUR ring...showing your opinions up YOUR ass!"

King snarls and walks off, leaving the SmarkTron to return back to an arena shot. Managing no more than half a smile, Maddix throws the microphone down and "Megalomaniac" hits...while Maddix's smile disappears and he leaves the ring with Megan close behind him.

"Uhm...well, what can you say about that?" mumbles a slightly over-whelmed Comet. "That certainly wasn't the expected start to the show."

"Darn right it wasn't. Landon should count himself lucky he still has a job, let alone the ICTV Championship after that ridiculous outburst!"

"Wow. I thought it'd take at least a week for you to change your opinions to match King's. Guess I was wrong."

"...can we just get Mr DDR and Mr LSD out here now?"

August 26, 2004

The Smartmarks wrestling Federation presents...

SWF STORM, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 25TH, LIVE FROM THE FORD CENTER IN OKLAHOMA CITY, OKLAHOMA!

Opening Promo: Johnny Dangerous, the new world champ, speaks.

MAIN EVENT

ICTV TITLE MATCH

Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix© vs “The Icon” Max King

What the hell is La Cucaracha there for? Seriously, I don’t know, but Maddix is a solid player, a blue-chipper if you will, and will probably have his name in the main event title reign soon. But so will Max King, I guarantee you that. The question is, who gets there first?

WORLD TITLE CONTENDERSHIP

Dace Night vs Jamie Drazon

Both these men have come close in the past to tasting world title gold, but have not claimed it. Who will get another shot at the zenith?

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Hollywood Boulevard (Mike Van Siclen & "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez) © vs Revolution Zero ("Hollywood" Spike Jenkins & Sean Davis)

And now that the tag title holders are decided, they’ll face those dirty sons of bitches, Revolution Zero.

SINGLES MATCH

Toxxic vs Justin Bowers

The most prolific rookie’s title reign ends at the hands of the Secret Agent. For some reason, this match has been requested by the former champ. Maybe to let some steam off?

USJL TITLE MATCH

David Cross vs “The Corona” Vladimir Everheart©

David Cross, the underdog on Storm, won his match and the right to this spot. Vladimir Everheart has been a capable champ of late, so will we see a changing of the guard?

SUBMISSIONS “EGO” MATCH

“The Notorious” John Duran vs “The Superior One” Tom Flesher.

With nicknames like that, you know egos will collide. This match is basically an “I Quit” match, but to submit, a wrestler must say (or scream) the name of his opponent, thereby supplanting his ego above his own.

SINGLES MATCH

“Grand Slam” Mark Stevens vs Ace Lezaire

The loved by all Mark Stevens faces slimy heel Ace Lezaire. Need there be more description?

CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH

The Birdman vs Ryan Dustin

Someone beat Tom Flesher. Somebody. Begging you here. If he beats Fallout’s reign I’m gonna be pissed. Fallout fuckin’ ruled, and NONE OF YOU REMEMBER HIM. FUCK YOU AND THE HORSES YOU RODE IN ON.Rules: Normal rules, DQ and countout apply.

TAG MATCH

Nathan Xavier & Manson vs The Masked Man & Munich

The Masked Man GOT SERVED~ on Storm. Now without a title to hold, and Revolution Zero at his back, he looks to find some new freshness in tagging. Also Vladimir is pretty cool. Seriously guys, angles are freakin’ cool.

SINGLES MATCH

Candace vs Petey the Irish Penguin

Candace has no last name. Petey sorta does. But that’s not why they’re fighting. Candace lost her Crusier shot to Tom Flesher, and Petey wants one. A win here could catch the eye of the booking committee. Kayfabe? What kayfabe?

HARDCORE MATCH

Bryan Levy vs Ced Ordonez

He’s a brick and Ced’s drowning slowly... oh wait, sorry. Bryan Levy’s debut match was cancelled due to the fact that... well, read Storm and find out. But here he’ll look to make his mark on the SWF. Oh, and it’s hardcore.

August 26, 2004

Levy vs. Ordonez will be edited in by TNT when he gets back.

August 26, 2004

The lights dim as the crowd at the Ford Theater goes wild. A sea of flashbulbs drench the ring as the arena quickly fades to darkness. The ever-dapper Funyon strolls up the steel stairs towards the ring with mike in hand signaling the start of the next match.

“Talk about your polar opposites this next match features two SWF superstars who couldn’t be any more different” Cyclone Comet starts as Robert Riley looks on disinterestedly.

“It’s definitely a freak show match,” Riley snorts as he goes over his notes. “You have that annoying Petey the penguin taking on the incompetent Asian Candace Dragon even I don’t know what my name is Ok-a-moron!”

“I can’t agree with you their Bobbo”, the spandex superhero offers which draws a look of shock from Riley.

“…And I care so deeply!”

As Funyon goes to the center of the ring the crowd quiets.

“Ladies and gentlemen the following match is a singles match. It is one fall to a finish with a thirty-minute time limit. Allow me to introduce the participants…”

As Funyon pauses for dramatic effect the crowd waits in silence.

“Making his way to the ring he weights in and 227 pounds and hails from the South Pole…”

The crowd erupts as the lights flicker on the SmarkTron. The unmistakable image of Petey the Penguin doing the Irish jig appears on the screen as the crowd breaks into a chant

PETEY

“Ladies and gentlemen…Petey the Penguuuuuin!!!!!!” Funyon yells as “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice starts to blare through the speakers. As the image on the SmarkTron shows two Penguins engaged in some sort of chest-bumping contest a shower of confetti rains down on the Ford Centers audience. The curtain opens and multi colored pyros burst everywhere as Petey the Penguin emerges from behind the drape. The crowd goes wild as Petey makes his way down the entrance ramp. At the announcers table Robert Riley looks on in disgust, as Petey is quick to show off his boxing skills by firing a series of snap jabs into the air.

“I don’t know what this guys’ problem is; Halloween isn’t until October,” Riley barks.

“The People love Citizen Penguin”, The Comet adds as he runs to the defense of the beloved arctic superstar.

“Just look at that stupid outfit” Riley argues. “What kind of an idiot dresses in a ridiculous outfit like that in front of thousands of people?” he continues until he realizes he is talking too the spandex clad superhero.

.

“…But it looks good on you” he scoffs.

Petey is quick to slap hands with the crowd but even quicker to pilfer a pint of Guiness off of an unsuspecting vendor who came close to ring side. As he downs the ice-cold beverage he turns to face the disgruntled beer man.

“That will be $3,” the vendor pleads.

“SQUAAAAK” Petey replies as he steps into the ring.

“Good luck collecting” says Riley as Petey continues his antics in the ring.

As the crowd enjoys Peteys theatrics the sound of bag pipes can be heard from afar. The familiar “Cadence to Arms” starts as the attention shifts back to the entrance ramp where Wallace McHaggis and Mini-Mac are seen making their way to the ring. Wallace looks stouter than ever and with the blue face paint can almost pass for Grimas in the McDonalds commercials—If only Grimace wore a kilt!

Mini-Mac is his usual animated self as he is leading the way pumping up the audience for the big match. The crowd gets quite a chuckle from Mini-Mac who is carrying an inflatable Buddy Christ” figure that is significantly larger than he is.

“Look’s like Petey has bought the posse with him.” Cyclone Comet notes as Riley watches in disbelief. “The Celtic misfits are making their way to the ring”

“Oh joy!” Riley says in a tone somewhere between mockery and indignation.

As the misfits settles down at ringside Funyon attempts to announce Peteys opponent. This is made all the more difficult as Petey tries to entice Funyon to join him in an Irish jig. After considerable encouragement Funyon finally relent and tries a few steps as the audience burst in laughter.

“Dear Lord” Riley blurts.

“Petey the penguin is a free spirit,” Comet observes. “That’s why the fans love him”

As Funyon finally breaks free of the Penguin he continues the introductions.

“And the opponent…weighing in at 121 pounds she hails from Okinawa Japan”

A hush falls over the arena as there is considerable uncertainty as to whether or not Candace will even make an appearance tonight.”

“Ladies and gentleman! Candace Okimurrrra!”

As the crowd turns their attention to the entrance there is no activity.

“I’m not certain that Citizen Candace will be here this evening Robert” The spandex superhero exclaims as the crowd grows restless. “There is a rumor that a rift has occurred between her and citizen Frisco!”

“Hopefully she won’t show and this whole disaster…”

Suddenly David Bowes, “China Girl” blares over the speakers as the crowd gives a loud round of applause. Geysers of white pyros erupt from the entranceway, as Candace appears from behind the velvet drapes. In a slight variation of the norm Candace is now wearing a red Playboy bunnie tank top and rather than her normal mini she is wearing more conventional white shorts; she is once again bare foot. As she makes her way to the ring she tries hard not to make eye contact with the fans and appears highly focused.

“I was praying she was gone,” Riley concedes as Candace slowly enters the ring. “Frisco dropped her like a hot potato last week after she got destroyed by Flesher. This should be more of the same”

As Candace settles into her corner she is surprised to here a chant coming from the crowd…

CANDACE

She glances out across the sea of faces and smiles in appreciation. At ringside Mini-Mac gazes up at Candace and smiles in appreciation of her choice of bikini-style white shorts.

“The crowd is clearly showing a lot of love for Citizen Candace” Cyclone Comet offers.

“The Penguin won’t be showing her any love” Riley states with a satisfied grin on his face. “I wonder if Penguins are carnivores?”

“Ladies and gentlemen the third man in the ring tonight is referee David Lewis” Funyon concludes as he leaves the ring and the night’s official takes charge on the action.

“Well we have a Penguin, a Dragon and a Zebra in there” Riley scoffs. “Is this Pro Wrestling or the Oklahoma City Zoo?”

The referee quickly Frisks Candace for foreign objects as the crowd begins to quiet. As the referee is searching Candace he does not notice Petey the Penguin slowly walks behind him. Once he has examined Candace he turns around and finds himself nose to break with the artic bird.

SQUAAAK!!!

As the crowd gives a round of applause to Petey he allows the referee to frisk him for weapons. As the poor official attempts to check Petey he is subject to tremendous ridicule at the wings of the Irish Penguin. The referee’s face turns an embarrassed shade of red as he is subject to countless crude remarks all spoken in a thick brogue much to the delight of the fans. When the inspection is finally done Petey turns and shakes his tail feather at the humiliated referee who quickly motions for the bell.

DING DING DING

“And the match is underway” Cyclone Comet begins as he watches Candace assume her unorthodox crouching Dragon stance. She bends at her knees and raises her arms in a near karate like position. Petey the Penguin confidently waddles to the center of the ring as Candace locks her eyes on her much larger adversary. She carefully circles Petey the Penguin but rather than initiate an attack she chooses to wait to respond to Peteys action.

“Defense may win in the NFL” Riley blurts. “But not in the SWF.”

Petey approaches Candace who looks bewildered by her unusual opponent. The Penguin is quick to grab Candace in a collar and elbow lock up. Peteys natural strength advantage quickly drives the smaller Candice to the ropes as she quickly ducks between the ropes and raises her arms to cover her face. As referee Lewis runs in to take a closer look at the action Petey gives her a clean break. As she lowers her arms for a moment he fires a series of Wing taps to Candace which cause her to duck under the ropes once again. She looks in bewilderment at the bizarre Penguin as he responds

SQUAAAK!

“Where did they get this guy?” Riley asks as Comet just shrugs his shoulders.

Candace returns to her crouched position as Petey stands in the center of the ring.

“Oh come on” Petey exclaims in his heavy brogue which further confuses Candace. “I haven’t got all SQUAAAK day!” he yells as he goes for another collar and elbow tie up. As Petey reaches for the hold Candace fires a series of karate punches to the well padded Penguins’ abdomen. Her eyes grow wide as Petey chuckles at the attack; the punches are virtually useless against the considerable padding in the Penguin suit. As Wallace McHaggis notices the ineffective punches he starts playing taps on his bagpipes. Petey looks on in amusement as Candace is totally dumbfounded by all of this. He fires another flurry of Wing taps that lead Candace to a hasty retreat.

“I don’t imagine Citizen Candace has ever faced anyone like Petey the Penguin in Japan” the spandex superhero chuckles as the confusion in Candace’s’ face is evident.

“She has no idea what to do and she doesn’t have Frisco here to bail her out”, Riley explains. “Hence she’s Sushi!”

Once again Candace assumes the Dragon stance as this time Petey the Penguin mimics it. As the crowd gets behind Petey he raises both wings—err arms high in the air and raises his right knee to his chest in his best karate kid imitation. The crowd roars with laughter but his enjoyment is short lived as Candace quickly fires a missile drop kick to his chest that knocks Petey on his Penguin posterior.

Candace quickly reaches for Peteys knee’s in an attempt to roll over to a pinning bridge. She is met with a pair of massive Penguin feet as Petey kicks her away. He quickly leaps to his feet and catches Candace with a clothesline that drops her to the mat. As she lie on her back Petey slaps his wings—err hands—across his stomach and does a Kamala like big splash onto the smaller Candace. He covers her for the pin as the referee is right there for the count.

ONE

TWO

Candace kicks out.

As she gets to her feet Petey grabs her arm and sends her to the ropes where he greets her with a clothesline as she bounces off the ropes. As she rises Petey quickly back peddles and hits her with another one that drops her once again. The crowd cheers wildly as Petey leaps to the top turnbuckle and yells…

“I’m just the Squaker…”

To which the crowd chants in unison

“PUNK ROCKER!!!”

“Citizen Penguin is feeling it now” Comet says as Riley cracks open a can of coke.

“He’s feeling something”

Petey quickly leaps back to the mat and goes for the fallen china doll. As Candace gets up Petey grabs her by the head and goes for his beak buster. He gives her a Snap Mare to the mat and follows it up with a chin lock. As he pulls back the referee goes to Candace to ask her if she wants to give up. Candace shakes her head in refusal as Petey releases the hold and fires a drop kick to the back of the Asian superstar.

“It’s been all Citizen Penguin thus far Robert” Comet reports as Petey goes behind Candace. He grabs her around the waist and executes a quick German Suplex. Candace is quick to grab at her back as the impact bounces her off the mat. As Candace is clearly somewhat weakened Petey raises a wing—err hand to the roof of the Ford Theater as he vaults to the top turnbuckle.

“It would appear citizen Penguin is going to prove to the world that Penguins can fly” Comet exclaims as Petey prepares for his finisher. As Candace lie flat on the mat Petey stands erect on the top turnbuckle and waves to the crowd

SQUACK

As the crowd cheers Petey the Penguin fires a lethal Corkscrew Moon Sault towards his opponent. The move is amazingly agile coming from a 230 pound Penguin but ultimately disappointing as much to Peteys’ surprise Candace had rolled out of the way when she realized what was coming..

CRASH

Petey hits the mat face first as the crowd is silenced.

“Well what did you expect? Penguins can not fly!’ Riley barks as Candace desperately tries to reach her opponent for a cover. Petey is barely moving as Candace crawls with turtle-like speed to try for a pin. The effects of Peteys early attacks have slowed her significantly as she struggles to finally make a cover on the fallen arctic bird.

ONE

TWO

THRE---No!

Petey kicks out as Candace looks deflated..

“You have to be a little quicker than that” Scoffs Riley as Petey begins to rise.

Candace quickly grabs Peteys arm and twists it to an arm wrench. As he yells “Squak” in pain she fires a hook kick to his face which once again knocks him back. He grabs her and whips her to the ropes but to his surprise she springboards back and fires a flying elbow that catches him in the jaw that drops him hard to the mat.

“Citizen Candace is starting to mount an offense” Cyclone Comet announces as Riley continues working on his soda.

“About time” he mutters.

Candace goes aerial as she fires a Rolling Thunder to the downed Penguin and covers him for the pin.

ONE

TWO

Petey kicks out with authority as Candace’s frustration continues.

“Do you realize how much padding is in that stupid outfit?” Riley blares. “The guy is practically wearing a Sealy mattress around him. I don’t think that move was going to have much effect!”

“Good observation citizen Riley” Comet deadpans. “Also notice the length of the outfit extends beyond Citizen Penguins knees making it nearly impossible to hook the leg for a pin”

As Candace gets to her feet she can hear a loud boo coming from the crowd. She carefully watches as Petey slowly gets to his knees as a chant begins

FRISCO SUCKS

For a moment Candace glances to the entrance curtains as she watches Frisco strutting towards the ring. Her heart sinks when she finds he is accompanied by the massive Mr. Tanner. As usual Frisco has a sneer on his face for the crowd as he goes to ringside.

“Heavens to Mergatroid”, Comet exclaims as he watches Frisco standing at ringside. “What is Citizen Frisco doing here? And who is that rather large man with him?”

Riley smiles broadly as he watches Tanner move in the direction of Mini-Mac.

“I’m sure he’s just come here to help Candace out”

Wallace McHaggis steps between Mini Mac and Mr. Tanner as Frisco’s associate quickly walks away from the massive Scotsman. The two behemoth meet nose to nose as the crowd hushes in anticipation. As Frisco calls for him Tanner slowly walks away from McHaggis as the crowd cheers for the massive Scotsman. As Tanner is walking away Mini-Mac is quick to flip him off which also registers a huge crowd pop.

While Candace’s pretty Asian eyes are currently occupied with the out-of-ring activity Petey fires a stiff clothesline that drops her to the mat. He grabs her right arm and twists it with an arm wrench. The crowd cheers as Candace does a cartwheel counter and fires a quick ganmengiri kick to the Penguins jaw. As Petey is wobbled by this she quickly fires a leg sweep to bring the big arctic bird to the mat.

“See, Frisco comes out and suddenly she has an idea of what to do!” Riley barks in a less than impressed tone.

As Petey once again gets to his feet Candace charges in with a running Neck Breaker that definitely rocks the Polar grappler. The Penguin crashes hard beak first into the mat as Candace unloads with the maneuver. While the Penguin is attempting to clear the cobwebs Candace grabs his leg and goes for a STF which draws the referee to ask Petey if he wants to give...

SQUAK SQUAK SQUAK!!

Realizing she has not done nearly enough damage Candace quickly releases the hold and leaps to the top turnbuckle. While Petey rolls to his back in an effort to get up he is met with a thunderous Swanton Bomb from the agile Asian. She quickly goes for a pin…

ONE

TWO

THR—Petey kicks out.

Candace goes directly to her next move and as soon as the Penguin gets to his knee’s he is hit with…

BUZZSAW KICK

The crowd goes wild as once again the Penguin hits the mat. Candace grabs him under the knees and dives over him bridging him for the pin

ONE

TWO

THR—No!

Again Petey kicks out.

Outside the ring Wallace McHaggis is keeping a watchful eye on the mammoth Mr. Tanner while Mini-Mac is observing Frisco who is quietly watching the action in the ring.

“Citizen Candace is really using her speed and uncommon agility to her advantage” Cyclone Comet exclaims as Riley reaches for some Nachos.

Petey the Penguin makes it back to his feet only to be surprised by a Hurricanarana by the diminutive Candace. As he is again thrown to the mat he shows his natural Penguin speed by leaping to his feet. This is met by a missile drop kick to the chest that knocks him back against the ropes. The Penguins eyes glass over momentarily at the impact of the dropkick. While he is caught in the corner Candace quickly leaps over him and entangles his arms and legs in her patented…

TARANTULA!!!

Petey screams as Candace clearly has the hold locked well. As the crowd yells Referee Lewis questions Petey if he wants to submit while also beginning the mandatory five count.

ONE

SQUAAAK!

TWO

SQUAAK! SQUAK

THREE

SQUAAAK SQUAAK SQUAK

As Candace is dangling outside the ring and the referee is busy asking Petey if he’s had enough, Frisco sneaks to the corner and fires a hard right into Candace’s gut. This immediately breaks the hold as Candace falls head first to the Ford Centers floor.

“Is that the uncommon agility you were talking about?” Riley scoffs as Cyclone Comet glares at Frisco.

“That dastardly scoundrel Frisco has no business at ringside!”

As Frisco makes a move in the direction of Candace referee Lewis runs to the corner to question him. He does his best innocent impersonation as Candace slowly gets back to her feet. Frisco flashes a winning smile at her as Candace quickly rolls into the ring where she is met with a first rate Penguin stomping by Petey. The Penguin is quick to seize the advantage of Frisco’s actions as he grabs Candace by the arm and fires her across the ring with an arm drag. The moment she rises up she is met with a clothesline that knocks her to the mat again. He is quickly on her again as he raises her to her feet for his signature Penguin Panic. To the dismay of Candace she is on the receiving end of a series of head buts and a wild overhead toss that bounces her off the mat and punishes her back. Sensing the end is near Petey once again pulls the Asian to her feet and whips her to the ropes. As she returns she is met with a big webbed foot to the chest which drops her to the mat once again.

As Candace lie flat on her back in the center of the ring Petey raises a wing—err hand to his ear as the crowd cheers in appreciation. He runs to the ropes and bounces off of them as Candace begins to stir. He leaps into the air and drops an atomic leg drop across the Asians chest. As she is rocked by the impact he quickly gets up and flexes to the fans who cheer him on wildly.

“Cover her!” Riley screams as the Penguin is busy showboating.

Petey drops down and wraps Candace up for the pin as she lie lifelessly in the ring after the impact of the leg drop.

ONE

TWO

THRE---No!

Miraculously Candace kicks out.

“You have to finish your opponent when you get the chance!” Riley seethes. “This guy seems more interested in playing to the fans than winning his match!”

“I think that may all be academic” The Comet interrupts as Riley glares at Petey the Penguin. “It looks like the beginning of the end for Citizen Candace”

“Don’t feel bad, she can always get a job at a Chinese laundry”

While the crowd cheers him on Petey the Penguin entertains them with a quick Irish jig. Candace lies in a near fetal position on the mat unable to enjoy the Penguins dancing performance.

PETEY

As Candace slowly rises to her feet Petey is there to fire another of his humiliating Wing Taps. He grabs the arm of the diminutive Asian and fires to the ring post as the crowd cheers. As Candace bounces off the turnbuckle Petey the Penguin assume a three point stance as he prepares to unload with The Spear. The moment Candace turns she is greeted with a loud

SQUAAAK

Petey lowers his head and charges with reckless abandonment towards Candace. As she realizes what is coming Candace leaps out of the way as Petey crashes hard head first into the unforgiving steel ring post. As he bounces off from the post Candace springs into action, she dives up onto Petey the Penguins shoulders and surprises him with a Victory Roll. The crowd goes dead silent as Candace is quick to hook his legs and Peteys' ridiculous webbed feet kick in the air. Referee David Lewis dives to the mat to make the count…

ONE

TWO

SQUAAK SQUAAK SQUAAK

THREE!!!

DING DING DING

“Un-believable” Riley barks as he slams his fist on the table.

“Citizen Candace has surprised Petey the Penguin with that Victory Roll” Comet responds as Petey rises to the mat with a look of disbelief on his face. The referee raises Candace’s hands as Funyon goes to the center of the ring.

“The time of the match 18 minute and 12 seconds. The winner via pin fall…Candace Okimurrrrra!”

The crowd gives a big round of applause for Candace as she acknowledges them with a wave from her corner. A smile of relief flashes across her face as she pauses to enjoy the moment.

As Petey the Penguin rolls out of the ring to the Celtic misfits Mr. Tanner quickly rolls in. With Candace distracted after the match he nails her with a wild clothesline to the back of the head which immediately drops her to the mat.

“Holy Smokes Citizen Frisco has sent this monster to attack Candace!” Cyclone screams as Riley chuckles over his nachos. “She’s just been through a grueling match!”

As Candace tries to get back to her feet Tanner locks her head between his legs and grabs her by the waist. A sick smile crosses his face as he pulls her up and slams her down with a thunderous…

POWERBOMB

Candace lay in the center of the ring as Frisco motions to Tanner to do it again. The crowd roars in disapproval as he obliges. He grabs the diminutive Asian by the scruff of her neck and pulls her up once again…

POWERBOMB

“This is unfathomable!” Comet screams as Candace is motionless in the ring.

“Want a Nacho?” Riley asks.

Outside the ring Frisco shoves Funyon off his seat as he picks up the steel folding chair and tosses it into the ring. The crowd erupts as Frisco kicks the chair towards Tanner and climbs to the top turnbuckle. A sadistic smile flashes across his face as he turns to the fans who are screaming his name. Frisco extends his arms outward and makes the famous Samoan “I love you!” sign with his hands as the crowd lets him know how they feel.

FRISCO SUCKS

As Candace slowly stirs Tanner picks up the chair. He pauses as he waits for Candace to attempt to get to her feet. As she raises her head he rifled a chair shot to the back of her skull.

“This man is a barbarian!” Comet roars.

As Candace lay motionless in the ring Tanner grabs her ankle and drags her towards the corner where Frisco is sitting atop the turnbuckle. He grabs the steel chair and opens it

As the crowd looks on in awe. Frisco points towards Candace’s’ leg as Tanner sticks the limb through the opening in the back of the steel chair.

“If Frisco does what I think him going to do…” Comet starts before being interrupted by Riley.

“Snappy leggy” he scoffs.

Suddenly the audience goes wild as Lobo comes barreling out from the crowd. A look of concern crosses Tanners face as Frisco appears very surprised by Lobo’s unscheduled appearance. In a flash Lobo leaps to the ring apron and grabs Frisco by the suit coat and tosses him down to the floor. He rolls into the ring and goes after Tanner who shows uncommon agility of his own and bails out the other side. The crowd screams in appreciation at the surprise appearance from the 400 pound giant.

Lobo is quick to run to Candace as Tanner helps Frisco to his feet. Once horizontal Frisco unloads a string of obscenities at Lobo as he and Tanner head to the back. Lobo hovers over Candace protectively as Frisco and Tanner leave the arena. A group of several medics enter the ring to assist Candace back to the locker-room.

August 26, 2004

The echoing guitars and silky-smooth saxophone of "Rush Against the Grain" bounce through the speakers, and the Oklahoma City crowd is quiet, not sure what's coming. The frantic drum beat drops in, and to go with it...

*BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG*

... comes four blasts of blue pyro! The crowd pops for that, and their pops become a roar as the Masked Man, Mike Van Siclen and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez step through the curtain! The SWF Tag Team championships are draped over Van Siclen and Cortez's arms, possibly for the last time, as the three men enter the ring. Van Siclen signals for a microphone, and he gets it from a courteous ring attendant. He lifts the microphone to his lips, and begins to speak.

"You know, I know I'm out here with him right now... but I don't even like this man."

Van Siclen jerks a thumb at the Masked Man, and the crowd, slightly stunned, begins booing. Van Siclen signals for them to quiet down, and the oblige, letting the Spectacle speak.

"But you see... well, I'll let him tell it, he has a speech prepared.

Van Siclen tosses the microphone to the Masked Man, and as soon as the Romanian Sensation receives the microphone, a loud, LOUD "T! M! M!" chant breaks out over the arena. Through his mask he smiles and holds his hand up, both acknowledging the enormous crowd and asking for a chance to speak. They finally give him that chance, and he begins.

"MI ABAGANDRO IBIN DE ASTUTA MERUVA!"

The crowd is, uh, stunned.

"That is Romanian for 'my heart has never been bigger than it is now!'"

Now they cheer.

"I shall let it be known right now that I do not adore Michael Van Siclen. I do not like him. And I most certainly do not want to have sex with him in the shower after the show. After Storm, I simply respect the man. That may sound tired and clichéd, but it is true in this case. I formerly thought of him as a poseur and as a person who talked louder than he wrestled - but then again, that isn't difficult, because wrestling itself is usually quite quiet. Nevertheless, he proved to me, to Mister Todd Cortez, and to everyone around the world that he was the better man on Storm. He pinned me to the mat for three seconds, and I must say, that has not been done many a time."

Van Siclen and Cortez nod, the crowd politely applauds, and Mask continues.

"However, going toe-to-toe with Michael has opened my eyes to something: I do not belong where I am. I come to the arena today, after what I believe was one of the greatest matches of my career, and I discover that I am booked to team with Munich against Manson and some obese man. Now, I have nothing against Manson, for he has defeated me once before, but to be in such a lowly match is, well, it is below me. So I am officially declaring that I will NOT be in that match tonight! I will instead be providing moral support for my team, the Urban Empire!"

The crowd cheers.

"Mr. Cortez, I love you." He turns to Cortez and gives him a thumbs up.

"Mr. Van Siclen...I respect you." Another turn, another thumbs up.

"And to you fans...AKIKI MI MESTADO KKIBENREI!"

...

"That is Romanian for 'support us and our cause!'"

The crowd erupts.

"I LOVE YOU ALL!"

And he gives the microphone away, back to Van Siclen. Mike grins, raising the microphone to his lips.

"Yeah, see, that's what I meant. I do not like the Masked Man, but I respect him. Partially because I beat him," Van Siclen pauses, winking at Masked Man, "and partially because Todd Cortez respects him. Todd Cortez and I are friends, Todd Cortez and the Masked Man are friends... which makes me and the Masked Man friends by extension." Mike shifts his tag belt. "In a way, this man is my brother in law."

The crowd pops slightly for this, and Van Siclen shifts his Tag championship around on his shoulder again. "But on Storm, when I was defending this against the Masked Man, I got Pearl Harbored by Revolution Zero. And this was the man who bailed me out, right here." Van Siclen again points at the Masked Man, and the crowd pops, fondly remembering the Masked Man and Van Siclen clearing the ring on Storm. "And it was then that I realized that me and the Masked Man couldn't fight. We just... we couldn't. And we couldn't because there is a bigger enemy out there."

"You see, folks, Revolution Zero... they are big. They are powerful. And if you don't stick together with someone, they will take you out. In a way... well, Todd, you tell it."

Van Siclen tosses the microphone to Todd Cortez, who receives a nice pop. The Urban Legend nods, a tad uncomfortable, and begins to speak.

"You see, Revolution Zero is a bit like the mob. If you're with them, they'll take care of you, and in turn you'll be loyal to them. If you're against them, they'll take advantage of their strength in numbers and take you out. The reason that they didn't take out Mike and Mask last week is because they didn't have a clear numbers advantage. The reason that they did take out myself and Tom Flesher is because they did have a clear numbers advantage, and this taught us all a lesson -- if you don't have the numbers, they WILL get you."

Van Siclen beckons for the mic, and Cortez, a bit rattled, tosses it back to him. Van Siclen grins at Todd before speaking again.

"And that is why, my friends, the three of us are out here tonight," Van Siclen says. "Because if we can't put our differences aside, and focus, they're going to take all three of us out. And because tonight, if Todd and I don't have someone backing us up, Revolution Zero can play the numbers game and out-man us for the belts instead of out-wrestling us."

"Ladies and gentlemen," Van Siclen says, winding down. "Revolution Zero is a curse, and Revolution Zero is a black mark on the eye of wrestling. But Revolution Zero has given rise to a new force."

The crowd begins to buzz as Van Siclen's voice gets louder. "People, you're looking at an Urban Empire right here, and we've been built on the corner of 42nd Street and Hollywood Boulevard. The Revolution can come and go..."

Van Siclen pauses, posing with the other two men.

"... because the Urban Empire is here to stay."

"Rush Against the Grain" hits again, and the three men pose as we...

FADE OUT.

August 26, 2004

As we come back from commercial, Rob Zombie's "(Go To) California" hits, and the large, hulking man known as Nathan Xavier walks through the entrance curtain to a modest pop, flanked by his wife and manager, Sasha Edwards…

"(Comet) Well, here's rookie Nathan Xavier coming down for our next contest, Manson and Xavier versus The Masked Man and Munich. Manson has been involved with Munich a few times, and he defeated The Masked Man for the USJL Championship, while Xavier has had little interaction with his opponents or his tag partner…"

"(Riley) This match. Well, Manson is in it, along with Nathan Xavier. TMM and Munich are, too… And it's a tag match…"

"(Comet) Insightful as always, Bobbo."

"(Funyon) Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is a tag team match, and it is scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, hailing from Santa Clara, California, and being accompanied by Sasha Edwards… He weighs in at three-hundred and twenty six pounds, and stands six feet, eight inches tall… NAAATHAN XAAAVIER!"

Xavier stomps down the ramp, and as he hits the foot of the ramp, he hops effortlessly onto the apron, stepping over the ring ropes. Meanwhile, Sasha heads up the ring steps, and Xavier holds open the middle and bottom ropes for her, allowing her to step through. Accompanied by his wife dangling on his arm like a proverbial ball and chain, the two go to the center of the ring, where he raises his free arm to another round of cheers from the fans!

"(Riley) Hey, if she's his wife, why is her last name Edwards? You think she's one of those feminazis who insist on keeping their own name?"

"(Comet) What… I don't know…"

"(Riley) Well, she's gotta be…"

"(Comet) I can already tell this is gonna be a long night…."

Sasha departs the ring, as Xavier takes his place in the lower right corner of the ring. As he does, the lights drop out, only for multi-hued strobes to fill the void. Meanwhile, "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Prong hits, and Manson walks out moments later to a huge ovation!

"(Funyon) And his tag team partner, hailing from Denver, Colorado… He weighs in at two-hundred and thirty pounds, and stands six feet tall… MMMAAAANNNSSOONNN!"

At the announcement of Manson's name, an aisle long "MANSONOSITY" banner is focused upon by the cameras, before switching back to Manson completing his walk to the ring. Manson rolls in and heads to his corner, focused on getting the match under way, as usual.

"(Riley) What the hell is Mansonosity?"

"(Comet) Frankly, I have no clue. Anyway, Citizen Manson hasn't been on too much of a roll lately, losing his USJL Championship to Vladimir Everheart, due to Max King. Then, on Storm, he watched on as 'The Icon' snatched a shot at the ICTV Title out from under him, in a match that also included Jamie Drazon and Andrea Montgomery."

"(Riley) Since Ground Zero, King has shown that he's leagues above Manson. Their inevitible rematch, and every match in between for King, has win written all over it."

"(Comet) Of course, except for the match on Storm, Max King is winless against Manson. But we'll overlook that little fact."

Manson and Xavier discuss strategy, as "Gimme Shelter" by The Rolling Stones kicks up on the PA. The crowd remains on their feet, as Munich saunters out to the cheers of the fans. Standing at the top of the ramp, Munich takes a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket and places them standing on the stage. He then lifts up the shirt over his head and throws it down, before walking quickly down the ramp.

"(Funyon) And their opponents… First, hailing from Dallas, Texas… He weighs in at two-hundred and sixty pounds, and stands six feet, four inches…THE JL EASERN UNITED STATES CHAMPION… 'AGENT 27' MMUUUNICH!"

Approaching the ring, Munich slides in under the bottom rope. He unhooks the EUS Title from his waist and hands it to an attendant, before jogging in place. As he does so, the arena's house lights go into strobe mode, and "Misirlou" by Dick Dale and his Del-Tones rocks the speakers!

"(Funyon) And his tag team partner, hailing from Orofino, Idaho… He weighs in at two-hundred and forty three pounds, and stands five feet, eleven inches… THE MMMAAAASKED MMMAAAANN!"

However, we wait, as "Misirlou" keeps playing, with no sign of TMM, and Munich starts looking worried and confused, as do the fans, and everyone else in the ring…

"(Riley) Hey, where is he?"

"(Comet) I have no idea. I suppose, if he doesn't show, we'll have to continue on without him, and hopefully he'll show up."

Indeed, inside the ring, Matt Kivell shrugs his shoulders, and shoos Funyon away. He explains the situation to Manson and Xavier, and Xavier takes his place on the apron. He then explains it to Munich, who doesn't look so content, appearing as if he's just seen a ghost. Kivell simply calls for the bell…

::DING DING!::

"(Comet) Well, as you can see, a strange situation, as TMM is nowhere to be seen. Munich will have to face these two alone…"

"(Riley) Oh, yeah… Munich stands a good chance of winning this now…"

Munich continues to debate Kivell, as Manson closes in on him and locks up, leaving Munich no choice but to fight. The superior size of Munich allows him to hold Manson off, and Manson breaks the hold. Munich swings and goes for a clothesline, looking to land a big attack early on, however Manson ducks and emerges behind Munich, clubbing his neck with a pair of forearms. Munich goes down to a knee, and Manson rushes him from the side, shoving a bone-shattering knee into his skull. Munich goes down to the mat, and Manson covers…

"ONE!"

"TWO!!!"

However, Munich kicks out… Manson stands and pulls Munich up with him, holding him in a front facelock. Manson drags Munich across the ring to his corner, where Xavier takes the tag…

"(Comet) Manson off the knee to the face and attempted cover, tagging out to Xavier…"

Xavier comes into the ring and Manson releases Munich. Agent 27 gets back up to his feet, helped along by Xavier pulling him up by the back of his neck. Munich swipes Xavier's away and escapes along the aisleside ropes, but soon enough, Xavier catches up and drives a knee into his stomach, doubling him over, following that up with a forearm to the back, sending Munich down to the mat. Munich again gets up to a vertical base, and lands a punch to Xavier's face, but Xavier simply fires back…

::SLAP!::

"WHOOOO!"

With a big overhand chop to the chest! Munich lays against the ring ropes, as Xavier takes him by the hand and sends him across the ring. Munich bounces off the opposite side ropes, and kicks up his leg, catching him with a boot to the face, drawing an "Oooh" from the fans. With Munich down, Xavier heads to the north ropes and springs off, crashing down on Munich with the atomic leg drop! Xavier goes for the cover…

"ONE!!"

"TWO!!!!"

However, Munich kicks out once again…

"(Comet) Munich with the kick out, and one could say he's not faring too well thus far."

"(Riley) What could ever make you say that?"

"(Comet) Oh, just a guess…"

Before Munich can get up to his feet, Xavier grabs a handful of his hair and forcefully drags Munich over to Manson, who quickly tags in and sends one quick kick into the sternum of Munich, dropping him to the ground once again. Manson grabs a hold of Munich and whips him across the ring where Munich quickly grabs a hold of them, stopping his momentum and causing Manson to immediately rush at his opponent trying for a clothesline. However Munich quickly ducks down and using Manson’s momentum, hurls his opponent up into the air, over the top rope. Munich, thinking that his opponent is down on the floor, dropw down to one knee in an attempt to get some of his strength back but unknown to him, Manson had swiftly grabbed the top rope himself and landed on his feet on the apron. Munich suddenly realizes that Manson is standing on the apron and quickly gets up to fire punches into his opponent’s face, which Manson effortlessly blocks. Manson grabs a hold of Munich’s head and drops down off the apron to the floor, bringing Munich’s throat down across the top rope, causing him to be thrown back into the middle of the ring, grabbing his throat trying to breathe.

"(Comet) Oh man… that could have crushed Munich’s windpipe there!"

"(Riley) Meh… whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."

"(Comet) I just love your compassion for these wrestlers, Riley."

"(Riley) Thanks Comet!"

Manson quickly slides back into the ring and begins stomping away at Munich’s chest before dropping a hard knee down upon it, followed by another, and another. Thinking that he has his opponent in dire straits, Manson lazily reaches down and attempts to pull Munich up, however Munich yanks Manson down and rolls him up with a small package!

"ONE!!"

"TWOOO!"

However Manson kicks out! Manson gets to his feet quickly, with Munich to follow, and as Manson shoots his leg up, trying for a kick to the face, Munich ducks and wraps his arms around Manson from behind. Munich seizes the opportunity and lifts Manson up and over, connecting with a hard German suplex high on the back, holding the bridge for a pin.

"ONE!!!"

"TWOOOOO!!!"

"(Comet) Xavier breaks up the count!"

After firing a hard boot into the back of Munich to break the bridge, Xavier climbs back out onto the ring apron and grabs a hold of the tag rope, seemingly tuning out Kivell’s warnings. Manson gains his bearings and crawls over to tag in Xavier. Manson rolls out to the floor, holding the back of his neck in pain. Thoughtfully, Sasha asks Manson if he's alright, getting an affirmitive from Manson as he nods his head.

"(Comet) All of this has to be wearing down Munich big time. And as we saw there, even if Munich manages to get a pin attempt on one, the other will be there to break it up…"

Still lying on the floor worse for wear, Munich is suddenly drug up to his feet by Nathan Xavier, and flung toward the southern ropes. Munich springs off, and Xavier hoists him up into a body press, holding the smaller Munich in the air with no effort at all.

"(Comet) Xavier is holding Munich up there as if he were nothing!"

"(Riley) Wow… what strength…"

"(Comet) Can you please be a bit more enthusiastic about this fight?"

"(Riley) I could, but why bother…"

After holding Munich in the air, soaking up the camera flashes and cheers from the crowd like a sponge, Xavier releases Munich and drops him back down to the mat with a huge Muscle Press Slam! Xavier quickly hooks the leg, gong for the cover…

"ONE!"

"TWOOO!!"

"THR-- NO!!"

"(Comet) Munich kicks out! The boy's still got some life left!"

"(Riley) Wow… He’s actually hanging in there."

Slightly distressed, Xavier looks to Kivell, arguing the count in a calm manner, while he hauls Munich up to his feet for another onslaught of offense. However, in a last ditch effort to come out of this match with a win, Munich suddenly breaks out of Xavier’s grip and lunges forward, connecting with a big left hook, momentarily stunning Xavier.

"(Comet) And there’s the Lucky Strike!"

"(Riley) Serves Xavier right for being so lax..."

Using that moment to his advantage, Munich places Xavier in a standing headscissors, setting up for a powerbomb, but Xavier proves just too strong for Munich to lift. Suddenly Xavier stands upright, taking Munich up with him. Using his Herculean strength, Xavier lifts Munich on his shoulders in a standing fireman's carry and swiftly drops down, planting Munich with a devastating Death Vally Driver!!

"(Comet) There’s the Death Valley Driver! That has to be it for Munich!"

"(Riley) If Munich kicks out of that one, it'll be a miracle..."

Xavier hooks Munich’s leg for the pin while his partner Manson climbs back into the ring.

"ONE!!!"

"TWOOO!!!"

"THREE!!!!!"

::DING DING!::

"(Comet) That’s all she wrote! Manson and Nathan Xavier come out victorious over Munich in this handicap match."

"(Funyon) Your winners, by pinfall, the team of MANSON AND NATHAN XAAAAVIER!"

"(Riley) It should have been a tag match though… Munich was fed to the wolves when The Masked Man didn't show, and he has to be steamed. None the less, this ending was inevitible considering the odds."

"(Comet) I assume we’ll find out later why The Masked Man didn’t show up, but for now, we’ve got another exiting bout next, when the Birdman and Ryan Dustin go one on one in a Cruiserweight Contendership match."

"(Riley) Oh… I just can’t wait."

In the ring Nathan Xavier and Manson soak up the cheers and applause from the crowd following their win against Munich, while Sasha holds onto Nathan’s left arm, smiling the entire time. Nathan and Munich quickly exchange a friendly handshake, before Manson climbs out of the ring and heads up the ramp, followed by Xavier and Sasha as the camera cuts out.

August 26, 2004

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is to determine the #1 contender to the SWF Cruiserweight Championship!" booms the voice of Funyon.

"I'm an Ouuuuut-law!"

...

"Quick on the draw--Quick on the draw...

Something you never seen before--never seen..."

...

"And I dare a muthafucker to come in my face!"

"Introducing first," continues Funyon, as N.E.R.D’S ‘Lap-dance’ plays. "Making his way to ringside—from Carson City, Nevada, weighing in tonight at 228 pounds, he is the Real Deal... RYAN DUSSSS-TIN!" announces Funyon, while Dustin slaps hands with a few fans. Ryan reaches the ring, climbing up the outside of the turnbuckle, before back-flipping into the squared circle. Ryan discardes his jacket and glasses, then stands at the ready in his corner, as his music fades into the background.

"And his opponent!"

"LEEEET'S GET RETARDED… IN HEEEEEEEEERE!"

The Ford Center erupts into cheers as the Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get Retarded" begins to play and suddenly, the cheering reaches an even higher level as Birdman bursts from behind the curtain onto the stage, dancing around excitedly and flapping his "wings" in beat with the music. Birdman goes down the ramp, slides underneath the ropes and pops to his feet quickly, where he poses on the middle ropes.

“From parts unknown--weighing in tonight at 219 pounds, he is the BIIIIIRDMAN!” Birdman removes his cloth “wings” and tosses them over the top rope to the ring attendant as Funyon exits the ring.

"These two cruisers have never met before, but it should be one heck of a contest... here LIVE in Oklahoma City!"

DING--DING--DING!

"...And this match is underway!" exclaims Comet, as Birdman and Dustin turn the circle, each grappler searching for a chance to attack. Finally, Ryan beckons his opponent forward and the two come together in a collar and elbow tie-up, jockeying for control. "These two cruisers, both coming off hard fought wins--seem to be feeling each-other out in this tie-up." adds Cyclone, taking in the test of wills center ring. The Real Deal, having a distinct strength advantage; uses it and backs the high-flying fowl down to a knee, applying a top wristlock. "What the hell is this, Comet?" questions Riley, sounding a little miffed, as Dustin spins into an arm-wringer. "A wristlock--and now stinking arm wringer!? Is Dustin trying to piss me off? I expected fast action and an even faster finish, Comet! I don't want to see these two any longer than I have to."

"I think the faithful citizens' would disagree with that sentiment." responds Comet, as Birdman pats his shoulder. "And while the pace may be slow right now, Robert, I assure you it won't stay that way for long." continues the masked announcer, while Ryan places more pressure on the arm of Birdman, but Birdy takes this in stride and tucks backward in a roll, before kipping-up directly into a standing position! Far from done after an impressive counter, Birdman spins, turning the Real Deal's arm in a wringer of his own. Ryan, now on the defensive, pats his own shoulder while searching for a route of escape. He cringes in pain as Birdman wrenches away, spinning into a second arm-wringer, but Dustin goes with the flow and rolls forward, continuing his reversal by somersaulting ahead in a headstand-flip! Birdy looks slightly surprised, as Ryan returns the favor, grabbing an arm-wringer post haste.

"The feeling out process continues, citizens." notes Comet, while Bobby fumes not-so-silently beside him. "Citizens' Man and Dustin go 'kip for flip'--"

"But damnit--look at them! They're just right back where they started!" interrupts Riley, clearly not impressed by the athletic display or Ryan cranking on the arm-wrench. "And citizen Man?! You tight toting idiot, he doesn't have a last name! It's Birdman--BIIIIIIIIIRDMAAAAAN!"

"And Avenger!" shouts Cyclone, getting into the moment. "Robert, I believed I was the only lover of the animated adventures of Birdman, but..." continues Comet, spouting off about his favorite episodes and the like, while Bobby just puts his head in his hands.

Meanwhile, in ring, Birdman doesn't really give Dustin the time to assert himself in this new dominate position; taking a step to the side and executing an one-armed cartwheel, back from which he came! The crowd 'oohs' at Birdman's dexterity, but then he slides right back into an arm-wringer... earning an audible curse from Riley. Birdy yanks on the arm of Dustin, then pulls again, sending the Real Deal to a knee. Birdy is in control--brief as it may be, because Ryan lands a palmstrike to Birdman's chest, giving him some space to rear back... and send a palm to his opponents' cheek with a stepping shotei! "--that'll knock a tooth loose." notes Riley, spirits lifting slightly, while Dustin links his hand with the masked Birds' and sprints towards the corner, running the turnbuckles and flinging Birdman halfway across the ring!

"Citizen Dustin gets the first strike, so to speak, sending Birdman flopping towards the canvas with a springboard arm--" says Comet, as Ryan is in the act of arm-dragging, but of course he speaks to soon, because Birdy re-adjusts and lands skidding on a knee!

"That arm drag, much like Jackie Chan's First Strike, was a clear hit, eh Comet?" says a laughing Riley, butting in sarcastically. "But at least it was better than your last movie... which flopped, I believe, like this last attack was suppose to make Birdman do."

Near the corner, Ryan sits slightly stunned by Birdman's agility, who explodes full-steam ahead. Dustin refocuses just in time to see Birdy before he leaps into the air for a hurricanrana--nope, the Real Deal elevates him overhead, sending Birdman sprawling towards the turnbuckle...

...

...but the high-flying fowl shows once again how acrobatic he is, balancing on the corner and then immediately hopping backwards--floating just over the shoulders of Dustin--while lacing his legs around the Real Deals' neck, sending him skittering more than three-quarters across the ring!!

"By the land down under! Now I've seen it all! In Australia water spirals down a sink in reverse, and apparently, in Oklahoma wrestlers are sent spiraling to the canvas with reverse hurricanranas'!!"

Somewhat disoriented, Ryan, clearly a little off his game now, gets to his feet and backpedals into the corner directly behind him. Draped across the ropes, Dustin recover quickly. Birdman is quicker though--quicker than a hiccup, in fact--and speeds forward, jumping onto the chest of Dustin while hooking the back of his neck, falling into a monkey-flip...

"Monkey-flip coming up!"

...but no, you can't monkey-flip the Real Deal, who lands on his feet, stumbling briefly and blinking profusely! "You're 0-for-2, cape boy, including your phantom arm-drag!" adds a giddy Riley, while the crowd lets' loose a cheer in response to Ryan's own display of balance. Birdy hops back up to a vertical base and turns slightly surprised to see Ryan on his feet. Birdman runs full-speed ahead, right towards the just turning Dustin for a clothesline, but the Real Deal ducks low and loops behind, catching a back waistlock and heaving Birdy overhead in a release German suplex...

"Release German!"

...but if you can't monkey-flip the Real Deal, you best believe you can't German the high-flying fowl! "Wrong again, Comet!" adds Bobby, somewhat more pleased by the pace and Comet's lack of luck tonight. "You're 0-for-3 and I love it! Maybe this match will be over quicker than I thought, now that they've picked up the pace." The crowd response is eerily similar, as Birdman lands, checking his knee, while Dustin stumbles backward, still shaken without his wits about him. Birdy slides in behind Ryan, grasping him and looking to heave him up for his patented neck-drop suplex--no, the Real Deal decides otherwise...

Crack!

...and lands one REAL stiff back elbow that sends Birdman to the mat. Hard.

"Citizens', that must be one of the stiffest elbows I've seen in a long while!"

Birdman hits the canvas like a United States boxer in the Olympics and Dustin finally gathers himself, looking unsure that he actually hit Birdy that hard, before dropping into a lateral press...

"Comet, did you see that? I think Dustin loaded his elbow pad!"

ONE!

TW--No, Birdman kicks-out quickly before two! The Real Deal gets up from his knees and pulls Birdy up to his vertical base as well. "A loaded elbow pad? I think not, Robert." reprives Comet. "Did it ever occur to you that Dustin is known as a good striker and may have caught Birdman flush?"

"No." states Bobby in a matter-o-fact tone.

Seemingly still groggy from the straight elbow to the face, Birdman is easy prey for a corner whip, as Dustin backs them both into a neutral corner. Ryan sends Birdman towards the turnbuckles with authority, following him in--but Birdman, even though he's not in his right mind, leaps mid-step onto the top rope. Sadly, his equilibrium is affected just enough to force him into a crouch for balance, while on his perch, allowing the Real Deal the split-second he needs to stop on a dime and send the high-flying fowl soaring...

To the outside barricade, face first, with a beautiful standing dropkick!! The audience moans in sympathy and the front row rises in its' seats, as Birdman crumples to the floor! In ring, Long starts his count, but he can't help but notice the odd look in Ryan Dustin's eyes...

One!

He stares at Birdman who has yet to really move.

Two!

Waiting for some kind of sign.

Three!

And he gets it at the count of three. Birdman makes it to a knee and that's all the movement Ryan needs, running back into the far ropes for momentum...

Fou--

...

Gaining said momentum, Dustin bounds back towards his opponent catapulting into the air with reckless abandon, in an almost Bryan Levy inspired showing of 'illogical impact'--over the friggin' top rope, somersaulting forward mid-flight and landing on the now turned around form of Birdman... WITH A TOPE CON HILO KNOCKING THEM BOTH INTO THE BARRICADE!!!

HO-LY SHIT!

"ZOUNDS!" screams Cyclone, as he and his anounce partner look on at the sheer disheivel outside the ring, speaking over the crowds new mantra of 'Holy shit', which continues on!!

HO-LY SHIT!

"Zounds, indeed, Comet." responds a startled Bobby Riley, in semi-shock. Comet looks at Riley in shock himself that they both agree on something. "By the moons of Jupiter!" he continues, still trying to describe the scene before him. "Citizen Dustin borrowing a page from Birdman's book with a Tope Con Hilo, showing some of those luchadore roots from many moons ago!"

Dustin lifts Birdman up and plants him down, forcing Birdy to straddle the barricade! The front row lets' out another cry of sympathy, as Ryan rolls under the bottom cable to break the count. Successfully ending the count-out, Dustin steps through the ropes onto the apron and staring out into the crowd for a moment. Birdman still sits stagnant on the guardrail, eyes partially open and Ryan tilts his head to the side, slowly bringing his hands up in a 'picture frame'!

THE!

Dustin tilts the 'picture frame' to another angle...

REAL!

And finally, Ryan settles on an angle, completing the trifecta...

DEAL!

The crowd chants 'The Real Deal!' in time with Dustin's hand gestures, just before Ryan leaps from the apron to the barricade... connecting with a jumping snap-kick to Birdman!!! The Real Deal's kick lands clean, but he does not, falling back to the thin outside padding at an awkward angle--while Birdy on the other hand goes sprawling into the not-so-cheap seats after taking the hard kick! The audience lets loose another racous cheer, as Long looks on and then starts the count, after a noticeable delay.

One!

"What do you think of that, Robert?"

Two!

At two, Dustin pushes his face up off the ground, wincing slightly. "At least he can pander to the crowd somewhat. I could do a better job, but that's more than I thought he could do." mentions Riley, as Ryan makes his way to a knee.

Three!

"We all know just how great a job you do at 'pandering'... just ask Tom Flesher." says Comet, faking two gags in time with placing his tongue in cheek, both literally and figuratively, while Ryan stands to his full height.

Four!

Birdman finally stirs, peeking over the barricade while Dustin pulls him over the guardrail with a fist full of tights and what little leverage he can get.

Five!

He slowly drags Birdman with him, who is still shaken up...

But before the count of six, Ryan rolls Birdman into the ring and after taking a brief second to collect himself, does the same. The Real Deal pushes himself to a standing position and attempts to lift Birdman, but the feathered fowl--from his knees--swats his hands away. Dustin won't let that stop him though and hits a forearm strike to Birdy's ribcage stiffling him enough to bring Birdman to his vertical base. Ryan hooks his arms about the left leg of his opponent, then hoists him parallel to the canvas, before planting Birdman with the side slam called a Salto suplex! From his knees, Ryan crawls into a cover...

"Ryan Dustin pulling an old classic from the vault, with that Teardrop suplex, into a cover..."

ONE!

TWO!

TH--No, Birdman kicks-out of the pin! "And with that suplex it's clear that citizen Dustin is softening up the rib cage and lower back of Birdman for his phenominal StarDustin' Press!" Ryan gets up, yanking Birdman with him and landing a strike, before backing Birdy into the ropes and whipping him away. "Irish whip--and Dustin sits waiting for a clothesline--no, Birdman ducks!" Ryan turns and takes after Birdy, but Birdman uses his abnormally great agility once again to handspring forward, bouncing off the ropes and slingshotting backwards, elbow extended!

After the elbow, Birdman sits on his hands and knees attempting to catch his wind, while Dustin lies spread eagle on the mat. Birdman staggers to his feet, without all his faculties, but he runs to the ropes never-the-less and jumps off the middle one in a Lionsault!

Ryan, whether it be presence of mind or sheer luck rolls onto his belly--but the high-flying fowl spots this in mid-flip and adjusts landing on his feet! He checks his knee and stumbles backward into the ropes in an attempt to right himself. Meanwhile, Dustin stands and Birdman rebounds towards Ryan with a desperate flying elbow smash, that the Real Deal turns into! That attack sends the two wrestlers flailing into the corner, directly behind Dustin with Birdman in control. "And Birdman lands a hard blow!" says Comet, as Birdy sets Ryan up in the corner. Birdman, trying to string something together, rears back and strikes with a chest thumping knife-edge chop! The crowd shows their approval with a 'Whooo' and Birdman lifts Dustin's chin once again. "Weaksauce, Comet!" says Riley. "Those pussified chops should be called feather-edge, instead of knife-edge!" Birdy swings away again--

SMACK! WHOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!

--And lands an echo enducing chop to his lanky opponent! Dustin shudders in the corner his chest turning red, while Comet comments. "That 'feather-edge' chop, as you just put it, had more power behind it, than the generators at a nuclear plant! Birdman with a corner whip--and he is finally stringing some offence together. All because of his speed and agility."

"This is destine to fail, Comet." starts Bobby, beginning his rebuttal, as Birdman explodes forward. Once he gets to the corner, Birdman leaps up to the chest of the Real Deal and kicks off in a Tiger wall flip kick!!

"A neat-o backflip wall-kick from Birdman, but I have to ask, Robert, why is this offensive flurry bound to fail?" asks Cyclone, while Birdy preps himself for his next attack, taking a few steps backward, before running forward, prepared to score a Bird-breaker, since Dustin countered his last attempt at a monkey flip...

...but the Real Deal vaults forward from the turnbuckles gathering momentum from god knows where to hit a Burning Lariat!!

"That's why!" says Riley, pointing to the ring, where Dustin stands over the flipped inside-out fowl, until he falls to his knees. "All speed and agility does is delay you getting hit by power, but you can only delay destiny for so long... cause in the poker game-o-life, destiny is the rake. The house always wins, it's just a matter of when."

Ryan shoots a half nelson and hooks the leg, while Long slides into position for the count...

ONE!

TWO!

THRE--No. Birdman gets a weakened kick-out! Ryan stands up slowly and pulls Birdy with him, going back to what he knows, which is suplexing the crap out of his opponent! Dustin stands perpendicular to Birdman and wraps his arms about Birdmans' waist, looking to flip him overhead with a T-bone suplex--nope, Birdman counters with back elbows, swinging away wildly and working his way to the ropes, to save his head from getting implanted into the mat! Getting some separation, Birdman jumps up onto the shoulders of the Real Deal attempting a hurricanrana, but while blocking Dustin stumbles closer to the ropes, under the rapid fire punches of Birdy, who then arches back over the TOP ROPE! "By Zeus," shouts Comet, as Dustin falls to the ground below and Birdman lands shakily on the apron, holding onto the top rope for dear life. "this is what Cruiserweight action is supposed to be!" notes Cyclone, while Birdman climbs through the ropes. Eddy Long starts his count, but Birdy will have none of that just yet...

"CA-CAW-CAW!" calls Birdman, cupping his hands in front of his face. And the crowd is quick to respond!

CA-CAW-CAW!

"This can't be good, Comet!" says Riley, as Birdman takes off--full sprint--towards the far ropes. "Cawing can't be good..." he adds, while the high-flying fowl does a cartwheel flowing immediately into a back handspring near the ropes...

...

"Definitely. Not. Good!"

...

...and finishing with A GODDAMN TWISTING BODY PRESS TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!

...!!!

HO-LY SHIT!

"Did you SEE that Comet?" says an incredulous Riley, not able to look away from the intangeled wrestlers in a heap, just in front of the barricade. "Has Birdbrain lost his everlovin' mind?!"

"I think not, Robert!" responds Comet, while on the outside it looks like a car wreck has occured. Eddy Long can't even take his eyes off the two desimated wrestlers to start the count-out. Cyclone realizing they'll be void of action for a while, continues to speak. "In fact, Birdman has just emphatically proven the old adage, high risk--high reward! With two manuevers he has completely turned the tide of this match-up in his favor!" the masked announcer takes a breath. "Ryan Dustin may have used Birdman's signature Tope con Hilo, but Birdman was not to be outdone! He took it to the next level and beyond with that--that varitation--no combination, of a Flying Space Tiger Press and Corkscrew Moonsault~!" Eddy Long looks on, completely forgetting to count for about twenty seconds...

...

Birdman stands, dragging Dustin with him, as he makes his way back towards the ring and Ryan gets tossed back in--Birdy slowly goes for the pin off of his crazy luchadore antics. "Birdman looking to end it here after that insane manuever! Could we have a winner? Could Birdman score the victory on his first pin attempt of the match?!"

ONE!

TWO!

THREE--Noooo! Ryan kicks-out! Birdman sits up slightly shocked, but doesn't let it distract him, lifting the Real Deal up to his feet and landing quick feather-edge chops to back Dustin into corner!! "Cross-corner whip by Birdman--who charges--boot up, boot up!" calls Comet, while Birdy stumbles out of the corner. Ryan, facing the back of Birdman uses the turnbuckle to leap onto Birdman's shoulders! As Birdman moves forward into center ring, Ryan does one of his rarest hurricanrana variations.

...

He arches back in a Spike Hurricanrana!!!

...!

"He's cheating!" screams Riley, out of reflex from earlier in the match, but Comet calls him on it, thankfully, while a 'Ry-an!' chant starts. "He didn't even use his elbow that time?! It was a spike hurricanrana!"

"Well okay, he might not have a loaded elbow pad, but look at Dustin--he definitely looks like he's loaded!" snipes Riley, as both men sit on the mat. Ryan, eyes glazed over, can only roll onto his belly and stare up at the lights, when Eddy Long starts the count, the crowd counting along...

"OOONNNNEEEE!"

"TWWWWOOOO!"

"THHRREEEEEEE!"

"FOOOUUURRRR!"

"FIIIIVEEEEEEEE!"

"SSSIIIIIIIIXXX!"

"SEV-EEEENNNN!"

"EEIIIIIGGHHH--"

And they both struggle up to their feet! Dustin stumbles forward and blasts Birdman with a forearm strike -- but Birdman fires back, lighting Ryan's chest up with a feather-edge chop!! The crowd 'whoos' but Dustin takes the blow in stride and belts Birdman with a second uuber-stiff forearm!! Birdman wobbles, but fights back with another chop!! Dustin, taking the lesser of the two strikes rallies, hitting a third forearm!! Birdy moves to attack again, but Dustin hits a shotei to the chest for spacing and then rushes forward whalloping Birdman with a fourth and final forearm!!! "Dustin has been out striking Birdman all night and it shows through this late in the match. His blows just can't seem to do the same damage as citizen Dustin's--who sends Birdman away with a whip even thought they're both tired." calls Comet (with Riley yelling 'I told you so!'), as Birdman rides the ropes, rebounding back towards Dustin who picks him up for a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster, but as he's done so many times before, Birdman counters in mid-rotation, wrapping his hands behind the neck of Dustin and jutting his knees under the Real Deal's jaw... all while falling to the canvas, ending in a stunning blow know as the Bird-breaker!! Birdman goes for a cover, hooking the leg; the crowd counting along...

"OOOOONNNNNNEEEE!"

"TWWWWWWOOOOOO!"

"THHHHRRREEEEEEEEE!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dustin gets a shoulder up! "Close two count for Birdman there, Robert!" notes Cyclone, but Riley is quick to cut him and Birdman down.

"Come on, Comet--you can't tell me you thought he'd win off a move named Bird-breaker no matter how he hit it."

Birdman gets up, and goes back to what he know. Flying! Birdman makes his way over to the nearest corner and scales the turnbuckles, poised and ready for Ryan to get up. The Real Deal gets up to a knee. Then to his feet and the crowd is cheering wildly, as Dustin turns around, eyes going wide at the floating form of Birdman, who hits the cross-body--no!! Ryan reverses the momentum turning the cross-body into a pin of his own!!

"OOOOONNNNNNEEEE!"

"TWWWWWWOOOOOO!"

"THHHHRRREEEEEEEEE!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Birdman shoots a wing up off the canvas! The crowd lets loose another huge cheer, just chanting along with the quicked action. "High risk--high reward just got proven wrong, Comet! If you go for too many, even a drunk like Dustin will counter."

Dustin grabs Birdman, and sends him into the corner with a shotei to the chest. Birdman sprawls backwards, but Dustin isn't done--lambasting him with european uppercuts in the corner to weaken him for a cross-corner whip--nope! Birdy gets a reversal and pressing for a win, follows Dustin in after he hit hard, back first! Birdman charges forward, but Ryan still has the presence of mind to duck low, elevating Birdy UP OVER THE TOP ROPE--NO! Birdman shows his spectacular balance once again by landing on the apron!! Dustin turns and gets his forehead rammed into the top turnbuckle! Stunned, Ryan can do nothing as Birdman leaps over the top rope...

...Springboards off the bottom rope, floating through an Asai Moonsault while grasping a reverse chancery MID-AIR...

...

...Landing on the canvas--to pause and pose briefly--only to DRIVE DUSTIN INTO THE MAT WITH A REVERSE DDT!!!

"High-risk, Bobby! They both live by it and whoever hit the highest impact move will win this match!"

"Are you kidding me?" shrieks Bobby, as the crowd chants 'Bird-man'! "An Asai Moonsault DDT?!" he asks, as Birdman reaches forward after a slight delay and pulls a leg over top in an pin attempt...

"OOOOONNNNNNEEEE!"

"TWWWWWWOOOOOO!"

"THHHHRRREEEEEEEEE!"

...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Dustin wriggles a shoulder off the mat! Birdman cannot believe it! He stares at Long, who just say 'two', but that doesn't console him. it won't do to ask the ref again, so back to the attack! Birdman tries to lift Dustin up to his feet, but the Real Deal sandbags and rolls towards the ropes, trying to buy time. "Ryan Dustin knows he's in trouble here, Comet!" says Riley, as Birdman finally gets him up to his feet but in the ropes. "I'll agree, Robert. And who wouldn't be after that Asai DDT?!"

Not able to whip him, Birdy softens him up with a feather-edge chop, while the crowd 'Whoos'--but he can't get him to release! Birdman hits another and another feather-edge, but Ryan won't let go! "He's klinging to it like it's a bottle of alcohol, Comet. There's no way you'll get him off the--woah!" shouts Riley, as Ryan ducks underneath a chop and pops into a waistlock, arching back in a German suplex and holding a bridge, as he stacks Birdman on his neck and shoulders with an empathic THUD!!! The crowd is too surprised to count with Long...

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

...

NOOOOBIRDMANPUSHESOUTOFTHEBRIDGEONTOHISSTOMACH!

"Ryan Dustin couldn't get the release German earlier in the match so this time he made sure to hold on tight! It's a shame for Ryan, but Birdman still had something left in the tank."

Ryan gets up and whips Birdy, but Birdman returns like a mexican jumping bean, desperately catapulting himself at Dustin and wrapping his legs about him, transitioning into a Rube-Goldberg bulldog out of nowhere!

"Where does Birdbrain get this fighting-spirit, Comet?"

Dustin hits the mat hard and Birdy flips him to his back, slowly making his way to the top rope for his Bird Dropping--the crowd rising from their seats--but as he dives Ryan rolls out of the way, causing Birdman to miss the Northern exposer!!!

"Both men are down--this is anybodies game, Bobby!"

"OOONNNNEEEE!"

...

"TWWWWOOOO!"

Birdman begins to move.

"THHRREEEEEEE!"

His neck and leg are hurting.

"FOOOUUURRRR!"

He had this match won.

"FIIIIVEEEEEEEE!"

And Birdman knows it only takes a second for him to win any match.

"SSSIIII--"

Birdman hobbles forward, his leg bothering him after all the high-risk moves he's both hit and missed. He can't help but check his aching leg and in that second a foot comes flying into his face... the attacker falls back to the mat, just a quickly as he hit his opponent!!!

As he falls, Birdman realizes the same can be said for Ryan Dustin.

"By Zeus, Bobby! Done Deal! DONE DEAL! Superkick, outta-nowhere!!!"

After a slight delay, Dustin climbs the turnbuckles, gives the fans a final tired look and arches back in a moonsault, twisting into a 450 splash as he goes and hitting his StarDustin' Press~!! Ryan bounces off the broken form of Birdman clutching his ribs for a few seconds and then falls into a pin, the crowd counting...

"StarDustin' Press connects--this one is in the books citizens!"

"OOOOONNNNNNEEEE!"

"TWWWWWWOOOOOO!"

"THHHHRRREEEEEEEEE!"

!!!

DING--DING--DING!

"The winner of this match and #1 contender to the Cruiserweight Championship... RYAN DUSSSSSSS-TIN!" announces Funyon, as Ryan gets up to his knees and has his hand raised.

"What a cruiserweight match, Bobby!"

"Yeah, Comet, it was okay. Beating Birdbrain is one thing, but can Ryan Dustin beat Tom Flesher? Ha--I think not!"

"We shall see, Robert..." says Comet, as they prep for the commercials. Dustin can hear the cheers of the crowd split for both competitors, but he knows in his heart, this match came down to a second. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

Edited August 26, 2004 by Thoth

August 26, 2004

The scene returns to the Ford Center as the sold-out crowd rises to it’s feet as Funyon climbs into the ring!

Comet: Welcome back citizens young and old to SWF Lockdown! Well, I have to say it has been an interesting show so far Robert, wouldn’t you agree?

Robert: Comet, interesting is a poor word for it. To me, it looks like Genesis will be one hell of a show if this keeps up!

Comet: For once, miraculously, we agree on something. But for now, Funyon is in the ring and we are ready for our next bout!

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for ONE FALL!!

All is quiet, the crowd growing uncomfortable, until …

*BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!*

The hard bass line strikes of Muse’s ‘Hyper Music’ signal the entrance of the one and only Ace Lezaire, striding out from behind the curtain with a cocky grin on his dial. He stands at the top of the stage, raising his arms to the heavens, thanking them for his looks and talent as…

*BOOM!*

…Two tall bursts of pyro explode either side of him, before the Prodigy heads to the ring, waving to the fans graciously as they boo the hell out of him.

Funyon: Introducing first, weighing in at two hundred and thirty four pounds… he hails from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada… he is The Prodigy… ACE LEZAIRE!!!

As Ace climbs into the ring, the crowd just lets him have it, booing him out of the building. But the self-appointed “Canada’s Greatest Hope” just stands in the center of the ring and absorbs it, loving every second of the hate they are spewing at him, a small smile slowly spreading across his face.

Riley: Comet, I don’t think I am exaggerating when I call this man a future lynchpin of the Fed!! Why, I expect him to make a leap to the sacred levels of the main event!!

Comet: Muzzle it Robert… Funyon has the mike again!

The lights go out...

several seconds of hushed silence cause the crowd to become restless...

they are clapping, talking, shouting, waving signs, waiting for whatever is about to happen...

::Crack!!!::

The crowd, simply put, explodes!

The crack of a bat and the roar of the crowd announce Grand Slam!! It quickly fades into the opening bass of "Born Bad", his classic anthem. The SmarkTron lights up with baseball highlights mixed with big spots from Grand Slam's matches while flashing the words "Grand Slam", "Mark Stevens" and "The Heavy Hitter". The various multicolored lights flash in time with the rhythmic bass until the guitars crash and the lead singer cries out "Born Bad!", then the arena is flooded with bright white light!! Red and white pyro explodes at the top of the entrance ramp!! When the smoke clears and everyone can see again, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens is standing underneath the SmarkTron!!! The crowd erupts in even more cheers for the Heavy Hitter!!!

Funyon: And his opponent… hailing from Lincoln, Nebraska (huge pop from one section of the audience holding a “Lincoln Loves Grand Slam” sign) and weighing in at three hundred and one pounds… he is the Heavy Hitter… “GRAND SLAM” MARK STEVENS!!

As Funyon makes his announcement, the Heavy Hitter walks down the ramp slowly, savoring every moment of cheers and pointing at various fans, slapping hands and keeping them screaming! Tonight, as the camera zooms in, he is wearing a classic Midnight Carnival baseball cap!! When the crowd sees this, they cheer even louder, nearly drowning out his music!! Grand Slam steps into the ring between the ropes and heads to a corner. He then climbs to the second turnbuckle, looks at the crowd, then pumps his right fist into the air several times, firing the crowd up even more and causing a flurry of flashbulbs to pop, illuminating the ring like a strobe-light!! Before dropping back to the mat, Grand Slam flings his cap out to the crowd, giving some lucky fan a unique souvenir from the SWF!!!

But before he can drop down to the mat, before he can even remove the varsity jacket he wears to the ring, Ace charges from the opposite corner and plants a hard forearm in the Heavy Hitter’s lower back!! Grand Slam is stunned just long enough for Ace to put his head between Grand Slam’s knees, lift up and fall back, driving Stevens to the mat with a hard Electric Chair Drop!!

Comet: What a cowardly attack Robert!! Grand Slam never had time to take off his jacket! This is a miscarriage of justice!

The ref slides into the ring as Funyon bails and signals for the bell!

**Ding ding ding**

Riley: Oh pipe down willya? Ace is taking advantage of the fact that Grand Slam is dumb enough to turn his back on his opponent!

Ace isn’t letting up in the ring either, stomping on Grand Slam’s chest and stomach, trying to keep the bigger man from drawing a deep breath! Finally, satisfied with the destruction, Ace backs off for just a second, giving the Heavy Hitter time to push himself to one knee. Once Stevens’ head is in the proper position though, Lezaire charges at his, spinning just before he makes it to him and delivering a brutal spinning elbow smash right to the left eye of the Heavy Hitter, dropping him back to the mat!

Riley: Wow! Who would have thought that Ace could come out charging like this Comet? He’s clobbered Grand Slam so far!

Comet: It is early yet Robert! We’ve seen Mark Stevens come back from far worse beatings than this and win the match!

Riley: Not recently! This isn’t Grand Slam, former World Champion Comet! This is Grand Slam, Couch Potato in the ring!

Ace isn’t as patient this time. He grabs a handful of red hair and hauls Grand Slam to his feet. Already, the crowd and the home audience can see the eye starting to bruise, and there is a small cut on the outside of the orbit just starting to seep blood. He looks at the former champ with disgust, then grabs his arm and whips him hard into the ropes… bounce back… Grand Slam ducks under a clothesline, grabs the arm and locks Ace into a fast Full Nelson!

Riley: Dammit!

Grand Slam pulls Ace up, but the younger man still has his wits about him! With amazing speed, he uses the momentum to flip himself over Grand Slam’s head, change the full nelson into a double keylock and fall backwards, pulling Grand Slam down hard into a nasty, double-arm submission!

Riley: Ha ha!! He’s been studying tapes! He knew about the Full Nelson series Grand Slam uses and was bound and determined to reverse it into a modified version of his finisher!!

Comet: I’ll admit it was clever, but I don’t think he has that fully locked in yet!

Indeed, Comet’s wise words are true, and Ace is struggling to maintain the hold on the Heavy Hitter! Finally, knowing he is fighting a losing battle, the Prodigy rolls over, putting Grand Slam face first on the mat and switches fast to a side headlock, maintaining control of Stevens! But Grand Slam has been to too many barbeques to let this happen. He uses all of his strength to push himself to his feet, then runs forward into the ropes, pushing ace off as he goes! Ace bounces off the ropes… bounce again as Grand Slam turns around… Dropsault right in the kisser!! Grand Slam goes down hard as Ace lands on the mat right next to him. The Sovereign of Swagger jumps right on top of the big man and hooks the leg…

1… 2… 3..No!! Grand Slam kicks out just in time!

Riley: That was close Comet! We almost had a winner!

Comet: And what an upset that would be Robert! The youngster defeating a true SWF legend!

Riley: Not as much of an upset as you’d think, but it is still a huge feather in his cap to win this one!

Ace gets to his feet and hauls Grand Slam up with him. Now there is more blood on Grand Slam’s face! The camera catches a split lip dribbling blood down into Grand Slam’s beard and his left eye starting to puff up and close! Ace pulls him fast into a front facelock, then with a defiant yell throws him up and over, then falls out, nailing Stevens with a huge Hangman’s Neckbreaker!!

Riley: This is great Comet! Ace Lezaire is hitting moves on Grand Slam at will! Total domination!!

Comet: I have to think that Grand Slam is not 100% Robert! Perhaps his two previous matches, particularly the brutal match he had against John Duran, have taken more out of him than anyone guessed!

Ace stands up and looks out at the crowd, gesturing to the carcass of Grand Slam as if to say, “This is your hero?” The crowd, sitting in stunned silence for most of this match, comes alive. The boo, they jeer, they heckle, they taunt, they mock… and Ace Lezaire, the Prodigy, eats it up. Finally, behind him, Grand Slam pushes his way unsteadily to his feet. The crowd sees him and changes their derision to cheers! Grand Slam seems encouraged, standing up straight for the first time in this match! But thee crowd’s cheers also have the effect of tipping off Mr. Lezaire. The Sovereign of Swagger spins around quickly, looking to land a hard discus punch, but finds Grand Slam wisely just out of range! The Heavy Hitter takes advantage, grabbing Lezaire by the arm and whipping him hard into the ropes!! Ace charges out of the ropes, catching Grand Slam long before the big man has a chance to turn all the way around with a huge, prime-time jumping wheel kick that knocks Mark down to the mat, one hand holding his chin, blood starting to leak out of his mouth.

Comet: Grand Slam can’t seem to get on track here like he did against either Duran or Ced Riley.

Riley: Since his return, he hasn’t had to deal with someone quite as athletic and fast, with the unorthodox style of Ace Lezaire!

Ace pops back to his feet and runs to the corner! In a hot second he hops to the second rope, then bounds to the third, then launches himself out with a huge Triple Jump Moonsault, crashing down hard onto the prone Heavy Hitter!

Comet: That was dangerous Robert! What would have happened if he missed that move?

Riley: At this point, the only thing dangerous about that was using up all of the moves he knows! Grand Slam is defenseless!!

Ace hooks the leg, looking for the pinfall…

1… 2… 3… Grand Slam just barely gets his shoulder up a fraction of an inch! The crowd goes nuts as Ace threatens the referee with violence, sure in his mind that was a three count. The zebra insists on his ruling though, and Ace goes back to work slamming a forearm across the bridge of Grand Slam’s nose over and over! After six or seven shots, the young man gets slowly to his feet and grabs a handful of red hair. Ever so slowly he pulls the Hall of Famer to his feet.

Comet: Grand Slam is nearly out of it! His eye is swollen shut! My God Robert! I’ve never seen Grand Slam in this shape!

Riley: I’ve been waiting years… years I tell you!… for a match like this.

Ace makes sure Grand Slam is standing on his own, then takes a step back. He measures his shot, lining the kick up carefully and delivering a toe kick right into the Mark’s breadbasket! The Heavy Hitter is doubled over! The crowd fills the air with hatred, knowing what is coming next! Ace Lezaire, clearly enjoying every agonizing moment, turns around and hooks Mark’s head with his right arm, then sits out!

Comet: No!!

Riley: Ace Crusher!! Ace Crusher!!

“Grand Slam” Mark Stevens’ head snaps back and the Heavy Hitter falls lifelessly to the mat! Ace rolls him onto his back and makes a very arrogant cover, not even bothering to hook a leg. The ref drops to the mat…

1… 2… 3!!!

The ref signals for the bell!!

**Ding ding ding**

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner… ACE LEZAIRE!!!

“Hyper Music” kicks in again as Ace rises to his feet and waits for the ref to raise his hand in victory, but the ring official is still on the mat, trying to get a clearly unconscious Grand Slam to come to! When he has no luck, he signals to the back for help!

Riley: That ref could have counted to thirty if he wanted Comet! Grand Slam is KO’d!!

Comet: And “Citizen” Lezaire could care less! Look at him!

On the ramp, medical officials push a stretcher towards the ringside area, while in the ring, Lezaire grabs the ref by the back of his shirt and pulls him to his feet, yelling at him to raise his hand! Reluctantly, the official grabs Ace’s arms and begins to raise it in victory, but the ever-cocky Ace pulls it out of his hand and raises it himself!!

Comet: Do you mean to tell me he pulled the ref away from an injured man just to do that! Shenanigans! Low-down dirty shenanigans!!

Riley: That’s what makes Ace Lezaire great Comet! He knows how much better than everyone he is, and he isn’t afraid who knows it!

Lezaire rolls out of the ring and starts up the ramp, arms still raised high in victory. In the ring, the EMTs are putting a neck brace and back board on Mark Stevens, who is still unconscious.

Comet: Ladies and Gentlemen, we need to take a break! We’ll be right back!

As the scene fades, the viewers at home see Grand Slam finally being placed on the stretcher and wheeled up the ramp…

August 26, 2004

After the match ends the camera immediately cuts backstage, where we can see the unmistakable profile of the Suicide King in front of a monitor. The man's shoulders shake up and and down as he tries to hold in his emotions. Unable to bottle them up any longer, he lets them out...

"AHAHHAHAAHAHAHHA!!!!"

Grinning like an idiot and wiping his eyes free of the tears, the Suicide King watches the remnants of Mark Stevens being assisted out of the ring.

"Beautiful. Just beautiful. That was EXACTLY what I wanted. Showing absolutely everyone that Mark Stevens is nothing but a joke! All things considered, tonight is shaping up nicely. Once Maddix has learned his lesson, I think we can safely put tonight's show in the win column."

Turning to walk away, the King pulls out a cellphone as he walks out of frame. As the camera focuses again on the monitor and we see the grimace of pain on Grand Slam's unconscious face, the last sounds we hear are King's one-sided conversation...

"Mindy? Yes, it's Mr. Applewhite. Do be so kind as to give Mr. Ace Lezaire of the SWF a $5000 bonus on his paycheck, would you? Oh, and leave Mr. Zenon a message that I would like more of the same for Stevens next week."

And fade.

August 26, 2004

Duran versus Flesher has been unavoidably delayed. Here instead for your consumption is a classic Suicide King match, because I am in fact that big of an egomaniac. Besides, you can all read this and tell me how much I suck.

NIN’s “Burn” sounds throughout the arena as we come back from the recap of the last match’s ending, showing Axis and Perfect Bo throwing down! We immediately cut back to the announce table and the Dynamic Duo of IGNWF announcing, NTD and Curry Man! They are having a hard time speaking over the capacity crowd, still cheering from the great match they just witnessed…

Curry starts off, “I think it is safe to say that that was the most intense ICTV battle we have had in a long time NTD!”

“What you say is true Curry,” NTD replies, “but it will be nothing compared to the next match on the card, which is personal in a BIG way! The new leader of the Midnight Carnival Edwin MacPhisto takes on the old leader and newest sellout, the Suicide King!”

“Chapter 437 in the Carnival/IGNWO war! And if you think these men don’t know each other and all their tricks inside and out, you would be wrong!” Curry notes. “And that knowledge can only mean that this I Quit match will be more brutal than anything we could imagine!”

“Maybe so, but both of these men are proud! Arrogant even! I can’t imagine either one of them giving in.”

Curry snorts in distaste, “And of course we saw earlier that the Gambling Man had taken steps to stack the deck in his favor by pumping his mouth full of painkillers, thus preventing him from speaking! How will this match end if he is actually incapable of saying ‘I quit?’”

“It will end the only way it could Curry, with my newest hero demolishing the Mac Daddy in his own unique style!” NTD squeals.

“We’ll see about that,” Curry begrudgingly offers, “but if anyone can rise above the double-dealing of the Suicide King it is MacPhisto, and I for one would love to see Edwin beat the hearts right off his tights!”

NTD claps his hands like a pre-schooler who managed to get the square peg in the round hole. “But Funyon is in the ring, and that means we are ready for the last beatdown before the main event!! The Crown Prince of Flash and Panache, or the Heartbreaker? Who will it be?”

Funyon stands in the ring, gulping nervously. He never could get used to these PPV crowds. “The following match is an I Quit match!”

Immediately the arena erupts into cheers as they realize exactly what is coming next. The camera quickly flashes to two signs side by side in the upper decks… one proclaims “KoH = King of Heels!!!” The other expresses the far more popular opinion that “Tonight Edwin Dethrones the King!” The camera flashes back to the ring where Funyon continues over the cheering…

“Disqualifications and count-outs are not in effect, and the only way to win is to force your opponent to say ‘I Quit’ as witnessed by the referee! Introducing first, from Amsterdam, England… weighing in at 232 pounds… he is the leader of the Midnight Carnival, EDWINNNNN MACCCCCCPHISTOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”

Immediately the Fleet Center explodes into cheers as the house lights drop out. The hovering, haunting beginning of “Battleflag” by the Lo-Fidelity All-Stars starts to float through the arena and the IGNTron fires up, providing the only source of illumination in the form of grey silhouettes fading in and out, silhouettes of a man with his arms outstretched, a man holding a microphone, and a man leaning on a lamppost. A light beat drops in, and the voice of Edwin MacPhisto rises up from the back filled with unusual energy, even for him…

“Heartbreaker, Dreammaker, Lovetaker don’t you mess around with me! Tonight you gamble with your life King, and it certainly will be career suicide for you! I saw your dental adventures earlier, but even the greatest DDS will be unable to save your loose lips from sinking your ship tonight! Because tonight you finally get what anyone who breaks the Carnie Code gets… an Old Testament BUTT-kicking? Can I say BUTT at a Pay-per-View? Either way, make sure you have that dentist on speed dial because you’ll need him later tonight when you’re picking your teeth up off the canvas! HALLELUJAH QUEEN OF BITCHES, THE DEVIL’S IN TOWN! And for one night only he’s willing to take you on the fast train to Hell for the royal treatment, Kingy!”

“Strong words from Macphisto!” Curry yells.

NTD responds, “It’ll take more than words to put away the Suicide King, Curry!”

The music swells to a thick, bumping human beatbox beneath Edwin’s words, and a pair of blue spotlights begin to swing back and forth across the entrance way, moving like pendulums in sync with the beat. The music makes its final swell and the spotlights break off their pendulous paths and spiral out into the arena, completely symmetrical in their ripping arc until they come back to the entrance stage and meet, a stuttering drumbeat echoing as they collide and send forth a wall of sudden purple strobe lights. The vocals of “Battleflag” drop in and two pillars of red pyro streak upwards from either side of the entrance ramp, prompting red and gold disco lights to whirl around the arena as the IGNTron shows highlights from Edwin’s career. The man himself steps out into the spectacle (resplendent in his red vinyl trenchcoat and silver-streaked red hair), absorbs the audience’s applause, and then makes his way down to the ring, removing his coat, tossing it over the top rope, and sliding under the bottom rope to catch it on the other side. Edwin quickly circles the ring, whipping his coat over his head in frantic circles that drive the audience even deeper in cathartic, earth-shaking applause! Edwin moves over to Funyon, doing a slightly disturbing bump-and-grind against the Snack Attack, who gamely attempts to go on with the announcements…

“Introducing his opponent… STOP THAT. From Dayton, Ohio… weighing in at 224 pounds… he is the original Gambling Man, THE SUICIIIIIIIDE KIIINNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!”

The capacity crowd doesn’t even wait until Funyon is finished before raining boos from the stands. The arena goes dark as the voice of Ozzy Ozborne screams out, "ALL ABOARD!! AH HAH HAH HAH!!" The stage suddenly explodes as a wall of crimson pyro shoots skyward, deafening and blinding those closest. When the pyro finishes the wailing guitar chords of Ozzy Ozborne's "Crazy Train" pick up in volume and the Suicide King is revealed, posing cockily as the crowds pours their derision on him (and the few sparse cheers from desperate women). Smirking in disdain he makes his way down to the ring, strutting like he is the single greatest thing since sliced bread and taking special effort to let everyone know it. Making his way to ringside, he jumps up to stand on the ring apron and moves provocatively between the ropes after eyeing MacPhisto to insure he won’t take advantage.... Once inside the ring the Suicide King circles the ropes, warily staring with an open grin toward his one-time friend, making sure that everyone in attendance gets a good, long look at the most talented, entertaining, and handsome man in wrestling today. The men swear, the women squeal, and the IGNWF collects another fortune in merchandising... the Suicide King casually brushes the hair out of his eyes and vaults up a corner turnbuckle, taking the opportunity to let the fans know what he really thinks of them…

“Not smart King!” Curry yells out.

Apparently not so as Edwin rushes in, nailing the Suicide King with a hard forearm to the back that sends the blonde heel over the ropes and on to the unforgiving floor! The Gambling Man lands hard, rolling to a stop by the barricade as the crowd explodes at Edwin’s ambush…

DING DING DING!!!

The King rises to his hands and knees on the outside, shaking his head to clear away the fog… Edwin circles the ropes inside, taking the moment to do an uncanny pantomime of the King’s vainglorious strutting and posing, netting a deep belly laugh from everyone in attendance except one…

“That isn’t funny at all! He ambushes the King and then makes fun of him? What sort of world are we living in?” NTD demands to know.

King groggily gets back to his feet, clearly unhappy at already being taken out of his game. He turns in place to regard the ring and his face has only a moment to register shock as Edwin sails through the air, crashing on to the Suicide King with a high-vaulting tope suicida!!! Both men crash to the ground as the ref shakes his head and the fans scream with approval…

Curry screams out, “My God!! Ten seconds into the match and Edwin is already destroying the King with extreme prejudice!”

“These two men hate each other so much that the ring won’t be able to contain this match!” NTD yells.

The wreckage outside the ring is impressive considering the match’s length thus far… both men untangle themselves from the mess of limbs and begin to rise slowly to their feet. Edwin unsurprisingly recovers first, moving over to the slower King and proceeding to rock his world with several lightning fast forearm shots to the back of the neck before whipping him under the bottom rope… the King rolls in and up, quickly getting back to his feet as Edwin sneaks under the bottom rope, only to get nailed with a fast diving dropkick to the ribs! Edwin flops over on to his belly, leaving his ribs open to a world of hurt as the Suicide King rains stomp after stomp down on the Brit’s side… quickly lifting Edwin up the King whips him against the ropes, bounce back and Edwin goes up and over, spinning in the Gambling Man’s arms before landing spine first on his outstretched knee!!!

“Oof! Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by the King, and looks like the wrestling match has finally started!” Curry notes. “I was afraid these two wouldn’t be able to muster the self-control needed to take this past a pier 6 brawl!”

King quickly moves to take advantage of his momentum, raining closed fists down on MacPhisto’s upper back and neck, clearly attempting to damage the area for later usage. Trading in fists for knees, the King raises himself high into the air before dropping both knees on the back of Edwin’s neck, prompting a cry of pain from the fan favorite. Quickly lifting Edwin vertical at the waist, the Heartbreaker cinches in a tight chinlock accentuated by his knee at the back of the Mac Daddy’s head…

“A chinlock? Who is he kidding? No way Edwin will quit from that!” Curry says.

“Bah! This is only the beginning of the surgical, methodical assault of the King!” NTD replies.

The King is really cranking back on MacPhisto’s neck, sandwiching it between his hands and knee… the ref is there to ask the obligatory question, but it’s clear from Edwin’s eyes that it isn’t over, not by a long shot. King maintains the hold, maintains the hold… until it’s clear it isn’t going anywhere. With a cocky sneer, the King releases Edwin, dropping the back of his head into the mat! The Suicide King stands fully upright, placing one foot on Edwin’s chest and creating a photo opportunity of epic proportions…

“His cockiness is going to get him killed!” Curry yells.

“Psychological warfare!” NTD says, defending the King’s questionable tactics. “He’s establishing his superiority now and letting Edwin know that there’s point in going on!”

That isn’t the message Edwin is taking from this lesson though, as his hands move up to grab King’s wayward foot. The King looks down and shakes his foot violently to free it of its captor to no avail, as Edwin spins on the mat, sweeping the King’s other leg out from under him! MacPhisto quickly spins on the mat and mounts the King’s back, wrenching in a nasty improvised single crab! It isn’t locked in for very long however as King retracts his other leg, kicking MacPhisto in the back of his knee and prompting him to break the hold! Both men stand upright again, King slightly favoring one leg as they come together, exchanging right hands… the King quickly gets the advantage and backs Edwin back into the ropes… Irish whip, reversed by Edwin sends the Gambling Man across the ring! Bounce back and the King is quickly doubled over by a swift toe kick to the gut. Edwin grabs him around the neck and lifts the heel up into a quick vertical suplex, only for the King to float over and cinch in an inverted facelock from behind… no one will ever know what the Suicide King had planned however, as he is stopped in his tracks by the sudden and incredibly disturbing pelvic gyrations of MacPhisto, immediately followed by a firm over-the-shoulder palm strike to the King’s nose!!! The Heartbreaker releases the hold, his eyes watering from the sudden pain of Edwin’s impromptu shotei… Edwin smirks as the crowd pops, but the King will have none of it, lashing out with a clothesline that Edwin ducks almost casually before responding with a springing side kick right to the King’s jaw, sending him down for the count!

‘What an exchange!” Curry marks out. “Clearly the key there was the superior striking of the Mac Daddy, getting him out of not one but two dangerous situations!”

“Move and countermove… it’s clear that these men trained together!” NTD says.

Edwin is back on the King like white on rice, lifting him up into a side headlock. The Mac Daddy runs a couple of steps forward before spinning in place, with the end result of the Suicide King’s face becoming intimate with his knee at a high rate of speed!! The King bounces limply on the canvas, momentarily out of it as the crowd rejoices!

“Midnight Special, and the King is utterly at the mercy of the Brit with the wit!” Curry squeals.

Edwin is no fool and continues to press his advantage, again lifting the King but this time whipping him hard into a corner turnbuckle… King speeds into the turnbuckles chest first, bouncing slightly and then sinking against them for some measure of support and relief from the assault of Edwin. Unsurprisingly they offer little protection from the Carnie as he follows the King in, nailing him in the back of the head with a harsh running clothesline! It’s clear that the King’s troubles aren’t over yet as Edwin reaches in and grabs both of his arms, yanking them back as he puts one foot on the base of the Heartbreaker’s spine! The crowd erupts into life as MacPhisto locks in the First Circle with the added discomfort of the turnbuckles against the King’s chest! The response from the Suicide King is as dramatic as it is immediate, prompting the heel to scream out loud from the pain with absolutely nowhere to go!!!

Curry marks out again, since that is what he’s paid to do. “First Circle from Edwin, one of the most painful submissions out there! The only escape is giving up, but will the King’s mouth be big enough to swallow his pride?”

NTD responds joyfully, “This is where King’s plan is so beautiful Curry… even if he wants to give up he can’t! Edwin will have to knock him out, and that won’t win him the match!”

The King continues to scream in pain incoherently as the ref asks him the obligatory question. Realizing that it will take more to get the King to submit, Edwin tries a different route… tunes from Broadway musicals sung incredibly off key!!!

“I’m pretty sure that that was banned by the Geneva convention,” Curry notes as Edwin launches into verse two of “Macavity the Mystery Cat.”

The Suicide King shakes frantically, attempting to muscle his way out of the corner through the pain, but Edwin holds every advantage… mass, height, leverage, and technical prowess combine to give the King a very bad day indeed. The King shakes his head “NO!” frantically each time the ref asks, but it’s clear that the hold is taking its toll…

“King better figure something out fast or this one will be over before it’s properly begun!” Curry says.

AS if on cue, King’s eyes light up with desperation. Quickly turning slightly with Edwin against one of the ropes, the King’s throws Edwin’s balance off just long enough TO RUN UP THE TURNBUCKLES, ONE, TWO, THREE, BACK-FLIPPING OVER THE SURPRISED MAC DADDY!! Edwin is completely helpless as the Suicide King throws an arm around his neck before plowing the back of his head into the mat with a diving reverse DDT!!!

NTD exults, “YES!!! I told you he would do it!!”

Edwin goes down hard but the King isn’t much better, the DDT taking the last of his energy out of him. The men lay head to head on the mat, both gulping in huge mouthfuls of air. The ref stands over both of them, wishing he could use his count so that he would have something to do…

Curry clarifies, “Just reminding you folks at home there are no DQs, no count-outs, no rope breaks, no nothing in this match!! The only way to win is make your opponent say the magic words…”

“Please?”

“No.”

“I love you?”

“No, but thank you.

“Oh… I quit?”

Curry rejoices, “Yes!!! Front office you heard it hear first!! NTD is quitting!!!”

NTD sulks, glaring red hot death at his announce partner. “I hate you.”

The two combatants in the ring are still hurting, although Edwin has just barely made it to his feet as the King is again on his knees… Edwin moves forward to attempt to seize back the initiative but instead eats a headbutt to the crotch!!! The entire crowd grimaces in sympathy as Edwin sinks to his knees, his mouth forming the familiar O of masculine pain…

NTD chortles, “No DQ, I love you!”

The Suicide King slides out of the ring, leaving Edwin alone with his testicles. Reaching in under the ropes however, the Gambling Man grabs one of Edwin’s legs, pulling it out from under his kneeling form and dropping him back first on to the mat! Using that leg to drag MacPhisto closer, the King positions himself over the steel steps and grabs the other leg, using both to ram Edwin crotch first into the ring post! The ref winces, Edwin squeaks, and the faint-hearted in the crowd pass out as Edwin is again racked with far too much exuberance by the Suicide King, ramming his British testes against unyielding American steel! The Suicide King stands tall on the ring steps, actually doubling over at times from the force of his laughter at Edwin’s predicament!!

“The man is sick. Just sick,” Curry spits out.

“The man is a superior mat tactician!” NTD clarifies.

The King looks on as Edwin cradles his friends with both hands… smirking, the King raises one hand into the air and circles it round, in a fashion very similar to “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens… before stepping over one of Edwin’s legs and crossing it over Edwin’s own, THEN FALLING BACKWARDS ACROSS THE STEEL STEPS AND LOCKING IN THE FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK AROUND THE RING POST!!!! Edwin screams out loud as the searing pain rips through his lower body on top of the punishment to his fellows… his hands frantically reach down to try and free himself, but the leg lock is just out of his reach! The crowd cries out in panic at the plight of their hero as the Suicide King continually lifts and drops his own body on the ring steps to punctuate Edwin’s suffering with flashes of heightened pain!

“Oh my God!!!” Curry exclaims. “This is a classic maneuver with absolutely no escape! The ropes won’t break it and the post prevents Edwin from turning it over! The only thing that could stop this torment would be the King’s sense of mercy!”

“Not a smart bet there.”

Edwin’s hands claw at the mat, the earlier testicular assault all but forgotten. King screams out complete gibberish from outside the ring in his zeal, but Edwin can safely ignore it through his haze of pain… Edwin’s mouth opens up wide and the ref’s microphone picks up the sound of his plight…

“I… I… I… I… I…”

NTD exclaims, “He’s gonna quit!!! I knew it!”

“WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Muh-muh-muh my Sharona! Muh-muh-muh my Sharona! My my my my my WHOO!!!!!!!!!!!”

Curry’s mouth gapes wide open. “You have got to be kidding me.”

The crowd explodes as the Suicide King looks on in dismay, as Edwin begins to belt out The Knack’s greatest hit to overcome the pain… the King begins to yell incoherently once again, this time demanding that the ref shut Edwin up! The ref smirks and shrugs his shoulders, prompting the King to let out a scream of rage… AND RELEASE THE FIGURE FOUR!

“WHAT?” Curry demands to know. “Is he ignorant or just stupid? He let go of a surefire winning hold to stop Edwin from singing?”

That does indeed seem to be the case as the Suicide King slides under the ropes and begins to stomp the holy bejeezus out of Edwin’s head, ending the songs once and for all!!! Clearly overcome with anger, the King grabs Edwin under the arms and throws him bodily outside the ring, his carcass rolling to a halt by the Spanish Announce table!

“Oh this isn’t good,” Curry says.

King casually hops over the ring ropes, landing directly in front of the fallen Edwin. The Gambling Man lashes out with an angry stomp to Edwin’s side, then another, and another! Edwin is sandwiched between the devil and the table with its helpless Mexican occupants as the Suicide King pounds away, relentless as the tide! The King stomps away again and again, before pausing with a familiar sadistic look in his eyes… and hopping back up on the ring apron, then climbing the turnbuckles… looking out to the crowd, he flashes a mocking double “I Love You” in sign language before leaping forth in the Superfly Splash… ONLY TO MEET EDWIN’S HASTILY RAISED BOOT!!! The Suicide King crashes gracelessly to the hard floor, his jaw following moments later as it catches up from its trip to Edwin’s boot.

“Listen to the crowd!! They’re going nuts now that Edwin has come back to life!” Curry screams.

The crowd is indeed popping like balloons in a hail storm, but Edwin hasn’t quite come back to life yet! The King rolls around the floor like a recently caught fish, both arms clutching his ribs as he tries to rise, fails, and tries again… Edwin uses the table for physical and spiritual support, just barely managing to regain his vertical base! Both men finally manage to stand again, Edwin still woozy and the King’s sides still tender… the two men approach each other weakly… the Suicide King throws the first blow in the form of a hast sidekick easily caught by Edwin! As Edwin’s hands close on the foot his eyes seem to light up and he looks around the arena, soaking in the applause of his fans with a huge smile! The King knows what that means… and begins to wave his hands frantically, before clasping both to his chest with a contrite expression!!

Curry laughs out loud, “He’s begging!! He’s begging Edwin not to hurt him!!! Some King, NTD!”

NTD petulantly responds, “All part of his master plan!! The game isn’t over til one man folds!”

The King continues to hop in place, insincere apology all over his face. Edwin considers, considers… ducks an enzugiri, considers as the King attempts to land on one foot (and manages to his credit)… considers, ducks a jumping outside crescent kick from the King, considers further as the King precariously regains his balance… before finally spinning the King in place with a dragon screw leg whip and slamming him side first into the Mexican announce table!!! The table shakes from the impact as the Gambling Man rams into it hard, his face telling a story of pain… feeling the momentum surge, Edwin quickly slaps on a side headlock before spinning in place and grabbing the King around the throat…

“Here it comes!! Mac Daddy Driver!!!!” Curry yells.

AND ABSOLUTELY DESTROYING THE SUICIDE KING, DRIVING HIM DOWN TO THE OUTSIDE FLOOR WITH A QUICK AND DIRTY URANAGE!! The King lays limply on the mat, completely decimated by the face’s assault as Edwin stands over him, uncharacteristic anger clouding his face… he appears to take a moment to ponder as he again looks around the surrounding crowd, his audience, his PEOPLE… and his face lights up again. Dragging the sack of wet clothes formerly known as the Suicide King vertical, Edwin takes him over to the Spanish announce table…

NTD chuckles, “Sucks to be them!”

Edwin quickly clears the top of its protective covering and monitors before throwing the King on top of it. Following his prey up, Edwin stands at one side, carefully feeling the weight and making sure the table doesn’t break too soon… raising the King up, Edwin hooks both arms and steps behind him as the Spanish announcers scramble for safety…

“No!!!!! An Encore Cross on the table? That will kill the Suicide King!!!” NTD objects.

“Good,” Curry responds.

Edwin has the King locked in backslide position as he raises up, up….

AND SLAMS THE BACK OF THE KING’S HEAD INTO THE TABLE!!!

“HOLY ^%#^&%#&^#^%#!!!!!!! THE TABLE DIDN’T BREAK!!!!!! THE TABLE DIDN’T BREAK!!!!!!” Curry screams out loud. “The King is dead!!!!!”

It looks like it as the Suicide King lies limply on the table, one leg hanging entirely off! The crowd is on fire, finally seeing the justice that the Gambling Man has so long avoided come to fruition as Edwin stands over him like some vengeful game show host… clearly not done yet, Edwin turns the King over so he is laying on his stomach and reaches down to grab both arms before again placing one foot on the center of his back, and again locking in the First Circle!!!!

“it’s all over but the credits!” Curry exclaims. “No way the King gets out of this one! Divine intervention would be needed and I have a feeling the King isn’t on God’s good side right now!!”

Edwin rears back, trying to dislocate both of the King’s arms as he puts his full weight on the Heartbreaker’s back. The King is summoned back to consciousness by Edwin’s excruciating hold, and his screams are the only music that anyone is hearing right now. The hold is locked in ten, twenty, thirty seconds before the ref’s mic picks up the King’s statement…

“AHGIUH! OHGAWDUAHGIUH!!!!!!!! RINHDUHBEH!! PLEH!!!!! AHGIUH!!!!!!!”

The referee looks confusedly around, obviously having no idea what the King is saying.

Curry swears out loud. “He’s giving up!! Damn him and that shady dentist!!!!’

The King continues to swear as Edwin maintains the hold for another ten seconds… twenty… thirty… the King is screaming, “AHGIUH!” the whole while… when suddenly a loud creaking sound is heard from the table! Edwin only has a moment to look on in shock AS THE TABLE COLLAPSES OUT FROM UNDER HIM!!! Both men fall to the ground amidst the wreckage, mercifully causing Edwin to release the hold…

“Are they ok?” Curry asks nervously. The crowd is exploding all around at the carnage, their bloodlust being fully aroused now as the instant replay shows to the PPV audience… the replay shows clearly that the King got off lucky in his landing as the table’s surface cushioned his fall, whereas Edwin was jolted backwards, causing his head to strike the corner of a monitor he had thrown aside! Curry hisses at the impact… The ref frantically checks both men to see if they’re ok. Since this is the IGNWF and they are both still breathing, he decides that the match should continue!

“Edwin has got to be unconscious! The King is probably dead! Stop the match you idiotic zebra!” Curry swears.

NTD desperately cries out, “C’mon King!!! This is your chance!!”

Both men are still motionless however, and continue to be so for nearly thirty seconds… when one of the King’s arms spasmodically twitches, accompanied by a huge volume of heat from the crowd! His other arm twitches, followed by a leg… and the King rolls over as he returns to the land of consciousness!!!!!

“No no no!!!” Curry yells out.

The King eyes glazedly look over the scene of carnage he was just a part of and then widen with sudden fear as Edwin sits upright, his normal grin replaced with something far more vicious and entertaining!!!!

“Edwin lives!!! The King is in for it now!!!” Curry marks out along with the sold out Fleet Center!!!

The King scrambles backwards, full of newfound nervous energy brought on by his fear of death! Edwin stands bolt upright, slightly bleeding from the head but still very, very much in possession of himself. The King kicks his way as far as he can go, putting his back to the ring apron as Edwin approaches like a jolly Death, smiling a skull’s smile down at the Suicide King, who is slowly becoming aware that karma is a bitch. Edwin stands over him before reaching one long-fingered hand down for a handful of blonde hair…

AND GETTING NAILED IN THE FACE WITH THE ACE OF CLUBS!!! Edwin sinks to the mat, folding up like an accordion as the King continues to slam away at his head and neck with the baseball bat, attempting to smash Edwin’s cranium in!!

“He had the Ace of Clubs hidden under the ring!!! Damn him!” Curry angrily yells.

“YEAH!!! Score one for the bad guys!!” NTD rejoices.

The ref attempts to stop the King from his excessive barbarism, but the Gambling Man merely shoves him aside and changing his target from the back of Edwin’s head to the back of his neck! Finally tiring of this challengeless sport, the King lifts Edwin up by the neck to trash talk… the ref’s mic picks up “Yuhgahnuhinhewhin. Nuhin!!!!”

So said in his own unique style, the King wraps Edwin up in a half nelson and hooks the leg, sweeping him facefirst onto the bat!!!!!

“JOKERS WILD!! JOKERS WILD!!!” NTD giddily shouts. “And that can mean only one thing for this match!”

Indeed, the King takes Edwin’s left arm into a leg scissors as he maintains the half nelson… he reaches his left arm across to grab the bat and place it against Edwin’s upper neck (ensuring no accidental choke out) and locking in the bat-assisted leg scissor kataha-jime!!!!! Edwin immediately springs back to life as the hold is locked in and his cries of anguish only prompt more and more pressure from the Suicide King!!!

“The Suicide Squeeze!! This match is as wrapped up as Edwin’s neck!” NTD gleefully yells out.

Edwin thrashes about, trying anything, ANYTHING to free himself of the King’s excruciating grip to no avail! Ten seconds becomes twenty… twenty becomes thirty… thirty becomes a minute and still Edwin thrashes trying to throw the King off by body convulsion to no avail! The crowd is exploding, trying to give Edwin the strength he needs to carry on… the ref is in his face like a persistent mosquito buzzing around! Finally Edwin convulses mightily one last time, trying to buck the King off of him…

And failing. A grim cast comes over his increasingly pain-addled his face as he realizes there is only one way out.

“I QUIT!!! I QUIT!!!”

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!

The crowd erupts into boos as the King simultaneously erupts into laughter, releasing the hold on the fallen Edwin… raising himself up the King rests one hand on his bat, using it like a walking stick as he grabs a microphone from the announce table.

“I thought he couldn’t talk?” Curry asks.

Quickly moving over to the ring apron once again, the King reaches down and grabs a small black box. With a loud click the sound of dead air comes over the microphone, followed by the King’s voice… “Edwin… God but I hate you. I thought about this match long and hard, and I thought about what I hated the most about you. I decided it wasn’t enough to show you who had the talent, who had the brains, and who had the looks… I had to take something from you in addition to your pride. And I’m going to take it right now.”

“Your voice.”

“WHAT? “ Curry screams out, as the fans protest! Casually moving over to the barely conscious carcass of the Mac Daddy the King turn him over on to his back. Carefully measuring him up the King raises the Ace of Clubs high above his head…AND BRINGS IT DOWN FULL FORCE ON EDWIN’S THROAT!!!! AGAIN AND AGAIN HE BRINGS IT DOWN LIKE THUNDER FROM ON HIGH, PAUSING ONLY LONG ENOUGH TO KNOCK OUT THE REF WITH A BACK-HANDED STRIKE FROM THE BAT!!! OVER AND OVER THE KING BRINGS IT DOWN ON THE BLISSFULLY UNCONSCIOUS EDWIN, AND EACH TIME THE KING’S LAUGHING IS THE ONLY THING THAT RISES ABOVE THE CARNAGE!!!

“STOP HIM!!!” Curry yells!! ‘Somebody do something for the love of God!!!”

Like a dam bursting the entry way is suddenly filled with a mixture of Anarchists and Carnies, all eager to stop the punishment of Edwin! The King smirks and whirls the bat over his head like some crazed barbarian, taking only long enough to give Chris Raynor a good parting shot before throwing the bat at the crowd of do-gooders and taking off through he audience with several of the top faces in hot pursuit!

“My God…” Curry wearily says, the life drained out of him. “What the hell is this fed coming to?”

“The wheat is rising from the chaff!” NTD says, although even he sounds less enthusiastic.

Nearly whispering, Curry says, “Shut up.”

The image of Edwin being carried by various superstars up the entrance ramp, both hands holding his throat is the last thing we see as we cut to the video package for the next fight…

August 26, 2004

Fade back from commercial into the jam-packed Ford Center as the Sooners make a wave of sound as the various signs (‘MICHAEL KEATON IS WORLD CHAMP? , “TOXXIC CEILING’, ‘THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES AECEAS’) are shown all over as we cut to our gruesome twosome.

“Welcome back to S…W…F STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM~!” screams the earnest superhero of the SWF. “Beside me as always in Bobby Riley, and I am the Defender of Justice…CYCCCCCCCCCCCCCLLLLLLONE COMET~!”

“Once again, you’ll be paying for my hearing aid,” mutters Riley. “We’ve still got a packed show ahead of us, including Toxxic making the rookie Justin Bowers his bitch, but next a match I really wish I could take a nap for.”

“You may not be, but the fans are looking forward to two warriors of truth.”

“Warriors of truth my non-vir -”

Funyon cuts off Riley before the FCC is on us again, and begins the intros. “The following match is scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit! It is for the USJL CHAMPIONSHIP!”

Pop for a title match as the house lights darken, “Introducing first, the challenger…”

Cue the creepy beginnng to 'Back on Earth' by OZZY~ as David walks out to the ring, focused on the ring as the crowd cheers and the small bit of pyro goes of behind him. Cross enters the ring, absent mindely slapping hands.

“…standing at a weight of 277 POUNDS, from Oil City, Pennsylvania…”THE FAAAAAAAAAALEN ANGEL” DAAAAAAAAAVID CROSS!

Cross takes off his leather and cross, and sets them aside, and goes to the second rope, raising his fist to the crowd as it cheers.

“And his opponent…”

Funyon pauses a moment as he is drowned out as the arena lights suddenly change from darkness into a maelstrom of dark blue lights, some remaining fully on while others strobe, bathing the arena in a deep blue gloom. Dimmu Borgir’s “Mourning Palace” hits the speakers as a huge cloud of smoke belches from the entrance way covering the stage in its misty coils as three separate light blue spotlights snap onto the figure emerging from the mist the sight of this dim shape already drawing cheers from the fans.

Vlad pauses on the stage for a moment, masked head turning slowly from left to right as he takes in the masses that surround him before he begins to stride calmly down the aisle as Funyon raises his microphone once more.

“…from Svalbard, Norway, weighing in at 245lbs…the REIGNING USJL CHAMPION…“THE CORRRRRRONA” VLADIMIR EVERHEART!”

When he finally reaches ringside Vlad leaps up onto the apron, grabbing the top rope and vaulting over it and into the ring. The masked superstar moves to stand in the centre of the ring the rest of the arena lights going to black as the three spotlights illuminate him in the blackness. Vlad drops down to one knee in that circle of light bowing deeply, his arms spread to either side of his body as the action milks another wave of cheers from the fans.

“Both men popular with the crowd, Robert.” says Comet as the two men circle each other.

“Does it really matter?” replies Riley. “Whoever wins will drop the title to a deserving man soon enough.”

“You have a twisted definition of deserving, Robert.”

Everheart tries to gain the quick advantage with a palm strike, but Cross ducks and pulls the champion waistlock and takes him down to the mat! Quickly locking on a hammerlock, the larger man increases his leverage by dropping a knee into the masked mans (not The Masked Man however) lower back and wrenches back on the hammerlock.

“Citizen Cross uses his amateur skill to get the early advantage in the match,” says Comet as Everheart reaches for the ropes, a little too far away.

“He wrestled in high school,” replies Riley. “It’s not as if he’s world class like Tom.”

Everheart after another moment or two, does get to the ropes and Cross breaks cleanly and steps back. Vladimir gets up and stuns Cross by surprising him with a quick elbow to the gut as he stands up! The current USJL champ quickly follows it up with a quick palm strike which sends Cross backwards a bit. Vladimir then backs up into the ropes and drops Cross to the matt with a RUNNING PALM STRIKE as the fans explode!

“Just like that, Citizen Everheart has made a comeback and is right in this match,” says Comet as Everheart brings Cross to his feet.

“With two guys who know how to take punishment, it’s going to be whoever hits a series of big moves first will get the victory,” says Riley. “Then, they’ll hopefully lose it to someone like Max King quickly.”

“Can you not be horribly biased for one match,” says Comet with a bit of bite behind his voice.

“Nah, it’s in my contract I don’t have to be objective at all.”

As Cross is brought to his feet, The Corona nails him with several elbows to the forehead, then Valadimir backs up and takes the Fallen Angel down with a deadly Shining Wizard! Not even bothering for a pin yet, the man from Norway picks Cross up into a waistlock and sends him to the mat crashing with a RELEASE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! The crowd explodes as Everheart plays to the crowd, as David tries to gets to his feet slowly. Seeing that, Vladimir kicks Cross in the ribs as he is on all fours and picks him up. Everheart then puts on a full nelson and picks him off the mat with a neck wrecking….

“…DRAAAAAAAAAGON SUPLEX!” exclaims Comet as the fans explode along with Cyclone. Hebner drops for the pin…

…ONE…

…TWO….

…TH - SHOULDER UP!

“Citizen Cross is not out of this match yet, Robert by any means,” says Comet as The Corona grabs Cross by the head and brings him to his feet.

“But, if he takes another suplex like that, he’ll likely be missing a few vertebrae,” deadpans Riley. “Can’t we get to Toxxic tearing Bowers a new one yet?”

“In most cases, one waits until one match is over before starting another one,” states Cyclone calmly.

Everheart fires a quick kick to the breadbasket of his challenger, gets him into position, but David is able to hold his ground and block The Corona’s attempt at a move! So, Everheart does the sensible thing. He let’s go of the position and fires a quick knee to the jaw of Cross! Suiably stunned, Vladimir brings Cross up and into a nasty, nasty PILEDRIVER! But, the USJL champ isn’t done yet. He pulls up Cross again and fires a few elbows at Cross, then locks him in and brings him over into a pinning position with a…

“…NORTHERN LIGHTS! NORTHERN LIGHTS! CITIZEN EVERHEART JUST HIT THE NORTHERN LIGHTS ON CROSS!” screams Comet as Hebner goes to count again…

…ONE…

…TWO…

…THR - HEBNER STOPS HIS COUNT!

“Citizen Cross got his foot on the rope,” exclaims Cross as Everheart looks at Hebner for a moment before turning back to his opponent.

“Bah, can’t this be over already?” asks Riley while the crowd cheers both men on.

Vladimir pulls The Fallen Angel up, and locks the challenger to his USJL title in a waistlock. Again, The Corona tries to bring Cross up and over, but David holds his ground. Vladimir tries again, but Cross responds with an elbow to the head! Everheart tries one more time, but Cross nails him with another elbow and gets out of the hold and locks on a waistlock of his own! As the crowd cheers, Cross sends the USJL champ down to the mat with a bug RELEASE GERMAN! Cross then crouches as Everheart uses the ropes to get up in the corner, and as Vladimir gets to a vertical base….

“…YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZUKA~!” screams Comet as Cross sends his opponent down to the mat with a nasty marital arts move. “Citizen Everheart is in dreamland I would think Robert.”

“Yeah, I got to think he’s missing a few teeth. Probably stuck to his mask,” replies Riley.

“Bobb-o, thank you so much for that visual,” deadpans Comet as Vladimir is brought up from the mat by The Fallen Angel.

As the fans cheer like mad, Cross brings Everheart in a waistlock again, locks the arms and bridges Everheart into a STRAIGHTJACKET SUPLEX as Hebner counts…

…ONE…

…TWO…

…TH - NO!

“Citizen Cross couldn’t keep the bridge locked in and it just cost him a win,” says Comet.

“Well, he has had his ass kicked basically all match so I’m not surprised,” replies Riley. “I mean, the guy is tough, but not a superhero.”

“Only a few can be,” Comet replies seriously.

“And you call me delusional.”

Cross pulls The Corona up and sends him to the ropes with an Irish Whip to the near ropes, then brings him down to mat with a nasty LARIATO~! Not even waiting for a moment, The Fallen Angel brings Corona to his feet and kicks him in the gut, but this time, Everheart fights back blocking the attempt by Cross to finish him off! Then, as the crowd explodes, Vladimir backdrops Cross right to the mat! Cross gets up quickly, but the USJL rushes him with a palm thrust. One small problem. Cross ducks, and in one fluid motion grabs Everheart by the throat and sends him to the mat with a huge, quick…

“…CHOOOOOKE SLAM BY CROSS~!” yells Comet as Hebner drops down again, only for Cross to not go for the pin.

“What the hell is the big oaf doing, killing more time?” asks Riley as the fans cheer.

“Maybe Citizen Cross doesn’t think the manuever was strong enough to win the match,” replies Comet. “It could be part of his strategy.”

“I’d be surprised if he could spell strategy,” scoffs Riley.

“It’s Cross in the ring, not the President.” says Comet sarcastically.

Bringing The Corona to his feet, Cross pantomimes like he is about to send Everheart into the ropes, but instead delivers a huge SHORT ARM LARIATO~ to the USJL champ! Then, he raises his fist and makes a throat-slitting gesture as the fans go mad. He picks up Vladimir, puts him position, picks him up high…

“Citizen Everheart is going to be then next victim of the…”

…and drives him back to the earth to the crowd exploding as Hebner counts…

“…BLACK MASS~!”

…ONE…

…TWO…

…THREE!

DING! DING! DING!

As Cross rolls of his opponent and goes to his knees, The Corona simply stares at the lights as Funyon makes it official…

“The winner of the match and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW USJL CHAMPION, “THE FALLEN ANGEL” DAAAAAAAAAAVID CROSS!”

“Back on Earth” hits as Cross is handed the USJL title. The new champion then goes to the far ropes and salutes the crowd again as Everheart gets to his feet, and shares a simple nod with Cross as he gets off the ropes. The Corona then walks to the back as Cross continues to go to every corner with his new belt.

“Well, I guess we can let the cat out of the bag, Robert.” says Comet. “This was the last match that Citizen Everheart was contracted for the SWF. We wish him the best in his future endeavors and thank him for all the memories he and others have given us.”

“We’ll be right back after these messages from Pepsi Max,” says Riley as we cut to commercial on Cross holding his belt high to the cheering crowd.

August 26, 2004

“We’re back on Lockdown, and what an evening we’ve had so far!” Cyclone Comet exclaims as the lights come back up in the Ford Center. “Agent Dangerous has been out to grace us with his presence, but the former champion couldn’t even let Johnny have his moment of triumph. Toxxic had to come out and get in on the act, and now the so-called Straight-Edge Sensation is in action against Justin Bowers!”

“Comet, I’d look away now,” Riley advises his commentary partner. “This isn’t going to be pretty.”

‘NOW TESTIFY!’

*BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!*

The Oklahoma Crowd rises in response as ‘Just Communication’ from Gundam Wing fires up over the arena PA and Justin Bowers walks out from the backstage area, waving at the fans as he does so! He is accompanied by the red-hatted, clipboard-bearing figure of ‘Justice’ William Hearford who gives a brief smile as he sees the enthusiasm of the fans for his young charge.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall,” Funyon booms. “On his way to the ring, from Warren, Michigan; accompanied by William Hearford; he weighs in tonight at 222lbs; he is ‘The Human Lightning Bolt’... JUST-IIIIIIIIIIIIN... BOW-EEEEEERRRRRRRRRSSSSSS!!”

Justin slaps hands with the fans at ringside before climbing into the ring, shaking hands with Funyon and starting a few stretches. The slightly less nimble Judge joins him a few seconds later and starts talking urgently to the young man, giving him some tips for the upcoming match.

“Citizen Bowers showed his courageous nature on Storm when he confronted Toxxic over the shameless assault Revolution Zero made on his mentor, William Hearford,” Comet notes as Justice tries to get Bowers to listen to him. “It takes some guts to challenge the then-World Champion for only your third match!”

“He’s got more guts than brains, Comet,” Riley asserts, “more guts than brains.”

Abruptly the Smarktron whites out, and the opening chord of ‘Rookie’ by Boy Sets Fire rings out over the Ford Center. The Smarktron darkens to black, and as it does a familiar slogan flashes up in jagged white lettering:

‘PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG’

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The Smarktron changes to a view of a spiky-haired head that raises and stares out at the crowd with piercing grey eyes before Toxxic’s face creases up in his trademark lopsided grin and clips of his matches start to flash up. The footage changes to a Toxxic Shock Syndrome that takes Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the four blast of red pyro that climb the entrance ramp and the final, stage-wide eruption-

*BAM-BAM-BAM-bap-BOOOM!*

-that signifies the arrival of the SWF’s premier straight-edger as the main riff thunders out! Toxxic strides out through the smoke, grim-faced and with Jet at his side, and the straight-edger appears to be focused solely on the opponent who waits for him in the ring.

‘TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

“And his opponent!” Funyon bellows over the chants in the Ford Center. “Accompanied to the ring by Jet; from Nottingham, England; he weighs in at 218lbs, and is the leader of Revolution Zero; the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’... TOXXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIC!!”

Toxxic rolls under the ropes and comes up to his feet in one smooth motion, then peels his shirt off and throws it out to Jet before throwing his arms wide as the verse comes up, causing four more fountains of pyro to erupt from the ringposts!

*bap-bap*

*BOOOM!*

‘I never thought this could be me

I guess you never do until it’s happening to you

Like all the fun turns into shame

And all the ‘could-have-beens’ rearrange...’

*DING-DING-DING!*

Referee Sexton Hardcastle calls for the bell, and the rookie and the... not-quite-so rookie circle each other warily. Despite being in the ring with what would be considered a much lower calibre of competitor, Toxxic doesn’t mock his opponent like he did with Johnny Dangerous; instead the Straight-Edge Sensation simply fixes Bowers with a stare whilst cracking his neck from side-to-side to loosen up. For his part, Justin glares back at the straight-edger with undisguised hatred... then suddenly surges forwards!

“YEEEAAAAAAA-oohhhh...”

The crowd erupts into life, but quickly subside as Toxxic grabs the arm of his onrushing opponent and spins to take Bowers over with a crisp armdrag! Bowers hits the mat and rolls right up again, but instead of pausing to take his bearings he leaps to the second rope and flies straight back at his opponent, feet connecting with Toxxic’s jaw as he nails the springboard dropkick!

“JUS-TIN!”

Toxxic starts to rise back to his feet, shaking his head to clear it, but Bowers pounces on his more experienced opponent without a pause. A couple of stinging right hands snap the Straight-Edge Sensation’s head back, then Justin whips Toxxic across the ring. The Brit rebounds off the cables and Justin leaps into the air-

*SMACK!*

-to deliver a stunning Dropsault that takes Toxxic off his feet!

“JUST-IN!”

“I think this is the first time Toxxic has come up against someone quicker than him,” Comet notes in delight, “and he’s been taken totally off-guard!”

“It won’t last,” Riley predicts confidently. “It never does...”

Bowers scrambles for the cover on his opponent...

ONE!

TW-

...but Toxxic kicks out before two! Form ringside, Heardford yells at his young apprentice to quit going for the cover so early and to ‘stay on him!’, advice which Bowers seems to take to heart by hauling Toxxic back up to his feet and then delivering a snap suplex to take the arrogant Brit back down to the canvas. However, despite his trainer’s urgings the Human Lightning Bolt spends a couple of seconds soaking in the cheers of the fans before running to the far ropes and rebounding off, building up momentum and completing a forward roll on the canvas before leaping into the air and somersaulting forwards in the Rolling Thunder-

*WHAM!*

-but Toxxic raises his knees, and the rookie falls off him clutching his back as Hearford groans in dismay!

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

The Oklahoma fans are giving voice at full volume, but Toxxic is undeterred and clambers back to his feet before grabbing Justin Bowers where he is sitting on the canvas and holding his spine. The Straight-Edge Sensation raises his opponent up before slamming a fist into his face, but although he staggers back Justin responds in like kind! Figuring that he needs to step up his offence a bit, Toxxic lashes up with his forearm and punishes Bowers’ jaw with a European uppercut.

*WHAM!*

This time Justin wobbles and a brief dazed expression crosses his face, allowing Toxxic to strike again.

*WHAM!*

And again.

*WHAM!*

Bowers is against the ropes now, and Toxxic grabs his wrist to whip his opponent across the ring. Something in Justin’s mind fires off a few neurones and the Human Lightning Bolt reverses the momentum, then ducks his head for a back bodydrop-

*CRUNCH-WHAM!*

-but Toxxic kills his own momentum off the cables and hits Justin with the facecrusher/DDT combo known as the Sobering Thought! No sooner has the rookie’s head been driven into the canvas however than Toxxic hoists him up again and hits a standing dropkick that sends Bowers staggering back into the turnbuckles. The leader of Revolution Zero picks himself up and launches himself at the dazed Bowers, hitting him with a leg lariat as Justin tries to recuperate in the corner, and manages to catch himself in order to land on the apron! Justin staggers forward slightly on the ricochet from the impact and Toxxic quickly climbs back over the ropes into a sitting position on the top buckle, grabs Bowers in a rear headlock and swings out with the Tornado Reverse DDT!

*WHAM!*

“Final Shine!” Comet calls in alarm. “I don’t know if that will be the final blow for Justin Bowers, but the rookie can’t be in good shape now!”

Indeed, Justin rolls over on the mat clutching his head whiles Hearford pounds the canvas and screams for his protege to get up. Meanwhile, having grounded his opponent Toxxic contents himself with sitting astride the luckless Bowers’ chest and starting to rain punches down on the Human Lightning Bolt while Hardcastle makes his count.

‘ONE!’

‘TWO!’

‘THREE!’

‘FOUR!’

‘FI-’

Toxxic ceases his assault before the disqualification mark and rises off the battered Bowers’ body while Hardcastle reprimands him for the repeated use of the closed fist. The Straight-Edge Sensation isn’t interested in the referee’s opinions however, and he brushes past the official to haul Justin up off the mat and place him in another reverse headlock.

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

Clinically, the Straight-Edge Sensation drops to one knee and drives the other into the back of Justin’s neck, then pops back up... and drops back down into an inverted DDT! At ringside, Hearford thumps the mat in frustration as Toxxic picks himself up and looks out at the crowd, seemingly enjoying the verbal abuse.

“Toxxic changed up the Detoxx combo there,” Comet notes with a certain amount of disdainful respect, “perhaps realising that Justin would know a good counter to the Diamond Cutter half of it.”

“He came into this match prepared,” Riley states. “Toxxic got caught once by Johnny Dangerous - there was no way he was going to have his guard down against Justin Timberlake!”

“Surely you aren’t comparing the rookie Justin Bowers with the experience of our World Champion Johnny Dangerous!” Comet asks, mortified.

“Sure I am. Johnny should have lost, Justin will lose. It’s not rocket science.”

With his opponent down on the mat, Toxxic heads for the turnbuckle (taking the time to flip a v-sign at Hearford as he goes). The straight-edger vaults lightly to the top, then comes flying back with a fistdrop that connects dead centre with Bowers’ forehead and causes the rookie to spasm around in pain again, much to his trainer’s dismay.

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

Toxxic blows on his knuckles - Bowers’ head was quite hard, after all - then steps out to the ring apron and raises three black-nailed fingers over his head. The crowd’s booing raises a notch, but Toxxic ignores it and jumps to the top rope...

...to the top turnbuckle...

...and corkscrews back to deliver the Hangover!

*WHAM!!*

Toxxic scrambles on top of his opponent for the pin attempt, hooking the far leg as he does so...

ONE!

TWO!!

TH-

...but Justin kicks out! Hearford breathes again at ringside as Jet pounds the canvas in her turn and demands to know why Hardcastle didn’t count the three, but her boyfriend doesn’t waste time on arguing and simply picks Justin up again.

“Citizens, at the moment Toxxic is in complete control of this match,” Comet notes in a slightly subdued tone. “William Hearford warned his protege against challenging the Straight-Edge Sensation to a match like this, but in the confidence of youth Citizen Bowers went ahead and did it anyway. Now he may be reaping what he sowed, as Toxxic appears to be determined to take his opponent apart in record time.”

“Good thing I brought my stopwatch, hey?” Riley says, nudging his broadcast partner gleefully.

Without even bothering to taunt the crowd, Toxxic places Justin in a front facelock and reaches down to hook the rookie’s right leg from the inside. Hearford begins hammering on the apron and yelling at the top of his lungs, but Toxxic lifts the rookie high into the air for the Caffeine Bomb...

...but Bowers wriggles at the apex of the move and drops down behind the Straight-Edge Sensation, hooking him for a reverse DDT of his own that drives Toxxic’s head into the mat!

*BANG!!*

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“JUST-IN!”

Jet’s face is a picture of horror as the match suddenly seems to swing away from her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Hearford raises his hands as if to thank some benign power, then starts thumping the canvas in a more rhythmic, structured way. The crowd swiftly catches on and the entire Ford Center begins to vibrate to a measured beat that is designed to encourage Justin Bowers to his feet. Sure enough, the Human Lightning Bolt begins to push himself up as the crowd noise grows louder... but Toxxic has been relatively untouched so far in this match, and the Straight-Edge Sensation is moving too.

“JUST-IN!” *thump-thump*

Bowers reaches his feet and looks around groggily. He catches sight of Hearford at ringside and sees his be-hatted mentor pointing desperately past his shoulder so he turns... and receives a right hand to the face from Toxxic! The blow knocks Justin back into the corner, and Toxxic wastes no time in Irish-whipping his opponent across the ring. Justin has other ideas however and reverses the momentum, only to see Toxxi vault up to the top rope and spring back at him with the Role Reversal-

*SMACK!*

-but Justin takes him out of the air with another Dropsault!

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“The Human Lightning Bolt strikes again, and the fans here in Oklahoma are loving every minute of it!” Cyclone Comet says in approval. “The question is; can Citizen Bowers capitalise on this shift in momentum?”

Toxxic is stunned this time, there is no doubt about it. Sensing that a change of fortune could be at hand, Justin hauls his opponent to his feet and tows him to the nearest turnbuckle, then ascends to the second buckle. With a quick hop he leaps onto Toxxic’s shoulders in a front-facing sitting position, ready to deliver the Lightning Strike reverse rana, and looks around for approval from the Ford Center. And he can’t work out in that one moment why the crowd noise suddenly drops, or why William Hearford covers his eyes as if he can’t bear to watch anymore.

Then he feels a pressure on the back of his neck, and realises that two black-nailed hand have snaked up to pull his head forwards and down, driving him skullfirst towards the mat as Toxxic sits out...

*BAM*

Sexton Hardcastle’s count is academic.

ONE!

TWO!!

THREE!!!

*DING-DING-DING!*

Toxxic releases the pinning cradle of the Dangerlust and gets back to his feet as a low buzz starts to rise again in the Ford Center. The Straight-Edge Sensation looks down at the crumpled body by his feet, then heaves a sigh and looks over at William Hearford. The look he gives the wrestler formerly known as ‘Justice’ isn’t exactly apologetic, and isn’t exactly accusatory. Either way, Hearford can’t meet the straight-edger’s stare, and turns away with tears visible in his eyes. Funyon doesn’t make his announcement. He doesn’t need to.

“Citizens, Toxxic has proved again what a dangerous, unstable individual he can be when provoked,” Comet says in a voice tight with emotion. “He accepted Justin Bowers’ challenge, knowing how inexperienced his opponent was, and then proceeded to do this-”

“-now hold on a second!” Riley interrupts. “Hearford brought Bowers in to take Toxxic out! He admitted it! You can’t blame the Hot Commodity for wanting to get rid of the threat early! Besides,” the colour commentator continues, warming to his argument, “it wasn’t Toxxic who got Justin up for the Dangerlust, Justin did it himself! Toxxic merely capitalised on it to end the match!”

In the ring, Justin Bowers isn’t moving. Sexton Hardcastle kneels down by the rookie and starts talking urgently to him, then waves at the back for help. Hearford seems torn between going to check on his charge and simply not wanting to know what has happened, and paces up and down like a caged animal.

Meanwhile, as the fans continue to chant, Toxxic simply rolls out of the ring and joins his girlfriend, then takes a spare chair and sits down on the opposite side of the ring to await the rest of Revolution Zero for their Tag Title match next. The Straight-Edge Sensation does not interfere with the commotion around his former opponent, and does not look either pleased or upset with the outcome.

He simply stares at William Hearford. And Justice doesn’t know which way to turn.

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

FADE OUT

Edited August 26, 2004 by Thoth

August 26, 2004

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall, and it is for the SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!"

The crowd goes nuts, eager for the next match to start as Funyon, illuminated mid-ring by a single spotlight, continues to speak...

"Introducing first... the challengers!"

Every light in the arena is cranked up to 'blindingly white', the crowd's booing already loud...

"WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION!"

... and getting louder as the crashing guitars of "Battle Ready" by Otep drop! Lightning hits the ramp, causing gold and red pyro to shoot up from the entrance way as Spike Jenkins, Toxxic, Jet, and Sean Davis (sans Hardcore title, which is resting in the locker room tonight) step onto the top of the entrance ramp! The fearless foursome walks down the ramp, the crowd catcalling the whole way as Jenkins and Davis slide into the ring, posing as Funyon makes the introduction.

"At a combined four-hundred and ninety-five pounds, being accompanied by Toxxic and Jet, representing Revolution Zero, "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins and the S - W - F HAAAAAAAAAAARDCORE CHAMPION, SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN DAAAAAAAAAY - VIS!"

"All four members of Revolution Zero are coming to the ring tonight," Cyclone Comet, color man extraordinaire, points out from the commentary table. "Obviously the odds are stacked against Hollywood Boulevard tonight, and we'll see if they have an equalizer!"

Toxxic and Jet hop onto the apron and call Davis and Jenkins over to the Revolution Zero corner. The foursome talk strategy, seemingly not noticing as all the lights go down once more. A single spotlight stays on Funyon, and the crowd begins buzzing...

"And now introducing... the CHAMPIONS..."

The echoing guitar riffs and smooth opening saxophone of "Rush Against the Grain" by Dave Gagne hit the speakers, the crowd's buzzing growing more intense as the frantic drumbeat starts, accompanied by...

*BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!*

Four blue pyros go off, and the crowd goes BUCK WILD~ as Mike Van Siclen, Todd Cortez and the Masked Man leap through the curtain! Mask hangs back as Cortez and Van Siclen step forward, the Tag belts draped over their respective shoulders! Van Siclen yells at the crowd, firing both them and himself up as Cortez raises his cross to his lips, kissing it and crossing his arms in front of his stomach!

"At a combined weight of four-hundred and sixty-seven pounds, being accompanied by the Masked Man, Mike Van Siclen and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez... HOOOLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEWOOOOOOD BOULEVARD!"

Cortez turns to Van Siclen and nods, and they slide under the bottom rope, entering at Revolution Zero's feet. Van Siclen stands up, holding his belt up in the face of Davis, while Cortez and Jenkins stare coldly at each other. Referee Nick Soapdish comes between the two teams to break up the tension, as well as take the belts away from the champions. Van Siclen and Cortez hand the belts over and head to their corner, and Revolution Zero does the same.

In the Boulevard corner, the Masked Man hops up onto the apron, trying to help with the Hollywood Boulevard strategy. The three men huddle up, all bouncing suggestions off of each other, while in the Revolution Zero corner Toxxic nods and hops off the apron, eager to watch his charges take out Hollywood Boulevard. Jet hops off the apron to accompany him, and the two settle in as Soapdish calls for the bell!

*DING DING DING!*

The Masked Man hops off the apron, nodding at Van Siclen and Cortez. Sean Davis comes out of the Rev-0 corner, and Cortez and Van Siclen nervously look at each other -- obviously, they'd expected Jenkins to come in. Uneasy, Cortez steps out of the corner, but Van Siclen pushes past him, saying that he's got this one!

“Todd Cortez is extremely familiar with the pairing of Davis and Jenkins, but it’s Mike Van Siclen who is out to prove himself. Remember, it was 42nd Street who have the victory over Spike and Sean, not Hollywood Boulevard.”

“Actually Comet, everyone in this match has something to prove. Hollywood Boulevard is out to prove that they truly are the SWF’s best tag team, and can live up to the hype. Davis and Jenkins want to prove that Revolution Zero can stay strong despite Toxxic losing the World Title to Johnny Dangerous.”

Van Siclen struts out of the Boulevard corner and up to Davis, shoving the big man backwards! The crowd 'oooh's at Van Siclen's brashness, and a slightly stunned Davis lunges at Van Siclen, wrapping his hand around his throat and talking trash… only to be met with a swift kick to the junk! Soapdish cries foul, but Van Siclen brushes him off, charging at Davis and driving him back with harsh forearm shots. With Davis stunned, Van Siclen reaches waaay back before coming at Davis with the KO blow!...

...but instead he finds a knee in his bread basket! Van Siclen doubles over, gasping for breath as Davis pounds on his back with forearm shots of his own, causing a sickening smack that echoes throughout the building. Sean stands Mike up and backs him into the ropes, whipping him to the far side. Davis catches him on the rebound, pressing him up above his head and mouthing off to the hard camera… but Mike reaches down, raking the eyes! Davis releases his grip, tending to the wound and allowing Van Siclen to slide behind him and roll him up! Soapdish dives to the mat, missing Mike's heaping handful of tights...

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

Spike pulls Van Siclen away from the pin! On the outside, Jet yells at Soapdish, berating him for the poor call, and Toxxic merely gives a stony nod, obviously none too pleased himself.

“Good for Spike!" Riley cheers. "Who says Revolution Zero doesn’t have a sense of decency?”

“Turnabout is fair play, Robert," Comet chides. Thoughtfully, he adds, "Also, check hell for snowballs, because I just defended Mike Van Siclen.”

Van Siclen gets up, but before he and Spike can come to blows, Soapdish breaks it up, ushering Spike back to his corner. Jenkins is still arguing about the tights pulling, however, and Van Siclen waves Cortez in behind Soapdish’s back. Todd enters the ring as Mike grabs Davis' arms, pulling them back to expose his midsection, but Cortez decides instead to GET HIGH~, leveling a stiff shot at Davis' throat! Van Siclen grabs a sputtering Davis by the head, pulling him down with an Edge-O-Matic as Cortez runs the ropes, charging towards Van Siclen, who has moved to a position in front of Davis’ body. Mike tucks his head, backdropping Cortez over his head, and Todd flips high into the air before coming down across Davis’ throat with a legdrop!

“High impact maneuver from Hollywood Boulevard connects," Comet calls, "and Sean Davis is in a bad way here in the early going!”

"Van Siclen didn't tag him in!" Riley fumes. "The blatant illegality of this is disgusting, Comet!"

Jet's roars that "He's not legal!" fall on deafened ears, as the crowd roars its approval of Hollywood Boulevard's high-risk offence! Cortez pries the larger Davis off of the mat, catching him under the chin with a European uppercut and following it up with several more, sending Davis stumbling back into the corner. Cortez maintains control, following after Davis and trying to pull him out of the corner, but Davis refuses to budge for the Urban Legend. Cortez tugs again, but this time he winds up catching a knee from Davis, who proceeds to grab Cortez by the back of the head and ram his face into the top turnbuckle!

Cortez stumbles back, dazed, and Davis capitalizes by tucking his head and driving his shoulder into the rib cage of Cortez with quick and violent grace! Todd clutches at his ribs, but grabs him and lifts him up, pressing the Urban Legend over his head before dropping him forward, ribs first, across his knee! Cortez folds in two, rolling on the mat in a fetal position, as Davis walks over to his corner and makes the tag to Jenkins.

The crowd boos (and the Rev-0 corner cheers) as Jenkins steps into the ring, and immediately begins stomping the Urban Legend while he’s down. Jenkins pulls Cortez up by the head, dragging him over to the ropes and putting him throat-first on the second rope, putting his knee in Cortez's back! Van Siclen protests, and rightfully so, as Soapdish issues Spike a five count to break.

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FIV --"

Jenkins breaks, jawing with Soapdish as he brings Cortez to his feet. Spike pushes him against the ropes, holding him in place with his left hand as he takes his right and brings it down across Todd’s chest…

*SMACK* "OOOOOOH!"

…and again!

*SMACK* "OOOOOOH!"

The two shots are enough to redden Cortez's sternum, and Jenkins follows up by whipping his foe to the far side. Spike tucks his head early, and Cortez sees this in time to avoid it, sliding through Spike's legs and coming up behind him. Todd hooks a rear waistlock and pushes Spike to the ropes, but Jenkins hooks the ropes, refusing to be rolled up! Cortez rolls backwards, coming up to his feet as Spike turns around. Cortez tries to catch Jenkins with a spin kick, but Spike ducks it, and catches Tod with a boot to the gut! Spike sets Todd up in a standing headscissors, pulling him up onto his shoulders…but the agile Cortez takes him over with a huracanrana!

“Cortez countered before Jenkins could figure out what to do next!”

The Urban Empire corner roars in approval as Spike quickly gets to his feet, pissed about losing control. Cortez comes right back at him, slicing through the air with his hands and connecting with several blisterting knife-edge chops, drawing agonized moans from Jenkins! Cortez forces Jenkins back to the Boulevard corner, continuing with the chops before making the tag to Van Siclen.

"Cortez wisely making the tag there," Comet says, "getting out of the match before the Revolution Zero tandem can regain control and work over his ribs again!"

Mike comes in and rushes the corner, leaping into the air and spinning around 360º before landing on top of Spike Jenkins with a brutal splash known as the Answer! The crowd boos this slightly, remembering who Van Siclen lifted the move from, but Van Siclen ignores them as he grabs Jenkins by the head, pulling him out of the corner. The crowd pops as Van Siclen grabs Jenkins' arm, whipping Holly into the ropes. Jenkins hits the ropes and comes back at Van Siclen, who charges forward with an arm extended, looking for the lariat...

...but Spike blatantly no-sells the Irish whip, coming to a complete stop near the ropes! Van Siclen keeps running, still intending to take Jenkins out with a lariat, and in an attempt to get out of harm's way he dives towards the Revolution Zero corner, making the tag to Sean Davis! Davis menacingly steps into the ring, and Jenkins steps back onto the apron, pointing and giggling at Van Siclen as the Spectacle braces himself for Davis' wrath.

"Van Siclen's attempts to work over Spike Jenkins fail," Comet says, "and now he's got to deal with the Perfect Storm!"

"You've got to wonder if the Masked Man could've worked over Spike Jenkins," Riley muses.

Davis and Van Siclen step towards each other, standing nose-to-nose. Van Siclen is only an inch shorter than the Perfect Storm, but Davis' frame is packed with thirty more pounds of pure power, baby, and he puts that power to good use, grabbing Van Siclen around the waist and lifting him up into the air! Van Siclen can't even struggle against the hold, Davis' grip is that strong, and the Perfect Storm forces Van Siclen back into the mat with a nasty spinebuster!

*WHUMPH!*

Van Siclen grabs his back in pain, rolling backwards and wincing as he reaches out for the ropes. Davis follows him, lumbering towards Mike and grabbing him by the leg. Van Siclen, feeling the grip, hops onto his free leg, sneaking a glance at Davis before leaping into the air, whipping his free leg around and looking to catch Davis with an enzuigiri...

*CRACK!*

... right to the back of the skull! The crowd cheers as Davis, caught off guard by the big move, lets go of Van Siclen and drops to a knee. Mike gets to his feet once more, running to the ropes in front of Davis. He bounces off and comes back, leaping into the air and...

*SMACK!*

... catching him in the face with a gnarly running dropkick! The crowd goes banana as Davis falls flat on his back and the Spectacle gets to his feet again, wiping the sweat out of his brow before looking to Todd Cortez and making the tag!

"Van Siclen using wise strategy here," Comet says. "The longer that he and Citizen Cortez stay in the ring with Sean Davis by themselves, the more likely it is that Davis will weather their barrage and come back hard. If Hollywood Boulevard continues to tag out to the fresh body, and continue to stick Davis with big moves, they can control the beast and wear him down for the biggest strike of all!"

"Don't you think they could've figured that out on their own, Comet?"

Cortez steps into the ring and charges at Davis, not wanting to waste a second of the big man's incapacitation. He pounces on Davis, straddling the big man and letting loose with forearms to his skull, continuing the work on his neck that Van Siclen started. Davis winces with every forearm, but he still manages to reach forward, putting both massive hands into Todd's stomach and sitting up, forcing Cortez's shoulders to the mat! Rev-0's corner roars as Soapdish counts...

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE... NO!" Cortez gets a shoulder up and rolls backwards, woozily getting to his feet. Davis is already on his feet, though, and he charges at Cortez, leveling him with a sick clothesline! Cortez hits the mat, wincing in pain as Davis glares down on him. Jet yells for Davis to "Work the ribs!", and Davis nods, lifting Cortez to his feet.

"The strategy of Revolution Zero is painfully clear," Riley says. "Break Cortez's ribs!"

After pulling Cortez to his feet, Davis pulls him OFF his feet, squeezing the Urban Legend with a bearhug! Cortez tries to wriggle free, but Davis' grip is vicelike. Sean powers forward, Todd still in his arms, and squashes him into the Revolution Zero turnbuckle! Davis tags in Spike, and Jenkins enters, the challengers working over Cortez and targeting the ribcage with kicks as the champion is trapped in enemy territory!

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

Davis ducks out to the apron, avoiding disqualification as Jenkins takes Cortez out of the corner, peppering his ribs with hard fists. Cortez absorbs the blows, the assault on the ribs making it harder and harder to breathe, and for an encore Spike rams his knee into Todd’s gut, slapping on a front facelock and throwing his rival’s arm up over his head, seemingly lifting Todd for a suplex…

...but Spike opts instead for hanging Todd out to dry on the top rope! Toxxic chuckles, applauding the move, as Jenkins snapmares Cortez out of his dangling position and back into the ring before tagging Sean Davis back into the match.

“Revolution Zero makes good with the quick tags," Comet says, "and Todd Cortez has to be hoping for a slip up at some point.”

“Slip up?" Riley responds mockingly. "They’ve got the former World Champion in their corner, and they’re taking on a team who couldn’t decide if they were together or not until less than a week ago. It’s not question of ‘will Revolution Zero win?’, but more of a ‘HOW will they?’”

The double team continues, as Davis enters and both members of Revolution Zero grab one of Cortez's arms. They whip Todd to the far side, pressing him up into the air on the rebound… but the landing is rough, as they bring Cortez down across their knees with a NASTY double backbreaker! Cortez topples off the two men's knees like a rag doll, clutching his back and agonizing over his bruised, possibly broken ribs, while Davis covers the wounded warrior.

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THR -- NO!" Van Siclen charges into the ring, dropkicking Davis in the face once more! The crowd erupts as Davis rolls off of Cortez, and Van Siclen bails to the outside!

“Van Siclen sticks it to Davis again," Riley says, "but that was just pure stupidity right there, Comet. Cortez could've thrown in the towel and spared himself the torture.”

“You know what, Robert?" Comet says, "Do you honestly think Citizen Cortez is going to risk his tag team gold because of some bruised ribs? Revolution Zero have a plan, but that doesn’t mean it’ll work.”

Revolution Zero's bruiser sits up, blood dripping from a cut on his forehead as he angrily gets to his feet. He latches onto the top rope, using it for support as he takes his right foot and steps on Todd’s throat with a blatant chokehold, again looking to cut off Todd’s air supply. Soapdish attempts to back Davis away, and gives him the five count as a warning…

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

... and the monster breaks the hold early, stomping Cortez in the ribs! Cortez coughs and sputters, gasping for air as Davis pulls him up off the mat. Sean stares Cortez in the eye, the scowl on his face showing Cortez (and the viewing audience) that he means business, as he scoops Todd up across his shoulders. Davis parades around the ring with Todd stretched out across his shoulders... but Cortez slides down Davis' back, going behind the Hardcore champion! Davis, rattled, turns around…

WHAM!

… and is met with a palm strike on the bridge of his nose!

“Simple, yet effective!” proclaims a pleased Cyclone Comet.

Sean staggers back, and quickly shakes the effects off in time to see another one coming…and sidesteps it, throwing his arms up and under Todd’s and planting him on the canvas in one swift motion with a full nelson slam! Jenkins looks down to Toxxic and Jet smirking, and then turns to see his partner looking for the tag. Spike happily obliges, as Davis still looks shaken up from that quick shot Cortez got in. Jenkins hops through the ropes and calls for Davis to pick Todd up, once again looking to take advantage of the five count. Revolution Zero back Cortez into the ropes and whip him to the far side, again catching him on the rebound and looking to toss him up into the air…

... but as they lift him, Cortez kicks out both of his legs, catching both men in the sternum! Jenkins falls down while Davis merely stumbles back. The Perfect Storm manages to stay on his feet, and he goes to approach Cortez... only to be cut off by Soapdish, who helpfully points out that Davis is now illegal! Soapdish ushers Davis out of the ring while Cortez grabs the bottom rope, trying to pull himself over towards the Hollywood Boulevard corner while Spike Jenkins is down! Masked Man pounds the apron, and Mike Van Siclen steps on the second rope, reaching out for the tag, feeling it coming as Todd is just a few feet from his corner…

*CRACK!*

... but Spike dives at Cortez, cracking the Urban Legend in the back of the head with a forearm!

“So close, yet so far away," Riley calls, "and this must feel like an eternity to Todd Cortez, especially since his insides are slowly turning to Jell-O.”

Riley snickers at his own joke as Jenkins grabs Todd, lifting him to his feet. Jenkins grabs Todd by the head and pulls him over to the Revolution Zero corner, throwing him into the corner. Todd slumps on the top rope, and Jenkins walks away from Cortez, towards the Hollywood Boulevard corner! He looks at Van Siclen, eyes glinting as he calls at him.

"Suck my dick!"

Jenkins laughs as Van Siclen... just, kinda... well, stares at him. Jenkins' shoulders slump, his ploy to sucker Van Siclen into distracting the ref having failed, and turns to Cortez, still stuck in the corner. He runs, jumping into the air and doing a handspring, bouncing off his hands and right into...

*CRACK!*

... a sick double jump kick right to the face of Cortez! Jet shouts her approval on the outside as Cortez falls out of the corner and onto his face! Jenkins looks down at Cortez, then looks back at Davis, making the tag!

"Jenkins getting in one move and then bailing," Comet says, "preferring to let his partner do all the work!"

"Hey now," Riley says, "if I had Sean Davis as a partner, I'd let him do all the work too!"

Comet sighs. "You said it."

Van Siclen bangs one fist on the turnbuckle, calling out for Cortez to make the tag as Sean Davis lumbers into the ring, craning his neck from side to side in an attempt to work some of the kinks out. He steps into the ring and grabs Cortez by the scruff of the neck, lifting the Urban Legend to his feet. Davis stands behind Cortez and grabs him under each arm with his own, locking his hands together to lock Todd into a full nelson! The crowd boos, anticipating the worst as Davis lifts Cortez high into the air before dropping him tailbone-first onto his knee with a killer full-nelson atomic drop!

Davis lets go of the full nelson, and Cortez pops off his knee and stumbles forward. Jet cheers from ringside, and again calls for Sean to "WORK THE RIBS!" The Perfect Storm gives a curt nod, and as Cortez begins to make his way towards the Hollywood Boulevrd corner he POUNCES~, charging forward and driving his shoulder into Cortez's ribs with a sick football tackle! Cortez falls like a sack of bricks, his ribs in searing pain as Davis stays on top of him, looking for the pin!

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE -- NO!" Mike Van Siclen again runs into the ring, this time reaching out and soccer-kicking Davis' head as hard as he can! Sean ROARS out in pain, rolling off of Cortez and grasping his neck in pain as Van Siclen goes back to his corner. The Revolution Zero corner is visibly upset with this call, and Jet leaps up onto the apron to argue with Soapdish! Jet's arguing opens up a door for BOTH Van Siclen and Jenkins, who enter the ring simultaneously! Jenkins goes over to Cortez, lifting him up onto his knees and leveling two swift kicks at his ribs, backing off a bit before delivering the knockout kick to Cortez's jaw!

*SNAP!* "OOOOOOOOOH!"

Cortez falls onto his back, possibly out cold as Jenkins bails, not even looking to see Van Siclen climbing the turnbuckles. He looks down at Davis, cringing in pain on the mat, and stands at his full height, stretching his arms out and letting out a primal roar! The crowd erupts, anticipating some major pain as Van Siclen leaps off the top rope, folding both of his legs back so that his knees are exposed as he falls to the mat...

... and CRUSHES Davis' larynx with a kneedrop to the throat! Davis clutches his neck in pain, gagging and sputtering! Jet, seeing this, yells at Soapdish to go scold Van Siclen, but before the poor referee can do anything the Spectacle rolls out of the ring, a satisfied smirk on his face as he slaps the hands of a few fans!

"Van Siclen is showing an entirely new focus tonight!" Comet cries. "He and Cortez both have only gotten in limited offence, but every time they get it they're attacking the head and neck of Sean Davis!"

"The problem is," Riley snarls, "that Van Siclen's limited offence comes as the illegal man. Davis and Jenkins have done an admirable job of keeping Cortez pasted to the mat and grabbing his ribs, and I don't think Cortez is getting the tag anytime soon!"

Soapdish, finally (somewhat) in control of this match, sees both men laid out in the ring and does what referees do...

"ONE!"

Van Siclen gets up onto the apron, pounding on the turnbuckle and cheering for Cortez to make the tag!

"TWO!"

Jenkins and Jet yell at Davis to make the tag, trying to make the big man focus on the match instead of the pain!

"THREE!"

Masked Man bangs on the mat in time with Van Siclen's pounding on the turnbuckle, and the crowd begins to clap along!

"FOUR!"

The clapping drowns out Jet and Jenkins' frantic yells, as Jenkins stands on the second rope and reaches way out, looking for the tag!

"FIVE!"

Cortez rolls over onto his stomach in the ring, looking up at his home corner and beginning the long, slow crawl back there!

"SIX!"

He gets closer and closer as the Revolution Zero screaming becomes more frantic, Toxxic even beginning to yell as Davis still won't get up!

"SEVEN!"

Van Siclen steps on the top rope, reaching out as far as he can and looking for the tag!

"EIGHT!"

Davis gets to his knees, crawling over to his corner and making the tag to Jenkins rather quickly! Jenkins jumps over the top rope and charges at Cortez...

"NINE!"

*SLAP!*

... but it's too late, as Todd makes the tag to Van Siclen! The crowd erupts, Van Siclen being the menacing figure for the first time in his career as he steps into the ring, charging the charging Jenkins and leveling him with a I HATE STRAIGHT EDGERS LIKE YOU AND WORSE YOU USED TO BE ONE OF US LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Jenkins falls to the mat, gasping for air as Van Siclen looks at Davis, standing woozily in his corner. Van Siclen grins, charging over to the corner and leaping onto the second rope, grabbing Davis by the head and bringing him down neck-first across the top rope! The crowd roars as the recoil sends Davis toppling off the apron, grabbing his neck in pain!

Jet and Toxxic scurry to the aid of their insurance policy, while Van Siclen spins around and bolts for a recovering Jenkins, throttling him with a running high knee! Spike struggles to his feet over by the ropes, and Van Siclen comes over and just paintbrushes him with BITCHSLAPS~!, a combination of his anger and his cockiness towards the young braggart Jenkins. Mike takes his arm and tosses Jenkins to the far ropes, but on the rebound Spike leapfrogs over a ducking Van Siclen and quickly comes up behind him, planting both feet into his back with a dropkick! Mike staggers towards the ropes upon impact, catching himself and slowly turning his head to Spike, who beams with pride. The sneer on Van Siclen’s face says it all, as Spike waves him on.

“Bring it, bitch!”

Never one to have his pride doubted, Van Siclen charges from his stance and quickly takes Spike to the mat with a double leg takedown! Mike holds Spike by the head, ramming the back of it into the canvas repeatedly, damaging the select few brain cells Jenkins may have left! Mike backs off, allowing Spike to get to his feet so that he can run the ropes and nail him with a YAKUZA KICK~…

…but it’s caught by Jenkins! Spike twirls Van Siclen around by his leg, and delivers a kick to the gut, then sets him up in a standing legscissors. Spike looks out to the crowd, then to Cortez and mutters “this one’s for you!” before reaching down and pulling Mike up, then stepping over his arms in all too familiar fashion.

”Spike Jenkins is looking to end this with the Riot Act on the very man who introduced the maneuver!”

“Poetic justice at it’s finest, Comet!”

Spike tries to hold Van Siclen, but doesn’t realize that if the man knows how to hit the move, he damn well knows how to reverse it. Mike shifts his weight, falling back into standing headscissors position, but pulls Spike up so that Jenkins dangles over his back, while Mike supports him by holding onto his legs.

“Spike Jenkins is about to pay the penalty for copyright infringement!”

Spike pays, and pays dearly, as shockwaves are sent up his spine when Mike sits out, jamming Spike’s head and neck on the canvas with the Van Slaminator to the joy of the wild crowd! Mike rolls onto his foe’s chest and cradles a leg, nodding his head along with Soapdish’s count…

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"NO!" Sean Davis stomps on Mike’s ribs to break up the fall!

“Get him back on the apron!”

A thick Romanian voice yells at Soapdish from the outside, and Soapdish nods, scurrying over to try and tame the wild Davis... who simply shoves him aside and goes to yank Van Siclen up! Mike goes limp in Davis' grasp, and the rookie Davis can’t see that he’s only playing possum until he slides his head under the Perfect Storm's jaw and sits out! A shocked Davis winds up the victim of a sitout jawbreaker…

*CRACK~!*

…and a superkick from Todd Cortez, as Hollywood Boulevard knock Davis through the ropes and to the floor with the Varsity Blues!

“What does Cortez think he’s doing?”

“Evening the odds, it would appear!”

Cortez falls back to the mat, this last expulsion of energy taking a lot out of him -- but taking more out of Davis, who is out cold on the floor! Toxxic and Jet hurry to try and revive him as Jenkins crawls slowly on the canvas, not aware that even if he gets to his corner, there will be no one to tag in. Van Siclen approaches him, and grabs him by his right leg, but before anything further can happen, the quick-thinking Jet hops up on the ring apron to jawjack with the Spectacle! Van Siclen drops Spike’s leg back to the mat, and smirks at the vocal valet…

... and then smiles wider as she’s yanked off the apron by Masked Man! The crowd roars, and Jet is in disbelief, while Masked Man waves his finger to show her that was a “no-no”! Jet fumes, and goes to slap Masked Man, who blocks and takes her by the arm…only to get sucker punched by a VERY pissed off Toxxic! The two lock up, brawling on the outside as in the ring, Van Siclen hefts Jenkins to his feet. Mike quickly goes behind Jenkins, ducking between Hollywood's legs and lifting him up in Electric Chair Drop position! The crowd erupts as Van Siclen drops Spike with the Electric Chair, and Cortez gets to his feet for the final time to add the Ace Crusher as Jenkins falls!

"THAT SPECIAL PLACE!" Comet cries. "That's the first time Jenkins has gone there since he started teaming with Toxxic!"

The crowd is on their feet as Cortez rolls out of the ring, helping the Masked Man with Jet and Toxxic on the outside as Van Siclen gets to his feet, rolling Jenkins onto his back and getting on top, hooking the leg and nodding, the crowd behind EVERY one of Soapdish's counts...

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

Sean Davis, on his feet on the outside, is the only man who can do anything to stop the fall, and he slides into the ring to break up the pin...

"THREE!"

... and drops a double axe-handle on Van Siclen one second too late!

*DING DING DING!*

The Oklahoma City crowd explodes as "Rush Against the Grain" hits the speakers again! Van Siclen rolls off Jenkins, clutching his back in pain after the axe handle as he rolls out of the ring! He grabs one of the SWF Tag Team championship straps from the timekeeper's table and lifts it high into the air as Funyon makes the announcement...

"Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, and STILL the S - W - F TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, Mike Van Siclen and the "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez, HOLLLLLLLL - ee - WOOOOOD BOULEVARD!"

Van Siclen continues holding the belt high in the air, locking eyes with a standing-and-irate Sean Davis. The two men stare at each other, hatred in both of their eyes. Jet and Toxxic slide into the ring, helping Jenkins to his feet, and the Masked Man helps Todd Cortez as the two men come over to stand behind Mike Van Siclen. Mike Soapdish hands Cortez the other Tag strap, and raises the hands of Hollywood Boulevard high into the air, as more cheers pierce the warm Oklahoma night! The crowd roars as the Urban Empire and Revolution Zero glare at each other, the cold and hateful gaze of Sean Davis the last thing we see before we...

FADE OUT.

August 26, 2004

SWF Lockdown has returned to the Ford Center, where good ol’ JR’s hometown crowd is cheering for the much more popular competition… The crowd has loved the show so far, and even if they didn’t, who cares, there from Oklahoma. However their excitement must be put into words, and those words are translated from a masked, spandexed superhero and a homosexual…ironically our current announce team.

Comet: “Citizens of the World, welcome back to SWF Lockdown! A strong show tonight, as we’ve already had two money matches… One being the Submission’s Ego match, and the other being the tag title match, which just happened recently.”

Riley: “I will never forget the vocal melody of hearing that name again.”

Comet: “We’ve also seen the former champ, Toxxic do battle with the newcomer, Justin Bowers. Also Grand Slam Mark Stevens go head to head with Ace Lezaire.”

Riley: “Plus many other battles that has made this federation one of the best things running today.”

Comet: “Good hype, Citizen Riles.”

Riley: “I thought so myself. Oh and that new champ might have said something… but I can’t remember.”

Comet: “You know Drugs kill…”

Riley: “Yeah right.”

Comet: “Citizen Bitch, I’m for real! Anyway, our next battle is a battle of the Titans so to speak. Although not physically large, they are two of the biggest presences in the SWF.”

Riley: “Oh puh-lease… we already saw Duran vs. Flesher not to long ago.”

Comet: “Indeed. However we are about to see Jamie Drazon do battle with Dace Night, and this time a shot to be the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Title, currently held by Johnny Dangerous, is on the line.”

Riley: “May I ask one question? What the hell happened to Toxxic? Shouldn’t He be the number one contender?”

Comet: “While I do believe he deserves a rematch… another contender for the title must be established. What better two then Dace Night or Jamie Drazon?”

Riley: “I’ll give you a hint and it starts with Flesh.”

Comet: “I hope that isn’t a double meaning.”

The bickering ends, as the arena drops the light making it dark enough for the crowd to have difficulty seeing the person beside them. After a few moments, allowing many lighters to flick on, camera flashes to go off, and some people to make absurd comments... Marilyn Manson's "Dope Hat" hits the speakers, igniting a strong mixed ovation from the Oklahoma crowd. Half the crowd Church going bitches, the other half, getting quite the kick at the prelude to the maniac’s entrance. Drazon finally steps through the curtains, his demeanor looks a little more determined then it has been in a while.

Funyon: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall… and it is to be for the Number One Contender to the SWF World Heavyweight Championship!”

The crowd turns more positive for the stakes of the match, as Drazon cracks his wrists and shoulders, before stepping down the ramp and to the ring.

Funyon: “Introducing first! He hails from Vancouver, British Columbia! He stands at Six feet Four inches and weighs in at 243 pounds! The hardcore Maniac… JAMIE DRAZON!!!”

Drazon rubs his hands over his trimmed skull, grinning, as he knows it’s time to do battle. He rolls inside the ring, stretching his lower body and cracking his upper body muscles. His wrists taped up and in black cut off jeans shorts, he relaxes in wait for the White Night.

Comet: “Drazon has been in the ring a few times with Dace Night. The White Night has gotten most of the victories if I recall correctly. So you can bet maybe there’s a little more on the line for Drazon tonight.”

Riley: “Yeah didn’t Dace make JD tap in their last affair, after Ace kicked the crap out of them both the whole match?”

The wait is short as “Painkiller" by Death kicks in a drum solo, while the lights flash red and white to the beats. The crowd roars in approval as the opening scream kicks in white pyro. The explosions carry along, lighting up the ramp from bottom to top before the song kicks into full gear. This cue is when Dace walks out. He walks down through the smoke and pyro, the crowd cheering him on every step of the way.

Funyon: “And his opponent! He hails from Birmingham, England! He stands at Six feet Four inches and weighs in at 252 pounds! The high master of Horrorcore… DACE NIGHT!!!”

It is mere seconds later when Dace climbs into the ring. Drazon steps back into the corner, respectfully giving him his space, Dace keeps his peripheral vision intact, but continues on as he throws the horns to the crowd.

Comet: “Although on record, both these men lost last week on Storm, one could say it wasn’t in the cleanest of manners. The victory of the fourway slipped through Drazon’s fingers last week, while Dace was counted out as Revolution Zero tried to take him out the hard way. Zenon must have saw something in this, or maybe the forces unknown are around.”

Riley: “The forces unknown are on crack, if they think these two deserve a shot before Flesher or Toxxic… Although I guess they have to build the mountain, to make Flesher or Toxxic’s conquering of it to make any money. Them investors, they’re brilliant. Make Flesher look better with dollars! Ahhh… to be evil.”

Comet: “Right right. Anyway the battle is almost underway, expect a hard hitting assault, as both these men are unafraid to pulverize each other!”

Riley: “Let’s hope they pulp-o-fie each other so they’re no longer around!”

In the ring, the ref calls for the bell, but neither man attacks. Keeping an eye on each other, and circling the ring clockwise, they make it from Six O’clock, to 8 O’clock the next day before stepping forward with a lockup. The struggle for control is imminent, as they remain in the center keeping their lower section of gravity firmly planted, while the upper half bobs back and forth. With a bit more power and weight though, Dace is able to shove JD back a step, but he leverages his legs down, making him a harder target to shove. Realizing he’s in a good step, Dace breaks free of the grapple and tightens his arm around the head of JD.

Comet: “Side headlock by Dace there. These men have fairly similar styles, very high impact hard-hitting folks.”

Riley: “Yeah yeah, plus violent lunatics to boot.”

Tightening the side headlock as he grinds Drazon’s neck, Dace let’s his adversary struggle in the hold for a few moments longer. Finally Horrorcore maneuvers in behind the maniac, releasing the headlock and shoves him into the ropes. Drazon returns with exceptional speed, ducking under the clothesline represented with Dace’s right, and hooks onto it with his left arm as he passes by. Passing Dace completely with only his arm attached, JD shifts his weight, spinning the White Night around. As Dace completes his turn, he spots Drazon’s right fist coming right for him, doing the sensible thing, Dace avoids by tilting back. Drazon tries to salvage his blow into a forearm, but not before Dace can get an arm up to block. Shoving Drazon’s arm away and exposing his chest, Dace whips his hand forward with lightning speed, smacking his palm right into Drazon’s chest.

“WHOO!!”

Drazon grits his teeth as he absorbs the blow enough through the cheering crowd.

Comet: “Dace connecting with a nasty knife-edge!”

Dace invites Drazon in, to which JD obliges and hits a knife-edge of his own.

“WHOO!!”

Dace fires back, connecting hard leaving a handprint intact!

“WHOO!!”

Drazon returns fire, turning the pale white into blistering red. “WHOO!” Dace growls and steps forward with another, but Drazon has a change of plans, gripping under Dace’s shoulder and catching his wrist, Drazon launches Dace over his shoulder with a Judo Throw! Although taking the throw on his back, Dace is quick to his feet. Drazon opts to head for the ropes, rebounding off he spots Dace heading for him, and leaping into the air. Drazon safely ducks under the leapfrog and heads for the other ropes as Dace drops to the mat. On the bounce back, Drazon barely has time to react as Dace extends his legs over his head, but the instincts allow him to dive high in the air.

Comet: “Dace looking for a monkey flip here…”

However Drazon’s middle half is able to soar enough into the air to avoid any assistance in his dive, landing with his hands out and rolling to safety as a frustrated Dace returns to his feet with a few nanoseconds to spare on JD. While JD is in the process of spinning around, Dace is only a meter away. Striking with a right in defense, JD is unable to catch the determined Dace, as the White Night hooks his wrist and drives his hips forward, before twisting the opposite way. Drazon realizes Dace has enough pressure to break his wrist if he doesn’t oblige, so he braces for impact after being hurled with an arm drag.

Riley: “Dace is showing his skill in the wrestling battle!”

Comet: “Drazon’s a veteran in this circle and can carry himself in many battles, but not against as one as skilled as Dace Night. He’s so fluid, so much of what he does is just executed with deadly accuracy.”

Riley: “And if that don’t work… beware the weedwhacker!!”

Dace wastes no time in celebrating, knowing well enough to keep on his foe, following up on JD who is now at his feet, and fires a stiff elbow blast that knocks him into the corner. The crowd beginning to put their energy into Dace, he drapes Drazon’s arm closest to his over the top rope and fires off another knife-edge chop.

“WHOO!!”

The Oklahoman’s applauding Britain’s high chief of horrorcore. Dace fires another chop, the smack heard even by the deafest of crowds, as does the high pitch-

“WHOO!!”

-that follows. Not wanting to give JD any chance to defend while he has him trapped, Dace buries his knee into the abdomen of JD. Dace latches onto Drazon’s wrist, stepping back three paces before heaving Drazon to the other side of the ring with an Irish whip. Drazon bounces out of the turnbuckles, only to be promptly knocked into another sense when Dace connects with an elbow strike!

CRACK!

Comet: “Oh! Listen to that shot! Can Dace hit or can Dace hit!”

Sensing retaliation, instead of striking, Dace pulls JD into a front facelock. Cinching in a tight grip, Dace tosses the arm over and thrusts his leg power with whipping force for the snap suplex. Drazon can feel his internals rattle, but has to think about it another time as Dace floats over with the cover, securing most of Drazon’s chest to the mat.

One…

Two…

The ref’s hand barely hits the mat as Drazon powers his shoulder up. The audience cheers for the near fall and it being the first cover of the match. Dace pulls his adversary to his feet, slapping him with two punches to wear him down, he pushes Drazon away a comfortable distance. Staggering back a few steps but facing Dace, Drazon spots the White Night’s legs heading for him. Reading the strike early on, Drazon retaliates with a front kick of his own, catching Dace’s striking leg in the shin and knocking back a few inches from where it came from. Although the stinging pain is not enough to immobilize Dace, it allows JD to sneak forward, clamping on his own front facelock, and in mere moments, hurls Dace over with his own snap suplex. The crowd pops for JD as he connects with the retaliation suplex.

Comet: “The crowd wanting to get behind both men! They are so physical… so intensely aggressive!”

Riley: “Go on… say hardcore.”

Comet: “Get your mind out of the gutter!”

Deciding against pinning Dace, Drazon lets him roll away as he returns to his feet, twisting his spine as the fluids in his back pop. Dace returns to his feet albeit a higher urge to fight is taking over. Spotting his foe step in, Dace fires off a jab with his right. Drazon’s left arm blocks, and counters with a right forearm before Dace can react.

CRACK

Although he stumbles back a step, Dace doesn’t let up, stepping in with his left, only for JD to block. The aggression to score a hit fueling up, Dace swings with a right, but JD blocks again, leaving both arms apart, and thrusts his head forward.

CRACK

Dace again stumbles in reverse, staying on his feet as he adjusts his sinuses into place. Drazon charges forward two steps with a shoulderblock. Although the shot to the nose stung, Dace remembers that his old lady kicks his ass harder then this. He rejuvenates in time to retrieve JD and hoist him up before sending the reverberating shock through his entire body with a Manhattan drop. Drazon grits his teeth in pain, as he wants to rub his aching choda, but opts against it with this crowd. Dace pulls JD to his side, waistlocking him around the hips before heaving him up and slamming him on the other side of the ring with a gutwrench suplex.

Comet: “A second suplex by Dace Night!”

Riley: “The more of those you land, the more vulnerable one is for more deadly attacks!”

Comet: “Very true! But this is a world title match, not a competition for JD and Dace to see who can do the most suplexes!”

Riley: “Yeah… cause regardless who wins, they both would lose to Flesher.”

Drazon turns over, trying to relieve some of the pressure, but Dace knows how aggressive JD is, and he knows he can be just as aggressive when the time calls for it. When the chance at the World Title is on the line, it damn well better be time. Dace drives a knee right into the upper section of Drazon’s back. Feeling the sudden rush of pain, and whom it’s coming from, although it’s uncomfortable for him Drazon rolls away and pushes to his feet.

Comet: “Dace looking to set his sights on Drazon’s back!”

Riley: “Well it was not longer then a month ago when he made JD tap out to that Torture Crab in the submissions match! A submission victory would be a good statement to the champ!”

Dace takes a moment to acknowledge the Oklahoma crowd with his right arm, before walking over to JD and popping him with it. Drazon absorbs the blow as Dace steps into his side. Reacting, Drazon places Dace in a side headlock, however he doesn’t realize how useless his tactic is until Dace hoists him into the air. Finally spotting that the headlock won’t work, Drazon opts for punching, but his fists aren’t deadly enough to prevent his inevitable roadblock as Dace crushes his vertebrae with a backbreaker. Drazon’s body bounces off of Dace’s knee before Dace pulls him inward and makes another cover.

Comet: “Dace keeping this battle more toward the mat wrestling side. No as usual, but he seems to be having an easier time connecting with some of his moves over his strikes.”

ONE…

TWO…

But Drazon again gets the shoulder up to the delight of the crowd. Taking the moment to lift JD into the air, he tugs both his arms into a double underhook, placing JD to one side. Again recognizing his predicament, Drazon ducks his head in between Dace’s legs and arches upward, launching London’s own with a back body drop. As Dace hits the mat, JD has already bounced off the ropes. Dace rolls to his knees and spots the freight train of an opponent ready to steamroll him over. However as JD prepares to extend one of his nastier kicks, Dace is already protecting his face. The crowd a little more on Drazon’s side, he cuts short, slapping his leg before pointing to Dace exactly what could have happened.

Comet: “Dace tried to end this battle, and Drazon is letting him know that the fight ain’t over!”

Riley: “Drazon doesn’t normally panic like that. However there ain’t too many I know of who have survived the Defenestration.”

Comet: “I know about just as many who have lived through the Shining Black.”

A little aware that it was too early, Dace rises with a smile, rather proud to see the fight alive and strong in Jamie. With his opponent ready to fight, Dace doesn’t back down, meeting Drazon head on. Jamie steps in, snapping with both hands forward, Dace raises his arms to block, but Drazon strikes right into his wrists! Growling, Dace drops his defenses briefly from the sting. However the brief moment is all JD needs to land a palm strike into the forehead of Dace Night. As Dace steps forward, Drazon directs a kick straight for his knee, catching the lower half of it. Dace growls out as he takes a step back, giving Drazon the moment he is looking for as he charges forward.

Comet: “Drazon looking to takeover control here…”

-However he is only craned high into the air before Dace caves in his internal organs as he crushes him into the mat with a release spinebuster. Drazon attempts to sit up, but his upper torso barely makes a 30 degree angle with the mat before collapsing in pain. Dace shakes off his leg as he throws the Horns sign out to the crowd before dropping to his knees and making the cover with a hook of the leg.

Riley: “Ouch! That had some impact!”

ONE…

TWO…

THR… KICKOUT by Drazon.

The crowd cheers for the continuation of the match and some for Drazon’s resilience. Dace starts to think for a different route and pulls Drazon so he is sitting upright. Placing his knee right into Drazon’s back, Dace reaches around and begins pulling on his chin. Not wishing to stay with the chinlock, instead transitioning it over Dace chickenwings both arms of JD and proceeds to dig his knee in. Feeling the intense pressure, Drazon growls as his arms are torn back and his back is being put into an uncomfortable position.

Riley: “Dace went from a chinlock to a double chickenwing… but is staying on the back. Wise tactics for this British idiot.”

Comet: “Citizen Dace is a smart wrestler indeed. But in combat, Drazon is just as intelligent. These men are so close, yet so different! I’m loving this battle!”

The crowd seems to be with Comet as they start to cheer Drazon on. Ignoring the crowd, Dace buries his knee deeper into Drazon’s back.

Comet: “This would be perfect condition to place Drazon in that Torture Crab mind you!”

Riley: “Heh… can’t say I’d hate the sight of seeing his streetfighting ass bent in two!”

Feeling no choice, Drazon uses Dace’s knee as leverage as he bridges his feet up from the mat. The pressure on his backaches at first, but the pain is relieved as he pulls himself upright. Not having to fear a lowblow in the current contest, Drazon widens his stance as he tries to relieve the pressure on his arms.

Comet: “A setup for the Torture Crab it may be… but that hold is no way near strong enough to hold Drazon down for long.”

His arms not weakened, and Dace losing more and more leverage by the second, Drazon is able to stand upright from the hold. Finally deciding the switch, Dace drops lower with a waistlock. Jamie responds by grapevining his leg to prevent himself taking any unregistered flights. Dace takes the opportunity and drives his forearm into the lower kidney area of Drazon’s back. Growling out in pain, Drazon tries to arch his back out, but Dace wraps his arms around in a second waistlock. Again Drazon grapevines the leg.

Comet: “Dace still in control, but is facing a reluctant Drazon!”

Finally torqing in the right direction, Drazon breaks the waistlock with a standing switch. Applying his own waistlock. Dace doesn’t bother with the grapevine, instead breaking free with an elbow shot to Drazon’s cheek. The two men separate, but Dace promptly swings with another elbow. Only Drazon sidesteps the blow and brings his knee straight up, burying it into the solar plexus of Dace Night. Following quickly with a tight front facelock, Drazon drops straight South, taking the White Night head first into the mat with the JD DDT! Doing a full headstand before crumpling to the mat, Dace lies still as Drazon makes the cover, draping himself over slowly…

ONE…

Hooking the leg…

TWO…

TH… but Dace gets a shoulder up anyway! The audience loves it, getting behind Dace a little more but cheer as JD slowly rises to his feet as well.

Comet: “These men are giving it hard! Although neither man has had a long advantage, I’d say Dace has delivered a bit more on the punishment side.”

Riley: “Yeah with Drazon barely keeping up!”

Drazon slowly makes it to his feet, with a groggy Dace not far behind him. The crowd begins cheering both men as Drazon steps forward, holding his arms out for Dace to come get some. Drazon then thrusts inward, but Dace is up to defend, however as Dace raises his guard for a strike, Drazon sneaks behind and applies a waistlock once more. Not hesitating a step as he doesn’t wish to eat another elbow, Drazon arches his spine and thrusts with all the might in his legs as he takes Dace over with a German suplex!

Comet: “My lord! Drazon crushes Dace with that German suplex!”

Dace doesn’t fold up from the impact like many others of Drazon’s suplex victims, instead twisting a bit for air as the blow still winded him. Drazon slowly sits up, stretching his arms back as he tries to stretch out the pain in his back. Taking a deep breath, he rolls over as he crawls over to Night and cradles the leg for the cover.

Comet: “This could do it folks! Drazon didn’t quite get all of that suplex though!”

ONE…

TWO…

THRE…NOO! Dace get a shoulder up.

Comet: “It’s ov—NO! Dace escapes at the very last moment!”

Drazon rubs his head, taking away pools of sweat as he shakes his head in disappointment. Drazon pulls Dace off the mat, lifting his arm up and wrapping it around his neck. Drazon cranks on the neck for a second, twisting it awkwardly with vicious frustration. Finally he uses the leverage and hauls Dace to his feet. Drazon imprints his knee into Dace’s mid-section once more, pulling him into a front facelock.

Comet: “Drazon maybe looking to put Dace Night away for good hear!”

Drazon tightens his grip as he elevates Dace’s neck higher up. However Dace’s places his leg between Drazon’s with a step, tempting JD back a step. However when he raises his foot, that’s when he feels Dace’s arms clasp around his waist. Drazon knows where he is, and knows what to say…

“Ah shit.”

As Dace Night breaks out of the facelock with an audience popping Northern Lights suplex! Feeling the life in Dace, it’s as if their adrenaline alone hold Dace up in the bridging pin that follows.

ONE…

TWO…

THR… However Drazon is still able to break free of the pin.

Comet: “Desperation suplex by Dace there, or maybe Citizen Night is quite resourceful on instincts.”

Dace pulls himself to his feet, knowing to take advantage now while Drazon is still down. He looks out to the crowd with his crooked British smile, and slices his thumb out across his throat. The audience cheers as Dace intends now to end this battle, and reaches down to the limp Drazon and elevates his legs. However JD shows some life, and promptly latches onto the ankles. As Dace begins to struggle, JD pulls him down into a small package.

ONE…

TWO…

THR… but Dace kicks out!

Comet: “JD almost stole a victory with that counter to the Torture Crab!”

Drazon rolls over to his hands and knees, trying to regain his momentum but Dace has already made it up. He hauls Drazon up and snaps a leg up high, connecting across Drazon’s chest with a forceful roundhouse kick. The impact knocks JD staggering back into the ropes. He rebounds off, ready to strike with a lariat, but Dace ducks low, pulling Drazon into a rear waistlock, and snaps with arching thrust power of DOOMZ0rz, cremating Drazon into the mat with a Dangerous German Suplex!

Riley: “Owee that had to sting just a little!”

Comet: “Drazon on the painful end of that exchange!”

Drazon’s body loses most elasticity as he slumps to the mat, only to be covered mere seconds later by Dace Night. The crowd’s cheering is growing stronger behind Dace as he makes the cover.

ONE…

TWO…

THRE… but Drazon gets a shoulder up!

Comet: “You can’t keep a good maniac down for long!”

Noticing the angle in which Drazon landed, the crowd pops pretty loud for the kickout, applauding the endurance of Jamie in the battle of the #1 contenders. Dace pulls himself up to his feet, standing over JD. Looking out to the crowd, as he wipes the sweat off his brow, Dace drops his knee into the chest of JD with a knee drop. He looks out to the crowd, extending his arms and bearing his teeth, he makes the motion like he bent a flex bar. Many in the crowd take it as the signal that Dace wishes to bend JD in two.

Riley: “Heh heh. A submission seems to be on Dace’s mind! Although I’d love to see Jamie Drazon in the Torture Crab… I personally think Johnny Dangerous would epitomize the meaning of photogenic in that hold.”

Comet: “A deadly hold possessed by Citizen Night indeed!”

Dace heads to the lower side of JD, and once more he reaches for the legs of the Hardcore Maniac. Dace elevates JD high off the mat, higher then last time, but is still met with resistance. Dace won’t be outdone this time though, shoving with much of the pressure in his legs, attempting to folds Drazon’s upper half over.

Comet: “Drazon will not consciously go into that hold! He knows how much it hurts! He won’t let it happen tonight if he can help it!”

Riley: “I have to agree! Fight as much as you can JD, it makes your bending into doom that much sweeter!”

Dace grunts as he has Drazon nearly vertical, but not in the side he’d like. Finally Drazon wraps his arms around Dace’s ankles, squeezing by the knees as he tampers with the White Night’s balance. Dace struggles for control, but it’s not long before his leg collapses on him from JD’s weight coupled by him tiring himself out against a locked resistance. Drazon follows by scissorlocking the same leg-

CRACK

-but eats an elbow from Dace Night! Drazon sucks in the pain and releases the scissorlock over the leg. However as Dace pulls away, Drazon slips in behind, shooting his legs up and hooking underneath of Dace’s shoulders, rolling the Prince of Horrorcore up and draping his shoulders to the mat…

ONE…

TWO…

Only for Dace to roll all the way through, hanging onto Drazon’s legs in the process as the stands straight up.

Comet: “Sneak rollup by JD once more, but Dace was ready for it!”

Dace pulls Drazon straight up and turns his leg over to the other side. Jamie turns over scratching and clawing at the mat, already pulling himself to the ropes before Dace can lock in the hold.

Comet: “Dace has turned him over! We’re only seconds away from a Torture Crab!”

Riley: “But JD is by the ropes! It won’t do him any good to make JD submit if he is DQed!”

Aware of Drazon’s escape convenience, Dace drags JD to the center of the ring. However when he goes to sit down, Drazon has already pulled himself halfway to the ropes. The crowd cheering for both men, some for Dace to lock it on while some are for JD to grip onto the ropes. However with the tip of his hand about a foot away from the ropes, Drazon feels the sudden pressure clamp down on his spine. In that instant, Drazon’s hands lower from the ropes and grip the mat in pain. The crowd sympathizes but half of them cheer anyway as Dace has finally cinched in his Torture Crab!

Comet: “HE got it! It’s all over!”

Riley: Only a matter of time!”

As his fingers dig in, Drazon drags his hands across the mat. Reaching towards the ropes, drawing his hand out as the crowd is now more on his side. It’s only inches away. Dace crushes his knee further into Drazon’s spine, grinding it as he does so, but that grind is the pain jolt Drazon needs to grab onto the bottom rope! Screaming in pain, Drazon pounds the mat in frustration as the ref tries to inform Dace that JD made it to the ropes. The camera focuses in on Drazon’s eyes, the blood vessels in the back shattered as he begins to let the pain soak in.

Comet: “He made it! Drazon survived the Crab long enough to grab the ropes, and the crowd loves it!”

For the first time in the match, the majority of the crowd seems to be on Drazon’s side as Dace releases the hold. Drazon let’s his head hang over the bottom rope, gasping for breath as he drains some of the pain out. Finally he begins to climb, pulling himself up rope by rope. The crowd cheering both men, however Dace pays no worry to him. He knows that even though he may respect this man’s ability, he must break him. It is the calling of the SWF heavyweight title that fuels these men, possesses them for even greater feats. As Drazon rises, Dace is right back on him, and buries his forearm right into Drazon’s back. Jamie growls out in pain as his back hurt now more then it has this entire match.

Comet: “Dace was close with that Torture Crab! But don’t think he’s going to give up!”

Riley: “Smart tactic! Stay on that back! It will be the falling point for JD!”

Dace pulls Drazon by the wrist, and mustering out some aggression, he Irish whips Drazon to the corner. Hitting the buckles hard, Drazon rests his arms over the top, growling out in anger. Dace winds his arm up as he charges forward, angling back from about six feet away, before he whips his entire body inward with a charging lariat…

-Into the open turnbuckles!

Comet: “Drazon moved! Dace just creamed himself!”

Rumbling the ring after crashing sternum first into the buckles, Dace faces more bad news, as Drazon fires out desperation Thai Roundhouse kick-

CRRRRAAAAAACCCKKK!!!

Dace stumbles to the mat and rolls away as JD collapses onto the ropes. Getting his breath back and trying to tough out the spasms his back is feeling. The crowd begins cheering for him as Dace gets up.

Comet: “Drazon just connected with the Thai Roundhouse, but can he capitalize!!?”

Dace showing he’s far tougher then most, gets up and charges straight for JD. Looking for the kill, he fires out with a Yakuza kick…

-but Drazon steps to the side! Drazon pushes Dace’s leg high into the air and showing his nasty sign, kicks the supporting ankle of Dace Night right out from under him! Connecting with a sick crack on the ball of the ankle, Dace drops down as he grabs his ankle in shock. Drazon again collapses back onto the top rope, pulling all his might together as the pain in his back is showing it’s wearing him down. He holds up his hands to Dace though, and encourages him to fight.

Comet: “A nasty kick to Dace Night’s ankle! These men are getting dangerous!”

Riley: “It’s about bloody time! I figured they would have bloodied themselves eons ago!”

The Englishman shows he ain’t like the cowards that run his country, and stands up ready to fight. He walks straight for JD, and blocks the punch that greets him. Dace comes in and connects with another elbow strike!

CRACK

Drazon stumbles back many steps, but Dace won’t let him get away. He steps straight for JD, but all of a sudden, Drazon stops and hurls him into the air unexpectedly flapjack style before bringing him crashing down onto the top rope with a stun gun! Dace springs off the top rope like it was a trampoline as he reaches around his jugular, looking for air. However instead of air, he finds Drazon. With intentions to chop down, Drazon kicks Dace’s knee out from under him, dropping him to one knee. He spins around the opposite side, and brings a thunderous knee crashing into his face.

Comet: “Drazon stunned Dace off guard! Can he get the win!?”

Dace crumples down to a kneeling position…

Riley: “Uh-oh!”

Drazon propels himself off the ropes…

Comet: “SHIIIIIIIIIIIINIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!”

He steps off Dace’s leg that was kicked out and now kneeling, extending his right with blunt force…

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Comet: “-BLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!”

Dace falls to the mat as a relieved Drazon drops to his knees. Letting his energy level soar down a bit, he drapes an arm over Dace and hooks the leg for the cover…

ONE…

TWO…

THREE!!!

DING DING DING

Dope Hat hits the speakers as the ref raises Drazon’s hand in victory.

Funyon: “The winner of this match via pinfall! NOW THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE SWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! JAMIE DRAZON!!!!!”

The crowd cheers for the victorious Drazon as he slowly rises to his feet.

Comet: “Drazon makes it out of this match with the victory!”

Riley: “Survived is more the word! Drazon just survived a battle!”

Comet: “The new number one contender, the journey is only beginning for Jamie Drazon!”

Riley: “But we gotta go to commercial!”

Comet: “Indeed we do! Landon vs. Max King… next!”

Commercial

August 26, 2004

Lockdown returns from it's final commercial break and back into The Ford Center, where SWF ring announcer Funyon is already in the ring and ready to get the final match of the night underway. Meanwhile, to his right stands senior official Nick Soapdish...and to his left, a considerbly more provocatively dressed female...

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your MAIN EVENT of the evening! Scheduled for one fall, with T.V time remaining, it is for the SWF INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!"

"YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Introducing first...she represents the challenger this evening. She claims to be the most respected manager in the SWF today. She is KELLY... CONNELLY...."

Right as Funyon finishes, Kelly snatches the microphone from out of Funyon's hand and sneers at him. He simply sighs and backs off, as Connelly points an accusing finger at him.

"Stand aside little man and let the EXPERT take over." Kelly snaps, as Funyon raises his eyes. "Ladies, gentlemen, children and OAPs of Oklahoma..."

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

"...please be upstanding for the true future of this business. Everyone sitting at home, you might as well stand up too. Get the cameras out...set the video...make sure your TiVo is working. For you all are mere moments away from witnessing wrestling history. Very rarely does such an opportunity come along to see what has become known in professional sporting circles as the 'passing of the torch'. But tonight, that is EXACTLY what you will see. So everybody stand up...get up on your feet, and welcome the NEXT SWF Intercontinental Television CHAMPION. He's all your wildest dreams rolled up into one, slim, trim package. For your viewing pleasure and delight...he is "THE ICON"... MAAAAAAAAXXXX... KIIIIIIINNNGGGGG!!!"

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!*

As if on cue, pyro fills the air above the stage and "Superstar" by Saliva strikes up. Once the fireworks have died down, Max King emerges through the curtains and pauses on the stage, to pose with arms outstreched.

"There he is!" Riley booms. "The future ICTV Champion...I called it on Storm and I'm calling it again tonight! Maddix just doesn't have what it takes to beat this man."

"Still sucking up to King, eh?"

"No. Although...there's nothing wrong with that."

"Sure."

King strides down the aisle, clearly relishing his position at the top of the card, as Kelly holds the ropes open ready. Into the ring enters King, flashing a smile towards Kelly as he stands in the centre of the ring. Kelly walks back over to her man, standing behind him...

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

*DUM DUM*

...before getting cut off by Incubus' "Megalomaniac", much to Kelly's chagrin. Moments later, Landon Maddix bursts through the curtains to a rather mixed reaction from the fans, mostly negative but certainly not to the levels of usual. Megan Skye follows out a step behind, her black eye still visable despite make-up covering it. Unstrapping his ICTV Championship, Maddix passes the gold to Megan before striding down the aisle.

"And the opponent...he is the reigning and defending SWF Intercontinental Television Champion of the WOOOORLD! From Huron, South Dakota...he weighs two hundred and ten pounds...he is LANDON MADDIX..."

Funyon rushes to the end of his introduction, as Maddix slides into the ring and charges at King with forearms flying! Kelly and Funyon are quick to leave the ring, as Soapdish quickly calls for the bell.

*DING DING DING!*

"We're underway!" Comet exclaims. "And look at Citizen Maddix go!"

King quickly finds himself on the back-foot, as Maddix continues throwing forearm after forearm to the jaw of the challenger. Caught off guard, King stumbles back a couple of steps and finds himself pressed up against the ropes with nowhere to go, still getting rocked by the forearms. Eventually, King regains enough of his bearings to thrust forward and push Maddix to the mat. But Landon rolls through on landing, right back to his feet...and with all the anger and frustrations of the past few days welling up, he charges again and forearms Max in the jaw. This time, Max stumbles even further back and falls through the middle and top ropes out to the floor. Kelly thinks about coming over to check on her man. But Maddix walks over and grabs the top rope, using it as a slingshot to launch out of the ring and wipe the dis-orientated King out with a plancha before Kelly can get to him!

"What a start from Maddix!" the still surprised Comet yells. "Max King doesn't know what has hit him!"

Pushing Maddix's body off of his, King pulls himself back to his feet and uses the apron to steady himself. But sure enough, Maddix is right back up and charging at King. King reads it this time though, manages to lift his boot up for Maddix to run headlong into. That staggers Landon back a step, as King grabs his opponent by the hair and hurls him effortlessly into the apron head-first. Quickly King bundles Maddix the rest of the way back into the ring, following after him and balling his fist up meaningfully...

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!"

...only to take a lowblow from Maddix!

"Ugh, King left himself wide open for that one." groans Riley.

Doubling over, King falls forward and ends up hanging throat first across the top rope as Maddix gets back to his feet. A quick kick to the ribs by Landon is followed by a punch to the back of the head. King turns around but gets kneed in the ribs by Maddix, who grabs King by the arm and looks to irish whip the challenger across the ring, but doesn't count on King reversing the whip. Maddix gets sent across the ring, hitting the ropes and running back into a waiting clothesline from King! Maddix flies off his feet, landing hard on his upper back, while King starts to adjust his jaw. But that doesn't please Kelly, who is screaming at her man to make the cover...which he promptly does.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Shaking his head, King stands over Maddix who is beginning to sit up. But a stomp to the chest brings him back down to the mat, in position for King to place his foot over Maddix's eyes and RAKE downwards, causing the ICTV Champion much discomfort.

"Citizen King, attempting to slow the pace. That is clearly the best form of action he could take."

"Well, obviously. When the pace is quick, we've seen that Maddix has the advantage. But a slow pace more than favours King."

With Maddix clutching at his eyes, King has the time to line Maddix up for a big elbow drop...but takes too much time, and misses. Maddix quickly gets back to his feet and runs to the ropes, with King getting up just in time to take a clothesline. The blow rocks King but he remains on his feet, so Maddix nails a boot to the gut and looks to spike King with a DDT. But Max shows lightning reactions and no sooner has Maddix put on the front facelock, King breaks into a charge that any NFLer would be proud of and SLAMS Landon back-first into the turnbuckles. And with Landon trapped in the corner, King continues his shoulder barges, weakening Maddix to the point of him flopping forward. King uses that to his advantage, picking Landon up over his shoulder and turning away from the corner, before drilling Maddix to the mat with a BIIIG spinebuster!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

The crowd, still not sure who to route for and who not, decide to get on Kelly Connelly's case as she applauds her man's efforts. Meanwhile, 'her man' stands over Maddix, glaring down at him...before suddenly breaking into a smile, and dragging him back to his feet. The sudden offensive flurry from King has halted Maddix's speedy burst and now he has the time to line his opponent up, for a stinging right hand. Maddix drops to his knees, as King drags him back and irish whips Maddix...

*CHINK!*

...sternum first into the turnbuckles, the impact causing Maddix to stagger back into an enziguri kick!

"That may change the course of this match...Citizen Maddix hit those turnbuckles with a vengeance right there!"

"Well, it'll certainly slow him down." Riley agrees.

Now, Megan is beginning to look a little worried, as King again stops and takes his sweet time over his next move...which happens to be the elbow drop which he wasn't able to hit earlier, but this time connects. Landon is now breathing heavily, with the air having been knocked out of him. King meanwhile turns to Kelly and raises his eyebrows, as if to say 'what next', and gets the candid response "knee...knee". Sure enough, King nods and with the crosshairs locked on the right knee of the champion, King moves in...

...but takes a stinging kick from the left leg of Maddix! King backs off a step as Maddix kicks with the left again...but this time, King catches the leg and uses it to flip Landon onto his front. Quickly Max grabs the right leg with his other arm and lets out a roar of intensity, before springing into the air and snapping Landon's legs back towards him with the Leg Snapper! Cursing and cussing, Landon clutches his right leg...still hurting from Cortez's efforts on Storm...as King grabs the legs again, utilising the Leg Snapper for a second time.

"MAX KING SUCKS! MAX KING SUCKS! MAX KING SUCKS!"

Hearing the chants of the crowd, Max shakes his head with a wry smile and picks up the legs again. But this time Maddix is ready, pushing up on his hands and rolling forwards, taking King with him with a cradling pin...

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

"Don't count Citizen Maddix out here...that quickness is always there, and King was just reminded of that!" Comet gasps.

A little shocked, King gets up as Landon does the same. King is quickest to react though, managing to catch the limping champion with a quick kick to the knee. That drops him to his other knee, but King pulls Landon straight back up and drills him with a forearm blow. The slower, methodical style seems to be working for King at the moment, as he kicks at the knee again. This time Maddix can no longer stand, dropping to the canvas. King swiftly moves in and holds Landon's leg down, before driving a knee into the inside of Landon's...knee. A wail of pain comes from Maddix's direction, as Max leaves the knee planted and starts to grind away on the inner-knee of his opponent.

"You see?" Riley chimes. "Kelly Connelly has her man PERFECTLY prepared for this match, his strategy is down to a tee. He's pin-pointed the weak body-part. Add in Maddix's preperations, or lack of...and it seems my prediction is on the money, honey!"

"Well, 1 for 58 wouldn't be too shabby I suppose." sneers Comet.

Maddix groans and moans in pain as King starts to undulate his leg, sending wave after wave of pain into his opponent's knee. Referee Soapdish is right down with Maddix, checking to see if he wants to give it up...but Maddix grits his teeth and shakes his head to Soapdish, before pushing up on his arms. But King reaches forward and hooks an arm under the champion's chin and begins to wrench back.

"Citizen King is stretching Landon out here...almost an STF, only without the step-over."

"So, nothing like an STF then?" Riley sighs.

"Well...I guess not."

"...how did you get this job again?"

"It's similar to an STF though. King has the leg trapped, the head pulled back...and all the while, he's expending minimum energy while "La Cucaracha" is feeling the pain."

Now Maddix is pretty much trapped and Kelly is yelling at Soapdish to ask Maddix for a submission. He is doing so, but Maddix simply won't give up. Instead he takes his free left leg and kicks back with little accuracy but enough force for the one good kick he hits to stun King. Still Maddix kicks away, finally connecting with one across the forehead that forces King to break! Staggering up to his feet, Max shakes off the cobwebs as Landon pulls himself to his feet gingerly. Swinging with a forearm, Maddix rocks King again and follows up...

*SLAP!*

"WHOOOO!"

...with a knifedge chop! But King shrugs that right off, kneeing Maddix in the gut to shift the momentum back his way. With that sorted, King goes right back to the knee as he steps behind Maddix drops down to chopblock the knee from underneath him. Landon collapses to the mat in pain, as again Max stops and thinks his next move over.

"Again, back to the knee." Comet commentates. "Smart strategy from King, who refuses to be over-awed by the occassion here."

"You can thank Kelly for that. Like I said, she's got her man perfectly prepared."

Pulling Maddix away from the ropes and into the centre of the ring, King lifts up the right leg of "La Cucaracha" and drops an elbow into the joint. It's then a case of rinse-repeat, as King does the same thing a second and then a third time. Now the knee is really weakened, as Max raises the leg into the air again. But before he can go any further, Kelly is again shouting advise to her man which the camera can't quite pick up on. Max understands the hollering though, nodding to Kelly and stepping over the leg. With a quick twist, Max looks to lock on a figure-four leglock...but Maddix manages to reach up and pop him in the jaw with a right hand. King staggers back a step which allows Maddix to free his left leg and jam it forwards into the 'thigh' area of King, doubling him over for a kick to the back of the head! Away stumbles King, as Maddix slowly pulls himself up. But as he does, King suddenly exploded into life and runs through Maddix like a train with a clothesline!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!"

The crowd gasp as Maddix crashes to the canvas, his body contorting on landing as Max drops down and makes a pin.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

"Citizen Maddix simply can't mount a prolonged comeback at the moment." observes Comet. "Everytime he gets somewhere, King mows him back down!"

King drags Maddix back to his feet and hooks around his waist, lifting the two hundred ten pounder off the canvas, before bringing him back down with a kneebreaker...holding onto the right knee and legdragging Maddix to the canvas by that leg. Winding up on the mat clutching his knee, Maddix is now in serious discomfort. Meanwhile, King is still looking confident and coherent, as he moves in on Landon and kicks the knee. From the outside, Megan is beginning to shout encouragement Maddix's way, but it's not helping at the moment. King grabs Maddix by the hair and drags him to his feet, giving him a playful slap on the way. But suddenly Landon pulls away from King...

*SLAP!*

"WHOOOO!"

*SLAP!*

"WHOOOO!"

...and nails another couple of knifedge chops. This time King feels the effects and Maddix sticks with what's working, striking King with a forearm to the chest and then one to the jaw. But again, King is able to knee Landon in the gut to stop his momentum. Only momentarily however, as King swings and misses with a clothesline, before turning back around into a boot and getting planted face-first with a DDT!

"DDT!" Comet exclaims in unison with King's face hitting the mat.

"That's ok...that's ok, King'll be alright."

"You know, a few days ago you'd be out of your seat cheering at something like that from Maddix."

"Times change."

Unable to capitalise on his last move, Maddix remains stuck to the mat with his leg lying limp. Meanwhile, King is able to get to his hands and knees, shaking off the effects of the DDT, despite the yelling of Kelly Connelly increasing his headache. King pulls himself the rest of the way up, just as Maddix begins to pull himself, albeit on one good leg. With both men up, Soapdish realises he hadn't bothered to start a count...but pretends he did anyway, before giving the signal for the two to 'get it on'. Stunned, King falls back into the ropes but comes straight back, looking to take Maddix out with a clothesline...

*SLAP!*

"WHOOOO!"

...but gets, you guessed it, a knifedge chop. King stalls for a second, allowing Maddix to wrap a side headlock onto the challenger, only for Max to quickly push the ICTV Champion off into the ropes. Landon, despite the bad knee, runs back and ducks a back elbow from King and stops behind him. King wheels around, as Maddix crouches down looking to spring up with a Dropsault. But his knee can't provide the spring and he continues crouching to attend to it, leaving him wide open for a swinging neckbreaker by King! And quickly, King follows up the neckbreaker with a lateral press...

ONE!

TWO!

SHOULDERUP!

"That was a mistake." sighs Comet.

"Big one. You see, that's why I don't like Landon Maddix..."

"...anymore..."

"...he's too pig-headed. I've always said so." Riley states.

King gets back to his feet and casts a glare Soapdish's way, which is nothing compared to the look of pure hatred Kelly flashes towards him. Meanwhile, Landon starts to pull himself to his feet. But he takes a big elbow across the shoulder blades to flatten him to the mat once more. Maddix doggedly fights back up, but King nails another elbow across the back to drop him. Suddenly though, King attention is diverted from the ring and towards the stage...some of the crowd have begun cheering and a murmering fills the air, as everybody looks to where someone has stepped through the curtains...

...MANSON!

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

"What the hell is HE doing out here!?!" snaps Riley as the crowd pop.

"I don't know, but we do know that Manson has no love lost for King. After all, King played a big part in Manson losing the USJL Championship."

"That doesn't explain what the hell HE is doing out here!"

King turns away from Maddix and points a threatening finger towards Manson...which proves to be a mistake, as Maddix reaches up and takes King over with a schoolboy roll-up...

ONE!

TWO!

THR..NONONO!! TWOONLY!

The crowd let out a sigh of what seems to be disappointment, as King rolls out of the hold and to his feet. Backing into the ropes, King comes back looking to take Maddix's head off with a boot but Maddix ducks and somehow finds the strength to hit the ropes, shooting back with a flying forearm to the jaw! Down goes King...and down stays Maddix, having re-aggravated his knee with the burst of speed.

"And again, Maddix insists on using the flashy rubbish." says Riley in disgust. "And again, he pays for it."

Again, Max King is able to get to his feet first but is slightly unsteady on his feet. Meanwhile Maddix grabs the top and middle ropes with whitened knuckles, pulling himself from the mat to his feet. King moves over quickly though, not allowing Maddix time to think and lamping him with a right hand to stagger him into the corner...

*SLAP!*

"WHOOOO!"

...where he returns a favour, with a knifedge chop. The air rushes from Maddix's lungs, as King grabs him by the arm and irish whips Landon towards the opposite corner of the ring. Landon finds himself unable to stop himself, until he reaches the corner and gets his hands up to stop himself, quickly pulling himself onto the middle rope. Meanwhile King runs in after Maddix, looking to hit a left handed clothesline, which Maddix blocks. King thinks quickly and goes for a right handed punch, but Maddix blocks that too before sending King's spit flying with a stinging punch of his own!

"SHAZZAM~!" is all Comet can manage.

The punch dazes Max, long enough for Maddix to reach forward and grab the challenger in Crash Landon position. But King knows exactly what's coming and just as the crowd begin to react, he smashes Maddix with punch to the ribs with his free arm...and another, causing Maddix to release King. King follows up with a big uppercut to Maddix, before turning away from the ICTV Champion and hooking a hand under each armpit. All Maddix can manage is a look of shock and a shake of the head, as King suddenly pulls Maddix off the ropes and flips him over, sitting out and driving the champion into the canvas!!!

"ICONOCLASM! Iconoclasm from The Icon!" Comet exclaims.

"What a fitting move to hit, eh?" chuckles Riley. "And what a fitting move to win the Intercontinental Television Title with!"

With Landon down and out in front of him, Max nods to Connelly before sliding around onto his side and hooks a leg, making the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUTATTWO!

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

Surprisingly, a large section of the crowd cheer as Maddix's shoulder shoots off the canvas. Meanwhile, King slams his hands on the canvas and Connelly yells at the "incompetent buffon" of a referee for not counting faster.

"A CLOSE two, and we were little more than half a second from a new ICTV Champion." Comet states with emphasis.

Getting back to his feet, King again notices Manson staring down the aisleway with a vested interest in the match taking place. Again the challenger's focus wanes and he points up towards Manson who puts on his best look of innocence...just as Megan Skye climbs onto the apron, blocking Manson and King's view of each other! King quickly moves his finger from Manson's direction to Megan's. Meanwhile on the outside, Kelly has seen enough and is striding around the ring like a woman possessed! Megan doesn't see it, continuing to distract King. Until that is Kelly reaches her, grabbing 'The Toddess' by the hell and tugging her off the apron...

*SMACK!*

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

...BUT GETS SLAPPED DOWN BY MEGAN!

"Oh my, what a SHOT!" Comet gasps as the crowd go wild.

King can't believe what he's seeing as his manager lays sprawled out on the concrete floor, holding her cheek as she looks up disbelievingly at Megan. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Maddix is up and trying to regain his bearings. King remains glaring down at Megan and up at Manson, periodically, until suddenly Maddix creeps up behind him and dropkicks King in the back...and the challenger sprawls forward, landing throat first across the middle rope!

"And you know what that means!"

With King in position Maddix begins to back up for a run to the ropes...but stops halfway across the ring and thinks better of it. Instead he charges from there, grabbing the middle and top ropes with a hand and swinging around towards King with the...

6...

0...

5...

...IT CONNECTS!

King flops backwards, off the ropes and into the ring. Meanwhile Maddix rolls from the apron into the ring, getting on top of King to make a rather desperate pinfall attempt...

ONE!

TWO!

TH...

KICKOUT!

The crowd let out a collective gasp, as if to say 'Wow, I actually thought Maddix would win from that flashy kick to the head thingy'...and apparantly Maddix agreed, as he makes his feelings known by questioning Nicky Soapdish's count.

"This match has descended into chaos!" Comet complains. "We have Manson on the ramp, the women throwing slaps, the referee arguing with the competitors. It almost makes you wish for the safe return of one Charlie Matthews!"

"Yeah, almost."

Getting back to his feet, Maddix finds himself unable to put full body-weight on his right knee. But all the same, he limps over to King and helps him up to his feet, before smashing him with a forearm strike. King absorbs the blow and nails one of his own. But before the match can get anywhere near 'Puro', Maddix quickly jabs King in the eyes...

...to a cheer from the crowd!?!

"...are these people cheering Maddix?" Riley asks in disbelief.

"They must have heard you don't like him anymore."

King clamps a hand over his eyes, as Maddix boots King in the gut as best possible and looks to hit another DDT. Despite his vision being impaired, King is able to shoot his body up and backbody drop Maddix out of the move. Landon lands on his feet, but in doing so tweaks his knee! And that allows Max to turn around and grab Maddix by the hair, pulling his head back and placing it in a reverse front facelock. Reaching forward, he hooks the leg up as well and seems to have Maddix set in position for the King Buster!

"OH! King Buster's coming!" gasps Riley. "If he hits this, it's a new champion...for sure this time!

And Megan knows it, looking on nervously as King stops for a moment to look for approval from Kelly, who has just about recovered from the slap. She wails at King to hit it, as he looks up at Manson and grins before hoisting "La Cucaracha" up into the air...

...but with too much force, and Maddix manages to flip over the back and lock King in a reverse front facelock! Now the tables have turned and it's Megan yelling at her man to hit the move quickly. Maddix takes a moment to stretch him arm out to the side before bringing it back around, dropping King to the mat and on the top of his head with the Landon Eye! King's head bounces off the canvas like one of Bobby Riley's cheques, as Landon flops back onto King with a makeshift cover.

ONE!

TWO!

"THREE!"

NOSHOULDERUPBYKING!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Ok...I will admit, this is rather bizzare." mumbles Comet. "These fans are..."

"Stupid! They're routing for a man that hates every single one of them!"

"Well, I'm not sure if that's really the case, but...yes, this is unexpected."

With a quick look towards Megan, Maddix seems to be looking for inspiration. But the first thing he sees is the deep, dark black eye that his good friend and manager is sporting. And that is all the 'inspiration' he needs, as suddenly he mounts the challenger and begins to fire away with a rapid series of furious right hands! King tries to get his hands up to block, but that proves futile as Maddix starts to add some lefts in with the rights for some variety.

"Citizen Maddix has burst into life! And you can bet that with every punch that connects with King's face, Maddix is imagining that it's a certain other King he's hitting!"

It seems that King has no answer to the sudden flurry from Maddix and the energy that he has found. But eventually, King sacrifices his good looks and reaches up to push Maddix to the side, and out to the apron. Quickly Landon pulls himself up on the apron as King gets back to his feet, a little dazed...and even more so as he walks into a forearm shot directly to the mouth! Yet another connects before Maddix finally reaches over the apron and drops to his back, looking to drop King across the top rope. But he doesn't take King with him, so gets quickly up...

*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOO!"

...and nearly gets chopped off the apron! Maddix manages to hang on, but flops across the top rope. King quickly locks on a front facelock and pops the hips, bringing Maddix back into the ring with a BIG vertical suplex! Now Maddix is down, again under the proverbial 'cosh'. Meanwhile King seems to have found that little bit extra and climbs quickly back to his feet, squinting slightly due to the splitting headache he now has, but still with enough to run a long, deliberating thumb across his throat.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Citizen King, calling for the end. We could be about to see a new ICTV Champion here!"

"See? Never doubt me Comet...never doubt me."

King grabs Maddix by the hair, slowly beginning to drag him up from the mat and to his feet.

"He hasn't won yet." sighs Comet.

"A matter of time..."

With Maddix up but unable to do anything but support his own weight, King pops him with a back elbow before pulling down "La Cucaracha"'s head into a standing headscissors position. Still Manson watches on from the rampway, quite content to stay out of the way, as King re-positions himself so that he is facing Manson. Lifting the thumbs up, King dramatically turns his hand and gives Maddix the oh-so symbolic thumbs down, before lifting Maddix's feet off the floor and looking set for a piledriver. But he doesn't reckon on the ICTV Champion's agility, as he manages to push himself further upwards than King would have liked and take the two hundred and fifty pounder over with a gorgeous Hurri-Lanrana, SPIKING King on his head!

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

Again the crowd, for some reason, go wild as King ends up in a seated position...no clue as to where he is. Kelly is just feet away from him yelling instructions, but King's head simply slumps forward and she curses.

"A matter of time, eh Robert?"

"Shut your piehole!"

Maddix, tries to get up...but by now his knee is, excuse the pun, on it's last legs. Still he tries, but finds himself unable to get to his feet without any pain. So instead Maddix rolls into a seated position and starts to shuffle towards King, inch by inch, until he's sat right behind him in a position that you're more likely to spot in the 'Karma Sutra' than 'Wrestling 101'. Wearily, King senses Maddix's position and shoots back a back elbow, but Maddix weaves out of it's way. Just as quickly though, he ducks back in and grabs a hold of King's head...trapping it under one arm as he traps King's arm under the other, locking him into a dragon sleeper!

"Woah! Wait a second...this could be a submission attempt right here..." Comet exclaims. "We know that the Land Of Nod can put people away, and it looks like that's what Maddix is going for!"

"Bah! He'll never get it on King, not from this position!"

Indeed, all it is now is a conventional dragon sleeper...which is by no means a weak move, as King knows. Almost immediately he tries to slide an arm in between Maddix's wrist and his throat. But Maddix isn't satisfied though and begins to try and turn, leaning his body towards the left. King forgets about trying to free himself and concentrates on not being turned, all the while the dragon sleeper seeming to weaken King. All Kelly can do is watch on nervously, as Landon continues to lean towards the left without much success...

...but suddenly he shoots to the right, using King's momentum against him...

...and he manages to turn King onto his front and into the Dragon Clutch!!!

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"He's got it on now! The Land Of Nod is locked in!" booms Comet. "And LISTEN to the crowd erupt! This is purely bizzare to hear this again...the crowd, cheering for Citizen Maddix!"

With all of Maddix's body weight on his back and his head being wrenched back, King looks to be in big trouble now! And Kelly Connelly knows it, holding her head in her hands as she sees King instantly starting to slip into slumber land! Anxiously she begins to scream at King, pleading with him to hold on...as meanwhile, Megan Skye is grinning away at the turn of events, as is Manson from the rampway. Realising he's in trouble, King decides that powering out of the move is his only option and plants his hands on the canvas, as he looks to push up onto all fours. But, Maddix springs off his good left leg and brings all his weight crashing down into the base of King's spine, dropping him back onto his front while all the while clinging onto the dragon sleeper part of the move...

...as suddenly Kelly Connelly has seen enough and begins to try and scramble into the ring! But, quick as a flash, Megan Skye scuttles around the ring and manages to grab Connelly by the leg before she can interfere...

*TAP TAP TAP!*

*DING DING DING!*

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

...as King can take no more, and taps out, to the delight of the Oklahoma crowd!!!

"It's OVER!" booms Comet. "Landon Maddix has retained his ICTV Title, despite all his recent trials tribulations! What an effort from him!"

Maddix, hearing the bell, releases the hold and breathes a visable sigh of relief as Megan slides into the ring past Kelly, giving her charge an instinctive hug.

"Here is your winner of the match, by submission...and STILL SWF Intercontinental Television Champion! LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MAAAAAADDIIIIIIIXXXXXXX!!!"

"Megalomaniac" hits and into the ring slides the SWF ICTV Championship belt, which makes it's way past King and into the hands of Maddix. Quickly Maddix and Megan roll from the ring, continuing their celebrations out on the floor...whilst in the ring, Kelly checks to see if King is ok, before giving Soapdish a few choice words.

"Maddix had better be careful of all these enemies he's making! First Suicide King...now Kelly Connelly. What is it with him and SWF owners?"

"She's not...nevermind. All that matters is Landon Maddix has retained his championship, with an impressive display despite the odds. Take nothing away from Max King...he gave the champion a real run for his money, but tonight was not his night. And I hope the other King, the Suicide King, was watching this."

With his head in his hands, a woozy looking King rolls off his back and looks up the ramp...to see Maddix raising the ICTV Championship high in the air, and Manson in the background, grinning down at King like a chesire cat...before clamming his hands furiously into the canvas and cursing angrily. Meanwhile, the camera cuts to the ramp where Maddix is looking out to the crowd, slightly confused to the reception he's getting, but certainly not confused as to the one word on his mind.

"King."

August 26, 2004

Good show everyone, although I think there were a few too many no show wins. Particular kudos to Max King's losing effort which I encourage you all to read if he posts it. He beat Landon in some key areas, particularly move sequences and pacing, but Landon's superior leg psychology just beat him out.

LOCKDOWN! FOR AUGUST 25TH!

Recommended Posts

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

Create an account

Sign in

Browse

Activity