LOOOOOOOOOOOCKDOOOOOOOWN!!!!!!!!!&

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

Riley: "I'm excited!"

 

Comet: "Me too!"

 

Riley: "Here we go!"

 

The Smartmarks wrestling Federation presents...

SWF LOCKDOWN, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8TH (GUILTY GEAR X2#RELOAD DAY!), LIVE FROM THE GUND ARENA IN CLEVELAND, OHIO!

(5:00pm PCT, 8:00pm EST; check local listings)

 

Opening Promo: Ace Lezaire

 

PRE-GENESIS 6-MAN ELIMINATION MATCH

Toxxic, “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins, & Ace Lezaire vs David Cross, Manson, & Dace Night

With Genesis just around the corner, big matches are sure to happen on a special Sunday. But why can’t they happen now? Here’s one that will send the crowd home happy. Unless Spike wins and they get pissed and throw garbage. Just kidding Spike. You know I love you.

Rules: DQ and countout apply. Survivor Series rules, tags and eliminations and all that.

 

ICTV TITLE REMATCH

The Masked Man vs Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix©

This match is happening again, due to a lot of fourth wall stuff that telling you here would break the illusion that we’re all not really wrestlers.

Rules: Singles match, DQ and countout apply.

 

MUTHA’ ****’N OLD SCHOOL MATCH

Jamie Drazon vs “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens

AWWWWW YEEEAAA, We kickin’ it old school up in this Geezy (Gund) fo’ sheezy with two people that knew how to rock it and roll it and they ain’t got to poll it to know it.

Rules: Singles match, DQ and countout apply.

 

CRUSIERWEIGHT MATCH

The Birdman vs Tom Flesher

With Ryan Dustin On Commentary

Ryan Dustin will join our dynamic duo and call this match. But will he be able to stay in his seat, or take an opportunity to soften the champion up?

Rules: Singles match, DQ and countout apply. Dustin may write a match if he feels like it.

 

SUBMISSIONS MATCH

“The Icon” Max King vs Todd Cortez

Max King tunes up the band in preparation for Genesis, and he goes one on one with the Urban Legend.

Rules: Submissionly only, no pinfalls.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Mike Van Siclen vs Sean Davis

This match was cancelled on Storm due to inclement weather. ...yeah. Let’s try it again.

Rules: Singles match, DQ and countout apply.

 

HARDCORE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH

Austin Sly vs Candace

These two will face off in a hardcore match for a shot at that sweet title we used to call the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship, which was cool because I’M A HARDCORE GAMER, BABY.

Rules: None, really

 

PLEASE WRITE A MATCH

Bryan Levy vs Munich

Please please please.

Rules: Singles match, DQ and countout apply.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

Five…

 

 

Four…

 

 

Three…

 

 

Two…

 

 

One…

 

…

 

The countdown reaches zero, as a blinding flash fills the screen and blinds all who view it at home. That is out aim, at least. The opening video package begins to play, with World Champion Johnny Dangerous, the Straight-Edge Sensation, Landon Maddix, Tom Flesher, Dace Night, the list goes on and on…

 

That is, until the picture begins to distort and flicker in an eerily similar fashion. The resounding boos from the capacity crowd can already be heard as the picture turns black and white, before the picture finally returns to normal and we first catch a glimpse of…

 

…Ace Lezaire.

 

“Welcome, to ALL my adoring fans!”

 

The crowd, however, are not adoring fans of the Canadian Superstar, and let him know that, but no matter what, Ace keeps on smiling, patting the United States Junior League title slung over his shoulder.

 

“Y’know, they said I couldn’t do it… they said I would never amount to anything in this federation, but I have my faithful believers who have stuck by me through thick and thin, like you, the fans!”

 

Again, the crowd drowns out the building with spiteful jeers, but they only serve to make Lezaire even happier.

 

“Don’t worry, I know what you REALLY mean,” he says, winking to the camera and giving a thumbs up, Steve’s head coming into picture from behind the camera, shaking his head with a look of resignation on his face.

 

“I appreciate your love and support, I really do, but now I prepare for bigger things. I’ve come to accept the fact, over many sleepless nights, that… I’m just so much better than all of you, the commoners, as I like to call you…”

 

This REALLY keeps up the fans skin, but they can’t stop Lezaire from hijacking Storm for his own twisted, egomaniacal plans. “You’ve all been wonderful, but now, it’s time for me to reach greater heights, because me star is shining brightly and my stock is on the rise!”

 

“And it’s all thanks to this… my title.” Yet more boos break out as they watch Lezaire pet his title as if it were a lover. “I’ll give it to him, David Cross put up one hell of a fight, but even he had to succumb… to perfection.”

 

“But I digress… my true intention is not to grace you all with my mere presence, no no. I’m here on official business… you see, I just spoke with a man almost as dashing as I… the Suicide King.”

 

Hearing the former Champion’s name almost causes a riot as the fans all stand up as one, wondering what important business he’s talking about.

 

“And I said to him, ‘Kingo’ … I call him Kingo, were like brothers after all… ‘Kingo old buddy,’ I said, ‘having this title is all well and good, but it just doesn’t have that indescribable element that that makes it a true mark of excellence. It needs an injection of perfection, a true stamp of approval from Ace Lezaire himself, and Kingo’ I said ‘ I know just what it needs…’ so, Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls, may I introduce to you…”

 

“…My new Canadian Championship.”

 

The announcement, honestly, falls flat on its face, the fans expecting so much more, but the thought of their neighbors up north having an SWF title is too much to bear!

 

Lezaire seems delighted with his work. “I knew you’d all be happy for me, after all, I was too good for the Junior League, they said. I’m a star, gosh darn it! And nothing’s gonna stop me now!”

 

“…I’m gonna make it after all!”

 

The scene fades out with Lezaire throwing his hat high into the air, until the picture turns completely black… before the cameras in the main arena switch on, showing the thousands on thousands of rabid fans, already eager for this show to get underway!

 

Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley, on the other hand, are dumbfounded.

 

“That was…” Comet begins to say, trying to find the right words…

 

… And Riley knows exactly what to say…

 

“Perfect.”

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

Levy and Munich are both in the ring!

 

But look, there's E. HONDA!!!

 

HUNDRED HAND SLAP AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN OH GOD!

Edited September 9, 2004 by realitycheck

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

The camera comes back into focus on the SWF commissioner’s golden plate hung on the door. A hand turns into view as the hand flips it upside down before sarcastically snickering, “Anarchy.” The hand then grabs the doorway as the camera pulls back- revealing an unknown man. He’s tall, very attractive, striking green eyes, a cocky grin, black t-shirt and blue jeans, a well built body that posture oozes confidence. His black hair is unkempt but pushed forward with some gel, his sideburns glaring at the camera due to his profile. He begins to open the door before he hears a loud grunt. With a sigh he cracks his knuckles before rapping an obnoxious throng of knocks on the door.

 

“Who is it?” A very frustrated voice says.

 

“Guess who?” The man demands.

 

“Just come in,” Zed demands.

 

The man slumps and sighs. “I thought you Carnies were meant to be party animals,” he whines before beginning another solo with the knocking.

 

“Just open the damn door!”

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” He questions with a snicker before opening the door.

 

The SWF commissioner’s office is an absolute wreck and it’s apparent this show has caused chaos for Zed. His desk is cluttered, papers surround the overflowing trash bin, the liquor cabinet empty (but he recalled seeing Levy having the schedule before), and Zed’s face is weary.

 

“I didn’t realize Hurricane Frances would hit us all the way in,” the man pauses, “wherever we are.”

 

Immediately the commissioner isn’t pleased. “You’re Danny Dagda?”

 

“Yes, the one and only,” Danny says antagonizing before slowing putting out a hand towards Zed.

 

He leans forward to meet the hand in common courtesy but instead Dagda just snatches the large gulp from Zed’s desk and helps himself. He snickers to himself before innocently putting it back down. Zennon stares up in total disbelief.

 

Slowly a huge grin spreads across the man’s face. “Sorry I ran into Jamie and Levy, I think we hot boxed the boiler room,” he jokes as he falls into the chair near Alex’s desk. He takes the liberty to use his black skate shoe to sweep away the papers in his way before resting his feet up. The commissioner slaps them off and grunts. Danny mumbles an apology before pausing, shifting his eyes cautiously, and then throwing his feet right back on the desk.

 

“Off!” Zennon barks.

 

“Yeah, alright, alright, fine,” Danny spits back as he takes his feet down. Within a second he throws his feet right back on the desk.

 

“Go! Now!” The commissioner roars as Dagda laughs hysterically.

 

“Oh God, if you were Zyndey Zky I’d say that was hot!” Dagda says with a smirk and just to be cautious he ducks. He reaches into his jeans and pulls out a cigarette and Zippo. “Smoke?”

 

“What? Oh, no,” Zennon says as he watches Danny flip off the top of the silver Zippo. He begins snapping his fingers at it while the commissioner stares in interest.

 

“Didn’t your mother ever say it’s impolite to stare? Or feet on furniture?” Danny asks while putting his feet back on, continuing to snap at the Zippo. “Ever seen that movie, ‘Reservoir Dogs?’”

 

The commissioner’s taking aback from the question. “Yes…”

 

“Know how Mr. White always lights his lighter?” He asks as he keeps snapping obnoxiously.

 

“Yes…”

 

“Oh, well, I can’t do that,” he laughs as he just flicks it down and lights the cigarette.

 

“…You have speechless,”

 

“Well, Christ, aren’t I good?” Danny sarcastically says. “If you say something doesn’t that mean you’re not speechless? I mean if I said ‘Hey, I can’t breathe’ then it means I have the oxygen to say that, therefore I’m breathing.” Danny pauses and pulls smoke right at Zed’s face. “Follow?”

 

“Well the urge to choke you is quite fond,” Zed rebuttals in frustration.

 

Danny stands up with a huge smirk. “Listen, kid, once you get off the rag- come find me. I want to be booked.” With that he leans over to the paper Zennon’s working on and crushes the lit cigarette over it, making the paper burn. “Thanks.” While the awkward silence fills the room Dagda swiftly leaves but pokes his head back in, blowing a sarcastic kiss to Zed before heading out.

 

The commissioner fumbles for his Tums and Advil bottle, grinding both medicines down in his rage. “Where’s Ebony? She might have a match tonight…” He says with a sigh.

 

-Starwipe~!-

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

"We're back from commercial citizens, and it looks like Candace has already made her way into the ring! How'd that happen?"

 

"No one will ever know, Comet." Riley says confidently. "I bet it involved magic, though."

 

"Magic, Riley?" Comet asks his partner.

 

"She's a witch! Burn her!"

 

"There must be a more reasonable explanation than that, Riley. Something like... say... the production crew decided it would be necessary to rush the show along a little and had Citizen Candace enter the ring during the commercials to save time." Comet explains.

 

"..."

 

"Yes, Riley?"

 

"She's a witch! Burn her!" Riley screams.

 

Riley's voice suddenly becomes irrelevant as the entire arena is drenched in dark blue light. The sound of an acoustic guitar floats through the air. The fans in the Gund Arena stand up and show support for the young man from St. Louis as Austin Sly emerges from behind the curtains. He slowly walks to the edge of the stage before beginning his pre-match stretches. Funyon announces his arrival.

 

"Making his way to the ring from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds, Austin Sly!"

 

Austin jumps up onto the ring apron and promptly hooks his arm over the top rope. He turns his head and scans through the arena, not focusing on anyone or anything, just soaking in the atmosphere. He turns his attention back to the ring and across to Candace before entering between the middle ropes.

 

"Now while I tend to hate both of these two equally, nothing would please me more than to watch them tear the hell out of each other tonight!" Riley says with joy.

 

"Behave yourself Riley! Now while these two citizens are being pitted against each other in a hardcore match, we should think of it as more of an epic battle for supremacy, and not just a simple blood sport!"

 

"Blood sport! Blood sport! Blood sport!" Riley chants.

 

Candace and Austin stand in the ring listening to referee Nick Riviera explain the... erm... "rules" of the match. Both competitors seem to ignore him though, as Austin bores a hole through Candace (in a non-sexual way, of course). Candace just stares right back at her opponent, trying not to let her concentration be broken by the man three years her elder. Once it becomes painfully obvious that Nick has neither wrestler's attention, he just calls for the ring bell to start the match.

 

Ding ding ding!!

 

Austin stands in front of Candace, but doesn't make a move to swing at her. Instead he simply taunts Candace in an effort to get her to make the first move. After a little hesitation, Candace leaps in the air sending a spinning heel kick soaring towards Austin's face, only to have it ducked by the more-than-prepared ring veteran. This leaves a clear opportunity for Austin as he quickly locks his arms around Candace's waist and sends her flying over his head and onto her back with a snap suplex. The Joshi Dragon jumps back up to her feet only to receive a quick knee to her stomach that bends her over. Austin takes a step back before launching himself into the air trying to nail the back of his opponent's head with a scissor kick. She quickly rolls out of the way though! Candace jumps out of the roll onto the middle rope in order to springboard back off of it, but Austin follows her closely and catches her on his shoulder as she comes off the rope! Sly hesitates for a second before grabbing Candace's legs and slinging her off his shoulder and to the mat, landing hard on her back. Having knocked the wind out of his opponent, Austin quickly rolls out of the ring to search for some hardcore goodies. The fans begin to cheer at even the slightest implication of a weapon.

 

"A quick opening exchange, and now Citizen Sly is already searching the outside of the ring for a weapon of some sort!" Comet comments happily.

 

"For once I'm going to have to join your pleasant optimism, Comet. I can't wait to see what Austin hits this women with first."

 

Austin immediately begins searching under the ring for any tool of destruction, emerging first with a steel folding chair. He pulls it out to a cheer from the audience, but decides to bypass it in favor of searching for a better choice. He slides the chair into the ring before disappearing again under the ring. Austin re-emerges this time with a long slender object wrapped inside of a blanket. He sits this object in the ring before climbing back in himself. As he turns to unwrap the blanket, Candace cuts him off at the pass with a thundering chair shot that sends him tumbling to the mat. Austin tries to shake off the effect of the chair shot, but as he climbs back to his feet he receives another shot, this time to the head. The force of the blow sends him tumbling backwards and through the ropes back to the outside of the ring.

 

"It seems that both citizens know exactly what's at stake here and are pulling out no stops! There's a lot on the line for both people in this match!" Comet squeals with excitement.

 

"Really, Comet? How so?" Riley's words drip with sarcasm.

 

"For Citizen Sly, it's a chance to prove that his title win against Johnny Dangerous wasn't simply a fluke happening, and possibly right the wrongs that he's had to endure over the past month! For Candace, it's a chance to prove that she can win with or without Frisco! This isn't just a match to decide who gets a shot at Sean Davis, oh no, this goes much deeper than that."

 

Candace doesn't waste any time before searching the blanket to discover what exactly Austin had found important enough to draw him back into the ring. When she unfolds the wrapping, though, she's a little drawn back by what she has found. Candace curiously grabs one of the objects and lifts it into the air to reveal a light tube! The camera pans around to the side of the ring to reveal that in front of Candace lies four more identical tubes, all in perfect condition. The Joshi Dragon clutches tightly to her new found toy, before stepping cautiously through the ropes onto the outside of the ring. She quietly hops down to the outside floor near where Austin is trying to pull himself back to his feet. He stumbles haphazardly to the side of the ring where he quickly grabs one of the ring posts from the outside to help support himself. Candace takes this opportunity to wind back and swing the light tube at Austin's face!

 

Crash!

 

She only connects with the ring post! Austin drops down to his knee to avoid the shot and cover his head as the glass from the light tube shatters and flies into the air causing a rain of glass shards to fall around that corner of the ring.

 

"If Candace would've connected with that shot, I have to believe that the match would already be over! What a lucky break for Citizen Sly! Now lets see if he can capitalize on it." Comet notes.

 

"Blood sport!" Riley simply yells.

 

Austin shoves off the mat with his knee sending his shoulder sailing into the midsection of Candace. He charges with her on his shoulder carrying her across the outside of the ring and into the fan barrier! The former Cruiserweight champion has forgotten one thing though, the fact that Candace still holds the end of the light tube in her hand, broken glass and all. As Austin leans his body back to drive his shoulder into Candace's stomach again, Candace takes a wild swing with the chunk of glass and connects with Austin's left arm slicing his flesh open. Austin screams out in pain as he grabs his arm and turns away from the Joshi Dragon. While gritting his teeth in pain, Austin quickly rolls into the ring trying to escape his attacker. Candace wants none of this though, she has to keep pressure on her larger opponent if she hopes to win this match. Taking her first big risk of the night, Candace climbs onto the side of the ring before jumping onto the top rope and launching herself at Austin with a springboard dropkick. She connects, sending him down to the mat with a thud! Candace quickly crawls on top of Austin for the first pin attempt of the night.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

No! Austin kicks out before referee Nick Riviera can bring his hand down again for the three count. Candace disappointedly slaps the ground, but she doesn't worry about it for long, climbing back to her feet without trying another quick pin attempt.

 

"Candace pulled out a high risk maneuver and it almost paid off with the right to face Sean Davis for the title most likely at Genesis! How big would it be for this young woman to go into the biggest pay-per-view of them all with a shot to walk out with the Hardcore title?" Comet says gleefully.

 

"What would be the chances of Candace beating a man like Sean Davis, Comet? Even before joining forces with Toxxic in Revolution Zero, Davis would've been too much man for her to handle." Riley sneers at Comet.

 

With a smile, Candace casually reaches her hand into the front of her skirt much to the chagrin of all the men at ringside. Her hand re-emerges quickly though with a pair of brass knuckles in it. She slowly puts her fingers through the holes, expecting no resistance from Austin who has just now climbed back to his knees obviously still wincing with pain in his arm. He's quickly sent back to the mat though as the brass-laden fist soars into his forehead. Once again as if she has nothing but time in the world, Candace removes the weapon from her fist and carelessly tosses it down to the mat. A slight trickle of blood rolls off of Austin's forehead and down to the mat as he lies helplessly on his back. Candace drops to her knees before falling back across Austin's body. Referee Nick Riviera is right on time for the count once again.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

Three!

 

 

Nooooooooo! Austin kicks out at the last moment! The fans in the Gund Arena go insane as Sly somehow finds a way to power his way out of the pin! Candace looks around in amazement, almost sure that she had signed her ticket to Genesis! The Joshi Dragon quickly climbs on top of Austin and begins sending right hand after right hand soaring into the open wound on Austin's forehead, trying to open it up as far as she can as fast as she can. Sly fights out the only way he knows how, sending his hand raking across Candace's eyes!

 

"Eye rake!" Riley yells, "you support this, Comet?"

 

"While it may not have been my first choice, it's certainly a legal move in this environment! Citizen Sly is fighting for his life at this moment!"

 

Candace grabs her face as she jumps up to her feet and off of Austin. Free for a few moments, Sly rolls over and out of the ring in an effort to put a little distance between himself and Candace. He has a hard time standing though, as he stumbles to the fan barrier in order to support himself. He leans back against the wall panting with fans reaching around to slap his back, enough blood leaking from his head to make Markus Cirillo proud, but still with a look of determination in his eyes and a smirk on his face. Austin drops to his knees and crawls to the ring once again, searching under the ring for something very specific. He digs deeper under the ring, leaving just his legs exposed to the outside world. Inside the ring, Candace quickly recovers from the shock of what just happened, and rolls out of the ring to try and find her opponent. She quickly finds him, and grabs a firm hold on his foot before trying to pull him out from beneath the ring. Austin re-emerges without much of a struggle only to send his free foot soaring into Candace's forehead sending her teetering back away from him. In one quick motion, Austin climbs back to his feet before pulling his prized possession free from beneath the ring to great praise from the fans at ringside!

 

"It's that damn weedwacker! Austin has Dace's weedwacker!" Riley yells in shock.

 

Brrrrr-brr-brr-brrrrr!

 

Austin pulls back on the starter cord bringing the yard-beast to life, causing Candace's eyes to open wide enough to drive a truck through. Sly simply holds the device above his head drawing even more appreciation from the fans.

 

"Dace F'n Night!"

 

"Dace F'n Night!"

 

"Dace F'n Night!"

 

Candace takes advantage of this lovely moment of shared respect for a Horrorcore legend and a Hardcore apprentice to run like hell! Austin gives chase, but Candace is just a little too fast for him and makes her way around the ring and quickly slides under the bottom rope. Austin takes a slice at her leg as she slides in, but only connects with the bottom ring rope, fraying it. Candace grabs up the steel chair that she'd used in the match earlier as protection before motioning for Austin to get in the ring. On the outside of the ring, Austin revs back the weedwacker before motioning for Candace to join him with a smirk on his face. He quickly realizes that the match is going no where with the two of them separated, he cautiously puts the weedwacker in first and then climbs under the bottom rope. It doesn't seem that the Joshi Dragon had planned this far ahead though as she drops the chair and scatters out the opposite side of the ring and ducks down beside it. Austin charges across the ring and leans the weedwacker over the top rope first. Candace shoots back up and takes a slight scrape from one of the blades before plucking Sly's feet out from under him, causing him to fall backwards onto the canvas. The weedwacker bounces out of Austin's hands when he hits the mat and slides free from both competitors. Candace enters into the ring under the bottom rope before reaching around to check her back. The strap on her shirt has been broken and there's a red mark on her back, but not much damage. Referee Nick Riviera takes this free moment to remove the motorized instrument of death from the ring, earning him some heat from the fans.

 

"Citizen Candace saved herself there! We can only imagine what might've happened if Citizen Sly really got after her with that weedwacker." Comet notes.

 

"I only wish that Austin would've really gotten after her with that weedwacker. I can't help but feel a little cheated now." Riley moans.

 

Inside the ring, Austin struggles to climb to his feet now that his adrenaline burst has been depleted. Candace has no problems moving though and quickly leaps on Austin trying to keep her larger opponent down. The Joshi Dragon sends two quick kicks into Austin's side before going for a knockout blow with a spinning heel kick to his face. The veteran Sly ducks it once again though! With Candace off-guard, Austin gathers his strength and belly to belly suplexes his opponent into the air. Candace lands hard on the steel chair that had been left in the ring by her earlier! Austin drops to his knee before running his hand back through his hair, trying to calm himself and wipe a lot of the blood free from his forehead.

 

"It looks like this might be the start of a brand new match, Riley! Both competitors are hurting, now it's up to whoever can gather the strength to take advantage of this situation and possibly win the match!" Comet says.

 

"Blood sport! Blood sport! Blood sport!" Riley chants again.

 

Austin uses his good arm to help shove himself back up off the mat and to his feet, while Candace uses the ropes to her advantage to get up again quickly. Candace scoops up the steel chair that she landed on, but before she can take a swing with it, Austin comes charging in spears her causing her to drop the chair and both competitors to tumble out of the ring! The fans at ringside acknowledge this with a cheer and a little "Ho-lee shit!" chant.

 

"It seems like these two can't stay inside of the ring tonight," Riley notes. "Hopefully they grab a few more weapons to hurt each other with while they're out there!"

 

Indeed Austin does quickly go searching underneath the ring for a few more weapons. He re-emerges with a fire extinguisher in his hand that he rolls into the ring. He closely follows it in, but turns his attention back to ringside where Candace is still trying to climb back to her feet. Austin casually walks over to the ropes before leaping up and onto the top rope, and then springboarding off towards his opponent! No one is home though, as Austin comes crashing down to the mat with a thud! Candace grabs Austin by the back of his hair and drags him back to the ring before rolling him in under the bottom rope. Candace climbs up the ring steps and enters into the ring through the ropes before making a b-line straight for the fire extinguisher. Austin slowly crawls on the mat, trying to make it to his precious light tubes that he brought in to the ring when the match had just begun, but he's cut off when Candace decides to let the contents of the fire extinguisher fly in his direction! The whole scene becomes a cloud, and not even our ring announcers can tell what's going on.

 

"Can you see anything Riley?"

 

"No! All I can see is a cloud of smoke!"

 

"It's not really smoke, Riley. It's actually a chemical spray!"

 

"Shut up you Batman wanna-be!"

 

When the smoke clears, we see Candace standing in the ring with her foot in between Austin's legs trying to get just the right hold to lock in a sharpshooter! Austin struggles with her though, trying to move his legs and block with his arms any chance of ever getting locked in such a deadly hold. Candace gathers all of her strength and tries to roll him over again, but Austin blocks it with both of his arms! The Joshi Dragon keeps what bit of the hold she has locked on, but relaxes a little to try and make one final attempt at rolling Austin onto his stomach to fully lock in the move. With this opening, Austin reaches back and finally successfully grabs one of the light tubes free from the blanket, but it goes completely un-noticed by his competitor. Candace tries one last time to roll Austin over and finish the sharpshooter, but as Austin begins to turn over, he brings the light tube with him and introduces in to the side of Candace's face! She un-knowingly releases the hold and drops like a rock to the mat!

 

"I think Citizen Sly just knocked Candace out!" Comet yells, shocked.

 

"Blood sport! Blood sport! Blood sport!" Riley chants yet again.

 

With Candace down on the mat, Austin slowly crawls over to her and rolls her onto her back before covering her. Referee Nick Riviera drops down to count the pin.

 

One!

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three!

 

Ding ding ding!!

 

"Ladies and gentleman, your winner and new number one contender to the Hardcore Championship, Austin Sly!" Funyon announces.

 

Referee Riviera pulls Austin's arm up in the air to show he has won, as the fans begin to cheer for a match well done and a new number one contender. Austin slowly climbs to his feet, blood dripping off his arm and down his face, and stands in solitude to soak in the appreciation from his fans.

 

"He did it! Citizen Sly has taken another step towards restoring himself as a contender in this federation! Aren't you happy, Riley?" Comet squeals.

 

"Yay..." Riley mumbles quite apathetically.

 

Austin drops to his knees and rolls out of the ring before starting his climb up the ramp and out of the ring, while our show fades out to the next segment.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

SWF Lockdown comes back from commercial just in time to hear...

 

::CRACK::

 

"Born Bad" by the Gone Jackals blasts over the house PA and the fans in the Gund Arena go ballistic as "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens strolls out from behind the curtain! Moving slowly, clearly showing the aches and pains from the past few weeks, the Heavy Hitter works his way down the ring.

 

Comet: Ladies and gentlemen, we are back and look who has made his way to the ring!

 

Riley: Oh joy. Not only do I have to put up with watching him attempt to wrestle later tonight, but I have to listen to him talk? I must have been born under a bad sign...

 

Once in the ring, Grand Slam asks for, and receives, a microphone.

 

GSMS: For the last few weeks, I've been getting my ass handed to me night in and night out. Duran tried to crack my skull. Ace Lezaire treated me like a load of garbage. And, of course, last week Toxxic bounced me from pillar to post. Tonight I get the pleasure of facing off with a real hardcore legend, Jamie Drazon.

 

GSMS: Well let me tell you something boys and girls; I haven't had a month like this in a long, long time. And I have to say... I don't like it very much. So last week, after my match I had a little chat with the Commissioner, Alex Zenon about the status of my contract. We found out, much to my delight, that by the same fine print that brought me out of retirement I am only required to compete in a certain number of matches. And my friends, that number is down to four.

 

The crowd cheers, but unenthusiastically. They know this means he'll only be around a few more weeks.

 

GSMS: (laughing a little) I know, I know. You're a little disappointed you're not going to get to see me abused over the next few weeks. I understand that, but I promise, you'll get to see something you all want to see.

 

The crowd cheers a little more at that, but they are waiting. They know it is building to something.

 

GSMS: I asked Commissioner Zenon to make things right. And, as he is a man of his word, he is going to do just that. He managed to slide a contract past King. So, at Genesis V, where the Fed will be born again, there is going to be a little match.

 

GSMS: I'm going to have a match. I'll be teaming up with another man who has come to despise the Suicide King almost as much as I do... Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix!!

 

The crowd goes nuts now, wondering who the match will be against. In the ring, Grand Slam motions to them to calm down so he can finish telling them.

 

GSMS: It will be Maddix and I against the Suicide King and a partner of his choosing. He's screwed over enough people in the last few years, let's see if he can find anyone willing to be his partner.

 

The crowd cheers Grand Slam's apparent victory, but the cheers don't last long...

 

ALL ABOARD

HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA

 

The crowd just unleashes a torrent of abuse at the newly arrived Suicide King. The Gambling Man just stands there, soaking it in as his anthem slowly fades away.

 

King: Congratulations Mark! You and Z really put one over on me didn't you? You honestly think I'd let something like that slip past me? You really think I'm stupid enough to let you make this little match and not know about it? Mark Mark Mark Mark Mark.... I'd have thought you'd know better by now. I am a Gambling Man, but I leave nothing to chance. The only time you take a bet is if the cards are stacked in your favor.

 

GSMS: And I suppose that this was all part of your master plan? You wanted this match so you did all of this?

 

King: No, actually. You suprised me with the tag match Mark. I expected you to come after me one-on-one, let your pride get the best of you. But this will do. This will do nicely.

 

The crowd lets him have it again as Grand Slam tosses down the mic and starts to exit the ring.

 

King: No Mark, I suggest you stay right where you are. You have a match tonight and I don't want you to wear yourself out.

 

Grand Slam stops and backs into the ring, knowing that King has a very valid point. The Suicide King turns to leave, but stops and turns around, an evil smile on his face.

 

King: Oh, and I wouldn't worry yourself about my partner. I guarantee you'll be able to pencil him in before the night is over. In fact, I'd say you can bet on it, old man.

 

King leaves Grand Slam standing in the ring, slightly confused and wondering why, if he got the match he wanted, he feels like he's been trumped by King once again...

 

FADE

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

Fade in from commercial break.

 

The scene opens up directly focused on the Smarktron, which shows an image of the backstage of the infamous Gund Arena. The crowd inside the arena cheers as Mike Van Siclen appears in the corridor. He walks, presumably, toward the stage entrance. He rubs his wrist in preparation, before he's stopped by Ben Hardy!

 

"Mike Van Siclen! May I have a word?" asks Hardy.

 

"Which one would you like?" quips MVS.

 

Van Siclen's response garners a chuckle from Ben. "Are you feeling better? Ready to take on Sean Davis?"

 

Mike nods in response. "Yeah, thanks for asking. That chili sure tore me up. As far as Sean Davis goes.. he's not even worth working up a sweat."

 

As Van Siclen pauses, Cyclone Comet voices over, "The match was postponed due to Citizen Van Siclen's illness. It will take place tonight, here in Cleveland!"

 

Riley responds, "Davis can whoop Van Siclen anytime! I can't believe I used to like that guy!"

 

Mike continues, "As a whole, the Urban Empire will squash the Revolution of Zeroes. Individually, we'll do the same. Cortez tromped Jenkins on Storm, just like I'm going to walk all over Davis tonight." MVS raises a finger to make a point..

 

..but fails to get anything out before Sean Davis flies into view and tackles MVS to the concrete!!

 

"Blindside by Citizen Davis!"

 

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

The camera focuses on The Perfect Storm as he pounds his big fist onto Mike Van Siclen's head over and over and over again! Ben Hardy stands against the wall and inches away, but doesn't make it very far. Sean Davis stands and grabs the microphone from Hardy, then glares menacingly at the camera.

 

"Sean Davis doesn't need any match with Mike Van Siclen, or Todd Cortez, or the Masked Man to prove his superiority! In ring and out, Revolution Zero will overcome! Who's next?!"

 

Davis shoves the microphone back into Hardy's chest, then reaches down and picks up the dazed MVS. Sean whips Van Siclen headfirst through a door! He then grabs a steel pipe and jams the handle, effectively locking MVS in!

 

BOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

The crowd jeers again as the shot cuts away from backstage and focuses on the commentating team of Bobby Riley and Cyclone Comet.

 

"I don't expect anything but underhanded and dirty tactics from Revolution Zero.. but to not even fight in the ring.. that's just vile!" complains Comet.

 

"Vile? I see nothing wrong with it. MVS should have been looking for Davis!"

 

The lights in the arena dim and two streaks of pyro flash from ceiling to stage, exploding on either side of the entrance ramp! "F.E." by 40 Below Summer kicks up as flames light up, lining the stage. Sean Davis steps out to a sea of boos. He's followed by Marcus Washington.

 

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall!" announces Funyon. "Introducing first, from Jacksonville, Florida. Weighing in at two hundred and seventy pounds, accompanied by Marcus Washington and representing REVVVOLUTION ZEEEERO! THE PERFECT STOOOOOOOORM! SEEEEEAANN DAAAAAAAVIS!!"

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

"I can't believe there's still going to be a match! Citizen Van Siclen won't make it!"

 

"Easy win, says I," replies Riley.

 

Comet shoots back, "I bet you had a lot of those."

 

Davis enters the ring easily. "F.E." dies from the speakers, allowing a "Davis Sucks!" chant to come through.

 

I'm the head of the class.. I'm popular..

 

RAAAAAAAAAHH!!

 

"Popular" by Nada Surf kicks up to the cheers of the crowd. Pyro showers from the stage.. but Van Siclen is nowhere in sight. The crowd begins to quiet before they chant "MVS!"

 

"This is unreal, citizens. Citizen Van Siclen won't be able to make this match. He's still in the closet!"

 

"Where?"

 

After a good thirty seconds, Sean Davis smirks at the referee and shrugs his shoulders. "Popular" fades from the speakers.

 

BOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

MVS!

 

MVS!

 

MVS!

 

"The crowd here in Cleveland trying to rouse Citizen Van Siclen and get him to the ring. I don't think it's going to happen, folks," says Comet.

 

The referee calls Funyon over and converses softly with him. Funyon nods and raises the microphone, announcing to a displeased crowd, "This match has been declared a no contest!"

 

Davis rolls out of the ring and makes his way up the ramp, followed by Washington. "F.E" kicks up as he makes his way out of the arena.

 

Fade out.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

"Bitch" is playing throughout the arena as we come back from commercial, the crowd booing really loudly (despite some wolf-whistles as a comment to how gorgeous some people think she is) as the voluptuous redhead makes her way to the ring.

 

Funyon: The following contest is a special attraction submission match, scheduled for one fall. Making her way to the ring the manager, and self proclaimed future owner of SWF...KELLY...CONNELLY!

 

"And this can only mean good things coming up soon, Comet!" Riley is quick to note. "With the entrance of this woman, the hot stud she manages is going to be out VERY soon!"

 

"Words of wisdom from my partner..." Comet begins dryly. "But some of it is true, as we're about ready for a submission match requested by Max King...or was it Kelly that put the idea in King's head?"

 

"Does it really matter? The fact is that Max King is going to make an example of Todd Cortez tonight, as he shows him just exactly what he has planned for Manson at Genesis!"

 

Kelly slips through the ropes into the ring, passing by Funyon and grabbing the stick from him as she does, ready to do her favorite part of the job of being a manager.

 

"Cleveland, Ohio...you know that I'm the best thing that's come to this arena thus far!" Kelly begins, drawing out the negative reaction of the fans rather quickly. "And since I am the best, it's only natural that I bring out someone equally as good as I am in the looks department. So everyone give it up for the man that will show the world exactly what submissions are all about...a god among mortals...everyone give it up for my man, "THE ICON"...MAX...KING!"

 

BOOOOOM!

 

"Superstar" cues up over the speaker systems after the pyro goes off, and the crowd gives Max King the reaction that they think he deserves as he makes his way to the ring: a highly negative one. King walks to the ring with his head held up high, ignoring the reaction of the people to him.

 

"See, this is one of the many reasons that Max King is one of the greatest this company has to offer, Comet! The crowd is treating him with utter disrespect, and yet he just holds his head up high and proud!" Riley states. "I am loving what this guy can do in the ring!"

 

"Max King has done nothing really to warrant a positive reaction for himself, and you can bet he's going to get much of the same at Genesis when he goes up against Manson in that Submission Cage Match..."

 

With Kelly holding the ring ropes for him, King enters the ring with a smile on his face and walks to the center of the ring, holding his hands out to his side as Kelly rubs his sides a bit.

 

"...I am so envious of Kelly. She is lucky to have King's love..." Riley states.

 

Comet sighs. "No one wants to hear about your personal life, Riley...we have a match that we have to get to."

 

Almost immediately after Comet makes this comment, "Tres Delinquentes" cues up over the speakers, replacing the boos from the crowd with cheers by default as the Urban Legend makes his way out, standing on the stage with his arms crossed over his chest in an X position, before pounding his chest and making his walk down the ramp.

 

Funyon: And his opponent, from The Streets, weighing in at 226 pounds..."The Urban Legend"...TODD...CORTEZ!

 

"Todd Cortez has had to live a tough life, and that has brought him to this match today, one that could possibly be in his favor, as he has had to fight a lot of times in the streets." Comet notes.

 

"Ah, street fighting can't out last pure perfect wrestling like King has. Cortez doesn't know what exactly he's going to get himself into in this match." Riley comments proudly.

 

Todd Cortez climbs up onto the ring apron now, looking to the crowd before going to enter the ring, and as soon as he steps through the ropes, King is right there to nail him in the back of the head with a hard elbow strike, causing the referee to ring the bell and start the match prematurely!

 

"What a poor sport King is!" Comet notes, slight anger in his voice. "He doesn't even let Cortez get into the ring, attacking him before the bell rings!"

 

"Hey, Cortez IS a veteran of street fighting, he should be used to people jumping him without any warning like this!"

 

King grabs Cortez by his temples, pulling him in roughly and making sure that Cortez hits the mat face first, before diving in for a side headlock on the mat to wrench away at the neck of Cortez. Cortez manages to squirm a bit though, using his smaller body mass to move out of the hold and get back up onto his feet...kicking him right into the ribs to keep him down. Cortez goes to grab the arm of King to try and work on it, but King uses his free arm to nail Cortez in the gut, going to try to follow it up with a clothesline, but Cortez grabs the arm before it can hit him and wrings the arm down to the mat, pulling it back with a ground arm-bar...but King is too close to the ring ropes. King reaches with his free arm and grabs the ropes, pulling himself out of the ring and freeing himself of the hold, shaking out his arm to get the minor pain he's feeling with a surprised look on his face.

 

"Don’t let this get you down, King!" Riley calls out from the booth. "He just got lucky thus far!"

 

"You're not King's manager, Riley!" Comet comments. "Stop trying to act like it!"

 

Kelly goes over to King, talking to him outside of the ring for a bit, apparently the two of them talking strategy with each other. Cortez doesn't seem to like this though, as he slides out of the ring, running in between King and Kelly, and nailing King right in the jaw with a hard palm strike! King takes a few steps back, rubbing his jaw as he does, and starts to get clubbed between the shoulders by forearm shots by Cortez, the Urban Legend going back to some of his street-fighting roots in this match early on. Cortez turns King around, ducking down to sweep King of his feet with a nicely placed kick to the back of the legs. Cortez doesn't let up, going for a camel clutch on the outside of the ring now, but King gets to his knees before the move can be completely put in, pushing his body up to flip Cortez back onto the arena floor. King quickly pushes himself up to his feet, and scrapes his boot right across the face of Cortez while he's down on the arena floor.

 

"What a cheap move to use on Cortez!" Comet notes. "There was no call for something like that."

 

"Hey, it's no disqualifications in this match!" Riley reminds. "The ONLY way that you can win is by a submission!"

 

King shakes out some of the cobwebs that he has, grabbing Cortez by the hair now and using that to fling him into the ring under the bottom rope. King doesn't follow Cortez into the ring, however...instead, he grabs the leg of Cortez from the outside of the ring, dragging him all the way to the nearest ring post. King uses his strength to crotch Cortez into the ring post, causing a very visible pained expression to form on Cortez's face now. Not waiting one second, King figure fours Cortez's legs onto the post, pulling him into the hold as well.

 

"YES! What did I tell you, Comet? King knew exactly what he was doing, and now he's going to cause great damage to the body of Todd Cortez...just like he will to Manson at Genesis!"

 

"This move normally would get a disqualification, but in this match this move is as legal as a clothesline, so King can hold it on as long as he wants to!" Comet reminds the crowd as King continues to wrench away at the legs with the post Figure Four. After holding this move on for a good minute, yet still not getting a submission from Cortez, King decides to release the hold, Cortez pulling back and holding his leg in pain. King slides into the ring now, making sure to give the referee a piece of his mind before kicking at the hurting leg of Cortez once more. Kelly applauds this move, as King goes to grab the leg of Cortez once again. Cortez, however, uses his free leg to kick King right into the chest, pushing him away from his leg for now, giving the Urban Legend a chance to recover. Cortez takes this moment to reach towards the ankles of King, and with a hard pull, pulls King down to his back now, hobbling back up to his feet and now using his arms to grab the legs of King, trying to turn him over.

 

"Cortez seems to be going for a Boston Crab type move or something similar, but I don't know how wise a move that is with Cortez's leg hurt by that ring-post attack of King early on the match." Comet notes. Cortez continues to try to turn over King with the Boston Crab type move, but can't hold onto the move as his leg gives out on him.

 

"This is a great sign!" Riley almost beams. "This is a sign that Cortez won't be able to fight on in this match, and King will get to prove his point about what he's going to do to Manson at Genesis!"

 

Cortez, however, doesn't stop on the attack despite falling to the ground with his leg giving out, still holding onto the legs of King with his arms, and sitting down onto the lower back of King, pulling back with his arms with the hold! King winces and struggles at the hold, and the referee dives down to check on King, seeing if he will give up the match to Cortez!

 

"Don't give up King, there's a way to get out of this, you just have to figure it out!" Riley states. "I know you can get out of this hold King!"

 

"The match isn't looking that great right now for Max King, as Cortez is surprising him with his endurance with this sitting Boston Crab like move, making sure that his legs aren't hurt any more by putting his weight onto them."

 

King continues try to struggle out of the hold, and when he gets close enough to the ropes to grab them, pulling himself up with the ropes like a rope ladder, and when he grabs the top rope, pushes of with it, now sitting on the back of Cortez's head, going to grab his legs now to pull back onto them!

 

"That was a pretty good reversal by Max King there..." Comet notes after seeing this attempt. "Now he's on the attack again, and Cortez has a good amount of weight and pain put onto his body."

 

"King is such a smart man...it's only a matter of time before he wears gold in this company, Comet. I feel it in my bones!" Riley states.

 

"But that's not what this match is about, really. This match is about nothing more than trying to prove something, whatever King is trying to prove."

 

Cortez tries something really desperate as King continues to pull back onto the hold that he's got on. Using the flexibility in his body, Cortez swings his arm back as he bends himself back, nailing King right into his back with a hard elbow shot, causing King to have to release the hold, and Cortez crawls his way to the ropes.

 

"Cheap shot by Cortez if you ask me." Riley states. "He knew well and good that King would have made him tap out to that hold if he wasn't such a coward."

 

"Cortez is trying to win the match, Riley. Anything he does to try to escape from King's assault is a good move if you ask me."

 

King turns around to try to grab a hold of Cortez again, but Todd shows that he has enough bearing to get back to his feet with his good leg, pushing himself up and hitting King with a one legged dropkick, taking "The Icon" down to the mat! King rolls onto his chest as he gets knocked down, giving Cortez enough time to crawl as best he can up the ring ropes to the top, and using one leg to push off hits King into the back with his version of the Senton Bomb! Taking this chance, he dives in towards King's back with an elbow shot, continuing to focus his attacking onto the back of the 250 pound opponent. He then leans the elbow into King's back, driving it in and pressing his entire 226 pounds into King's back.

 

"Now it's very apparent what the focal point of the attacks of Cortez will be, as he's working away onto the..."

 

"Very toned." Riley quickly blurts in.

 

"...back of Max King, trying to injure the back as best he can! Perhaps Riley it was not that great of an idea for King to request this match, as he could get injured before Genesis comes about and get cost the victory that he's looking for."

 

"King's a tough man, Comet. There's no way that he's going to give up just by a simple elbow drive into the back. Besides, there's so many ways out of this situation that King only has to pick the best one and then he can take it to Cortez once again." Riley states.

 

Riley's words prove to be true enough shortly after he says them, as King reaches back and rakes the eyes of Cortez with the arm closest to his face. Cortez holds his face now, trying to get his vision back as soon as he can, but King rushes in and hits him with a knee right to the temple! King reaches and grabs the legs of Cortez once again, and this time, while fighting through the pain in his back, spins with the legs of Cortez and puts the Urban Legend into a Figure Four Leglock!

 

"YES! A classic submission for a classic wrestler like King! This is going to be great to see Cortez tap out to this move!" Riley cheers.

 

"This is one of the oldest holds in pro-wrestling, but yet is also a very effective one as well, as you can see on the face of Cortez!" Comet comments. "There is a way out of this, but the question is if Cortez knows how to."

 

King continues to pull away with the hold, moving his body with it so Cortez is as far away from the ring ropes as possible with King getting close enough to them. Kelly, seeing her chance, reaches under the bottom rope and grabs the arms of King, pulling him from the outside of the ring to add some more pressure to the submission and further pain to the legs of Todd Cortez! The referee notices Kelly holding onto the hold like this, and dives out of the ring to yell at her and order her to let go of the hold.

 

"What does this referee think he's doing?" Riley shouts. "This match is no-DQ! What she was doing was perfectly legal in this match!"

 

"It's a referee's discretion on what he allows, Riley, and apparently he's not going to allow Kelly to help her man cheat his way to a victory in this match!" Comet states.

 

While the referee is yelling at Kelly on the arena floor, King lets go of the figure four, much to the relief of both the fans and Todd Cortez, only to grab the leg of Cortez and starts to kick away at the back of the knee as well as the thigh, followed by swinging a hard punch right into it! King starts walking around now, massaging his back as he does, trying to get the kinks out of it now from the attacking that Cortez did to it earlier on in the match. Seeing Cortez roll to his side, King tries to kick him right in the back. Cortez manages to roll away from the kick before it can hit, allowing Todd to get enough time to reach back and grab the leg of King once again, holding him in place, before hitting him between the legs with a low blow!

 

"CHEAP SHOT! THAT'S THE CHEAPEST SHOT THAT I'VE EVER SEEN!" Riley shouts out! "DISQUALIFY CORTEZ!"

 

"This match is no disqualifications, Riley! Besides that fact, the referee was distracted with Kelly outside of the ring, so you have to really blame her for what just happened to your wet dream!" Comet states.

 

Cortez uses his arm to push himself off the mat a bit, using his good leg to get back up to a vertical position once again, and grabs him with a single arm DDT, dropping him to the mat face first! Cortez doesn't take a moment of time to wait, grabbing the legs of King with one of his arms, and the head of King under the chin with the other arm, pulling them with his own back as a pressure point onto King's back, locking his hands together.

 

"A very unique submission move here by Cortez, I think this is just in a desperate attempt to get the win in this match, as he's trying whatever it takes to get Max King to tap out!"

 

"NOO! King, get out of this! Remember, you have a match against Manson that you have to prove yourself for! You need to keep fighting out of this move!"

 

King's body is continually being bent back into the wrong position by the unique hold that Todd Cortez has him in, trying to roll with the move to get into a position that he can get out of the hold and prevent himself from having to submit to the pain. King manages to roll a bit...pushing his body as hard as he can...and kicking with his legs enough to break the hold. Cortez stands up to his good leg now, and bouncing off of hit flips into a moonsault right onto the back of King while "The Icon" is still down on the mat. Cortez rolls a bit onto the back of King, trying to go into another Boston Crab while King is down on the mat. King, however, rolls before Cortez can completely get the hold on, onto his back now and reaching forward to grab him into a Crossface Chickenwing, wrapping his legs around the waist of Cortez as well.

 

"Quick thinking by King! Cortez doesn't know what hit him just there, he's locked up into this great submission hold, and is getting wrenched into positions that the body isn't supposed to go into!" Riley calls.

 

"Max King definitely surprised Todd Cortez with that one, but Cortez manages to get his free arm moving...he's not going to stay in this hold any longer than he has to right here!" Comet states, as Cortez reaches his free hand towards the legs of King that are wrapped around his waist and pulling at them, managing to free the legs enough to flip back into a position that would normally be a pinning predicament, apparently going by instinct in the match. The referee is quick to come over and remind Cortez that pins don't count in this match, and King tries to roll with the hold and put Cortez into the hold once again. However, both King and Cortez are too close to the ring ropes, and they get tangled up into them before falling out of the ring onto the arena floor.

 

"This doesn't bode well for either King or Cortez right now, as both of them are on the outside of the ring. Major damage can be caused to either participant in this match if they're not careful!" Comet states.

 

"And if King can get back up to his feet, that's exactly what would be perfect for him to try in this bout!" Riley states. "Kelly seems to know it too, as she's shouting for King to get onto the attack once again!"

 

King and Cortez both push up with their arms to a kneeling position, and when they face each other they start slugging with each other onto the arena floor, nailing each other hard in the face with punches. King's body weight gets him an advantage though, as Cortez is knocked back onto his back. King gets back up to his feet slowly, but before he can try anything on Cortez, Todd grabs the legs of King and pushes them away from him, causing King to hit face first onto the top ring step!

 

"WHAT!?" Riley calls out, scared and surprised. "What in the heck was that?"

 

"That was called turning the momentum in your favor, despite how desperate it may seem Riley!" Comet states. "King has a glazed look in his eyes now, and this looks really good for The Urban Legend to get a good move into "The Icon" while he's seemingly out!"

 

Cortez crawls over to King's out cold body, making sure to roll him over onto his chest while King is down, then looks over to the side of the ring, and sees an empty steel chair to be used in the next match for Ryan Dustin's commentary. He hobbles over to the chair, trying to get life back into his leg while he moves to it. Taking the chair away from near the table, he unfolds it onto the back of King, sitting onto the chair and grabbing the legs, pulling into a Boston Crab with the chair squarely onto the back of King!

 

"FLAGRANT CHEATING! FLAGRANT CHEATING BY TODD CORTEZ!" Riley shouts. "HE SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO DO THIS!"

 

"But the fact is that he IS being allowed to do this, Riley! This match is going to be over very shortly, because Todd Cortez is really damaging the back of Max King!" Comet calls back.

 

Cortez continues to pull away onto the legs of King, the back of King being pulled up into the hard chair parts. The camera goes up to the face of King, showing the severe pain on the face of King as he is being hurt. The arm of King raises up, apparently showing that he's going to tap out...

 

Until Cortez somehow falls over the chair, landing right next to King. The camera pulls back a bit, to show Kelly holding one of her shoes in her hand, then pans over to show Cortez, with a High Heel shaped indentation in his forehead!

 

"GO KELLY!" Riley calls. "That's the way, girl! Show that you love your man as much, if not more, than I do!"

 

"Kelly has saved Max King at the last minute, and probably has just cost Cortez the match. Cortez getting up though...and he looks REALLY angry!" Comet calls, as Kelly celebrates the action that she just did. Cortez walks up behind her, waiting for the moment that she turns around.

 

"Cortez, you better back off!" Riley calls. "You better not..."

 

As soon as Kelly turns around, Cortez grabs her by the throat, and drops her HARD onto the arena floor with his chokeslam into sit-out powerbomb!

 

"URBAN ASSAULT ONTO KELLY CONNELLY!" Comet calls. "Kelly getting exactly what she deserves for getting involved into the match where she didn't belong!"

 

Comet smiles a bit as Kelly writhes in pain on the arena floor, not noticing that King is behind him with the steel chair that he was being tortured with in hand. Apparently seeing what Cortez did to Kelly just a few minutes ago, King swings the chair HARD in between the eyes of Cortez!

 

"GOOD JOB!" Riley states. "Defend your life-mate like that King!"

 

"Kelly's distractions earlier in the match have cost Cortez the win...and now King is quick to roll Cortez into the ring!" Comet notes.

 

"And he dives in, locking in the Dragon Sleeper, pressing the leg into the back...now pulling the leg for the Compressor!" Riley states. "King is going to get the win now...Cortez doesn't stand a chance!"

 

Comet sighs. "Apparently once again thanks to Kelly, Max King is going to get the win in this match...."

 

As soon as Comet says this, Cortez starts tapping out to the compressor, bringing a big smile to the face of Max King as his theme starts to play.

 

Funyon: Here is your winner..."THE ICON"...MAX...KING!

 

King smiles as he slides out of the ring, now going to help the still out-cold Kelly up over his shoulder, leaving Cortez in pain in the middle of the ring.

 

"Max King may have had Kelly to help him out in this match to get the win, but he won't have that kind of help at Genesis. King may have backed himself into the corner for his match against Manson..." Comet notes.

 

"All he's done is prove that he will make Manson scream in pain, even louder than Cortez did just now. I just can't wait!" Riley says happily.

 

The camera fades out on King, who is carrying Kelly to the back, kissing said woman in her arms on the lips as he leaves.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

“We’re back on Lockdown,” says Cyclone Comet, “and coming up next, ladies and gentlemen, we have a special attraction cruiserweight match, as the Cruiserweight Champion, Tom Flesher, will face Birdman in a non-title match!”

 

“Tom requested this tune-up match to prove a point,” adds Bobby Riley. “He wants to show Ryan Dustin some of what he intends to do to him at Genesis, and in the process, prove that Dustin’s two wins over Birdman really weren’t all that impressive after all!”

 

“Ryan Dustin is, of course, the Number One contender to the Cruiserweight Championship,” continues Comet. “He earned that honorific by defeating Birdman, one of the hottest young cruiserweight superstars in the SWF today, in a match to determine the Number One contender, and then proved that he is, in fact, the Real Deal by defeating Birdman again in a rematch! He’s presently on a collision course to challenge the dominant champion at G5!”

 

With that, Funyon’s familiar voice booms over the house microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he says, “the following contest is a non-title match, scheduled for one fall!” N.E.R.D.’s “Lapdance” brings the Cleveland faithful out of their seats. The lights in the Gund dim as a single spotlight centers itself at the head of the ramp, providing a place for Ryan Dustin to step into! The Real Deal is dressed in his “civvies” as he assumes his trademark pose underneath the spotlight before making his way down the ramp.

 

“Please welcome the special guest commentator for this match,” says Funyon, “the Number One Contender to the Cruiserweight Championship, the ‘Real Deal,’ Ryan Dustin!” Dustin shakes hands with the fans surrounding the barricade as he makes his way around the ringside area before reaching the announce table, where Comet warmly offers Ryan the seat beside him. The lights in the arena come back on as Dustin dons his headphones and takes a seat besides Comet.

 

“Welcome, Citizen Dustin,” says Comet. “It’s a pleasure to have you here!”

 

“Why thank you,” replies Dustin. “It’s really a pleasure to be here!”

 

“Hey Ryan,” quips Riley, “fell off the wagon lately?”

 

“Enough out of you,” barks Comet. “I apologize for my broadcast colleague, Ryan; he is subject to speaking without thinking!”

 

Ryan dismisses the matter out of hand. “It was a fair question, Comet; I was dangerously close to a downward spiral, and if I hadn’t gotten myself back on track by winning that Number One Contender’s match against Birdman, there’s no telling how far I’d have sunk by now!”

 

“Well, how wonderful for you to have something to give you confidence besides that ol’ liquid courage,” Riley says patronizingly. “But, as Tom Flesher is about to prove to you here in just a few minutes, you’re putting your hope in false idols, so to speak, if you’re using victories over Birdman as a positive!”

 

“I wouldn’t take Birdman lightly,” counters Dustin, as his music finally fades out. “That guy’s tough; if Flesher doesn’t come out here intent on bringing his best stuff, Birdman is going to run him out of the building!”

 

BOOM!

 

With that, an explosion of blue smoke and pyro lights up the arena, heralding the arrival of the Cruiserweight Champion! As Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” blares through the stadium, Tom Flesher walks through the velvet curtain clad in his usual blue warm-up suit. Allison Onita, wearing a black leather skirt and a short black leather jacket covering what would otherwise be revealed by a sleeveless black mesh blouse, follows behind him with the SWF Cruiserweight Title belt wrapped around her waist. The fans boo loudly as Flesher and Onita make their way to the ring, but Flesher ignores them as usual.

 

On the other side of the ring, Riley pops to his feet and begins to applaud the arrival of the “Superior One,” as Flesher climbs the stairs and holds the ropes for Allison Onita, then enters. He sets himself in the center of the ring as the music fades, and looks at the announcer with a smirk.

 

Funyon breathes a loud and exaggerated sigh before beginning to read the prepared statement on the index card handed to him. “Introducing first,” he says, “is a man who, quite clearly, needs no introduction! He is the preeminent mat wrestler in the SWF today, yesterday, and tomorrow! He rules the squared circle with an iron fist, and he rules the bedroom with an appendage of equal resiliency! And he has decided to grace those of you here in the Gund Arena for the sole purpose of showing Ryan Dustin why sometimes, one should be careful what one wishes for! Currently weighing in at two hundred thirty-one and one quarter pounds, due to this match not being for the Cruiserweight Title, from Buffalo, New York, he is the reigning SWF World Cruiserweight Champion, the ‘Superior One,’ TOOOOOOOOM FLESHER!” Flesher gives the fans a royal wave as Allison cheers behind him, only to be met by a less-than-warm reception:

 

FLESHER SUCKS!

FLESHER SUCKS!

FLESHER SUCKS!

FLESHER SUCKS!

 

 

“Hey,” growls Riley. “Show some respect for the Cruiserweight Champion! You people are lucky that Tom even decided to grace you with his presence!” Flesher has Allison to remove the Cruiserweight Title from her waist and hand it to him, as he proceeds to walk towards the edge of the ring facing the announce table, and dangle it over the top rope while looking directly at Dustin as if to say, “Want some? Come get some!”

 

“Oh please,” groans Comet. “That guy is so full of himself, it defies belief! He thinks that he’s Zeus’s gift to the world of wrestling!”

 

Riley rolls his eyes as if Comet were stating what should be blatantly obvious. “That’s because he IS, Comet! Geez, you’d think that you haven’t seen him wrestle for the last three years or something!”

 

“There’s no question that Flesher is at the head of the class when it comes to mat wrestling,” agrees Dustin, “but he should worry about being too comfortable, if you know what I mean.”

 

“Not exactly,” admits Comet. “But I’d love to hear your explanation.”

 

 

LEEEET’S GET RETARDED… IN HEEEEEEEEERE!

 

Before Dustin can begin his explanation, the Black Eyed Peas’ “Let’s Get Retarded” begins to blast through the speakers. Suddenly, Birdman bursts from behind the curtain onto the stage in a crimson blur, for he is covered from head to toe in a sharp red, to resemble a cardinal, the state bird of Ohio.

 

“His opponent,” shouts Funyon, “from parts unknown, weighing two hundred nineteen pounds, the BIIIIIRDMAAAAAN!” Birdy dances down towards the ring, slapping hands with the fans at ringside as he descends the ramp.

 

“They love the Birdman here in Cleveland,” shouts Comet, as Birdman leaps onto the ring apron and rushes towards a neutral corner, leaping onto the top turnbuckle as he begins to interact with the fans.

 

“Anyway,” says Dustin, “as I was starting to say earlier, Tom Flesher is in danger of becoming complacent; I mean, he’s been the Heavyweight Champion on more than one occasion, and to someone like him, he might see the Cruiserweight Championship as a ‘lesser’ title. Not only that, but he’s been able to dominate the Cruiserweight division so thoroughly to this point, that he could let his guard down, especially against someone as seemingly harmless as Birdman, and if he lets his guard down against me at Genesis, I think that I have a very good chance of walking out as the new Cruiserweight Champion!”

 

“Would you elaborate on your comment about Birdman being unassuming,” asks Comet as Birdy’s music fades out.

 

“All I mean by that is that, given his colorful costume, and the happy-go-lucky way he comes down to the ring, a lot of people make the mistake of taking him lightly. But, I’m telling you from experience, that he’s as tough as they come! I think that he’s proven to everybody that he can take pretty much anybody to the limit, and with his speed and his eclectic offensive style, he’s so hard to get a read on, that if you can’t get him down quickly and keep him down, it’s virtually impossible to beat him!” Birdman removes his cloth “wings” and hands them over the top rope to the ringside attendant, as referee Ronald “Red” Herrington motions to the timekeeper to ring the bell, signifying the start of the match.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Birdman and Flesher circle each other in the ring but, before they can lock up, Flesher makes a show of pantomiming wiping the sweat off his brow and flicking it towards Birdman. This, not surprisingly, angers Birdy to the point of charging towards the Superior One, which is precisely what Flesher wants, as he stuns his impetuous opponent with a sudden shotei to the chest! Birdman staggers backwards a couple of steps, which is all the opening that Tom need to shoot the double-leg, lifting Birdy up off the mat and slamming him onto his face with a textbook double-leg takedown, driving all the air out of Birdman’s lungs! Flesher quickly moves upwards along Birdman’s body, without completely releasing his grip, and assuming a top referee’s position.

 

“Pay attention, Dustin,” says Bobby reverently. “You’re about to get yourself a free wrestling lesson!” Birdman tries to sit out, but Flesher deftly underhooks Birdman’s arms and snatches him backwards, rolling him onto his shoulders in what appears to be a pinning predicament, but before referee Herrington can make a count, Tom rolls to his side, lifting his opponent off of the mat and back into a sitting position, only to roll him back onto his shoulders. Flesher repeats this process several times before finally allowing Birdman to return to his feet, releasing him to the neutral position. Birdy quickly darts away from Flesher and turns back to face his opponent, who simply looks back with a smug grin on his face as Allison squeals with delight from outside the ring.

 

“A quick technical exhibition by the Superior One,” says Comet, as Flesher turns his attention away from Birdman to taunt Dustin once more. “He got Birdman on the mat with a textbook takedown, and then got in some riding time; had this been an amateur wrestling match, he probably would have earned about ten back points on that single sequence!”

 

Riley, who had gotten a dreamy look in his eyes when Comet said “riding time,” shakes himself out of his trance to provide banter. “Now you tell me, Dustin: does that look like the work of a man who’s complacent?”

 

“He’d best stop worrying about me, and focus on his opponent,” warns Dustin. Flesher and Birdman meet in the center of the ring once more, and Tom takes advantage once again with a knee to the midsection. With Birdman doubled over, Flesher traps him in a side headlock and then quickly takes him back down to the mat with an amateur-style hiptoss! Maintaining control of the headlock, Flesher tries to force Birdman’s shoulders to the mat, but the high-flyer swings his legs upwards, catching the Superior One by surprise by trapping him in a headscissors and forcing him backwards to the mat! Birdy tries to hold Flesher down in the headscissors, but the mat veteran rolls onto his stomach, shifting his weight onto his well-trained neck before flipping forward, holding Birdman down with a modified jackknife pin:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

But Birdman surprises Flesher yet again, grabbing the Superior One by the waist as he bridges out of the pin attempt with alarming quickness! Birdy gets back his feet and twists towards Flesher in an attempt to re-assert control, and then takes another half-twist, positioning himself back-to-back with Tom with their arms locked up!

 

“Uh oh,” warns Riley. “It looks like we’ve got a test of strength here!” Tom is able to use his size and power to force Birdman backwards, but just as he begins to drop to his knees to apply a backslide, the high-flier rolls backwards off of Tom’s shoulders to land on his feet in front of him, and before the Superior One can get off his knees to react…

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… Birdman hops into the air, driving both feet into Tom’s grill with a front dropkick! Birdman pushes Flesher against the ropes as he staggers to his feet and grabs him by the wrist, whipping him across the ring, but the Superior One reverses, sending the Bird rocketing into the ropes…

 

 

BLAM!

 

 

… Only for the high-flier to explode towards Flesher’s head with the force of a cruise missile as he bounces off the ropes, blasting the Cruiserweight Champion with a flying forearm! Tom quickly bails out of the ring before Birdman can build up any further momentum, and walks briskly up the ramp, stopping at a distance that he hopes is outside of Birdman’s effective range as he catches his breath. Red Herrington begins his twenty-count and Birdman leaps onto the middle rope, staring out at Flesher’s retreating form before rallying the Gund behind him with his trademark birdcall:

 

Birdman: CAW-CAW!

Crowd: CAW-CAW!

 

“There’s a perfect example of Flesher being complacent, Bobby,” says Dustin. “The Tom Flesher of old wouldn’t have been in that position; heck, the old Flesher would never have even allowed Birdman up after that ride to give him the chance to do any of that in the first place!”

 

 

EIGHT!

 

NINE!

 

TEN!

 

 

“Oh, come on,” dismisses Riley. “He’s just trying to give the people a show, that’s all. He wants them to believe that Birdman has a chance; gotta make it look sporting, after all!”

 

 

FIFTEEN!

 

SIXTEEN!

 

SEVENTEEN!

 

 

Experienced mat veteran that he is, Flesher uses all nineteen of his legally allotted seconds before returning to the ring. Upon squaring off with Birdman again…

 

 

THWACK!

 

 

… The Superior One stuns his younger opponent by thumbing him in the eye!

 

“What a brilliant technical maneuver by Tom Flesher to regain control of this match,” gushes Riley.

 

“Are you serious,” barks Comet. “How can you call that a technical maneuver?”

 

“You really should research the sport a little more, Comet,” replies Bobby nonchalantly. “That was a traditional Greco-Roman thumb to the eyes!” Flesher steps behind Birdman and locks both of his hands around Birdy’s midsection, lifting him off the mat and slamming him back down with a waistlock takeover.

 

“You know,” says Dustin, “for someone who is supposed to be a great as Tom Flesher claims to be, he sure did take a long enough time trying to recover from Birdman’s offense!”

 

“That’s called smarts, Dustin,” replies Bobby. “Obviously something that you’re not acquainted with; under cruiserweight rules, Flesher has nineteen seconds to return to the ring before being counted out, and while those nineteen seconds do, in fact, give Flesher time to recover, you have to see the big picture!”

 

“Which is,” asks Ryan.

 

“That Birdman is the kind of wrestler that depends on momentum, and an extended break is just the thing that Flesher needs to dissipate that momentum, and retake the advantage!” Tom shifts forward from his waistlock and floats seamlessly into a front facelock, sprawling backwards as he does so to spread out his body weight and make it harder for Birdman to counter the hold.

 

“Look at that sprawl on the facelock to keep Birdman from just trying to stand up,” Bobby says reverently. “Those are the kind of little things that separate the greatness of Flesher from common wrestlers such as yourself!”

 

“Look,” says Dustin, as Flesher shifts onto his knees in an effort to apply more weight directly to the back of Birdman’s neck, “I never doubted Flesher’s technical acumen. I do, however, doubt his commitment to the Cruiserweight Title.”

 

Riley begins to stand up in outrage, but Comet grabs him firmly by the shoulder, forcing him back down into his chair. “You blasphemous heathen! How DARE you doubt the commitment to winning of a future Hall-of-Famer like Tom Flesher!”

 

“How can you not see it,” replies Dustin, as Birdman pulls his knees close to his chest and attempts to stand up. “Flesher has said himself how the only belt that really matters to him is the Heavyweight Title; he’s clearly not as committed to defending the Cruiserweight Championship as others are to taking it from him! And his lack of focus is a weakness… one that I intend to exploit at Genesis!” Birdman manages to return to a standing position, albeit bent over, and twists towards Flesher’s body, shifting from the front facelock into a side headlock. From this position, he leads Tom back to the edge of the ring and uses the ropes to help him propel the Superior One across the ring, thereby freeing himself from the headlock. He steps towards the center of the ring as Flesher shoots back off the ropes…

 

WHACK!

 

… And the Superior One knocks him down to the mat with a stiff running shoulderblock! Birdman rolls onto his stomach and remains flat on the mat as Tom runs back to the ropes and over the top of his opponent as he rebounds, but as he bounces off the ropes a second time…

 

WHAM!

 

… Birdman springs quickly to his feet and immediately leaps high into the air, locking his legs behind Flesher’s head and arching backwards as he snatches the Superior One off the mat and onto his back with a lightning-fast hurricanrana! Tom quickly scrambles to his feet, but Birdman is even quicker, and he leaps back into the air…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… Nailing the Superior One with a running dropkick that sends him staggering backwards into the ropes! Tom barely avoids falling out of the ring, grabbing onto the top rope and pulling himself to his feet, when Birdy suddenly charges across the ring, rocketing through the air with the speed of a falcon…

 

CRASH!

 

 

… And slamming into Flesher with a flying body press that knocks them both over the top rope! Birdman lands on the apron and rolls underneath the bottom rope back into the ring as the Superior One crashes to the floor!

 

“Disqualify him,” shrieks an enraged Riley. “Birdman knocked Flesher over the top rope! He should be disqualified, fined and suspended!” Birdman pulls himself to his feet as Allison rushes around the ring to tend to her man.

 

“Oh please,” scoffs Comet. “Tom Flesher was sent over the top rope due to his momentum.”

 

“Yeah right,” counters Bobby. “You mean his momentum as set in motion by Birdman!”

 

Birdman: CAW-CAW!

Crowd: CAW-CAW!

 

With his trademark war cry, Birdman rushes to the corner as Allison is helping Tom to his feet and leaps onto the middle turnbuckle…

 

 

SPLASH!

 

… Flipping backwards and OVER the top rope as he sails down to the arena floor and knocking both Tom and Allison back down with a springboard moonsault!

 

“Tremendous maneuver by Birdman,” exclaims Comet. Birdman pulls himself back to his feet and drags the Superior One to the barricade, lifting him up and draping him chest-first across the barricade.

 

“What do you suppose he’s up to now,” ponders Comet.

 

“If I know Birdman,” replies Ryan, “it’s nothing that Bobby’s gonna like!” Birdy slides into the ring and immediately scrambles to his feet, dashing across the ring and streaking back towards Flesher as he bounces off the ropes, leaping over the top rope as he approaches the edge of the ring and flipping forward…

 

 

SPLASH!

 

 

… Crushing Flesher’s chest against the barricade with a death-defying tope con hilo!

 

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

 

“By Zeus,” screams Comet. “Birdman dove over the top rope like a swan and crashed into Tom Flesher on the outside!” Birdy is slow to get up, having over-rotated and collided hard with the concrete floor as he landed, but the Superior One remains leaning against the barricade, spitting up blood as Allison tends to him.

 

“Moves like that can end a promising young career prematurely,” moans Riley.

 

“I agree,” says Dustin. “I really hope that Birdman stops doing stuff like that before he gets seriously injured!”

 

“To hell with Birdman,” snaps Bobby. “I’m talking about Flesher! Look at poor Tom suffering over there! Do you realize how many hearts were broken when they saw him spitting up blood? To think, that he won’t be blessing anyone with those dreamy kisses tonight!”

 

Ryan and Comet both turn to look at Bobby skeptically, but decline to comment as they notice Birdman pulling himself over the barricade. He measures Tom up for a running elbow, and begins to take off towards him when he suddenly notices that one of his legs has been trapped. Looking down, he sees Allison clinging onto his ankle for dear life! Birdy reaches down and pulls his foot away from Onita, and then turns his attention back towards Flesher…

 

CRACK!

 

… But not soon enough to avoid a size 13 Doc Marten boot, as the Superior One sends Birdman flipping through the air and down to the floor with a desperation Yakuza Kick! Flesher collapses to his knees trying to catch his breath, as Birdman remains face down on the arena floor, motionless.

 

“My goodness,” shouts Comet. “That Yakuza kick came out of NOWHERE!”

 

“What a commendable action by Allison,” says Bobby. “Putting herself on the line to buy her man some time! I tell you, that Onita is a credit to her gender, nothing like that troublemaking sister of hers!” Tom slowly but surely stands up and pulls Birdman to his feet as well, grabbing him by the back of the head and leading him over towards the far corner…

 

BANG!

 

… Before slamming his head into the solid steel steps!

 

“There you go, Champ,” cheers Bobby. “Scramble those brains! Show that bird-brain the penalty for taking stupid risks!” Suddenly becoming cognizant of Herrington’s count, Tom rolls back into the ring and gets to his feet, distracting Red long enough to stop his count, while Allison sneaks up out of the referee’s view and begins strangling Birdman! The Gund crowd begins to shout in unison, imploring Herrington to turn around, but the wily Flesher continues to keep the junior referee preoccupied whilst his woman constricts the Bird’s breathing!

 

At the announcer’s table, Dustin begins to stand up. “So this is how the great Tom Flesher has to win these days? Resorting to a woman to do his dirty work? And you say that he hasn’t grown soft?”

 

“Not now,” warns Comet, trying to coax Dustin back into his seat. “You don’t want to do anything to jeopardize your title shot, Citizen Dustin!” Flesher, who noticed Ryan about to stand up, walks over to the edge of the ring closest to the announcer’s table and hops back out of the ring, sneering at Dustin as if to say, “Yeah, that’s right. What are you gonna do about it?” And then, before Ryan even has time to react…

 

PTUI!

 

… The Superior One spits a big loogie right into the face of the Real Deal! Ryan bursts out of the chair, but Comet grabs him with both hands and prevents him from leaving the table. “Pick your battles, youngster,” advises the masked hero. “Get Flesher when it will hurt; not like this!”

 

“When it hurts,” Dustin mumbles absentmindedly. “Don’t worry, Comet. I’ll get his attention when it matters.” Allison rolls Birdman back into the ring out of the referee’s view, and Tom slides back into the ring, crawling over towards Birdy and making a half-hearted cover:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

NO! BIRDMAN GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

 

 

“More overconfidence by a once proud champion,” spits Ryan. “There was a time when Flesher would hook the leg every time.”

 

“You talk real big for someone who just got punked by that very same man,” mocks Riley, to which Dustin responds by shoving him forcefully out of his seat, to the delight of the fans seated behind the announce table.

 

Back in the ring, Flesher is standing over Birdman, slapping him playfully on the head as he tries to get to his feet, and cinches Birdy’s head in a vice-like chinlock with his right arm before suddenly shooting his left arm in underneath his opponent’s arm, and lifting him off-balance before slamming him back down to the mat! The Superior One maintains control of the chinlock and corkscrews his body ever so slightly as he attempts to put the match away:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE— NO!

 

 

“My goodness, was that close,” sighs Comet. “Tom Flesher had Birdman dead-to-rights with that Cement Job, but somehow Birdman managed to kickout!” Flesher pulls Birdman to his feet and grabs him by the wrist, whipping him into the corner! The Superior One rushes into the corner to inflict further damage…

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

… But the high-flier dives out of the corner, causing Tom to crash chest-first into the turnbuckle! Flesher staggers out of the corner, clutching his chest as he spits up blood, and Birdman runs to the edge of the ring, charging towards Flesher as he bounces off the ropes…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… But the Superior One suddenly spins around and blasts Birdman in the face with a brutal shotei that knocks him down to the mat!

 

“Shotei,” exclaims Comet. “Birdman went for the bulldog, but Flesher saw it coming!”

 

“He had that move well scouted,” agrees Riley. “He knows that Birdman loves to use that bulldog out of the corner as a setup for the Bird Dropping, and was waiting for him!”

 

“Flesher better make the most of this opportunity and put Birdman away,” warns Dustin, as Tom leans out of the ring, allowing Allison to use a towel to wipe the blood from his mouth. “If Birdman can muster up a second wind, there’s no telling what could happen!”

 

Flesher walks back over to Birdman and grabs him by the back of the mask, pulling him to his feet. He forces him back into the corner and lifts him onto the top turnbuckle before stepping back and running towards the corner, leaping into the air to stun Birdy with a leaping palm strike!

 

“Venus,” shouts Riley. “Tom just struck Birdman with the Venus palm strike! Could we be looking at the Boilermaker?” Flesher climbs up to the middle turnbuckle but instead of putting Birdman in position for the Boilermaker proceeds to the top turnbuckle, pulling Birdy up along with him.

 

“It doesn’t look like he’s going for the Boilermaker,” says Comet, as Tom bends Birdman over and applies a waistlock. “Although I’m not sure what he’s… WAITAMINUTE! I think he may be going for the Ego Buster from up there!”

 

“An Ego Buster from the top rope,” asks Riley incredulously. “If he hits that, somebody’s going to have to unmask Birdman, so we can identify the body!”

 

“You know what, Comet,” asks Ryan. “You’re right; you have to pick your battles.” With that, the Real Deal stands up and removes his headphones, walking around the announce table and climbing onto the ring apron!

 

“Be careful, kid,” warns Comet. “You don’t want to jeopardize your title shot!” Herrington runs over towards Ryan, ordering him to get off the apron as Tom, momentarily distracted, begins to shout at Dustin to get off the apron as well.

 

“Damn that Dustin,” growls Riley. “He’s completely disrupted this match!” Flesher continues to bark at Dustin, going so far as to release his grip on Birdman and point at the Real Deal.

 

“Flesher might want to pay a little less attention to Citizen Dustin and remember exactly where he is,” warns Comet. Tom begins to turn his attention away from Dustin…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… But Ryan’s distraction gave Birdman enough time to recover, and he delivers a hard shot to Tom’s ribs! And another! And another!

 

“It’s Birdman,” shrieks Comet. “He’s fighting back!” Birdy lifts his hands to Tom’s face and grabs onto his head on both sides before proceeding to headbutt him with the ferocity of a woodpecker!

 

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

 

Eventually, Birdman relents, and Flesher falls backwards into the ring, crashing back-first on the canvas.

 

“Uh-oh,” warns Comet. “Birdman’s in perfect position to hit that Bird Dropping!” As if reading the masked commentator’s mind, Birdy leaps off of the turnbuckles, diving into the ring posterior-first…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And crashing into Flesher’s chest with his patented flying sit-down splash!

 

 

“Bird Dropping,” shrieks Comet, as Birdy reaches back to hook the leg. “He’s not going to get up from that!” Herrington drops down to the canvas to count the pinfall…

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

… And orders the timekeeper to ring the bell as he declares the match decided! Twenty-one thousand Cleveland fans erupt out of their seats as “Let’s Get Retarded” begins to play once again! Birdman scoots out of the ring immediately as Funyon rises from his ringside seat.

 

“Here is your winner,” he says, “the BIIIIIRDMAAAAAN!” Herrington raises Birdman’s hand in victory, and Birdy begins to retreat up the ramp as Flesher comes to inside the ring.

 

“What a tremendous upset,” shouts Comet. “Birdman pulling out the most improbable of victories here tonight, defeating Tom Flesher!”

 

“No thanks to Ryan Dustin,” spits Riley, as Dustin slides into the ring to taunt Flesher. “If it weren’t for his distraction, Tom would have won going away!”

 

“Nonetheless,” says Comet, as Flesher gets to his feet, ready to come to blows with Dustin, only being held back by Herrington, “the fact remains that this loss is a major setback for Tom Flesher going into a big title defense at Genesis! Tom Flesher has just lost to a man whom Ryan Dustin has beaten twice, and now you have to consider Dustin a threat the Cruiserweight Title! You also have to wonder if Flesher really HAS lost a step? And, if he has, is it enough for Ryan Dustin to take advantage of? Can Dustin unseat the old lion and become the next Cruiserweight Champion?”

 

A cadre of referees struggling to keep Flesher and Dustin separate joins Herrington, and the two men continue to glare at each other furiously as Lockdown goes to commercial…

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

The Gund Arena is rocking as the theme music for SWF Lockdown plays over the PA system. The camera swings around, picking out a few fans for their second of fame, then settling on the SWF announcers, Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley.

 

Comet: Welcome back fans! This next match is a clash of two legends of the SWF ring with history going back to the old IGNJL and a little stable called FTW! Tonight, the we go Old School with a match between Jamie Drazon, formerly known as Jay Dawg, and the Heavy Hitter himself, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens!

 

Riley: Back in the day, these two guys were actually friends, but it didn't last long at all. I think we all remember who it was that tore the ligaments in Mark Stevens' left knee that have, in a roundabout way, put him in the unenviable position he is in tonight!

 

The lights go out...

 

Several seconds of hushed silence cause the crowd to become restless...

 

They are clapping, talking, shouting, waving signs, waiting for whatever is about to happen...

 

::Crack!!!::

 

 

The crowd, simply put, explodes!

 

 

The crack of a bat and the roar of the crowd announce "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens. It quickly fades into the opening bass of "Born Bad" by the Gone Jackals, his classic anthem. The SmarkTron lights up with baseball highlights mixed with big spots from Grand Slam's matches while flashing the words "Grand Slam", "Mark Stevens" and "The Heavy Hitter". The various multicolored lights flash in time with the rhythmic bass until the guitars crash and the lead singer cries out "Born Bad!", then the arena is flooded with bright white light! Red and white pyro explodes at the top of the entrance ramp! When the smoke clears and everyone can see again, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens is standing underneath the SmarkTron! The crowd erupts in even more cheers for the Heavy Hitter!

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, weighing in at an even three hundred pounds and hailing from Lincoln, Nebraska... he is the Heavy Hitter... "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS!!

 

As Funyon makes his announcement, the Heavy Hitter walks down the ramp slowly, savoring every moment of cheers and pointing at various fans, slapping hands and keeping them screaming! Tonight, as the camera zooms in, he is wearing a Cleveland Indians baseball cap! When the crowd sees this, they cheer even louder, nearly drowning out his music! His face though, tells the story of the past few weeks. While the swollen eye is nearly gone and the cut next to it mostly healed, there is a cut across the bridge of his nose that is still an angry red, and both eyes have a drak black smudge under them, telling of the beating from Toxxic on Storm.

 

Grand Slam steps into the ring between the ropes and heads to a corner. He then climbs to the second turnbuckle, looks at the crowd, then pumps his right fist into the air several times, firing the crowd up even more and causing a flurry of flashbulbs to pop, illuminating the ring like a strobe-light!! Before dropping back to the mat, Grand Slam flings his cap out to the crowd, giving some lucky fan a unique souvenir from the SWF!!! Once the cap is sent out and the music dies, his face becomes deadly serious and he glares at the entrance ramp, waiting for one of the most hardcore men the SWF has ever produced to make his entrance.

 

Riley: Grand Slam looks like he took a walk through Lyndale with hundred bills hanging out of his pockets!

 

Comet: If Citizen Maddix had not been there to make the save, then it is quite likely that Citizen Stevens would not even be here tonight!

 

Riley: And what a shame that would be...

 

The arena dims down to solid darkness. After a few moments, allowing the hushes and the comments to pass... Marilyn Manson's "Dope Hat" hits the speakers to a loud ovation. Drazon walks through the curtains, observing the crowd briefly, scanning what he can for his presence.

 

Funyon: And his opponent, hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia and weighing in at two hundred and forty three pounds... he is the SWF's Hardcore Maniac... JAMIE DRAZON!

 

He finally walks down the isle and to the ring. He doesn't slap hands or talk to the crowd, he is focused on the ring and the man standing in that ring. The man he is to destroy tonight.

 

Riley: Don't let the crowd's cheering fool you. Jaime Drazon is one of the meanest, nastiest, and scariest men in the business today! And there is no love lost between these two men at all.

 

Comet: Indeed little buddy, Citizen Drazon has been walking the line between good and evil for a long while now and I think tonight, against his old foe, will push him back to the dark side!

 

Riley: Comet, you are truly a piece of work, you know that? Little buddy... Why I oughta...

 

In the ring, Grand Slam has handed his jacket off to a ringside tech and is stretching his neck and arms, trying to get ready for the trial ahead. His arms and back are bruised in many places, showing the pain he has had to deal with since being forced out of retirement. For his part, JD doesn't slow down as he rolls into the ring and stand up. He walks directly over to Funyon and gestures for the mic before the sequined ring announcer can even think about getting out of the ring.

 

After grabbing the mic and shooing Funyon out of the ring, JD starts to pace around the ring looking extremely agitated and ticked off. Grand Slam stands in the center of the ring, turning slowly trying to keep JD in view.

 

Riley: What is going on? Drazon isn't exactly a talker...

 

Finally, as the crowd's anticipation builds to a fever pitch, Drazon raises the mic to his lips and begins to speak.

 

JD: It's no secret that you and I have never, ever seen eye-to-eye Mark. We've known each other for four years, and I think the only thing we ever agreed on is that we both like our beer cold. So I heard about you coming back and I went to Z and I asked for this match, and I asked for it here, tonight, at the Gund Arena, in Cleveland, Ohio!

 

The cheap pop explodes and dies quickly, as the audience is very interested in what Mr. Drazon has to say.

 

JD: Do you want to know why tonight? Why here? Shouldn't be too hard... back in the day, this was the IGNJL's home base. We wrestled here once a week at least. You and me Mark, you and me tore this mother down back in the day!

 

Another appreciative cheer rips through the arena. In the ring, Grand Slam looks confused as JD continues to pace the ring, still agitated...

 

JD: So I saw this arena on the schedule and I thought to myself, "Damn. Wouldn't that be the kicker! You and me, one more time in the Gund!"

 

The crowd cheers agin, thinking this is the end of JD's speech. He suprises them however...

 

JD: But I've been watching. I've seen what been happening to you. I saw what that little punk Toxxic did to you last week. Now we both know that you and me ain't friends. But I will tell you this... I'm not very fond of the Suicide King either, and I think what he's been putting you through is a crock!

 

Riley: I've got to think that wasn't a good idea with the kind of mood King has to be in tonight...

 

The crowd stands and cheers. Grand Slam looks around, wondering where this is going. JD continues to pace...

 

JD: I wanted to wrestle "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens, the Heavy Hitter, the former World Champion, the Hall-of-Famer...

 

Comet: Uh-Oh... Drazon might have just crossed the line.

 

Now Grand Slam reacts, hearing an echo of the things Toxxic said to him last week. He steps forward, pointing his finger at JD. Jamie stops pacing and looks the Heavy Hitter in the eye...

 

JD: Hold on now old man, hold on. I never said you weren't that guy anymore. Hell, as far as I am concerned, you're the same as you ever were. But I want to take you on when you are 100%, not beat up like you are now. You've been put through the ringer, and I don't want anybody saying that I beat you because you beat up or because somebody softened you up for me... when I make you tap or pin you for the three, I don't want there to be any excuses. You understand?

 

Grand Slam has a tiny half smile as he nods.

 

JD: So I have a proposal for you, just a thought I had... why don't me and you tell King exactly what we think of his and his crap? We'll roll out of this ring, head up that ramp, grab our gear and have a beer?

 

The crowd doesn't know what to think. On one hand they want to see the match, but on the other they are impressed by JD's words. Either way, they are waiting to hear what Grand Slam is going to say.

 

Mark motions for the mic, JD hands it over and leans into the corner.

 

GSMS: JD, I heard everything you said. And I've thought about it. And if you think I'm just going to walk out of this match and this arena, then I have only two words for you...

 

The crowd holds it's breath, not knowing what to expect...

 

GSMS: You're buying.

 

Grand Slam extends his hand to JD as he tosses the mic to Funyon. JD steps forward, saying something meant only for Stevens, and takes the handshake. The crowd lets out a huge cheer for them! The two men then step through the ropes and head up the ramp as the referee administers the ten count...

 

Riley: What the hell is this?

 

Comet: This is two proud men refusing to be pawns in King's game!

 

Riley: Oh come on Comet! These people paid good money for a wrestling show! A wrestling show, not a debate show. This is ridiculous!

 

In the ring, the befuddled referee reaches ten and turns to Funyon and the timekeeper...

 

**Ding ding ding**

 

Funyon: The referee has ruled this match a double countout!

 

The crowd, realizing there will be no match, quiets their cheers a little.

 

FADE

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

"Unbelievable. That's just unFREAKINGbelievable."

 

The camera quickly cuts to the Suicide King in his standard midmatch position, namely in front of a monitor backstage. The swelling of boos that accompany his visage seem to provide him a moment's pleasure, but it isn't enough to overcome his rising temper...

 

"People around here seem to have forgotten what happens when they cross me. They seem to think they can go around willy-nilly, defying me without fear of consequence. Well, enough of that. Stevens will get what's coming to him at Genesis, but Jay Dawg? I'll come up with something special for him later."

 

Muttering to himself the Suicide King wanders down the hallway. The camera follows him down until he stops in front of a locker room door with a very distinctive moniker. The Gambling Man quickly takes a moment to regain his composure (and smooth his hair) before getting down to the business at hand...

 

Knock, knock.

 

A female voice sounds out from the other side. "Who is it?"

 

"It's King. I need a moment of Tom's time, Allison. Is he free?"

 

The door opens, revealing the visage of Tom Flesher's companion/manager Allison Onita. She regards King with a wide smile and ushers him in.

 

"For you Mr. Applewhite, of course. Mind you Tom wrestled earlier-"

 

"Yes, an impressive affair as always."

 

Allison continues, "-so he's just out of the shower. He hasn't had a chance to change into his suit yet, so sweatpants will have to do for this business meeting."

 

King eyes Allison knowingly. "Well, I hope his post-match stretching left him sufficiently... focused to hear a proposition."

 

From the other side of the room the unmistakable voice of the Superior One echoes out. "I'm always interested in what you have to say, King." Toweling his hair dry and stepping out into the main area, Tom smiles steps in to greet the Suicide King. Both men share a hearty handshake and a warm smile, making it quite clear that this may be the single most powerful Mutual Respect Society the SWF has ever known."

 

"Tom."

 

"Brian. What can I do for you this evening? And thank you for your kind words regarding my match. It wasn't my best work as that feathered fruitcake was almost entirely incapable of being carried to an acceptable wrestling match."

 

King chuckles, "I sympathize of course, Tom. Rest assured that it was still quite... well, superior."

 

"Of course. In any event please have a seat." Flesher shows the Suicide King over to a sumptuously appointed leather sofa. "Allison, be so kind as to get Mr. Applewhite a drink, would you?"

 

"Vermouth martini, please, Allison." King settles in to his seat. "I am glad that you kept the sofa. I thought you would like it."

 

Tom smiles. "Well, our previous business dealings have left me well-off financially and in matters of furniture as well. I take it that you are not here to discuss our previous dealings though, Brian?"

 

The Suicide King grimaces, "No, though I am of course immensely satisfied with the results of our arrangement. No, I am here to ask for a favor."

 

"A favor? That's not like you."

 

"Yes, but things have progressed to a point to where I am slightly uncomfortable, mostly due to Stevens, Maddix and that incorrigible Zenon."

 

Flesher breaks out laughing. "You make him sound like Dennis the Menace."

 

"Well, that should just about illustrate the regard I hold our dear Commissioner in. It's too close to Genesis to perform any MAJOR alterations to this ridiculous match you may have heard about."

 

"Ah yes... I had thought that might be why you were here. What were the specifics of it again?"

 

"Well, it will apparently be that lump of flesh Stevens and his midcard militiaman Maddix versus myself and a "partner of my choosing. Now I know for a fact that I could take either of them to the proverbial cleaners, but as any student of tag matches knows you have to have a partner you can rely on. Somehow who thinks the way you do, someone who wrestles the way you do, and most importantly, someone who knows what it takes to win. And no one in the fed has the track record of success that you do, Tom."

 

Flesher inclines his head at the compliment. "King, I can't tell you how much I would like to help you in this little matter of yours, but I am the current Cruiserweight Champion. I can't imagine Zenon letting me out of a title defense at Genesis."

 

"You leave Zenon to me. He's already reached the limit of his authority. He chose to make this a power struggle of sorts, and now he's in my arena. He has made the match. He has to acquiesce to my choice of partner." King leans in. "Look, you've already handled Maddix more than once in the past. I know you can wrestler circles around Mark. You're the best active wrestler in the SWF. I need that level of insurance to finish what I have started with Stevens! I have been working on the destruction of his legacy since I first left the Carnival years ago! And now I am on the threshold of seeing that come to fruition, of embarrassing him on the grandest stage of them all! I can finally show everyone the "ultimate good guy" is a nobody! A slob! A schmuck! I-"

 

Tom interjects, "Brian, calm down. Mad scientist does not become you."

 

The Suicide King looks at Tom for a long moment, finally taking a deep breath. "You're right, of course. I'm sorry. But at least you can see how IMPORTANT this is to me, Tom."

 

"Indeed I can. Well Brian, since you seem to be able to handle that little title defense issue, and since the thought of dissecting a 'legend' like Stevens is not without its appeal, I guess there is only one question to ask. What's in it for me?"

 

King actually looks taken aback. "You mean, you wouldn't just do it out of the goodness of your heart?"

 

Silence descends on the room...

 

 

 

 

before being broken by raucous laughter, from both men.

 

Tom wipes his eyes, still snickering. "Oh, you nearly had me for a second there, King."

 

"Heh heh heh... yeah." The Gambling Man straightens his tie, smirking. "Anyway Tom, of course I have taken your needs into consideration. It occurs to me that you have already done everything there is to do in a wrestling league. You are without a doubt what I have heard some of our competition refer to as a 'first ballot Hall-of-Famer.'" You've held all the belts. You've beaten all the talent. You're the best, plain and simple."

 

Tom gestures with his hand for King to go on as he is clearly enjoying this.

 

"But you have not done two things. The first is beaten a former legend like Mark Stevens. Though he is doughy in exterior and iffy in interior, his name still carries weight. For now at least, until we take it away from him. Second and more importantly, Tom, is that you need to be looking to the future. It's time for you to consider a life outside of the ring, but still in the business. And I think that the Superior One just might be the superior replacement for a certain recalcitrant commissioner we both know and loathe."

 

Tom looks truly interested for the first time in the entire conversation. "Brian, are you offering me-"

 

King holds up a hand. "Whoah. I can't make anything definite UNTIL WE WIN THE MATCH AT GENESIS. But when we win, I will go to the board with reports of Zenon's shennanigans cast in a most unflattering light, and they will want to know what we should do. And again assuming that we win, I will answer that question with two little, but still very superior words."

 

Tom grins widely, clearly relishing certain future prospects already. "Well King, I think it is safe to say that I would be proud to be your partner at Genesis then."

 

The Suicide King stands, smiling broadly and reaching for Tom's hand. The two men share another very boisterous handshake as each man calculates a future that is positively glowing. "Tom, I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to this. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I have always wanted to wrestle with you as one of the few men in this league capable of matching my talents."

 

"Switch all relevant pronouns there King, and you have my take on the subject. The Superior One and the Suicide King! That's got to be one for the record books. The two biggest heels the business has ever know, united, to face... well, a chump and a blowhard. Well, we can't have everything."

 

King grins like a shark. "Sure we can. Now that you're on board Tom, and I have someone I know I can count on, I can start stacking the deck. Stevens and Z think they're the only ones who can make sudden irreversible proclamations about the match? Well, they're in for the surprise of their careers. For now though, you worry about Maddix (I'll need your video library on him by the way) and I will worry about Stevens."

 

King stands to make his exit, as Tom sits there and mimes his disappointment. "No hints, Brian? I'm hurt."

 

King walks over to the doorway. "Well, let's just say that this match is missing a few crucial elements. Perhaps... a BLAST from the past?" And once again smiling like an idiot, the King opens the door and exits out into the hallway.

 

And as the camera fades we leave Tom Flesher, the Superior One, pondering the import of the Suicide King's words...

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

Masked Man and Maddix in the ring! But there's Scorpion!

 

"Get over here!"

 

*uppercut*

 

"Get over here!"

 

*uppercut*

 

FINISH HIM

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

"FRIENDSHIP!"

 

*Scorpion juggles*

 

Comet: "Well thank God for that."

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

As the match ends, we immediately cut backstage only to find the Suicide King for the second time this evening! He sits comfortably in the room provided for him, unusually away from a monitor considering the previous match. The Heartbreaker is instead apparently engrossed in conversation on his cell phone.

 

"So you understand my situation then."

 

-

 

"Well, I thought if anyone could sympathize with the specifics of this particular matter, it would be you. I know you went through something very similar once."

 

-

 

"Yes, I am sorry about that. I never meant to fall out of touch. You know how it is though... there was that unpleasantness between us, and then I had to deal with the Commissionership and then the BOD. There was never enough time to mend fences. I apologize."

 

-

 

"It's ok. We both made mistakes. There was no way you could know I was right about him. But that's in the past, and this is now. I need to know if you might be willing to help me out with this particular issue now facing me."

 

-

 

"Don't worry about the specifics. I'll go over it all with you before the next show. Assuming of course that you could be here in person?"

 

-

 

"Excellent. It'll be... good... to see you again."

 

-

 

"I agree."

 

-

 

"Until then. It was good talking to you again, Chris. I'm sure we'll have to compare notes on schemes and such."

 

-

 

"Goodbye."

 

Ka-click. And with that, the Suicide King hangs up and looks thoughtfully offscreen...

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

We come back from commercials to see the Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio still packed to the RAFTERS~ with screaming SWF fans. Although really, they’d have to be pretty stupid to leave before the main event of a card they’ve paid to see, especially when there’s the chance that two-thirds of Revolution Zero are going to get their asses kicked.

 

“It’s time for the six-man elimination tag match, Citizens!” Cyclone Comet calls from the announce desk. “Featuring the devious combination of Toxxic, Spike Jenkins and the ‘Canadian’ Champion Ace Lezaire against the heroic trio of former champion David Cross, Manson and - who could forget - Dace F’n Night!”

 

“I was trying to,” Riley grumbles. “I mean, we haven’t seen him since he lost to Drazon, why couldn’t he just stay away?”

 

*BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!*

 

The hard bassline strikes of Muse’s ‘Hyper Music’ ring out, announcing the arrival of the one and only Ace Lezaire, who strides out from behind the curtain with a cocky smile on his face and with his personal cameraman Steve in tow. He stands at the top of the stage and raises his arms to the heavens, thanking them for his looks and talent as...

 

*BOOOM!*

 

...two tall bursts of pyro explode either side of him, before the Prodigy starts to make his way down to the ring. He attempts to slap hands with the fans, but most pull away and some even make obscene gestures. Tut, these Clevelanders.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is tonight’s MAIN EVENT~ and is a 6-Man Elimination Tag Match,” Funyon booms. “Making his way to the ring, accompanied by his personal cameraman Steve; from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada; he weighs in tonight at 234lbs; he is the SWF Canadian Champion... ‘The Prodigy’ AAAAAAAAACE... LEEE-ZZZAAAAAAAIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEEE!!”

 

Ace hops up onto the ring apron, proudly polishing the golden belt around his waist before stepping through the ropes and into the ring while Steve makes sure he zooms in on the newly-named Canadian Title.

 

“This young citizen has now won his first title in the SWF, and I would have said that it has gone to his head... if it was possible to fit any more arrogance in there,” Comet says with some disdain. “I sometimes have to wonder why the Gods see fit to bestow such ability on those who will only use them in pursuit of their own vanity.”

 

“That’s a load of rubbish,” Riley replies. “Now pass me my mirror.”

 

Ace persists in trying to interest Funyon in his new belt but the ring announcer isn’t paying any attention and a few moments later the Smarktron blazes white as every light in the arena hits ‘full’. For a few seconds the only sound that can be heard is a needle gently scratching over vinyl... then:

 

‘WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION!’

 

Instantly, the brutal guitars of ‘Battle Ready’ by Otep drop in before lightning apparently spears down to the entrance stage, igniting red and gold pyros-

 

*BOOOM!*

 

-that erupt on either side of the entrance stage. As the smoke clears three figures become visible; one female with black-and-red dreadlocks, one dressed in black-and-yellow with a cocky smile on his face and one in a customised England soccer shirt which reads ‘sXe’ above the number ‘9’ on the back. Needless to say, the fans in the Gund Arena are less than welcoming, booing even louder than they did for Ace.

 

“And his tag team partners,” Funyon bellows, “accompanied to the ring by Jet, at a combined weight of 443lbs; representing Revolution Zero, ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins and the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’... TOOOOOXXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!”

 

Toxxic ignores the crowd as usual, but Spike seems to have his fanclub in the house and it doesn’t take much (read: no) encouragement for him to go over and pose for pictures with a couple of emo girls by the rampside who giggle and titter as the California Man pats them both on the cheek, then dissolve into inconsolable emo tears as he leaves. However, help is at hand for the distraught girls because Jet bangs their heads together and forcibly inserts Dead Kennedys CDs into their Discmans, leaving them forever free of the tyranny of Dashboard Confessional.

 

“And you say Revolution Zero are evil!” Riley chastises Comet. “They provide a valuable public service!”

 

“This is America, Robert,” Comet preens, “the Citizens are allowed to listen to whatever trash they choose.”

 

“I knew there had to be a reason you were still doing commentary.”

 

Toxxic rolls into the ring under the ropes and climbs a turnbuckle, spreading his arms wide, palms flat as the crowd’s jeering reaches new heights. Unperturbed, the Straight-Edge Sensation strips his England shirt off (to a few whistles from the more impressionable girls in the crowd who are safely out of reach of Jet) and throws it down to the outside, while Spike takes off his jacket and hands it over to the timekeeper.

 

“And their opponents...”

 

‘Painkiller’ by Death kicks in as the light flash red and white in time to the drumbeats, and the Gund Arena goes wild! The vocalist’s first scream roars out of the PA system and white pyro lights the entrance ramp from bottom to top, and as the song kicks into full gear Dace Night walks out, flanked by David Cross and Manson!

 

“A display of solidarity by the second team for this evening,” Comet says, “although it might also be brought on by the knowledge that coming out separately would make them easy prey for their unscrupulous opponents...”

 

“...at a combined weight of 747lbs,” Funyon continues, “David Cross, Manson and DACE-”

 

“FUCKING!”

 

“-NIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHT!!”

 

Dace walks down the ramp with his eyes fixed on the ring, while Manson raises his fists in the air and Cross strips off his jacket and signature cross in preparation for the test to come. The former USJL Champion’s gaze bores into the face of Ace Lezaire, who suddenly looks rather less confident... and with an explosive rush, all three men charge the ring! Even encumbered by jacket and cross, David Cross heads straight for Ace Lezaire who bails out of the ring, then holds the Canadian Championship up high to taunt the bigger man. Spike gets levelled by a Manson Yakuza kick and rolls out of the ring, while Toxxic goes toe-to-toe with Dace Night in the middle! Unfortunately for the Straight-Edge Sensation he is completely outclassed in the striking department and Dace stuns him with two elbow smashes before driving a knee into his gut and then driving another elbow (well, he only has two elbows so it was a different strike rather than a different actual elbow, if you get me) into the back of Toxxic’s skull to send him down to the mat.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

Roared on by the crowd, Dace hoists Toxxic back up again and starts firing vicious knife-edge chops into the sternum of the straight-edger.

 

*CRACK!*

 

“WHOOO!”

 

*CRACK!*

 

“WHOOO!”

 

*CRACK!*

 

“WHOOO!”

 

With his adversary struggling on the ropes, Dace backs off for a second to wind up and comes back in with the ROLLING ELBOW~... but the blow intended to knock Toxxic to the outside misses as the slippery rookie ducks and dives forward under the strike! Dace turns to hunt for his wily opponent, but simply meets a European uppercut-

 

*WHAM!*

 

-before Toxxic leaps vertically and fires a dropkick straight into Dace’s jaw! The Hardcore Goth staggers but remains on his feet - that is, until Toxxic gets back up and immediately throws himself forward in a spinning heelkick that finally puts the bigger man down to the canvas.

 

“So why don’t we run down the history between these two teams?” Riley asks Comet. “Explain why they’re competing here tonight?”

 

“Well, the dastardly Ace Lezaire defeated Citizen Cross for the then-USJL belt in a triple threat match on Storm,” Comet recounts as Toxxic looks around to see if any of his teammates are ready to tag in, “no doubt he would like revenge.”

 

“What about Spike and Toxxic? Or for that matter, Dace and Manson?” Riley presses. “Any reason for them to be here?”

 

“Er... no.”

 

“So why is it an elimination match?”

 

“Your guess is as good as mine, Robert,” Comet concedes with a sigh.

 

Toxxic decides that he has no real interest in hanging around to trade blows with Dace and hurries over to tag Ace Lezaire. The Canadian gulps as he becomes the legal man, but his expression clears as Dace picks himself up and makes his way to his corner... then his face falls again as Horrorcore tags in David Cross, who has now passed his precious jacket and cross to the timekeeper and advances on the Prodigy with malice aforethought. Lezaire quails and turns back to his corner, and with Spike Jenkins still regaining his wits on the outside he has no option but to tag Toxxic straight back in. The Straight-Edge Sensation was calling out to Spike, checking that his stablemate was OK, and was certainly not expecting to be called back into action - nevertheless, as David Cross accelerates across the ring with eyes only for the departing Lezaire Toxxic vaults up to the top rope and then into the ring to catch the oncoming hoss with a springboard dropkick!

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

The straight-edger wastes no time upon landing, and immediately straddles the fallen Cross to begin hammering right hands down at his face. Cross tries to cover up with a certain amount of success, but Jefferson Harding is already counting:

 

‘ONE!’

 

‘TWO!’

 

‘THREE!’

 

‘FOUR!’

 

‘FI-’

 

Toxxic rolls away at the last second, then as David Cross rolls over to try and push himself up the Straight-Edge Sensation dives in with a basement dropkick to the big man’s temple! This time Cross is slower to rise, and by the time he does Toxxic has tagged Spike Jenkins in. David has just reached his knees when a stinging kicks slams into his ribs, knocking the breath from his lungs. Moments later another follows it before Spike backs up, lets out a yell and steps back in, whipping his foot towards Cross’ jaw-

 

*WHAM!*

 

-in an impact that sends the bigger man flat down to his back again! Spike drops down to attempt a cover, hooking the leg as he does so...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...but David Cross kicks out, and the Gund Arena starts to cheer in response.

 

“LET’S GET CROSS!”

 

“LET’S GET CROSS!”

 

“LET’S GET CROSS!”

 

“...that has to be one of the more bizarre chants I’ve ever heard...” Riley states.

 

ACE CAM!

Steve zooms in on Ace Lezaire standing on the apron, watching Spike Jenkins take it to David Cross. A sly smile spreads across the face of Canada’s Greatest Hope and he reaches out his hand to the man from California, figuring that now the former champion is down he wouldn’t mind a piece of the action. Steve unfaithfully pans past his subject to briefly focus on the disgusted expression on Toxxic’s face as he watches the man who ran from Cross now clamour to get back into the ring with him, but Ace is intent on calling Jenkins back over and doesn’t notice.

ACE CAM!

 

Spike gets the dazed Cross into a front face lock and hauls him over to the corner where he accedes to Ace’s requests and tags the Prodigy in. Lezaire steps through the ropes and gracefully kicks the trapped Cross in the ribs. David staggers away clutching his midsection and Ace follows up by leaping into the air and scoring with a flashy dropsault that knocks the bigger man back down to the mat.

 

“What brilliant strategy by Revolution Ace,” Riley exclaims, coming up with a name for the team on the spot. “Quick tags against the bigger man to keep themselves fresh, and David Cross in trouble!”

 

“Highly original,” Comet mutters sourly.

 

Ace now looks like he’s enjoying himself immensely and he slaps Cross a couple of times across the face while he starts to pull the bigger man up before applying a front facelock of his own. However, before Ace can go any further David fires up and rises fully to his feet with Ace over his shoulder, before twisting around and planting the Canadian Champion down with a monstrous spinebuster!

 

*BANG!*

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Cross takes a couple of deep breaths and tries to focus his eyes - when he does he realises that it is Ace Lezaire he has just spinebustered, and he takes some pleasure in climbing atop the winded Canadian and starting to hammer punches in a manner similar to Toxxic’s earlier attack on him. Referee Jefferson Harding is just as unimpressed this time around...

 

‘ONE!’

 

‘TWO!’

 

‘THREE!’

 

‘FOUR!’

 

‘FI-’

 

David Cross only just pulls himself away in time, but that is still far too long as far as Ace is concerned while the Sovereign of Swagger is wondering exactly what he did to deserve this. Of course, there was that small matter of depriving the man of his title, but surely he can’t have taken it that hard...?

 

*WHAM!*

 

Ah. Well, apparently he did.

 

“David Cross just stomped directly on Ace’s throat!” Riley yells in outrage. “Comet, are you defending the actions of this man!?”

 

“Citizen Cross is perhaps a slightly heavy-handed minister of JUSTICE~ but he still answers to that high and noble calling,” Comet replies. “Besides, Citizen Lezaire is a foul and unworthy champion.”

 

“So that’ll be a ‘yes’, then.”

 

Jefferson Harding reprimands Cross vociferously for his actions, but the man from Oil City appears anything but remorseful. However, cooler heads are on hand and Dace Night calls to Cross to tag out, presumably reasoning that it will not only keep a fresh man in the ring but also prevent David from getting himself disqualified. Cross doesn’t seem exactly happy with this proposition but acquiesces, and hauls Ace over to the corner of the Angry Men With Black Hair where Manson tags in to continue the beating.

 

“Yet another former USJL champion,” Comet notes as Mansonocity steps into the ring.

 

“But of course,” Riley agrees, “that title’s been round the fed more than Amy Craven.”

 

Manson goes to work on Ace with a selection of knees, elbows and chops as the crowd chants along, then hooks his man for a suplex but at the moment that Lezaire’s body is vertical above his head he brings him down again sharply into the canvas! Swiftly, the Denver native turns Ace over and hooks the leg...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...but Ace kicks out this time, and Spike Jenkins steps back through the ropes without needing to break the pin. His movement hasn’t gone unnoticed by Manson though, and the Hate Machine beckons Hollywood back into the ring to come catch a beating for himself. Spike seems unwilling to take Manson up on his offer but continues to talk trash, then seems to gather his courage and re-enters the ring - but Jefferson Harding was waiting for this, and cuts him off.

 

*CHING!*

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Which was exactly what Ace needed, as the Prodigy slams his forearm up into Manson’s happy-happy-joy-joy area from behind! Dace and Cross are outraged and step through the ropes to administer a righteous beating, but Spike has already exited the ring and Jefferson Harding rushes over to restrain the two angry men. Meanwhile Ace shuffles past Manson on his knees... pausing only to jab two fingers into the Hate Machine’s eyes for good measure.

 

“This... this is... unspeakable...” Comet splutters while the Gund Arena absolutely shits all over Canada’s Best Hope as he continues his progress towards his corner.

 

“Unspeakably brilliant?” Riley asks happily. “Yes Comet, it is! Ace is an example of how to get the job done with the least possible effort and he should be regarded as a role model for children in schools, not to mention most of our politicians.”

 

Dace and Cross have finally been banished to the apron and can do no more than hold their hands out for tags whilst fuming at the unfairness of it all. Unfortunately, despite harbouring enough resentment to power Linkin Park through another three albums the two men are unable to transfer any of that power to Manson and the Hate Machine is trapped in his own blinded and testicularly-traumatised world in the middle of the ring. Ace Lezaire, however, has reached his own corner and tags Spike Jenkins in.

 

*SMAK!*

 

Spike comes through the ropes with a smile on his face and a song in his heart, ready to administer a beating to the downed Manson. He runs across the canvas, launches himself into the air with arm outstretched...

 

“MOVE!” Dace and Cross yell at Manson, who rolls to one side...

 

...and Spike succeeds in driving the point of his elbow straight into the canvas, an action that causes even the mildly-concussed emo girls by the entrance ramp to shake their heads in disbelief. Hollywood grabs for Manson’s ankle with his other hand to try and stop the Hate Machine from escaping him, but this simply gives Manson a target to aim at and he lashes out with his other foot, managing to kick Spike directly in the head and shake him loose. As the California Man rolls away Manson rises up to his knees, judges the distance to his corner with eyes that are still blurry and lunges forwards-

 

*SMA-*

 

“I guess he still can’t see properly then - darn Citizen Lezaire’s evil fingers and his eye-pokery of doom!” Comet moans in frustration as Manson’s hand misses Dace’s by a good foot and the man from Denver ends up face first on the mat. This gives Spike a chance to recover and drag Manson away from his corner, then pull him upright. At this distance Manson has no problems focusing, however-

 

*WHAM!*

 

-and he swiftly takes Spike over with an appropriately-named STO! The junior straight-edger’s head bounces off the canvas, and now Manson has enough time to stumble to his corner and tag in Dace F’n Night, who steps through the ropes like a very angry Goth from Birmingham facing someone he doesn’t like very much. Such lack of allegory seems to terrify Spike, who scrambles back to his own corner with his head still ringing and tags in Toxxic. The Straight-Edge Sensation vaults lightly over the top rope to face off once more with the High Priest of Horrorcore.

 

“Honestly,” Riley sighs, “Dave vs. Toxxic - why does Dace even bother anymore? It’s not like he’s ever going to win.”

 

Dace motions Toxxic to come and get some, but the rookie simply flips a v-sign at his long-time adversary. Dace has never been the sort of Goth to take that lightly so he charges at his opponent and looks for a Yakuza kick. Toxxic easily ducks under, but Dace continues onto the corner anyway and smashes both Spike and Ace’s faces with an elbow smash apiece!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“Dace cased Ace’s face!” Comet yells.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the SWF are now advertising for commentators,” Riley says. “English as a first language is an advantage, but clearly not necessary.”

 

Dace turns back from the corner to find Toxxic waiting for him, but this time the man from Birmingham slaps the straight-edger’s dropkick out of the air, then picks Toxxic up and drives another elbow into his face. Toxxic reels away and Dace whips him into the far ropes, but Toxxic holds onto the top rope to prevent himself from rebounding into whatever high-impact monstrosity of pain the Hardcore Brummie has planned. Unfazed by his opponent’s evasive instincts Dace charges at him, but Toxxic drops down and pulls the top rope with him to send Dace careering over to the outside!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Dace starts to pick himself up and Toxxic slingshots himself clean over the top rope onto the High Priest of Horrorcore with a plancha to take him back down to the arena floor again! Jefferson Harding warns Manson and Cross not to interfere, and begins his count.

 

‘ONE!’

 

Toxxic rolls off Dace holding his back, but the Hardcore Goth is momentarily stunned and doesn’t rise immediately either.

 

‘TWO!’

 

Toxxic is first to his feet - Dace isn’t far behind, but the Straight-Edge Sensation slaps two feet into his temple with a basement dropkick while Horrorcore is still on his knees.

 

‘THREE!’

 

Both teams look ready to wage war as they taunt each other from opposite sides of the ring, but the ref keeps the dogs at bay while reaching-

 

‘FOUR!’

 

-in the count, which the crowd now starts to chant along to, sensing something exciting and potentially violent may happen, and they love it. Toxxic would gladly quench their thirst for violence, as long as Dace is on the receiving end. The Straight-Edge Sensation lifts Dace to his feet, but is immediately doubled over by the White Night, who grabs Toxxic by the arm and-

 

‘FIVE!’

 

-whips him across the concrete floor, sending him (hopefully) into the crowd divider! But much to his chagrin, Toxxic is able to leap up on top of the barrier, and after a few tense moments where he almost falls into the crowd, he finally gains his balance.

 

‘SIX!’

 

The crowd try to force their way past security to finally get their hands on the Straight-Edge Sensation, but the burly guards keep them at bay while Dace groans, charging across the floor, planning to knock Dace into the sea of fans-

 

*WHAM!*

 

-but Toxxic displays his great speed and agility, turning in a half-circle in mid-air, before crashing into Dace with a flying clothesline!

 

‘SEVEN!’

 

Dace tries to crawl away from the wreckage, Toxxic also landing hard, much to the crowd’s delight. The Horrorcore Night reaches the bottom of the ramp way, encouraged by the fans who cheer him on…

 

‘EIGHT!’

 

… but Team Heel puts their devious plan into motion, as Spike enters the ring, stomping towards the opposite corner in plain view of Jefferson Harding, who immediately forgets his count to keep order in the ring. The Faces are all but happy to adhere to Spike’s request, but Harding pushes them away, desperately trying to keep order…

 

… little does he know, Ace Lezaire lowers his head and slinks past the corner of the ring, motioning for Steve to follow him so as to get more camera time.

 

“Citizen Lezaire is on his way to strike down the White Night, and Jenkins is keeping the referee tied up!” Comet cries in an uproar. “It’s downright despicable and I’ll have none of it!”

 

Riley drags Comet back down to his seat. “Settle down Freak, there’s nothing you can do. Ace has put brilliant plan into motion, and now he’s going to make sure Dace is counted out. Although having someone with a big camera following you isn’t the stealthiest thing to do…”

 

The fans at ringside yell and holler; trying to warn Dace while Ace puts a finger to his lips and tells them to Shhh, but they continue to. Their cries get louder and louder as Lezaire approaches Dace, ready to take him down with his USJL title-

 

*BAM!*

 

 

…

 

 

“RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

-but Dace suddenly shoots forward, clobbering Ace with an Elbow to the jaw! Lezaire collapses on his back, the fans going insane as Dace climbs to his feet, ready for more.

 

The White Night turns his attention back to the Straight-Edge Sensation, but it proves to be a second too late as Toxxic hops up onto the guard rail, takes a few long strides and leaps forward, latching onto Dace’s neck and whirling around-

 

*CRASH!*

 

-planting Dace with a Tornado DDT on the steel ramp way! The fans are on their feet, protesting as loud as they can, finally drawing Jefferson Harding’s attention as Ace climbs back on the ring apron in his corner, protesting innocence, albeit while rubbing his jaw, while Spike returns, giving Lezaire a nod while Harding counts-

 

‘NINE!’

 

-but neither Dace or Toxxic move, lying on the cold steel while the fans chant around them

 

DACE F’N NIGHT! DACE F’N NIGHT! DACE F’N NIGHT!

 

Toxxic finally gets to his feet, groaning, but certainly better off than Dace is. Harding begins to raise his arms into the air, as Toxxic tries to stagger back into the squared circle, but-

 

‘TEN! Ring the bell!’

 

Harding calls to ringside as Toxxic slams his fist on the canvas, cursing himself as he and Dace are officially eliminated. Spike reels from the blow of losing his leader in this match, but he decides to step up, climbing into the ring and daring an opponent to enter the ring, and Manson obliges to a big pop. Toxxic nods to his disciple, before turning back to Dace, planning to take his frustrations out on someone, and Dace seems the perfect target-

 

“RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

-but before he can take another step, he catches sight of the World Champion himself, Johnny Dangerous, standing at the top of the ramp! The Secret Agent has a huge smile on his face as he wags his finger, raising a microphone to his mouth.

 

“It’s the World Champion, Robert! He has graciously awarded us with his presence! And it looks like he has something to say to that slimy naredowell Toxxic!”

 

“Gee, you think?” comes Riley’s blunt reply as Jet looks on from ringside, worried about what might happen…

 

“Tut, tut,” says Dangerous, World title slung across his shoulder. “Wasn’t that a silly mistake, hmm? Getting yourself counted out, imagine that. Y’know, no wonder you couldn’t keep this title, being so inept…”

 

Dangerous pauses to let the fans show whose side their on, and they’re firmly behind the champ as Toxxic glares with pursed lips and a cold stare.

 

“I hope history doesn’t repeat itself, or you’ll need your buddies to bail you out because you can’t do it on your own, such a shame.”

 

This causes the fans to go wild, feeling the blow to Toxxic’s ego and loving it. Without saying anything, Toxxic makes a beeline for Johnny, charging up the ramp way as the two go head to head, exchanging blows! Jet is split between what to do, but she has confidence in her man and stays put, ready to offer any assistance to Spike and Lezaire, even if the Canadian creeps her out, winking and waving a little too much…

 

“Citizen Dangerous ignites the crowd as he finds Toxxic at his weakest, adding yet more fuel to this intense feud!”

 

“Oh, don’t you worry Comet,” answers Riley, trying to reassure himself. “When the time comes, Toxxic will wipe that stupid smile of Johnny’s face, and become once again.”

 

The action between the champion and the challenger as everyone, even the combatants in the ring looking to the ramp way, but as the action between the two spills behind the curtain, Spike blindsides Manson with a forearm to the back of the head! Manson tries to turn back around, but Spike is too quick for him, grabbing him by the neck and slamming him down with a Neckbreaker! Spike quickly covers as Harding slides over to count

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

But Manson shoots a shoulder up, much to the fans delight. Spike lifts him back onto his feet quickly, whipping Manson into an empty corning, away from Cross, before taking a few steps back and taunting the crowd.

 

“Spike’s going to do Toxxic proud and take out Manson with a Tidal Wave, just as he would have wanted.” Riley beams.

 

I wouldn’t be so sure, Robert, with the unpredictable mess this match up has been so far, anything and everything could happen…”

 

Taking a running start, Spike flips into a handspring, then flies towards Manson, ready to kick him in the face for the KO-

 

WHOOOOOOOSH…

 

-but Manson ducks underneath, and Spike spins around, mouth open, landing right on his face! His leg overextending, pain coursing through it, Spike tries to crawl away, but Manson is on him in a flash, grabbing him by the injured leg and sitting on his back, locking on an elevated Half Crab, better known as…

 

“The Requiem!” screams Comet, jumping out of his seat. “Citizen Manson is displaying his great submissions ability, sending a message to Max King as we count down to Genesis, and teaching Spike a lesson at the same time!”

 

“I wouldn’t speak to soon if I was you, Lezaire won’t let Manson put this hold on for long.”

 

As if on cue, Lezaire clumsily stumbles through the ropes, desperately trying to get into the ring and charge towards Manson to break the hold. Cross, reacting quickly, easily climbs through the ropes and sprints towards Lezaire, meeting him halfway across the ring with a-

 

*THUD!*

 

-as he connects with a clothesline! The fans cheer as Cross meets Ace with right hands as he whirls back to his feet, backing him towards the ropes as Spike desperately tries to hold on, clawing his fingers into the mat, but Manson easily drags him away from the ropes.

 

Cross takes a few steps backward as he prepares to hit a crushing blow on Lezaire, who has only the ropes to help prop up his dazed self. But as Cross runs forward, Lezaire ducks his head, lifting the former Champion up and over the top rope-

 

*WHAM!*

 

-causing him to crash hard on the concrete floor! Almost instantaneously, as Harding gets in Spike’s face, asking him the question-

 

*DING! DING! DING!*

 

“RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“He taps!” yells Comet, overjoyed. “Citizen Jenkins, his leg injured trying to hit the Tidal Wave, had to tap to Manson’s finishing maneuver, and now Lezaire faces two men on his lonesome! This is the happiest day of my life!”

 

“What did I say about speaking to soon, huh Freak?”

 

Comet wonders what Riley means by that as he turns back to the in-ring action, only to find Manson leap to his feet, enthused by the fans reaction, turning around to find his final opponent, but-

 

*KICK! WHAM!*

 

“STUN… ACE CRUSHER!” Riley yells as Manson hits the canvas, Lezaire taking him by the legs and flipping over into a bridged pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

*DING! DING! DING!*

 

“Manson is now eliminated!” Riley happily reports, finally finding something to crow about. “And now it’s a one-on-one situation with David Cross and Ace Lezaire, and I think we know how that’ll end, just like Storm…”

 

“Oh poppycock!” Comet retorts, “That was a three way match, and Ace only won because he exploited that fact, blindsiding Cross like the lying, cheating villain like he is! But now it’s one on one, and Cross is NOT happy!”

 

Indeed, Cross is furious as he slides back into the ring, watching Manson roll out of the ring, heading up the ramp, and Lezaire jump up and down like an excited Rabbit who had just won the Rabbit lottery. Cross decides to play it smart, leaning forward-

 

”YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

-and lifting Lezaire high into the air, Electric Chair style!

 

“There’s only one way to go from here, and that’s down!” Comet happily cries, while Riley furiously shakes his head, pleading with Ace to counter…

 

… Which he does in an instant, pushing himself off Cross shoulders and grabbing him around the waist with a victory roll!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHRRRREEEEEEEEE-

 

NO! Cross powers out, but only just! The Canadian twirls back to his feet, expecting to have the upper hand, but Cross is up and ready to meet him with a right hand! Dazed and confused, Lezaire is sent hurtling into the ropes, bouncing back off the strands, but only narrowly avoiding a Lariat from Cross!

 

“See, he’s just too smart, too cunning for his opponents Comet, he knows exactly what they’re going to…”

 

… but before Riley can finish that sentence, Lezaire bounces off the opposite ropes, as Cross smiles at him, causing the Canadian to gulp as-

 

*BAM!*

 

-he has his head taken clean off with a Yazuka kick!

 

“LET’S GO CROSS! LET’S GO CROSS! LET’S GO CROSS!”

 

“You know Bobbo; you should never speak too soon!” teases Comet, causing Riley to groan and his head hit the desk as Cross covers Lezaire for what has to be the victory!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHHRRRRRRRREEEEEEE…

 

 

 

NOOOO! Lezaire rolls a shoulder off the mat, and he’s still in this match! Riley brings his head back up, saying “I never lost faith in the boy. Never.”

 

Lezaire thanks his lucky stars as he climbs back onto two wobbly feet, but again, Cross meets him, kicking him square in the gut and doubling him over. The former footballer and USJL champion takes delight in shoving Lezaire into a standing Headsicssors, causing the fans to go wild once again!

 

“Citizen Cross is going to hit the Black Mass!” cries Comet. “What better way to stamp his claim on the title than to defeat the champion just a few weeks before they’ll meet again at Genesis!”

 

The crowd is buzzing as Cross brings Lezaire up onto his broad shoulders, leaving him there for all the fans too see…

 

But Lezaire proves to be too slippery for Cross, and falls behind him, landing safely on his feet! As he does, Jet leaps onto the ring apron and into action, trying to get into the ring (or at least pretending to) while Jefferson Harding forces her back, getting into a war of words with the fiery maiden.

 

ACE CAM!

Unbeknownst to Harding and Cross, Spike reaches under the ropes and slides Lezaire his USJL title. The Canadian greedily clutches it in hands, giving a weak thumbs up and a wink to Steve’s camera, before…

ACE CAM!

 

…Cross turns back around, trying to locate his foe, but he’s a second too late as Lezaire lunges forward with the title in both hands-

 

*BAM!*

 

-hitting Cross with the gold right between the eyes, bringing the big man crashing down! The fans can’t believe what they’re seeing and appeal to Harding, but he can’t hear them, still arguing with Jet. Once she sees Cross staring up at the lights, she innocently drops back down to the floor, as she and Spike begin to walk up the ramp way, albeit with a slight limp. In the ring, Lezaire hooks Cross by the leg as both Jet and Spike lift their arms into the air, counting the pin along with the fans

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

 

*DING! DING! DING!*

 

Hyper Music kicks up as the fans boo as loud as they can, but they can’t drown out Funyon who reports, “The winner of this match, the team of Ace Lezaire, Spike Jenkins and TOXXIC!”

 

His announcement almost causes a riot as Lezaire rolls out of the ring, smiling gleefully as he hugs his title, escaping up the ramp way as Cross begins to come to, just beginning to realize what has happened.

 

”This is a travesty!” Comet yells. “The evil Canadian/Revolution Zero alliance wins this match, but only thanks to some underhanded tactics!”

 

“Underhanded yet effective,” replies Riley, a smile from ear to ear. “Cross wants the USJL title, and Ace gave it to him… RIGHT IN THE FACE, REALLY HARD!”

 

“Yes, we get it Robert…” Comet responds with a groan, looking on with a glum expression as he watches the victorious team head up the ramp way, and Cross left in the ring, pondering what might have been, and what the future holds, with Ace Lezaire square in his sights as the show

 

 

 

Fades out…

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

Nice show. Read the four promos. They're all very compelling.

 

Card will be up soon, though I think it will be mainly a promo op. with just a couple of matches. PM me for any last-minute requests.