19 Years of Isolation Have Left Me Socially Inept

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I echo the sentiments of everyone in this thread. Except Banky.

 

I'm quite inept when it comes to carrying conversation, talking to people I don't know, and so on, but even I could make friends when I was attending classes at the local college. And I'm fucking socially retarded.

Whats wrong with the Liars?

[Guest Nanks]

I have a feeling it's more common than uncommon from memory. Mind you I find the whole concept ridiculous that one can drive a car unaccompanied at 16 but can't have a beer until 5 years later. But that's not really on-topic.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Believe me, Nanks. That law doesn't keep minors from drinking. It keeps minors from drinking in bars. This in turn keeps drunk guys out of jail, as the addition of drunk teens in a bar would make statutory rape charges skyrocket. Besides, once a person turns 21, no one even gives a fuck about it, so it's not going to change.

[Guest Nanks]

Well of course it doesn't keep teens from drinking, what it does keep them from is gaining experience drinking in a public setting and how one should act in such a situation. The vast majority of 19/20 year olds I saw in Canada were simply incapable of drinking in public and completely unversed in the general etiquette of clubbing/pubbing and I can't help but blame that on the fact that they've not had the opportunity up to this point in their lives.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

That's their own fault then. Around here, we do bonfire parties with many kegs of brew, or camping trips. Granted, it teaches nothing of a club atmosphere since it's either in a cornfield, someone's back yard, or the woods, but social drinking is the order of the day at one of those. I'm sure rural canadians can do the same. All they need is someone's older brother or cousin to buy the beer.

[Guest Nanks]

It wasn't the Canadians who caused the trouble, 19's the legal age there. Only one year later than Australia. It was the 19/20 year old Americans who came up to Canada to drink who didn't know how to handle themselves.

[The Czech Republic 0]

There are so many jokes I wish I could've made in class that always just came a second too late.

 

Well the jerk store called, they're running out of you!

Did I offend you with my Power Rangers jab? I'm sorry

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

I have a feeling it's more common than uncommon from memory. Mind you I find the whole concept ridiculous that one can drive a car unaccompanied at 16 but can't have a beer until 5 years later. But that's not really on-topic.

I for one know that I don't want a bunch of damn teens running around a pub or bar. They're annoying enough everywhere else.

[Guest Olympic Slam]

Back on topic ---->

 

Spman, I understand what you're going through. I had a breakthrough while watching Wrestlemania 19 at a friend of a friend's house in 2003. During the Austin-Rock match I realized "My God, wrestling is fucking stupid........why the hell did I practically spend THREE years of my life doing nothing but watching and talking about this crap??"

 

I realized that video games and WWE weren't going to get me anywhere other than retarding my social skills. Sure I had very good friends, but once I started to see them less and less and Friday nights became me and my PC night, I realized that I had backed myself into a corner with the hobbies I had chosen.

 

I've since grown out of wrestling ect, and I've tried to make myself a more well-rounded person. Think of the lifestyle I lived and the one YOU live as a remote island. Get off that island the INSTANT you start to feel trapped. Get to the mainland and find out what average people like to do. If you'e looking to just make small talk, sports and alcohol are always winners. Replace Chris Benoit with knowing who LaDainian Tomlinson is and why he's awesome. Replace Nintendo with a hobby with that will result in meeting people. I play hockey (and I'm quite good at it) so that helps me meet people easily. Remember, the PS2 is fun with friends but it won't get you any friends.

 

Male friendships almost always either start out as or are rooted in similiar hobbies and activities. That's the ticket. Or, just drink and drink a lot. That takes care of the middle man. If you're not into that, then you may have to concede to a nerdy lifestyle. There are lots of collectible card games that are tragically dorky, but you'll meet tons of people who have the same interest. Plus you'll always have something to do/talk about. Don't expect to ever have sex though.

 

Most importantly of all, what are you looking for? I know your'e frustrated and you're probably thinking that you want ANYTHING other than what you got right now (been there done that.) But you have to have a goal in mind. Mindless depression solves nothing......

Do you want to make good friends?

Do you just want to meet people like yourself?

Do you want to just hang out with people?

Do you want a girlfriend?

Do you want to get involved with a more socially acceptable hobby? You have to have a plan. If you just want to improve your social skills then you need to realize that everyone is probably dumber than you are. Don't be intimidated. Remember this: "What other people think of me is none my business."

 

Go out and practice talking to people; especially really really hot girls. Buy some new clothes that make you feel more confident. Put the Nintendo in the closet and do something, ANYTHING that makes you feel good about yourself. Everytime I score a hat trick in a game, I'm on a confidence high for the next couple of days. No video game or Benoit match (no matter how entertaining) will make you feel good about yourself when you're trying to talk to a hot chick; it only adds more and more doubt. Take up jogging, weighlifting, or anything that gives you a sense of accomplishment. If you feel good about yourself, you'll have confidence. If you're confident in yourself, small talk with people will eventually come naturally.

[Jobber of the Week 0]

I believe that people in college are generally much less assholes than people in Middle and High School.

 

I was such a punching bag in Junior High that I escaped by basically begging my parents and school counselors about getting into a private school. I can walk around on a college campus without people trying to kill me. I assume if I approached people, they might actually talk back.

[Guest Shoes Head]

In Arie de Geau's book "THe Living Company" - he makes a point that hundreds of years ago, we all knew eachother in small little communities. A simple last name told your entire family history. These communities have disappeared, and the reason why is that these communities are now our workplaces.

 

Point being, it's easy to make friends at your job. There's always a post work get-together where you can stick your dick in the office slut and get plastered with the copy machine guys. Unless you're a spoiled college brat who still gets a spending allowance from mommy and daddy and you don't have to work while you're in college.

 

In that case you're still fucked.

[JJMc 0]

Connecticutt has vertical DLs?  Weird

Several states use vertical Drivers' Licenses for Under 21s. California and Washington do too off the top of my head.

We have those shits in Massachusetts, too. It's so the cops don't have to do the fucking math on your birthdate. The funny part is, if you get your license when you're, say, 19, it doesn't expire until you're 24, so you have a vertical license that says you're underage when you're not.

[Guest Quik]

Uh... stop being a little bitch. Unless you have a weird growth or scars all over your body there's really no reason to not interact with anyone. I mean, c'mon. I'm a fucking lazy bastard, and I hate everything. But even I end up with 40 people crammed in my apartment every weekend while I get shitty and socialize. So stop being a bitch and drop this self-enforced "I'm all alone, no one understands me" bullshit. Just go outside.

[Only The Strong Survive 0]

Rhode Island uses vertical licenses for people under 18, but you're not a legal adult here until 21.

 

[Guest jonnyboy]

california does not use vertical licenses for anyone.

[spman 0]

Thanks for the advice guys, I'l definitly keep it in mind while I re-evaluate my current lifechoices.