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The Surreal Life

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Am I the only person who watches this show? The new season has taught me several things:

 

1. Charo has Michael Jackson's nose. I don't know how... but she does. And she talks just like my Portugese Grandmother

 

2. Ryan Starr is skinny as hell. I'd nail that bitch. Did she ever actually get famous? I just remember the fat black dude and the skinny white dude from American Idol.

 

3. Years of alcohol abuse and heavy smoking (combined with time) have ravaged and raped Bridgette Nielson's looks and mind. Unfortunately, she does not know nor realize this. No one wants to see that bitch naked. Except Flava Flav.

 

4. Flava Flav has probly smoked more crack than anyone on earth. And I think he's retarded. He makes me miss Public Enemy.

 

5. Jordan Knight is blander than Matt Morgan. I think he had to postpone his suicide to appear on this series. Has he done anything since he was in New Kids on the Block?

 

6. Dave Coulier is the biggest pussy on earth. Uncle Joey has no balls. I am amazed at how much of a family-friendly, P.C.-bitch he is. On the bright side, I think he may go crazy and kill someone before the finale.

 

So, what does everyone else think?

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Star is not skinny, is rather good looking, and is not at the Olsen Twin "I need rehab" level yet.

 

The show as a whole is boring and I will only watch reruns during the week day when VH1 is not showing I Love the Clipshow marathons.

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