Klingons are voting for Kerry

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

(I don't think this qualifies for CE.. so here goes)

 

http://198.107.45.79/story.php?story=5539

 

Klingons for Kerry

EXCLUSIVE: Straw-poll shocker! Fierce warrior race strongly backs Democrat.

 

Even as John Kerry struggles to establish national-security credentials nationally, an exclusive WW straw poll shows his campaign dominating one skeptical, warlike demographic: Klingons.

 

The poll, conducted when the DVD release of the Star Trek fan documentary Trekkies 2 attracted Portland's Klingon community to Tower Records on Southeast 102nd Avenue, may spell trouble for President George W. Bush.

 

The incumbent has staked his campaign on the war on terror. But those who speak the language of the Trek warrior race--known to disdain dishonor, or quvHa'ghach--seem alienated by Iraq and other issues.

 

According to the poll of eight local Klingons, a whopping 75 percent support the Democratic nominee.

 

Two Klingons polled--or 25 percent--said they planned to write in Satan.

 

Bush scored an abysmal zero percent in the poll.

 

"A good war is based on honor, not deception," says K'tok (Earth name: Clyde Lewis), a 40-year-old Klingon from Lair Hill. "The first warrior, President Bush, deceived us all with this war."

 

Portland Klingon speakers are increasingly influential. Last year, Multnomah County's mental-health services opened a search for a Klingon interpreter to work with speakers of the language.* Though the Klingons polled all appeared to be registered voters, they emulate an unfamiliar political system.

 

"On the home world, if there had been a contested election between Gore and Bush, the honorable thing would be for Gore to kill Bush," explained Khraanik (Earth name: Jason Lewis), a 38-year-old from Southeast Portland. "Or the other way around. And then ascend to the head of the High Council."

 

It's too early for Kerry to chill the ceremonial bloodwine, but Portland Klingons are clearly warming to the cerebral Massachusetts Democrat.

 

"Kerry has shown his prowess," says 33-year-old Neqha (Earth name: Eric King) of Tigard. "He saved his fellow warrior under the gun, and has been commended and awarded medals."

 

Neither the Bush nor Kerry campaigns were immediately available for comment on the poll results.

 

--Dominic Luxford with Zach Dundas

 

[* No, we're not making this up.]

 

well.. I hope they vote absentee, or there's a Star Trek convention near each polling place so lure them out to vote.

[Nighthawk 0]

You know, nobody wants to vote for Kerry except crazy idiots.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

the vast majority of American voters are crazy idiots

 

maybe these guys are just bleeding-heart Klingons

[Guest CronoT]

(I don't think this qualifies for CE.. so here goes)

 

http://198.107.45.79/story.php?story=5539

 

Klingons for Kerry

EXCLUSIVE: Straw-poll shocker! Fierce warrior race strongly backs Democrat.

 

Even as John Kerry struggles to establish national-security credentials nationally, an exclusive WW straw poll shows his campaign dominating one skeptical, warlike demographic: Klingons.

 

The poll, conducted when the DVD release of the Star Trek fan documentary Trekkies 2 attracted Portland's Klingon community to Tower Records on Southeast 102nd Avenue, may spell trouble for President George W. Bush.

 

The incumbent has staked his campaign on the war on terror. But those who speak the language of the Trek warrior race--known to disdain dishonor, or quvHa'ghach--seem alienated by Iraq and other issues.

 

According to the poll of eight local Klingons, a whopping 75 percent support the Democratic nominee.

 

Two Klingons polled--or 25 percent--said they planned to write in Satan.

 

Bush scored an abysmal zero percent in the poll.

 

"A good war is based on honor, not deception," says K'tok (Earth name: Clyde Lewis), a 40-year-old Klingon from Lair Hill. "The first warrior, President Bush, deceived us all with this war."

 

Portland Klingon speakers are increasingly influential. Last year, Multnomah County's mental-health services opened a search for a Klingon interpreter to work with speakers of the language.* Though the Klingons polled all appeared to be registered voters, they emulate an unfamiliar political system.

 

"On the home world, if there had been a contested election between Gore and Bush, the honorable thing would be for Gore to kill Bush," explained Khraanik (Earth name: Jason Lewis), a 38-year-old from Southeast Portland. "Or the other way around. And then ascend to the head of the High Council."

 

It's too early for Kerry to chill the ceremonial bloodwine, but Portland Klingons are clearly warming to the cerebral Massachusetts Democrat.

 

"Kerry has shown his prowess," says 33-year-old Neqha (Earth name: Eric King) of Tigard. "He saved his fellow warrior under the gun, and has been commended and awarded medals."

 

Neither the Bush nor Kerry campaigns were immediately available for comment on the poll results.

 

--Dominic Luxford with Zach Dundas

 

[* No, we're not making this up.]

 

well.. I hope they vote absentee, or there's a Star Trek convention near each polling place so lure them out to vote.

See, kids? This is why too much television is bad for you.

[razazteca 0]

The Bush family has dishonored the House of the Republic.......they must go.

[razazteca 0]

(I don't think this qualifies for CE.. so here goes)

 

http://198.107.45.79/story.php?story=5539

 

Klingons for Kerry

EXCLUSIVE: Straw-poll shocker! Fierce warrior race strongly backs Democrat.

 

Even as John Kerry struggles to establish national-security credentials nationally, an exclusive WW straw poll shows his campaign dominating one skeptical, warlike demographic: Klingons.

 

The poll, conducted when the DVD release of the Star Trek fan documentary Trekkies 2 attracted Portland's Klingon community to Tower Records on Southeast 102nd Avenue, may spell trouble for President George W. Bush.

 

The incumbent has staked his campaign on the war on terror. But those who speak the language of the Trek warrior race--known to disdain dishonor, or quvHa'ghach--seem alienated by Iraq and other issues.

 

According to the poll of eight local Klingons, a whopping 75 percent support the Democratic nominee.

 

Two Klingons polled--or 25 percent--said they planned to write in Satan.

 

Bush scored an abysmal zero percent in the poll.

 

"A good war is based on honor, not deception," says K'tok (Earth name: Clyde Lewis), a 40-year-old Klingon from Lair Hill. "The first warrior, President Bush, deceived us all with this war."

 

Portland Klingon speakers are increasingly influential. Last year, Multnomah County's mental-health services opened a search for a Klingon interpreter to work with speakers of the language.* Though the Klingons polled all appeared to be registered voters, they emulate an unfamiliar political system.

 

"On the home world, if there had been a contested election between Gore and Bush, the honorable thing would be for Gore to kill Bush," explained Khraanik (Earth name: Jason Lewis), a 38-year-old from Southeast Portland. "Or the other way around. And then ascend to the head of the High Council."

 

It's too early for Kerry to chill the ceremonial bloodwine, but Portland Klingons are clearly warming to the cerebral Massachusetts Democrat.

 

"Kerry has shown his prowess," says 33-year-old Neqha (Earth name: Eric King) of Tigard. "He saved his fellow warrior under the gun, and has been commended and awarded medals."

 

Neither the Bush nor Kerry campaigns were immediately available for comment on the poll results.

 

--Dominic Luxford with Zach Dundas

 

[* No, we're not making this up.]

 

well.. I hope they vote absentee, or there's a Star Trek convention near each polling place so lure them out to vote.

See, kids? This is why too much television is bad for you.

The next step is to get the Borg to vote for Kerry, since the Borg share the same conscience.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

We're probably already part of the Borg

[razazteca 0]

Resistence is futile, be prepared to be assilimated.......and all of the propaganda is the truth, Micheal Moore is never wrong.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

Except for the time that he supported Nader

[Guest BDC]

No, it cannot be decided this way.

 

They must face one another in the challenge of the ancient rite of blood challenge. Bat'leths each, TO THE DEATH.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

John Kerry sold out America to the Klingon Federation, that bastard!

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

I fully plan on writing-in Hulk Hogan.

[AndrewTS 0]

"there's a Star Trek convention near each polling place so lure them out to vote."

 

Republicans should send attractive women to stand out in front to scare them away.

[Slayer 0]

Baruk'h t'hal!