A friend of mine got arrested this morning

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Around midnight, my jackass friend Hernandez needed to go pick up his Explorer and asked me for a ride. I didn't want to do it, but I did it so he would stop whining. So my other friend Tony comes along and we finally get there and we wasted like an hour driving around the city because Hernandez's friend Jenny was late in dropping off the vehicle in some neighborhood I never went to before. Hernandez was the one who let her use it and of course I was pissed because I didn't want to come to the realization knowing I had wasted all that time just for nothing and Jenny wasn't answering her cell phone so that even got me even more fumed up.

 

Hernandez guesses Jenny is just ignoring him for some reason so we decide to drop by a local gas station so he can call her on the pay phone. He makes the call and gets nothing, I'm just standing there waiting while Tony went inside to take a piss. So we're both standing there and this black Explorer drives by down the street and Hernandez has that look on his face like he saw a ghost or something and said that might have been it. And I'm like "No way, they couldn't have been your vehicle." So Hernandez says lets go, I honk the horn so Tony can get in the car and off we go speeding after it and sure enough, it turns out it was the Explorer and it was close to the place it was originally supposed to be at so Hernandez is like "lets go there."

 

So finally Jenny drops by it, Hernandez is pissed because it wasn't there orignally at the time it was supposed to be, I'm pissed because I'm tired and still is disbelief I had to do all that running around the city just to make sure Jenny didn't drop it off at other points Hernandez likes to go to. So Hernandez goes to his vehicle, doesn't even fucking thank me after doing that for him when I didn't have to, and he takes off and I tell Tony, "Watch. I bet you he gets pulled over." just to joke around.

 

So its 2:00 AM in the morning, we wanted some Taco Bell and the fucker just closed so I'm pissed about that, we get on the highway and sure enough Hernandez was pulled for speeding so I pull over in front of the Explorer and the cop car to talk to the officer. Turns out he didn't even have any ID on him, no drivers license, no proof of insurance, nothing. It also turns out he had a few warrants on him for traffic violations or something, the cop told me I could bail him for $512 which of course I didn't have so Hernandez gets to spend the rest of the cozy morning in jail and I'm thinking to myself, "Hernandez you fucking idiot."

 

So as I'm talking to him through the police car window, he asks one last favor which was to drive the Explorer back to the neighborhood we came from and I didn't mind because sure enough if the vehicle by itself, it would get fucked up by vandals and what not. And its a nice vehicle so of course I didn't want anything to happen to it. So luckily with Tony being there, he drove it there after following me, we dropped it off, and we just got back. I'm so tired now. Altogether, it was a shitty experience, but the fact I jinxed him will be something I'll never forget. I'm going to bed now.

[Golgo 13 0]

Even if I had the money I wouldn't have bailed him out. Let him rot for being a pain in the ass.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I was expecting something more -- like a bar fight...

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Oh that crazy Hernandez, what wacky scheme will he get into next?

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Next week on DEON~!

 

Hernandez gets wrapped up in an illegal smuggling scheme with what he thinks is cocaine but it's really just plain old baby powder. How will Hernandez satisfy the thirst of the hungry cokemonkeys who he promised a shipment of Columbias finest? Will Deon end up bailing him out? Tune in next week!

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

..And. With Hernandez up to his neck in crack-related trouble, Jenny finds herself alone at Tonys party. Deon can't help but look-on as the always-horny Tony takes advantage of the situation and slips Jenny a nice tall glass of date rape drug cocktail. Will Deon cock-block, or will he film? Find out on the next exciting episode of DEON!

[Lord of The Curry 0]

That episode has really close tie-ins to an earlier episode when somebody called Tony "The GHB King" and Deon looked clueless. Will Deon realize his error in order to save Jenny from certain dry-humping doom? FIND OUT~!

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Previously on DEON...

 

Tony said he was going to take a leak, but as his friends waited in the car what he was really doing was scoring some GHB for his party later-on. His dealer, Fernandez, said he was all out but Tony knew better. A switchblade and 1 testicle later, Tony had his fun pills and was ready for the time of his life. On-the-other-side-of-town, Jake -Deons older brother- was doing his routine at the local Man Club, wishing he were somewhere else at the moment...

[DerangedHermit 0]

DEON will not be seen tonight, as it has been cancelled. Now stay tuned for a very special episode of THE DAVE COULIER SHOW!

[rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0]

-NEW- on TSM in October.

 

Dames And The Ladies

 

Damien Gonzalez plays "Dames" a loveable cockney charmer who tries to balance his love for Agatha with his insatiable bloodlust for menstuating hookers. Also stars Tom Selleck.

 

There's Something About Banky

 

Loveable cockney Banky (played by Jeff Canuck) gets up to mischief in 18th century Moscow as he searches for his friend Bob's missing cocaine while avoiding probe-happy customs officer Vlad. Will it be sink or swim for our lovable hero? Find out here first!

 

Where's Fooster?

 

Loveable cockney Dr Tom searches the pubs of Scotland searching for the mysterious Fooster, in hopes that we can discover his secret of eternal youth.

 

And many, many more!