SWF Storm

Thoth · October 9, 2004

‘Welcome to SWF Late Night. The following broadcast may contain strobe lighting effects, strong language and images that may be unsuitable for younger viewers, particularly if they have an aversion to big sweaty men in skintight shorts.’

FIVE…

FOUR…

THREE…

TWO…

ONE…

…SWF STORM IS ON THE AIR!!

*BOOOOM!! BANG! BANG! BANG! BUH-BUH-BUH-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!*

“RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!”

“Welcome, Citizens, to the SOLD OUT Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon!” Cyclone Comet booms as the cameras pan around, taking in signs like ‘BORT!’, ‘I’M MADDIXTED TO MEGAN!’ and ‘I CAME TO SEE THE UNCLE FILTHY SHOW!!’. “We are coming off an amazing show on Smarkdown which saw the debuts of no less than three new SWF superstars, as well as a 6-person tag match which saw the team of Hollywood Boulevard and Andrea Montgomery take on Spike Jenkins, Max King and Toxxic!”

“And needless to say, Toxxic’s team won,” Riley interjects.

“Perhaps Robert, but the fall of Revolution Zero also began as Sean Davis lost his Hardcore Title to Chris Fury,” Comet counters, “and tonight Davis and Jenkins have to defend their tag belts against the team of Fury and David Cross!”

“Fury and Cross?” Riley asks. “Christ, what’s their tag name going to be - ‘Really Really Angry’?”

“But biggest of all,” Comet continues, “tonight we will see Mike Van Siclen take on the World Heavyweight Champion Toxxic in a Title vs Career match-up, after the two men had a heated exchange in the ring on Smarkdown!”

“Oh yes,” Riley chuckles gleefully. “Tell me Comet, do you think that Mike can win?”

“Well, with his career on the line I believe that Citizen Van Siclen will pull out the effort of a lifetime and defeat the so-called Straight-Edge Sensation-”

But Comet is cut off by the Smarktron going white and the opening chord of ‘Rookie’ by Boy Sets Fire crashing out across the Rose Garden. The screen darkens to black, and as it does jagged white letters flash up a familiar phrase:

‘PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG…’

[“You knew that was coming, didn’t you?” hisses Comet.]

[“I must admit, the production crew do have an unerring sense of timing,” Riley grins back.]

As the guitar riff starts the black screen changes to become the top of a spiky-haired head that raises and stares out with piercing grey eyes before a lopsided grin creases the right-hand side of Toxxic's face. The bass drum starts and clips of his matches flash up - the All-Show Brawl with the Insane Luchador, the infamous Glass Jawbreaker on Aecas, dropping Nathaniel Kibagami on his head with the Caffeine Bomb and the Super Intoxxication that won him the World Title before moving onto footage - and how appropriate it is, for tonight's show - of Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the four blast of red pyro that climb the entrance ramp before the final, stagewide eruption as the main riff starts-

*BAM-BAM-BAM-bap-BOOOM!!*

-that announces the arrival of the SWF's premier straight-edger! The smoke starts to drift to one side, and suddenly at the top of the entrance ramp is the familiar figure of the SWF World Champion, title belt slung over one shoulder and wearing his customised England soccer shirt - with the letters 'sXe' over the number 9 on the back - in honour of his home country playing Wales tomorrow in the World Cup Qualifiers.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Funyon booms, "making his way to the ring at this time; the leader of Revolution Zero and the SWF WORLD... HEAVYWEIGHT... CHAMPION... the 'Straight-Edge Sensation'; TOXXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!"

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

The fastest-rising wrestler in SWF history reaches the ring and rolls under the bottom ropes, then springs up to his feet and calls for the microphone from Funyon. The veteran ring announcer hesitates a moment before passing it over, and 'Rookie' fades out as Toxxic cracks his neck from side to side and takes up position in the centre of the ring; one black-nailed hand resting on the World Title, weight resting on foot - completely comfortable.

“Nathaniel Kibagami used to have an excerpt from the Art of War that came up before his entrance,” Toxxic begins in conversational tones.

“SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”

“I don’t remember it exactly, but it was something about being invincible,” the World Champion states, looking around. “Of course, we all know how inappropriate that turned out… nevertheless, there is another maxim of warfare that I have found useful:

‘The only risk worth taking is one that can do more damage to your enemy than to yourself’.”

The Straight-Edge Sensation looks around at the Oregon crowd and grins lopsidedly. Tonight, Toxxic looks completely, supremely confident.

“I don’t know if Mike Van Siclen ever heard that adage; if he did, he forgot it on Smarkdown when he challenged me to this match tonight,” Toxxic states. “You’re gambling everything on one big throw of the dice, Mike. But this isn’t the Casino Brawl, and tonight luck won’t be on your side.”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

“If you lose,” the straight-edger continues, “you have to retire from the SWF. No ifs, no buts, nothing. You will be gone, and one more obstacle in the path of the Revolution will go with you.”

“BOU-LE-VARD!”

“Against this, you have to weigh your chance of defeating me and winning the World Title,” Toxxic concedes, “and that is a powerful lure to every athlete here. Not only will this mean a great deal to you Mike, due to the immense prestige of this title - you also think that by dethroning me you will somehow slow me down, that you will be able to damage the Revolution.”

Toxxic stops for a moment, and the lopsided grin widens.

“Unfortunately sunshine, you are dead wrong.”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“You see, I am not like the other World Champions we’ve had this year,” the Straight-Edge Sensation says. “If you manage to beat me, Mike - and after all, Johnny Dangerous managed it so it’s not beyond the realms of possibility - then I will not retire. I will not go to my room and sulk. I will not go on a six-month sabbatical to AJPW. I will stay right here in the SWF, and I will fight to get this title back!.”

The familiar grin has dropped from Toxxic’s face, and even the most disrespectful fans start to become aware that the Brit has finished joking around now.

“If I have to go through every single bloody wrestler on this roster to get a rematch, I will do it,” Toxxic states, “and you know very well that I am capable of doing just that. I won’t care how long it might take, and if you lose the title before I get back to you - well, I’ll take you out and then move on past you to whoever has it.”

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

“Ultimately, you’re gambling on a surefire loss, Mike,” Toxxic says. “If you win, I come back for you. If you lose, you sink without trace. Your risk will not pay off, and I think it will make life easier for you - and everyone else in the SWF - the sooner you understand the simple truth about me.”

The Straight-Edge Sensation rakes the crowd with his grey eyes, seemingly daring any of the SWF superstars to step out and stand against him.

“In the long run, you cannot beat me,” the World Champion tells the Rose Garden simply. “The best you can do… is put off losing for a little while longer.”

With that, Toxxic drops the microphone to the canvas and rolls under to the ringropes before making his way up the ramp, as we:

FADE OUT

Thoth · October 9, 2004

The scene opens with an interior shot of the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon. A majority of the soon-to-be-capacity crowd are already in their seats but there are still several noticably empty areas. Funyon enters the ring as a steady stream of fans enter the arena.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to SWF Storm!”

A cheer goes up from the crowd.

“Tonight’s first contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from Parts Unknown...standing six feet five inches tall and weighing in at three-hundred and seven pounds...CARNAGE!”

The houselights dim, and the rafters shake with the booming bassline of Drowning Pool’s “Bodies”. White fog billows out from the entryway as Carnage stalks out with death in his eyes. Black light beams up from the base of the entryway rigging, casting an eerie glow on the fog and Carnage’s torn white t-shirt. Carnage stalks toward the ring, snarling behind his mask and completely ignoring the mixed, somewhat faint reaction he gets from the crowd.

“...and his opponent, from The Magical World of Your Imagination, he stands six feet two inches tall, weighs in at two-hundred and fifty-six pounds, and is accompanied to the ring by Gorilla Pete and Cap’n Plundah...UNCLE FILTHY!”

The instrumental Jazz from Hell version of “Let’s Make the Water Turn Black” begins playing over the PA as a single white spotlight hits the entrance ramp. Uncle Filthy’s voice echoes through the arena...

“WHADDAYA SAY, KIDS!?”

A few people actually do respond this time, shouting back...

“UNCLE!”

Uncle Filthy strides out into the spotlight, waving to the crowd as Cap’n Plundah and Gorilla Pete dance out on opposite sides of him. All three run to the ring (to moderate cheers from the crowd), with Gorilla Pete and Cap’n Plundah staying at ringside while Uncle Filthy takes his corner. He unbuttons his sweater to reveal a ratty old white Sting t-shirt. The musician Sting.

Carnage lunges at Uncle Filthy, catching him by surprise before he can even leave his corner.

Comet: Despite being three inches taller and fifty pounds heavier than Uncle Filthy, Carnage is the more agile competitor! He caught Uncle Filthy before he could even take his sweater off!

Carnage drills a fist into Uncle Filthy’s midsection, staggering him. He hooks him bethind the legs and hoists him up, draping him over his shoulders. As soon as Carnage has Uncle Filthy across his shoulders, he’s already falling back *WHUMP!* slamming onto the canvas with a Samoan drop! A cheer goes up for Carnage as he rolls over and attempts to cover Uncle Filthy...but Uncle Filthy’s already getting up!

Riley: Uncle Filthy can take a surprising amount of punishment – it’s going to take more than one Samoan drop to put him away!

Carnage doesn’t even let Uncle Filthy get to his feet, scooping him up to his feet and racking his body with an abdominal stretch! Uncle Filthy fights the hold, jerking his upper body around trying to break Carnage’s grip. Carnage tries to keep Uncle Filthy under control, but can’t hold the submission on him! Instead, he hooks his hands through Uncle Filthy’s legs, looking for the pumphandle...*WHP!*

“NOBODY GRABS UNCLE FILTHY’S CRANK!”

Uncle Filthy screams, driving a sharp elbow back into Carnage’s chest.

This breaks Carnage’s grip, and Uncle Filthy jumps back, turning around to face Carnage.

*THMP!*

Uncle Filthy fires off a series technically unsound bit high-impact left jabs to Carnage’s face, stomping the mat to make them more powerful. Carnage takes a half-step back, trying to keep his footing. The fans start cheering as Uncle Filthy grabs Carnage’s head and turns him around on his feet, shoving him toward the turnbuckle. Gorilla Pete jumps up and down with joy at ringside as Uncle Filthy braces one hand on the ropes, holds onto the back of Carnage’s head with the other, and yells “COUNTING TIME!”

“WUH”

The fans don’t even get a chance to count to one! Carnage shoots his hand out and, planting it on the turnbuckle, easily blocks the headsmash attempt! He takes a step back, positioning himself behind Uncle Filthy and *WHMP!* bounces his head off the top turnbuckle! Carnage turns Uncle Filthy around and wraps his hands tightly around his throat. Uncle Filthy frantically kicks his legs and grabs at Carnage’s forearms...

*WHUHHMP!!!*

...Carnage turns him around and chokeslams him down! Carnage delivers a massive chokeslam out of the corner, and follows through all the way down to the canvas, dropping to his knees as he plants Uncle Filthy. Uncle Filthy’s body bounces off the mat, but Carnage forces him right back down. Carnage covers Uncle Filthy with a lateral press, hooking both of his legs and pulling his knees in close. Nick Lumas slides in to make the count...

Comet: Carnage with a devastating chokeslam...and Carnage has plenty of time to cover him now!

ONE!

TWO!

THRSHOULDER UP!

Uncle Filthy thrusts his arm up, barely able to move Carnage enough to lift his shoulder off the mat. A cheer goes up for Uncle Filthy. It may be premature, though, as Carnage already has a hand back around his neck!

Comet: Carnage has Uncle Filthy beat already! He may have gotten a shoulder up there, but Carnage has already got him up by the throat again!

Carnage wraps one hand around Uncle Filthy’s throat and grabs the back of his neck with the other. He lifts him back to his feet...then back up into the air! *HWHMP!* Carnage chokeslams Uncle Filthy again! The second chokeslam doesn’t have quite as much power behind it, but it’s clearly effective, as Uncle Filthy’s entire body goes limp on contact with the mat. The cheers and boos for Carnage both get louder, as the crowd audibly begins taking sides. And it’s hard not to side with the guy hitting all the chokeslams. Uncle Filthy isn’t even moving as Carnage covers him, this time only hooking his outside leg.

Riley: Carnage with another cover attempt...

Comet: He knows this match is over. Look at Uncle Filthy – he looks like a burlap sack full of Jell-O!

Nick Lumas drops down to the canvas and starts the count. The cheers for Carnage are getting louder, and nobody’s optimistic enough to start an Uncle Filthy chant this time.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE.-SHOULDERUP!

Uncle Filthy just barely raises his shoulder off the mat. The crowd is in shock. Carnage looks furious – and shoots Nick Lumas a glare that almost melts him. Carnage composes himself enough to wisely cover Uncle Filthy again, hooking both of his legs and pulling his knees in as close as possible, compacting Uncle Filthy on the mat with all of his weight balanced on his shoulders and upper back. Nick Lumas starts the count...

Riley: Smart cover by Carnage...

Comet: Carnage stayed focused on his opponent despite the bad call, despite all the distractions, and he has completely controlled this match! He has the speed advantage, but he’s never even had to use it, he just keeps bouncing Uncle Filthy off the canvas, and this time it doesn’t look like he’s getting up!

ONE!

TWO!

Y’ARRRRRRRRRRR*SPLAT*!

Out of nowhere Cap’n Plundah sails into the ring, hitting a flying splash on nothing, landing less than two feet away from Carnage and Uncle Filthy. The rush of air, sudden shaking of the mat, and cheer going up from the crowd is enough to get Nick Lumas’ attention, and he looks in Cap’n Plundah’s direction, breaking the count. Realizing what happened, he seems unsure what to do.

Comet: What the hell was that!?

Riley: Cap’n Plundah with a desperation save from the top rope...but he missed it!

Comet: What’s the holdup? Disqualify Uncle Filthy!

Carnage lets Uncle Filthy drop to the mat and locks Cap’n Plundah dead-center in his sights. The crowd buzzes during the brief pause, while Lumas consults with someone on his headset. Nick Lumas looks at Cap’n Plundah, who is slowly backing away from Carnage, subtly moving one hand to the hilt of his sword...

Nick Lumas signals...

that the match will continue!

There is a mixed reaction from the crowd, but the cheers seem louder.

Riley: Did Cap’n Plundah intentionally miss that splash? He managed to break up the count without getting Uncle Filthy disqualifed!

Comet: Do you really think a hobo, a pirate and a man in a monkey suit could plan something like that out? This was just a fluke, and a really generous call by Nick Lumas!

Carnage stares at Cap’n Plundah. The Cap’n rethinks pulling his sword and turns to run, but Carnage grabs him by the collar of his pirate shirt. Cap’n Plundah runs in place for a few pointless steps before Carnage pulls him into a single-arm waistlock. Carnage hooks Cap’n Plundah’s leg and lifts him up onto his shoulder, facing him up toward the rafters.

Comet: Cap’n Plundah is about to walk the plank!

Cap’n Plundah flails his arms, trying to fight out of Carnage’s grip, but it’s pointless.

With a sinister grin just visible through the grill of his mask, Carnage bails him ass-first over the ropes with an atomic throw. *WHMP!* There is a flat, wet thump as he falls just short of landing on guardrail, landing flat-backed on the concrete floor with his legs leaned up against the railing. The boos for Carnage are clearly overwhelming the cheers now. The cheers for Carnage are still clearly present, though, getting more isolated but louder.

Riley: He killed Cap’n Plundah!

Carnage turns his attention back to Uncle Filthy who’s actually starting to move!

On the outside, Gorilla Pete circles around the ring to Uncle Filthy, who is slowly making his way to the ropes. Staying on the floor, Gorilla Pete grabs Uncle Filthy by the arms, offering some coach-like “ook”s of support while pulling Uncle Filthy closer to the ropes.

Riley: This is why it pays to have a second at ringside...even if he is wearing a monkey suit.

Comet: (dripping sarcasm) Suit? What suit? All I see is a magical fun-time gorilla pal...who’s pulling Uncle Filthy to the ropes in plain view of the referee!

Uncle Filthy tucks his left hand underneath his sweater, clutching his ribs on the right side, and barely has enough strength to push himself up with the other. He’s able to crawl the few feet to the bottom rope, and he grabs onto it for support. Putting both hands on it, he starts lifting himself up. The cheers for Uncle Filthy are livening up again. There is an audible positive buzz building in the arena.

Comet: Uncle Filthy’s only prolonging his suffering by trying to get up! He can’t even hold himself up, let alone fight! The fans are only making it worse for him by cheering him on!

On the outside, Cap’n Plundah is very slowly starting to get to his feet, swinging his legs down and using the safety rail to pull himself up. Cap’n Plundah winces in pain each time a supportive fan slaps his back or shoulder.

Carnage slowly walks back over to Uncle Filthy, giving him a solid boot to the ribs. He grabs Uncle Filthy’s arms and yanks them off the ropes, then drags him to the center of the ring.

Comet: Carnage making sure nothing can go wrong this time!

Carnage looks down at Uncle Filthy, then steps over him, applying a double chinlock as he sits down hard on his back.

Comet: Carnage has him now! Camel Clutch, right in the center of the ring!

A cheer goes up for Carnage as he applies his finishing maneuver, but there are still some scattered (hopelessly optimistic) fans chanting for Uncle Filthy.

As he sits down, Carnage carefully maneuvers himself to trap Uncle Filthy’s arms behind his knees, making the hold even harder to escape. He thrashes wildly as Carnage pulls back on the chinlock.

Comet: Having Carnage’s weight on his back is doing just as much damage to Uncle Filthy than the chinlock is – Carnage has methodically dismantled his neck and his upper body throughout this match!

Uncle Filthy is screaming with pain and exertion as he thrashes his shoulders from side to side. His shouts are muffled as Carnage torques his head even further back, forcing Uncle Filthy’s jaw completely shut.

Comet: Uncle Filthy needs to tap out, right now! Even he must be lucid enough to take one look at the situation and realize he’s doomed! Even all the helpful elves he sees dancing around Carnage can’t save him now!

Riley: He’s also familiar with the camel clutch from his match with Stryke...I don’t know if he’s completely out of this contest yet...

Uncle Filthy has completely lost it. His eyes are bugged out and darting wildly, and he’s gone from thrashing to convulsing. With one last, defiant stab he thrusts his left elbow back...and Carnage can’t hold on! On the side of the arena that saw this brief sign of life, faint “Un-cle Fil-thy” chants are starting up. This is the same side of the arena that can see him reaching into his open sweater...

“UNCLE FILTHY FRIENDSHIP PUNCH!!”

Uncle Filthy screams the apparent name of the move as he throws a bizarre inward-curving punch with his left hand, one that makes an audible *FWHAP* when it connects with the leather of Carnage’s mask. Surprisingly, Carnage is rocked by the blow, wincing in pain and tensing as if he considered taking a hand off Uncle Filthy’s jaw to clutch his own. The “Un-cle Fil-thy” cheers are getting louder, although the fans that could see Uncle Filthy’s left side now seem a little more divided in their support.

Comet: Well, I saw that coming.

Uncle Filthy thrusts both his arms back as hard as possible, jamming his chin downward at the same time! He breaks the chinlock!

Riley: Carnage couldn’t keep those fingers laced! Uncle Filthy’s free!

The audience doesn’t quite roar in approval, but definitely approves. Unfortunately, Uncle Filthy follows through too hard and rams his chin into the mat. This shock stops him briefly, but not cold.

Comet: Not yet, he isn’t!

Shaking his head, Uncle Filthy adjusts his sweater and briefly clutches his ribs underneath it. Carnage attempts to re-apply the chinlock, but Uncle Filthy tenaciously keeps his chin down. Trying to pry Carnage’s legs out of position with his arms, he throws himself hard to one side! He manages to roll over...and he takes Carnage down with him! Uncle Filthy breaks the camel clutch, but he doesn’t look like he has anything left! Carnage still looks a little stunned, but he’s already on his feet. A clear division is forming in the crowd.

Carnage towers over Uncle Filthy. Grabbing him by the neck and shoulder, he picks him up and turns him over into a standing head-scissors.

Comet: If he’s going for what I think he is...

Uncle Filthy goes limp, slipping through Carnage’s hands and falling face-first on the mat. Carnage grabs him by the waistband of his sweatpants and tries to pull him back up. The sweatpants come up, but Uncle Filthy doesn’t. Fortunately, he’s wearing oversized novelty boxers, emblazoned with surprisingly detailed pot leaves. Unfazed, Carnage tries again to pick him up and...

*HWAAAAH!*

Even Carnage has to yell out in pain in when Uncle Filthy suddenly pops up, driving the back of his head into Carnage’s groin. A cheer goes up from the crowd, laced with scattered boos.

Comet: That’s at least THREE times Carnage should have won this match, and the fans are starting to catch on!

Riley: There’s still a surprising number of people cheering for Uncle Filthy, though!

Comet: Something it will take the world’s best scientists years to explain.

Uncle Filthy catches Carnage square, and he doubles over in pain. Uncle Filthy rolls to the side, and is able to lift himself up to his knees just as Carnage is starting to stand upright. Taking advantage of this, Uncle Filthy lunges and catches Carnage around the neck with a loose side headlock. Carnage tries to power Uncle Filthy up, but, once he’s upright...*WHUMP!*...Uncle Filthy sits down, planting Carnage face-first with a DDT!

Comet: I don’t believe it! Uncle Filthy actually hit a DDT...sort of.

Riley: He didn’t want to throw himself on his back! He lost some of the move’s effectiveness, but he also spared himself another shock to the upper body!

Uncle Filthy tries to hook Carnage’s leg, but doesn’t have the strength to pull his knee in. He makes the cover...

ONE!

TWSHOULDER UP!

Carnage throws Uncle Filthy off with authority! Uncle Filthy scrambles back over, though, and Carnage is still on his hands and knees when Uncle Filthy reaches him! *WHP!* He tags him with a stiff toe kick to the chest. Carnage flinches, *WHP!* almost going down as Uncle Filthy connects with another kick!

Riley: He’s Uncling up!

Comet: (mocking) “Unclin’! He be Unclin’, Tony!”...I give him fifteen seconds.

Carnage is momentarily stunned, long enough for Uncle Filthy to apply another standing side headlock! The “Un-cle Fil-thy” chants are really starting to get going now, as he hooks his far arm underneath Carnage’s hips and tries to lift him up for the Show’s Over, Kids!

Comet: He can’t do it! Uncle Filthy can’t pick him up!

Uncle Filthy looks like he’s about to pop a couple of ribs as he strains to lift Carnage up...and he does! Not high, not well, and not even all the way off the mat, but he lifts Carnage enough to *THWAMP!* drop him on his face with the Show’s Over, Kids! The crowd actually kind of almost starts going wild, as any specific chants for Uncle Filthy are drowned out by general cheering. Uncle Filthy turns Carnage over on his back and covers him with a lateral press! He doesn’t have the strength to pull his legs in properly, but he covers him square across the upper body. Nick Lumas is already in position...

ONE!

TWO!

TH...IN THE ROPES!!

The fans start to cheer, before they notice Nick Lumas signalling “two”. Carnage has a foot on the bottom rope!

Comet: Two-count only! Uncle Filthy hit the Show’s Over, Kids, but it only got TWO on Carnage!

The cheers for Uncle Filthy start to fade, but swell again as he throws his head back and howls “COUNTING TIME!”. He rolls the still-dazed Carnage over onto his stomach and raises his boot up high...

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THREEFOURFIVESIX…”

Uncle Filthy wildly stomps at Carnage’s back, head and neck, with the crowd trying to keep pace counting along.

“SEVEN!”

Uncle Filthy jumps up and delivers a brutal stomp between Carnage’s shoulderblades. Carnage falls to the canvas. Uncle Filthy yells “SEVEN!” again, then straddles the prone Carnage, hooking his arms underneath his shoulders. He wraps his hands around his neck...

Riley: We haven’t seen this move from Uncle Filthy yet, but I think I know what it is...

...and sits all the way down on his back! It’s Naptime! Carnage struggles, but he’s already starting to show the effects of oxygen deprivation. Uncle Filthy is sitting high on his lower back, and Carnage is almost able to throw him off-balance by kicking his legs...but Uncle Filthy holds on tight!

Comet: So do I! It’s a chokehold!

Riley: Carnage is still reeling from that last burst of offense, and now Uncle Filthy’s got him in a compromising position!

Comet: Note that big evil Carnage applied a legal chinlock, but beloved Uncle Filthy’s using a choke.

Riley: I didn’t hear anything from you when Carnage did the same to Uncle Filthy earlier! Uncle Filthy’s got that underhook choke on Carnage, and it looks like Carnage is slowing down!

Carnage’s eyes are closed, and he’s starting to go limp. Nick Lumas comes over to check on Carnage, and Uncle Filthy tries to make the choke look as much like a chinlock as he possibly can. The crowd buzzes as Lumas checks Carnage’s arm.

He lifts it...it falls!

The crowd, still in a counting mood, shouts “ONE!”.

Waiting a second, Nick Lumas lifts Carnage’s arm again...

“TWO!”

Carnage’s arm falls limply, stopped only by Uncle Filthy’s. Lumas holds Carnage’s hand up for a third and final time...

“THREE!”

A significant portion of the crowd cheers as Nick Lumas calls for the bell! Uncle Filthy lets Carnage drop to the mat as Lumas raises his arm. Funyon enters the ring, microphone in hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, UNCLE FILTHY!”

Comet: Yeah, big winner. He choked Carnage into unconsciousness.

Riley: It’s a legitimate finisher, and a legitimate victory! Uncle Filthy took the worst of Carnage’s offense, and he just kept getting back up!

Comet: Yeah, thanks to low blows and pirate interference.

Cap’n Plundah and Gorilla Pete enter the ring. Cap’n Plundah is limping and Uncle Filthy is exhausted and barely able to stand, so Gorilla Pete has to dance three times as hard as “Let’s Make The Water Turn Black” plays over the house speakers.

Edited October 9, 2004 by Thoth

Thoth · October 9, 2004

Maddix: Megan! Megan...hold up!

Rushing through the hallways of the Rose Garden, Landon Maddix is already kitted out in his ring attire...a good while still to go before his ICTV Title rematch is set to get underway. But regardless, he looks ready to go. Right now though, he focus is on Megan Skye who is busy chatting away with a member of the arena staff. Seeing Maddix jogging over, Megan says a hurried goodbye and turns to her man with a smile.

Maddix: Where the hell have you been Megs? I've got a lot on my mind and a lot to prepare for, which isn't being helped by you leaving to have a casual chat with everyone and their mothers. You were meant to be getting me coffee...that was twenty four minutes ago Megan. Twenty-four. I've been counting. I can't afford for yo...

Megan: Landon...calm down would ya?

Maddix: I wouldn't HAVE to calm down if you did what you say you're doing...

Megan sighs and holds her right hand out, passing him a nondiscript white cup. Still looking in a flap, Maddix's eyes dart from cup to Megan and back, before he takes a deep breath to try and calm himself down.

Maddix: Di...

Megan: Don't worry, it's still warm. Oh...and I decided to get you decaf. You look like you need it.

Maddix: ...thanks?

Megan: (chuckling) You'll thank me when you look in the mirror twenty years from now and don't see any stress lines on your forehead or wrinkles on your face. Believe me. Cuts and bruises will heal, but wrinkles take a lot of time and money to deal with. What are you so worried about anyway? This is what you want. A chance at revenge. The chance of a rematch. The chance at getting your ICTV Title back.

Maddix: Yes...but for every chance of glory, there's the chance of me taking a one way trip into a friggin dumpster!

The decaf isn't working, as Maddix seems suddenly flustered again. Megan doesn't seem too sympathetic to his concerns though and just laughs.

Megan: That's not going to happen, don't worry.

Maddix: Yeah...but it COULD! And then you and your collection of woman's magazines are going to have a very busy week trying to get the smell of garbage out of me. Forget all that talk of stress lines and wrinkle lines...I've got something more important than that to worry about. Stress gives you stress lines. What does total and utter embarrassment at being thrown in the trash and smelling of rotten crap give you? I mean...think about this Megan. I've been in Ironman Matches, I've been in Ladder Matches. I fought on stilts. Hell, I've fought in offices and with pies. But I've never been in a position like this. It's a case of me winning, or me looking utterly ridiculous. Not to mention smelling like a tramp. Next thing you know, they'll be putting me in a tag team with that Uncle Filthy guy. The Filthy Twins. That's what they'll call us! And you...you, you'll be Skanky Skye. Is that what you want? Huh?

Megan: Landon, would you let me finish?

Sighing and taking a moment to calm his breathing down, Maddix motions for Megan to continue.

Megan: Remember what happened against Stryke?

Maddix: Yeah, I beat him. I gave him the boot and got the win. Your point?

Megan: ...we always...have a plan.

Finally Maddix's breathing has calmed, the furrow has gone from his brow and slowly but surely...a smile creeps onto his face.

Megan: And besides...if you do lose, just think of the fun it'll be cleaning you up.

Maddix: ...you don't know how tempted I am to throw this match right now and dive into that dumpster head-first myself.

Sharing a smile, Megan and Maddix begin to walk out of shot continuing their conversation out of the camera's sound range...as the feed slowly fades out.

Thoth · October 9, 2004

Evan Wolfe vs rKade to be edited in.

Thoth · October 9, 2004

As Storm comes back from commercial, the camera pans the sold out crowd in the Rose Garden. The packed house does the usual “cheer because the cameras are on” stuff as Comet begins to speak.

“Welcome back, true believers in the SWF. It is I, Cyclone Comet, and with me as always is the impeccably devious Bobby Riley!”

“Hey, you actually said something that only a total comic book geek would get,” replies Riley. “I’m shocked and surprised… Even if I -am- devious, and manipulative too.”

“True,” notes Comet. “However, up next we have two hearty defenders of justice in the form of new Hardcore champion Christian Fury and ’The Fallen Angel’ David Cross taking on the dastardly team of Revolution Zero.”

“I think I’ll take the team who’s said more than two words to each other. Even though Cross and Fury have enough combined angst to make your normal Goth club look like shiny, happy people.” Funyon steps in the ring to the cheers of the capacity crowd.

“The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the SWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES!” Title match pop as the lights darken and the crowd buzzes.

“First, the challengers…” The crowd rises and a few lighters are seen as the creepy beginning to ‘Back on Earth’ starts. A series of highlights from The Fallen Angel’s short career in the SWF start up. A spotlight shines on the entranceway as Ozzy’s voice kicks in and out walk both Cross and Fury, title belts on their persons. The crowd roars its approval as white bursts of mini-pyro go off behind them.

“…at a combined weight of 502 pounds, they are respectively, the SWF Hardcore Gamers and USJL Champion, CHRISTIAN FURRRRRRY and “THE FAAAALLEN ANGEL” DAAAAAAVID CROSS!” Both Fury and Cross head to the ring, ignoring the cheering crowd as they do. Cross, kissing his heirloom cross before handing it over, gives his valuables to the ring attendant. Meanwhile, Fury springboards into the ring. After a moment, he slides the kendo stick out of the ring, along with his jacket and sunglasses. Surveying the crowd with an icy, blue-eyed gaze, he then levels the same gaze at his partner. Cross returns the look and Fury nods.

“Citizens Cross and Fury may not be best friends, but they seem to have an understanding,” says Comet.

“Too bad they’re about to face a well-oiled machine, ready to tear them apart,” replies Riley.

“I highly doubt that either Citizen Cross or Fury can be ‘torn apart’ as you’ve said.”

“Everybody has a weakness, Comet.”

“Their opponents…” Every light in the arena goes full power as the Smarktron whites out. The only sound heard is that of a needle scratching over vinyl... Then a deep voice booms out over the PA system:

'WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION!'

The crashing guitars of 'Battle Ready' by Otep come in… ‘Lightning’ apparently strikes down from the heavens, hitting the stage and causing gold and red pyro blasts to erupt. The Smarktron shows half-second clips of its members' matches as both Spike and Sean come down to the ring, flanked by Marcus Washington. Spike is his usual cocky self, and Sean simply looks at the two opponents in the ring.

“…at a combined weight of 495 pounds, they are two-time and the reigning SWF World Tag Team Champions…SEAN DAVIS…HOLLYWOOD’ SPIKE JENKINS… REVOLUUUUUUTION ZERO!” Both Davis and Jenkins get in the ring to the overwhelming boos of the crowd as Jenkins displays his belt to the crowd. Davis simply hands his over to the referee and, after a few choice words, Spike hands his belt over too.

“Revolution Zero looking confident tonight,” says Comet. “I dare say they’re underestimating Cross and Fury tonight.”

“I don’t think Cross and Fury are exactly at the level of Revolution Zero, or… Hell… Even Wild and Dangerous.”

“We shall see tonight if they can join the illustrious list of SWF tag champions.”

“They have the same chance as Van Sucklin does later on tonight.”

DING! DING! DING!

Cross and Fury confer, then the Hardcore champ enters the ring to face off against ‘Hollywood’, who has entered the ring himself. Both men circle each other for a moment, before locking up to no avail as Fury simply pushes Jenkins into the ropes. The ref counts the break, and Christian breaks cleanly and backs off as Spike shrugs it off, going right back after Fury. Jenkins throws a quick palm thrust, but Fury ducks and nails an elbow to the back of Spike’s head. He takes him down to the mat with a quick drop toehold, then applies a headlock.

“Citizen Fury has the early momentum, but neither man has much of an advantage,” says Comet.

“Jenkins is still feeling out Fury,” replies Riley. “Give him a few minutes and ass kicking can begin.”

“I think Christian is doing the same thing,” says Comet. “After all, he has only been back in the SWF a few weeks, but has been able to win the HGC title over Citizen Davis.”

“Lucky win. The psycho managed to get one lousy win and you act like he’s the comeback kid.” Fury stands back up with the headlock, but Jenkins pushes him off and sends him to the ropes. The former SJL mainstay hits a quick dropkick on Fury, following it up with another dropkick to Fury’s face as he attempts to get up! Jenkins, a smirk on his face, moves in on Fury again, hitting him with a quick kick to the chest… Followed by another stiff one… Then finishes it by backing away and drilling Fury right in the face as the crowd boos lustily!

“See what I told you Comet?” Riley begins as Spike trash talks the downed Fury. “Give a master tactician like Jenkins a few minutes to work things out and see what happens.”

“I somehow doubt that either Citizen Cross or Fury has given up after a simple couple of moves, no matter how impressive they are,” replies Comet.

“It would make it a shorter amount of time until Toxxic ends MVS and his pathetic little career.” Jenkins waits for Fury to get back to his feet, then drills him with a quick palm thrust to the jaw! Fury falls back to the corner and Spike follows that up by charging Fury and sending his arm out at an angle, drilling Christian in the face with a Roaring Elbow!

“SPIKE SUCKS!”

“This crowd here in Portland is not fond of Citizen Jenkins at all,” says Comet as Spike looks down at Fury with a smirk on his face. “I can only imagine how loud it will be when the World Champion walks out here later on this evening.”

“These people also supported Don Owen for decades so I think their opinion means about the same, or as much, to actually talented wrestlers like Revolution Zero as logic means to you, Comet.”

“Or perhaps, a free lap dance means to you Robert?”

“Well, as long as the dancer is packing - err, I mean - uh - damn you, Comet!” Comet quietly chuckles as the booing crowd just grows louder. Cross looks on, still stone-faced while Washington hyperactively pounds on the mat, cheering Spike on. Spike goes to the corner to wait for Fury to rise again. Christian gets to his feet, a little shaken, and turns around to see Jenkins explode from the corner, extending his legs out for a super kick! Only a slight problem derails those plans for Spike…

“OOOOOOHHHH!”

…as Fury ducks under the super kick attempt and drills a nasty shot to the groin, causing Jenkins to collapse to the mat, holding his “lower abdominal” region!

“That was completely and totally wrong,” says Riley in protest as the capacity crowd cheers Fury on. “That should be a disqualification!”

“The referee was unable to see where Fury’s blow landed,” replies Comet. “As far as he knows, Fury simply hit Jenkins in the thigh.”

“But he didn’t! He could’ve caused irreparable nerve damage to Spike right then.”

“Why are you worried about a vile man like Spike Jenkins ability to have children?” Riley is silent as Spike gets back to his feet rather quickly, grimacing. The pain just grows greater as Fury drills Spike with a picture-perfect spinning heel kick, which sends Jenkins back on his ass! Back on his side of the ring, Fury heads over to the corner and to the cheers of the crowd, tags in Cross! Jenkins gets back to his feet and charges Cross as he gets in the ring, only to have the Oil City native duck under his palm thrust attempt, and send Spike sprawling to the mat with a surprise forearm!

“Citizen Cross looks like he’s ready and willing to take Citizen Jenkins to the woodshed,” says Comet as Spike uses the ropes to get back up.

“The problem for Cross is that he’s a big goof and that Spike, or even Washington for that matter, will outsmart him because…he’s Cross.”

“I think that fact you believe Jenkins can outsmart anyone is proof enough you have serious issues,” says Comet.

“I may have serious issues, but at least I don’t believe I am a superhero.”

“Whatever are you talking about?” A clueless Comet looks on to see Cross drilling Spike again with a kick to the gut. The USJL champ locks Jenkins in a front chancery, grabs the far leg, and takes him down to the mat with a punishing FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX! Cross doesn’t bother holding for the pin. Instead, he pulls Spike off the ground and, to the cheers of the capacity crowd, grabs him with a front waistlock... He tosses him up, over, and to the mat with a…

“…RELEASE BELLY TO BELLY BY CITIZEN CROSS!” screams Comet as Jenkins rolls around in pain and Cross gets back up to his feet and raises his fist.

“Just a small setback Comet,” replies Riley. “Spike just has to tag The Perfect Storm in, and everything will be fine.”

“I think Citizen Jenkins will have a problem doing that, considering the USJL champion just tossed him around like a rag doll.”

“Beating up Fury was hard work,” replies Riley. Cross again pulls Spike up easily. The former Cruiserweight champion grabs Cross for support, only to be drilled with a kick to the gut! As Jenkins is doubled over, Cross pauses, then drives his right knee into Spike’s temple, sending him back to a standing position. However, it's only for a moment as The Fallen Angel sends his left leg whipping over into Jenkins' skull to the cheers of the crowd with a CRESCENT KICK!

“Citizen Jenkins is reeling,” Comet says as Cross again raises his fist to the crowd, moving toward Spike. “If he does not tag out soon, the reign of Revolution Zero will soon be over.”

“This is all a part of the plan,” replies Riley. “Let the goof think he has control, then boom, take the rug out from under him!”

“So, getting his behind kicked for the last few minutes was just apart of the larger plan?”

“Exactly, can’t you see that Comet? Jenkins suckers Cross in, and Davis takes care of the cornball.”

“That was a twisted enough explanation even politicians cringed, Bobb-o.”

“It’s still true,” replies a petulant Riley.

“As I said, Citizen Jenkins should put his plan into action soon, or he’ll be defeated.” Cross waits as Jenkins get to his knees, only to drill one-half of the tag champions with a quick forearm to the face! Cross takes Jenkins back down to the mat with a quick and brutal DDT. Again, Spike is pulled to his feet by Cross and absolutely nailed with a kick to the gut. Jenkins goes slack as The Fallen Angel locks him in a front chancery, causing David’s first attempt lifting Spike to fail. Then, as Cross attempts to pull Jenkins up again…

“…LOW BLOW BY SPIKE!” yells Comet as Cross slumps to the mat and Jenkins goes to his knees.

“See what I told you Comet?” asks Riley while the crowd boos Spike.

“That was the maneuver of a desperate, desperate man Robert,” replies Comet.

“Can’t win a match without cracking a few nuts,” notes Riley. “Now, it’s time for Revolution Zero to show why they are the champions.”

“If in fact Citizen Davis can take advantage of that dastardly move by ‘Hollywood’,” replies Comet. “Citizen Cross and Fury are both fighters.”

“They are also both primarily singles wrestlers,” notes Riley. “Revolution Zero will take advantage of that fact and take them apart.” Fury extends his hand for a tag as Cross tries to get to his feet. Washington screams encouragement at Spike as he crawls to his corner. The Fallen Angel gets back to his feet, but it’s to a round of boos as the former Hardcore champion enters the ring and heads for Cross!

“Beatdown time!” says a gleeful Riley.

“Cross isn’t down and out yet,” replies Comet. “He is a true warrior with a hero’s heart.”

“Too bad he’s still a loser.”

“Losers don’t normally have championships, Robert.”

“He’s a lucky loser.” David turns around to meet Sean head on, but The Perfect Storm dives and takes Cross down to the mat with a football tackle! The Portland crowd heaps abuse on both Spike and Davis while Jenkins trash talks to the fans. Davis pulls Cross off the mat and then stuns him with a quick head BUTT! As Cross tries to clear the cobwebs, Davis picks him up on his shoulder, getting The Fallen Angel into a fireman’s carry before dropping him right into an outstretched knee… Stomach first…

“…DAVIS WITH A GUTBUSTER!” screams Comet as the crowd really turns on razz.

“Forget it, the goof is done!” says a jubilant Riley. “Can’t this match be for the USJL title too? I mean, after all, it’s only fair.”

“Every time you count out Citizen Cross he seems to comeback and make you pay for your words Bobb-o.”

“The big goofs luck can’t last forever,” replies Riley. “Oh well, maybe after this, he and Fury can watch Angel and brood together or something.” Davis picks up Cross, half by his hair and half normally, then gets an admonishment from the referee that Davis simply ignores. The Perfect Storm lands a quick kick to the gut of Cross again! The Fallen Angel doubles over, and Davis locks in a front chancery. The former Hardcore champion then sends the crowd into silence as he dead lifts Cross up in the air and holds him for a moment, letting all the blood rush into The Fallen Angel’s skull… Before dropping him face-first to the mat with a suplex, other wise known as a…

“…FALCON ARROW BY DAVIS!” screams Comet as Davis hooks a leg and the referee drops down to count…

…ONE…

…TWO…

…THR - SHOULDER UP!

“Citizen Fury looked like he was about to run in to save his partner, but the USJL champion proved he’s not stopped fighting, kicking out after that dangerous move,” says Comet as Davis plays to the crowd a bit before turning his attention back to Cross.

“Just a minor blip,” replies Riley. “Cross is done; he just doesn’t know it yet.”

“You sound so sure of that fact.”

“Because it’s true,” replies Riley. “Cross is going down, and going down hard,” Riley says as Davis pulls Cross up and backs away for a moment, before throwing a right hand…

…Which Cross blocks! A little sloppily and not that clean, but... Cross still blocks it. Davis throws another, only Cross blocks it again as the crowd buzzes. One more time, Davis throws a right hand... This time Cross blocks, then drills The Perfect Storm with a forearm! Davis backs up, and then throws another haymaker, only to have The Fallen Angel block yet again, then land another forearm... Then another one... And another one as the crowd goes mad! Out of nowhere, Cross pulls Davis in close and nails him with a big right-handed SHORT ARM LARIAT! As the crowd continues to cheer and Davis stumbles around, Cross nails him in the gut and sends him crashing down to the mat with a huge GUTWRENCH SUPLEX! Cross races over and tags Fury! The redheaded champ dashes through the ropes, and winds up behind the recovering Davis. Fury catches an arm around Davis’ neck, and cinches it down with pressure from the other! The crowd is going bananas as Davis struggles to find wind.

“Citizen Fury back in the ring, and already trying to wear down his opponent even more,” Comet states as Fury continues to tighten his hold. Davis starts going a little more slack with each passing moment.

“Sleeper hold?!” Riley exclaims. “A freakin’ SLEEPER HOLD?!?! No respecting Hardcore champ would be putting anyone in a sleeper hold!”

“You realize, of course, that Citizen Fury just won the Hardcore Gamers Championship belt from Davis on our last show, and would have him scouted well.”

“Yeah, but the inverse could be said.” Meanwhile, back in the ring, Fury seems to have Davis all but out… However, there’s a commotion as Washington is screaming at the top of his lungs, and Jenkins seems about ready to bolt into the ring to his partner’s aid. The ref dashes over, getting in Jenkins’ case, when suddenly…

“See what I mean, Comet? Counter-scouting at its finest!” We find that Davis suddenly found his wind… Or never lost it to begin with… And drives a massive elbow into Fury’s gut! As the crowd jeers Davis, and cheers Fury on, the Hardcore champ fights off the blow… But is rewarded with another elbow… And a third finally staggers him enough where the hold is loosened. Davis stands, a little bit winded but probably not as much as Team Newer Guys would like, and sizes up the recovering Fury. Fury, to his credit, tries to re-right himself quickly and continue to press his advantage, but Davis indeed has his opposition scouted well. He lances out a hand, catching Fury in the throat! The crowd lets its venom go, but Davis doesn’t care as he gives a quick lift, and… Down goes Fury to the Chokeslam!

“It’s all over for Fury!” Riley shouts. The crowd jeers as Davis slides down and covers… The ref, conveniently, turns at this time, and slides down for the count!

ONE!...

TWO!...

THR… And Fury manages to power the shoulder up.

“Citizen Fury not out of this yet!” Comet cries over the crowd.

“Just a minor delay of the inevitable,” Riley replies.

“You’ve been saying that the whole match, Bobbo.” The crowd cheers madly, and Davis glares at the ref. But he can’t say much, knowing that Jenk and Marcus were ‘just trying to help’. Suddenly he smiles, as he sees the ref distracted by The Fallen Angel, who was trying to come in to save his tag partner. Davis hauls Fury up and slings him into the corner where his teammate lies. Jenk smiles and latches an arm around Fury’s throat! The crowd goes Arctic cold as Jenk yanks back on Fury’s neck, and Davis starts leveling shoulder after shoulder into Fury’s midsection like he was a tackling dummy in Davis’ FSU glory days.

“This is an absolute travesty of everything good and right!” Comet shrieks. “Turn around, ref! Turn around!”

“Nothing wrong with this,” Riley calmly says. “Just a bit of tag-in teamwork.”

“But it’s a blatant choke, and no one’s even tagged anyone, Bobbo!” Shot after shot is leveled, until Jenk lets go of Fury’s neck.

“I see no choke,” Riley observes innocently. Cross, to his credit, immediately relented whatever fight he was putting up with the ref when he saw his partner in dire straights. And the ref, whom thinks his message got through finally, has turned around and is coming back towards the corner.

“There’s your ref,” Riley continues. Davis continues leveling shoulders in on Fury until the ref hits about four and a half, then stops. Fury is completely free now… And sags to the mat, completely doubled-over and in severe pain. And, to finish out the predictable set of circumstances, Davis tags Jenk in with a grin, and trades spots as Jenk hauls Fury up by the hair, crowd screaming discontent and malice the whole way.

“And there’s your tag,” Riley finishes. “Happy now, Captain Spandex?”

“The tag was -after- everything happened!”

“Eh… Can’t be choosy. But I’d say Fury’s about done, eh?” Indeed, it looks as though Fury’s been put through the ringer as Jenk slings him across the ring. As Fury rebounds back across the ring, Jenk adds a bit of backwards momentum to his trip, and absolutely FLOORS Fury with a nicely timed and placed superkick! The crowd is seething before Fury’s head hits the mat, and Jenk is down there to cover about as fast…

ONE!...

TWO!...

THREE… NO!!! Fury just barely manages to get a shoulder up before the ref’s hand meets the mat for that final time. The crowd ignites, trying to get Fury back in it.

“Citizen Fury almost took it on the chin there,” Comet utters, relieved, “But managed to break the pin. Citizen Cross was very hesitant on coming in to assist because of the questionable antics of the referee.”

“’Questionable antics’?” Riley retorts as Jenk hauls Fury up once more. “He’s only preventing outside interference by this cheat-loving team!” Jenk dekes around behind Fury, and locks in an inverted facelock! The crowd lets loose a torrent of boos as Jenk smiles faintly.

“Spike going for the kill with some Clean Living here!” Riley says with a smile in his voice. But even as he says it, Fury starts launching elbow after elbow into Jenk’s rib cage! Jenk tries to cinch in the facelock more so he can pull off his finisher, but the pain becomes too much when Fury finds the same spot four times in a row… Jenk releases the hold, much to the crowd’s delight, and tries to quickly come up with a more standard plan of attack when Fury moves first when he launches a spinning toe-kick to the side of Jenk’s head! The crowd cheers as Jenk staggers back a couple of steps, and that’s all that Fury needs… Fury bounds back against his side’s ropes, and comes back at the recovering Jenk… Leaps… Hooks an arm under Jenk’s chin and grabs his head… And comes… On… Down… And slams the back of Jenk’s head to the mat! The crowd erupts as Fury slides down and hooks the leg…

ONE!...

TWO!...

THREE… NO!!! Jenk -just- beats out the three count by throwing up the shoulder… Or did he?

“Jenkins just escapes Citizen Fury’s grasp!” Comet cries.

“Fury got lucky, that’s all,” Riley shouts back over the crowd. The ref is up and physically trying to push Davis back to his corner of the ring. Fury, not really knowing the better and not really caring, drags Jenk up and into his corner, tagging The Fallen Angel in, much to the crowd’s delight! Fury stands Jenk up with a quick double backfist, then ducks out of the way as Cross lances out with a dazzlingly fast sweep kick, planting Jenk face first on the mat! The crowd picks up their love as Cross snaps in a crossface, and puts the pressure on!

“Citizen Cross in, and putting the press on Jenkins!”

“He never tagged in!”

“Yes he did, Bobbo… You saw it.”

“I didn’t, and neither did the ref… Look!” And indeed, the ref rushes back over to Cross and Fury’s side of the ring, yelling at the two combatants, and making tagging motions. The ref physically grabs Cross off Jenk, breaking the hold! The crowd rains absolute torrents of abuse on the ref as Cross and Fury try to tell the ref they tagged, but to no avail. The ref is trying to make Fury come back in!

“What an uncouth display!” Comet rants. “Citizens Cross and Fury made a legitimate tag, and now it’s being taken back!”

“I said I never saw it,” Riley snaps back. “And obviously he never saw it. You’re just delusional.” Meanwhile Jenk, winded and dazed from Cross’ submission hold, is managing towards his corner… Davis is on the tag rope, stretching as far as he can, trying to reach his partner. The crowd is screaming for Fury and Cross to get situated and grab Jenk before he can make the tag. Finally, the two ‘newer blood’ teammates get settled, and then Fury sees Jenk about ¾ of the way to his corner. Fury dives out of the ropes, but it’s too late as Jenk makes a dive for his partner…

AND MISSES THE TAG!

“By Hera and Damocles he missed the tag!”

“No way! He didn’t miss the f’ing tag! The ref’s in Fury and Corss’ pockets!”

The ref is right there to say “No Tag!” and the crowd is more than happy to back him up! Davis and Washington are screaming, livid mad as Fury hauls Jenk up, and turns him around. Jenk’s eyes go wide as Fury slings him across to the other ropes… As Jenk bounces, the following Fury doubles him over with a kick to the gut! The crowd cheers hard as Fury turns around, locks Jenk in a ¾ facelock… And kneels quick, driving Jenk’s jaw into his shoulder! But he’s not finished as he stands back up… Facelock still in place! Fury sits out, and plants Jenk’s jaw hard into his shoulder!

“Thunder and Lightning! Zeus would be proud of Citizen Fury’s move!” Fury goes to the mat, hooking the leg of the prone and all-but-out Jenkins!

ONE!... Davis jumps into the ring, hatred in his eyes, targeting Fury to save his own…

TWO!... Cross slips through the ropes, steamrolling at Davis to play prevent defense for his temporary partner… He jumps at Davis, hoping that the little bit of momentum he got will do what he needs…

…As he Spears into Davis…

…And the ref’s arm swings down…

…As Davis and Cross tumble to the mat… Well short of Davis’ intended target!

THREE!!!!!

DING!!! DING!!! DING!!! The crowd threatens to bring down the house! Funyon, with microphone in hand already, is at ringside… The ref rolls out of the ring to get the belts…

“Your winners… And NEW SWF Tag Team Champions… CHRISTIAN FURY… AND DAVIS… CROOOOOSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!” The ref hands Fury and Cross the tag title belt, and they’re held high… Before Fury and Cross roll out of the ring as Jenk and Davis prepared for the retaliatory beatdown.

“Fury and Cross proved themselves today, Bobbo!”

“Yeah… Proved they’re the luckiest jerks on the planet… Rev-0 will get their revenge!”

“We’ll be back with the Montgomery / Dangerous / Lezaire triple threat next!” The camera fades out to Fury and Cross heading backstage with straps on each shoulder, and the Rev-0 trio looking on in anger…

Thoth · October 9, 2004

The camera fades up from darkness in what is obviously a traveling gym. On the bench press machine, “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens is seen working out. He is lifting a light load, but it is obvious from the redness in his face and arms, he has been lifting for a while.

The mic on the camera picks up a door opening, then a melodic female voice fills the room.

“Mark, what the hell are you doing?”

Grand Slam pushes one more press out of his aching arms, then drops the bar to its resting place and looks over to his right. “I’m working out. Trying to get rid of some of this flab.”

“You know that’s not what I meant. Why are you here?”

He smiles. “I’m here because it is in my contract that, even if I am unbooked at a show, since I am on the active roster, I have to travel.”

“Dammit… you know that’s not what I meant.”

“I know. I know. Sit down.”

The woman finally comes into the room and into view of the camera. The crowd in the arena pops as they recognize the one-time Carnie Mistress Sarah. She walks over and sits on the leg press machine next to Grand Slam and tosses him a towel which he drapes around his neck. “Mark, what are still doing here? If Z gave you any match you want, why didn’t you use it to get out of here and be with your family? You should have had him book you against Ced again, or maybe Landon… somebody who likes you and gone home. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” he says, shaking his head, “and no. When all of this started that’s what I wanted. All I could think about while Duran was beating my brains out was that I was one match closer to going home. I’m retired Sarah. But now… now there is something I need to do.”

Sarah rolls her eyes. “You men and your damn pride. It’s not worth it Mark. It’s not worth getting killed in that Hell in a Cell match.”

“It is Sarah. This is important.”

“Why Mark? Why is it so important?”

He stands up suddenly and throws the towel across the room. “BECAUSE IT’S MY FAULT!”

“What are you talking about?”

He paces around the room. “All of this. Everything. Every slimy thing King has done. All of the hell he has put people through here… every damn bit of it is my fault, and he knows it!”

Sarah stands up and looks at Grand Slam as he leans against the wall. His face is suddenly far older than normal, and the scars from the numerous matches he has bled in stand out bright pink against his pale skin. “Mark… how is it your fault?”

“You know I trained him Sarah. He was my best friend for years and we talked about everything. He introduced me to Lynn. We were like brothers. But then he changed and I should have seen it coming. When he turned, when he decided to join Wilson’s group, he didn’t attack Edwin or Chris, he attacked me. I guess what I’m saying is… maybe I deserved it.”

“Mark… you were his friend. It wasn’t anything you did, that’s just who he really is.”

“No. He was a good man. He stood beside me the day I was married. We were partners for a long time down in the indies. I called Jayson and got King his tryout match. Something happened to him, something changed him.” He pushes away from the wall and begins to pace again, gesturing with his hands to emphasize every word. “Maybe King was right all those years ago.”

Sarah looks at her old friend with sadness in her eyes. “I remember what he said about you. I don’t believe a word of it. And you shouldn’t now.”

“Why not? He said I was selfish, that I never gave him a shot at any of the titles I won. Well, he’s right. I never asked anyone to give him a shot. I sat there in front of him wearing belt after belt and never once asked if he wanted a shot at any of them.”

“Mark, he should have earned the shots! You know that as well as I do.”

“No. He earned them. He kept the Carnival together through all of Wilson’s little games. I was selfish. But it isn’t just that. Sarah, I trained him, taught him everything I knew. Somewhere along the way, I must have done something, must have said something, that caused all of this. It’s my fault that he’s not the King of Hearts anymore.”

“Mark, that was his choice, he is an adult. He took all of that trust, all of that love that you gave him and he flushed it down the toilet. Dammit Mark, he played you for all you were worth and when the time was right, he flushed you down the toilet.”

“You didn’t know him then Sarah. I did. He changed.”

“Fine, fine… he was Saint f*cking Brian until he attacked you. So now you think that by fighting him in this match you are going to make all of that better?”

“No. I can’t change the past, but maybe, just maybe, he’ll see the lengths I am willing to go to oppose him and he’ll… I don’t know… turn over a new leaf.”

“You know that isn’t going to happen. King is King, and he’ll never be any different.”

“I know. But somebody has to try. At the very least, someone needs to step up and knock him down a few pegs.”

“And it has to be you…”

“Yeah. It does. I owe him that much.”

“You owe him?”

“I do. One way or the other, he’s still the best fried I ever had, and I can’t let that go without a fight. So whether or not it makes any difference to anyone else, including King, I have to go into that Cell, and I have to try. I’ve lost friends over this business before. Raynor… Thugg… you… I have to put a stop to it. One way or the other, at the end of Ashes 2 Ashes, I’ll know. That’s why it is important, and that’s why I have to do it.”

“And you never leave a friend or break a promise. Mark Stevens, you are a dying breed.”

He smiles again, and the weight of all that has been said seems temporarily lifted from his shoulders. “Don’t say that…”

Both of them laugh as the camera fades…

“Grand Slam” Mark Stevens v. The Suicide King

Hell in the Cell

Ashes 2 Ashes 2004

November 7

Thoth · October 9, 2004

“Welcome back to SWF Storm at the Rose Garden in beautiful Portland, Oregon!” Comet beams.

“Have you noticed an acrid smell? I think some of the Trailblazers were in here earlier and had ‘practice’,” Riley says.

“Bobby...shut up! We’ve got a stacked card, including Toxxic taking on Mike Van Siclen in a title-for-career match! But right now, it’s triple...”

*BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!*

The hard bass line strikes of Muse’s “Hyper Music” signal the entrance of Canada’s best export (Barely edging out maple syrup), Ace Lezaire!

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a triple threat match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, he weighs in at two hundred, thirty-four pounds, ACE LEEZAIRRE!” Funyon shouts over the booing crowd.

Lezaire pauses on the stage, a cocky grin on his face. The Prodigy lifts his arms to the roof, accepting the non-existent praise as...

*BOOM!*

...two tall bursts of pyro explode on either side of him. The Sovereign of Swagger walks down the ramp slowly waving to the audience, and they return the favor by jeering him. Lezaire slides under the bottom rope, pops to his feet and slumps in a corner, waiting his opponents.

“Yeesh. Someone needs to tell me when Lezaire’s going to be coming to the ring, as his intro always interrupts my insightful commentary,” Comet laments.

“I wish Lezaire was in every match, then. Or just replaced you completely,” Riley says.

Just as the banter is picking up, all of the lights go out.

*BOOM!*

A huge explosion of green pyro blasts the stage, prompting the lights to come back on and Andrea Montgomery to step out to the tune of No Doubt’s “Just a Girl.”

“Introducing next, from Biloxi, Mississippi, she weighs one hundred, forty-three pounds and is the number one contender for the World Heavyweight title, ANDRREA MONTGOMERRY!” Funyon roars out over the applauding crowd.

Andrea makes her way down the ramp, high-fiving fans along the way before she reaches the ring. Drea leaps onto the apron, grabs the top rope, and launches herself into the squared circle.

“I wonder how good the odds are for Andrea Montgomery to pull out a win here. She lost her previous match on Smarkdown, not to mention Ace Lezaire and M. Bison defeated her and Blanka in a tag match several weeks ago,” Riley notes.

“I think she’s going to have a fair chance, as that tag team match was riddled with foul play on the part of Bison and Lezaire, as well as that match on Smarkdown! With Johnny Dangerous in this match, the only person to worry about in terms of cheating is Ace Lezaire,” Comet states.

The lights dim, and just barely audible, a feminine voice breathes a single name.

“Johnny Dangerous!”

My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult’s “After the Flesh” pounds over the speakers as white smoke fills the stage.

“I knew the Blazers were here! Always on the reefer, those punks,” Riley says.

“Sure it’s not just Jamie Drazon?” Comet asks.

“That’s a possibility, especially with Wallace in Detroit now,” Riley acquiesces.

Countless strobe lights cut through the haze to show the resident covert agent standing on the stage.

“And finally, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing two hundred, seventeen pounds, The Barracuda, JOHNNY DAANGERROUS!” Funyon booms over the cheering fans.

Johnny walks down the ramp, slowly climbs into the ring, mounts the top turnbuckle and raises his arms to the fans. He doesn’t have much time to soak in the adulation, though, as Ace rushes him and lands a double ax-handle to the small of Johnny’s back! Referee Aaron Vandervort (Who may or may not be gay), swiftly calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

Ace drives an elbow into Johnny’s back, then quickly climbs up the buckles and wraps Dangerous in a waistlock. Andrea scrambles out of the intended path and ducks under the top rope, waiting on the ring apron. With a mighty heave, Lezaire launches the Barracuda off the top buckle and down to the mat with a German suplex. Moments before impact, Andrea leaps onto the top rope and flies towards Ace, crashing down atop him with a phoenix splash. Drea covers the winded Ace and Aaron looks to make the count.

ONE!

TW...NO!

Lezaire manages to kick out to a boo from the stands.

“What a start to this match! Lezaire jumped Dangerous before the bell even rang, and hit a super German suplex, but he got his due as Andrea Montgomery flattened him with a phoenix splash!” Comet shouts.

“Yeah, but Lezaire kicked out, not only salvaging this match from a dud rating, but making sure some loser didn’t get a fluke victory,” Riley says.

“Andrea Montgomery is far from a loser. She’s a former tag team champion and a two-time light heavyweight champion!” Comet says, very defensive.

“Yes, but what’s the key word? ‘Former’ as in, in the past, as in past her prime if she ever had one. She’s got no business in the ring at all,” Riley says.

“So instead, she should take a place at this booth like you?” Comet inquires.

“That hurt and was uncalled for,” is all Riley can muster.

Dangerous rises to his feet, a bit shaky after the suplex, and lifts Ace up as well. Johnny snaps out a kick, nailing Lezaire in the chest, and the Barracuda presses the attack, nailing Ace with a palm strike to the forehead. Johnny leaps into the air and sends the Prodigy to the mat with a spin kick. Dangerous makes a cover, but Andrea rolls the spy off before Vandervort can count. Dangerous pops to his feet and lashes out with a front kick, but Andrea deftly scissors the leg, taking herself and JD to the mat.

“Nice flurry from Dangerous on Lezaire, and he went for the pin, but must have forgotten about Andrea Montgomery, so she reminded him by breaking it up,” Comet says then takes a deep breath.

“I hope those two dolts, Andrea and Johnny wear each other out so Ace can sit back and watch, then swoop in and take the match!” Riley says enthusiastically.

“Swoop in like a vulture? Just steal a win after doing nothing the entire match?” Comet questions.

“Makes perfect sense to me. Granted, watching those two wrestle won’t be very pretty, but it’s easier than having to confront them,” Riley says.

Andrea twists on Johnny’s ankle as she clamps down on the leg scissor, prompting Vandervort to check on the Barracuda’s condition. Dangerous waves off Aaron and kicks at Andrea’s legs, trying to free himself. Johnny doesn’t have to worry about escaping the hold on his own, however, as Ace, after motioning Steve closer for a better angle, drops an elbow across Drea’s torso.

“Way to go Ace!” Riley cheers. “See that, Comet? He’s in the match! He broke up that submission, preventing a chance for him to lose, because Dangerous probably would have tapped after a few more seconds.”

“I highly doubt that, Bobby. Johnny Dangerous has great conditioning and it’s far too early in the match for a submission, especially without any prior work to that limb,” Comet notes.

“Aha! You said ‘highly’! You’ve been toking, and I’m going to report you, and you are so outta here!” Riley exclaims gleefully.

Lezaire pulls Andrea to her feet and after a quick forearm to the jaw to daze her, locks on a rear waistlock. Ace lifts her up and plants Drea with an atomic drop, a few inches away from Dangerous. The Prodigy takes a few paces backwards and leaps, nailing Andrea with a flying clothesline, who in turn, slams into Dangerous.

“Domino effect! Lezaire knocked down Andrea who took Johnny to the mat,” Comet states.

“That Ace, he’s so clever! He inflicted damage upon Johnny Dangerous without even touching him!” Riley says.

Lezaire pulls himself up and quickly rolls Andrea off of Johnny lest referee Aaron count a pin. The Prodigy pulls Drea up, grabs her right arm, wraps it around her neck, and drops to the mat. Ace turns his attention towards Johnny now, and pulls the Barracuda to his feet. Lezaire attempts an Irish whip, but Dangerous reverses it, sending Ace crashing into the turnbuckles. Johnny charges in after him, but Lezaire grabs the top ropes and lifts himself up, placing his legs on JD’s shoulders. The Prodigy tries to launch Dangerous to the mat, but the Barracuda grabs his arms and falls backwards, planting Ace face-first into the mat.

“Nice spinning arm neckbreaker from Ace to take Andrea down for a bit, but Johnny Dangerous reversed the Irish whip and dropped Lezaire on his face,” Comet notes.

“NO! Not his face! Damn you, Johnny Dangerous!” Riley squeals.

Johnny extracts himself from the tangle of limbs and gets to his feet. Dangerous hops to the top turnbuckle, sizes Ace up, and leaps off, dropping an elbow in the middle of his back. The Barracuda hauls Lezaire to a vertical base, wraps him up in a waistlock and pivots, executing a belly to belly suplex. Johnny stays down for the pin.

ONE!

Andrea rises to her feet and notices Dangerous covering Lezaire.

TWO!

Andrea scrambles towards the Barracuda and the Prodigy.

THREE!

NO!

Andrea arrives just in time with a drop kick to Johnny’s head.

“Montgomery breaks up the pin with not a moment to spare!” Comet shouts.

“This might be the only time I say this, but thank you, Andrea! Lezaire still lives!” Riley exclaims happily.

Andrea pulls Johnny to his feet and whips him to the ropes. As he comes off the rebound, Johnny eats a spin kick to the jaw, but it only staggers the spy. Dangerous shakes his head in an attempt to shoo the circling birds, and heads for Andrea once more. The end result is the same, though Andrea accomplishes it this time with an elbow, and once again, the Barracuda stumbles backwards. This time it’s Andrea’s turn to make the first move as she charges Dangerous and drives a knee into his gut. Drea slips on a front facelock and drops to the mat with a DDT. Drea gets back to her feet but is blindsided by a forearm from Ace Lezaire. Montgomery stumbles forward and Ace darts in, slapping on a chickenwing facelock. He simply falls backwards, taking Drea to the mat and he locks on a leg scissors, trapping her even further.

“Yes! Ace Lezaire’s got Andrea Montgomery trapped in that chickenwing facelock, and there’s no hope! Dangerous is still on the mat, showing no signs of getting up, and I know Andrea’s too weak to withstand that submission for much longer,” Riley says hopefully.

“I beg to differ, Bobby. Dangerous is in fact stirring on the canvas. However, I will agree that Andrea Montgomery is not strong enough to power out of the hold without some assistance,” Comet notes.

Andrea thrashes her legs on the mat, trying to escape the hold as Vandervort asks if she’ll submit. With her free arm, she waives the ref away while planting her feet on the mat and pushing. Andrea and Ace’s lower bodies rise off the mat, but in the process, Lezaire’s shoulders touch the mat, prompting Aaron to count the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

TH...NO!

The Prodigy finally realizes what’s going on and rolls onto his side, breaking the pin.

“Lezaire came very close to getting pinned there! He just managed to roll out of it, but Andrea Montgomery is still trapped in that chickenwing facelock,” Comet points out.

“No chance, Comet. Lezaire was just letting Andrea expend her energy so it’ll be easier to beat her,” Riley states confidently.

Vandervort once again checks on Andrea’s status as Johnny Dangerous climbs to his feet and unsteadily makes his way towards the Prodigy and Drea. JD clears his head with a few shakes and kicks Ace in the back of the head. Hoping that she’ll submit very soon, Lezaire keeps the hold locked in despite another kick to the back of his head.

“Come on, Ace! Dangerous can’t kick that hard! Just keep that chickenwing facelock on for a few more seconds and sweet, sweet victory will be yours!” Riley cheers.

“I highly doubt that, Robert. The Barracuda is proficient in the martial arts, and those kicks look to be taking their toll on Lezaire. It shouldn’t be much longer until he lets go or gets knocked out,” Comet states.

Dangerous lashes out with yet another kick to the back of the Prodigy’s skull, but like a pitbull, Ace won’t let go. Johnny decides to go another route and kneels down, locking in a crossface on Lezaire.

“Interrogator! Johnny Dangerous has Ace Lezaire in the Interrogator while Lezaire has Andrea Montgomery locked up in a chickenwing facelock! Lezaire might be forced to let go so he can make an escape of his own,” Comet notes.

“No way! Andrea Montgomery’s been in that chickenwing facelock for too long! She’ll tap first!” Riley shouts hopefully.

“Perhaps, Bobby, but you have to admit that the Interrogator is more potent than the chickenwing facelock. It’s more taxing on the target area, which in this case, is the head and neck,” Comet points out.

“I’d agree were it anyone else but Johnny Dangerous applying it. He’s a boob! Dangerous lacks far too much technical knowledge to know how to apply the right pressure with that move, but Ace Lezaire is a technical wizard!” Riley exclaims.

Lezaire slowly releases Andrea’s face and claws at Johnny’s hands while keeping the chickenwing in tact. Ace finally gives in and lets go of Drea completely, choosing to work on freeing himself. Taking a page from Andrea’s book, Ace shifts onto his back, plants his feet, and pushes, getting Johnny Dangerous in a pinning situation.

ONE!

TWO!

T...NO!

The Barracuda rolls onto his side, effectively stopping the pin.

“Uh, didn’t we just do this?” Comet asks, befuddled.

“Yeah, only Ace will free himself momentarily,” Riley says.

Lezaire grabs Johnny’s hands and tries to pull them apart, but Dangerous has them interlocked too tightly. Andrea slowly gets to her feet as Vandervort checks on Ace. Taking a running start, Drea slams into Johnny’s head with a drop kick. Though rattled, he keeps the crossface clamped on as Drea makes her way back up. She quickly fires off two kicks, both hitting Johnny directly on the wrist, causing him to let go of Ace.

“Way to go, Ace! Let that stupid cow do the dirty work for you!” Riley cheers.

“I thought you said he’d escape himself,” Comet says.

“Yeah, so?” Riley shoots back.

“Obviously Andrea Montgomery was the cause behind Johnny Dangerous letting Ace Lezaire out of the Interrogator,” Comet points out.

“To the untrained eye, Comet. Ace sent powerful brainwaves into Andrea’s head, telling her what to do. Otherwise, she would have taken off for the mall,” Riley says smugly.

“You have now reached a new level of idiocy, Bobby,” Comet states.

Lezaire rolls away from Dangerous and Drea, stopping only when he reaches the edge of the ring while Johnny slowly gets to his feet. Andrea takes several steps backwards, giving JD his space. He rubs his wrist for a moment, trying to get some feeling back into it before darting forward. Drea reacts quickly, planting a foot in his chest, sending the Barracuda backwards. Andrea darts in and grabs hold of Johnny’s left arm. A quick arm wringer doubles the spy over, and Andrea slams an elbow into the back of his neck while simultaneously kicking Johnny’s legs out from under him.

“Magnolia Bloom from Montgomery! And she’s in good position to hit that springboard four hundred fifty degree splash. With Lezaire still on the mat taking a breather, Andrea Montgomery could steal this match if she’s quick!” Comet exclaims.

“No! ACE! Get up! The wench is trying to win!” Riley shouts.

Andrea gets to her feet and leans against the ropes for support, catching her breath. She makes her way towards Johnny, pulls him up, and slips on a side headlock. Andrea charges up the turnbuckles and leaps over the top rope, dropping Dangerous throat-first. Drea manages to get a hand on the top strand and keep from hitting the floor. She pulls herself back onto the apron, turns around and hops on the top rope. Drea flies at Johnny, scissors his head, and takes him to the mat.

“Bulldog hangman followed up with a head scissor takedown, and Johnny Dangerous is in perfect position for that springboard splash of Andrea’s!” Comet shouts.

“Yeah, but Ace Lezaire is going to swoop in and batter her after she hits it. He’s just biding his time, Comet,” Riley says.

Andrea climbs to her feet and ducks under the top rope, intent on fulfilling Comet’s prediction. She takes a quick glance at Ace Lezaire, who’s still on the mat, grabs the top rope with both hands and springs up. Drea coils her legs and jumps, flipping four hundred, fifty degrees and landing directly on top of Johnny Dangerous.

“Four fifty springboard splash from Andrea Montgomery! If Ace Lezaire doesn’t move quick, Andrea will have this match in the bag!” Comet shouts.

“Okay, Ace, enough resting, time to move! Go you stupid Canuck!” Riley roars.

Andrea stays down for the pin and takes out some insurance by hooking Johnny’s leg.

ONE!

Ace hears Vandervort’s hand slap the mat and sits upright.

TWO!

Lezaire pushes himself off the canvas and takes off towards Andrea and Johnny.

THREE!

No! The Prodigy arrives just in time, slamming into Andrea, knocking her off of Dangerous.

Yes! Lezaire, you genius!” Riley exclaims. “Now just take care of Montgomery and the match is yours.”

“I wouldn’t call Ace Lezaire a genius for what he did, perhaps a thieving cheat, but that’s not what’s important. What is important is that Ace Lezaire broke up that pin, and this match is still on,” Comet states.

Lezaire gets to his feet moments prior to Andrea and he slams a punch into the side of her head. Ace closes in and unleashes a Euro...Canadian uppercut that rocks Drea. Lezaire hits a boot to her stomach, doubling Andrea over, and the crowd gasps, fearing the Ace Crusher is on its way.

“He’s going to do it! It’s Ace Crusher time!!” Riley shouts hopefully.

The Prodigy instead slaps on a front facelock and lifts Montgomery up for a vertical suplex. However, Ace releases her at the apex, and Drea slips down behind him. Lezaire simply drops down, snapping Andrea’s neck with a hangman’s noose neckbreaker.

“Uh, inverted Ace Crusher!” Riley calls out.

“Nay, Bobby, though that hangman’s noose neckbreaker has a similar effect of the Ace Crusher in that it focuses on the neck of the victim,” Comet points out.

“And that’s exactly what Andrea Montgomery and Johnny Dangerous are going to become at the end of this match, victims,” Riley says.

Lezaire gets to his feet and hauls Dangerous up before nailing an open hand slap across Johnny’s cheek. Ace creates some space between himself and the Barracuda, then closes in, blasting Johnny with a jumping heel kick. Dangerous stays on his feet, so Lezaire remedies that with a clothesline. Lezaire pulls Johnny back up and tells the naive Aaron Vandervort to check on Andrea Montgomery. As the referee is making sure Drea’s okay, Ace takes advantage of the distraction by driving a knee into Johnny’s crotch. The Prodigy follows up with a standing head scissors, and grabbing Dangerous by the quadriceps, he falls backwards with a very lazy piledriver.

“Genius, Comet, pure genius! Lezaire, in a rare display of compassion asks the referee to check on the downed Andrea Montgomery, and then he blasted Dangerous with a double cradle piledriver!” Riley exclaims joyously.

“Oh, come on, Robert! Lezaire used that distraction to low blow Dangerous!” Comet shouts indignantly.

“You say tomato, I say Ace Lezaire is a technical genius,” Riley says.

The Prodigy gets to his feet as Vandervort assures him that Andrea is okay, but Ace can see for himself as she’s on her feet as well and making her way towards him. In a fit of desperation, Lezaire pulls Aaron towards him, appearing to have conference with the ref, but in reality using Vandervort as a shield. Andrea tries to go around him, but Lezaire wheels around, keeping a firm grip on Aaron’s shoulders. Andrea takes a moment to look out at the crowd as if pleading for some assistance, and Lezaire reacts quickly, shoving Vandervort into Drea. As she stumbles backwards, the Prodigy darts forward and sends her to the mat with a single leg takedown. He flips her over and drives his shoulder into the back of her neck.

“Once again, Ace Lezaire proves why he’s regarded as a technical genius by many well-respected wrestling authorities!” Riley says happily.

“You don’t count since nobody respects you, so that leaves the list pretty slim, Bobby,” Comet says. “Besides, nothing about what he did was very technical, aside from that takedown. But even that was set up with a cheap tactic. Using a referee as a shield! Despicable, deplorable, down right dirty!” Comet shouts, eliciting a pop from fans of alliteration.

Lezaire adds a stomp to Drea’s shoulder blades for good measure before taking off for the corner. He hops onto the second buckle, then the top and leaps off. Ace has great hangtime, but that’s his downfall as Andrea manages to scoot out of the way seconds before he crashes to the mat.

“And Lezaire eats canvas on that triple jump moonsault attempt! This could turn the tide back to Andrea Montgomery’s favor, or perhaps give Johnny Dangerous time to recover and mount a come back!” Comet shouts.

“No! Damn you, Lezaire! You should have ended it with an Ace Crusher!” Riley laments.

“If Ace is the technical genius you purport him to be, it should be a simple task for him to recover and win the match,” Comet says.

“Well, he is, and he can. It’s just that those other two losers in the ring have been known to eke out a fluke victory now and again, and with this mishap, no, minor setback, really, it gives them a chance to get one of those fluke wins,” Riley explains.

Drea rolls onto her stomach and pushes up to all fours, trying to regain her composure. She doesn’t get much time, though, as Johnny Dangerous runs right at her and kicks Andrea in the head, knocking her back down. Johnny lifts Lezaire up and sends him into the ropes with an Irish whip. As he comes off the rebound, Ace eats a drop kick from the Barracuda and falls to the mat in a heap. Dangerous presses the assault, lifting Ace back up, snaring the Prodigy in a front facelock, and hauling him up and back down with a vertical suplex. JD rolls onto his stomach with Lezaire still entwined and gets back to his feet. He tries for another suplex, but Ace blocks it. Dangerous makes another attempt, but once again Lezaire staves it off. JD quickly turns around, getting Ace on his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. He repositions Lezaire slightly, but before he can flip forward, Ace takes advantage of the repositioning and slips down. He grabs Johnny’s head on the way down and delivers a shoulder jawbreaker.

“Lezaire wriggled out of that attempted Spinal Explosion and hit a jawbreaker, and the former World champ is dazed,” Comet states.

“And Ace Lezaire is moments away from winning this match!” Riley shouts enthusiastically.

Ace wraps Johnny in a 3/4 facelock, orders Steve to get on the apron directly in front of him for the perfect shot, and...is shoved forward by Dangerous, right into Steve! Cameraman and wrestler collide, with Steve getting knocked off the apron, but Ace getting a face full of camera in the process.

“No! Steve you dolt! Dangerous should be disqualified! He deliberately pushed Ace Lezaire into that camera, which in this contest would be considered a foreign object!” Riley cries.

“I think it was unintentional. And besides, Lezaire has no right to have Steve on the apron in the middle of the match,” Comet notes.

“Ace Lezaire can do whatever he wants, because he’s Ace Lezaire!” Riley whines.

Dangerous clears his head with a quick shake and rushes towards the dazed Ace Lezaire and grabs his right arm. He quickly puts Ace’s arm over his shoulder, firmly planting his neck in the Prodigy’s armpit to an enormous pop from the crowd. Johnny hoists him up and drops Lezaire with the MI Slam.

“MI Slam! Dangerous nailed Ace Lezaire with the MI Slam, and if Andrea Montgomery doesn’t do something quickly, Johnny will win this match!” Comet exclaims.

“No! It can’t be. It just can’t be. Say it ain’t so, Ace, say it ain’t so,” Riley pleads.

Dangerous turns over and hooks Ace’s leg and Vandervort slides in to count the pin.

ONE!

Andrea picks herself up off the mat.

TWO!

She wheels around and runs towards Johnny and Ace.

THREE!

No! Andrea barely managed to shove the Barracuda off and the match will continue.

“Yes! Thank you, Andrea Montgomery for saving Ace Lezaire. Not that he needed it,” Riley adds.

“Sure. You were on the verge of tears because you thought Johnny Dangerous was going to pin Ace,” Comet points out.

Andrea rises to her feet seconds before Johnny and fires off a kick, catching him under the chin. She drives a knee into his jaw, follows up with a forearm, and sends Johnny crashing into the corner. Drea takes a few steps backwards before rushing towards the Barracuda and going into a forward roll. As she reaches Johnny, Andrea springs up, grabs his head and drops to the mat, jarring his senses with a jawbreaker.

“Tuckerman and Roll from Andrea Montgomery! That is usually the prelude to Done and Dusted, so she might pick up the win here,” Comet states.

“Not a chance! Ace Lezaire is going to spring up and wipe the mat with her and Dangerous,” Riley says, though without much confidence.

Andrea pops back up to her feet, slips behind Johnny and hops onto the top turnbuckle. Drea reaches forward and grabs his arms. She jumps off the buckle and plants her feet in the back of his head, driving Johnny into the mat face-first.

“Oh my goodness!” Comet shouts.

“Who do you think you are, Keith Murray?” Riley questions.

“Once again, I’m at a loss as to who you’re talking about,” Comet states.

“He’s a rap artist and had a song title ‘Oh My Goodness’. Wouldn’t hurt to dabble in other musical genres, Comet,” Riley says.

“Well, regardless of that, Andrea Montgomery just slammed Johnny Dangerous into the mat with that cattle branding-type maneuver. Cattle branding and double stomp combination, and it looked painful,” Comet says.

Drea gets to her feet and ducks under the top rope. She grabs the cable and springs on top. Andrea bounces once, twice, three times and leaps, twisting and cavorting in the air, slamming down on Dangerous back-first.

“Falling Star Bomb! Andrea Montgomery should have this match taken care of after that!” Comet exclaims.

“Not likely! Ace Lezaire is going to get up momentarily,” Riley says, a twinge of desperation in his voice.

Andrea rolls Johnny onto his back, makes a lateral press and hooks the leg as Vandervort slides in to count.

ONE!

Startled by the hand slapping the mat, Lezaire sits up.

TWO!

Lezaire climbs groggily to his feet and stumbles towards Andrea and Johnny.

THREE!

Vandervort leaps to his feet to call for the bell as Lezaire nails Andrea in the back of the head with a double ax-handle.

DING! DING! DING!

“And the winner of this match via pinfall, ANDREA MONTGOMERY!” Funyon booms over the roaring crowd and No Doubt’s “Just a Girl”.

“What an impressive match! All of the competitors in this ring fought hard, but Andrea Montgomery pulled out with a win,” Comet states.

“You’re just saying it’s impressive because Andrea used your old finisher,” Riley says bitterly.

Lezaire gets to his feet and slides under the bottom rope, heading for his personal cameraman, Steve. Berating him the entire time, Ace heads back up the ramp as Storm goes to a commercial for Mountain Dew Blazin’ Silver, with actual chunks of sperm whale fat!

Thoth · October 9, 2004

Back into the Rose Garden in picturesque Portland, Oregon we swoop...to the image of a not so picturesque dumpster, left at the top of the Storm stage. Some of the crowd cheer seeing the dumpster, knowing what match is next. As suddenly, the dumpster lids fly open and a rather dis-orientated Ash Ketchum falls out of the dumpster, before stumbling off, mumbling incoherently.

Comet: Oh. So that's what happened to him.

Riley: Happens to the best of us Comet. To be frank, I'm impressed he managed to find something so high up the property ladder.

Comet: ...as you may have guessed, the Intercontinental Television Championship is on the line next. And yes, it will be contested in a Dumpster Match, Robert! The dreaded rematch clause makes it's much-feared return, as its Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix attempting to capture the ICTV belt for the third time...taking on the new champion, as of last week, "The Icon" Max King.

Riley: Something which I KNOW Kelly Connelly is not pleased about.

Comet: Robert, this rematch should settle all the controversy left over from King's title win. If Kelly doesn't like that then it's quite frankly tough luck.

Riley: Well, I meant she was unhappy about the stipulation...but, yes, the match itself shouldn't be happening anyway. Dumpster or not.

Comet: Regardless of her feeling, one man will be taking a trip into that dumpster here tonight.

Riley: Who's idea was this anyway?

Comet: Well, as Zenon is gone, I assume it's one Suicide King's idea.

Riley: ...man, I can't WAIT for this one Comet! What a match this'll be!

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

*DUM DUM*

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

The crowd erupt as through the curtains bounds Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, stopping abruptly as he spots the blood red dumpster sitting to the right of the curtains. Slowly a wry smile creeps over his face though, as he takes in the cheers filling the air. Breaking away from his gaze, Maddix finally starts to stride down the aisle, with Megan Skye conspicuous by her absence.

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest...sponsored by Laidlaw...is for the SWF INTERCONTINENTAL-TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP...and is to be contested under Dumpster Match rules! The only way to win this match is to place your opponent in the dumpster provided and close BOTH lids, therefore trapping your opponent. Introducing first, the challenger. From Huron, South Dakota...he weighs in at two hundred and eighteen pounds. The former two-time ICTV Champion... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MAAAADDIIIIIXXXX!!!

Maddix raises his arms in the air at the sound of his name, with the Portland crowd responding with cheers.

Riley: I still don't understand how Maddix deserves a rematch, without earning it.

Comet: Well...he's a two time champion. He had the longest ICTV Title reign since Charlie Matthews' reign ended in February. Not to mention the nature of which he lost the belt. Plus, he beat Stryke on Lockdown...

Riley: Oh, I must have missed that memo about beating Stryke meaning something suddenly.

Comet: Ba-zing.

Into the ring rolls Maddix, removing his "Cheat 2 Win" t-shirt and tossing it into the crowd which starts a stampede in the fifth and sixth rows.

Funyon: And his oppo...

"Woah, woah, woah...stop right there Funbags!" wails Kelly Connelly, as she steps through the curtains with her own microphone to the jeers of the crowd. "You should know the drill by now. Ladies and gentlemen of Portland...shut your mouths, and stand up on your feet. Stand up! As I present to you the pride of Philadelphia and the reigning Intercontinental Television Champion of the WORLD! It's time to take out the trash with "The Icon"... MAAAAAAXXXXX KIIIIIINNGGG!!!!"

No pyro, what with Kelly standing directly on top of where they'd explode and all, as "Superstar" by Saliva hits and Max King emerges through the entrance with his ICTV Title belt draped proudly over his shoulder. But before he can even think about posing and posturing, out of the ring slides Landon Maddix with serious intent in his eyes as he begins to charge back up the ramp! Quickly Kelly makes herself scarse, as King just as hurriedly removes his title belt from his shoulder and prepares to use it as a weapon. Maddix continues running in undaunted, reading the title shot coming and ducking under it. A confused King weilds around and gets lamped with a forearm, and a second...and a third, which sends the title belt flying out of King's hands as meanwhile from the ring, referee Sexton Hardcastle watches on...and remembers that a match needs an opening bell.

*DING DING DING!*

Comet: I guess these two men aren't going to want to start this match in the ring, so this one is underway on the rampway!

Riley: And why not? No disqualifications, no countouts...and the dumpster is up on the rampway anyway. They're going to get up there eventually.

With King now reeling, Maddix quickly starts to follow up on his forearms with a series more, each forearm he hits seeming to stagger him even more than the last. King finds something from somewhere though, driving a knee into Maddix's solar plexus. Another knee finds it's way deep into Maddix's gut, before King grabs the challenge by the arm and looks for an irish whip. Maddix reverses it however, sending King forwards and hard head-first into a steel part of the stage set-up! King's head bounces off the steel, sending him staggering backwards into Maddix grasp. A quick knee weakens up King, enough for Maddix to irish whip King again...this time to the right, and face-first into the side of the dumpster! A dull thud fills the air, drawing gasps from the crowd as King flops backwards. Meanwhile, Maddix's gaze darts around the stage, falling on the entrance way which he steps through towards backstage.

Riley: Wait...where's...is Maddix running away?

Comet: I sincerely doubt that Robert.

As King slowly starts to get to his knees, Kelly quickly scurries over to check on her man. But she doesn't stay long, as moments later Landon Maddix steps back through the curtains...carrying with him a metal trash can...

...and a small stepladder.

Comet: Well, that solves one problem. That stepladder will certainly make placing King in the dumpster that bit easier.

Dumping the stepladder down on the stage, Maddix re-adjusts his grip on the trash can and starts to stalk over the dazed King. But King isn't quite as dazed as he makes out to be and lunges forward, spearing Maddix to the stage with a stiff double leg takedown. Only for Maddix to grab the trash can before it can fly off. With Maddix down, King looks to mount Landon and fire away with some punches...but by then, Maddix has the trash can back in his hands and swings with it...

*DOOF!*

...connecting over King's head and sending another tinny echo through the air. The force sends King falling backward and rolling off down the ramp. Kelly can only look on in horror as her man continues to roll and roll, seemingly unable to stop himself, as Maddix pulls himself back up. Tossing the trash can to the side, Maddix begins to follow down the ramp as King finally comes to a stop at the bottom of the rampway. King is dis-orientated, staggering around as he gets to his feet. But he manages to find his way to the solace of the ring, rolling in and taking the opportunity to regain some of his bearings.

Comet: Well, I question the wisdom of this. King can't win the match in the ring.

Riley: He also can't lose it in the ring. Besides...he had little choice of where he was goin' once the rollin' got startin'.

Comet: ...right.

Maddix finally reaches the ring and rolls in too, meeting King in the middle of the ring with a quick boot to the gut before whipping King into the corner. Hitting the buckles, the already groggy King staggers out of the ring, as Maddix hits the ropes and launches back with a flying forearm! Down goes King, with Maddix popping right back up and encouraging King to do the same. Sure enough up staggers King, with Landon quickly back on the offensive with a stiff forearm. King tries to retaliate with a right hand, but Maddix ducks and responds with another forearm. That one drops King to his knee, but the ICTV Champion fights back up and swings with another right hand...only for Maddix to duck and weave away from the punch, this time shooting for a leg. He gets one, but the other leg just as quickly finds Maddix's ribs with a kick!

Riley: There we go! Maddix needs to hit and move against King, not try to out-wrestle him. We know that doesn't work, we've seen it before.

Away rolls Maddix, quickly getting to his feet and charging back at King, this time taking a decapitating clothesline for his troubles! King shakes the cobwebs off as Maddix pulls himself back up, but takes a second clothesline from the recovering King. That clothesline takes a lot out of the challenger, but he pulls himself to his feet anyway, with The Icon quickly in to meet him with a right hand. Into the corner slumps the challenger, a small cut already opened up on the bridge of his nose which King targets with another straight right hand. King then pulls Maddix out of the corner, taking him over with a textbook vertical suplex.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

In the meantime, Kelly Connelly is making his way back down the aisle...carrying with her the stepladder which was brought out earlier by Maddix. Seeing what Kelly is doing, King finally breaks into a smile. A smile which doesn't last long though, as Maddix catches King making the cardinal sin of turning your back on an opponent, leaping over the back of King and driving his face into the canvas with The Throwback maneuver!

Comet: That caught Citizen King by surprise! And the irony is, the distraction was caused by King's manager Kelly Connelly.

King head bounces off the mat, but he has little time to react to the effects of the move before Maddix hooks on a front facelock and pulls King up to his knees. From there he releases the front facelock, to launch a flurry of right hands on Max. But as he does, Kelly Connelly sees her chance and gives a signal to the bobbing head of Max King as she climbs up onto the apron and slides the stepladder into the ring. Whever King gets the memo or not, it doesn't matter, as Maddix follows up the punches with a dropkick to the face which knocks Max the heck out! And with King laying unconscious on the canvas, Maddix has the chance to turn around and spot the stepladder before King can get the chance to.

Riley: Oh no...

Comet: Kelly's done it again. She's putting her own man in danger.

Riley: Not intentionally!

Comet: Well, obviously. It's more a case of incompetency, if you ask me.

Unable to hide the smile from his face as he sees the stepladder and hears the cheers of the Portland crowd, Maddix swaggers over to the weapon and picks it up off the mat. As he does, King is beginning to come back around. So Maddix wastes little time in setting up the stepladder, which is only about the height of the top rope. Landon looks at the stepladder curiously, not too impressed by it's side. But like a fat hooker, he decides it'll have to do, as King is getting slowly back to his feet. Quickly Maddix scoots up to the top of the stepladder, taking a moment to steady his balance as he gets to the top.

Riley: Look at this...Maddix climbing that midget ladder like it's impressive.

Comet: Robert! Midget is such a...coarse word.

Riley: Okay, 'vertically challenged' ladder. Either way, Maddix would still only be up to Janus' chin at the moment.

King finally reaches his feet, turning and looking mighty surprised to see Maddix standing over him on a small ladder. And as he pauses and takes a double take, that gives Maddix the time to dive off the ladder with a Frog-body Block...

...and get caught by King...

"SHI - IIIIIIIII..."

...and SLAMMED to the canvas in mid-curse, with authority!!

Comet: Oh my, what a falling slam! All of King's two hundred fifty pounds crushing Maddix into the canvas!

The crowd gasp as the challenger's back arches from the pain, with King getting back to his feet and smiling broadly as he looks down on Maddix. Reaching forwards, King folds the ladder back up and casually pulls it over so it topples forward, falling on top of Maddix's ribs! There it stays, as King looks to the outside and calls for something from Kelly. Quickly she launches into action as Maddix tries to squirm from underneath the ladder, finding that hard to do though, as King presses his foot down on the steel. Kelly meanwhile reaches the timekeeper's table, ordering the timekeeper up and tossing his chair into the ring. King quickly retrieves the chair, stomping Maddix in the head as he does, before raising the chair...

*CRACK!*

...and nailing the ladder with the chair three hard, pain-inducing times. Each shot rocks through the ladder and into the prone body of Maddix, the third and final shot leaving Maddix sprawled on the mat with his arms flopped to the side.

"MAX KING SUCKS! MAX KING SUCKS! MAX KING SUCKS!"

The crowd take the opportunity to get on King's case, as he pulls the stepladder off of Maddix and props it up with one end hanging on the middle rope. Maddix pushes himself back up to his feet again, just as King turns around and delivers a hard boot to the gut. Maddix doubles over, with King instantly raising his boot once more and driving the toe-end of his boot up into the shoulder and snapping Maddix up to a vertical position for a clothesline. Only, Landon reads the clothesline and ducks under it. Not stopping, King carries on from his miss and hits the opposite ropes, charging back as Landon leaps into the air, hooking King for a Hurri-Lanrana. But King puts the brakes on, catching Maddix in mid-air! The crowd groan, but soon start screaming and wailing as King walks slowly forward...

*CRAAACK!*

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

...BEFORE POWERBOMBING MADDIX ONTO THE PROPPED STEPLADDER!!!

Comet: Sweet...mercy, no!

Riley: Ha ha! Brilliant move by the Champ!

The rope bounces Landon back off the ladder and face-first to the mat, as "The Icon" looks down on his actions with a beaming smile and his arms out-stretched, mocking the booing fans. A clearly worried Sexton Hardcastle rolls into the ring to check on Maddix. But he doesn't last long, as King chases him off and causes Hardcastle to run back to the safety of the outside. Meanwhile, Landon is clutching his ribs with a look of agony etched on his face...not helped by King dropping a knee into the lower back!

Comet: ...we may need some help out here for Citizen Maddix. That was a sickening landing on that stepladder.

Riley: Yeah, because the ladder was propped on the rope, the ladder snapped back too. Double whiplash for Maddix on the neck, to go with his achey breaky back.

Looking down on the challenger with distain, King pulls the stepladder from off the rope and plants it on the canvas, giving it a pat for some reason as he turns back to Maddix. With his ribs hurting, Maddix isn't able to get back to his feet on his own. But King grabs a handful of hair and pulls the challenger up anyway, drilling him with a punch. Maddix falls back to one knee as King looks over his shoulder, taking in the stepladder's position as he hooks up Maddix for a vertical suplex. But instead of lifting Landon up, the ICTV Champion stops and looks out to Kelly Connelly, before pointing up at the stage with his free hand. And sure enough, off runs Kelly up the ramp.

Comet: Now what is this darned corrupt woman up to?

Riley: Don't you see? She's going after the dumpster! If she brings it down to the ring, the...

Comet: ...then it'll be easier to throw Maddix in. I must admit, it is smart strategy from Citizen King. Even if he is getting assistance.

Riley: No DQs Comet.

"MAX KING SUCKS! MAX KING SUCKS! MAX KING SUCKS!"

As Kelly scuttles off, King releases his hold on Maddix to soften him up with some clubbing blows across the shoulder blades, before re-hooking him for the vertical suplex. With ease he lifts the 218 pounder off the mat, pausing for a moment before falling back and dropping Maddix straight south, across the ladder with the suplex!!!

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Maddix's back hits the steel with another sickening crack, followed up with a blood curdling scream from Maddix as the pain washes over his body! In the meantime, Kelly Connelly is busy putting her back into the dumpster, trying to push it away from it's position...which takes a lot more effort than you'd expect something with wheels to take. Eventually she gets it going though, as King watches on and sees his valet in trouble, so bails out of the ring to go and help. King quickly jogs up the ramp and reaches the top, helping Kelly to turn the dumpster around and slowly the two maneuver the dumpster down the ramp.

Riley: You know, I don't know why they didn't put the dumpster by the ring in the first place.

Comet: Well, maybe Suicide King thought...or, maybe, hoped...that someone would place Maddix in that dumpster and push him off the stage maybe.

Riley: I can believe that, yes.

After much pushing and pulling, Max and Kelly ease the dumpster down the ramp without it running out of control and squashing anyone...placing it and turning it to face towards the ring. By now, Maddix is by the ropes and using them to pull himself slowly back to his feet, still grimacing from the pain his ribs are in. King makes sure the dumpster is suitably in position, looking up into the ring as he does so. Eventually the dumpster is in position, and King rolls back into the ring with Maddix in his sights as he walks across the ring and picks up the steel chair. Maddix is now back up, hurting evidentally as he backs away from the ropes...

*CRACK!*

...into a SICKENING chairshot to the back! Maddix drops to his knees from the shot, as King drops the chair and runs past Landon into the ropes, bounces back with a boot aimed at Maddix's head. Maddix manages to duck somehow, but King puts the brakes on and quickly picks up the stepladder. Around turns Maddix, as King charges looking to take off Maddix's head with the ladder. But again Maddix ducks and King runs harmlessly past. The relatively light-weight ladder allows King to bounce back off the ropes, but as he charges back Maddix catches him coming with a drop-toe-hold, causing King to fall forward and onto the ladder he was holding!!!

Comet: There's a counter! And what a counter, as King tastes the stepladder!

The landing snaps King's head back before he slumps back onto the ladder, while Maddix backs off the ropes, coming back and dropping a Dangerous Kneedrop across the back of King's head! Rolling through, Maddix finds the strength from somewhere to run straight into the ropes and come back with a big splash on King...crushing his upper body between the splash and the ladder! Now it's Max's back that's hurting as he grabs at his upper back, while Maddix gets back to his feet. Still hurting, Landon falls to his knees as he has great trouble stumbling over towards the dumpster. Gritting his teeth through the pain, Maddix ducks through the middle rope and opens up both of the dumpster lids, to a pop from the crowd.

Comet: Citizen Maddix looks ready to end this match, Robert! He's ready to put the proverbial trash out!

Riley: I wish he'd take your jokes with him then.

With the dumpster open and ready to accept the loser, Maddix turns back to King who is back to his feet...

*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOO!!!"

...and lashing King's aching sternum with a knifedge! King gasps for breath, as Maddix quickly swings around the back of King with an enziguri kick aimed between King's shoulder blades...connecting pin-point perfectly. The smack causes Kelly to turn away weak-hearted, as again the ICTV Champion gasps and falls to his knees. Maddix doesn't want that though and pulls King back up, hooking him behind the head and looking to whip King into the dumpster...but as both men near the dumpster, King reverses the whip and throws Maddix over the top rope.

Riley: YEEE...Woah!

Comet: Maddix grabbing the top rope, saving himself from a 'Trash Landing'.

King takes a moment to realise Maddix has saved himself and is standing on the apron, hovering over the dumpster. Once he does realise though he promptly charges in...only for Maddix to duck under King out-stretched arm and drive a shoulder into King's gut. King groans as Maddix goes deep into the gut again and then a third time, before standing back and hooking "The Icon" for a suplex. He goes for a lift...but suplexing 250 pounds with a bad back proves too much for the challenger, as he ends up re-injuring himself in the process. So Maddix releases King and clutches his back, allowing King to back off and re-catch his breath. With his breath back, Max takes a backstep before charging at Maddix with his head primed for a boot...

...but Landon avoids the boot, causing King to crotch himself over the top rope!

"OOOOOOOOOOOH!"

The crowd groan as King's eyes burst open as wide as saucers, while Kelly cannot bear to look again as her man is hung up by the danglies. Maddix takes the opportunity to pull himself back up by the ropes, punching King square in the jaw. Wobbling on the ropes, King teeters and totters but remains on that rope, as Maddix pops him with a second jab. Again King wobbles both towards the ring and the dumpster but hangs on. So Maddix grabs King under the arm, looking for an Exploder into the dumpster! Hooking King up, Landon looks for the throw, but King hooks the top rope with his free arm and his legs. Landon tries again...but again, King blocks before elbowing Maddix off the grip. Away staggers Maddix as King helps himself off the top rope, gingerly stepping onto the apron.

Comet: These two men are in dangerous territory here. One wrong move, one slip, one foot out of place...and this match could be over.

Riley: Exactly! If King were to lose his title by being thrown in a dumpster, it'd be a TRAVESTY!

With both men on the apron, the dumpster below to their left, Landon comes back from by the ringpost and hits as much of a punch as he can execute. King's head snaps back, but he fires back with a right in desperation. Now both men are staggered, with both finding the energy to fire kicks at the same time. Both connect and double over from the other's kicks, with Maddix almost falling into the dumpster but grabbing the rope at the last second with his right hand. His position gives King to shoot off a back elbow...and a second. An attempt at a third is countered with a foot to the sternum though, rocking King.

Riley: Look at the desperation here. These two men are fighting on the brink here!

King is now the worse for wear, gasping for breath as he hovers over the dumpster dangerously...and with his opponent in prime position, Maddix runs across the apron. But King meets him with a boot to the jaw! Somehow Maddix stays on his feet, but that gives King chance to fire a leaping roundhouse around the back of the challenger's head. The dizzy Maddix falls forward into the ropes, unable to grab them as he bounces off...

...and falls into the dumpster, shooting up a fountain of old papers and other bits of trash as he lands!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Comet: And Maddix is in the dumpster!

Riley: I can't believe they actually filled it with rubbish! This is great! Maddix is buried in garbage, and I couldn't be happier...

Comet: The match isn't over yet Robert. King still has to close those lids.

But King is still feeling the effects, slumped up over the middle rope and coughing up a large wad of spit which he sends out towards the crowd. Kelly is screaming now, imploring her man to finish the job. He seems more concerned with his aching sternum however, so Kelly takes matter into her own hands and rushes over to the dumpster. Holding her nose, Kelly touches the first lid with her face screwed up and pushes it up and over!

Riley: There's one!

Kelly smiles and shuffles to the side, looking to flip the second over like the first. But before she can, Sexton Hardcastle runs over and stops her!

Riley: What!?! What's he doing!?!

Comet: Serving her a big, cold slice of JUSTICE~!

Indeed he is! Hardcastle positions himself in between Kelly and the dumpster, ordering her that she cannot win the match for King and the crowd are going nuts! Kelly cannot believe it, giving Hardcastle a tongue lashing...for which she earns banishment, to a HE-UUUUUGE pop from the crowd!

Comet: And now, Kelly Connelly is being sent to the back I think!

Riley: This is ridiculous!!! It's No Disqualifications, so Kelly has every right to he...HEY!

Suddenly the crowd's attentions is averted as a rather familiar looking female hops the barrier...Megan Skye! Kelly sees Megan but Sexton doesn't, and Kelly's protests fall on deaf ears. Allowing Megan to sneak past Hardcastle and reach into the back pocket of her jeans...

...and throwing a handful of powder into the eyes of the unsuspecting ICTV Champion!!!

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Riley: NO! THIS IS HIDEOUS! SHE JUST THREW HER DRUGS AT HIM!

Comet: ...

King grabs at his eyes, falling backwards through the ropes and back into the ring. Megan quickly scuttles around to the other side of the ring as innocently as possible, as more referees are piling down the ramp to escort the furious Kelly Connelly to the back! Still blinded, King is back on his feet but swinging at thin air, as slowly Maddix begins to emerge from the dumpster. Seeing the figure coming out from the trash, King sticks his hands out zombie-like as he reaches through the top and middle ropes for Maddix...

*SMAAAASSSSHHHH!!!*

...AND GETS A BOTTLE SMASHED OVER HIS HEAD!!!

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Shards of glass fly everywhere as King grabs his forehead, before slumping back into the ring...blinded and now glassed by his challenger opponent.

Comet: I think that was a glass bottle Robert! It really is amazing what you find in the trash nowadays!

Riley: I can't believe this is happening. This is total injustice...TOTAL injustice!

Still in the dumpster, Maddix reaches back down into the wads of trash that lay beneath him...and pulls out a can of Pepsi Max, which obviously pops the crowd. Pulling himself out of the dumpster and rolling back into the ring, Maddix is covered in various bits of smile, paper hangs from his tights and a nice ripe banana peel hangs in amongst his beshreveled hair. But, he has his Pepsi Max! Maddix stands over King with the can held high and goes to take a sip...but thinks better of it, deciding instead to give a toast to the crowd.

"MAXIMUM TASTE...

NO SUGAAAAAAAAAHHHH~!"

*SMAAAAACK!*

Comet: PEPSI MAX TO THE HEAD~!

Riley: My god. It's like some weird hybrid between puro and garbage wrestling.

Comet: Garburo~!

Down goes King, the sturdy Pepsi Max can nailing him right between the eyes as now blood is beginning to run down from his forehead. A low groan is coming from King now as he struggles back to his feet quickly, while Maddix has tossed aside the can and now picks up a steel chair. King is dazed, half blinded and total refreshed...as he turns...

*CRACK!*

...and gets LAMPED with the chair!

Comet: Citizen Maddix is in total dominance now! He survived a trip into the dumpster, and he looks ready to finish "The Icon" off!

King hits the deck, his forehead really beginning to bleed quite freely now, as Maddix steps over his fallen body and picks up the stepladder. The crowd are going uber nuts by now, cheering on "La Cucaracha" as he looks down on King...and then over to the dumpster, before back to King. In two minds seemingly, Landon looks to the outside and to Megan. More concerned with her man's hair care, Megan tries to point out the banana peel hanging from him. But Maddix reads that as 'dumpster', and with a smile he sets up the ladder by the ropes.

Comet: Oh no...Citizen Maddix may be making a grave mistake here Robert!

Riley: What's he going to do Comet? Dive in the dumpster himself? What an idiot.

Comet: Well...I assume he's planning to drag King up the ladder and then push him into the dumpster below.

Riley: Well that's ridiculous! That'll never work!

All the same, Maddix has the ladder up now and is slowly dragging the groggy ICTV Champion over towards the ladder, placing his hands on the top rungs. King is pretty much dead-weight, but Maddix still manages to haul King up onto the middlish rungs of the ladder. Slowly King slumps over the top of the ladder and stays there, hanging precariously as for some reason, Maddix now starts to climb the ladder. He quickly reaches the top (it is a stepladder after all), grabbing King as he does so and pointing down to the dumpster to give the fans a chance to cheer.

Comet: Here we go! Maddix is going to do it here!

But the time wasting is too much, as King suddenly finds enough from somewhere to push Maddix and send him crashing to the mat below!

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!"

The crowd groan as King suddenly gets another attack of wooziness and stops for a moment, pausing to get his wits about him once more. And once he does, the first thing he sees is Landon Maddix laid out on the mat, ready to be used as a landing pad. Smiling, King adjusts himself on the top of the stepladder as he begins to ready himself for a dive. But before he knows it, Megan Skye has entered the ring and charges the ladder...managing to get enough force behind her charge to topple it...

Riley: No!

...sending King and the ladder falling to the side...

Riley: NO!

...AND KING CRASHING INTO THE DUMPSTER!!!

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Riley: NOOOOOO!

With Hardcastle yelling at her, Megan quickly vacates the ring as meanwhile, Maddix is in a seated position...having seen what Megan did for him. His ribs are pretty screwed up, but Maddix grits his teeth and rolls out of the ring towards the dumpster all the same.

Comet: King is in! King is in the dumpster, and now all Landon has to do is flip the two lids over!

Riley: ...

The crowd are willing Maddix on as he gingerly limps over to the dumpster, looking more like an 80 year old than a 20 year old. Maddix knows that he's just moments away from the victory though and grits his teeth through the pain, grabbing the first dumpster lid and flipping it over!

"OOOOONNNNEEEEEEE!"

Comet: There's one!

Still there's no signs of movement in the dumpster as Maddix limps across to the other side of the dumpster...Megan metres away, already smiling from ear to ear unable to hide her glee, as Maddix flips the other lid...

...AND IT SHUTS!

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

*DING DING DING!*

Comet: IT'S OVER! Landon Maddix REGAINS the ICTV Championship!

"Megalomaniac" hits and the crowd go wild, as Maddix wearily collapses up agaisnt the side of the dumpster with his head in his hands.

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match...and the NEEEEW S W F Intercontinental Television Champion...Landon "La Cucaracha" MAAAAADDIIIIXXXXXXX!!

Across comes the belt from the timekeeper's table, with Megan helping Maddix up and passing him the gold, before the two share in an emotional embrace! Referee Hardcastle meanwhile climbs onto the apron, opening up the dumpster lids to give King some air.

Comet: Max King's first brush with gold ends after just nine days, as we have a new Champion! Landon Maddix has equalled the record of FALLOUT~!, of Thoth and of Sacred...as he is a THREE time Intercontinental Television Champion! Is this a sign of things to come? Will Mike Van Siclen achieve his dreams of becoming World Champion, or will his career end up with Max King…in the trash! That monumental match is still to come…oh, my what a night!

Thoth · October 9, 2004

The crowd is buzzing, getting themselves ready for the next match. The Rose Garden is quiet, true, but as the lights all around the arena go down, leaving a single God's eye spotlight on Funyon in the middle of the ring, one might get the feeling that something truly special is about to go down.

"Ladies and gentlemen! The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall! If Mike Van Siclen wins, he becomes the NEW S - W - F WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

These words set the crowd off, but their cheers die down quickly as Funyon ignores them, continuing on. "However, if Toxxic wins, then he RETAINS the World Heavyweight Championship, and Mike Van Siclen is forced to retire!"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Funyon looks down at his note cards briefly, and then looks up, speaking once more. "And now, ladies and gentlemen... the CHALLENGER..."

The spotlight on Funyon goes off, and a low cheer begins in the crowd as they wait for it...

"I'm head of the class!"

The 20,000-strong crowd absolutely EXPLODES, drowning out the next lines of "Popular" by Nada Surf as they rise in unison! Four explosions of gold pyro go off atop the ramp, and Mike Van Siclen steps through the curtain, his blonde hair tied back and tonight wearing black tights with the white initials "MVS" stenciled on the sides. The crowd roars for the Spectacle as he makes his way down the ramp, uncharacteristically ignoring the fans, focused on nothing but the ring, and as he rolls into it Funyon makes his announcement.

"Weighing in at two-HUNDRED and forty-one pounds, he hails from Harrison, Illinois! Give it up for the Spectacle... MIIIIIIIIIKE VA - AN SIIIIIIIC - LEN!"

"M! V! S!"

"This crowd is alive for Mike Van Siclen!" Cyclone Comet cries, the first time we've heard from him all match.

"Well, it's going to suck when he loses," Bobby Riley says matter-of-factly.

The lights go down once more, and Funyon clears his throat as Van Siclen begins warming up in his corner. "And now... the CHAMPION..."

A low boo begins reverberating throughout the arena, and the Smarktron screen goes white as the opening chord of "Rookie" by Boy Sets Fire crashes out over the arena. The screen darkens, and as it hits black the familiar slogan flashes up, one word at a time in jagged white letters...

"PREPARE

TO

BE

PROVED

WRONG..."

The guitar riff starts, and the black screen shifts, becoming the top of a spiky-haired head that raises and stares out with piercing grey eyes before a lopsided grin creases the right-hand side of Toxxic's face. The bass drum starts and clips of his matches flash up - the All-Show Brawl with the Insane Luchador, the infamous Glass Jawbreaker on Aecas, dropping Nathaniel Kibagami on his head with the Caffeine Bomb and the Super Intoxxication that won him the World Title..

...before moving onto footage of Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the four blast of red pyro that climb the entrance ramp before the final, stagewide eruption as the main riff starts...

*BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BOOM!*

...that signifies the arrival of the SWF's premier straight-edger! Toxxic strides through the smoke with the SWF World Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder as he makes his way down to the ring, the fans unmercifully booing the hell out of him as he walks!

"Weighing in at two-hundred and EIGHTEEN pounds, he hails from Nottingham in the United Kingdom, he is the Straight-Edge Sensation AND the S - W - F WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... TOXXXXXXXXXXXXX - IC!"

Toxxic rolls into the ring and stands in the center for a moment or two, Van Siclen allowing him to stand there as he throws his arms wide, and causes each turnbuckle to explode with more red pyro!

*BAP-BAP*

*BOOM!*

Toxxic hands the SWF Championship to referee Nicolai Soapdish, and he turns his back on Van Siclen, taking his shirt off and throwing it to Jet on the outside, turning around to face Mike Van Siclen...

... and Van Siclen is already right there, and he nails Toxxic across the face with a SICK bitchslap!

*SMACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

Toxxic's head snaps over to the side, but his pride is wounded more than his face, and as he turns back to Van Siclen he pounces, leaping at Van Siclen as Soapdish rings the bell...

*DING DING DING!*

Van Siclen backs up, throwing his arms out and stopping Toxxic by tying him up collar-and-elbow style. The lockup is effective in halting Toxxic's momentum, and Van Siclen makes good use of his strength advantage by pushing Toxxic back and into the turnbuckle! The wily vet breaks the lock-up, backing up a couple of steps, sizing Toxxic up before charging back at the turnbuckle, looking to crush his face in with a forearm -- but Toxxic ducks, stepping out of the turnbuckle and wrapping his arms around Van Siclen's legs, lifting him up and dropping him headfirst onto the top turnbuckle!

The crowd boos this, and Van Siclen grabs his head in pain, backing up a couple of steps -- and right into a rollup pin attempt by Toxxic!

"ONE!"

"TWO - NO!"

Van Siclen kicks out with ease, rolling back into a standing position as Toxxic gets to his feet, and the fans begin applauding for what they assume will be the Indy Applause Stance™, but everybody knows how much respect the Indy Applause Stance™ gets in the SWF. The two men charge at each other, and Toxxic ducks underneath Van Siclen's outstretched arm, charging at the ropes opposite Van Siclen! Mike whirls around, having expected this, and as Toxxic comes back he gets nailed in the face by a spinning wheelkick from Van Siclen!

"Van Siclen knocking some sense into Toxxic!" Comet cries, "and you can tell that he came ready to fight tonight!"

"It's going to suck when he loses, then," Riley says.

Toxxic hits the mat, and Van Siclen reaches down and grabs Toxxic by the scruff of his neck, lifting him to his feet. Van Siclen grabs Toxxic, and the two men lock up once more, but this time Toxxic grabs the upper hand, grabbing Van Siclen by the wrist and going to the side, locking Mike in an arm wrench. Van Siclen, however, has seen this move countless times before and knows how to reverse it, using his arm to pull Toxxic right into a huge knee to the stomach!

The champion doubles over, letting go of Van Siclen’s arm, and Mike quickly takes advantage, putting Toxxic into a standing headscissors! Van Siclen quickly lifts Toxx up, parallel to his body in piledriver position, the set-up to Van Siclen’s Riot Act!

“This match could be over far quicker than any of us imagined!” Comet calls, "and so could Toxxic's World title reign!"

Indeed, Van Siclen holds Toxxic there for a few moments, a suave smile on his face as he savours what he anticipates is a title-winning moment -- but Toxxic takes advantage of Van Siclen’s pause, wrapping his legs around the Spectacle’s neck and arching his back, snapping Mike over with a hurricanrana! The crowd boos this move from Toxxic, showing their support of Van Siclen as Toxxic gets to his feet, pacing around and trying to catch his breath.

Breath caught, Toxxic turns back to Van Siclen, grabbing the Spectacle by the hair and lifting him to his feet. Toxxic grabs Van Siclen by the arm, looking to whip him into the ropes, but Mike reverses slickly and whips Toxxic into the turnbuckle again! The champ hits hard, and Van Siclen walks to the corner with bad intentions on his mind, stopping short of Toxxic and scratching his nuts – before rearing back and slapping the Straight-Edger in the face with the same hand!

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

"That's the world champion!" Riley cries, shocked at the lack of respect. "You deserve to have your career ended tonight, you worthless piece of (bleep)!"

Toxxic's face snaps over to the side, and the champ is obviously seething from the show of disrespect from Van Siclen! Toxxic charges at Mike, looking for some vengeance -- only to get lifted high into the air by the Spectacle, then dropped neck-first against the top rope with a vicious stungun! The crowd cheers as Van Siclen grins, finally relaxing a little bit in the ring as he grabs Toxxic by the scruff of the neck once more, lifting him to his feet.

“Van Siclen has targeted the head and neck of Toxxic early,” Comet says, “possibly trying to recreate the strategy that produced so many big wins earlier in his career!”

"Don't forget 'blatant disrespect and humiliation', Comet," Riley snarls. "That's part of this new strategy too, obviously."

Van Siclen keeps a hold on Toxxic's neck, pulling the champion's face close to his own and spitting venomous words in his face, showing the utter hate and resentment that has built up for the Brit since his debut in the federation. Toxxic winces, Van Siclen's vice-like grip on his neck obviously doing some damage, but Mike shows no signs of letting go, dragging Toxxic over to a corner and slamming him face-first into the turnbuckle!

The crowd is shocked and silent, but this doesn’t get to Van Siclen as he continues the onslaught on Toxxic, grabbing the champion by the arm and whipping him hard into the ropes! Toxxic hits them hard, coming back fast and furious at the challenger, who swings his arm out in the hopes of catching Toxxic with a lariat -- but Toxxic ducks underneath it, hitting the opposite ropes! The straight-edger comes flying back at Van Siclen, obviously looking for some big move, but Van Siclen times his spin perfectly and clubs Toxxic in the side of the face with a huge forearm! The 'hot commodity' hits the mat hard, grabbing his neck in pain, and Van Siclen dives on top for the cover!

“OONE!”

“TWOO!”

“THR -- NO!” Toxxic kicks out at two!

“Toxxic makes the kickout,” Comet says, “but he’s obviously in a bad way right here -- Van Siclen has come out swinging tonight, and from the way Toxxic has been fighting back you'd think that he had already given up!”

"I take deep personal offence to that, Comet," Riley says, "and would like to point out that no matter what you say, you know it'll suck when Mike Van Siclen has to give his retirement speech tonight."

Van Siclen gets to his feet, his eyes glittering as he grabs Toxxic by the scruff of the neck once more, lifting the champion to his feet and whipping him hard into the ropes! Toxxic comes back strong, however, rolling over and looking to catch him with a spinning heel kick…

... but Mike catches him in midair! The crowd boos as Van Siclen grins, maneuvering Toxxic onto his shoulder and leaping forward, dropping the straight-edger on his back with a stiff powerslam! Mike grabs the fallen champion, lifting him to his feet and grabbing him by the arm, looking to whip Toxx into the ropes -- but the champion scores a reversal, using all of his might to send the challenger into the turnbuckle! The crowd boos Toxxic's sudden burst of offence, as the champion grins, walking with SWAGGER~! over to Van Siclen and reaching back with his left hand, looking at it quickly before bringing it across the left side of Mike’s face with a huge slap!

"TOXX - IC SUCKS!"

"And that's payback for earlier, you bitch," Toxxic snarls at Van Siclen, not showing much respect for Van Siclen as he nails the challenger in the face with a nasty European uppercut! The challenger grabs his face in pain, slumping down the turnbuckle a bit, but Toxxic grabs him by the air and savagely lifts him to a standing position, sending another European uppercut into the jaw of Van Siclen! Van Siclen again grabs his jaw in pain as Toxxic backs out of the corner, giving Mike enough rope to hang himself, if you will! The Spectacle stumbles out of the corner, obviously in a bit of pain, and as he stumbles out Toxxic grabs him by the head, jumping into the air and driving him face-first onto his knee!

The crowd boos this move as Van Siclen stands straight up, grabbing his face in pain -- but Toxxic is right there to pounce once more, grabbing Van Siclen around the neck and bringing him down with a swift DDT!

“Sobering Thought from Toxxic," Riley says, "and it looks like Van Siclen's career will be over right here!"

Toxxic, indeed, dives on top for the pin, and Nicolai Soapdish makes the count...

"OOONE!"

"TWOOO!"

"THRE -- TWO COUNT!"

Van Siclen gets the shoulder up, and Toxxic gets to his feet, grabbing Van Siclen by the hair and lifting him to his feet as well. Toxxic knees Van Siclen in the stomach, doubling him over, and then wraps one arm around Van Siclen’s neck to put him in a side headlock. Toxxic then turns, turning Van Siclen’s head with him to put the challenger into neckbreaker position. Toxxic pauses for a few moments, cockily allowing the tension to build up before breaking Mike's neck... but Mike DON'T WANT DRAMA~, and he whips his leg back...

*CHING!*

...catching the champion in the nuts with a back kick! The crowd pops for the move as Toxxic lets go of the neck hold, clutching his genitals. Van Siclen whips around, grabbing Toxxic's left arm and bringing it around the right side of his face. Van Siclen grabs Toxxic's right arm, now, bringing it around the left side of the champion's face, putting the straight-edger into a standing crossface! The crowd pops, knowing what's to come as Van Siclen drops to his left knee, bringing Toxxic down and impaling the champion's neck on his right knee with a Crossface Black!

"Van Siclen with the Crossface Black," Comet cries, "and his onslaught on Toxxic's neck continues!"

“Yeah, yeah, Comet,” Riley says. “It'll really suck when Van Siclen loses, won't it?"

Van Siclen leaps on top of Toxxic, looking for the pin!

"OOOONE!"

"TWOOOO!"

"THREE -- TWO COUNT!"

Toxxic gets a shoulder up, and Van Siclen looks down at the champion, grabbing him and lifting him to his feet. Toxxic clumsily plants both hands into Van Siclen's midsection, shoving him out of the way for a few moments so that he may regain his bearings! Van Siclen stumbles away, and as Toxxic comes back to he begins looking for the challenger... and he finds the man he’s looking for putting his head under his jaw! Van Siclen sets Toxxic up for the sitout jawbreaker, and looks ready to hit it when Toxxic reaches forward, wrapping his hands around Van Siclen’s neck! Mike moves back suddenly, trying to get away from the neckhold, but Toxxic holds firm to hte neckhold, holding the Spectacle out in front of him by the neck... and then Toxxic, possibly slightly CRAZY, drops a headbutt right between Van Siclen's eyes!

"Oh my GOD!" Riley and Comet chorus.

Toxxic pulls away, and we can already see the effects of the move by Toxxic, as blood is flowing down Van Siclen's nose like lava flowing down the side of Mt. St. Helens! Toxxic grabs Van Siclen, once again planting a knee into his stomach to double the challenger over. As Van Siclen bends over, Toxxic runs to the ropes, jumping onto the second one and using it as a springboard, turning around in midair and grabbing Van Siclen around the neck, spinning around (like a TORNADO~) and driving Van Siclen headfirst into the mat with a tornado DDT!

"Toxxic is definitely back on top in this matchup," Riley says. "I'd feign surprise, but I'm not surprised."

Toxxic bounces to his feet, quite on fire now, and he grabs Van Siclen by the hair, lifting him to his feet. The crowd boos as Toxxic goes behind Van Siclen, wrapping one arm around the Spectacle's head to put him into an inverted headlock. The crowd boos even louder as Toxxic stands up to his full height, holding Van Siclen in place for a few moments... before snapping him back, bringing Van Siclen down back-first onto his knee!

"There's the first half of the Detoxx," Riley calls, "and Toxxic is absolutely killing Mike Van Siclen's back! He's not just going to beat Van Siclen, he's going to beat him at his own game!"

The crowd boos as Van Siclen clutches his back in pain, and Toxxic grins, getting to his full height again and keeping Van Siclen in the inverted headlock, setting him up for the second half of the Detoxx. Toxxic grins, raising his free arm to taunt the crowd, who boo him raucously!

"TOX - XIC SUCKS!"

Toxxic grins, acknowledging the boos... but he's caught by surprise as Van Siclen snakes his left arm around the champion's neck! Toxxic's surprise causes him to loosen up his grip on the challenger's neck, and Van Siclen takes advantage by driving his right elbow into Toxxic's midsection! The crowd pops as Toxxic loosens up the hold even more, and Van Siclen grins, shifting his left arm so that it's wrapped around Toxxic's neck in front facelock position, and Van Siclen grins as he charges forward, leaping into the air and almost floating for a few seconds before driving the champion headfirst into the mat with a NASTY~ bulldog!

"Bulldog from Van Siclen," Comet says, "and who's beating who at which game now? Toxxic's neck is going to be jello by the end of this match!"

The impact causes Toxxic to bounce over onto his back, and Van Siclen drops down, putting a forearm into Toxxic's neck as he looks for the pin!

"OOOOONE!"

"TWOOOOO!"

"TH -- TWO COUNT!"

Toxxic gets the shoulder up through Van Siclen's weight, and the crowd boos slightly. Van Siclen heaves himself to his feet, his eyes glinting as he lifts the straight-edger back to his feet as well. Van Siclen grins, and he grabs Toxxic by the arms, whipping the straight-edge sensation into the turnbuckle! Toxxic goes flying, but as he approaches the turnbuckle he leaps into the air, landing precariously on the top rope and using it as a springboard to JUMP OFF~, whirling around in midair and taking Van Siclen to the mat with a flying forearm to the face! Van Siclen and Toxxic both land on the mat, the forearm opening Van Siclen's gash even more as blood now freely drips from the Spectacle's face. Toxxic lay on his stomach as well, seemingly trying to catch his breath...

...but he rolls over onto his back, scrunching up into a ball and kipping up! The crowd boos this as Toxxic lands on his feet, spreading his arms wide and walking with swagger around the ring before coming back around to Van Siclen, lifting the Spectacle to his feet.

"Van Siclen looks to take advantage of Toxxic further," Riley says, "but instead, the superior wrestler takes the scrub out with the role reversal. It's really going to suck for you when Mike loses, Comet."

Toxxic, now, looks to do something completely different, as he raises his leg high and drives it into the left knee of Van Siclen! The Spectacle stumbles a bit, not expecting this, and Toxxic grins, taking advantage by again raising his leg and driving it into the left knee of Van Siclen! This time Van Siclen falls to this knee, trying to get some rest as Toxxic turns away from Van Siclen, smile wide on his face as he runs to the ropes, coming back hard at Van Siclen and jumping into the air, looking to step onto Van Siclen's right knee...

... but Van Siclen lifts his right leg up, using it to kick Toxxic in the left shin! This halts Toxx's momentum dead, and he falls to the mat, grabbing his left leg in pain. Van Siclen gets to his feet, seemingly fine, and now he raises his leg high into the air... and drives his boot right into the neck of Toxxic! The crowd roars out for the move, as Toxxic grabs his neck in pain, covering his head to try and protect himself. Van Siclen throws in another stomp to the head for good measure before turning away from Toxxic, going to the turnbuckle and climbing it very methodically, soaking in the cheers of a suddenly VERY fired-up crowd!

"M - V - S!"

Toxxic, hearing the chants, rises to one knee, looking to see what all the ruckus is about. He rises to his full height, turning and staring Van Siclen dead in the eyes for a brief moment before the Spectacle leaps off the turnbuckle! The crowd roars as he extends his legs, looking as though he's sitting in the most comfortable chair in the world as he lands on Toxxic's shoulders, wrapping his legs around the champion's head and falling back, whipping Toxxic over with a flying headscissors! Van SIclenholds on for the bridge...

"OOOOOONE!"

"TWOOOOOO!"

"THREE -- NO!"

Toxxic JUST gets the shoulders up, and the crowd roars, fired up by the uncharacteristic move from Van Siclen!

"Holy Superhero Jesus," Comet says, "in all the time I've called Mike Van Siclen matches, I have NEVER seen him use a flying headscissors! He's pulling out all the stops tonight -- and DARN that was pretty!"

"Yeah, well, he's still going to lose, so who cares?"

Van Siclen gets off of Toxxic, rubbing the blood out of his face and eyes as he reaches down and grabs Toxxic, lifting the champion to his feet. The fired-up crowd lets their voices be heard, and Van Siclen raises one arm in recognition before turning back to Toxxic, grabbing the straight-edger by the arm and whipping him hard into the ropes. Toxxic comes flying back at the Spectacle, who looks like he's prepping for a lariat -- but at the last second Van Siclen GETS DOWN~ into the back bodydrop setup, catching Toxxic off-guard, and the champion rolls over Mike's back!

Van Siclen stands up to his full height, grabbing Toxxic by the feet so that the straight-edger dangles off his back, his head pointed straight down at the canvas! Toxxic wisely covers his head with both arms, hoping that they will cushion the impact as Van Siclen holds Toxxic there for a few moments...

"M - V - S!"

... waiting for JUST the right moment before...

"M - V - S!"

... he sits out, driving Toxxic headfirst into the mat with the Van Slaminator! The crowd goes BANANA~ as Van Siclen lets go of Toxxic's legs, allowing the straight-edger to tumble off his back, limp like Bobby Riley looking at a woman! Van Siclen rolls over, getting on top of Toxxic and looking for the pin!

"VAN SLAMINATOR! This could be all!" Comet cries.

"Yeah, but... it won't be," Riley shoots back, as Nicolai Soapdish counts...

"OOOOOOONE!"

"TWOOOOOOO!"

"THREEEEEEE..."

"TWO COUNT!"

"OOOOOOOOH!"

Van Siclen can't believe it, but the proof is in the puddin', and the puddin' shows Toxxic with his shoulder up! Van Siclen gets to his feet, obviously a bit upset as he wipes the blood out of his face once more, grabbing Toxxic by the scruff of the neck and lifting him to his feet once more.

"Van Siclen pulls out the Van Slaminator for a VERY close two count!" Comet says.

"It was close, but no cigar," Riley says. "And it was no cigar because Mike is going to lose."

Van Siclen grabs Toxxic by the arm, whipping him into the ropes yet again! This time, Van Siclen whirls around, standing still and just waiting for Toxxic to come back so he can lay him out some way some how, and as Toxxic comes rocketing back Van Siclen swings his arm out, looking for the LARIATO... but, naturellement, Toxxic ducks underneath it, charging at the other side of the ring! Toxxic hits the opposite ropes, charging back at a slightly confused Van Siclen, who turns around to find his legs cut out from under him by a soccer-style tackle from Toxxic! The crowd boos the maneuver as Van Siclen falls straight on his face, and Toxxic gets to his feet quickly, a sneer on his face.

Van Siclen gets to his feet under his own power, but he's stumbling around a bit, obviously off a beat. Toxxic takes advantage of this, running to the ropes once more. He comes up behind Van Siclen and quickly puts him in a chickenwing. He uses the momentum to swing himself around and grab Van Siclen's other arm in an underhook, and hops into the air, his momentum swinging him around as sits out, driving Van Siclen headfirst into the mat with the Toxxic Shock Syndrome!

"That move is in Toxxic's entrance video being done to the same man!" Riley cries out. "This is another one for the entrance video, subtitled 'Toxxic Makes Mike Van Siclen Retire'!"

Toxxic grins, rolling Van Siclen onto his back and looking for the pin...

"OOOOOOOONE!"

"TWOOOOOOOO!"

"THREEEEEEEE!"

"TWO COUNT!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Van Siclen kicks out!" Comet cries.

"Prolonging the inevitable, Comet. Prolonging the inevitable."

"M - V - S!"

Toxxic gets to his feet, the look of disbelief on his face plain to see as he screams out his frustrations to the nobody that cares. He grabs Van Siclen by the hair, lifting the Spectacle to his knees. He watches Mike carefully, waiting for the challenger to get to his full height, and as he does the champion runs up the ropes, using the top rope as a springboard to backflip off of! He extends an arm, looking to wrap it around Van Siclen's neck and take him down with an Intoxxication that would surely end the match...

... but nobody's home! Van Siclen darts out of the way, and Toxxic finds himself feet away from being spiked into the mat! Quickly, he rolls over in midair, landing uneasily on his feet with Van Siclen behind him! Mike wastes no time in charging forward, grabbing Toxxic in a front headlock with his right arm as he runs forward, leaping into the air and AGAIN driving Toxxic headfirst into the mat with a bulldog! The crowd roars as Van Siclen holds onto the neck long enough to situate his body, as he puts his right leg over Toxxic's midsection, straddling the champion in camel clutch position!

The crowd shrieks in delight, knowing what is to come as Van Siclen reaches forward, linking his wrists on the bridge of Toxxic's nose and pulling back as hard as he can, trying to break Toxxic's neck! The crowd erupts, screaming at Toxxic to tap out as Van Siclen looks almost animalistic, a vicious expression under his blood-soaked features, his hair wild and messy in his face as he pulls back on the screaming Toxxic, yelling at the champion to tap out!

"THIS IS THE CARDINAL SIN CLUTCH!" Comet cries. "Tag matches cut down on the efficiency of submissions, but this was the biggest move in Mike Van Siclen's arsenal for a LONG time, and he's spent the entire match building up to it!"

"We've seen one person escape it, and that man went on to become the most feared World champion of all time," Riley says. "Tonight, we see that pedigree continue, as Toxxic breaks this hold in record time!"

Van Siclen is screaming, and the crowd is chanting.

"TAP!"

And so on and so forth. The crowd's chanting continues as referee Nicolai Soapdish gets down next to Toxxic, asking the straight-edger if this is the time, if he wants to give up -- but Toxxic is on a mission to prove people wrong, and you don't prove anyone wrong by tapping out! Toxxic screams out a "NO!", and this "NO!" infuriates Van Siclen, who increases the pressure on Toxxic's neck, trying desperately to get him to tap out and end this match! Blood continues to stream down Van Siclen's face as Toxxic continues his refusal to give up, but now his hand is hovering over the mat!

"He looks like a broken man, Bobbo!" Comet yells. "He looks ready to give up, and live to fight another day!"

The hand continues to hover, as Toxxic contemplates through the pain everything that tapping out would mean...

"Broken man my ASS, Comet!" Riley barks back, for the first time showing some nerves. "He can break this hold. He WILL break this hold! Toxxic won't let a LOSER like Mike Van Siclen become World champion!"

Au contraire, though, Robert! Toxxic looks ready to slap the mat, and his hand begins shaking, as the fans scream even louder at Toxxic to "TAP!" in the hopes that he'll finally just listen! Through all of the pain it looks like Toxxic is beginning to look at tapping as the right choice, and who could blame him, after all the punishment he's taken, if he just gave up?

"This is EPIC, Robert!" Comet cries. "If Mike Van Siclen gets Toxxic to tap out!..."

"He WON'T, Comet! Toxxic will NOT tap out, not to Mike Van Siclen!"

Toxxic's hand is shaking furiously now, as tapping looks like his only option. We can see his eyes roll up, seeing the ropes close to him. But are they within grabbing distance? With one last dying lunge, knowing that it'll be over if he can't grasp the ropes this one time, Toxxic extends his arms as far as he can, and the 20,000+ crowd holds its breath...

"BREAK IT UP!"

... and they let it out in one collective sigh, as the bloody warrior gets to his feet, breaking the hold and screaming at Soapdish. The crowd's sigh is almost unmeasurable, and Toxxic lay grasping the ropes, panting for breath like an overworked dog, thankful for this miracle that saved his belt, if only temporarily.

"He broke the hold! He broke the hold!"

"Correction, he used a loophole to force Mike Van Siclen to let go of the hold!"

"Toxxic used his cunning to score a HUGE moral victory over Mike Van Siclen, and one could argue that momentum favors him now!"

This could indeed be argued, as a much less energetic but significantly more furious Mike Van Siclen goes over to Toxxic, roughly lifting him to his feet. The crowd can sense Van Siclen's rage, and the Spectacle jams his knee into Toxxic's midsection, causing Toxxic to double over and begin coughing, trying to get air back into his lungs. The Spectacle now grabs Toxxic around the midsection, heaving him up into position for a piledriver. Van Siclen holds Toxxic around the midsection, and the champions' legs are up around Van Siclen's head as Mike steps over Toxxic's legs, locking the straight-edger in position. Mike stands there for a few moments, the crowd coming alive again as Van Siclen looks for the Riot Act!...

... and he gets kicked square in the face by Toxxic! The shock and pain causes Van Siclen to drop Toxxic, clutching his face in pain. Toxx lands with Van Siclen still holding him in a standing headscissors, but this is perfect, as Toxxic wraps his arms around Van Siclen's legs and stands up to his full height! The crowd begins raucously booing, as Toxxic stands up to his full height, holding Van Siclen in position for a Van Slaminator! The crowd begins booing, and Van Siclen struggles against the hold, but his struggles are futile as Toxxic leaps into the air, adding an extra two feet of impact when he spikes Van Siclen into the mat with a jumping Van Slaminator!

"JUMPING VAN SLAMINATOR!" Riley cries, physically leaping out of his seat. "This is IT, Comet!"

The crowd is already booing as Toxxic lies back, holding Van Siclen's legs to create a bridge as Nicolai Soapdish counts.

"OOOOOOOOONE!"

"For Holy Superhero Jesus' sake, Mike, KICK OUT!" Comet cries.

"TWOOOOOOOOO!"

"CRACK OPEN THE CHAMPAGNE IN THE REVOLUTION ZERO LOCKER ROOM!" Riley yells.

"THREEEEEEEEE!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

*DING DING DING*

The crowd is dead.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, and STILL the S - W - F WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... TOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIC!"

The crowd begins booing as "Rookie" hits the speakers, and the crowd can barely bring itself to boo after the emotional rollercoaster they've just ridden. Referee Soapdish retrieves the belt for a weakened Toxxic, who gets to his feet and holds the belt high in the air. He looks down at Mike Van Siclen's fallen, bloodied body with the utmost disdain...

... and spits on it. And now the crowd will boo.

"TOXX - IC SUCKS!"

"Toss me a mic!"

The ring attendant obliges, and Toxxic holds it dear, his music dying down as he begins to speak.

"Mike, do you understand now? The Revolution can't be stopped, no matter how hard you tried. And now your career is OVER, Mike... have I proved you wrong yet? Have I..."

"And then you gotta BREATHE!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Urban Legend" Todd Cortez comes charging out from the back, his eyes blazing with fury as he slides into the ring. Toxxic turns to face him, not wanting a fight, but the uberpissed Cortez can't be stopped, and he grabs Toxxic around the neck! His eyes almost bulge out of his head from the fury, and the Urban Legend raises Toxxic high into the air... before slamming him down with a huge powerbomb!

"URBAN ASSAULT! URBAN ASSAULT!" Comet cries. "Mike Van Siclen may be retired, but he will NOT be disrespected!"

Todd Cortez grabs Van Siclen, helping his friend to his feet and supporting him as Toxxic rolls to the outside! The rest of Revolution Zero is already out behind Toxxic, making sure that he doesn't suffer another cheap shot from either member of the Boulevard, but the fans ignore them, concentrating more on the two men in the ring. "Popular" by Nada Surf starts over the loudspeakers, and even through defeat, Mike Van Siclen can look up at the fans and hear his name.

"M - V - S!"

========================

SWF Storm, October 8th, 2004

An SWF Production

========================

SWF Storm

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