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Guest Shutterspeed

How many posters to change a lightbulb?

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Guest Shutterspeed

Answer:

 

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

 

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

 

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

 

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

 

53 to flame the spell checkers.

 

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.

 

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"... another.

 

6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.

 

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".

 

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb"

is perfectly correct.

 

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in

violation of their "acceptable use policy".

 

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this

discussion to a lightbulb forum.

 

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and

lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped.

 

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs

and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum.

 

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique

and what brands are faulty.

 

27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

 

14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the

corrected URLs.

 

3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this

group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

 

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including

all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

 

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot

handle the light bulb controversy.

 

19 to quote the "Me too"s to say "Me three".

 

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

 

44 to ask what is a "FAQ".

 

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

 

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about

light bulbs".

 

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start

it all over again.

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Guest Shutterspeed

How many feminists does it take to change my lightbulb?

 

Two. One to change the lightbulb and the other to suck my dick.

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Guest Shutterspeed

It's fine with me if this thread degenerates into other list inclusions and chauvenist jokes.

 

...

 

Why do women take longer than men to orgasm?

 

Who cares?

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Guest Shutterspeed

How many men does it take to open a beer?

 

None. It should be open by the time she brings it.

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Guest Nanks

What do you do when your wife sits next to you on the couch??

 

Go back to the kitchen and shorten the chain.

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Guest Shutterspeed

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

 

Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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What do you do when a woman says "No"?

 

Break her in half!

 

 

Hey! This misogynism in the name of humour is awesome! Let's keep it up, because there's nothing quite as funny as domestic abuse!

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What do you do when the dishwasher quits working?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Slap the bitch and tell her to get back to work.

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What's the difference between a pile of stones and a pile of dead babies?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can't move a pile of stones with a pitchfork.

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The solution is simple. Ask to screw in the lightbulb a manner similar to Amok Time.

 

Then after showing your manly prowess and physical dominance you will prove your screwing is superior and the lightbulb will wish to mate with the "Alpha" male and will forget about the other guy.

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