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THE HEARTBREAKERS W/ MO' GREEN - "LET'S GET PHYSICAL"

 

The Heartbreakers have a music video now showing them working out to the tune of Olivia Newton John's "Let's Get Physical." Frankly, the video has to be seen to be believed, as it is impossible to describe. It was obvious that the boys certainly did seem to enjoy bouncing on balls a lot, though.

 

Awesome.

 

I need to pick up some of the older OVW shows methinks, from the sounds of this thread. Especially with The Bashams, if only to see what potential's currently being wasted.

Start off with a tape of August 2003... Doug v.s. Damaja... loser leaves town.

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THE HEARTBREAKERS W/ MO' GREEN - "LET'S GET PHYSICAL"

 

The Heartbreakers have a music video now showing them working out to the tune of Olivia Newton John's "Let's Get Physical." Frankly, the video has to be seen to be believed, as it is impossible to describe. It was obvious that the boys certainly did seem to enjoy bouncing on balls a lot, though.

 

Awesome.

 

I need to pick up some of the older OVW shows methinks, from the sounds of this thread. Especially with The Bashams, if only to see what potential's currently being wasted.

Start off with a tape of August 2003... Doug v.s. Damaja... loser leaves town.

He should start with December 2002. The last episode on that TV tape details what led up to the 2/3 falls Southern Tag Title match with Dinsmore and Conway v Damaja and Machine earlier that year. That will put the Damaja-Machine dichotomy into perspective, and he can then watch the masterful build towards the Loser Leaves Town match. Better to do it like that, than go into the match cold.

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Guest DeputyHawk

As usual, from www.ovwrestling.com who have pulled their finger right out of their ass as regards getting results up on the board quickly. Thumbs up, cheap pop, Dale Sherman.

 

Weird Matt Morgan wasn't given a decent run on the main roster. He was plugged into the top of the card as one of Lesnar's team-mates at SurSer 03, hung around for a month or so then was back down to training again where he's been for the last year. Did he get injured? Did they lose faith in him? He's actually a pretty decent big guy and certainly didn't stink the place up a la Mordecai/ Vengeance.

 

02/26/2005 - DAVIS ARENA

 

STEVE LEWINGTON VS. VIK DELICIOUS

REF:  Passion

 

A lot of action at Davis Arena this week, starting things off with a singles match between two strong men on the scene in OVW, Steve Lewington and Vik Delicious. Passion kicked things off nicely wearing a very-pleasing-to-the-eyes referee outfit to the ring. And with the eye-candy for the men, the beefcake for the women soon followed, with Steve Lewington arriving at ringside to shake a few hands and greet the fans. In between the two, Vik Delicious strutted to the ring as well.

 

Before the match could begin, Steve asked for the microphone in order to request that Passion frisk him for any possible "foreign objects" he may have had on his person. Before they could really get started, however, Vik mouthed off at Passion. This was enough to send Passion back in to ref-mode and the match was soon on with Lewington clobbering Vik and sending him out of the ring. Back in, Steve drops Vik on his extended leg and then twisted Vik's head and dropped him face-first into the mat. Vik countered and wound up with a near-pin that put Lewington on the defensive. Vik took advantage with a series of kicks and punches to the head, stretching Steve's mouth and attempting to twist Lewington's head off, before Steve finally managed to throw Vik off into the corner. Even with a series of punches to the head, Vik countered with an elbow to Steve's head and then a neckbreaker. Unfortunately for Vik, he decided to drum up cheers from the crowd in the corner instead of finishing Steve off. This allowed Lewington enough time to pull Vik off the ropes and give him a backbreaker for the pin.

 

THE HEARTBREAKERS W/MO'GREEN VS. BAMM BAMM & CLIFF COMPTON

REF: Ray Ramsey

 

A camera shot from the audience showed Alexis Laree collecting donations and given us all a reminder that the Crusade for Children is just around the corner once again. Speaking of reminders, a replay is shown of Mo' Green's interference with the M-N-M vs. Thrillseekers match from last week. If it caused any friction, Mo certainly didn't show it as he came out with the Heartbreakers, both of whom were wearing party hats made out of balloons. They dance over to Dean and Jim, putting the hats on them before moving over to the side of the ring to find two young Heartbreakers fans with their own tribute to the boa-doused duo, including matching outfits and a remarkable imitation of the Heartbreakers' dance. After much posing and rallying to the audience, the pair decided that Romeo would start the match against Cliff Compton.

 

Start Romeo did, with a lock-up being pretty much followed with a move on Compton that looked a bit more intimate than it should have been. That, or Romeo felt like performing the Lambada, the forbidden dance. Either way, Compton would have nothing to do with it, fighting back with two kicks to Romeo's head for a near-pin before tagging Bamm Bamm in. A knee to the gut by Romeo allowed him to drag Bamm Bamm over to his corner and tag in Promise, who then grabbed Bamm Bamm by the rear. In response, Bamm Bamm threw Promise to the mat and attempted a pin. Promise followed by doing the same to Bamm Bamm, but another pin attempt was foiled. Promise then tagged in Romeo so that the two could headbutt Bamm Bamm and then whipped him into another corner.

 

With Bamm Bamm in the corner, Romeo runs over and then does a move that is hard for this reviewer to describe. Commonly you would see someone spear a person in the corner with their shoulder, driving them through the ropes and into the ringpost. Romeo did this, but not with his shoulder, but rather with his back to Bamm Bamm and with the use of his hips, after some grinding as well. Now what do you call that? The Ass-Thrust? The Rear-Spear? The Lapdance? Whatever is was, it only stopped Bamm Bamm shortly, as he managed to wiggle out of the move and toss himself into his corner for a tag to Compton.

 

Compton clotheslined both Romeo and Promise, leading to a near-pin of Romeo. Promise was tagged in and the two gang up on Compton for a final slam into the mat and then the pin for the win.

 

The Heartbreakers' victory was short-lived, however, as M-N-M ventured out to the ring with their photographers, sign-carriers, and - of course - the red-carpet treatment. Sure, they have production value, but do they have kids imitating them at ringside like the Heartbreakers do?

 

They request Jim Cornette to come out to the ring in order to list two demands. The first is that they want Cornette to schedule a rematch between them and the Thrillseekers. Second, they want the Heartbreakers to leave quickly so as not to be destroyed when they "kick Green's ass." While M-N-M has no problem with the Heartbreakers, the Heartbreakers have a problem with M-N-M, stating that to get to Green, they would have to get through the Heartbreakers, and "you can't beat this meat!"

 

The two groups fight, leading to Mo' spearing Melina and holding on to her legs, while Matthews and Nitro attempt to drag her out. After a tug-of-war, M-N-M finally make a break and leave, leading to the Heartbreakers telling Cornette that they will prove to everyone in OVW that they deserve a shot at the tag-team title. More so, M-N-M better not try to touch Green again, or else they'll be left "heartbroken."

 

TV CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

BRENT ALBRIGHT VS. AARON "IDOL" STEVENS

REF:  Ray Ramsey

 

Brent Albright's domination of the TV Title has now entered the fourth week, with another $1,000 prize on the line. His opponent this week was The Idol, who arrived at the ring with Beth Phoenix by his side.

 

The two locked-up only for The Idol to grab Brent's head and throw him down to the mat. Pulling on Brent's hair, The Idol dropped Brent three more times on his back before Brent was able to do the same to The Idol. The two then traded punches, with an eyepoke from Brent giving him the advantage, clotheslining The Idol and then kicking him out of the ring.

 

A return to the ring saw The Idol on the offensive, but an elbow to The Idol's head by Brent allowed for a near-pin. The two continue, but the camera swiftly cut to ringside, where a vicious Trudy was attacking Phoenix. Trudy threw Phoenix into the ring to continue their fight, with The Idol attempting to get Trudy off of Phoenix, leaving himself wide-open for Inferno to run into the ring and attack The Idol. Beth attacked Inferno, followed by Trudy attacking Beth again. They all stumble out to the entrance, beating each other as they go, while Brent watches from the corner in comfort and amusement. With Albright still the TV Champion, he collected what appeared to have been the easiest $1,000 he has made so far at that rank, although it is announced that they are unsure how the $1,000 prize will be ruled that week.

 

SETH SKYFIRE VS. TANK TOLAND W/ CHAD TOLAND

REF:  Chris Kay

 

Seth arrived at the ring first, greeting fans and slapping hands as he made his way to the ring. He was followed by the neon glow of the Tolands, with their bright green trunks and shocking blond hair. Tank then ventured into the ring for the beginning of the match. A lock-up found Seth in the corner and then a toss, followed by a break between the two. Seth came out strong with a hip-toss, and even a slam to the mat by Toland did little to break an armlock Seth had on Toland. Seth found himself soon whipped into the corner, but countered by pulling himself up and locking his legs around Toland's head and twisting so that Toland found himself outside of the ring on the ground. Chad helped Tank up, only for both to find Seth jumping over the ropes and landing on top of them at ringside.

 

Seth tossed Tank back in for a near-pin. Seth then went outside of the ropes to spring up on Tank, only for Chad to grab Seth's leg. A kick to the head by Seth sent Chad flying, but it was enough time for Tank to ram Seth off the ropes and on to the ground. Staggered, Seth felt the punishing blows and kicks of Chad at ringside before being shoved back into the ring by Chad. Seth tried a spin on Tank, but Tank stopped the move and went for a pin that nearly ended the match right there. Tank put Seth into a shoulder lock that Seth finally managed to get out of with a blow to Tank's head. Seth then sent Chad flying with a kick to the head at the ropes and attempted to pin Tank again. When that failed, Tank and Seth began punching at each other until a bounce off of the ropes sent the two slamming into each other and both flying out of the ring.

 

As Seth scrambled to get back into the ring, Chad traded places with Tank and crawled into the ring. Kay noticed the switch and tried to force Chad out, while Tank came in from behind and clobbered Seth with both fists to the head. With Chad out of the ring, Tank rolled up the badly damaged Seth Skyfire for the win.

 

OVW CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE MATCH

ELIJAH BURKE VS. THE BLUEPRINT

SPECIAL REF: Mark Henry

 

Once in the ring, Burke announced that he was tired of three on ones, two on ones, and even bounties on his head that he has had to face in the previous weeks. Burke wants a one on one match and to ensure he gets that match with fair play, he has asked that Mark Henry be the special referee for the match that night.

 

Henry arrives to the cheers of the crowd wearing the new OVW t-shirt, which just goes to prove that the new t-shirts will fit all sizes. Such cheers are soon drowned out by boos as The Blueprint comes out with his sidekick Vengence. Their proud stance is quickly reduced by Henry, however, as he throws Vengence out and back to the locker room.

 

Even without Vengence, The Blueprint is ready to go at it, pushing Burke into the corner, although a punch to the head by the Blueprint is stopped by Henry. The Blueprint threw a fit over being stopped, only to find himself being punched by Burke in return. The two go at it for a bit, until Burke finds that a spear attempt was as good as running headfirst into a brick wall. Another attempt at the same went a bit better, but soon Burke found himself on the ropes and The Blueprint choking him before Henry breaks them up.

 

A pin-attempt led to Burke rallying for a comeback, with a series of punches to the Blueprint's head and stomach. The Blueprint then caught one of Burke's arms, and then the other, ramming the immobile Burke into the corner and then headbutting Burke into the ropes. Moving to the outside, The Blueprint threw a very painful kick to Burke's head, then went back in to attempt another pin, only for Burke to break out of it.

 

The Blueprint remained in control, with a series of kicks and a headbutt on Burke, until Burke managed to kick The Blueprint's legs out from under him. The Blueprint rose up to grab Burke into what no doubt would have been a chokeslam, but Burke turned the tables on The Blueprint and slammed the masked wrestler's head into the mat. Burke then followed with a flying elbow from the top rope, but a pin attempt remained out of reach.

 

Seeing his partner at a disadvantage, Vengence made his way to ringside, only for Mark Henry to jump out of the ring to attack. As the two went at it, Burke climbed up in the corner to perform another move, only to have The Blueprint shake the ropes, sending Burke over in a flip. Dazed, Burke remained where he was as The Blueprint went over for the pin. Robert Brisko arrived in the ring to count the pin, but when it failed, The Blueprint decided to take out his frustrations on Brisko. Henry stopped the chokeslam, allowing Burke to roll up The Blueprint and Henry to count 1-2-3 for the win, with Burke still OVW Champion.

 

From the other side of ringside,

Dale Sherman

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Okay, here's the report for last night's show...

 

OVW TV for 3/12/05

 

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor!

 

- Our hosts are Jim Cornette and the "Booming Bass" of Dean Hill. Tonight we'll see M-N-M v.s. the Heartbreakers for the #1 Contendership for the Southern Tag Titles, and talk to Danny Inferno and the Thrillseekers.

 

Beat the Champ TV Title Match

Brent Albright (champion) v.s. Lance "I got my name back since Lance Storm retired" Cade

 

Cade does the tired Texas horns sign that every Stan Hansen wannabe does. Crowd chants "Big Bird" at Cade. They lockup. Cade controls and pushes Albright into the corner. Ref breaks it up. They lock up again and Cade secures a headlock, Albright reverses into an armbar, but Cade reverses again into a DDT which Albright blocks and they end the tieup. Crowd chants at Cade again. Cade gets a headlock into an armbar, Albright reveres and hits Cade with a forearm. Cade claims there was a hair pull. Cade kicks Albright and clubberin commences him with some generic Stan Hansen/Barry Windham wannabe offense. Why can't a guy from Texas learn some different moves?

 

Albright finally kicks Cade and goes for an armbreaker, but Cade takes a powder. Dean Hill calls Cade a "crafty veteran"... JR will be calling him a "young rookie" for the next ten years. Cade gets back in the ring and gets clotheslined... Albright goes to lock in the crowbar but Cade escapes and bails from the ring. Albright follows him out of the ring but gets hit with the LARIATO~! outside. Ok, that was kinda nice. Albright gets hotshotted on the steel guardrail outside the ring (The guardrail is way superior to those stupid barricades they have now). Back in the ring, Cade covers for a 2 count. Neckbreaker gets to as we go to the...

 

--

Ad Break

 

Nick Dinsmore signs his arm off for YOU... for FREE... if you come to OVW in Elizabethtown! Who cares what the card is, see EUGENE LIVE and have him sign a bunch of crap!

 

Cornette has finally mixed it up and quit using the lava lamp backgrounds for the OVW ad shills. Epilepsy cares in Louisville just went down by 20%

 

--

 

Albright hits an elbow on Cade. Cade hits a russian legsweep for 2, then hits a belly-to-back suplex. Crowd distracts Cade with the "Big Bird" chants. Cade goes for a vertical suplex but Albright reverses and goes for a rollup.. Cade holds onto the ropes, then ducks an Albright clothesline and hits a DDT. Cade goes up top for the Randy Savage elbowdrop but it misses! I make a note to myself that I smell a ten-minute draw coming on.

 

They do the double ko spot as the ref counts to ten. Albright gets up and hits an armbreaker on Cade. Cade backs off and uses the ref as a shield, then clocks Albright with an "illegal closed fist" for 2. They trade punches and Albright hits an Anglesque belly-to-belly overhead suplex. Hill announces two minutes left Hill really makes Lillian Garcia look bad as he does timekeeping, ring announcing, interviewing and color commentary all at once, yet Lillian can't even do simple ring announcing. Albright hits a belly to back for 2. Kick, punch, elbow strick and another 2 count. Kneelift by Cade, Cade whips him around, Albright ducks a forearm but Cade hits him with SWEET CHIN MUSZACK.

 

One minute left. Cade gets a 2 count. Cade sets up in the corner for another Stevie Kick but this time, Albright catches his foot and reverses into a rollup. They trade more punches. Albright blocks a blow and locks in the crowbar on Cade! Crowd chants "break his arm"! There are only 15 seconds left as Hill counts down the time. The bell rings and Cade immediately starts tapping out afterwards. Crowd chants for "five more minuntes". Cornette hits the ring and Cade smartly goes crazy, stealing the $1000 check from the ref and generally being all intense and pushing Cornette around the ring. This shuts the crowd up. Cade says Albright was doing an awful lot of punching for supposedly being such a great wrestler. Albright says it's my money. Cornette says they're going to hold up the check for next week, and next week it's going to be a no time limit match. Fun Sunday Night Heat-level match and good postmatch segment.

 

-

Ad F'N Break

 

-

 

Danny Infero and Trudi are out. Inferno says he's like the Davis Arena fans as he's a hard workin man to had to work for everyone he's done and Aaron "The Idol" Stevens is a rich kid who never had to work. This is like a subpar version of a Dusty Rhodes/Ric Flair promo. Says Stevens is no real man. Next week, it's a Jersey Shore Streetfight with Inferno and Stevens. Didn't we just have one of these a few weeks ago that ended in a no-contest? Anyway, *THIS* Jersey Shore Streetfight is under Texas Death Match rules.

 

Trudi finally talks... and she has a STRONG southern accent. I guess she's from the "south side" of the Jersey Shore? Anyway, this pleases the Davis Arena crowd who chants for her. Inferno says Stevens' ass belongs to me. Medicore promo

 

Update on the S. Tag Team Champs... NEXT

 

-

 

Elijah Burke and Alexis Laree are reduced to begging for money for the WHAS Crusade for Children (a local charity telethon) in the crowd.

 

Let US take you back to last week when M-N-M were cutting a promo:

 

(cue nifty new dissolve... did someone buy some new video editing software?)

 

Matthews says a bunch of funny stuff making fun of Cornette but I'm too lazy to write it down. He's basically saying they deserve another tag title shot and the Heartbreakers are no obstacle. Melina calls Mo Greene a "midget" which is funny because she's not big herself.

 

The Heartbreakers come out and a bunch of guys come out parodying M-N-M's entrance with a pink carpet, guys with confetti, guys with signs, a couple clowns with balloon animals, a bellydancer, a juggler, and finally the Heartbreakers with a GUY IN A FREAKING BANANA SUIT!! The Heartbreakers knock the guy down and start grinding on both ends of the banana as I start rolling on the floor. Hey Michaels, your banana jokes just got pwned.

 

Anyway, the Heartbreakers are way over as faces which surprises me. They cut a Too Much esque promo with some crazy Brian Christopher laughing. Mo Greene says after the match, he'll take Melina as a hoe down on 7th street.

 

What the hell happened... it's a SUDDEN dissolve to The Thrillseekers v.s. The Tolands (aka the Blond Bombers) from last week. Thrillseekers hit some nifty doubleteams. and hit a double superkick on one of the Tolands. M-N-M run in to break up the match and the Heartbreakers make the save. Mo Greene and Melina were rolling all over the place here. Thrillseekers offer their hands to the Heartbreakers and after some hesistation, they shake their hands and then step over with the Thrillseeker's arms between their legs and do some gay antics.

 

--

 

We are back to "live action" now. Thrillseekers are out for a promo. This is probably going to be painful. Indyriffic promo about how they don't care who wins M-N-M/Heartbreakers and that the Tolands shouldn't get a title shot.. Jeter sounds like Heyman's been working with him this week on promos, but it doesn't help much. Mercifully, the Tolands are out to save the segment. Tank says they're not getting any respect and they deserve another title shot. Matt takes the stick and cracks a midget joke at the Tolands. The Thrillseekers say they're going to have to beat another team to get a shot and says they're out of the tag title picture. Tolands say they're going to make their presence felt in the division. I smell a run-in in the next match.

 

--

Ad Break

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#1 Contender's Match:

M-N-M (w/ Melina) v.s. The Heartbreakers (w/ Mo Greene)

 

Is Vince Russo booking... two matches in a hour? Melina looks like Carmen Electra this week. She's probably got about 7-inch heels on or something ridiclous. Heartbreakers come out to a big pop and they show some little kids in the front row dressed up like them. M-N-M break up the gay pattiecake dancing which Cornette acts like is the most heinous act ever (when a few weeks ago he was acting like the Heartbreakers' dancing was the worst). Double ass grab on M-N-M clears the ring to a big pop. Yes, folks, the Heartbreakers are the first face gay team in the history of wrestling. Match finally starts. There is a nice exchange of moves and one of the Heartbreakers gets a crossbody for 2 on Nitro. Matthews comes in and gets a double gay headbutt and a double gay wishbone doubleteam. Crowd pops big for this. Antonio gets a big splash for 2. Romeo is in and gets a headlock. He keeps kick Nitro's hand off the ring ropes whenever Matthews goes to tag him in a cool spot. Nitro gets frustated and comes in, and Romeo backdrops him while he's still headlocking Nitro. Romeo rolls Matthews over while the does a headscissors on Nitro! Both Heartbreakers roll up M-N-M for two. The ring is cleared and M-N-M try to leave the arena but the Heartbreakers stop them and carry them back to the ring. Romeo and Matthews finally back in the ring. Nitro trips Romeo. Nitro takes in and M-N-M double stomp them in the corner.

 

--

 

Ad Break

 

--

 

We're back and Romeo is getting stomped in the corner. Lots of cheating ensues, Melina choking him on the ropes, etc for a couple minutes. Crowd is way into it. I get lazy because I see the run-in coming. Romeo finally makes the hot tag and Antonio comes in a house of fire and hits some monkeyflips and a couple 80s moves. Ref gets bumped. The Heartbreakers hit their "Ereticle Dysfunction" finisher on Matthews It just turns into a melee with Mo Greene and Melina rolling around. The Tolands run out and start beating up the Heartbreakers. The Thrillseekers are out. A bunch of refs and wrestlers come out from the back but nobody can break it up. We're out of time... see you next week!

 

Another solid show, although there were a couple holes in the booking that usually aren't present. The promo work was very disappointing this week from the Thrillseekers and Danny Inferno. I suspect there will be a four corners elimination match in a couple weeks which should be fantastic and get about 30 minutes.

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Let's see how much I can phone it in this week...

 

Let the Bodies hit the floor!

 

Your hosts are Jim Cornette and Dean Hill.

 

The Heartbreakers (w/ Mo Green & a guy in an Easter bunny suit) v.s. Da Beast/Guy who looks like Gambit

 

Da Beast is a big, mildly hossish guy. He's teaming with another guy I've never seen before who threw a bunch of cards like Gambit. No names because I'm feeling really lazy. Heartbreakers came out wearing bunny ears and hopping over each other and generally using gay antics.

 

Winners: The Heartbreakers

 

Let us take you back to last week where there was a big 8-man tag and M-N-M pinned The Thrillseekers.

 

Let us take you to the ring where M-N-M come out for an interview. Let us note that M-N-M cut an excellent promo and the Thrillseekers' mic skills are still lacking. Next week, it's M-N-M v.s. The Thrillseekers, with Melina handcuffed to the ringpost.

 

"The Giant Killer" Mike Mondo (w/ Kenny Bolin & Miss Blue and w/o Drill Instructor Gimmick) v.s. Random Newbie, Amateur Wrestler from Cleveland.

 

Forget the guy's name. He was good. He won.

 

Winner: The new guy

 

Let us take you back to last week's match between Lance Cade and Brent Albright. Cade broke the crowbar and hit the ELBOW OF DOOM off the top rope. Albright kicked out, to the shock of Cade, and locked in the crowbar. Cade tried to reverse into a rollup, but Albright re-reversed back into the crowbar for the tap out. After the match, Albright says Cade "tapped out" and Albright is the "best damn wrestler in OVW". I want to see Benoit/Albright bad.

 

Jillian Hall (w/ Melissa Coates) v.s. Alexis Laree (w/ new funbags)

 

Laree's impants are actually a very nice size. Someone needs to tell her she looks better in dark colors instead of this purple and green junk. Jillian Hall is a bit buffed up since we last saw her, which unfortunately means her white trash chubby chin is back. Excellent women's match... Laree was great here doing a bunch of lucha/puroresu offense. Hall wins with Coates's interference... Passion comes out and gets the ref to ask the crowd what happened... ref restarts the match and Laree wins via rollup. Call these chicks up now!

 

Winner: Alexis Laree

 

Let us take you back to last week when they had a Jersey Shore Streefight under Texas Deathmatch rules that didn't end in a no-contest between Idol and Danny Inferno. The women interfere, Idol goes over the top rope onto a table that doesn't break. Idol gets a rag full of the LAME ETHER and kos Inferno with it. I bet Cornette did that finish just to piss off Heyman (who was there the week they taped this show).

 

Let us take you to the ring where Danny Inferno and Trudi DeNucci are out for an interview. Thankfully Trudi doesn't talk this week. Inferno cuts a decent promo... next week it's going to be a MIXED STREETFIGHT between Inferno/Trudi and Aarol "The Idol" Stevens/Beth Phoenix. OMG, OVW is HARDCORE.

 

Let us take you backstage for a promo from Tank and Chad Toland. Tonight, Tank finally gets his OVW title shot. We get comments from champ, Elijah Burke next, and despite having an insane amount of charisma, the guy sounds like he's reading his lines off a sheet of paper. No wonder he hasn't talked before.

 

Elijah Burke v.s. Tank Toland (w/ Chad Toland)

 

Tank Toland is really roided up... too bad he's like five feet tall. Seriously, he should go to Mexico and be a mini. Chad interferes, it backfires, Burke wins.

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I am dying to get this MNM/Heartbreakers stuff. Seriously, Cornette should be used as a member of the creative team with a sole focus on the tag division, because he understands it so well and has done wonders for these guys in OVW.

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I'll never understand why Vince insists on bringing up the not-so-good stuff from OVW (Chris Masters, ect.) but doesn't bring up and utilise the good stuff (tag teams, wrestling girls, ect.). Ugh.

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OVW TV report for 4/2/05

 

Taped from the Davis Arena in Louisville, KY 3/30/05

 

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!!!!

 

Our Hosts are Jim Cornette and Dean "The man, the myth, the mustache" Hill

 

Welcome everyone to OVW TV, where tonight Jim Cornette will tell us tonight's matches. Tonight, Aaron "The Idol" Stevens/Beth Phoenix v.s. Danny Inferno/Trudic DeNucci in a Jersey Shore Streetfight, MNM v.s. the Thrillseekers in a rematch for the Southern Tag Team Championship, but first.

 

BRENT "The Shooter" ALBRIGHT v.s. "The Giantkiller" MIKE MONDO (w/ Kenny "Starmaker" Bolin and Miss Blue) - Beat the Champ TV title Match

 

This should be boss. Dean Hill lets us know that "Ray Ramsey is your referee, kickin' things off on the WB". Why doesn't Lillian have a catchphrase like Dean Hill?

Lockup, waistlock by Albright and a take down, another one, another one. Mondo grabs his back and pain and stalls. Mondo shoves Albright, slaps him. Albright ponders the slap and then SPEARS mondo. Punches and fists a fury, whip to the ropes, overhead belly to belly suplex by Albright. Mondo throws Albright out of the ring. Bolin has the suitcase and sets up to to nail Albright, but the ref actually catches him! That's something they need to bring back in WWE. Mondo however kicks Albright in the midsection field-goal style outside the ring, then throws him in. 2. count. Stomp, kick. Mondo whips him in to the buckle and throws shoulderblocks at Albright. 2 count. Mondo locks in the octopus stretch on Albright, mistakenly called an abdominal stretch by Dean Hill. Man, is Inoki gonna be pissed when he gets his OVW tapes this month. Mondo runs into an Albright boot, double clothesline. Cornette says Albright is undefeated since he became TV champ. Ablright kicks Mondo, clothesline, whip, elbow, t-bone suplex, gets 2.

 

 

Whip, reversed, overhead belly-to-belly again. 2 count. Mondo barely kicked out of that one. Punch, whip to the corner, Albright misses chargined in after him. Mondo his the gutcheck (gorilla press---> lays down on the ground with his knees up gutbuster) for 2. Mondo goes up top. Albirght up, turns the slash into an armbreaker. Crowbar (armbar) is locked on! Blue distracts the ref who doesn't get much play according to Cornette. Mondo taps like crazy, but the ref doesn't see it. Mondo accidently hits Blue who goes flying into Bolin and they go down like bowling pins. Crowbar locked back in on Mondo... Mondo taps!!! Another $1000 for Albright Crowd chants "YOU TAPPED OUT", and Albrihgt says it on the house mic. "You just tapped out to the best damn wrestler on OVW today, "The Shooter" Brent Albright. BLASTER LASHELEY, resident OVW hoss and Bolin Services's muscle runs out to the ring and challenges Albright. Albright runs towards the ring, but about a million refs stop him before he hits the ring.

 

Winner: Brent Albright

 

Fun match, probably ** 1/2ish. Albright always brings the wrestling.

 

-- Ad Break-

 

OVW INVADES cloverport KY and reclaims it for the Rasslin Territory States of America! 7 big matches!! Sat April 9th. Belltime is 7:30.

 

OVW in E-town at the Community center, April 22th and 8 pm. Elijah Burke, Thrillseekers, Matt Morgan, etc.

 

We are back and Cornette is in the ring. He says Rasslemania is tommorrow, and 3 OVWers will be in the main events... Randy Orton, John Cena, and Batista. Batista gets a big pop. Cornette says come to Derby Park Expo 5 for OVW matches at 6, WM at 7. Now let us take you back to last week... wait a minute, what a serve... live in the ring here comes MATT MORGAN. He is super roided up like he is going to be called up to TV in a few weeks. Morgan rips on Orton, Cena, and Batista. He says he's the baddest and has the most potential of anyone who has come through this damn arena. He says all the hicks know it too. He wants to know who's fault it is that he's not at WM. He says Cornette called Morgan a Wrestlemania Moment waiting to happen. He blames OVW, WWE, and Cornette. Cornette says he'll tell you whose fault it is. He says take the silly mask off and look me in the eye. Cornette says he's not going to threaten him, but he'll tell him the truth. He is 7' 300 lbs. He says he has the most amazing skills of anyone who has come through OVW. He says Morgan has beaten everyone, and has more upside than anyone in this industry. He says Morgan has been held down... by MATT MORGAN. Morgan goes crazy. Cornette says it is your fault, because he has all the tools and skills. He says Morgan wasn't content to wait, Morgan tried to go to WWE before he was ready. He said Morgan turned his back on OVW and the OVW fans, his trainers and everyone. YOU Matt Morgan are your own worst enemy. He says Morgan's worst enemy is look in the mirror, it's you. Morgan grabs Cornette like he is going to destroy him. Morgan says calmer heads will prevail. He says he wants one more match against Elijah Burke. Cornette says Elijah Burke has never backed down from a fight. Next week, Cornette will give you an answer on challenging Burke. Morgan says with or without that mask, Morgan will show why he's the Blueprint of OVW. Great segment.

 

Next, Tag Titles on the line

 

- AD BREAK

 

 

SEE WRESTLEMANIA FOR FREE ON OVW'S DOLE... er for $10 but it's cheaper than $50... and you get to watch it with toothless white trash ruining it for you!!

 

 

Holy fuck, a cell phone commerical during OVW? White trash have cell phones? Ok, here's a gun show ad... that's more like it!! YEAH!!2nd poker ad of the ad break!!! w00t!

 

We are back...

 

M-N-M (JOHNNY NITRO & JOHNNY MATTHEWS w/ Melina) v.s. THE THRILLSEEKERS (JOHNNY JETER & MATT CAPPOTELLI) for the Southern Tag Team Titles

 

Melina will be cuffed to the ringpost, TONIGHT. No sign guys tonight for MNM due to lack of mark trainees to hold signs. Is everyone gone for springbreak? No splits under the bottom rope for Melina tonight.... the refs handcuff Melina to the ropes. Crowd doesn't like no splits. Melina is "handcuffed" to the post. The Thrillseekers come out looking like a bunch of thugs. Ref is Rob Briscoe, the lost Briscoe brother. The Thrillseekers' white boots look really bush league tonight like they bought them at K-Mart. MNM try to release Melina. MNM hide by Melina. Refs break them up and try to get the match start. Matthews and Matt start. Matt cleans house, Matthews, whipped into the corner. Matt slides under Matthews's attack in the corner and goes outside the ring, kisses Melina. Matt back in with a sunset flip from the apron, but blind tag made to Nitro. Trade punches, whip, reverse, clothesline ducked. Nitro chase Matt around the ring. Nitro goes for a sunset flip from the outside but he hits nothing but air. Double elbow, Jeter in. punches to Jeter. Matthews in, whip, double clothesltne ducked, double clothesline to MNM. whip reversed, forearm, dropkick by jeter. Hiptoss. Neckbreaker. 1, Nitro breaks it up, Nitro punched out of the ring, whip whip reversed. Nitro back in and backdrops Jeter over the top rope !! HOLY SHIT... that was a sick bump. Nitro throws Jeter into the ring, 2 count, Nitro tags in.

 

- AD BREAK.

 

That was a 70 seocnd ad break instead of a one minute ad break, Cornette = A LIAR. Don't rust that carnie scum. Back in the ring, knee to the gut, two count. Nitro taged in, double suplex. 2 count but Matt breaks it up. Jeter in trouble. SCOOOOOP slam.. 2 count. WB logo fucks up in the corner of the screen and swells to take up the whole screen for a minunte. Double breakbreaker in a nice spot, sort of a rockbottom on both knees. Double arm whip into the corner and Jeter does a flair flip to sell. Stomp by matthews, Matthews chokes Jeter on the ropes. Nitro punches Jeter on the apron. Backbreaker by Matthews... now a bow and arrow submission on Keter.

 

Jeter knees out. Nitro tagged in, grabs Jeter. Jeter tries to fight his way to his corner for several seconds. Enizugri, a TSN-style quick cut away to the crowd so the spot must have been fucked. Matt in cleaning house, many clothlesines, jumping leg lariat. Matthews flajacked onto Nitro (!)... nipup. shakey-shakey legdrop. 2-count! Matthews suplexed in... reversed into a crossbody... long 2 count.! Jeter baseball slides Matthews. Matt/Nitro in, but Jeter is back in too! DOUBLE SUPERKICK. Matthews makes the save. Boot to the the gut... jeter thrown outside. Matt throws Joey out out. Matt up to the top... Matthews back in, throws Matt off the top to the outside! MNM call for the snapshot. Jeter in to bust it up... double rollup by the Thrillseekers on MNM gets 1-2-3! MNM go crazy! Double superkick to MNM. Melina is unhandcuffed and in the ring. She tries to hit The Thrillseekers with the handcuffs but it doesn't have much effect. They go to spank her but MNM blindside THe Thrillseekers. Massive beatdown. Snapshot (It's a 3-D, but the guy holding the neck does a DDT instead of a Diamond Cutter) on Jeter... Snapshot on matt. MAC JOHNSON is back along with his partner SETH SKYFIRE!. Big dropkicks for everyone .. they clear the ring and make the save. Mac Johnson says MNM put him in the hospital and now they want 3 things M-N-M. You put me in the hopsital but you didn't put me 6 feet under!

 

Winners: The Thrillseekers

 

Really fun match, probably in the *** 1/4 neighborhood.

 

AD BREAK

 

Summer Sizzler Series is coming at Six Flags!

 

Ancient "Disney's Greatest Hits" commercial How come OVW has some sponsors all of a sudden that weren't pawn shops/poker/dating services?

 

We are back and the Heartbeakers/Mo Greene are selling gay sex in the crowd in exchange for money for the WHAS Children's Crusade.

 

Let us take you back to last week after we went off the air. TES!

 

TOMMY DREAMER is in the ring. He says he works behind the scenes in WWE. His job is to see who is going to be the next Rock or Stone Cold. Dreamers says people who come out of OVW are the top guys in this business, from Randy Orton to Rob Conway to Eugene. "Now for business I wanted to come out here and make an announcement". M-N-M come out and intterupt. No sign marks last week either. Nice to have your own red carpet ready for your run-in. We do get our splits from Melina on in this segment... sweet.

 

Matthew says these people don't want to hear your special announcement Dreamer. Matthews say we're kind of a big deal around here. He says we're the stars... we're the reaons people come out here. He says we're the reasons the OVW TV ratings are through the roof. He says it's 2005, we make the headlines... Dreamer is maybe 1995. Dreamer says I don't mean to interrupt the great MNM. Dreams says the 400 people here think you're an ASSHOLE. Matthew says Dreamer is a hasbeen, washed up. He says he sucked in WWE, and sucked in ECW. He says as much as we hate your fat stinkin guts, there's someone in the back who hates you even more! He does the NWO point..

 

It's LANCE STORM~!~! Storm has either done nothing since he retired but lift or else he's on the juice for his comeback, because he looks much bigger than he ever has in his career. "IF I CAN BE SERIOUS FOR A MINUTE. You're out here braggin about all the young talent you've hired. You want a real superstar. You go hire someone from CALGARY, Alberta Canada."

Does this mean Ted Hart is on the WAY IN? I'm marking like crazy at this point.

 

"Let's face it Dreamer. Let's face it dreamer, when ECW folded you were nothing." Storm says he went onto WCW to be a 3-time US champ.. he held the Hardcore, US, and Cruiserweight titles all at once. He says in WWE, while Dreamer was curtain-jerking on heat... he held the IC title... and was a 4-time tag champ. He says the only time Dreamer was anything in this business was in ECW, and "I was kicking your ass there too!"

 

Dreamer is going to come out of retirement and have his "alleged" last match here in OVW. He said he was going to have an open challenge, bu the has two friends who would like to be his tag team parnters. The DUDLEY BOYS are out and the crowd goes crazy and we have a six-man tag team match! ECW ECW ECW ECW

 

 

THE DUDLEY BOYS (BUH BUH & D-VON) & TOMMY DREAMER v.s. MNM (JOEY MATTHEWS & JOHNNY NITRO) & LANCE STORM(highlights)

 

It's an ECW PPV preview with five former roster members in a match. Dreamer does the uuuuultimate warrior rope shank. Dream has a red OVW t-shirt proving he is the biggest company suckup ever.

 

Snip and Buh Buh slaps Matthews in the corner. Pulls Matthews hair and goes for anosther slap. WOOOO. Matthews rolls out of the ring. We cut and D-von and Storm are in. D-Von an house of fire. Storm gets shoulderblocked. Nitro backdropped . Flapjack to storm. More clothesline. Melina in the ring. Slaps buh buh, but Buh Buh blocks. Buh Buh pulls down Melina's skirt~!, revealing her luscious booty. SWEET. Matthews and Buh Buh in. slam. Wazzup headbutt. We cut to Storm doing the job. Matthews comes back out with a tennis racket and beats everyone up them up.

 

The Thrillseekers make the save. Buh buh says for the past 10 years. He says they have the honor of being in one of the best teams in pro wrestling. He says that the Thrillseekers will be one of the best teams in pro wrestling. he says they are the future of tag team wrestling. Dreamer says there is another great tag team in OVW. They are... THE HEARTBREAKERS (w/ MO GREENE).

 

It's Raining Men and the Heartbreakers come out in street clothes and doing a bunch of gay dancing. They hop on the dudleys and start humping them. Dudleys clear the ring. Buh Buh grabs a kendo stick and tries to hit them. Dreamer says they're good people. Dreamer says he's seen the Dudleys do everything in this business, from barbed wire to TLC matches, but he's never seen the Dudleys dance.

 

He tells the sound guy to hit the music again and "It's Raining Men" fires up again on the PA. Everyone except Dreamer/Dudleys start gay dancing with The Heartbreakers. Hilarious. Mo Green and the Heartbreakers start grinding on D-Von Dudley until he starts dancing in about 10 seconds. Everyone urges Buh Buh to dance.. he holds out for about 20 seconds. .. he does some crazy super white boy dancing. Buh Buh does the WORM. D-Von, does a spinarooni. Mo Greene marks. They get Tommy to dance after much gay humping by all three Heartbreakers for about a minute. This is like some bizzarre hazing ritual by Cornette for the ECW guys. Dreamer busts out some even better, Napoleon Dynamite-style, white boy dancing. it's official, Dreamer is whiter than Buh Buh. We cut and everyone on the roster starts gay dancing with a bunch of little toothless kids JYD style (or they may have been midgets, who can tell in a 6 second clip) and PEDOmania runs wild. Did Rob Feinstein book that last part? Perhaps the greatest segment ever in the history of wrestling.

 

Up next... the JERSEY SHORE STREETFIGHT ECW ECW ECW

 

-Ad BREAKER

 

150th episode of Charmed... how the hell does that show get to 150 episodes?

 

Singles line ad cuz all OVW fans are virgin losers

 

Jersey Shore Streetfight AARON "The Idol" STEVENS/BETH PHOENIX v.s. DANNY INFERNO/TRUDI DENUCCI

 

Inferno comes out with New Jack style plunder. PUnching. Girls are fighting on the announce table. Dean hill looks all horny at this display. Cornette leaves the table like the geek his is. Idol punches Stevens. women run around rinside. Trudi has a trash can lid. hits Phoenix on the head. Opens up a sack. it's hairspray. sprayed in the eyes! Another panties shot from under Phoenix's skirt. And people think Heyman's bad? Trudi puts lipstick all over Beth. She's got a oversized BRA. Choking phoenix with it. That looks like one of Synn's Chokes beth in the ropes.

 

Idol in the ring, grabs Trudi by the hair. Oh yeah, the men were wrestling too off-camera Infero in.. lowo blow, slap, punch. Ref counts down Idol. Apparently this is yet another version of a "Jersey Shore Streetfight" where you just get counted down instead of having to get pinned before the ref starts counting. Gets to an 8 count before Idol gets up. Beth thrown out of the ring. Trudi punches agway. Idol Women fight to the back. Inferno gets backdropped over the top rope. Iodl grabs a mop handle and breaks it over inferno's chest. Phoenix back out. Throws coffee in Denucci's eyes. Everyone bounces heads off the annouce table old-school Raw main event style. women fight on the announce table and start rolling all over it. This is pretty wild here. Stevens grabs a broom from the janitor's closet and clocks infero. Dean is out of commission. 9 count and the faces are up. Heels take over again. both back into the ring. Dean is back now. Lots of punching. Double whip, double duck. Faces come back with punches in stereo. Both go down. Stevens tied up in the tree of woe. Trudi grabs Phoenix the hair. Phoenix goes into Steven's crotch! What a low blow. Cornette says "that's the most painful time she's been down there". Double whip. Double trash can shot. Chris Kay counts Stevens down. 10 count... Stevens is koed.

 

Winners: Danny Inferno and Trudi DeNucci

 

Really intense brawl, albeit with no much sense to it. Let's say about ** 1/4.

 

Beth Phoenix in the ring. throws powder in Danny Inferno's eyes. DeNucci mounts Phoenix and starts wailing on her with punches. Idol has Trudi, and sets up a piledriver. Stiff piledriver looks wicked. DeNucci sells it Memphis style and lays motionless on the canvas. Cornette reminds us that piledrivers are ILLEGAL in OVW. The heels act like they may have crossed the line and went to far.

 

- AD BREAK

 

We are back abd Cornette talks in the serious "Owen died" tone that always pisses me off. Trudi getting stretchered out and still isn't moving. Cornette says this is tragic and we will update you on Trudi's condition next week.

 

Really awesome show, after a couple medicore ones the last two weeks. All the matches were good, plus a kickass Cornette/Morgan segment and the ECW segment from last week after we went off the air. No replays of footage from last week makes me a happy camper.

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Ripped from OVWrestling.com

 

04/09/2005 - DAVIS ARENA

 

    * THE HEARTBREAKERS VS. KEN ANDERSON & EL DIABLO NEGRO

    * INTERVIEW WITH MATT MORGAN & ELIJAH BURKE

    * BRENT ALBRIGHT VS. SEVEN

    * INTERVIEW WITH MAC JOHNSON & SETH SKYFIRE

    * THE THRILLSEEKERS VS. THE BLONDE BOMBERS

 

THE HEARTBREAKERS VS. KEN ANDERSON & EL DIABLO NEGRO

REF: Ray Ramsey

 

A series of intense OVW matches, along with a return of an old OVW favorite, started off with the arrival of The Heartbreakers, with both Promise and Romeo riding scooters several times around the announcer's table and then out to the audience. The OVW audience seems to show more love for these guys every week and the costumes amongst their fans are getting more elaborate as well.

 

No Heartbreakers match could start until Promise and Romeo did their handslapping, hip-thrusting dance for the audience, which they did as they entered the ring with the always styling Mo' Green. In the opposite corner awaited their opponents: Ken Anderson and the mysterious masked-wrestler, El Diablo Negro, who was pumped and ready to go at it with his deadly hands of steel. The Heartbreakers played a little game of "rock, paper, scissors" to determine that Promise would start off the match, and Ken Anderson changed places with El Diablo Negro in order to start off the match with Promise.

 

A lockup found Anderson in a headlock, which he broke off with a shove of Promise to the ropes. Promise shoulder-tackled Ken to the mat and then moved to the ropes again. Ken, seeing Promise go to the ropes, positioned himself on his stomach to get up, only to find Promise jumping from the ropes to squat on his back. As Anderson got up on his hands and knees in surprise, Promise started riding Anderson like a horse, although Anderson looked more the jackass there, with Promise slapping Anderson on the behind as Anderson tried to scramble out from under the Heartbreaker. Once away, Anderson ran to Ramsey to protest, and even slapped the referee on the behind to demonstrate what had happened, but Ramsey probably knew the rulebook didn't cover horseplay, so he let the situation go.

 

Having enough, Anderson tagged in El Diablo Negro. As the black devil entered the ring, The Heartbreakers rallied to the audience, building up a cheer as Promise tagged in Romeo. Romeo and El Diablo Negro locked-up, with Romeo pushing EDN to the waiting arms of Promise, who held El Diablo Negro at the ropes as Romeo slapped him hard across the face. Locking up again in the center of the ring, El Diablo Negro turned the tables on Romeo by moving him to his own corner and having Ken Anderson hold Romeo. However, just as he was about to give Romeo a good face-whipping, Romeo scurried off to the side, leading to El Diablo Negro facing Anderson. A worried Anderson was relieved when El Diablo managed to pull his hand back from connecting with the swing, but they were both startled long enough for Romeo to setup the … um … Thumb's Up to El Diablo Negro's keister. El Diablo Negro flew forward in surprise, knocking Anderson off the apron and driving El Diablo to his knees in the ring. Holding on to El Diablo Negro, Romeo threw the wounded masked man out of the ring. Ramsey pushed Romeo off to scold him, allowing Mo' enough time to drive home a double eyepoke to El Diablo Negro on the floor. Well, with a name like Mo', a Stooges move should come naturally, one would expect.

 

Semi-blind, El Diablo Negro was helped back into the ring by Mo' and soon found himself in the middle of a dance by Promise and Romeo in the center of the ring. The dancing jittered the man to his knees, while a very busy Ramsey had to force Promise back to his corner. With Ramsey's back turned, however, Anderson crept in and jabbed Romeo in the back with an elbow. Taking the advantage, El Diablo Negro thrust his steely hands into Romeo's back several times, allowing him to go for a pin-attempt. With Romeo kicking out at the last minute, El Diablo Negro dragged Romeo to the corner and tagged in Anderson.

 

Kicking Romeo in the behind for past discretions, Anger punched and slammed Romeo before tagging in El Diablo Negro again. El Diablo Negro dropped an elbow on the prone Romeo's chest and went for a pin, which Romeo threw off. Sitting Romeo up, El Diablo Negro then went for the devastating Carotid Clutch, jamming both hands on Romeo's shoulder by the base of the neck. Although in obvious pain from the move, Romeo managed to rise up from the mat and elbow El Diablo Negro in the gut. El Diablo Negro picked up Romeo as if to powerslam him, but Romeo turned it into a sunset flip attempt, which El Diablo Negro tried to block by bending forward to drive a fist into Romeo's face. Romeo used the moment to maneuver out from under El Diablo Negro and leapt to his corner, tagging in Promise.

 

Promise clotheslined El Diablo Negro and then did the same to Ken Anderson, who ran in to protect his partner. Grabbing El Diablo Negro, Promise threw him up and down for a powerslam and then backdropped Anderson. Seeing El Diablo Negro trying to steady himself in the corner, Promise pointed him out to the audience and then ran towards El Diablo Negro, only to get an elbow in the face. Seeing a chance, El Diablo Negro ran towards a battered Promise for a DDT, but Promise turned it into a swinging powerslam for a pin attempt that was stopped by Ken Anderson.

 

Romeo took off after Ken, hitting him with an elbow; Anderson countered by throwing Romeo out of the ring. Anderson and El Diablo Negro teamed up on Promise by whipping him into the ropes, where Promise managed to hold on while Romeo reached through the ropes and pulled Anderson out by the legs on to the floor. El Diablo Negro took a swing at Promise's head, but missed, allowing for Romeo and Promise to double-team slamming El Diablo Negro to the mat and Promise got the pin for the win.

 

BACK TO TOP

 

INTERVIEW WITH MATT MORGAN & ELIJAH BURKE

 

Jim Cornette appeared in the center of the ring, along with three OVW refs to introduce Matt Morgan to the audience. Matt must be taking some pointers from Aaron "The Idol" Stevens and Beth Phoenix, as he looked very sharp in his suit and designer sunglasses. So did Elijah Burke, although in his own style, with an open shirt and the Championship belt over his shoulder.

 

Jim Cornette advised the two - although he was directing his comments more to Morgan than Burke - that now was not the time to settle the score between the two. Instead, he reminded Morgan that he had demanded a match between him and Burke, with the stipulation that if Morgan lost, he would admit that there was no vast conspiracy to stop him from getting to WWE. As Cornette had mentioned the previous week - Burke has never turned down a match request and this was to be no exception as Elijah had agreed to meet Matt Morgan in the OVW ring in seven days.

 

Grabbing the microphone from Cornette as the audience chanted, "Morgan sucks," at the top of their lungs, Morgan told the fans - or "trailer park bags of trash" as Morgan called them - to shut up. He then advised Cornette and Burke that when he wins the match next week it will show everyone that Cornette has been holding him back. Burke corrected Morgan by saying that it should be IF, not WHEN, Morgan beats him. He then reminded Morgan that he had beaten him three times in the past, so why did Morgan suddenly think he could destroy Elijah's dream of being OVW Champion? Burke then warned Morgan not to come next week like "a cabbage: all head and no ass!"

 

Matt told Elijah that he was sick of hearing about Burke's dreams. Morgan then grabbed Burke by surprise and powerbombed him right there in the middle of the interview. As the referees tried to pull Morgan away (with Ref. Robert Brisko getting a fistful of hate from Morgan in reply), Burke rolled in agony on the mat.

 

Morgan picked up the microphone and looked down at Elijah, telling him that he may have his dreams, but he would be living a nightmare next week when they meet up again. Throwing the mic down in disgust onto the injured Elijah, Morgan stomped off and out of the ring.

 

BACK TO TOP

 

TV CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

BRENT ALBRIGHT VS. SEVEN

REF: Chris Kay

 

It's another week in Brent's ongoing $1,000 a week quest in retaining the TV Championship and his challenger is one that I've always looked forward to seeing in the ring: Seven.

 

Seven came to the ring with a knowing smile on his face, obviously certain that he would end Albright's streak for the TV title. Albright was out soon after and with little left to say, the two soon locked up in the middle of the ring. With a standoff apparent, the two broke off, each intensely staring at the other. They locked-up again, and this too turned to a standoff. A third lock-up saw Seven going for Albright's arm, only for Albright to shove Seven away. Brent followed suit by going for Seven's arm, and then reaching behind Seven for a takedown. Seven was immediately back on his feet, only to find himself in a headlock by Albright. Seven forced the two into the corner, whereupon Kay positioned himself between them to break them apart. In doing so, he missed seeing Seven punch Albright full-force in the face.

 

Seven followed with a series of punches and kicks to Albright, which Albright fought off with an elbow to Seven's head. With Seven off-balanced, Albright pulled Seven down to set up the Crowbar, but Seven managed to clamor out of the ring to avoid the move. Albright jumped over the ropes, hitting Seven with a flying shoulderblock and then threw the slightly stunned Seven into the ring for a near-pin.

 

With the two men up, Albright grabbed Seven's left arm and jarred it a couple of times, then hit Seven in the face with his knee before Seven came back with a swift clothesline. With Albright down, Seven proceeded to stomp him in the head twice, before moving Brent to the ropes to choke him. As Kay motioned to Seven to pull back, Seven pounded Albright in the head with his fist. Albright attempted to fight back, but Seven would have none of that, putting Albright into a crucifix powerbomb that had Albright bouncing so high that he flipped over on to his stomach. A pin looked definitive afterwards, except that Albright managed to raise a leg and put it on the ropes just as the count was about to end. A second pin attempt was stopped as Albright had enough time to get a second wind and kick out.

 

Picking Albright up, Seven whipped him into the corner and then slammed hard into Brent. Still, a pin was not to be. Seven hit a short-arm clothesline next, but still a pin was out of reach. Placing a knee in Albright's back, Seven bow-and-arrowed Albright with a pull of Brent's head.

 

Allowing Brent to get up, Seven was hit for a few blows from Albright before putting him into a Fall-away Slam for another near-pin. A sleeper hold kept Albright in check, but Brent eventually managed to summon up enough strength to pick up Seven and fall back, slamming them both into the mat. Seven whipped Albright into a cover and ran towards him, yet Brent put up an arm just in time to block with an elbow.

 

With both now struggling, Albright commenced to fight back with a series of elbows, clotheslines and then a powerslam. After a near-pin on Seven, Seven reversed the momentum of the match by putting Albright into a neckbreaker for a near-pin. Dazed, Brent still managed to pull out an armbreaker on Seven. Even so, it took several blows to bring Seven down to the mat in order to break out the Crowbar.

 

With little chance of getting out of the damaging move, Seven finally tapped out. Brent Albright once again is the TV Champion and recipient of the weekly $1,000 prize. As Seven moved to a corner of the ring, Albright got on the microphone to remind Seven, just as he has to all the others, that Seven had tapped out to the best wrestler in OVW. Who will be next on the list to hear those words?

 

BACK TO TOP

 

INTERVIEW WITH MAC JOHNSON & SETH SKYFIRE

 

As a very fit and trim Mac and Seth greeted the fans and finally Jim Cornette in the center of the ring for their interview, Mr. Cornette directed their attention to the monitors for a video announcement from M-N-M.

 

In the video presentation, viewers see M-N-M in front of a large mantel, with Melina as the center piece … um … centerpiece of the group. The trio looked at the camera and feigned fear at the news that "Mr. Big Mac is back!" Nitro pounced on the moment by pointing out how much they deserved the tag-team title because "WE'RE SEXY!" Directing his thoughts to Mac, Nitro stated that all the pain, surgery and long recovery has done nothing to help Johnson with his "abs." "You've got to be like steel," Nitro continued, pointing out his and Joey's physiques.

 

Matthews took over by stating that when M-N-M got their hands on Johnson and Skyfire, "Davis Arena will look like CSI: Kentuckiana." Saying that, however, M-N-M want to avoid such carnage, as they had the inside of a jail cell long enough to last a lifetime. What was the offense that brought them there? It's not quite clear, but Nitro mentioned something about a girl with a fake ID that he swore looked 18.

 

Seeing that they had gotten off-track, Matthews brought it on home by telling Johnson and Skyfire the obvious - that the trio was not there at the arena that night, but rather in their lavish home. However, next week, they will be there live! With the announcement at its end, Matthews told the cameraman to "cut it, edit it, and get it to Davis Arena, ASAP!"

 

Back at the Davis Arena, the feelings about M-N-M's little "ratings grabber" video presentation was less than enthusiastic, with Cornette stating that the video just proved that they were scared. Mac Johnson agreed, stating that M-N-M knew Skyfire and Johnson were after them. Johnson stated that he sat at home in Louisiana during his recovery just waiting for the moment when he could get his hands on Matthews and Nitro and was disappointed that they did not show. Nevertheless, Johnson and Skyfire would be back the next week, and the week after that and the week after that, for as long as it takes, until he can finally get his hands on them.

 

As the interview came to an end, the camera cut back to M-N-M relaxing a bit after their video session. As Melina and Nitro fussed with their hair and clothing, an M-N-M intern gave Joey a drink. Joey took a sip and spit it back into the kid's startled face, before throwing the rest of the drink at the kid and telling him to get out. It's that type of charm that no doubt draws people to work for M-N-M like moths to a flame.

 

BACK TO TOP

 

SOUTHERN TAG-TEAM MATCH

THE THRILLSEEKERS VS. THE BLONDE BOMBERS

REF: Robert Brisko

 

After the usually jeers for the blonde Tolands and cheers for the young Jeter and Capotelli, the match began with Chad Toland and Matt Capotelli in the ring. Chad anxiously held out a hand to commence with a lock-up, but Matt simply slapped it away. With that, Chad gave up on a traditional move and instead kicked Matt in the stomach. He attempted to do so again, but the second time found Matt ready and grabbing Chad's leg, spinning Chad around and then kicking him in the stomach in response. A whip attempt by Matt was reversed by Chad, and Matt soon found himself in the corner with Chad charging right behind him. Using the ropes, Matt pulled himself up and over the rampaging Chad Toland, and when Chad turned around to see where Matt was, Matt gave him a hard chop across the chest that dropped Toland to his knees. Crawling to Tank, Chad tried to tag his partner in, but Tank instead just encouraged Chad to journey further alone in to the match.

 

Chad swung at Matt and missed, while Matt responded with a kick to the stomach and then whipped Chad into the corner. Wishing to do the same to Matt that Matt had done to him moments before, Chad lifted off of the ropes and sprung back, hoping to find Matt now in the corner. However, Matt was ready for the move and remained in the center of the ring, ready to chop Chad again when he turned around to face him.

 

Deciding his journey did not have miles to go before he slept, Chad staggered to his corner, hoping to tag in Tank. Matt, pulled Chad back by his trunks and, after tagging in Jeter, whipped Chad into Johnny's boots in the corner. Slamming Chad to the mat, Matt allowed Jeter to take over with a standing flip on to Chad and then a pin-attempt, which went nowhere.

 

Chad managed to tag in Tank, who immediately went after Jeter with several kicks, while shouting to Chad, "That's how you do it! That's how you do it!" Unfortunately for Tank, the next move was not how you do it, as Jeter reversed it and then chopped Tank twice around the chest. With Tank in pain, Jeter tagged in Matt and the two Thrillseekers whipped Tank off the ropes, missed with identical swings as Tank passed by, but then double-teamed a powerslam on him.

 

Chad ran in to attack Matt with an attempted backdrop, which Matt countered with another powerslam, this time right on top of the still half-dazed Tank. With the two Blonde Bombers lying head to head on the mat, Matt kipped-up and performed a double Electric Slide Leg-Drop on both of the Tolands. With Chad dropping out of the ring, Matt moved back to concentrating on Tank by whipping him into the ropes. Unexpectedly for Capotelli, Tank slid through the ropes, finding himself right next to Chad on the floor. As the two Tolands discussed what to do, Tank spotted Matt baseball-sliding towards them and instinctively threw Chad in the way to block Matt's move. On the outside now, Matt punched Tank and then threw him back into the ring.

 

Climbing in himself, Matt found himself unable to move due to Chad holding on to his legs from the outside. Finally fighting Chad off, Matt turned to find himself the victim of a spear by Tank, leading to a near-pin. Chad and Tank then began stomping on Matt's stomach; reaching a crescendo of violence as Chad literally danced on Matt's chest. Pulling Matt up by the hair, Chad was about to bring on more punishment, but Matt punched, kicked, and punched some more to give him some room to get to his corner and tag in Jeter. Chad would have none of that, however, and dropped Matt by knocking his feet out from under him. A couple of elbow-drops to the chest kept Matt on the defense and after another elbow to the face, Matt was pushed to Chad's corner so that Tank could be tagged in and the two Tolands roughed up Matt some more.

 

Matt tried to fight back after another near-pin, but Tank kept on with the aggression. Another near-pin led to a bow-and-arrow by Tank on Matt, which Matt broke up with a couple of blows to Tank's head. After nearly pinning Tank, Matt tried to get back to Jeter, but he was cut off by Tank with some more elbow-drops and with Chad tagged back in soon after, the Tolands once again teamed up on terrorizing Matt.

 

A whip to the corner by Chad found a weak Matt at the mercy of a spear that sent him out of the ring, but still hanging on to the second rope by the knees. Chad used the unique position to choke Matt with his boot until Brisko pulled him back. As Brisko reprimanded Chad, Tank kicked Matt on the outside twice, leading to Matt falling off the ropes and hard on to the ground.

 

Chad bounces out to knee Matt in the stomach and then throw Matt back into the ring for another near-pin. After elbowing Matt in the neck, Chad tagged in Tank while holding Matt up for Tank to kick, punch and elbow. Flipping Matt over by the head, Tank went for a pin, but Matt still managed to break out of the attempt. Throwing Matt into the corner, Chad and Tank traded off on driving a shoulder into Matt's stomach before Chad took over again and kneed Matt in the stomach. A powerslam by Chad led to Chad putting a knee in Matt's back and pulling back on Matt's head while in a sitting position - a move that Matt was able to move out of and follow with a few punches to Chad's stomach and then a boot to Chad's face after a whip to the ropes. After elbowing Tank on the apron, Matt made it to his corner and tagged in Jeter.

 

Jeter cleaned house with a couple of clotheslines to Chad, a high-kick on Tank, a diving shoulderblock at Chad, a backdrop on Tank, and finishing up with a neckbreaker on Chad for a near-pin. A swinging kick allowed Jeter to attempt another pin, but it was stopped by Tank. Matt entered the ring to take care of Tank, elbowing him. Tank responded with a headlock on Matt, which Matt broke off with a shove that found Tank slamming into a surprised Brisko, throwing the ref out and unable to call the match. Jeter and Capotelli teamed up, readying to kick Chad, but just as the kick was to occur, Jillian Hall ran out to the ring and grabbed hold of Matt's leg. Although Matt was unable to help, Jeter followed through with his kick of Chad, but Tank drops Jeter and then throws Matt out of the ring.

 

A barely conscious Chad threw an arm on top of Jeter and a dazed Brisko crawled back in to count the pin. With that, it became official - Chad and Tank Toland, the Blonde Bombers, were now the Southern Tag-Team Champions. Tank hugged Jillian as Tank and Chad got the belts and celebrated.

 

This certainly puts a fork in the road for M-N-M, Johnson and Skyfire, and the Heartbreakers - all of them had been looking at The Thrillseekers as the ones to bring down in order to get their hands on the tag-team belts. Now a shift had occurred that found the Blonde Bombers holding the belts. How will this change the alliance M-N-M had with the Blonde Bombers? Why did Jillian Hall help the Bombers out? Do Johnson and Skyfire now have a better chance of gaining back the titles themselves? Will The Heartbreakers give the Tolands a Thumb's Up? Literally? And what will become of the Thrillseekers now? The map may have been rearranged, but things are just now heating up in OVW as the quest for the Southern Tag-Team Belts continues.

 

From the other side of ringside,

Dale Sherman

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OVW TV report for 4/16/05

 

Taped from the Davis Arena in Louisville, KY 4/13/05

 

Our Hosts are Jim Cornette and Dean "The Prince of Pronunciation" Hill

 

In a shocking swerve, let us take you back to last week before the titles even roll. Some confused people are going to think this is part of the Twilight Zone episode that was on earlier.

 

We pick up the end of BRENT ALBRIGHT vs. SEVEN in progress. Albright is clubbing away on Seven's arm. He finally locks in the crowbar, Seven quickly taps out! A winner is Albright

 

Albright says you tapped out. He says don't be ashamed, since you just tapped out to the best damn wrestler on OVW TV today, “The Shooter” Brent Albright.

 

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!!!!

 

Hello and welcome to Ohio Valley Wrestling. This show is the WWE tryout edition if Internet rumors are true. Tonight Matt Morgan vs. Elijah Burke, M-N-M vs. Skyfire/Johnson, we talk to the new Southern Tag Champions, the Blonde Bombers... but

first...

 

"Beat the Champ" TV Title Match "The Shooter" BRENT ALBRIGHT v.s. KEN ANDERSON

 

Someone asked me a couple weeks if Anderson was in OVW yet... well here he is wrestling for your entertainment. Like all of Albright's matches lately, this

should be pretty good.

 

Albright is announced as "The Shooter" Brent Albright, but his graphic says Brent "Shooter" Albright. Even OVW can't escape logic holes. Anderson gets no entrance or music. Anderson does a little hoppy thing back and forth. Dean Hill does his “Ray Ramsey your referee, kickin things off on the WB.

 

Circle around, lockup, waistlock takeover. Albright rolls him around on the mat, and there's some mat work. Anderson gets up, another waistlock. Overhead Tazzzzplex on Anderson and Anderson decides it's time to leave the ring.. Inaudible chant from the crowd. Anderson decides to head for the exits but Albright punches him to stop him from leaving.

 

Back on the apron, into the ring. Crowd chants “Make him tap!”.. Anderson throws him through the ring ropes. but Albright holds on and clocks Anderson. He pounds Anderson on the apron, and shove him back in the ring. Punch, whip to the buckle, runs in, caught with an elbow, Albright comes back with an elbow. Whip to the ropes and a belly-to-belly overhead suplex!

Clubbing forearm to the back of the neck, whipped into the corner. Spear in the corner misses. Anderson hops around and catches him in the gut with a stiff kick and stomp. Forearm, forearm. Albright comes back with the forearm. punch, kick to the gut.

 

Backdrop suplex by Anderson gets a 2. Punch to the head. Albright and Anderson trade shots, Anderson stomps Albright in the gut Austin style as Dean Hill puts him over. Whip into the corner. Albright blocks, catches w/ elbow, clothesline, clothesline, whip into the ropes, big back bodydrop. goes for a German suplex.

Anderson blocks, bounces off the ropes, but Albright catches him with a release German for 2.

 

Armbreaker by Albright. Albright locks in the crowbar, and Anderson kicks out.

 

 

Your Winner: "The Shooter" Brent Albright. Albright collects another thousand dollar check which he won't report to the IRS.

 

 

Fans chant you TAPPED OUT. Albright says “KEN ANDERSON YOU TAPPED OUT, DON'T BE ASHAMED. You just tapped out to the best damn wrestler on OVW TV today, the Shooter' Brent Albright”.

 

Decent match, but Anderson really showed nothing here.

 

We'll be back with the Blonde Bombers

 

--

OVW in London... KENTUCKY. April 30 and 7:30 pm. The Thrillseekers, Elijah Burke, Matt Morgan, SEVEN big MATCHES OVW ! LIVE! LIVE LIVE!

 

OVW in E-Town, Friday April 22 and 8 PM. 7 Live matches. The above plus the Heartbreakers and Brent Albright, plus Hollywood Dale Duncan. This will be

about 3 times shorter than any IWA:MS card and not booked by Cornette so why bother.

 

--

 

We have new Southern Tag Team Champions, The Blonde Bombers (The Tolands)... before we talk to them in the ring, let us take you back to last week.

 

--

 

Chad has Matt in a crossface (n. Crippler). Matt hulks up punch, punch and whip to the ropes. Matt makes the tag to Jeter. I'm amazed on how there's rarely a proper race to tag in tag team wrestling anymore. Dropkick, whip, reversed, flying forearm,

backdrop. Sleeper neckbreaker. 2 count. Whip into the ropes... spinning kick gets TWO before being broken up by Tank. Matt in, and accidentally knocks Tank into the ref. They set up for a double superkick on Tank... wait a minute it's Jillian hall... she breaks it up by tripping Matt. Tank hit the Tank Turret (spinning Polish Hammer) on Jeter. Ref recovers, Chad Covers, 1-2-3 and Cornette is all "OH NO MY GAWD DAMNEST THING I'VE EVERSEEN FOR GAWD'S SAKES" etc as the Bombers have won the Tag Titles.

 

--

 

Cornette is in the ring with his scummy E-Town promoter, “Hollywood” Dale Duncan, who's so lame he won't even get CAPS. They $hill the rematch for the tag team titles between the Bombers and the Thrillseekers, which will be live Friday Night in E-Town.

Cornie asks how you can get tickets. You can't even tell what this Duncan clown is saying between the 5-packs of cigs and the accent.

 

It's the BLONDE BOMBERS (Tank and Chad Tolland) out to interrupt. Apparently they "aren't scheduled for this time".Tank goes “Whoa... are you kidding, Hollywood Dale Duncan, nobody wants to see him.” “Hollyweird Dale” says Chad. Tank says you're talking to the new Southern Tag Team champs. Hollywood, really. If you're worried about selling out E-Town on Friday, he doesn't have to worry. The Bombers will be dropping the bomb on the Thrillseekers.

 

Cornette asks them about Jillian Hall. The Bombers decided they needed a bombshell with fine natural blonde hair, a chiseled body, and a natural smile. Tank says all the women here in Kentuckiana are fat skanks. Cornette says you can't talk that way. I have to agree with Tank. Tank says they needed a "real women" to fight all the Kentuckian skanks off... so without further ado, let him introduce the Bombers new Bombshell...

 

 

It's... Holy TAMMY SYTCH Batman. Well upon further examination it's JILLIAN HALL and we know that she's toxic (Britney Spears - "Toxic"). This is too

weird as she's not far way from being a dead ringer for Sunny the way she's dressed up. Cornette gushes about how she's "about ready to pop out of her shirt" and wonders if OVW will be liable.

 

She hugs both Tolands and then raises their hands and does the Sunny head bob thing, and everything clicks. Everyone watching has a huge Bodydonnas flashback. The Tolands being short with dyed blonde hair doesn't help either.

 

Well Cornette's finally done it. He beams like Scottie Ferguson looking at Judy Barton for a second. I smell money, anyway.

 

Jillian rocks the mic. “I have got to be the like the luckiest woman ever to have been ringside on the legendary night when the Blonde Bombers win the tag team titles... I am SO proud of you guys. I know it was my beauty (more Sunny mannerisms here) that inspired them to work harder... after all I am the bombshell (yet more

mannerisms). Who is the greasy, disgusting (loud "Blond Bimbo" chant) sorry excuse for a man in my ring?”

 

Cornette apologizes to Duncan. Duncan says I hope you get your

ass beat on Friday. Tank roughs him up, which brings in THE THRILLSEEKERS who clear the ring. Matt says nobody puts their hands on Hollywood Dale Duncan.. next week, Jeter and I have a surprise for you and I got a feeling you midgets ain't gonna like it.

 

Next: Elijah Burke vs. Morgan.

 

--

4th Annual Six Flags Super Summer Sizzler Series with Six Big Events and Sally Selling Sea Shells by the Seashore.

 

Ad BREAK

 

ONLINE POKER AD... PERSONAL LINES AD... Yoplait Yogurt ad... Online poker ad.... one of these things is not like the others...

 

--

 

Let us take you to the crowd where ALEXIS LAREE and SOME JOBBER TRAINEE are begging for money for the WHAS Children's Crusade. Hey, it didn't work in 1212 so let's not be trying that stuff again. Ah... I remember the segment with Matt Morgan and Elijah Burke like it was last week...

 

MATT MORGAN is dressed up like he's going to be in Evolution and ELIJAH BURKE is dressed up like he's Booker T. Morgan says when he beats Elijah Burke..

Burke says “Don't stand there and run your trap like I'm not standing here. All this talk about how when you beat me, take my title, the question should be

if you beat me.”.

 

Dang, Burke is showing tons of charisma here unlike his backstage promo a couple weeks ago. Morgan takes his jacket off. “Granted, you may be one big locomotive, last time you when head to head with the Eiljah express, you got ran over”. Morgan says he's in with the Bluerpint of the industry.

 

Burke says he beat Morgan 3 times. “All of a sudden, you think you're going to walk in here take my title, destroy my dream. Don't home in hear like a

cabbage, all head no ass. The Elijah Experience will be in full effect next week”.

 

Many refs are in the ring now. Morgan says he's sick and tired of hearing about your dream, and “it's about time someone woke you up”. Morgan kicks Burke in the gut and gives him a powerbomb.

 

“Burke, you can dream all you want, but next week you're going to feel my wrath.”

 

OVW Heavyweight Title "The Blueprint" MATT MORGAN vs. ELIJAH BURKE

 

It's time to get down with the hossness (Disturbed - “Down with the Sickness”) as Matt Morgan comes out. He's now got black hair and a goatee and no mask. He's definitely going into Evolution at some point soon.

 

Burke slaps everyone's hands in the front and comes out to a huge pop. Robert Briscoe is your referee. Cornette says the gold is on the line in one

minute. next!

 

--

 

OVW at the Derby Park Expo for Five Big Matches, then STEAL WWE Backlash along with OVW.

 

Online Poker Ad!!! (Count: 3). Well, the scam artists have to stick together

 

Another ad for the Louisville Singles line... Cornette lies again as the ad break goes to about 1:21

 

--

 

Back in the ring, it's match time. Can't you tell the tag teams are the main eventers of this promotion? They circle around a bit to start. Dueling chants between the fans and the ring rats. Burke kisses up to the crowd. Lockup, but Matt is too roided and pushes him back and poses like hogan. “YOU STILL SUCK” chant. Waistlock by Burke, elbow by

Morgan breaks it. Whip into the corner. Burke moves out of the way, Morgan hits turnbuckle. Burke goes for a rollup and Morgan attempts a stomp to stop it but Burke moves out of the way, and goes after the knee. Whip, reversed, Elijah

slides under the legs and punches Morgan, but Morgan regains control. Whipped into the buckle again, Morgan runs into a boot, shoulderblock by Burke to Morgan has little effect. Burke ducks a Morgan clothesline, another shoulderblock to little effect.. Burke goes upstairs and a shoulderblock off the top rope finally brings Morgan down for a 1 count. That was a boss little/big man sequence. Burke up top again. Morgan crotches him on the ropes and sets up for a superplex. Burke blocks it and shoves Morgan off the top. He goes for a big elbowdrop which misses by a mile. Big lariat turns Burke upside down. Morgan rubs Burke into the mat.

 

“Go Matt go” chant from the ring rats. Morgan whips Burke into the buckle and Elijah collapses from the impact. Morgan stands on him near the ropes. He goes for the pin and gets 2. Stomp, goes outside and does the a legdrop on the apron. 2 count. He gets frustrated and chokes Burke, then he locks in a dragon sleeper (~!). Burke tries to

punch out, reverses into a DDT! Both men down.

 

ELIJAH chant. Burke hits some punches and dodges several of Morgan's shots. Morgan goes for a clothesline but Burke ducks, dropkick to the leg, dropkick to the

face, and finally a flying forearm brings Morgan down again for a 2 count. Burke goes up top. Sunset flip off the top and Morgan kicks out. Elijah signals for the facebuster,

kick to the gut, facebuster, 2.9999 count. Burke is shocked. He signals for another facebuster, but when he runs back to Morgan, he walks into a BLACK HOLE SLAM for a close 2 count. Morgan signals for a chokeslam and hits it. 2.9999 count. Morgan is really pissed at this point and complains to the ref. Burke crawls up and hits a schoolboy for another real long 2 count. Kick to the gut by Morgan... here

it comes... Vertical suplex and drops him down into a STO... that's his finisher! 1-2-3. We have a new OVW Champion.

 

Winner: Matt Morgan

 

The ringrats pop big for this. Burke tries to get up, still trying to fight Morgan.

 

Up next, Danny Inferno...

 

--

Ad Break

-

 

Let us take you back to last week when this trainee/wrestler is getting coached on cutting ad advertisement to watch OVW in London Kentucky. Suddenly there's a commotion and the camera pans over to see Beth Phoenix and Aaron "The Idol" Stevens running by in the hallway (“let's get the hell outta here”), followed a few seconds later by Danny Inferno (“come back you son of a btich”). The cameraman follows down the hallway and outside. Hilarity ensues when Inferno has trouble getting one of the doors open. We see Inferno chasing a SUV out of the parking lot There's how you book a backstage segment that makes logical sense.

 

Back to live action (which is really taped a few days ago), here comes DANNY INFERNO to the ring. Cornette says there must be some bad feelings and bad blood over what happened to Trudi.

 

Inferno says Stevens is a women-beater and a coward. He ran away like a scalded dog and didn't show up here tonight. Stevens is a self-centered spoiled brat. He had to go after his girlfriend with a piledriver and crack her neck. Inferno says he doesn't know if she ever ever will wrestle again. Inferno says Phoenix better keep her nose out of Inferno's business or he's going to start treating her like a man... because he knows Phoenix has a bigger set than Stevens. And he's not talking about breasts. Inferno doesn't care if it's in the parking lot, the locker room, or Denny's. There will be a fight and a fight Inferno is gonna win. He's going to kick his ass, not for himself or for Trudi, he's going to kick his ass for every person who hates Stevens' guts... by the sound of that he says, he's going to be kicking his ass for all of us.

 

Here's hoping they book a Denny's Jersey Shore Streetfight with yet another set of rules in the next few weeks.

 

--

Ad break

 

OVW Fundraiser SCAM... call 502-473-0660 and do your best Ian Rotten or Vince Russo imitation and see how long you keep them on the phone.

 

--

 

MNM (JOEY MATTHEWS and JOHNNY NITRO w/ MELINA) v.s. SETH SKYFIRE AND MAC JOHNSON.

 

MNM totally do their Smackdown entrance note for note, which means some of their stuff has been cut by the WWE. The fur jackets this week are the boss ones from Smackdown. We get a perfect splits shot this week that the PTC would complain about if they knew about it. Skyfire and Johnson run out and start fighting immediately. They clear the ring. This should rock. Chris Kay is your referee.

 

MNM stall outside the ring, talking their time in taking their jackets off. Cornette says they're now in the WWE. Matthews is blowing invisible blood out of his nose

Matthews in the ring, slaps Mac Johnson with a cheap shot and then rolls out of the ring. Johnson chases Matthews around the ring. Matthews back in and cuts him off. Head to the buckle. Punches to Johnson. Johnson fights out of the corner. Whip, reversed, spear

to Matthews. Nitro in, fits a fury on Nitro. atomic drop to Matthews. Fist, 2 count. Skyfire tagged in. Double whip, double elbow. 2 count. Matthews fights out with punches. Head to the buckle, rakes eyes over the ropes. Nitro in, punch to the gut. punch. Skyfire comes back with multiple punches, goes for a monkeyflip which he hits.. Dropsault sort of now. 2 count. Johnson in.. punches to the gut. kick to the gut on Matthews... double noggin knocker. Nitro/Johnson legal men. Whip to the corner. shoulder tackle in the corner. Johnson hits a field goal kick on Nitro. Skyfire tagged in. Nitro hops over Johnson but gets hit with a kick by Skyifre.

 

Skyfire is now face in peril as Nitro/Matthews doubleteam Skyfire. Punch by Matthews to Seth Skyfire. He throws Skyfire outside of the ring. Matthews poses but Skyfire pops back up and climbs the top rope. Crossbody off the top for 2! Punch, punch, punch, whip, reversed, slide underneath the legs, rana by Skyfire, punches. Matthew comes back with an uppercut. Whip to the corner, Matthews runs in with a STIFF clothesline... nice. Punch, whip to the buckle, Skyfire ducks over the rope so Matthews eats turnbuckle. Skyfire fights Nitro on the apron, then Matthews in the ring, then Nitro on the

apron again until Matthews comes running over and knocks Skyfire into the guardrail! Nitro grabs him and knocks his head on the apron. rolls him back in the ring for

Joey. 2 count. We have one more timeout... we'll be back. Nitro tags in

 

--

OVW in London

 

OVW in E-town

 

--

 

 

Skyfire hits a sunsest flip on Nitro, but Nitro makes a blind tag to Matthews before it happens. Matthews breaks it up. gets a 1.5 count on Skyfire.

Matthews hits a half-hour, delayed vertical suplex. 2 count and Johnson breaks it up. Joey goes for another suplex, but Seth blocks it, reversed into a rollup but

Nitro distracts the ref... finally a 2 count. Neckbreaker on Skyfire. 2 countt after the cocky cover. Nitro in, frames him and hits a boot to the gut. Breakdancing into a spinning legdrop on Skyfire... VERY nice!! This gets 2 count. European uppercut, kick, Grabs Seth Skyfire by the hair and hits another uppercut. Melina slaps Skyfire. Stomp to the head, 2 count. Grabs in a headlock, holds him and tags in Matthews. Short-arm clotheline, shades of Jake Roberts. 2 count. Cravate, correctly called by Cornette. Skyfire punches out. Elbow on Skyfire.

 

Matthews calls for the snapshot and tags in Nitro. Matthews picks up Skyfire, Nitro goes for the DDT but gets punched off. Skyfire slides off and hits a shining enziguri on Matthews (~!) He goes to tag in Johnson, Nitro grabs his ankle but Skyfire gets over to the corner anyway. Johnson is a house of fire, punches, clotheslines... big dropkick. Gets two. Matthews eats a flying forearm... Nitro in and he telegraphs a backdrop, Johnson tries to reverse into a backslide but Nitro flips over.... Johnson turns it into a

fisherman's suplex! Matthews breaks it up at the last second. Skyfire back up, punches Matthews. Kicks Matthews in the corner. Johnson to the top, missile dropkick on Nitro but the ref is distracted... Melina sprays something in Johnson's eyes. Skyfire thrown out of the ring. Snapshot on Johnson and Nitro gets the pin!

 

Winners: MNM

 

Melina stands on Johnson's throat with her boot. They knock Skyfire off the apron again and take out the ref. They're going after Johnson's injured gut Kick, knee to the gut... double gutbuster. Johnson sells the injured gut... we'll see you next week.

 

Good show this week... nice to know we haven't seen the last of MNM. Both interview segments were good and the matches were all solid, although nothing grabbed me enough to bother giving it a star rating to any of it, although the last two matches were pretty fun.

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OVW TV Report for 4/23/05

 

Taped from 4/20/05 from the Davis Arena in Louisville, KY

Your hosts are Jim Cornette and “The Man, the Myth, the Mustache” Dean Hill

 

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR OOOOOOOOOOHAHAHAA!!!

 

Welcome to OVW, where tonight we'll see the return of one of the OVW originals Flash, Danny Inferno in action, and an update on MNM's Smackdown debut.

 

Steve Lewington v.s. Blaster Lasheley w/ (“The Giant Killer” Mike Mondo & Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin)

 

Lewington (“Danger Zone” - Kenny Loggins, aka Top Gun Theme) is out. He uses the Top Gun theme because apparently he couldn't cut it in the Royal Air Force so he's outta there. Lasheley (“God of Thunder” - KISS) is out with Mondo doing the Fonzie whistle gimmick and Bolin being the Bobby Heenan of Kentuckiana. Both guys look like they've been working out with Barry Bonds lately.

 

I mean, seriously, which doctor in Louisville is prescribing all this shit? Isn't there a Walgreens across the street from the Davis Arena that has to keep about fifty times the usual number of steroids in stock? Doesn't that raise a red flag?

 

Anyway, Cornette hypes up Lasheley's amateur credentials a whole bunch. Seriously, Lasheley looks like Scott Steiner practically now and the formerly skinny Lewington looks like Ken Shamrock. Crowd starts a “Porky” chant at Bolin. They circle, tieup, blaster in control. Punch misses, Lewington fires back. Lashely blocks 2 two punches, shoves back Lewington, then gives him a running elbow. Kick, whip, ... Lewington slides to stop and runs and goes for a wasitlock on Blaster.. bad move. Take down. Steve gets trapped in the corner and tries to fight out. Blaster unloads with some eblow smashes. Nice and stiff. Kick, punch, whip to the ropes... big kneelift is partially blown. 2Count. Football kick into the ribs. Another one. Hammerlock and a big punch to the chest. Another. Bearhug. Steve breaks out, but collapses. Big kick. Signals for a powerslam, but Steve flips out. Neckbreaker by Steve! Big splash to the corner misses.

 

2nd rope back elbow by Lewington. Chop. Another, a third. Whip to the ropes, reversed, big shoulderblock, 2 count. Blaster throws him off. Bolin on the apron. Steve clocks him. Mondo in with the briefcase and Mondo gets superkicked. Another powerslam attempted, reversed into a powerslam by Lewington, and reversed again into a powerslam by Blaster which hits. Blaster sets up and hits him with a spear. 3 count

 

Winner: Blaster Lasheley.

 

Next Matt Morgon LIVE

 

O VW in London KY. OVW Derby Park Expo, see OVW and then steal the Backlash PPV from WWE on the big screen.

 

Back in the ring, Lewington is being attended to by the OVW trainer. He's hurt in the ring. Cornette says he may have cracked ribs. Let us take you back to last week... I remember it like I wrote about it last week...

--

A dropkick to the

face, and finally a flying forearm brings Morgan down again for a 2 count. Burke goes up top. Sunset flip off the top and Morgan kicks out. Elijah signals for the facebuster,

kick to the gut, facebuster, 2.9999 count. Burke is shocked. He signals for another facebuster, but when he runs back to Morgan, he walks into a BLACK HOLE SLAM for a close 2 count. Morgan signals for a chokeslam and hits it. 2.9999 count. Morgan is really pissed at this point and complains to the ref. Burke crawls up and hits a schoolboy for another real long 2 count. Kick to the gut by Morgan... here

it comes... Vertical suplex and drops him down into a STO... that's his finisher! 1-2-3. We have a new OVW Champion.

 

Winner: Matt Morgan

 

The ringrats pop big for this. Burke tries to get up, still trying to fight Morgan.

--

Here comes your OVW champion (“Down With The Sickness” - Disturbed). Morgan does a little fargo strut and a modified Angle hop. He's dressed like the rock this week, which is pretty funny.

 

Cornette says Morgan had a point to prove last week, but Morgan put up and showed it. Morgan says shut up rednecks. Cornette says you said what you you were going to win the title, and whether we like it or not he did it. Damn stragith, I said,I was going to take a ride on the Elijah Express. I believed every word of it and it happened. Cornette says Burke kicked out of a lot of moves. Morgan says he is impressed with Burke and mentions how Kane, John Cena, and Randy Orton couldn't kick out of his chokeslam, but Burke did. Burke is not a blueprint. He says his strangle hold is going to continue. This is the Blueprint's belt. He says Six Flags is right around the corner. Matt Morgan is going to walk into the Six Flag shows your walking blueprint, walking main eventer, the walking headliner, Matt Morgan. Cornette says just like last year. Morgan says Corenette tried to sabotaged Morgan by lining up WWE guys to try and take Morgan's title away. He's the best and the proof is in the pudding. Morgan says you will never get this title back. Cornette says he's going to be bringing in a lot of WWE stars in and that Morgan is going to have a real tough road.

 

An update on MNM

 

Six Flags Ad

Poker Ad number on... Holy shit... a MAKEUP ad during a wrestling show... hell just froze over.

 

One of OVW's top tag teams was on Smackdown last week.

 

Let us take you back to Smackdown where MNM beat up Rey Misterio. The crowd sounds like an airplane taken off because this was obviously taped on a crappy VCR. This is literally the whole segment starting with MNM's entrance. Rey fights back... Snapshot.

 

Corntette says MNM is making waves in the WWE. And next week we'll have another report. I wonder if they'll win the tag team titles?

 

Up next: Danny Inferno.

 

Here's Inferno's music (“Voices” - Disturbed). It's Aaron “The Idol” Stevens and Beth Phoenix coming out instead! Finally, (“Jesus Christ Superstar” - Andrew Lloyd Webber, I believe from the movie soundtrack) fires up. Beth Phoenix looks, um, “enhanced” since last time we saw her. Must have had a trip to the Barbie factory.

 

Danny Inferno, two weeks ago you proved what a low life piece of scum you when you chased us out of this building and tried to mug us in the parking lot. You know, they say what goes around comes around. Ans for Mr. Inferno, There couldn't be a truer statement. About a half hour ago, some good Samaritan told Mr Inferno that his house got broken into, all his windows were smashed, and his dog got stolen. So as of this moment. Inferno is on his way home to fill out a police report. Most people when you get your house broken into, it's a bad thing, well this is a good thing. He says Inferno is lucky tonight. If Inferno was here he'd make make him swallow the straw he's always chewing on. Beth says “tell me more idol” . I would take that greasy head of yours and bash it against the mat until you shattered every bone in your face . Beth gets turned on by this. I would take that kendo stick of his and beat him like the greasy Italian pinata that he is. Ooo idol tell me more, yeah. Then I would pick him straight up and piledrive him straight on his neck like that little skank girlfriend on his. You know what I want, yeah. Hill says “get a room”. Well Danny, it's a good thing you're not here. Rodney Dauber is ready for a fight. What don't you say we have a little fun with Mr. Dauber (it would be my pleasure).

 

Aaron “The Idol” Stevens v.s. Rodney Dauber

 

Kick to the gut, whip to the buckle, Stevens runs into a kick, sunsetlfip off the top gets two. Punch Punch, shouderblock in the corner. Tree of woe. Kick kick kick kick kick . Punch . Dauber fights back with fists. Rollup for 2. Kick, whip to the ropes, face to the knee by Stevens breaks it up. Head to the buckle. Kick to the gut. Suplex. Floatover, 2 count. Dauber fights back. , face to the knee again. Stevens back in control. Punch. {punch, kick, kick kick kick kick, Choke ala Kevin Nash. Here's Danny Inferno to break it up. Punches, clothesline clears the ring. Inferno gives him some vicious punches. Phoenix rakes him in the eye. Stevens and Phoenix bail.

 

Pantene Pro-V commercial. who the heck green lighted that to run during a wrestling show?

 

Cornette introduces one of the old stars of OVW. One of the OVW originals. Let's have a famous match with Flash. 1999. Trailer Park trash v.s. Flash.

 

Exhanges punches. Whip to the buckle. Big backdrop. Trash breaks a beer over Flash's head. Cut to later. Suplex on the stage. Back in the ring. Backdrop on a truck hood laying in the ring! Flash looks like Dusty back in this old clip. My gawd, Flash whips him like a dog. Big plancha. Flash thrown over the top rope through a table. Flash up on the top... legdrop through a table outside the ring, Trash went through a table. Ah, the Attitude era by gawd! Trashcan shot. The pin 3 count. Big time clipping here

 

Flash (“All Your Weight” - Collective Soul) is out with a kendo stick.

 

Cornette says says Flash is a former OVW champ8ion, and he's been down in Puerto Rico wrestling for the past couple years. He says he is the current IWA Hardcore champion on the island of Puerto Rico. He says he and Flash haven't always seen eye to eye, but he knew that since Flash was back in the states, he had to offer him to be on OVW tv.

 

I'd like to say that I'm glad to be be back. He says there's a lot of things that have happened in the past. Flash says. There's a guy in OVW who claims to be the best in OVW, but Flash will always be the best in OVW. Flash says he belongs in WWE. Flash says he can have a match for anyone he wants. Flash challenges Brent Albright. I'm the best that's ever stepped in the OVW ring and the best that ever will. He says he's leaving with a grand. Oo, this should be great. Here comes Brent Albright (“Faint” - Linkin Park)

 

Cornette tells Brent he doesn't have to do this. Brent says, first off. I want to introduce myself, the best damn wrestler on OVW TV today. Flash says I kind of disagree. Flash says he's the best on OVW TV today. Brent says if you're coming out here looking for a fight, that's one thing I don't back of. He says you're not going to take food out of my pocket and off my table. Flash slaps Albright. They got after each other. Cornette calls for some refs. Cornette says to hold on. God damnit if you want the match just hold on. We're going to take a break and you can have your damn match.

 

Break

 

“The Shooter” Brent Albright v.s. Flash (n. “A-ah Savior of the OVW Universe, Flash

He save everyone of us”)

 

Okay, this is the match that made me hold off a week on writing this. Ok, we're back. Lockup, waistlock, punch, spear by Albright, brawling and rolls on the mat. Albright overpowers and outwrestles Albright. Flash goes outside the ring. And they change punches outside, flash with an eye poke. Chop. Chop by Albright. Back in the ring, Flash cuts him off. Head to the buckle. Flash chops wooooo. Chop woooo. Albright now with a few chops. Eye poke by Flash again. Flash chokes him on the ropes. Whip to the ropes, big clotheline. Two count. Punch, Punch by Albright. Another,. Trading punches here. Whip to the buckle, elbow. Two count. Armbar by Albright. Cornette says it's a mistake to stay on the mat with Albright. Flash goes out of it, trips the leg and gets a one count. Headlock on Albright, which Albright breaks by taking out the legs and gets a one-count. Punch. Punch, clotheslines Flash over the top rope. Albright back outside the ring. Clubbering blow, punch,. Flash back with punches and chops. Cornette said Flash wrestled in front of 10,000 people last Friday night. Whip to the ropes, reversed, Flash floats over Albright's backdrop attempt and hits a superkick. Stomp. Head to the knee. Pace has really slowed down. Trade of punches, Flash racks Albright over the top rope. Stiff chop in the corner. Snapmare, chinlock. Tries a belly-to-back to counter but blocked. Whip to the ropes, shoulderblock, 1-count, Chinlock. Ref asks Albright if he wants to give up. Crowd gets behind Albright. Brent breaks by whipping into the ropes. He goes for a slam but Flash reverses into a kick to the gut and a DDT. Flash stomps away on Albright... we'll be right back!

 

More chinlock laziness from Flash. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to show a highlight reel of a bunch of highspots when the guy wrestling has no intention of doing any of them. Elbow, elbow. Flash back in control. Whip to the ropes, flash pin rollup by Albright for 2. Backslide for two. Flash back in control with a clothesline. Dang, this match would be good if Albright was calling it. Clothesline gets two. Albright is thrown through the ropes to the floor. Flash snake eyes Albright on the steel guardrail. Albright clothleslines Flash. Both men back in. Flash gets some knees. Suplex, drops him over the top rope. Big dropkick to the head and Albright flies off the apron to the floor. Flash breaks the ref's count. Outside the ring, chops on Albright. Both men back in. Two count. Forearm, Whip to the buckle, reversed, Albright runs into a boot. Flash out of the corner with a clothesline but it's ducked. Belly to belly overhead suplex. Both men down and the ref is counting. Flash up first. Albright fights back with punches. Big backdrop. Clothesline, another. T-bone suplex. Two count. Whip to the buckle, reversed, Albright eats turnbuckle. Flash goes for a clothesline off the rebound, Albright ducks and the ref gets taken out. German suplex. Albright covers for about a 10 count. Albright tries to revive the ref. Flash puts Albright in the tree of woe. Flash gets the kendo stick. Whacks him in the head a couple times. Flash climbs up top and does the Super Dragon dick double stomp off the top onto Albright in the tree of woe! Dean says Christ and Cornette says oh my god. Slow 2.999 count. Flash decks the ref. Crowbar! No ref. Flash rolls out of the Crowbar. Legsweep, elbow misses, Albright leaps over Flash and grabs his arm in midair and locks in the crowbar. Chris Kay is in and Flash taps out.

 

Your Winner: Brent Albright

 

Okay, that match was a little better the second time around but it still was majorly disappointing. Brisko has the check, and he agrees with the decision. Cornette says Albright is the man. “Flash, you TAPPED OUT, don't be ashamed, you just tapped out to the best damn wrestle... blah blah blah”. Matt Morgan is out. Cornette says we're running out of time. Matt says Albright used to have his back, but he's not the best wrestler. Morgan runs this TV show and he runs OVW because he is the Heavyweight Champion, the blueprint. The little TV thing you got going is cute, you're good, but you're second best. Keep working, you're gonna get it. Albright grabs Morgan. Me saying I'm the best, as far as I'm concerned, you can take my TV title and put it next to your OVW title, turn em sideways and stick em up straight up your ass. Morgan “You're not in my league”. Albright slaps on the crowbar, by Gawd, Morgan's tapping. We're outta time!

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LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOAH. For some reason, they've decided to add a couple pieces of actual recent footage to the montage, but they haven't taken out any of the people like Nikita and Kanyon who haven't been in the company in years.

 

Your Hosts are Dean Hill and... nobody

 

Dean Hill informs us that Jim Cornette is missing and nobody knows where he is. Apparently this has thrown the locker room into chaos, even though Cornette just makes matches and Danny Davis runs OVW.

 

Well, let's see who sinks and who swims without the smoke and mirrors.

 

Let's have an awkward cut to an obviously pretaped Alexis Laree backstage, who apparently now is a backstage corrsepondent in the new Dreamer/Snow/Storm booking era. Apparently the OVW locker room has expanded from the 20 people who were regularly on TV to a couple hundred people. Looks like a huge frat party. Why are all these people backstage if they're not wrestling tonight? This segment consists of Alexis walking around and talking to random people who have been on TV once and asking them if they know what's going on. God, she sounds TERRIBLE on the mic, worse than the Diva Search women. This just drags on and on...

 

Back at ringside, Hill talks to us at home and acts like a lost puppy. MNM come out (sans entrance music, because I guess Cornette ran that too?) They do the gag acting like the title belts are their penises. Melina looks very hispanic tonight. Matthews decides now's the time to cut a terrible promo and says Cornette isn't here, so MNM is running the show. Nitro sounds pretty embarassing. Melina says out of the goodness of their hearts, they going to let the fans take pictures of them up close. Anyway, they walk around the ring seemingly forever and Melina ends up slapping a fan.

 

Security comes out and MNM starts laying out a ton of people like this is a Bruce Lee movie.They snapshot a guard and go to pillmanize his ankle (like they did to Mac Johnson last week. Apparently there's not 50 babyfaces in the locker room or anything.

 

Seth Skyfire finally runs out, randomly with a crutch to make the save. Where did he get a crutch from? Johnson is hurt, not him.

 

Mindnumblingly bad.

 

-Ad Break

 

Let us throw you back to last week, as we are joined by Al Snow on commentary. The security guard is getting stretchered out.

 

Basically Mac Johnson gets pillmanized, so now Seth Skyfire and Rey Misterio (in a rare bit of WWE/OVW contunity) will team at Six Flags against MNM.

 

- Ad Break

 

Let us take you to the backstage search for Cornette with Alexis Laree and Leslie Neilsen searching for clues. Oh my god, it's a locked door, what the heck is going on? Apparently Cornette was the person who unlocked all the doors in the building. We overhear Mike Mondo saying "Cornette is done!" Try as Alexis might, she can't break the closet door open to see what's behind it. Apparently it must be a new room or something that has magically appeared because nobody out of the 200 people in the locker room hallway knows what is behind it. Alexis actually says "someone is jamming it". There's doors locked everywhere. This is wrestlecrap.

 

Let us abruptly cut to the ring with Al Snow. Anyway, here's some rambling with Al Snow talking like Jim Ross after Owen Hart's death. Finally... let's bring out Bobby "The Brain" Heenan! YES!!! Now, this still has to be good, right? They can't screw this up.

 

"BOBBY" chants from the crowd, which change to "WEASEL". Bobby says he's here to see Bolin, bolin for dollars. He says everyone in wrestling is talking about him, and Snow tries to act like Cornette which kinda flops. He produces a gift sack. KENNY BOLIN (w/ Miss Blue) finally comes out to Theme from the Sopranos. Heenan shakes his hand and says he admires how Bolin manages, as loud BOLIN SUCKS chants continue. Heenan is very awkward playing babyface to Bolin, trying to be funny and his jokes fall flat because the audience can't understand him and they're actually not that funny. Snow is doing his fake laugh like crazy. Bolin takes a long time to say that he is the best manager ever, not Bobby Heenan and he taught Jim Cornette everything he knows. Not bad but not an interesting promo.

 

Anyway, Heenan finally gives him a super-oversized pair of women's underwear (Bolin is quite the obese guy and these are twice the size of him). He freaks out, Heenan says he has a six-foot trophy for Bolin. As Bolin turns around, Heenan puts the underwear on Bolin's head and throws him around the ring a bit. Bolin, blinded by the underwear, swings wildly for Heenan. Bolin gets free and charges at Heenan, but Heenan uses his red suit jacket like a matador's cape and Bolin goes crashing to the floor. Okay, the last minute of that segment was gold, but this was really disappointing.

 

- Ad Break

 

REY MISTERIO, CIRCA WCW. "HE'S COMING". Yes, this was the old introduction promo for him.

 

--

 

Let us go backstage, where Aaron "The Idol" Stevesn has a random women with him, then he pushes her away when Beth Phoenix comes into the frame. Apparently Alexis has given up her search for Cornette and we're just randomly going backstage. This is Deesere, apparently. Alexis Laree apparently decides to hold the microphone in front of them, even after yelling at Phoenix before that so we can hear Stevens' plan for later. Abrupt cut to Brent Albright coming out.

 

Albright is your OVW Heavyweight Champion and has a new belt which looks awesome. Apparently he is still the TV champion as well, even though he has to forfeit it. He cuts a promo that is decent (which is a step up from his usual stuff). Basically says he's forfeiting the TV title and there will be a match next week to decide the new champ. Ok, this guy is better on the mic without Cornette around.

 

Aaron "The Idol" Stevens is out with Beth Phoenix. Idol tries to talk into the mics on the commentary title, but they aren't hooked up to the PA, so Phoenix has to go into the ring and steal Albright's mic. Idol says the only reason Albright beat him for the TV title was because of Danny Inferno. Albright decides to put the TV title on the line after Phoenix has to give the PA back to Albright and I guess Al Snow okays it, so we'll have it after the break.

 

--

 

Usual Brent Albright match. Ref gets bumped. Albright locks in the crowbar on Idol and Idol taps but no ref. Phoenix distracts Albright (despite being billed as Albright's cousin http://www.ovwrestling.com/superstars/phoenix/profile.htm). I could drive a truck through that plothole. Idol hits him with a chair but the ref is still out. I guess there's only one ref tonight, because usually someone runs out at this point. Danny Inferno comes out, and acts like he's counting, Stevens thinks he's won, Inferno clocks Stevens, then chases Phoenix off. After about five minutes, the ref finally wakes up. After a bit of wrestling, Albright reverses a sunset flip into the crowbar, so he is your winner! Okay match. The ref gives Albright his thousand dollar check even though the match wasn't scheduled and Albright was supposed to forfeit the title tonight!

 

Albright does his usual "best damn wrestler" schtick, but out runs Simon Dean! He clocks him from behind, whips him with the championship belt! He tosses him into the side of the announce desk which moves about 4 feet(!) About a billion security guys and refs (where were they earlier during the match??) run out immediately, but Dean fights them off since wrestlers have superhuman powers now in the Dreamer era. A bunch of random guys in street clothes get decked (what the hell? oh well, it looks cool). It's about 20 on 1 and Nova is beating up everyone. Now all 20 guys just stand and watch Nova beating up Albright and they stick their hands out like they're trying to stop him. Nova takes a chair and sits on Albright.

 

He says he doesn't work here anymore, but it doesn't mean he doesn't watch this crap. He says guys in boas, bananas, fat guys, and "a goof who talks to head is comentating. This place is a friggin circus. Albright, on behalf of myself, Damaja, Basham, Dinsmore, the Ironman, the legends of OVW, you ain't a shooter, you'd better replace that o with an i, because that's exactly what you are, a piece of crap!" He demands Snow make a match between him and Albright for next week "My name is Simon Dean, and Simon Says I don't believe in any of you." He gives a guy NOVACAINE on the mat at ringside!

 

Okay, Dean was pretty entertaining there at least.

 

--

 

Rey Misterio is coming, and he won't do any of the moves he does in this promo because WWE is afraid someone will get hurt!!

 

--

 

Snow says okay for the Dean/Albright match next week. He says it'll be only live in the arena, not on TV. Here comes the Tolands and the heel locker room out to "take over". Tank says the inmates are running the asylum. Kenzo Suzuki and a bunch of random people are here... some other guy doing an arab gimmick and a bunch of people I've never seen before. Let's go to yet another break!

 

--

 

Oh my, the inmates have taken over. Here comes the faces and a bunch of random people. The Heartbreakers are randomly here, despite leaving OVW for good last week. There's Puder. Jeter gets to talk, for whatever reason. Jillian Hall, who has apparently recovered, throws rubbing alcohol in Jeter's eyes and all heck breaks loose with a bunch of random people fighting. I can't believe a huge brawl is so boring, probably because I don't know who is who. Probably if your favorite indy guy is "in OVW", you saw him in that segment.

 

Okay, this is the worst episode of OVW TV I've ever seen.

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Off the Run for the Rumble deal was an awesome angle where Damaja attacked Rocky Johson, leading to Jim Ross doing an interview over the phone with Cornette, where JR suspends Damaja. Damaja was meant to be in the Rumble, but when he got taken out, they had to explain why he wasn't going to be in it after winning the RftR. After the JR interview, Damaja and Jackie come out, bags in hand, and Damaja cuts a blistering promo, where he runs down everyone under the sun, before quitting OVW, and he and Jackie storm out of the side door, and into the night.

 

Was it ever planned for Damaja to actually be in the Rumble, or was it merely a plot device to further the Revolution stuff?

 

Also, does anyone know if the 2002 Six Flags events are available anywhere? I've seen the 2003 events being sold, but not 02. Are any of the Six Flags matches shown on the August/September 02 TV shows, as I've heard they are?

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Off the Run for the Rumble deal was an awesome angle where Damaja attacked Rocky Johson, leading to Jim Ross doing an interview over the phone with Cornette, where JR suspends Damaja. Damaja was meant to be in the Rumble, but when he got taken out, they had to explain why he wasn't going to be in it after winning the RftR. After the JR interview, Damaja and Jackie come out, bags in hand, and Damaja cuts a blistering promo, where he runs down everyone under the sun, before quitting OVW, and he and Jackie storm out of the side door, and into the night.

 

Was it ever planned for Damaja to actually be in the Rumble, or was it merely a plot device to further the Revolution stuff?

Damaja was meant to be part of the Rumble, but he got taken out when it was realised that with 15 guys from Raw and 15 guys from Smackdown in it, they didn't have room for him.

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