A good article by Skip Bayless!

[iggymcfly 0]

Since it's harder to read stuff in quote text, I'll just post the article directly:

 

Bonds' Performance Oscar-Worthy

 

Friends and co-workers were calling me as if they'd just seen a movie that had shaken them.

 

Talk shows were filling my voice mail with breathless requests for reaction.

 

Their reaction to what Barry Bonds had just said was: OH, MY GOD, HE'S GOING TO QUIT!

 

My reaction was amusement.

 

The more I watched a tape of The Interview That Rocked the World, the more I chuckled.

 

The more I chuckled, the madder I got.

 

The gall of this guy.

 

The childish gall.

 

What you must understand about Barry Lamar Bonds is that he is one big, calculating, spoiled brat of a supremely gifted child – 40 going on 14. For me, a Bonds at-bat remains the most riveting moment in sports. Yet for me, the rest of Bonds' life is one long Maalox moment.

 

So now America's favorite villain is trying to vilify the media.

 

That was the intent of his hilariously staged session last Tuesday outside the San Francisco Giants' clubhouse in Scottsdale, Ariz. Bonds wanted to shift the blame for his problems onto those who merely report what he does. With his performance as a tired, beaten man, Bonds wanted gullible fans everywhere to say: "The damned media has driven poor Barry into early retirement by ruining life for him and his family."

 

I must admit, Bonds was pretty convincing. Remember, he wants to be an actor when he's through with baseball. So I'll make him the B-Movie Oscar front-runner for Best Actor, Best Screenplay and Best Costume Design.

 

Yet this production had one major flaw. Come on, Barry, you don't give away the plot before you utter your first line.

 

Bonds didn't appear to realize that ESPN's camera already was rolling as reporters positioned themselves around him and his 15-year-old son Nikolai, seated next to him. Bonds did not qualify for Best Director as he ordered cameramen to "get my son in this, not just me, because I want to show the pain you've caused my family."

 

Ah, Hollywood.

 

Bonds was using his son as a prop. Nikolai wasn't allowed to have a speaking part, but he was wearing a retro Barry Sanders jersey. As a Bay Area columnist, I spent enough time closely observing Bonds to know that he doesn't miss a trick. I'm convinced he instructed Nikolai to wear this jersey to convey a subtle threat from his dad: Barry Sanders retired early; and this Barry might, too, if you people don't quit writing and talking about all the bad stuff.

 

Bonds also shrewdly used another prop – a crutch he was given after recent arthroscopic surgery. Bonds propped it under his chin as he poured out his anguish. Nice touch, Barry.

 

He dived into melodrama with: "You wanted me to jump off the bridge, I finally have jumped."

 

Then he leaped to this kill-the-messenger conclusion: "You wanted to bring me down, you finally have brought me and my family down."

 

Yes, it's our fault.

 

We chose a trainer with an already-shaky reputation – Greg Anderson, a high school teammate of Bonds who has been indicted for distributing steroids. We testified that we "unknowingly" used some sort of topical steroid that we thought was like flaxseed oil.

 

We carried on a nine-year relationship with a woman who wasn't Mrs. Bonds – a woman who says Bonds' attorney has acknowledged this relationship in several letters. We asked this woman to leave a job as a graphics designer in Silicon Valley and move to Phoenix. We dumped her and ultimately infuriated her by offering what she calls an insulting settlement of $15,000.

 

Yes, we make $17 million a year.

 

We all but dared her to write a book and do interviews with Geraldo Rivera on Fox News and with the San Francisco Chronicle. In those interviews, she says Bonds told her he was using steroids as early as 2000 and that she saw all the classic signs of steroid use – acne on the back, bloating and 'roid rage. That led to her being asked to testify before the BALCO grand jury.

 

Yet she said she did not see Bonds use steroids – a possible loophole for Bonds if the grand jury considers a perjury charge. Then again, she also says Bonds gave her $80,000 for a down payment on her Phoenix house – and that he took this money out of cash he received from autographed memorabilia. That accusation could interest the IRS.

 

Our fault, Barry.

 

We made your kids cry. Not you.

 

We pushed you off the retirement bridge.

 

Asked when he would return to play, Barry dropped this shrugging Bonds-shell: "Maybe midseason, maybe next year."

 

Maybe never.

 

Please don't take your home-run balls and go home, Barry.

 

But know this: At least once each of the last three seasons, Bonds has delivered his "I'm tired and this is my last season" speech to Bay Area reporters. And they have dutifully run to their computers and microphones and delivered breathless THIS COULD BE IT stories.

 

Around the clubhouse, Bonds often acts like a 14-year-old when he's horsing around or playing video games. And though his father, Bobby, and his godfather, Willie Mays, taught Barry to loathe the media, we're also his favorite toy. When he wants some attention, he knows he can set us off like fireworks.

 

He also admitted last season that "half the stuff I say to you guys, I don't believe."

 

There are only two ways Bonds isn't coming back. No. 1, if he goes to jail – and it's highly doubtful Bonds believes that right now. Or No. 2, if his knees are shot, which doesn't appear to be the case.

 

All we've been told is that Bonds has had three arthroscopic surgeries since last season to clip torn cartilage. No major ligament damage, just torn or frayed cartilage. The Giants say a second surgery was required on one knee because Bonds accidentally hit it on a table at SBC Park before spring training. The other theory is that Bonds pushed his rehab too hard because he was desperate to stay in monster shape in the tougher-testing era.

 

Bonds said he didn't like how his follow-up surgery had been "talked about," but he wouldn't be specific.

 

Yet he's going to miss half or all the season? Most pro athletes return from 'scope surgery in two to four weeks. I've had 'scopes on both knees. After the first one, at age 43, I was able to run three miles one week later, and I quickly increased it to six or eight miles. The second time, after some smoothing of my kneecap at 50, I was pounding the pavement again in three weeks.

 

Neither time did I need crutches to leave the hospital.

 

So I expect Bonds to be back by mid-April. Manager Felipe Alou sounds as if he does, too.

 

I also expect Bonds, who has 703 home runs, to pass Babe Ruth's 714 this season and break Henry Aaron's record of 755 next season. If nothing else, Bonds can finally swallow his pride and move from left field to first base, where he wouldn't have to run as much. Bonds has said he will not play first base, presumably because he wouldn't want to embarrass himself at a position he doesn't know and considers beneath his Gold Glove dignity.

 

Maybe it's time to learn first base.

 

I also fully expect Bonds to wind up his career as an American League DH, probably in Anaheim. Bonds dropped a hint last season about wanting to play for the Angels, because he now owns a home in Beverly Hills.

 

Oh, woe is Barry.

 

He was born with a Silver Slugger in his mouth, amid some of America's most expensive real estate in San Carlos, Calif. His formative years were spent in major-league clubhouses. He has been a superstar since Little League.

 

Yet he regularly reminds reporters of how much tougher it is for black players. But for Barry Bonds? And is it the media's fault that Bonds keeps making his quest to pass Ruth a racial issue?

 

In his first spring-training media session, Bonds tried to intimidate the media. You lie! In his second interview, he tried to plead with reporters in what sounded almost like a confession. We're entertainers. Leave us alone and let us do what we have to do.

 

Now poor Barry has tried to blame the media.

 

He ended Tuesday's performance by turning to Nikolai and wearily saying: "Let's go home."

 

I wondered if he had practiced the line in front of the mirror.

[iggymcfly 0]

He made similar points to the ones TSMers make, but it sounds more credible in a real article like that. I usually hate Skip Bayless, but I think he was right on the money with some of the stuff he said. Barry Bonds was just grandstanding, and his "injury" really isn't serious enough to worry about.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Nikolai Bonds. Never knew about Barry's Russian heritage.

[Vern Gagne 0]

The good news is Bonds could say pretty much anything for sympthathy, and the majority of baseball fans wouldn't buy it for a second.

[Mole 0]

First off, I hate Skip Bayless so damn much. He is one of the most arrogant people in this wonderful world we live in. It seems like every topic that comes up on Cold Pizza, he HAS to argue over. Just because he is "always right" when he is barely ever right and his arguments for why he thinks he is right, don't make any sense. The man's face is so tight he makes Joan River's face look natural. There are only two "celebs" in this world I would spit on if I saw in public; Jorge Posada and Skip Bayless.

 

And it pains me to say that he couldn't be anymore right.

[Guest Crazy Dan]

Yeah, Barry is a moody, arogant, jerk and I do think that he will say whatever comes to his mind. If he is having a bad day, he will let it be known. I think that the frustrations of his mistress, steroids, and three knee injuries, would put many in a bad mood. I am Giants fan, so I do hope he comes back, becuase I do think the Giants will compete. I don't see him sitting out the full year, he is too competitive for that. However, I don't know if he used roids or not. Barry does work out harder than many of his peers and it is not uncommon for people in their early twenties to gain weight as the get older. If you notice that Bonds has stayed the same size, unlike Giambi and Ivan Rodriguez. So it is possible that he did use, I will agree with that, but it is also possible that he didn't. Unfortunately, Bonds has not done hardly anything to make those warm up to him and so the media blitz is not going to be let up. So, you are going to get episodes that have been a part of the preseason, with him going off or acting real depressed. But, he will be back in May or June and the I think the Giants will be be in the thick of the West with their pitching and improved D, even if half the starters need walkers to move around.

[Gert T 0]

While I agree with most of what Skip said, I love how he had to drop how many miles he runs. And being able to run long distances is different than the quick, infrequent start-stop movements baseball players make.

 

But its good to hear you're such a warrior Skip.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

I really hate hearing non-athletes try to compare themselves to athletes. I'm not commenting on how long it should take Barry to come back because I really don't know, but it burns me up to hear a no-it-all comparing apples and oranges. It would also be refreshingly honest to hear members of the media actually admit that there are some jerks in their midst. That's something I would like to read an artile about.

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

Why wait for the article? ESPN holds a half hour special on the subject every afternoon at 5.

[Guest Brian]

Why wait for the article? ESPN holds a half hour special on the subject every afternoon at 5.

PTI?

 

What kind of alternate universe is Skip Bayless in where he can run three miles a week after arthroscopy?

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

Close. I was referring to Around the Horn.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Why wait for the article?  ESPN holds a half hour special on the subject every afternoon at 5.

PTI?

 

What kind of alternate universe is Skip Bayless in where he can run three miles a week after arthroscopy?

It's not an alternate world. He just has the proper footwear: Bayless Shoe Source

[MrRant 0]

Boo.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Oh come on.

[MrRant 0]

It was really lame.

 

Its at like a SKBF or ChonoT level.

[iggymcfly 0]

He's right. I almost made fun of it myself, but I didn't want people to get mad at me for "flaming".

[TheDevilAndGodAreRagingInsideMe 0]

There are only two "celebs" in this world I would spit on if I saw in public; Jorge Posada and Skip Bayless.

May I ask why the other is Jorge Posada?