I feel like a lazy slug

[LessonInMachismo 0]

That makes two old men who are mowing their lawns today. The grass is alive now in the beginning of Spring, but I am too tired to get out there and do it.

 

To be fair, the old men don't have to go to work for 9 to 10 hours.

 

Hmmm...the irony...what if I offer the old men the opportunity to "make a few bucks" by "cutting the grass?"

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Ha. I'm dreading cutting my lawn, too. Man I hated that, but at least it's good exercise...

[Guest Vitamin X]

Thank god I live in an apartment complex.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

For as much as lawn mowing sucks, I'd never want to rent again...

[Guest Vitamin X]

Then condos are the way to go.

[LessonInMachismo 0]

I dislike apartments for numerous reasons.

 

1. You lose money.

2. Parking or lack thereof.

3. Dirty people sending their ants and roaches your way.

4. Loud people.

5. No garages (though sometimes car ports).

6. Landlords taking their time in fixing stuff.

7. See #1 again. And while you're at it, #4, too.

8. Rental agreements.

[alfdogg 0]

Oh, waah. Just be happy you have enough to live on your own.

[LessonInMachismo 0]

Oh, waah. Just be happy you have enough to live on your own.

A quíen estás hablando, chico?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Machismo -- in your list don't forget the anal rape that takes place when trying to get your security deposit back. Man have I got a story regarding that department. Oh yeah, and they don't give you back your security deposit either...

[Art Sandusky 0]

Holy crap, KKK took his avatar away.

[Guest Vitamin X]

I know, that shocked me as well.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Holy crap, KKK took his avatar away.

The Avatar'll come out, tomorrow,

Bet your bottom dollar, that tomorrow,

There’ll be Mumia...

[The Czech Republic 0]

Fry Mumia has to be one of the longest-running subtitles

[LessonInMachismo 0]

Holy crap, KKK took his avatar away.

The Avatar'll come out, tomorrow,

Bet your bottom dollar, that tomorrow,

There’ll be Mumia...

And the day after tomorrow there'll be WrestleMumia!

 

As for the security desposit, the property management company that ran the last complex I lived in before moving on up, so to speak, would do a walk through and then start checking costs and by the time they were done, your deposite was gone. We took really good care of everything, cleaned the carpet, and replaced the stovetop pans (which the company would have charged $30 for, when they are much less in the store) and we stll only got $70 out of $200 back.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

When I lived in Sappy Valley the better half and I moved in to this apartment, and when we moved out we left the place in better condition than it was when we first arrived. Well, here are some of the things we got hit for:

 

* Had to replace all the screen windows because they were clawed. Although we had a kitten at the time we only kept one window open and she rarely, if ever, went up to that window. The previous renters, from my understanding had some kitties, too.

 

* Got double-billed for a month's electric. We payed our last bill, and the electric company sent a bill to the management office, and they also deducted that from our security deposit.

 

* We were charged for the removal of contact paper from the kitchen drawers -- they were there when we got in.

 

* We left early because the new tennant wanted to move in early. No problem, we were supposed to be pro-rated the rest of our last month's rent. Well, we moved out Saturday, and the tennant didn't move in until Wednesday. We didn't get our pro-rated rent for the time in-between. It would have been nice to know this, considering I was moving into another apartment on the complex, and due to my work schedule and the better half's graduation taking place, I slept on the FUCKING FLOOR of my new apartment that first night when I could have been in my old apartment instead.

 

* There were a few other things that I can't remember.

 

Well, after realizing how bad we got buttfucked I then took pictures of all the shit that was wrong with the apartment I was in. One of the windows in my apartment had something broken on it, and I made a note of this. I even taped the fucking fragment to my "report" that I turned into these assholes. Well, when it was time to move out I had them do a walk-through and they mentioned the "broken" window. I then told them about my "report" and they didn't remember. Well, we went back to the office and they pulled out my "report." They said there wasn't a fragment on the report. Of course there was tape marks on the paper from where they apparently tore off this fragment, not to mention the section of the page where I taped this piece of plastic was torn out.

 

When I finally moved out of Sappy Valley and into Ohio, I wondered why I hadn't received my security deposit from the second place I rented from. The cunt manager said I had to get my money from the people I subletted from, which is NOT what she had said to me on two separate instances. After threatening to pay her a visit with a few "toys" I got my deposit back sans $50.

 

Fry Mumia has to be one of the longest-running subtitles

 

Personally, I don't get why you crazy kids keep changing your name/avatar/subject line. Pick something and stick with it...

[Guest Vitamin X]

*bitch, bitch, moan, moan, whine*

Uh huh.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

If you don't like it, hippie, I'll inflate an inner tube so you can float back to Cuba and get your free rice cooker...

[Bruiser Chong 0]

We seem to have a curse where any major appliances we purchase for maintence (i.e. lawnmowers and vacuum cleaners) go in and out of working order. Hence anytime someone comes by with an offer to cut the grass, I'm game. I remember a couple springs back this one Jamaican guy on a bike cut my grass all season long. He was a cool cat and I was disappointed to never see him come around again.

[Slayer 0]

After threatening to pay her a visit with a few "toys"...

?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

?

 

[Slayer 0]

For her or for me?

[Guest Vitamin X]

If you don't like it, hippie, I'll inflate an inner tube so you can float back to Cuba and get your free rice cooker...

Hey you're the one bitching about minor nuisances, not me.

 

Uh oh, HE HAD TO REPLACE A SCREEN WINDOW FOLKS. WHAT A TRAGEDY.

[LessonInMachismo 0]

If you don't like it, hippie, I'll inflate an inner tube so you can float back to Cuba and get your free rice cooker...

****1/2

[LessonInMachismo 0]

We seem to have a curse where any major appliances we purchase for maintence (i.e. lawnmowers and vacuum cleaners) go in and out of working order.  Hence anytime someone comes by with an offer to cut the grass, I'm game.  I remember a couple springs back this one Jamaican guy on a bike cut my grass all season long.  He was a cool cat and I was disappointed to never see him come around again.

There was a redneck who lived in his van in the driveway of his sister's house next door to the house that I just sold. He would mow my lawn for $10. Not too bad. I'd pull out of the garage to go to work and he'd be standing there with his skullet, cheap cap and fake Oakley's working on his "race car" and he'd like wave his arms at me and I'd roll the window down and he go, "Want me to zip ya?"

 

I'd just give him the thumbs up and say, "Zip me."

 

On the subject of apartments...yeah, that's a bunch of bullshit. Fortunately, I don't have to put up with a lot of garbage like that because I'm big and menacing. Not only am I 6'6, 270lbs, but I can put this look on that makes people...more inclined to agree with me.

 

When I moved from California in 1998, the shitty apartment I was living in (another story altogether) had a roof that was not only leaking, but was about to collapse. When I handed in the key to the literal four-hundred pound manager, he asked me about the last month's rent. I said in a sarcastic Seinfeld voice, "The check's in the mail."

 

I think that if I would've added "fatboy" to the end of that line, it would've been cooler.

[LessonInMachismo 0]

That makes two old men who are mowing their lawns today.  The grass is alive now in the beginning of Spring, but I am too tired to get out there and do it.

 

To be fair, the old men don't have to go to work for 9 to 10 hours.

 

Hmmm...the irony...what if I offer the old men the opportunity to "make a few bucks" by "cutting the grass?"

Why did you steal my sig idea?

Micah L. Glossinger

 

Tough Enough Contestant

 

Group: Members

Posts: 69

Member No.: 6366

Joined: 16-September 04

 

69, dude!

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Hey you're the one bitching about minor nuisances, not me.

 

Uh oh, HE HAD TO REPLACE A SCREEN WINDOW FOLKS. WHAT A TRAGEDY.

But when these "minor nuisances" that I had nothing to do with add up to several hundred dollars of your security deposit/pro-rated rent being taken away you tend to get a bit pissy (if memory serves the amount was around $500).

 

Like LIM said in this thread, landlords will nitpick at every little thing to get more of your security deposit. Now I can understand that many tennants are assholes and leave a place in shitty condition, but that's not the fault of the tennants out there that try to keep a living quarters clean. I suggest to anyone moving in a place to spend the first day or so inspecting the place and taking pictures of anything that a landlord might charge you for when you move out. Make copies of the pictures and give the landlord a copy. And if the pics aren't dated, get them notarized if possible.

 

For once, trust your elders on this one, young TSM posters.

 

For her or for me?

 

For both.

 

...He would mow my lawn for $10...

 

lol -- when we moved into our house in August, the lawn hadn't been mowed in at least a month. The couple we bought the house from were old and didn't do the lawncare (which I don't blame them for -- they have both since passed on). Anyway, we figured we'd buy a lawn mower once we got moved in. No sense in buying it and then having to put it in a U-Haul. Anyway, the first day or so we had all our stuff in the house this neighborhood kid comes up and offeres to mow our lawn. He did a shitty job, but it was better than having a jungle growing. All I needed to do was have my car parked on cinder blocks and we would have looked like white trash.

 

Oh, and since we moved in, two houses nearby have been sold, and two more are on the market. This was all after I had my Bush/Cheney sign out on the front yard (Our house was the only one with such a sign...)

[Slayer 0]

Why did you steal my sig idea?

Because you're such a producer of quality sigs...

 

Not only am I 6'6, 270lbs

Sass has some competition

[LessonInMachismo 0]

Hey you're the one bitching about minor nuisances, not me.

 

Uh oh, HE HAD TO REPLACE A SCREEN WINDOW FOLKS. WHAT A TRAGEDY.

But when these "minor nuisances" that I had nothing to do with add up to several hundred dollars of your security deposit/pro-rated rent being taken away you tend to get a bit pissy (if memory serves the amount was around $500).

 

Like LIM said in this thread, landlords will nitpick at every little thing to get more of your security deposit. Now I can understand that many tennants are assholes and leave a place in shitty condition, but that's not the fault of the tennants out there that try to keep a living quarters clean. I suggest to anyone moving in a place to spend the first day or so inspecting the place and taking pictures of anything that a landlord might charge you for when you move out. Make copies of the pictures and give the landlord a copy. And if the pics aren't dated, get them notarized if possible.

 

For once, trust your elders on this one, young TSM posters.

 

For her or for me?

 

For both.

 

...He would mow my lawn for $10...

 

lol -- when we moved into our house in August, the lawn hadn't been mowed in at least a month. The couple we bought the house from were old and didn't do the lawncare (which I don't blame them for -- they have both since passed on). Anyway, we figured we'd buy a lawn mower once we got moved in. No sense in buying it and then having to put it in a U-Haul. Anyway, the first day or so we had all our stuff in the house this neighborhood kid comes up and offeres to mow our lawn. He did a shitty job, but it was better than having a jungle growing. All I needed to do was have my car parked on cinder blocks and we would have looked like white trash.

 

Oh, and since we moved in, two houses nearby have been sold, and two more are on the market. This was all after I had my Bush/Cheney sign out on the front yard (Our house was the only one with such a sign...)

This weird, nervous mulato kid and a little white kid with an earring showed up at my door a year after I moved into my first house. They said they wanted to mow my lawn. I told them I'd pay them $10. So I go to the store, come back and find the lawn half mowed. I go to the side of the house and found that they had run over a sewer pipe plug. PVC was everywhere. I guess they got scared and took off. I started up my lawnmower, finished the job, cleaned up the PVC and went to the hardware store to buy the stuff to repair the pipe. Cost me over $10.

 

So the mulato kid shows up a few days later wanting his money. I started doing Rock gestures and said, "Let me get this straight...you mowed half my lawn, tore up a pipe without cleaning it up and you expect me to pay you?" The kid just stared at me. So I took my wallet out and said, "Kid, here's five bucks. Never come back. Take this as a lesson in life. If you had stayed and admitted your mistake, maybe things would have turned out differently."

 

The next day the white kid sees my driving and yells, "Hey, I helped him mow the lawn, too!" So I yell back, "You owe me five bucks, then!"

 

Speaking of political signs, that neighborhood was strictly Kerry/Edwards. My house, the one next door and one down the street were the only houses that were new and worth more than $100,000, but the next three streets were all new and there were a few Bush/Cheney signs. Up in the mansion area where Bill Clinton used to live was all Kerry, too.

 

Here in my new suburban neighborhood, almost every house had a Bush/Cheney sign and there weren't any Kerry signs.

 

My boss lives in a crappy townhouse in the university area and he got thrashed for his Bush/Cheney signs. He proceeded to put up a W cardboard cutout.

[Slayer 0]

Fry Mumia has to be one of the longest-running subtitles

Personally, I don't get why you crazy kids keep changing your name/avatar/subject line. Pick something and stick with it...

What are you going to do if they actually fry Mumia?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I'll probably be rotting in my grave somewhere because God, not the State, will eventually "execute" him.

 

The next day the white kid sees my driving and yells, "Hey, I helped him mow the lawn, too!" So I yell back, "You owe me five bucks, then!"

 

lol -- you should have said that you owed him $2.50 and he needs to get it from that other kid. That's how Judge Judy resolved a case one time. (Yes, I watch Judge Judy every now and then so f' you all...)