The OAO RAW Thread - 5/16/05

[GreatWhiteNope 0]

 

GOLD RUSH CONCLUDES

MAY 16, 2005

 

It’s finals time.

 

The Gold Rush Tournament comes to a close as the No. 1 Contender to Batista’s World Heavyweight Championship is officially determined. Will it be the Big Red Monster Kane, or “Mr. Money in the Bank” Edge?

 

 

Edge has used his coveted briefcase at every opportunity to help get him over the top in recent matches, while Kane has his own X-factor in wife Lita. Will the Gold Rush Tournament end with Edge being chokeslammed to Hell, or with Kane being speared off his feet? Tune in Monday night to find out — alongside the World Heavyweight Champion — who Batista’s next opponent will be.

 

Also announced for RAW, Ric Flair gets his match against Christian. “The Dirtiest Player in the Game” dispatched with Tyson Tomko last week on RAW, and now there’s nobody left between the former 16-time world champion and his target: Captain Charisma. Will Christian be able to come through in a huge match for his peeps? We’ll find out Monday.

 

And the team of Chris Jericho & Shelton Benjamin will get their chance at retribution when they face Muhammad Hassan and Daivari in tag-team action.

 

Let's see how the server holds up.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Gonna go with: Kane pins Edge, Hassan pins Shelton, Flair by DQ over Christian

[GreatWhiteNope 0]

I'll say Edge pins Kane after Lita turns and costs him the match, Christian pins Flair after Tomko interferes, and Team ALAHAYEEYAH wins.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Edge vs. Kane is tricky. Signs point to Edge and Lita pairing up, but the WWE is a mark for Kane vs. Batista and Edge already has a title shot. I guess they could do both and have Lita turn on Kane but Kane wins anyways, but that sorta devalues the turn. Is Edge/Batista a bigger match than Batista/Kane? They seem to have plans for Edge, while Kane tends to just float around until needed. Whomever wins this would go against Batista on a RAW show, not a PPV, since HHH/Batista has already been advertised; and whomever loses would probably get a title shot on PPV in the future... if that makes sense.

 

Know what would be cool? If Kane laid down for Edge, and then Edge stuck his tongue down Litas throat and Kane smiled. Kane becomes Edges bodyguard, Lita is Edges fuckbuddyslut, and Kane is ok with that because Kane is a twisted fuck who gets off on that sorta thing. OR, you have Edge lay down for Kane and do the same thing, but since Edge already has his title shot whenever he wants, he says he'll let Kane beat up Batista and then take the leftovers for the title. Then you have Batista face an uphill battle against Edge/Kane and still work those matches out.

[razazteca 0]

I want to see Gene Snitsky get involved somehow causing a DQ nonfinish.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Flair vs. Christian should be like this...

 

*They are about to lock up, all the standard wrestling taunts are here (slapping their own chests/shoulders, lil stretches, circling, etc) Flair fakes and yells out "whooooo!". Christian looks surprised*

 

*They are about to lock up again, Christian fakes and goes "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!" Flair looks shocked*

 

*They are about to lock up for the third time, Flair fakes, yells out "Whoooo!", and then does a strut. Christian looks angry*

 

*They are about to lock up again, Christian fakes and goes "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!, and then kisses his fingers and points to the crowd. Flair FLIPS OUT and leaves the ring. Christian soaks up the cheers, and Flair is about to go to the back but Tomko gets in the way. Flair WHOOOS! at Tomko, and Tomko deadpans. Flair lets out a louder "Whooo" and Tomko gives a look of "Ok, that's enough, I can't handle this" and moves aside. Christian looks at Tomko and Tomko shrugs. Flair makes his way to the back, but then ultimately returns to the ring. Total Time including entrances: 7 minutes.*

 

*Back inside the ring, they both fake the lock up, both do their routine, both look shocked, and both leave the ring on opposite ends. Tomko consoles Christian, gives him some water, wipes the sweat off him, basic cornerman stuff. Flair yells at the fans. All the while, JR and King are dumbfounded.*

 

*They FINALLY lock up and Christian fakes an injury. He says that Flair eye gouged him and the ref goes after Flair. Christian smiles and mocks Flair behind the refs back. Flair is outraged.*

 

*They lock up again, Flair intentionally gouges Christians eyes, and the ref turns flair around and yells at him. Christian is to the back of Flair, and Flair gives Christian a low blow, which the ref doesn't see. Flair does a strut, while Christian is on the ground holding his crotch and looking at Flair.*

 

*Christian calls for a time out, but doesn't get one. They lock up, Flair gets a headlock, they work it for a few seconds, then Christian pulls down Flairs tights (he's wearing underwear), Flair is shocked, lets go of the headlock, starts to run but then falls down. Christian does a strut of his own, then pats his chest, "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!" and kisses his fingers and points to the crowd. Flair rolls out of the ring, goes under the ring, but Tomko pulls him out (shorts are now up). Flair has a fire extinguisher, though, and sprays it in Tomkos eyes. Christian comes out and a blinded Tomko is about to hit him but stops before he can land a punch. Christian breathes a sigh of relief and they hug. Tomko has his back to Flair, Flair runs into Tomko, who gets knocked into Christian and they both go down. Flair gets back in the ring and "Whooos" with a lil strut.*

 

*Commercial break*

*back, with both guys in the ring*

 

"I was there for Flair/Steamboat. I was there for Flair/Sting. I was there for Flair/Funk. This... isn't quite like those matches..." - JR

 

"This has been the longest match of the night, JR, and the only move I've seen is a headlock!" - King

 

*Christian tries to get a "Christian" chant going on one side of the crowd, he yells at Tomko and Tomko reluctantly brings out a "Christian" sign. Flair looks out to the other side of the crowd (for the chance of a "flair" chant).*

 

*They are about to lock up for the billionth time and Christian fakes a leg injury. Tomko gets up on the apron with the sign in his hand and distracts Flair (the other side says "Flair sucks") Christian gets up and runs at Flair, Flair moves, Christian hits the sign that Tomko is holding and gets knocked out. The sign falls to the ring, and Tomko falls to the floor. Flair picks up the sign, tears it apart to reveal a stop sign.*

 

*Flair gets a near fall on Christian*

 

*Flair picks Christian up, puts him in the corner, and works the chops. Christians selling is really over-the-top here. Lugerish.*

 

*Christian turns Flair around and tries to chop him... it hurts his hand... Christian sells it like he broke his hand.*

 

*Christian backs off, gets on his knees, and begs Flair*

 

*Tomko gets back on the apron, the ref goes over, Flair goes to knock him off, Tomko throws a spraycan in behind their backs, Flair turns is about to get maced by Christian, but moves and the ref gets it in the eyes.*

 

"Oh, now what?!" - JR.

 

*Christian and Flair slug it out, Tomko gets in on it but gets low blowed by Flair. They still slug it out, Tomko gets up, but gets low blowed by Christian. Slugging it out, Flair misses a punch, Christian turns it into his reverse DDT. Christian tells Tomko to get the ref, who is still blinded, and when he does the ref low blows Tomko. Tomko is done and leaves the ring. Christian sees Tomko leaving, turns his back on Flair, Flair rolls him up and pulls the tights. The ref is still blind.*

 

*Flair and Christian stand off. They look at the blind ref. They talk. They eventually agree that the ref needs to see and both go out of the ring to get a water bottle. They both tend to the ref and make sure he's ok. Once the ref is, Christian rolls up Flair, pulls the tights, and gets the three count.*

 

*Christian runs out of the ring, yells out "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!", pats his chest, kisses his fingers, and points to the crowd.*

 

*Flair looks amazed. He can either flip out, or give Christian applause and call him back to the ring and shake his hand... and then kick him in the groin.*

[Jericholic82 0]

Flair vs. Christian should be like this...

 

*They are about to lock up, all the standard wrestling taunts are here (slapping their own chests/shoulders, lil stretches, circling, etc) Flair fakes and yells out "whooooo!". Christian looks surprised*

 

*They are about to lock up again, Christian fakes and goes "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!" Flair looks shocked*

 

*They are about to lock up for the third time, Flair fakes, yells out "Whoooo!", and then does a strut. Christian looks angry*

 

*They are about to lock up again, Christian fakes and goes "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!, and then kisses his fingers and points to the crowd. Flair FLIPS OUT and leaves the ring. Christian soaks up the cheers, and Flair is about to go to the back but Tomko gets in the way. Flair WHOOOS! at Tomko, and Tomko deadpans. Flair lets out a louder "Whooo" and Tomko gives a look of "Ok, that's enough, I can't handle this" and moves aside. Christian looks at Tomko and Tomko shrugs. Flair makes his way to the back, but then ultimately returns to the ring. Total Time including entrances: 7 minutes.*

 

*Back inside the ring, they both fake the lock up, both do their routine, both look shocked, and both leave the ring on opposite ends. Tomko consoles Christian, gives him some water, wipes the sweat off him, basic cornerman stuff. Flair yells at the fans. All the while, JR and King are dumbfounded.*

 

*They FINALLY lock up and Christian fakes an injury. He says that Flair eye gouged him and the ref goes after Flair. Christian smiles and mocks Flair behind the refs back. Flair is outraged.*

 

*They lock up again, Flair intentionally gouges Christians eyes, and the ref turns flair around and yells at him. Christian is to the back of Flair, and Flair gives Christian a low blow, which the ref doesn't see. Flair does a strut, while Christian is on the ground holding his crotch and looking at Flair.*

 

*Christian calls for a time out, but doesn't get one. They lock up, Flair gets a headlock, they work it for a few seconds, then Christian pulls down Flairs tights (he's wearing underwear), Flair is shocked, lets go of the headlock, starts to run but then falls down. Christian does a strut of his own, then pats his chest, "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!" and kisses his fingers and points to the crowd. Flair rolls out of the ring, goes under the ring, but Tomko pulls him out (shorts are now up). Flair has a fire extinguisher, though, and sprays it in Tomkos eyes. Christian comes out and a blinded Tomko is about to hit him but stops before he can land a punch. Christian breathes a sigh of relief and they hug. Tomko has his back to Flair, Flair runs into Tomko, who gets knocked into Christian and they both go down. Flair gets back in the ring and "Whooos" with a lil strut.*

 

*Commercial break*

sounds great.

 

 

I pick Edge, Jericho/benjamin (someone pins daivari to continue the face turn angle), Christian

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Jericho turns on Shelton, Daivari pins him.

 

Next week Hassan gives Daivari a chance to prove himself in an IC title match against Benjamin but he fails, furthering that angle. Jericho attacks Benjamin post match. Later Hassan gives a beatdown to Daivari but Benjamin makes the save. Daivari realizes the error of his ways and says he could learn to love America. He is then drafted to Smackdown to join the CWs.

 

Flair loses to Christian. Flair is pretty angry that HHH was not there to be of any help due to his thick headed walk out plan. Tensions brew between Flair and HHH for the next few shows, Flair finally turns face and goes to SmackDown to feud with JBL.

 

Edge defeats Kane when Lita turns on Kane. Lita explains she always has and always will hate Kane but thanks him for his assistance in riding her of Trish Stratus. To play off the Matt chants, Edge/Lita will reference that situation and relate it to what has happened to Kane. Edge will almost win the title from Batista next week but HHH will make his return and pedigree everyone, rendering the match a no contest. Edge will be angry but rest easy knowing he came close to winning and still has a guaranteed world title shot coming up. He will then be drafted to SmackDown making his Raw title shot null and void.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Good news, everyone.

 

"super-sexy Christy will face the gorgeous Candice in a Lingerie Pillow Fight. Christy has had great success in this match in the past. Which Diva will come out on top?"

 

Everyone loves these, right?

[iggymcfly 0]

Flair vs. Christian should be like this...

 

*They are about to lock up, all the standard wrestling taunts are here (slapping their own chests/shoulders, lil stretches, circling, etc) Flair fakes and yells out "whooooo!". Christian looks surprised*

 

*They are about to lock up again, Christian fakes and goes "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!" Flair looks shocked*

 

*They are about to lock up for the third time, Flair fakes, yells out "Whoooo!", and then does a strut. Christian looks angry*

 

*They are about to lock up again, Christian fakes and goes "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!, and then kisses his fingers and points to the crowd. Flair FLIPS OUT and leaves the ring. Christian soaks up the cheers, and Flair is about to go to the back but Tomko gets in the way. Flair WHOOOS! at Tomko, and Tomko deadpans. Flair lets out a louder "Whooo" and Tomko gives a look of "Ok, that's enough, I can't handle this" and moves aside. Christian looks at Tomko and Tomko shrugs. Flair makes his way to the back, but then ultimately returns to the ring. Total Time including entrances: 7 minutes.*

 

*Back inside the ring, they both fake the lock up, both do their routine, both look shocked, and both leave the ring on opposite ends. Tomko consoles Christian, gives him some water, wipes the sweat off him, basic cornerman stuff. Flair yells at the fans. All the while, JR and King are dumbfounded.*

 

*They FINALLY lock up and Christian fakes an injury. He says that Flair eye gouged him and the ref goes after Flair. Christian smiles and mocks Flair behind the refs back. Flair is outraged.*

 

*They lock up again, Flair intentionally gouges Christians eyes, and the ref turns flair around and yells at him. Christian is to the back of Flair, and Flair gives Christian a low blow, which the ref doesn't see. Flair does a strut, while Christian is on the ground holding his crotch and looking at Flair.*

 

*Christian calls for a time out, but doesn't get one. They lock up, Flair gets a headlock, they work it for a few seconds, then Christian pulls down Flairs tights (he's wearing underwear), Flair is shocked, lets go of the headlock, starts to run but then falls down. Christian does a strut of his own, then pats his chest, "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!" and kisses his fingers and points to the crowd. Flair rolls out of the ring, goes under the ring, but Tomko pulls him out (shorts are now up). Flair has a fire extinguisher, though, and sprays it in Tomkos eyes. Christian comes out and a blinded Tomko is about to hit him but stops before he can land a punch. Christian breathes a sigh of relief and they hug. Tomko has his back to Flair, Flair runs into Tomko, who gets knocked into Christian and they both go down. Flair gets back in the ring and "Whooos" with a lil strut.*

 

*Commercial break*

*back, with both guys in the ring*

 

"I was there for Flair/Steamboat. I was there for Flair/Sting. I was there for Flair/Funk. This... isn't quite like those matches..." - JR

 

"This has been the longest match of the night, JR, and the only move I've seen is a headlock!" - King

 

*Christian tries to get a "Christian" chant going on one side of the crowd, he yells at Tomko and Tomko reluctantly brings out a "Christian" sign. Flair looks out to the other side of the crowd (for the chance of a "flair" chant).*

 

*They are about to lock up for the billionth time and Christian fakes a leg injury. Tomko gets up on the apron with the sign in his hand and distracts Flair (the other side says "Flair sucks") Christian gets up and runs at Flair, Flair moves, Christian hits the sign that Tomko is holding and gets knocked out. The sign falls to the ring, and Tomko falls to the floor. Flair picks up the sign, tears it apart to reveal a stop sign.*

 

*Flair gets a near fall on Christian*

 

*Flair picks Christian up, puts him in the corner, and works the chops. Christians selling is really over-the-top here. Lugerish.*

 

*Christian turns Flair around and tries to chop him... it hurts his hand... Christian sells it like he broke his hand.*

 

*Christian backs off, gets on his knees, and begs Flair*

 

*Tomko gets back on the apron, the ref goes over, Flair goes to knock him off, Tomko throws a spraycan in behind their backs, Flair turns is about to get maced by Christian, but moves and the ref gets it in the eyes.*

 

"Oh, now what?!" - JR.

 

*Christian and Flair slug it out, Tomko gets in on it but gets low blowed by Flair. They still slug it out, Tomko gets up, but gets low blowed by Christian. Slugging it out, Flair misses a punch, Christian turns it into his reverse DDT. Christian tells Tomko to get the ref, who is still blinded, and when he does the ref low blows Tomko. Tomko is done and leaves the ring. Christian sees Tomko leaving, turns his back on Flair, Flair rolls him up and pulls the tights. The ref is still blind.*

 

*Flair and Christian stand off. They look at the blind ref. They talk. They eventually agree that the ref needs to see and both go out of the ring to get a water bottle. They both tend to the ref and make sure he's ok. Once the ref is, Christian rolls up Flair, pulls the tights, and gets the three count.*

 

*Christian runs out of the ring, yells out "THAT'S HOW I ROLL!", pats his chest, kisses his fingers, and points to the crowd.*

 

*Flair looks amazed. He can either flip out, or give Christian applause and call him back to the ring and shake his hand... and then kick him in the groin.*

That's great, but I think you could drag it out more. A match like that should get two commercial breaks at least.

[GreatWhiteNope 0]

Which Diva will come out on top?

They want us to guess which one has a penis?

 

My money's on Candice.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

That's great, but I think you could drag it out more. A match like that should get two commercial breaks at least.

Yeah, I was thinkin about that. There'd still be plenty of stuff for them to do, but it's hard to negotiate time and momentum in a match like that. When does it start to get old for the crowd? To have it go any longer, you'd have to introduce new characters to the mix. Have someone come down and cheat for Flair, the Hurricane for instance (after an earlier confrontation with Christian in the back), then have the heartthrobs come out for more hilarity. Rosie comes down, then Tomko finally comes back in the end to even it up.

[SuperJerk 0]

I'm still opposed to Lita turning heel on Kane and teaming with Edge on the grounds that its TOO obvious.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

It would be a bit of a surprise to Mr. and Mrs. Outoftheloop (we may have to bleep their names) who aren't aware of why people are chanting something about Matt during Edge matches and Lita appearances.

[benoit4hor 0]

I predict they show the ECW add early in the show and the crowd dies until Shelton hits the move of the night.

[Guest Fook]

It would be a bit of a surprise to Mr. and Mrs. Outoftheloop (we may have to bleep their names) who aren't aware of why people are chanting something about Matt during Edge matches and Lita appearances.

You'll bleep nothing!

 

Just out of curiousity, why is the OAO Raw Thread back?

[razazteca 0]

Who the hell is Candice, seriously?

[Exslade ZX 0]

Who the hell is Candice, seriously?

Who the hell is Candice, seriously?

GoDaddy.com girl. The one who does that little twirling thing.

 

That's pretty much all there is to her. If you don't know her..you don't know her. Here's a pic though

 

http://www.wwe.com/superstars/raw/candace/photos/

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

You'll bleep nothing!

Much thanks for doing the follow-up line I was hoping someone would do

 

Anyway, Candace is the girl from the Taxi Driver WM commercial / GoDaddy Superbowl ad. Meltzer said WWE would be insane to not capitalize on that and sure enough they had her o nthe Highlight Reel wasting time and contributing nothing. Hope Da Meltz was happy.

[razazteca 0]

The pillow fight better have some nip slippage, G-Strings, bouncy breastseseseses or the segment will be a complete waste.

 

And please do not let them talk.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

If you're watching the pillow fight for that then you're a sad case.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

The pillow fight better have the pillows get angry, grow arms, and start having DIVA fights.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Now we're talking.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

It's irawny.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

*Masters enters the ring*

 

*Falls asleep*

 

*The fans cut a promo and then full nelsons each other and then continues to suck*

 

JR: Bah gawd Monday Night Irawny continues!

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Any 1800s Raw tonight?

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Any 1800s Raw tonight?

Why not something different?

 

1700s Raw!

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Face Batista is sucking copious amounts of ballsack as a champ at this point. Cena is smoking him and it's pretty fuckin embarrasing.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Wonder if we'll get Simon/Maven vs Superheroes tonight or if such a high caliber match is being saved for Vengeance (which is like 6 weeks away).

 

Also wondering if we'll get any "Eric Bischoff is mad at the ECW PPV" advancement.

 

An annoucned date for the Draft would be pretty super, too.

[Guest CronoT]

I'm still opposed to Lita turning heel on Kane and teaming with Edge on the grounds that its TOO obvious.

Vince wants to piss Matt Hardy off. What other explanation could there be?