Hoff 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2005 There'll be a little backstage skit, a Richards promo/match, and a Stevens/Brock segment. Put them in that order, with some space between each one. Graci. The scene opens on the locker room of CSI, with one conspicuously absent member. Jay Richards and Jumbo play something on Playstation 2, while Chris Stevens has his Motorola RAZR V3 (that thing is awesome) held to his ear. COLE Folks, Brock Ausstin is not in the CSI locker room. CABOOSE He can't still be mad at Chris, can he? Stevens rolls his eyes, checking his watch as his compatriots mash the buttons. Jay goes on a tear, hitting them repeatedly as Jumbo slumps back in his chair. JAY Aw, HELL YEAH! 23-hit COM-BOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Super Art Finish like a MOTHA! Jumbo throws down his controller as Jay grins like an idiot. JUMBO DAMN! Jay sets his controller on the floor next to his chair and does the SPAGHETTI ARM, dancing like a fool. JAY SHIN SHORYUKEN! You know it, bitch! JUMBO Bull. You wouldn't have had me if I hadn't tried that Hurricane Kick. JAY Ah, but you DID try it, dude! You got SERVED! Jay Cool in the HOUSE-- STEVENS GUYS!! Jay and Jumbo look up at Stevens, who looks none too pleased. After a pause, Stevens slaps his phone shut, turning back to his boys with a peeved expression. STEVENS I can't believe that bastard hasn't called me. Either of you get a hold of him? JUMBO Naw, man. JAY Nah, I was too busy kicking someone's ASS to find him! BOO-YEAH~! Chris takes a seat on a nearby chair. STEVENS JAY!! This is serious. If he's not gonna settle this in a civilized manner, I'm gonna have to call him out. Now...that being said, I need to know where you guys stand. Richards and Jumbo look at each other. JUMBO We're with you, boss. JAY F'real, Chris. We go back, man. And you got me in here. Whatever you think is best, I'm down with it. Stevens looks at Jumbo. STEVENS You too? JUMBO Yeah! Yes. Damn, man. I'm YOUR bodyguard. Stevens takes a calm, cleansing breath. STEVENS Right. The CSI leader rises, nodding. STEVENS All right...I'm gonna take one last look for him. If I can't find him soon, I'm going out there and calling him out. JAY All right, man. Good luck. Stevens shoots Jay an annoyed glance before heading out the door. Jay and Jumbo look at each other. JAY AND JUMBO STREET FIGHTER THREE!!!! The two CSI guys pick up their controllers and turn toward the TV. JUMBO Hey...weren't YOU gonna call someone out tonight? Jay looks up, scratching the beard he doesn't have. JAY Oh yeah....HEY!! Jumbo laughs with glee as the screen flashes bright colors. JUMBO HA!! Fifteen-hit super combo, PUNK! You suck. JAY DAMN! But seriously, man. Let's go do this. JUMBO Right. Jay and Jumbo get up, not bothering to turn the PS2 off. Jumbo throws on his bad-ass biker vest, and Jay slips on his red CSI t-shirt. JAY Man, I love that game... The two men head out the door. COLE Jay Richards and Jumbo are on their way to the ring!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2005 You lie! There is but one segment! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2005 This one works best rolling in from commercial, but it's not necessary. COLE Folks, we're back live on HeldDown, set for more action, but before we begin, we just want to remind everyone that there will be a special encore presentation of the Battlebowl this Sunday night at 8PM Eastern time. CABOOSE Yes, for those of you dying for your Caboose fix, or for those who just missed it, check out all the action live. COACH You get it all: the lottery tag matches, the dream match between Axel and that other company's Batista, and of course, the Battlebowl itself. COLE Catch it all one more time this Sunday! [i]*dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* WHOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO![/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The live crowd jeers mercilessly as from behind the curtain step Jay Richards and Jumbo! The two men taunt the crowd, Jay pointing at himself and telling everyone that he is, indeed, the man. COLE Well here come Jay Richards and Jumbo fresh off of their Playstation session. COACH Jay and Jumbo were the two CSI members not involved with Battlebowl, and I hear that they're pretty steamed up about it! CABOOSE I would be, too, except of course that I was a part of Battlebowl. COLE Good for you, Caboose. CABOOSE You're damn right it is. Jay and Jumbo hit the ring, and Jay asks for a mic as Jumbo yells for the crowd to quiet down. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" JAY Now I know that you people aren't used to seeing such awesome stars up close and in person, but try to keep the noise down for a moment. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" JAY Hey, anyone who can pull off a 23-hit combo does NOT suck. Jumbo hangs his head as Richards looks at him and laughs. JAY But seriously. So all I keep hearing about is this Battlebowl from last Monday. You know, who in the hell decided that thing was such a great idea?! I mean, anyone could have become the #1 contender. Take a guy like Alfdogg. This guy was a joke when he was champion! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The fans have been getting into Alfdogg as of late. JAY Or how about a guy like this...like this Otaku character? I mean, whoa, you're cool, dude! This guy's more boring than TEN Peter Knights! And you know what the worst part is? Jay looks at Jumbo, who shrugs. JAY The worst part is that I wasn't even invited to be a part of it! Me, Jay Richards, the brightest new superstar in this company! How is it that I get overlooked? Josie Baker, consider this strike number three hundred against you. The fans jeer Jay's picking on the frazzled general manager. JAY But enough talk. Hoff and Axel already bored you to death for twenty minutes; now it's time for some action! So anyone in the back who wants a piece of me, come on out!! Jay lowers the mic and looks down the ramp. COLE Is anyone going to answer Jay Richards' challenge? Suddenly, "Unwind" by Weema hits and out walks Mike "The Punisher" Guerriero! COLE It's Mike Guerriero! COACH Who? CABOOSE Any relation to Eddie Guerrero? COLE NO! Mike Guerriero, of Mad Machine! COACH OH!!!!!!!!!!!! Right, he's cool! CABOOSE Wait, now you know who he is all of a sudden? COACH Sometimes words are hard for me. Guerriero, dressed for battle, stands halfway down the ramp. JAY Whoa, hold up, I'm up against Captain Marvel here? Jumbo laughs as Jay runs down the man who answered his challenge. JAY Hey, Dolph Lundgren, cool logo. You gonna head to the comic book store after this? Jay laughs...but Guerriero slides into the ring and ATTAX! Jumbo leaves the ring as the ref calls for the bell! *ding ding ding ding ding* COLE Looks like Mike Guerriero prefers to let his actions do the talking! "The Punisher" unloads on Jay with an assault of right hands! He whips Jay into the ropes and catches him, pressing him overhead and letting him fall to the mat! Jay bounces before rolling to the outside, where he's counselled by Jumbo! In the ring, Guerriero pumps his fist in celebration! COACH Mike Guerriero is ready to fight! CABOOSE I hate everyone in this Mad Machine. They're all so...so... COLE Honorable? CABOOSE YES!!! Jay pats Jumbo on the arm and slides into the ring, and Guerriero allows him to get to his feet. The two men circle, and then come together. Collar and elbow tie up, won by Guerriero, who slaps on a side headlock, but Jay slips free and dropkicks Guerriero in the back! "The Punisher" flies into the ropes, and as he rebounds, Jay monkey flips him over! Jay springs to his feet, then does the SPAGHETTI ARM~ dance as Guerriero recovers. "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CABOOSE What the hell is that dance? COACH Well, he stands there and waves his arms out in front of him like they were spaghetti. DUH! Guerriero charges at the dancing Richards, who ducks under a clothesline and catches a turning Guerriero with a spinwheel kick! Mike hits the mat, and Jay makes a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!! Guerriero gets a shoulder up. Jay rolls off of him and gets to his feet, running the ropes as Guerriero gets up slowly. Jay launches himself with a cross-body, but Guerriero catches him and DROPS him with a falling powerslam! Guerriero lays into a cover! ONE! TWO! THR-NO, as Jay barely gets out! COLE This young kid Guerriero has a lot of power!! Jay could be in trouble!! CABOOSE Master of the 23-hit combo? Nonsense. Guerriero drags Richards up by the hair, and the Punisher grabs him around the waist, but Jay rakes his eyes to break free! The fans boo as the ref warns Jay, but Richards shrugs him off. Jay runs the ropes and catches Guerriero from behind with a facebuster! Guerriero hits the mat and falls onto his back, and Jay hops over the ropes onto the apron! COACH Jay could be looking for that Tornado Moonsault! That is a cool maneuver! Jay leaps, springs off the ropes, and flips backwards, but it's NOBODY HOME as Mike rolls out of the way! The Punisher gets to his feet, grabbing Jay by the hair and pulling him into a standing headscissor position! Guerriero lifts Jay up for a POWERBOMB...but Jay flips backwards and catches Guerriero in a hurricanrana! Jay floats backwards into a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!! Jay slaps the mat in frustration, and the fans start cheering for Guerriero! COLE The crowd trying to will Mike Guerriero back into it! Jay gets up and needlessly shoves the official aside, pulling his foe up by the hair. Jay boots Guerriero in the gut, doubling him over, then jumps onto his neck for a Rocker Dropper...but Guerriero catches him and drops him with a POWERBOMB!! The crowd goes wild!! COLE He caught him with the powerbomb after all! Guerriero pops up, and SLASHES HIS ARMS before pulling Jay to his feet! The crowd gets up as Guerriero hooks Jay for the belly-to-belly...but Jumbo runs in from behind with a chair!! COLE What the hell?!? And Jumbo cracks Guerriero with the chair!! The ref calls for the DQ!! *ding ding ding ding ding* COLE This isn't right! It was a fair fight, and Guerriero was close to putting Jay away! CABOOSE You don't know that, Cole, and neithr do we. The fans jeer as Jay and Jumbo stomp away at Guerriero, but the boos turn to cheers as Mad Machine runs down the aisle! Otaku II, Tony Capella, and Ayane Mitsui slide into the ring, sending Jay and Jumbo scattering! Capella tends to Guerriero as Otaku looks down the ramp at Jay, who does the SPAGHETTI ARM!! CABOOSE I'm already tired of that dance. COLE Well Jay Richards and Jumbo escape by the skin of their teeth tonight, but I doubt that this thing is over! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2005 Telling me how to do my job are we? HUH? DO YOU NOT TRUST ME? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2005 Stevens/Brock confrontation. Whenever. [i]*dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* WHOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! I really wanna know WHOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO![/i] The lights dim as The Who's classic blares, heralding the arrival of one pissed-off Chris Stevens. The fans boo as the scowling star makes his way down the aisle. COLE Well, here comes Chris Stevens, and I guss this means he hasn't gotten hold of Brock Ausstin. COACH This all stems back to the Great Angle Bash, where Stevens kicked his teammate right in the jaw! CABOOSE Stevens told Brock, and all of CSI, to stay in the back, but they couldn't do it. Brock had to get one more piece of Peter Knight, and he paid for it. COLE Nonetheless, most people wouldn't kick their teammate in the jaw. But we've come to understand that there's some tension between Stevens and Brock. Stevens jaws with the crowd as he heads to the ring. Once inside, he asks for a microphone, then turns his attention to the audience. STEVENS By now, everyone knows that CSI is the hottest thing in primetime. So I'm not even gonna bother with that. But just so you all know, we ARE the hottest thing in the world today. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" CABOOSE Always get your plugs in. That's one of the many things I like about Chris. STEVENS Tonight isn't about that, though. It's about one man; a malcontent by the name of Brock Ausstin. Brock, I know you're here tonight, so why don't you quit hiding and be a man. COLE Whoa-ho!! The lights dim, and PUNISHMENT kicks in to a pretty good pop! COLE And here comes the monster! The spotlights shine as BROCK AUSSTIN emerges! Wearing a black T-shirt and sweats, Brock does the HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~ before walking down the aisle. Brock looks at Chris, who stares back in anger. Brock hits the ring, and Chris offers him his mic. Stevens looks at Brock with his arms crossed. COACH What's Brock gonna say? CABOOSE He better apologize. BROCK Chris....you want to call me out? We can do this thing right now if you want. "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" BROCK But I don't think you want to do that. You know how powerful I am, and in the condition you're in, you don't wanna fight right now. Stevens, still taped up from two weeks prior, simply stares Brock down as the hoss laughs. BROCK Chris, you know why I joined you and CSI. You told me I could be the star I always shoulda been. You said you'd show the world Brock Ausstin. And yet I haven't been in one high profile match? Where's my spotlight, Chris? So far, CSI is nothing but a platform for you. Stevens raises his mic. STEVENS Now Brock, these things take time... BROCK Bull****! You've got all the attention! Now Chris, you wanna be pissed at me for interfering in your match? Fine. As long as I'm in CSI, you're the man in charge. But you better get me some big matches, or you're gonna end up like my last boss -- Rick Heyross. The crowd "oohs" at the memory of what Brock did to his former agent, and Chris takes a little gulp, before setting his jaw and stepping up to his teammate. STEVENS All right, Brock. You'll get the shots YOU deserve. But just give me a little time. Soon, all the world will respect -- and fear -- the name "Brock Ausstin." Stevens gestures as he says the name, as if the words were on a marquee. Brock looks over at Stevens with a smile... BROCK You better. Soon. Brock pats Chris on the shoulder, and "PUNISHMENT" kicks in as Brock heads out the ropes, hopping onto the floor and leaving Stevens in the ring. COLE So Brock is with CSI...sort of! CABOOSE Well, he's not happy. I say he's an ingrate. COACH He just wants his due, I feel him. CABOOSE You WOULD feel him. COACH HOLLA~! COLE In any event, Brock Ausstin and Chris Stevens still not together, and Chris Stevens looks none too pleased! In the ring, the CSI leader looks at Brock's back, sighing before leaving the ring himself. COLE What else could happen tonight?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2005 *insert snide NGA comment here* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2005 That was deep. Real deep. ... You suck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
