Toxxic 0 Report post Posted October 22, 2005 "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The South Dakota crowd go absolutely ballistic as "Megalomaniac" by Incubus hits, causing The Suicide King to looooosseee his miiiinndd and the sound of people not loathing Landon Maddix. Which they don't. For this is South Dakota. And in the absence of any actual famous people, Landon Maddix gets booming, hometown hero reception as he walks through the entrance way and makes a walk towards the ring. Pete: "Welcome back to Storm, live from BIZARRO WOOORRRLLLDD~! as here comes the most popular man in the SWF for the night, Landon Maddix." King: "Man, I knew this place was a sorry excuse for a state. But when your proudest product is Landon Maddix, you make Arkansas look like the cultural capital of the world." Maddix, caught up in a wave of happiness, jogs the rest of the way to the ring and slides in. The crowd continue to applaud, woot, holler and so forth, as Maddix takes the microphone from Funyon. Turning to the crowd, he waits for some semblance of quiet from his home-state faithful. Which doesn't come quickly. After all, when was the last time the SWF was in South Dakota. Hell, even the SJL didn't go there. Damn elitists. "Well...I've gotta say, usually I hate you stupid fans..." "BOOOOO?" shouts one fan in the fourth row. "But, it's really good to know that you people really did pay your hard earned money purely to see me." "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" King: "This is all a dream, right? A really, really horrible dream, right?" Pete: "Afraid not." "Because, it's going to prove a point I'd like to make. Now, you may have noticed that I'm not in my gear tonight. Which is because the suits...the braintrusts on the booking commitee decided to leave YOUR home-state hero, Landon Maddix, off tonight's show!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "The idiots neglect this state and book one show here every other decade, seemingly. And when they finally do bring the SWF to South Dakota, they forget to give me a match? That's ridículo! And just another example of the disrespect shown to me by all quarters of the SWF! From the top to the bottom. Which is why I'm out here. Because STILL, after all this time, TKO are walking around with the World Tag Team Championships around their waists. Nobody has lifted a finger to help Cucaracha Internacional. And I'm sick of it. You people should be seeing Landon Maddix, World Tag Team Champion, in action tonight!" King: "That's argueable." "That's not going to happen." admits Maddix. "But, seeing as I'm not involved in a match tonight, I can finally focus on getting back what's rightfully mine. Chris Card...when I think of the troubles you've caused me over the years, one thing over everything bugs me. Even after keeping me away from the World Title for so long. Even after stealing my Tag Titles. Even after your hired help crushed my limousine. Even after all that...all I've been able to do to you is one thing. One punch. All I've gotten out of you is one, measly punch. So Chris, if you're not too busy working out green cards for your next managerial venture, how about we change all that. I've got nothing to do. And I've got no match tonight. There's nothing - nothing - to stop me from CALLING.. YOU.. OUT!" The crowd pop, as Maddix turns to the entrance way and beckons on Card to come out. Nothing happens though, the waiting continuing on for a little while before Maddix finally goes to speak again...but gets cut off, as here comes Card finally. Pete: "Uh-oh. Here comes Card and we've got a very, very hostile situation on our hands on Storm!" King: "This kid doesn't know what he's getting into." Striding down the aisle, Chris Card rolls up the sleeves on his typically expensive suit and he's ready to go. So too is Maddix, tossing down the microphone and dropping into a fighting stance. "LAN - DON!" "LAN - DON!" "LAN - DON!" "LAN - DON!" The crowd rally behind their South Dakota boy, as Card reaches the ring, straightening his tie before climbing to the apron. Maddix and Card are now face to face, but for some reason, Maddix is backing off. Some of the fans are booing now at this sudden cowardice from Maddix. But they're soon cheering again, as Chris Card suddenly crashes off the apron and lands face-first on the edge of the ring... ...courtesy of JJ JOHNSON!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Pete: "It was a trap! A Cucaracha Internacional trap!" King: "And these IDIOTS are cheering it!!" As Maddix laughs hysterically in the ring, JJ pulls Chris Card to his feet and hurls him into the ring. Quick as a flash, Maddix is right on Card with stomps, JJ rolling in moments later and putting the boots to Card as well! And amazingly, the fans are still going wild. Suddenly though, Maddix points frantically to the entrance way, as here come TKO!! Maddix and Johnson quickly bail out of the ring and head for higher ground, just as TKO roll into the ring to check on their manager. Pete: "Man, it's lucky for Card that his boys were watching the monitors, otherwise he was in big trouble there." Furious, TORU leans over the ropes and gives Cucaracha Internacional the double bird, while KOJI checks on Card still. Meanwhile, in the aisle, Maddix is whispering something to JJ Johnson. Johnson looks confused, but Maddix whispers to him again and JJ nods. And then, for some reason, he turns and starts to walk back towards the ring! Pete: "Wait a minute, wait a minute...JJ Johnson isn't done yet." King: "He soon will be, because Maddix sure as hell is! Look, he's just letting his partner go after TKO alone!" Climbing up the ring steps furthest from TKO, JJ enters the ring defiantely. TKO eventually notice him and turn to meet him, surprised seemingly that JJ is brave enough to be in the ring alone with them. Even more surprised, when JJ actually dares them on! Shrugging, TORU turns to KOJI and points at JJ while conversing in Japanese...and after the two agree on what to do, they quickly remove their trenchcoats, glasses, title belts and the like. TKO then begin to advance. Which prompts JJ to back up a little, realising what he's getting himself into... Pete: "Watch Maddix from behind!" Sneakily, Maddix is sliding in behind TKO now. And with no Card to warn them, TKO don't see Maddix creeping up behind, reeling back and... ...GRABBING THE TAG TITLES, BEFORE ESCAPING WITH HIS LIFE!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Pete: "Maddix got the belts! Maddix got the belts..." King: "And look at him run!" Maddix escapes down the aisle, JJ Johnson bailing out too and joining him. At first, TKO are too pissed off at the lack of a fight to notice their missing belts. But eventually, as they pick their coats back up, they notice the belts are gone...and are now clutched to an ecstatic La Cucaracha's chest! *ahem* The sound of a cleared throat rings out over the PA system and the jubilant Cucaracha Internacional look around to see Chris Card dusting himself off with a microphone in his hand. Strangely enough, Technical Perfection doesn’t seem that annoyed. Card: “Landon, Landon, Landon… you still hit like a girl.” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Card: “But that aside, it’s almost touching how naïve and simple you are, even after stabbing your best friend in the back and trying to steal his girlfriend from him. Landon, did you really think that I didn’t know you’d call me out in your home state, in the vain hope that having some morons cheering you on would give you the talent or the brainpower to take me on?” King: “He has a point. For all his faults Card is still a smart man, and Landon is boringly predictable.” Landon is still grinning however, and he raises his rightful Tag Title belt over his head to prove that he’s come out on top. Chris Card seems to have other ideas though. Card: “Ah yes, the SWF Tag Title belts. Tell me Landon, do they feel like you expected? Just as good as you thought? Or maybe a little… lacking?” For the first time doubt seems to be crossing Landon’s face as the Tag Champion lowers the belt and begins looking at it. Meanwhile JJ Johnson has already realised something is up and is urgently tapping his leader on the shoulder… Card: “That’s right, Landon. Did you think TORU and KOJI would be stupid enough to bring the real SWF Tag Title belts out to the ring for you to steal in such an obvious set-up? No, what you are currently holding is an official SWF replica title belt, freshly ordered from SWF ShopZone. And that, Landon, is the only sort of title you are worthy of holding!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Landon and JJ Johnson have just found the ‘$20’ price tags on their new belts, while TKO and Chris Card laugh at them from the ring. Card: “Landon, there’s really only one thing left to do, so please allow TKO to give you a proper homecoming welcome…” With that Card drops the microphone, and all three men in the ring give La Cucaracha the double middle-finger! King: “Now see Longdogger, that’s actually quite funny. Given a couple more years of humiliating Landon Maddix, I could almost grow to like Chris Card again.” Pete: “Lord forbid. Don’t go away fans, we’ll be back right after this!” FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
