A different take on WrestleMania

[Guest Dam(o)nYankees]

I think the most hilarious thing is that Promoter, who has been trumpeting this match and the Cena title reign (based on Cena's non-existant cross over success) probably posted this as a way to turn people to his side, and when it was shit on, immediately agrees that it was a mess.

[SuperJerk 0]

Guys, I stole this from another website's forum, but damn if it wasn't interesting.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

The sledgehammer

 

So here's the thing, really. I don't much care how much money the WWE makes. If anything, it seems McMahon is good enough at crunching numbers that it should never really matter to the average fan how profitable things are in the industry. The concern should just be that it stays in business, and like I said, it seems he's good enough at the number crunching that this would never be a problem.

 

Hell, when the dude starts making too much money, he just tends to blow it on football franchises, bodybuilding pay-per-views, b-grade action movies, and maybe a tanning session or two anyway. Point being I don't like to cheer for the money. It's not my job. I'm not a shareholder.

 

Right, so I just felt the need to get that out of the way because for some reason, it seems like too many conversations about wrestling devolve into the money thing and I could ultimately care less. I've been watching since I was 12. That was when the first Mania happened and all the kids at school were running around doing high knees, body slams, and leg drops to each other in the halls for fun. Everybody knew it was fake. The old fuddy duddy pre-baby boom teachers would grumble that "it's all fake" and we'd be like, yeah, so... what's your point.

 

I remember the first time I really got met with the whole "why do you watch this shit" question. My best friend was over a few years back, 2002, and he hit me with it. I said, "watch this," because the Triple H-Steph renewal of the vows thing was being staged at that moment. He watched the whole thing. "Pedigree" I laughed, a few seconds before he drove his wife's face into the floor to a roar of approval from the crowd. He kept turning his head from the screen, laughing, looking back, laughing some more. "I've never seen anything like that," he laughed afterward. Now he knew why I watched this shit.

 

OK... ranting around in circles here but I have a point. I don't give a shit about the money, first of all. As long as the show is on. There really is nothing else like this. Also, I've started to question how much McMahon himself cares about the money. I mean... there's the myth among fans that if we cheer or boo a certain way McMahon will have to listen because we're the ones that pay him to stay in business. This is true to a certain extent, but for the most part, he's always just kind of done what he wanted to do anyway and turned his mental power toward finding a way to make whatever he was doing marketable enough to keep going. That's the grapefruits thing. The fact it's turned his little family business into a publicly traded mini media empire is fucking astounding, and more than enough reason to give the dude his due.

 

I guess what I'm saying is I don't understand the mass amounts of criticism that get heaved at him. That's the main point of this whole post, but I'm trying to work my way to a lucid state with the thought.

 

See, I'm gonna say something so outlandish here most of you will feel compelled to throw insults my way. That's fine. My hope is one or two people will want to have a good conversation about the subject and we can just ignore the sophomores. Here it is...

 

Vince McMahon is our era's William Shakespeare.

 

Now to set the stage, I've slept in gutters, roomed with psychopaths, got drunk with ceo's, jumped off cliffs, lived in churches, had sex with angels, and along the way I've managed to study a bit of academic intelligence also. One of the things I've learned is that there was once a dude named Shakespeare who ran a little theater company in England. He specialized in churning out lowest common denominator plays that the majority of his culture considered crass, low brow, colloquial shit. Mainstream critics of his day wouldn't give him much thought. He was for the common man. Some hack who stole his material from working class mythology of the time.

 

Make matters worse, turns out there wasn't even one guy doing the whole thing. All those plays written by William Shakespeare were nothing more than plays written under the cooperation of William Shakespeare's little working class theater company. Hell, some of the actors probably even came up with their own shit to say. It was a whole lot of 15th century British slang, which is why uppities get scholarships to study the man's genius these days.

 

Imagine it'll be the same thing in a few hundred years when they start trying to figure out what guys like Guerro and Flair and Cena, much less Warrior and Triple H and Hogan were saying in their promos. A whole forgotten language immortalized in the theatrics of this century's crass, low brow, colloquial shit for the common man that gets snubbed by mainstream critics if considered at all in the first place. Fuck 'em, I say. They get paid to watch TV and talk about it, and they think they're better than anybody else? Fuck 'em because I work for a living and wrestling speaks to me, speaks my language, tells my stories, and entertains the shit out of me.

 

I've been in fights, gotten fired from jobs, watched friends fall, had chicks slap me across the face, and while it's thankfully not a daily practice of mine to get hit in the head with a steel chair, anybody who's been in that office with corporate america the day they tell you your services are no longer needed knows exactly what it must feel like to get hit in the head with a steel chair, thrown off the top of a cage through a table, or pummeled by some evil rich fuck with a sledgehammer.

 

That's my point, basically. Wrestling might be fake as a sport, over the top as entertainment, but it's the most real thing I've found on TV, not that I watch a lot of TV, but comparing it to yuppified melodramatic crap like Lost or Invasion or ER... you get the point. Hopefully.

 

Right, so one more thing to illustrate my point and then I'm out... the current story that's got smarky smarks all bunching up in the panties is this John Cena vs. Triple H match on a crash course with inevitability this Mania. Think about it... just for a second... this isn't the NWA, or AWA, or even TNA, or ECW. There's no pretense in the WWE that this is a real sport. Vince has always called what he did theater, his wrestlers characters, and his ring a stage. It happens to be a show about a fight, but that's the hook. It's the metaphor we dig. We understand what it's like to be in a fight in life, or we wouldn't bother watching. Wrestling gives us what the old Greek Aristotle talked about when he philosophized on theater and talked about the purging of intense emotions leading to catharsis. Gooey ten cent words and shit.

 

Point is, John Cena is this character, this everyday thug who fights for the people, and now those people have turned on him. OMGZ BUSINESS IS GOING INTO THE SHITTER! Heh. K... Ratings are up. Anyway. They spent the last year feuding him with the two most popular tweeners on the roster in Jericho and Angle. They had to know... I'm just saying they had to know what was going to happen, and where they are now has to be the destination they were going for. Why? Because his name is John Cena for fuck's sake. Hasn't clicked for you yet? Just shorten it up to the initials. Then throw in his hip hop catchphrases like "Word Life" and "The Time is Now" and hopefully you'll see the point of all this without having to be hit over the head with a sledgehammer. I'll point out this. Kids love him.

 

Anyway... the guy they're setting him up for is Triple H. King of Kings. Master manipulator. Plays the Game. Do a little research on what his name means in occult sciences and you'll see how we as fans have been under his evil control for almost a decade now. He's the motherfucking antichrist.

 

The genius of the story is in how they've turned the fans just in time for the climax. At Mania in Chicago, the antichrist will step in the ring with an everyday jabroni, initials JC, loved by kids but turned on by those he's the most like, and the thing is gonna be riotous. The antichrist will probably be heavily cheered, and will probably win the match, and will probably show up on TV the next night with that awesome evil smile on his face and the belt slung over his shoulder while he growls "Look what you just cheered for."

 

Will it make money? Probably, but I don't give a shit. I'm just here to enjoy the ride. That's my point. Not sure what I'm expecting in response... like I said... expecting lame insults clever to the beholder, and hoping for some decent conversation. I've typed more than enough, though.

 

Sorry bout the wind.

 

 

This is just a really, really strange post. I have no further comments.

[Promoter 0]

I think the most hilarious thing is that Promoter, who has been trumpeting this match and the Cena title reign (based on Cena's non-existant cross over success) probably posted this as a way to turn people to his side, and when it was shit on, immediately agrees that it was a mess.

 

Where did I say I posted this to turn people on my side? I posted it because it was funny and ironic that this forum made jokes in other threads about HHH calling himself King of Kings and the topic about saving WrestleMania proclaimed in one response that Jesus was already in the main event. Then I saw this post at another site and posted it here. I don't need anyone to turn on my side about Cena/HHH at Mania. The match is going to happen no matter what anyone thinks. I just tend to disagree with others that HHH/Cena is THAT bad and Cena's reign is THAT bad. I have seen a lot worse watching wrestling over the years and I also see WHY the wwe may think the way they do about having a hard on for this match. It's that simple really.