Kotzenjunge's Roommate Application Thread.

[Zack Malibu 0]

Chave and I will be overseeing the application process. Please answer any questions asked in a completely honest fashion. If you seem uncomfortable or unsure of your answer, a background check (perfectly legal in the application process) could result.

 

First applicant?

[Zack Malibu 0]

Your Paragon Of Virtue has been here for a while. Thinking about it, perhaps?

 

Kotz, we may have a live one for ya!

[Zack Malibu 0]

Fook, you've been here a while too. What makes you think you'd be a good roommate for Kotz? Would you make him breakfast on even-numbered days, and rub his shoulders after work?

[Carnival 0]

I'd be a bad roomate. I'd murder him.

[Zack Malibu 0]

Because of the techno music?

[Carnival 0]

No, just out of hatred.

[k thx 0]

You're still in the lead.

 

Kotz needs the money more than security.

 

Besides, he could take you in a fight.

[Zack Malibu 0]

There's another roommate too. You could always pin it on him.

[Carnival 0]

He so could NOT take me. I'm 100% confident.

[Guest StylesMark]

I think I could be a perfect fit.

 

StylesMark wakes burying his head under a pillow trying to sleep. He keeps awakening to the sound of annoying techno beats.

 

"What the FUCK is that NOISE?!"

 

(in the backround, strange music can be heard) "Come on baby, do the locamotion..."

[Zorin Industries 0]

If not for the fact I live in an entirely differnet country, I would nominate myself. What the hell I will anyway

[Zack Malibu 0]

StylesMark, are you willing to mow the lawn and trim the shrubs?

[Guest StylesMark]

I have no problem with the lawn. But Kotz has to take care of his shrubs.

 

Motherfucker better not try to steal my weed either. Niggas have gotten killed for their Jordans, you know.

[Zack Malibu 0]

StylesMark, how would you handle it if someone did in fact, still your weed? Will your fellow roomies be dealing with a loose cannon, or a man of reason?

 

Zorin Industries, would you be willing to accompany Kotz around town as his heterosexual lifemate, and perhaps read him interesting news articles as he brushes his teeth in the morning?

[Guest StylesMark]

It depends. Am I waking up to my weed being blatantly stolen? Is there at least money instead of weed? Or does he try to blow me in my sleep for a dime bag? I think the situation may call for tough love. It's apparent that nobody has ever really loved him before, so maybe that's what he needs.

[Zorin Industries 0]

Only if he is prepared to do the same for me

[Zack Malibu 0]

Good answer, Zorin. Patrick will appreciate that.

 

StylesMark, it depends. Sometimes he may be too drunk to leave money. Sometimes, he'll take the term "dimebag" too literally and leave you whatever spare change is left from his night at Studio 54. I don't think any blowing will be involved, but I'm not sure of the sexual orientation of the third party involved.

[Guest StylesMark]

Is this third party already an ESTABLISHED~ mate of Kotz??

 

I'll stick with my tough love answer. I really do believe that the boy has yet to be loved. He longs for that eternal light, or flame if you will that he has been seeking throughout his confused life. He has chosen to replace this light, with glowsticks. I'll show him, that love isn't something you take out of bag, crack, then place in a freezer three hours later in an attempt to hold onto it as long as possible.

 

And if the motherfucker leaves me change, I'll quite possibly fuck any girl he's interested in.

[Zack Malibu 0]

I'm not sure if the third party is ESTABLISHED~! as of this moment.

 

And that quote about love is quite possibly the best thing I've read all day. That's Hallmark quality, kids.

 

Oh, and as for that last part, paging Ms. Minogue.

[Carnival 0]

I am a member of the Third ESTABLISHMENT~!

 

just ask chave

[Guest StylesMark]

So, how much is rent? Does Kotz cook for me wearing NOTHING but an apron?

[k thx 0]

I think I could be a perfect fit.

 

StylesMark wakes burying his head under a pillow trying to sleep. He keeps awakening to the sound of annoying techno beats.

 

"What the FUCK is that NOISE?!"

 

(in the backround, strange music can be heard) "Come on baby, do the locamotion..."

Since when is "do The Locomotion" techno?

[Zack Malibu 0]

There's a techno remix for everything these days.

[k thx 0]

Not "Baby It's You" by The Shirelles.

[Guest StylesMark]

While I've never heard it, I'm quite sure Ms. Minogue has a techno version of that song. Ask Kotz to hook you up with it on Bear Share.

[Zack Malibu 0]

Care Bear Stare?

[Guest StylesMark]

Nah, Kotz is beyond Care Bear Repair.

[Zorin Industries 0]

When does Kotz come and validate the process?

[Murmuring Beast 0]

POSTING CLIQUES ARE VERY GAY

 

SELF-AWARE FASHIONABLY IRONIC POSTING CLIQUES ARE GAYER STILL

[Guest StylesMark]

No, we don't need Kotz's validation for this. He has no say.