Battleground Losing Matchery

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

So, yeah. Feedback, if anyone can force their way through it. Pelicans? Hell yes, pelicans!

 

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As yet another video package for JJ Johnson vs. Landon Maddix fades to black on the SmarkTron, Edwin Starr's "War" blares through Alltel Stadium, but it can barely be heard over the cries of "Me so horny. Me love you long time. Sucky-sucky, five dollah" coming from around the ring.

 

"You know, I'm really surprised at how quickly the ring was cleaned up," Mak notes.

 

"Well, when you threaten the swine with beatings, it really improves the work rate," King points out.

 

"True, but, still, Bruce Blank and Insane Luchador nearly killed each other. I just hope things don't repeat with this next match."

 

"Yeah. It's odd that this one has been overshadowed by Blank versus Luchador and Spike versus Zyon. I mean, Wildchild and Jimmy the Doom flat-out hate each other, and yet, they aren't given free reign to go at it. They've got to duke it out in a straight singles match, but, it is for Wildchild's International title," King states.

 

"I see the lack of a stipulation to be a precautionary measure. Joseph Peters probably wants to keep the extreme displays of violence at a minimum. And, of course, the reason being for the title match is that Jimmy defeated Kevin Coyote last week on Smarkdown, an impressive feat when you consider that Wildchild was the special guest referee. Somehow, Wildchild managed to control his emotions and didn't really showcase his hostility towards Doom, so tonight, they will hopefully end their aggression and we won't have to worry about what either man will do to each other before or after shows," Mak adds.

 

"Speaking of Coyote, bit of a tough break for him. He loses on Smarkdown, and then doesn't even get booked for Battleground."

 

"Tough break? That supposed to be some sort of joke?" Francis asks.

 

"Oh, not really, but now that you point it out, I'll try to make fun of your condition a bit more. Will Jimmy the Doom be able to snap Wildchild's reign as International champion?"

 

"Screw you, King."

 

Before anything else can be said, the lights drop out of the stadium, and the heavy thump of many feet marching in unison rings out, along with a single word, chanted over and over.

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

The chanting and footfalls cease, and the lights snap back on, revealing druids stretching from the ring up to the entranceway. Boots Randolph's "Yaket Sax" sounds out over the speakers, prompting the arrival of the Straight-Breader himself, Jimmy the Doom. The Doomtopian walks down the ramp, an orange traffic cone perched on his cranium, and Lois the Unethical, as always, three steps behind, as is any woman's place.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the Smartmark's Wrestling Federation International Title! Introducing first, being accompanied by Lois the Unethical, he is from Doomopolis, Doomtopia, and weighed in tonight at two hundred, twenty-five pounds. The Straight-Bread Sensation, JIIMMEEEE THE DOOOOOM!" Funyon bellows.

 

The Doomtopian walks down the ramp, stops at the ring, and removes his cone. Jimmy slides into the ring, while Lois walks away from the ramp, knowing it wouldn't be wise to stand between the Straight-Breader and Wildchild. The instrumental delight of "Yakety Sax" fades out and is replaced with the far more contemporary and entertaining "Bouncin' Back" by Mystikal. Melissa Fasaki and Wildchild head down the ramp, championship belt slung on the Tropical Tumbler's right shoulder.

 

"And his opponent, accompanied by Melissa Fasaki, he hails from Morgan's Bluff, Andros, Commonwealth of the Bahamas, and weighs two hundred, fourteen pounds. The current International champion, the Bahama Bomber, WIIIILDCHIIILD!" Funyon shouts.

 

Arms outstretched to take in the cheers from the fans, Wildchild accidentally bumps into a druid, knocking the anonymous man into the smoldering husk of a shack, setting him ablaze. Undaunted, the champion gets to the ring and slips off his shin guards. Jimmy the Doom leans over the top rope, pointing at the Bahaman, and gesturing that the title will soon be his. Referee Paul Pugliese acts fast and pulls Doom away from the ropes, allowing the Human Hurricane to vault inside. Wildchild raises the title above his head, while Doom tries to close in on the champion, but is held back by Pugliese. The Tropical Tumbler drops the belt and heads for the Straight-Breader, eager to begin the match.

 

"Man, things are getting very heated before the bell. I hope the referee can keep control of those two," Mak comments.

 

"And I hope he can't. I want to see these two tear each other limb from limb. Not for any sadistic pleasure I might gain from it, but mostly because I think that both of them are major dorks," King replies.

 

"Speaking of which, I heard some rumors that Doom hoped this match would be fought under hardcore rules so that he could envoke Wildchild's infamous Blood Frenzy, as it would be more of a challenge for the tough Doom," Francis adds.

 

"That certainly would be something to see. So would you walking ever again."

 

"You're a fucking dick, do you know that, King?"

 

As the tension mounts at the commentator's table, it's nearly boiling over inside the ring, and the ref decides to call for the bell.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

"And we are underway!" Mak shouts.

 

As is his nature, Jimmy walks straight for Wildchild, but gets popped with a swift jab. Doom brushes it off, and nails the champion with a shotei. The Straight-Breader throws another pawing hand in the Bahaman's face, keeping Wildchild out of range. This would matter if Wildchild was slow, but Wildchild is far from it, and the speedster ducks under and peppers the Doomtopian with a trifecta of blows to the stomach. Wildchild quickly hops back out of range, leaving Jimmy to swing at thin air ('Thin air', of course, a term coined by Sir Thomas Meckwidthe, Duke of Havershire, in 1823, after he purported that peasants were malnourished because the air they breathed was lacking in substance. The upper-class, being better in every conceivable way, was entitled to the more substantial portion of the air. In fact, according to Meckwidthe, any peasent thought to be breathing upper-class air could be executed). The Caribbean Cruiser snaps off a kick to Doom's left leg, spins around, and brains him with a back elbow. Once more, the International champ scurries back to a safe distance after the assault, leaving Doom frustrated and humiliated at his inability to hit Wildchild. The Bahama Bomber feints a punch, then races for the ropes. He leaps onto the middle strand and flies backwards, slamming a knee into the Doomtopian's jaw.

 

SYLLABICATE!

 

The Straight-Bread Sensation takes a few steps backwards, but quickly composes himself and fires off a kick for Wildchild's head. The Tropical Tumbler drops to the mat, avoding the blow, but in doing so, opens himself up for Doom to blast him with a headbutt, which is exactly what happens. Jimmy slaps on a front facelock, and begins driving knees into the top of Wildchild's head.

 

"If Jimmy the Doom can keep this up, this match will be over quickly. Grinding it out on the mat is not how Wildchild likes to fight," Mak notes.

 

"True, but neither does Jimmy the Doom. He likes to stand up and kick a person's teeth out, while keeping his teeth firmly inside his own mouth," King points out.

 

"Yeah, he can really take a lot of punishment, but with both men standing, Wildchild can just stick and move, preventing Jimmy from even getting close to touching him," Mak states.

 

Wildchild manages to snare an incoming Doomtopian knee, hold on to it, and climbs up to his knees. The Tropical Tumbler yanks back, breaking the facelock, and putting Jimmy on his ass. The champion jumps, slaps on a headscissors, and takes Doom flat on the mat. Pugliese slides over to see if Doom wishes to submit, and is promptly waved off. Jimmy sits up, grabs Wildchild's feet, pulls them apart, and then clambers up. The Bahama Bomber kips up, but gets nailed with a palm to the face. Doom lands a second shotei, but a wheel kick prevents him from even throwing a third. Wildchild rushes the Doomtopian and plants both feet in his chest. The Human Hurricane wraps both arms around Jimmy's head, but the Straight-Breader grabs hold of Wildchild's singlet, blocking the monkey flip. Jimmy slowly inches his right hand towards Wildchild's throat while the other firmly grips the singlet, but the Caribbean Cruiser throws his legs up and across Doom's shoulders, locking on another headscissors. With a quick tug, Wildchild flips Doom to the mat.

 

"Nice sequence of reversals there. Wildchild going for a monkey flip, blocked by Doom, who looked to be going for a Jimmy Bomb, but Wildchild saw it coming and countered with a nice hurricanrana," Mak says.

 

"I liked that headscissors Wildchild had on earlier. It's the right idea, trying to get Doom to go to sleep, but it's just tough. I wouldn't be surprised if it took two Wild Rides to keep Jimmy the Doom down on the canvas," King adds.

 

Wildchild kips back to his feet, and Jimmy is standing moments later. Doom snaps off a roundhouse, but Wildchild easily dodges, and fires off a gamengiri, catching Jimmy flush on the mouth.

 

TRIPTYCH!

 

The International champion circles behind the Doomtopian, and dashes for the ropes. Before Doom can begin to ponder the whereabouts of his opponent, Wildchild grabs Jimmy by the back of the head and flips over the Straight-Bread Sensation, driving him into the mat. Wildchild flips and twists, coming down laterally on top of Doom with an elbow to the head and a knee to the spine. The Human Hurricane bounds to his feet and hops to the top turnbuckle. Jimmy recovers quickly, rises, and turns to face Wildchild, who jumps off the top rope, hitting Doom square in the chest with a dropkick.

 

"Shooting Star Dropkick from Wildchild! That Whiplash a few seconds earlier looked very nice, too," Francis states.

 

"I guess it could be said that you've got a very bad case of whiplash," King chuckles.

 

"I really hate you."

 

"And I really love walking. My legs are awesome!" King exclaims.

 

Wildchild gets back up, only to find Doom on his feet as well. Cursing under his breath, the Bahama Bomber heads for the ropes yet again. Wildchild jumps onto the middle rope, bounces to the top, and springs towards Doom, catching him with a front facelock. The champ pulls Jimmy around and down to the mat with a tornado DDT. Wildchild shoves Doom away and kips up. He doesn't remain standing for long, though, as the Tropical Tumbler flips forward to land on Doom's chest with all of his body weight. Wildchild stays down and hooks a leg as Paul Pugliese slides in to count the pin.

 

ONE-No!

 

"Not even a one count for Wildchild! How can he possibly hope to keep Jimmy the Doom down for a three count?" Mak questions.

 

"I'm honestly not sure. Dumping him on his head would be the obvious answer, but I've seen it been tried with little effect. I swear, that moron is some kind of crappy cyborg," King says.

 

"The buck-fifty man?" Francis inquires.

 

"If that. Ninety-seven cent man."

 

The Human Hurricane gets up to his feet and waits on Doom to do the same. Wildchild doesn't have to wait long, and the second Jimmy is back to a vertical base, the Straight-Bread Sensation gets nailed with a CALL ME NOW FOR YA FREE READIN' (LEG) LARIATOOOOO!

 

DERMATITIS!

 

Doom remains on his feet, though, so the Caribbean Cruiser decides to turn things up a notch. He sprints for the ropes, springs to the top strand, curls up, and flies back towards Jimmy. The Bahama Bomber collides with Jimmy, but the Doomtopian stands firm. Wildchild, on the otherhand, is looking up at Doom from the mat after the collision. Doom goes to stomp the Human Hurricane, but Wildchild scissors the raised leg, and drawing on his nonexistant breakdancing training, spins on his back, tripping Jimmy to the canvas.

 

"It looks like Wildchild has a leglock on Jimmy the Doom! I know he recently added the Figure Four to his repetoire, but I'm not sure how versed he is in other leg-based submissions," Francis points out.

 

"It might not matter all that much, Mak. Wildchild has some strong legs, so the vicelike grip, perhaps not enough to force a submission, will cause some damage. However, Jimmy the Doom has strong legs, too, as his kicks have some sting, so this might be a futile attempt on Wildchild's part, especially when you factor in Doom's amazing threshold for pain," King notes.

 

Wildchild quickly abandons the scissorlock in order to manuever the hold into a single leg crab, but, much like a similarly handicapped crustacean, the hold is useless, as Doom lashes out with a kick to the back of Wildchild's left knee, knocking the International champion to the mat. Jimmy tries to roll over and make a cover, but Wildchild scrambles away from the Doomtopian and up to his feet. The Straight-Breader rises up, and his field of vision is instantly filled with a Bahaman leg, as the Tropical Tumbler nails Jimmy with a FINE CALYPSO WOMAN, SHE COOK ME SHRIMP AND RICE (LEG) LARIATOOOOO!

 

FARINACEOUS!

 

Doom stumbles, but remains standing from the blow. Wildchild kips back up to his feet, does a cartwheel to get in front of Jimmy, and then performs a back handspring, nailing the Doomtopian with an elbow smash to the jaw. The Straight-Bread Sensation staggers backwards, and the International champion gives chase, hitting Doom with a flying forearm. Jimmy bounces into the ropes and hangs on to stop himself from falling to the mat. Wildchild charges the Doomtopian and knocks him over the top rope with a dropkick. Luckily for Doom, he simply falls on the apron. Unluckily for Doom, that puts him in position to receive a springboard DDT to the arena floor, which he does.

 

"That should definitely slow Jimmy the Doom down a bit!" Mak shouts.

 

"A little bit," King retorts. "Doom probably still has a lot left in the tank."

 

Wildchild climbs up and slides inside the ring, leaving referee Paul Pugliese to start counting out Jimmy.

 

One!

 

Two!

 

The Human Hurricane speeds for the opposite set of ropes, streaks back towards the rising Doom, and leaps between the middle and bottom ropes, driving his skull into the Straight-Bread Sensation's jaw, and knocking Jimmy into the guard rail.

 

"What a suicide dive! Wildchild looked like a bullet! Now that ought to take a lot out of Jimmy the Doom," Mak says.

 

"Yes, but I bet it took a lot out of Wildchild, too," King points out.

 

Pugliese restarts the count, as the possibility of a double count-out (And a crappy ending) now exists.

 

One!

 

Wildchild rolls away from Doom.

 

Two!

 

The Human Hurricane stumbles up to his feet and leans against the ring.

 

Three!

 

Jimmy uses the guard rail to pull himself up.

 

Four!

 

Wildchild slides into the ring, leaving the Doomtopian as the only one that can be counted out now.

 

Five!

 

Jimmy heads for the ring while the International champ leaps onto the top rope and sprints across it.

 

Six!

 

Wildchild reaches the corner and leaps for Doom, curling into a ball and smacking Jimmy in the torso. This, of course, forces Pugliese to start the count anew.

 

"Andros Dive into a Pinball! That's simply incredible!" Francis yells.

 

"You only think that because you can't even hop," King points out.

 

"I'm going to kick your ass," Mak replies through gritted teeth.

 

"That would require being able to use your legs," King notes.

 

"Die."

 

"What are you going to do then? Dance on my grave?" inquires the Heartbreaker.

 

One!

 

Wildchild drags himself away from Doom.

 

Two!

 

The International champion crawls towards the ring steps.

 

Three!

 

Jimmy the Doom reaches up and grabs hold of the ring skirting.

 

Four!

 

The Bahama Bomber pulls himself onto the bottom step.

 

Five!

 

Wildchild gets on the second step, while the Straight-Bread Sensation stands up on wobbly legs.

 

Six!

 

The Caribbean Cruiser reaches the top step, and rolls inside the ring.

 

Seven!

 

Doom pulls himself inside as well, ensuring that the match will continue, at least a little while longer.

 

"That was close. I thought that this thing would end in a count-out. No way would such an ending stop the hostility between these two men," Francis says.

 

"No doubt about that. A count-out would just mean that something like a Texas Deathmatch would have to be invoked for them to settle their differences," King adds.

 

Jimmy climbs up to his feet, but Wildchild is already standing and peppers him with a combination of punches to the head. The Tropical Tumbler hops back out of Doom's reach, but the Straight-Breader is pretty punch drunk, so Wildchild leaps in the air and cracks him with a gamengiri.

 

INCOMMUNICADO!

 

The Doomtopian falls to his knees, but it only allows him to headbutt Wildchild in the stomach. The International champ hunches over, and gets cracked with a rising headbutt. Wildchild stumbles backwards, clutching his face, while Jimmy stands fully erect. Doom rushes towards the Tropical Tumbler and knocks him flat with a SEVERAL HURTINGS LARIAT WITH MANIED OF PAININGS DOUBLED BADNESSOOOOO!

 

TUMESCENCE!

 

The Straight-Bread Sensation falls on top of Wildchild, and referee Paul drops to count the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TW-No!

 

"Shoulder up from Wildchild! That wasn't even a near fall," the Franchise states.

 

"Well, Wildchild has been in control for most of the match, so it's not that surprising that he managed to kick out. Jimmy the Doom, though easily stronger than Wildchild, isn't really that strong," King points out.

 

"True, King, but Wildchild has punished his own body with his high flying attacks. He might end up tiring himself out before really taking Doom out," Francis replies.

 

The Straight-Breader pulls Wildchild up and hurls him into the ropes. Doom jumps and raises his right leg, but the Human Hurricane goes into a forward roll, bypassing the front kick completely. Wildchild pops to his feet, twirls around, and boots Jimmy in the gut. The Bahama Bomber leaps up and drops a leg across the Doomtopian's neck, driving him into the mat. The International champion races to the turnbuckles, springs to the top, and flies off, twisting around to land on top of Jimmy.

 

"Caribbean Cutter and Andros Drop combo! What do you say, King, will this be enough for Wildchild to pick up the win?" Mak asks.

 

"Are you kidding? It might get a full two count, and that's if Wildchild covers him right now," King states.

 

The Caribbean Cruiser rolls Doom over and does just that, with Pugliese sliding in to count the pin attempt.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO-No!

 

"Told you so."

 

"Yes, you did, King. Want a medal?"

 

"No, Mak, I think I'll just reward myself with a nice pair of shoes, even though it's kind of silly, as I'll wear them out by walking around," King says.

 

"I'm going to learn telekinesis, and use it to drop a whale on your fucking head," Francis replies.

 

Wildchild stands up, and pulls Doom back to his feet. Jimmy fires off a shotei, catching Wildchild in the forehead. The Human Hurricane moves in close, and assaults the Doomtopian with a barrage of punches to the body and head, easily ducking and dodging Jimmy's retaliatory blows. The International champion begins breaking the Straight-Breader down with kicks to the legs and stomach, while continuing to land punch after punch to the head. Doom tries to connect with strikes of his own, but Wildchild either manages to avoid it, parry it, or hit Jimmy first, stopping the Doomtopian from even following through. After nearly two minutes of the attack, Jimmy is hunched over, shorter than Wildchild, who is planning on his next move. He doesn't get a chance to execute that move, as the Straight-Bread Sensation rises up with the best uppercut ever, knocking Wildchild backwards.

 

OPPROBRIUM!

 

Doom follows with a left cross, an uppercut-like elbow, and finally a downward spiking elbow to the top of Wildchild's head, staggering the champion. Jimmy snares the Bahama Bomber in a front facelock and drops backwards.

 

"It looks like Jimmy the Doom is starting to mount a comeback. He's taken a lot of the best Wildchild can dish out, and just keeps on coming back for more. He's like the Terminator," Mak says.

 

"So, the only way to stop him is dump him in a vat of molten steel? Interesting. We're going to Pittsburgh!" King shouts.

 

Jimmy gets to his feet and walks to the turnbuckles. The Doomtopian climbs to the top rope and flings himself towards Wildchild. 'Towards Wildchild' and 'on Wildchild' being drastically different in the accuracy department, and the distinction being made due to Jimmy's lack of accuracy. He missed and/or Wildchild moved out of the way for the slow to catch on. The Human Hurricane picks himself up, and then does the same for his opponent. Wildchild snares Jimmy in a front facelock and hoists the Doomtopian off the mat. The Tropical Tumbler spins the Straight-Breader around and drops him to the mat.

 

"I know Wildchild usually performs a corkscrew vertical suplex, but that looked more like a corkscrew brainbuster," Mak points out.

 

"Good plan, if you ask me. Dump that freak on his head a few more times and see if he pops up again," King says.

 

Wildchild picks Doom off the mat once more, and whips Jimmy into the corner. The Human Hurricane follows the Straight-Breader in and jumps, sandwiching Doom between the turnbuckles and Wildchild himself.

 

"Nice Blue Crush from the International champion. He can do a lot right now with Jimmy the Doom trapped in the corner," Mak says.

 

"Yeah, like take Doom to the top turnbuckle and drop him outside the ring," King offers.

 

Wildchild appears to be following King's advice, as he lifts Doom up and sets him on the top turnbuckle. The Bahama Bomber springs onto the middle rope, wraps his hands around Jimmy's head, and pulls him off the top buckle with a neckbreaker. Wildchild pops back up and leaps to the top rope. He jumps off and crashes on top of the Doomtopian. Wildchild hooks Jimmy's legs and referee Paul slides in to count the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

TH-No!

 

"Barely a two count for Wildchild after a senton splash and that Neck Wrecker. I'm starting to agree with you, King. Wildchild should just hit the Wild-Driver about a dozen times, and then go for the pin," Mak says.

 

"On top of a chair," King adds.

 

"And from the top rope."

 

"To the outside."

 

"Doom would still probably kick out just before three," Francis points out.

 

"That rat bastard," King grumbles.

 

Wildchild stands up and walks away from Jimmy, either in an effort to catch his breath, plan his next move, or as a precautionary measure to prevent himself from flipping out over his inability to put the Doomtopian away. The Straight-Bread Sensation climbs up and catches Wildchild heading for him. Doom steps up to meet the Tropical Tumbler, and lifts Wildchild off the mat. Jimmy spins the International champion upside down, then rightside up before dropping Wildchild across his knee. Doom sweeps the Caribbean Cruiser's legs out from under himself with a kick, and, with Wildchild seated on the mat, Jimmy nails his opponent in the face with a roundhouse.

 

PANACEA!

 

"What a kick from Jimmy the Doom! That's a lot like the end to Doomsday, but I don't think that roundhouse alone will be enough to finish off Wildchild," Mak says.

 

"Well, you've got to remember that nasty tilt-a-whirl inverted atomic drop that preceded it. That, uh, could really make the difference," King replies, trying desperately to hold in his laughter.

 

"Let's see how much you'd Jimmy the Doom smashing you in the crotch with his knee," the Franchise points out.

 

"Least I can feel my crotch," Applewhite shoots back.

 

"You'd be the only one that does."

 

"On a daily basis. Wait...damn you, Francis."

 

Doom flops on top of Wildchild and Paul Pugliese dives to the canvas to count the pinfall.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THR-No!

 

"Kick out from Wildchild! That was honestly a bit closer than I expected, so Wildchild obviously has to pick up the pace if he wants to walk out of Battleground still the International champion," Mak says.

 

"And of course, you won't be walking out of Battleground at all, nor anywhere else, for that matter. Or into somewhere," King replies.

 

"I'll run you over with this damn chair," Francis grumbles.

 

The Straight-Bread Sensation hauls Wildchild off the mat and rockets him into the ropes. Doom gives chase and leaps, but so does Wildchild, and despite the six inch height advantage, the Tropical Tumbler can jump higher than Jimmy. This results in Wildchild blasting Doom with a DAT MAN AIN'T CHA BABY'S DADDY, SO DON'T BE HANGIN' ROUND 'IM NO MORE, I KNOW BECAUSE DA CARDS DON'T LIE (LEG) LARIATOOOOO!

 

PANEGYRIC!

 

However, it would seem that Doom doesn't put much stock in tarot, and remains on his feet. Nostrils flaring angrily, Wildchild whips around and buries a foot in Jimmy's gut. The International champion jumps up and crashes his legs across the Straight-Bread Sensation's neck, driving him into the mat.

 

"Carribean Cutter, and I think Wildchild is back in control," Mak states.

 

"It's looked that way often in this match, but Jimmy the Doom is still fighting back, so, let's wait next time before jumping to a conclusion. Of course, you've got a long wait before you can jump anywhere," King notes, chuckling.

 

Wildchild picks the groggy Doom up, boots him in the stomach, and spins around, slamming his back into Jimmy's head. The Caribbean Cruiser hooks Jimmy's arms and tries to turn him over, but Doom blocks it. Wildchild makes another attempt, but the Doomtopian stays solid. The Straight-Breader starts to lift Wildchild off the mat by straightening up, but the International champion flails his legs and leans forward, pulling Jimmy back down. Wildchild doesn't stop at just being back on the mat, but keeps on going, driving Doom's skull into the canvas.

 

FRIPPERY!

 

"Wild-Driver! Wildchild was going for the Wild Ride, and I can't recall the last person that kicked out of it, but Doom nearly reversed it, but Wildchild countered the reversal with the Wild-Driver! Could this be enough?" the Franchise inquires.

 

"I think we've gone over this, several time, and the answer is no. Seven more and we'll talk about it," King says.

 

Wildchild obviously feels differently, and makes a lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE-No!

 

"Kick out! Doom got a shoulder up after the Wild-Driver! He almost landed directly on top of his skull, but he still managed to kick out!" Francis exclaims.

 

"And, yet, you landed on top of your head, and you haven't moved anything but your mouth and bowels since then."

 

The Human Hurricane picks Doom off the mat and attempts an Irish whip, but Jimmy lashes out with a jab to the throat. Wildchild stumbles backwards, gasping for breath, while the Straight-Breader closes the distance and smacks Wildchild with a shotei. Jimmy snaps off another palm strike, and then slips behind the International champion. Doom snakes his right arm around Wildchild's face and pulls him backwards, while he hooks the Tropical Tumbler's left leg with the corresponding arm. The Doomtopian hoists Wildchild off the mat and falls back. Jimmy shifts positions and makes a lateral press while keeping Wildchild's leg hooked.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-No!

 

"Kick out from Wildchild! He got caught offguard with that Hand of Doom, and Jimmy followed it up with a Doom Driver, nearly getting the three count, and of course, the International title," Francis says.

 

"If Doom can remain in control of this match, it shouldn't take much more to put Wildchild away. Hell, kick him in the head maybe two more times and he might be out," King adds.

 

Doom picks Wildchild off the mat and smacks him with a double palm strike to the chest. Jimmy stalks after the International champion, but Wildchild bounds forward and jumps, knocking the Straight-Bread Sensation down with a COME MISTER TALLY MAN, TALLY ME BANANA, DAYLIGHT COME, AND ME WANNA GO HOME (LEG) LARIATOOOOO!

 

SEMAPHORE!

 

"And just as you say that, the match swings back to Wildchild's favor," the Franchise notes.

 

"Interesting. I hope Mak Francis tap dances right now! Hey, whaddya know, it works! I can cause the exact opposite of whatever I say happen. I must use my powers only for good," King says, laughing.

 

Wildchild kicks the downed Straight-Breader in the head before sprinting to the ropes. Dominic LeCroix hops to the top strand and springs backwards while flipping forwards. The Tropical Tumbler flies across the ring and lands in a heap on top of his Doomtopian opponent. Wildchild stays down, and Paul Pugliese dives to the mat to count the pin attempt.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!--NO!

 

"I cannot believe it! Jimmy the Doom just kicked out of the Falling Star Press! Wildchild must be thinking about just forgetting about being honorable, and pummel Doom with a chair for half an hour," the Franchise mutters.

 

"I'd approve of such an action. Hell, I'd lend him the chair," King says.

 

Wildchild climbs up to his feet and tries arguing with Pugliese, but gives up, as he knows that losing his temper won't win him the match. The Human Hurricane shuffles over to the turnbuckles and hops to the top. He turns back to the ring, only to find Jimmy nearly on his feet. Wildchild drops back to the mat and races towards Doom, who, in turn, heads for the International champion. Wildchild jumps up and puts his feet in the Doomtopian's chest, while grabbing Jimmy by the back of the head. The Bahama Bomber flips the Straight-Bread Sensation over and into the corner.

 

"Monkey flip from Wildchild, and Jimmy the Doom is in real trouble now. He's stuck in the tree of woe. Granted, I don't know how much Wildchild will take advantage of Doom's situation, but with the frustration Jimmy's been causing him, I wouldn't be surpised if Wildchild went after him," Mak says.

 

"I'm impressed at how much of a run-on sentence that was, especially when you consider that you can't run, period."

 

"Two things: One, fuck you. Two, how do you know I didn't have a full stop just then?" Mak asks.

 

"Well, the thing is, your mother," King points out.

 

Wildchild turns around, runs at Doom, and slides for his head. Jimmy pulls himself up to a sitting position on the top turnbuckle, and Wildchild springs to his feet on the apron. The Caribbean Cruiser stuns Doom with two quick jabs, then leaps on the top rope. Wildchild jumps over the Straight-Bread Sensation, grabs him around the waist, and slams him into the mat. The International champ tosses his legs over Doom's arms, and Pugliese falls to the mat to count the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

Paul springs to his feet and holds up two fingers, signifying that the match will go on!

 

"What? He didn't kick out! What the hell is going on? Wildchild hit the Bahama Bomb, and Jimmy the Doom never moved his shoulders!" Mak screams.

 

"He didn't have to. Doom was too close to the ropes and got hold of the bottom one. Rope break, Mak, rope break," King explains.

 

"Don't you even try and spin 'rope break' into something about my broken neck," Francis grumbles.

 

"I would never do such a thing! Give me some credit, Mak. Do I look like the kind of person to kick another man while he's down?" King asks.

 

"You did it all the time, and continue to do so."

 

"Yeah, I am pretty great that way," Applewhite beams.

 

Slowly, Wildchild climbs to his feet, wracking his brain at what to do next. LeCroix leans agains the ropes, not wanting to exert himself in bringing Doom back up. Jimmy finally makes it off the mat, and Wildchild springs into action, as well as the air, looking for a MY GIRL'S NAME IS SENORA, I TELL YOU FRIENDS I ADORE HER, AND WHEN SHE DANCES, OH BROTHER, SHE'S A HURRICANE IN ALL KINDS OF WEATHER (LEG) LARIATOOOOO! but the Doomtopian catches Wildchild, stumbles backwards, and dumps the Bahama Bomber throat-first across the top rope. Wildchild bounces off, staggers around, and gets taken to the mat with a bulldog. Jimmy flips Wildchild over and makes his way to the corner.

 

"Doom with a hotshot counter to that leg lariat Wildchild had been hitting all night at will. And, it looks like Jimmy is heading up top for the Jimmy's Jump," Mak states.

 

"I'm not sure it'll be enough to get the win if he can hit it, though," King notes.

 

Doom climbs to the top turnbuckle and leaps off, flipping forward on his way down. The Straight-Breader goes a full four hundred, fifty degrees, landing a devastating headbutt to the canvas. Wildchild doesn't bother getting up, but rolls Doom over and drapes an arm across his chest.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

"Shoulder up! I'm glad this match didn't end because Doom missed Jimmy's Jump. I know Doom and Wildchild wouldn't accept such a finish and would keep going after one another in the weeks to come," Mak says.

 

"Oh, no doubt about that, Mak. It's going to take something really definitive for this to end between Wildchild and Jimmy the Doom. However, if Wildchild wins the match, the fact that Doom's taken nearly everything dished out in stride could mean that things might not end tonight," King points out.

 

"I'm not sure about that. Both men have given their all, and I can't imagine either one still holding anything against the other if it ends legitimately. Besides, what else could end things between these two, short of something drastic like a Loser Leaves the Federation match."

 

"I bet Wildchild wouldn't be adverse to something like that. He's got a pretty good record in those matches, if I remember correctly," King replies.

 

Wildchild slowly climbs up, joined moments later by Doom. The Tropical Tumbler shove Jimmy into the ropes and follows after the Doomtopian. Jimmy springs into the air and plants his foot on Wildchild's chest, knocking him to the mat.

 

TENDENTIOUS!

 

Jimmy pulls Wildchild up and knees him in the stomach. Doom takes hold of the Caribbean Cruiser's head and starts to bend him over, but Wildchild breaks Jimmy's grip. The International champion tries to back away, but Jimmy knocks Wildchild down with a diving IMMEDIATION LACKED WITH A PAINFULS LARIAT, SEVERAL OF BRAINING TO FUNCTIONED, BY CEASEDOOOOO!

 

CNIDARIAN!

 

"Nice lariat from Jimmy the Doom after Wildchild blocked that Doom Factor attempt," Mak comments.

 

"Had Doom managed to hit the Doom Factor, I'd be willing to bet that Wildchild wouldn't be able to kick out," King says.

 

The Straight-Bread Sensation grabs Wildchild by the wrist and yanks him back up. Doom twists the International champion's arm around and drives a knee into Wildchild's gut. Jimmy moves in front of the Human Hurricane, lifts one leg off the mat, and jumps, kicking Dominic LeCroix in the chin with his previously planted foot.

 

UNGULATE!

 

Wildchild's knees buckle, and Jimmy helps the International champion out with two kicks to the legs, dropping him to his knees. The Straight-Bread Sensation sizes Wildchild up and unleashes a roundhouse to the Bahama Bomber's face, sending him crashing backwards to the mat.

 

PAUCITY!

 

"Doomsday! I can't see Wildchild kicking out of this, especially with the Yak Kick included, and that flying snap kick preceding it," Mak says.

 

"Stranger things have happened, such as Toxxic kipping up after the MI Slam, but I agree with you, there's no chance for Wildchild to kick out. The only shot he has is if Melissa Fasaki interferes, but she's probably all for honor or something stupid," King mutters.

 

Jimmy the Doom falls on top of Wildchild and hooks the Human Hurricane's legs. Referee Paul Pugliese drops down on all fours and counts the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

Pugliese climbs to his feet and signals for the bell.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, and NEW International champion, the Straight-Bread Sensation, JIIIMMEEEE THE DOOOOM!" Funyon roars.

 

Lois the Unethical slides into the ring as Pugliese takes the belt from Funyon and passes it to Doom. Jimmy embraces Lois while "Yakety Sax" plays over the speakers.

 

"Doom wins! What a war that was, and hopefully, the animosity between Jimmy the Doom and Wildchild will end right now," Mak says hopefully.

 

"I'm typically not one for peace, love, unity, and other assorted hippy crap, but I think the hatred these two men shared is over," King adds.

 

Melissa Fasaki tentatively enters the ring to comfort Wildchild, but Doom steps between the two. Jimmy lifts the Tropical Tumbler off the mat and they shake hands. Wildchild raises the Straight-Breader's arm in the air as a promotional video for 'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins versus Zyon in a street fight engulfs the SmarkTron.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

So, my reign ends. Emo Rly. Feedback, yo.

 

----

 

The lights in the arena go dark. Pitch black. A hush falls over the fans at ringside, as a single spotlight shines down onto the stage at the beginning of the entrance ramp.

 

Boom!

 

Pyros explode from each side of the stage, launching a mix of red and gold stars towards the ceiling and cueing a change in music as Zach de la Rocha's voice once again floods the building, this time doing a cover of "Street Fighting Man". The arena lights pulse along to the beat. Fans at ringside don't seems to appreciate the obvious work that went into producing such a spectacle, instead cheering the arrival of Austin Sly as he steps out of the curtain.

 

"Everywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet boooooy..."

 

"'Cause summers here and the time is right for fighting in the streeeet boooooy..."

 

Funyon booms into the microphone, “And entering first…from St. Louis Missouri and weighing in at 220 pounds…he is AUSTIN…SLYYYYYY!”

 

With a smile on his face, Austin slowly makes his way down the entrance ramp, the parted sea of humanity lashing out looking for a high five him on either side. He slaps a few hands on his approach before casually rolling underneath the bottom rope and into the ring, the end of his trenchcoat trailing his every moment with an extra flare. He quickly paces the ring before making his way to a corner of the ring and removing his coat before hanging it on the ringpost. He stands in anxious anticipation, waiting for his opponents.

 

Cypress Hill’s “How I Could Just Kill A Man” hits, a wall of blue & white pyrotechnics triggering the cheers of the crowd as Stryke steps through the smoke and sparks onto the stage. Stryke quickly heads down the ramp, slapping a few hands on the way before climbing onto the apron, looking out into the stands for a moment to absorb the adoration of the fans before climbing in and getting straight to business, preparing for the match at hand.

 

“And from Sydney Australia he is Two Hundred and Twenty Three Pounds…STRYYKKEEEEEE”

 

“WAKE ME UP!”

 

A line of pyros erupts as Evenescence’s “Bring me to life” starts. SWF Rookie, Grendel, makes his way through the curtain. He draws a mixed reaction… cheers from fans who are impressed with his squash of Matt Myers and narrow defeat of Arch Griffon…silence from those who are indifferent…and boos from smarks who hate on rookies blindly…

 

“From Manhatten New York…he weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds…THE ASSASSIN…THE SPIRIRT OF AGRESSION…GRENDELLLLLL”

 

 

“WATCH YA STEP KID!

WATCH YA STEP KID!

WATCH YA STEP KID!”

 

The Divine Wind Akira Kaibatsu steps out of the curtain, bearing the gold around his waist. Not just the gold, but the purpose of this match. He slowly walks down the ramp, bobbing his head with the tempo of the song. He high fives some lucky fans, and a few long armed freaks in the crowd even get a touch of the belt.

 

“Weighing in at one hundred and ninety five pounds from SENDAI JAPAN . . . He is YOUR…Cruiserweight champion of the world… the DIVINNEEEEEE WIND…AKIRAAAAA KAIBATSUUUUUU!”

 

Akira rolls into the ring, and stands on the turnbuckle, and raises the cruiserweight title up high before the Jacksonville fans. He steps down, and hands it to referee Byron Dragonsen, before kissing it.

 

Funyon stands in the center of the ring with a white index cad in his hands. “The objective of the Air Raid match is to grab the SWF Cruiserweight title from the steel cables before any other participant can. Air Raid is no disqualification, and ladders are permitted, HOWEVER…they cannot be used to obtain the title. Should two participants grab the title at the same time, and fall together, they are declared CO-CHAMPIONS!”

 

Akira and Stryke stand beside each other, giving each other a sign of respect, in a head nod. Across the ring from them: The returning Austin Sly. In the past he was a total dick…but he’s an old superstar returning…returning to his home in the SWF, and the fans respect that. And next to him is Grendel. A Blue Chipper who’ll take it to the air….

 

 

 

…and straight to the ground! Akira runs at Grendel, and takes him down with a Yakuza Kick!

 

 

RAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 

DING DING DING

 

Sly doesn’t want to end up like Grendel, and immediately runs towards Stryke, with a clothesline. Stryke however ducks, and wraps his arms around Sly’s waist. He pulls his head to the side, and flips Sly backwards, and drops him on his head!

 

 

“BAAAACCKKDROOOPPPPP DRIVVVVVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!”

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

King shouts, “That was early. Sly looks to be taking a lot of punishment in this match. For the sake of his kids, let’s hope Stryke doesn’t have too much fun. Hospital Bills are huge these days.”

 

Austin rolls out of the ring, as Stryke switches his focus over to Akira and Grendel who are exchanging knife edged chops. Akira then switches it up with an elbow to the side of Grendel’s head. He whips Grendel behind him, and right into Stryke! Stryke tosses Grendel backwards for a backdrop! Stryke and Akira then face each other with deathly glares. Akira runs at Stryke, and hits an elbow at Stryke’s cheek. Stryke is knocked back a bit, but rebounds with a knife edged chop right to Akira’s chest. Kaibatsu fights back with an overhand chop to Stryke’s torso! Stryke attempts a forearm, but Akira ducks. He then grabs Stryke by the head, and locks in a dragon sleeper. He drops Stryke to the ground with force, and hits a reverse DDT!

 

“Nicely executed DDT!”

 

King adds, “Very stiff confrontation between Kaibatsu and Stryke!

 

Akira walks over to Grendel, who just now begins to get up. Akira lifts him up by the mask, and throws a forearm his way. Grendel’s skull bounces back upon impact, and Akira throws Grendel into the ropes. Grendel bounces back, and Akira jumps up, leapfrogging over his head. Grendel ducks under, and continues running to the next rope. He’s caught however, as Stryke uses all the momentum he can getting to his feet behind a lariat that takes Grendel’s head off!

 

While that happens, Akira peers over the ropes by Austin Sly. Sly is beginning to get up, and Kaibatsu takes action. Grabbing the ropes, and using them as a launch pad, Akira jumps, and spins around, bouncing the back of his legs off the ropes. HE back flips, and nails Sly in the shoulder with an Arabian moonsault!

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

“You know what Akira’s kinda like?”

 

“I know he’s kinda stupid for putting his body on the line daily with shit like that,”

 

“Yeah, well besides that. Like, a big melting pot of Johnson and Wildchild”

 

“Melting pot? He wasn’t born in New York” King says, as he pops another beer out from a cooler under the announce table.

 

Akira picks up Sly by the hair, but Sly manages to find the energy to throw a punch at Akira’s gut on his way to his feet. Sly then puts Akira in a front face lock, and prepares for a suplex, but he can’t get any further in the process, because Stryke just ran through the middle ropes, and nailing both men with a Tope Con Hilo!

 

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

“BACK DROP DIVER! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!”

 

“A-KIR-A! A-KIR-A!”

 

The fans chant for their wrestlers, but very quickly, the chants go away. Not because Jacksonville is disinterested, but because Jacksonville is on awe. SWF rookie, Grendel, stands atop the metal pole, 20 feet in the air, peering down at the other competitors. Before a deep breath, and convincing himself to do it, Grendel leaps off the steel pole, spreading his arms and legs, nailing all three men with a 20 foot high body press!

 

…

 

…

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 

“GREN-DEL! GREN-DEL!”

 

“OH MY GOD, DID YOU SEE THAT!!!”

 

“Grendel is a true cruiserweight, lemme tell ya.”

 

After 15 seconds of little to no movement from anyone on the floor, and several chants of different varieties, Grendel gets up off the floor, and slides into the ring. He climbs up the turnbuckle, and grabs the steel cables, slowly shimmying in towards the Cruiserweight title. Stryke is the first one to his feet. He slides into the ring, and has his mind set in keeping Grendel away from that title belt. He reaches up towards Grendel’s legs, and tries to pull The Assassin down by them. Eventually he does, and Grendel sits upon Stryke’s shoulders in Electric Chair position.

 

Akira is next to his feet, and he makes his way into the ring. Akira sees an opportunity, and takes advantage. He climbs the turnbuckle, facing Stryke’s back. Grendel tries to fight his way off Stryke’s shoulders, but the Australian wont budge. Stryke eventually backs up, closer to Akira, and then the cruiserweight champion puts his plan into action. He leaps off the ropes, and digs his feet into the back of Grendel’s head. From in-ring experience, Stryke knows what to do from here. He compliments Akira’s double stomp by folding Grendel down for an Electric Chair Drop!

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

“The best of teamwork from the most unlikely of people!”

 

Austin Sly makes his way to his feet, and folds the ring apron up, peering under the ring. Austin Sly, being himself, pulls up a ladder, and slides it into the ring. He sets it up a fair amount of feet away from the title, so he has obvious plans of a high flying maneuver. Sly reaches the top, only to find that Akira was playing possum by lying on the ground. Not putting Austin in the best of positions. Akira tips the ladder over from behind, and Sly is gutted over the steel cables!

 

“Uh…oh”

 

Akira climbs up the ladder swiftly and quickly. He takes a few last measurements before destroying Sly. Akira leaps split legged over the ladder, and catches Sly’s torso on the jump. He flips over forward, and tosses Sly to the mat with power.

 

“A SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB OFF THE STEEL CABLES!!!

 

 

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

 

“A-KIR-A!”

 

 

Akira doesn’t land so smoothly himself, falling to his knees, and struggling to capitalize on his move. Stryke makes his way to his feet soon after Akira falls to the ground however. Stryke runs at Akira with precision on his mind, not so much speed, before stepping up off of Akira’s knee, and nailing him in the face with a running knee!

 

“BACK DROP DRIVER! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP”

 

Stryke sees this as an opportunity to obtain the title belt he feels he deserves, and climbs up to the turnbuckle. He jumps up, and grabs the steel cables, sliding his way towards gold. It’s now that Grendel finally recovers from his vicious double stomp electric chair combo, and he gets to the ring apron as quickly as he can. Meanwhile, Stryke inches closer and closer towards glory.

 

Stryke reaches his left arm forward, grabbing at the gold. He can touch the face plate, feeling the gold in his hand, but unable to get a firm grasp on it. Then…

 

 

SMAAACCCCCKKKKKKK!

 

Grendel comes springboarding off the ropes, and extends his feet outward, hitting Stryke’s head with a front dropkick!

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Stryke hits the mat hard on his shoulder, and Grendel takes impact on the mat with his back. Akira finally makes his way to his feet now, and picks up Grendel by the mask. He throws the Assassin into the turnbuckle, but Grendel counters, sending Akira into the corner instead. Stryke then makes his way to his feet, and moves in front of Akira, about to throw a chop. Grendel then runs up behind Stryke, and leapfrogs over him, throwing another front dropkick, this time at Akira.

 

“Grendel sure is turning some heads in this one!”

 

“Everyone’s gotta make their mark, and you’ve gotta do it anyway you can,” King adds.

 

Grendel then kips up, and jumps up onto the turnbuckle, over Akira’s head. Grendel spins around, but before he can do any sort of move, Stryke grabs his head in a front facelock, and lifts him up. He drags him over to the ropes, and bounces his legs off them. He uses the momentum from the bounce to add impact to a vertical suplex.

 

“Slingshot suplex from Stryke”

 

“That’s a move he’s perfected over the years” King adds.

 

Austin Sly then gets back up to his feet, and slowly slides back into the ring. Stryke greets him with an elbow. Sly throws one right back at him, and whips him into the ropes. The Australian bounces back, and Sly catches him. He grabs Stryke between his legs, and flips him over for a powerslam!

 

Sly then takes advantage of being the only man on his feet, and climbs the turnbuckle. He jumps up, and catches the steel cable. He begins to shimmy his way towards victory…but not if Akira has anything to say about it. He climbs the turnbuckle, and aims at Sly, who begins to shimmy even faster. Akira leaps, spreading his arms and legs out, turning side ways for a Diving Cross Body, that hits Sly’s lower back and sends him to the floor.

 

Akira comes up grasping at his stomach, almost out of air, but he carries on, lifting Sly up by the hair. Kaibatsu whips him into the ropes, but Sly doesn’t bounce off… he jumps onto the middle rope, and back flips off for a Sky Surfer! He doesn’t hit Akira though…he moved out of the way. Instead Sly lands right on Grendel! Either way though, Sly is happy to have inflicted the pain on someone.

 

It is soon thereafter pain being inflicted on him though. Just as he gets up, Akira runs to the ropes, and bounces off. He comes at Sly with all the speed he has, and knocks Austin’s face in with a Yakuza kick!

 

Akira is about to make his way to climbing up the steel pole and onto a rope, but Stryke makes his way to his feet and stops him. Stryke runs at him, and hits a short armed clothesline to the back of the head. This doesn’t quite send Akira to the ground, but it certainly slows him up. Stryke then throws a forearm to the back of his head, and climbs up the top rope, grabbing the steel cable when he gets there. Akira runs to the opposite corner, and does the same,

 

The two men slide down the cable towards the center where the title belt is, and when they eventually get so close that they can touch each other, things get difficult. Both men sit there hanging on the rope for dear life, unable to make a move at the title without opening up a spot for their opponent.

 

Akira throws kicks to the gut of Stryke, and after Stryke maneuvers his body away from them, he throws kicks of his own.. Stryke then swings himself back into normal position on the ropes, and then is nailed with a kick to the gut from Akira. Akira hits another kick, and then risks it all in one swoop.

 

He leaps forward off the ropes, and drags his arm out. He catches Stryke’s throat with his arm, and brings him down to the ground from 20 feet up.

 

“SIDE EFFECT FROM THE TOP”

 

…not only that, but Akira holds his arm there, and locks his other arm around Stryke’s throat. He takes the life out of Stryke with this choke as every second goes by. Moment by moment, Stryke’s chances of victory in this match fade.

 

 

“AN ANACONDA VICE! BRILLIANT MOVE FROM AKIRA!”

 

Stryke’s eyes slowly close, and Akira now realizes that choking Stryke out does him now good in this match, so he lets go. Kaibatsu gets up, and meets Grendel there. The Assassin throws an elbow at Akira’s cheek bone, and whips him into the ropes. Grendel catches him, and tosses him up into the air, dropping him down on his face with a flapjack! Grendel turns around to pick up Sly, but he sees that Austin is already to his feet, and comes running at him with a clip kick. He immediately picks up Grendel by the bask, and locks his head under his armpit in a front facelock. He butterflies the arms, and drops him square on his face!

 

“Double arm DDT! Double Arm DDT!” Mak shouts

 

King gasps, “Holy shit, it feels like forever since we’ve Sly do that!”

 

Austin Sly gets up as quickly as he can, and ascends to the turnbuckle. He jumps up to the steel cables, and wiggles his way forward. Akira and Grendel both get up right now. Grendel, quicker to take Sly off of the steel cable, grabs Sly’s legs, and pulls him down. Sly tries to turn this into a hurricanrana, but Grendel maintains enough strength to hold him up there. Akira, taking a move from his tag team, tells Grendel to back up into the turnbuckle. He does, and Sly continues to fight his way out of the hold. That is, until Akira grabs a hold of his head in a cravate. Akira points Grendel in a direction that is quite obviously “up. Grendel carefully takes a step up the turnbuckle. The turnbuckle is temporarily squished, as Akira still has the cravate locked in, but not for much longer. Akira runs up the steel pole with Sly’s head. He then back flips off, driving his head down to the mat with The Divine Wind, as Grendel slams down his back with a super powerbomb!

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

Grendel takes a moment to grasp the moment. He’s doing spots with the SWF cruiserweight champion at a major Pay Per View. Maybe he takes a bit too much time grasping though, as Akira begins to run up the turnbuckle. He jumps into the air, and hooks Grendel’s head with his legs, and flips him off of the turnbuckle. Grendel’s back lands flat onto Austin Sly’s deflated stomach.

 

RAHHHHHH!!!!

 

 

“FRANKENSTEINER ONTOP OF SLYYYYYYYYYYYYY” Mak shouts.

 

“Akira’s going to win this match right here!” King gets loud.

 

Akira takes a good look at his title belt suspended above the ring. He looks over to the turnbuckle, but shrugs it off, and looks at the ladder leaned against the steel cables. It’s been sitting there quietly waiting for an important spot to come of it. Akira decides it’s his job to make that happen. He drags a half way unconscious Stryke to about 10 feet in front of the ladder. He takes Grendel and Sly’s motionless bodies over there too, and lay all three so close together, they almost lay on top of each other. Akira then climbs the ladder, with relative ease, as it’s on an incline. Once up there, he stands on the rope for balance. He bends his knees, and takes the leap. He reaches a height no one has seen on the entire show, and the cameras flash. Akira bends his back, rotating his body completely so that his back is going directly down. His body starts to drop, and the speed increases tremendously.

 

 

 

SMAAAAAAAAAASHHHHHHHHH

 

 

Instinctively, all three men have the sense to roll out of the way of their certain death. Almost as if previously planned, they roll in different directions, impossible for Akira to hit any of them.

 

The three standing wrestlers all run into the center of the ring about to attack each other. Sly jumps into the air, and throws a dropkick, thrusting his legs out in opposite directions, trying to hit both men. He successfully knocks Grendel down, but tough-ass Australian, Stryke, catches the kick. He pulls Sly’s leg up high, and then let’s go, rushing a lariat to Sly’s face. Sly ducks though, and Stryke misses. Stryke turns around, and Sly throws another kick, this time at Stryke’s leg. Stryke comes back at this with an elbow to the face. Sly leaps into the air, and hits Stryke with a huge missile dropkick to the chest, that sends him backwards. He backs up right into Grendel, who hooks his arm between Stryke’s legs, and rolls him over for a school boy, covering him. Referee Byron Dragonsen then comes over to whisper in Grendel’s ear, telling him he can’t win via pinfall in this match. Grendel throws his palm at the mat, showing his rookie inexperience. He turns his head around while still on his knees from that school boy, and Sly is running right at him, going for a Shining Wizard! Grendel ducks his head though, and misses defiantly. He does run right into Akira Kaibatsu though, who catches him, and hits him with a strong elbow that doesn’t quite send him to the ground. Akira walks over to Grendel, and lifts him up. He stuffs Grendel’s head between his legs, and butterflies the arms. Akira swings Grendel around, looking for an appropriate place to drop him. After almost a full spin, Akira finds what he’s looking for: The inclined ladder. Grendel is dropped face first onto this inclined ladder, and lays motionless on it.

 

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

“IT CAME FROM SENDAIIIII!!!”

 

Sly doesn’t want Akira to take his spot light though – he earned it. Sly runs at the ropes opposite the ladder, and jumps onto the ones in the middle. He backflips off of them, and hits Grendel right on that inclined ladder!

 

 

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Akira goes to throw an elbow at Grendel, as he’s been doing constantly throughout the match, but doesn’t get the chance, as he’s shoved out of the ring by Stryke, who is now conscious, and moving! Stryke steps out of the ring, and throws a forearm at Akira’s cheek. Then he tosses Akira by the mask onto the ring barrier.

 

Grendel falls off of the ladder, but is picked up by Sly, and dragged up to the top of the ladder. Sly lifts Grendel’s legs, and hooks them over his head, attempting to throw him down for a powerbomb!

 

“Oh no! No, Sly! That’s certain death! You can’t powerbomb him off of a ladder! You’ll end his young career!”

 

Grendel senses he’s in a ton of trouble, and reverses the powerbomb into a hurricanrana! Sly comes flying down to the floor, hitting the mat with a thud that makes the ring shake. On the outside, Stryke picks up Akira by the mask, and throws another forearm, but Akira comes back with one of his own. Akira then follows up with an elbow, and the two elbow each other until they’ve rolled each other into the ring. The brawl on the floor throwing elbows and forearms at each other, spit flying through out the air. Akira lands on elbow right at Stryke’s forehead where the skin is very thin, and it begins to bleed.

 

Grendel slowly backs off of the ladder, and intervenes in the brawl going on between Akira and Stryke, by throwing punches at both of them. Akira gets up while still being assaulted by punches from Grendel, and Stryke does the same. Akira whips his left arm back behind his shoulders, and whips it forward, throwing a nasty knife edged chop at Grendel’s chest.

 

 

SMAAAACKKKKKKKKKK

 

Grendel bends over in pain, doubled over, his hands clutched over his heart. He moves his right hand over to his back, which also seems to have experienced pain from the last chop. Stryke then moves behind Grendel, and puts him in a side waist lock. He flips Grendel backwards, and drops him on his head for a Backdrop Driver!!

 

“Pfft. Grendel didn’t make the wisest of decisions there…” Mak says.

 

Grendel folds like a towel in a hotel resort, and flips out of the ring. Stryke gets right back up after the attack, but Akira was stalking him, and hits him square in the chest with a knife edged chop that makes Stryke twist his body in pain. He twists his body back over to a normal position though, and uses the momentum to pack a mighty punch behind his elbow! He hits another one, and Akira falls over.

 

Sly gets up right after that, and throws a knife edged chop at Stryke. Stryke comes right back from the strike, with a forearm that sends Sly briefly to the ground. Stryke then very quickly ascends to the top rope.

 

“Stryke’s gonna fly here…”

 

“Stryke is kicking absolute ass right now, Mak!”

 

Stryke leaps up into the air. He brings his arms and legs in, and then out, landing right on top of Sly’s stomach, for All Time High!”

 

“All time high! All time high!”

 

“I don’t know about that…I think we saw Grendel with the all time high earlier on in the match…”

 

Akira is right back up from the elbow shot, and comes after Stryke, hitting a running European Uppercut to the back of Stryke’s neck. Stryke is sent forward a bit, and eventually falls to his hands and knees. Akira runs to the side rope, and bounces off. He extends his foot out, and nails Stryke in the side of the face with a shining gamengiri!

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 

Stryke’s face turns a dark shade of red, and it is soon realized that the shade is caused by bloodshed…not the kick.

 

“Looks like Stryke was busted open a while ago and no one noticed…”

 

Akira picks up Sly by the hair, and then whips him into the ropes. Strkye bounces off, but can’t go any further, because Grendel is up from the outside, and trips Stryke! Grendel then swings inside the ring, and throws mounted forearms at the back of Stryke’s head!

 

Sly gets up, and takes advantage of Akira’s current lack of idea to do from here, and runs up to him, hitting him with a lariat. Grendel picks up Stryke by the hair, and drags him towards the turnbuckle. He spins around with his head, and drives him into the steel post! He digs Stryke’s bloody face into the post, and smears the crimson over the steel.

 

Sly picks up Akira by the mask, and hits a forearm to Akira’s check. He then tucks his shoulders under Akira’s gut, and then flips backwards, putting Akira on his back, and Sly bridges.

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

“Uhh..Sly knows he can’t win that way, right?”

 

“Hey, who cares?. He got a pop out of it, King. That’s what we’re here to do anyway. Treat the fans to a wonderful show!”

 

“…and the fans voted for you to replace Pete?”

 

After the fans start to count along with the ghost referee, Sly realizes the uselessness of the cover, and lets go. He then picks up Akira, and drops him back down to the mat with a forearm. Sly then moves over to the ladder, which has miraculously stayed in it’s place for the duration of the match. Austin climbs to the very top, with the intent of an aerial move off of it, seemingly. Sly inaccurately measured Akira’s tiredness though, and The Divine Wind is at his feet before Sly is even halfway up the ladder. Akira, always looking for the biggest move he can, climbs up the ladder trailing Sly. They both meet at the top of the ladder on one side though, and there just isn’t enough room. Sly, so he can hit any sort of offensive move that isn’t a kick followed by a fall to his death, takes another step up and sits on the steel cable. Akira then moves up a step. Before Sly even knows what’s going on, Akira has jumped up off the ladder, and turns onto the ropes. He bounces up, and turns one more time, catching Austin. He turns one more time, and flips Sly off of the cables!!

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

 

“SEVEN TWENTY DEE DEE TEE!!!”

 

“OFF OF THE STEEL CABLES!”

 

“…”

 

 

“DANGERRROOOOOUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS”

 

“Alright, enough of that. We have personalities, we’re going to show them.”

 

Akira and Sly both lie on the ground, totally motionless. Akira wasn’t aware of how much that was going to take out of him. Grendel finally ends the brutal attack on Stryke’s face, and pulls his bloody head into his arm pit. Grendel screams at the fans, showing his rookie enthusiasm, and then runs up the turnbuckle. He spins around once, and then drives Stryke’s head into the ground for a tornado DDT!

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

 

“Swinging Tornado DDT! Stryke can’t be in this much longer! How much further can he go while he loses all this blood along the way!!” Mak screams. “And you know what? Grendel has definitely won these fans over. If other superstars were driving Stryke’s face into the steel pole, opening up his cut…I don’t know if he’d still be getting cheers from the Jacksonville crowd. But he’s maintained his cheers. That says a lot about his performance in the match, I think.”

 

“You think. That changes the whole speech.”

 

Grendel goes over to the fallen ladder-climbers, and picks up Sly. Grendel throws a mean elbow Austin’s way. This appears to be a rookie mistake, as Austin took that strike as a bit of a wake up call! Austin throws a forearm right back at Grendel!

 

“That looks like it caught Grendel by surprise!”

 

“Good. I hope it did. I’m sick of little Junior son of a bitch over here and his wild flippy shits for attention.”

 

“…tourettes?”

“Budweiser, actually.”

 

Sly continues to throw the elbows, ignoring his own personal pain. Grendel steps out of Sly’s way before he ends up with a concussion, and throws a knife edged chop at him. Grendel throws another chop, and then whips Sly into the ropes. Sly bounces back, but he leapfrogs over Grendel’s head. He can’t do any more running out of the leapfrog though, as he just landed on Akira’s head!

 

“…ouch”

 

“Yeah, that sucks for Akira.”

 

“A lot.”

 

Grendel takes advantage of Sly’s unfortunate landing, and hits him with a kesa-giri chop to the back of the neck. He then puts Sly in a rear waist lock, and flips him backwards with as much force as he has in him.

 

 

“GERMAAANNNN SUPLEXXXX!!!!”

 

Sly is dropped right on his head, and Grendel heads straight for the ladder, which has yet to fall. He climbs up, and is almost at the top, but Stryke gets to his feet, and he wants revenge. He runs up the ladder as fast as he possibly can. Grendel gets very nervous now. 20 feet above the ground with one of SWF’s hardest workers. If Stryke wanted to, he could kill Grendel with a Backdrop driver…and this doesn’t sit well in Grendel’s stomach.

 

“Grendel is sooo fucked, now” King says as he takes a swig of a beer, and then tosses it over his shoulder.

 

Stryke grabs Grendel’s head, and applies a sleeper hold. If Grendel wasn’t so nervous about being dropped to the ground, he might be knocked out by now. Instead, he’s pissing his pants, and rightfully so. Stryke then takes action, and drops backwards. He keeps the sleeper hold locked in as they fall from the ladder together.

 

…

 

 

SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 

Mak begins to speak, but then realizes there is nothing to be said…

 

“I think Grendel is dead,” Almost as if he was discussing the weather, King blurts out.

 

 

 

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

 

“BACK DROP DRIVER! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!”

 

Grendel, done for the match without question, rolls out of the ring, and falls onto the floor with a thud. A team of referees come down to the ring, and help him up, dragging him out of the arena.

 

 

“THANK YOU GRENDEL! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!”

 

“Well, these fans are certainly appreciative of Grendel’s fantastic effort in the match…he put in his all”

 

King sighs, “I swear to god, with every word you sound more and more like an ABC after school special.”

 

Sly slowly begins to get up, and when he eventually does, Akira is at his feet as well. Kaibatsu is quicker to make a move though, and runs at Sly with a Yakuza kick that sends Austin out of the ring! Akira’s leg is hooked up over the rope, and Akira ends up lying out on the ring apron, in pain.

 

Stryke looks around. He’s the only one in the ring. It’s finally time to end this match and crown a new cruiserweight champion. He climbs the turnbuckle, and jumps up to the cables. He grabs them, and begins to shimmey his way across.

 

“Stryke’s gonna do it! New champ! New Champ!” King screams.

 

“Ah. But look at that, King. Stryke’s gotta slow down. He’s just so tired, and this match has been so long now that he can’t move along the cables as fast as he could earlier.”

 

Despite his lack of stamina at the moment, and despite all the woes he has felt in this match, he continues to move down that cable, as fast as he can to approach the cruiserweight title he so dreams of holding.

 

Akira Kaibatsu has other plans though. It’s his title, and he intends to keep it. He gets up from the apron, and grabs the ropes. He pulls back, and jumps off the top one. He springboards off, and drives his shoulder into Stryke’s gut, for a springboard spear!!!

 

 

 

….But Stryke is holding on to the steel cables! He wont let go! Nothing is going to shake his deadly grip on the steel cable!

 

 

…and the same can be said of Akira! Stryke wont budge, so he’s not moving from Stryke’s torso! They’ll both hand there until this endurance test is over!

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

“Oh my god, the upper body strength of these to guys.” King says.

 

“They both deserve to win. They both deserve it.”

 

Stryke wiggles around, but Akira will not budge from his spot around Stryke’s waist. Without sliding down, Akira tried to pull Stryke off the the ropes, attempting to pry his hands off. Neither man will give up though. And if neither will give up, one has to improvise. And no one can improvise like Akira Kaibatsu can improvise.

 

Akira pulls himself up as far as his arms will allow on Stryke’s body. He then does a sit up in the air, pulling his legs even with the rest of his body. He spreads them open, and straddles them around the X formed by the steel cables, and let’s go of Stryke.

 

RAHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

 

“Akira Kaibatsu is hanging upside down from the steel cables!” Mak screams!

 

“He looks like a stupid gymnist”

 

“That is THE most bad ass gymnist I’ve ever seen, King.”

 

Akira reaches downwards at the title, and grabs the gold plate, at the same time Stryke grabs the top part where it hooks. They battle over the title atop the rope, grabbing and shoving.

 

“Stryke, umm” Mak sees a problem in Stryke strategy.

 

Stryke pulls at the title his way, with his hands on the buckle, and suddenly Mak’s foreshadowing is revealed. Stryke pulls the belt as hard as he can, pulling so hard he falls off of the ropes completely. He successfully unbuckled the belt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Into Akira’s hands.

 

 

 

 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

DING DING DING!

 

 

“Akira did it! Akira did it!”

 

“…did he really do it though, Mak?”

 

“Well, it’s not as if Akira cheated. Akira outsmarted Stryke…he picked the part of the title he knew he couldn’t fuck up…”

 

“Stryke lost this match…but did Akira win it?”

“Akira won this match, King. You don’t win championships with out winning matches.”

 

Akira takes his title, and flips himself down the right way, and drops to the ground. He gets down to his knees, and stares at the title he just worked so hard to defend. He draws it closer to his forehead, and kisses the name plate.

 

 

Akira picks himself up, and goes over to Stryke. Stryke is on his hands and knees, pounding his fist into the mat. Akira taps him on the shoulder, and extends a hand for a high five. After a moment of delaying, Stryke finally shakes Akira’s hand.

 

Akira is shown walking back up the ramp with his title as Battleground

 

STAR WIPE…TO THE ENXT SEGMENT.