Tony149 0 Report post Posted May 8, 2006 (edited) Hope both teams aren't already booked. KC must've taken in his PC before he had a chance to answer my request, but since it took me 5 minutes to write this and I can easily replace D*LUX if need be I'm posting this for HD. * DING DING DING * BUFFER The following contest LIVE on HeldDOWN~! is set for one fall with a 15 minute time limit....and it is for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship! Introducing first, the challengers... accompanied to the ring by their business consultant Mackenzie DeCenzo, at a total combine weight of 515 pounds, Nutrition's Real Guru's...NRG! Gavin Rossdale's "Adrenaline" blasting in the background, Mackenzie is the first to appear onstage. She raises her hands in the air to signal the arrival of NRG. The two muscle heads brush up against her and strike a pose, mocking the entrance of their opponents. The meat between the bread, Mackie becomes agitated when Biff begins to SNIFF and STROKE her hair. She slaps his hand away and power walks to the ring, flustered. COACH Not speaking from personal experience or anything, but, uh, the first step to resolving your problem is admitting you have one and Biff has a...unique problem. CABOOSE He has a hair fetish. COACH What gave it away, 'Boosey? COLE Heh. Wait to you hear the reaction for their opponents. BUFFER And their opponents! "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" The melodic stylings of A1's "First To Believe" play over the P.A sending the fans into a frenzy. Jade Rodez is first to emerge, skipping out through the entrance doors with a beaming smile on her pretty little face. Either side, "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant hit a triumphant pose of their manager, their washboard abs covered up by shiny new belts! The HI-YAH Tag Belts, obviously. Jade and team soak up the energy of the crowd for a few seconds before Jade points the way on to the ring. Shayne and Tyler exchange a high-five over Ms. Rodez's head, before following their manager's directions like a good little team. BUFFER Being led towards the ring by their manager Ms. Jade Rodez...at a total combined weight of 397 pounds. They are the NEEEWW HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE and "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT... D*LLLLUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Not impressed by the rousing ovation are NRG and Mackenzie, the trio in self-imposed exile to distance themselves from the hype and hysteria inside the squared circle. NRG huddle with Mackenzie and under her orders hit the ring. In the costliest wardrobe malfuction since Janet Jackson's Super Bowl incident, Biff's HULA SKIRT gets caught in the ropes, causing Mackenzie to slap her forehead in disbelief. With a war cry that would make Mel Gibson proud Flex Phillps charges D*LUX, who themselves are caught up as they are in the process of removing their denim jackets. Shayne and Tyler put those plans on hold, ducking a double clothesline and bringing Flex down face-first on the rebound with stereo drop toeholds! The guys knock Biff out on the apron before tuning up the band, tapping their right foot three times on the mat as the crowd spontaneously breaks out in song. "OH, BABY, BABY!" "OH, BABY, BABY!" "OH, BABY, BABY!" Flex slowly gets up, turns...and gets his teeth kicked down his throat, figuratively speaking, with a DOUBLE SUPERKICK! HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!!! COACH Oh, no way. Shane and the crowd count along with the referee. ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING DING * "YEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" With a pop that usually comes with winning the tag titles, Jade celebrates with Shane and Tyler, both of whom express their desire for tag team gold by motioning around their waists...perhaps forgetting they're already wearing the HI-YAH Tag Titles. They hold the bottom rope up for Jade and follow her out, leaning on the top rope and floating over to the arena floor. CABOOSE Every tag team wants the championship. So many teams, so little belts. They're going to have to win it to earn it. COACH And D*LUX didn't earn their win tonight because it was 2 on 1, fellas. 2 on 1! COLE (laughing) D*LUX pick up the win in a OAOAST record 9 seconds with an assist from a hula skirt! They didn't even have to take off their denim jackets! BUFFER Here are your winners: D*.... Mackie rips the microphone out of Michael Buffer's hand and enters the ring. She kicks off her high heels and angerily stomps the canvas. MACKIE What is wrong with you guys?! How many losses is this now, hmm? How many? Can any one of you tell me? You can't. And you know why? Because you've lost count. You spend more time on your back than Jade Rodez does in a given night. "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" MACKIE (CONT'D) Look what happened here tonight. You managed to botch the simplest thing like attacking somebody from behind. If this was only a one time thing, then it wouldn't be a problem. You're only human, you make mistakes. It's cool. But it's not a one time thing is it? Oh no. It's an every god damn day thing. No longer do I approach each week, wondering how you're going to win your first match, no, I approach each week wondering how you're going to spectacularly fail at life. Quite frankly, I'm tired of your screw-ups. I have done everything in my power to make you superstars. For months, [i]for months[/i] I have spent my time and energy trying to mold you into the tag team your sponsor NRG Drinks and Supplements wanted. But what have they gotten in return? NOTHING. Absolutely nothing! Oh, excuse me. I stand corrected. They have gotten something in return. Two of the biggest jackasses the world has ever seen! David Blaine, a man who willingly spent seven days underwater, laughs at your idiocy. Caboose, a man who goes on national tv each week wearing makeup that makes him look like he's gender impersonating Liza Minelli, laughs at your idiocy. These people in the audience laugh at your idiocy! That's right, wrestling fans, the festering pimple inside society's ass crack, laugh at your idiocy. Think about that for a second. But what about me? Do I laugh? No. I weep at your idiocy. I wake up crying in the middle of the night because I'm the only one who seems to suffer from it. When is this all going to end, gentlemen? When is the rampant losing going to end? When will we stop spiraling down a bottomless pit of failure? At some point things have to get better, right? That's what I've told myself every day since you two choked against the Sk8r's in the Anderson Cup. "It's gotta get better! It's gotta improve! Things have gotta turn around! They can't get any worse!" Wrong! It always seems to get worse with you two! You always manage to sink to new levels of incompetence, and you drag me down with you into this den of blackness..this...this sea of mediocrity. I may be the captain of this misfit group, but it'll be cold day in hell before I go down with the NRG ship. I give you very simple tasks to perform, easy, no problem, even my grandmother could've done them, and she's been dead for ten years. But what happens? What do you half retarded apes invariably do? You screw up. You flop. You flop bigger then Elton John's musical [i]Lestat[/i]. Take Run For The Gold for instance, all you had to do was walk, you didn't even have to run, you could've walked briskly, through Krista's house and captured the 24/7 title. That's it. But that would've been too simple! That would've been too easy for the great and powerful Flex Phillips and Biff Atlas! So you had to drive lawn mowers into swimming pools, you had to fight cult celebrates! You had to make it into a show, into a big ol production. Well, guess what, meatheads? When the curtain closed on that show, neither of you brainless twits, were the 24/7 champion. Why? Because, you screwed up. Shocking, I know. At some point, I have to take a step back from the catastrophic disaster you two have reduced my life to, and ask myself is this really worth it? Is this really worth the emotional pain? The suffering? The years of therapy you will eventually drive me to? The nervous breakdown I'm destined to have? COLE Wow. That's a bit strong, in my opinion. CABOOSE Look at Flex and Biff. They're stunned by Mackenzine's rant. Indeed. They pled their case to Mackie, who tells them to talk to the hand. MACKIE I, Mackenzie DeCenzo, deserve better. No, greatness. Just look at me. Not only am I a sight to see, but, honey, I am dressed for success! You...heh...You two on the other hand look like you just walked off the set of some B-level porno film. I am a businesswoman. I can wheel and deal with the best of them. So I know when to cut my losses...like our business relationship for instance...it's over. OOOOOOOVERRRRRR! Mackie throws the microphone at the feet of NRG and heads to the corner, leaving Biff and Flex behind. Biff picks up the mic. COACH Did Mackenzie just quit as NRG's business consultant? COLE I believe so. BIFF It won't be that easy, DeCenzo. I think I speak for everyone in this arena when I say...what brand of shampoo do you use? Your hair is always soft and smells terriffic. I must know what your secret is. Flex takes the mic away from Biff, shaking his head. FLEX I think what my partner means is, you're a backstabbing bitch! I'm not gonna let you rape our pride. Yeah, men can be raped. I know because I'm one of them. COLE, CABOOSE & COACH :huh: FLEX I was home enjoying a fine dinner -- grilled chicken, steam vegies and a slice of garlic bread -- and a re-run of the 1978 World's Strongest Man contest on ESPN Classic when I decided to have a little snack. Don't be fooled, ladies and gentlemen. Inside the yellow peel of a banana lies a rapist. You see, just as I'm about to peel the banana the phone rings, so I put the banana down on the couch. It's Biff. He calls to let me know the 1978 World's Strongest Man contest is on ESPN Classic. I'm like, "Yeah, dude, I'm checkin' it out." The call ends and I go back to take a seat when I'm violated in my own home. I know some of you are thinking, how does a banana penetrated your pants/shorts. I wasn't wearing any. Some people like to walk around their house in the nude or in their underwear, I like to scoll around my crib in my jock strap. I call the police to inform them about the rape. They come out to the house and I let them know the rapist is still inside. I lead them to the banana and I'M arrest. You gotta be kidding me. Luckily I have some good lawyers. The system failed me once and I'll be damned if it's gonna fail me again. Now, I'm not gonna take my anger out on you, Mackie. Instead, how 'bout a little challenge? You said you could't make us superstars, right? Well why don't you go out and find two new studs you can "mold" into superstars, Mack, and we'll make you regret ditching us high and dry by beating your so-called "superstars" on Syndicated. COLE Oh, my. What a challenge. MACKIE Wait a sec. I need more time than that. FLEX Oh, come on. For a smart businesswoman like you, that shouldn't be a problem. Make a few calls if you must, or even lie on your back with your legs near you head if you have to. MACKIE Why, you...! BIFF What's a matter, too chicken? Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk! Hands on hip, Mackie has the ever popular "oh, no, you didn't" expression on her face. MACKIE All right. You're on. I have a few connections in the business. I'll go out and find my kind of people, a team I know I can count on to get the job done. You'll enjoy you're only brush with greatness on Syndicated. See ya in a few. CUE: "Adrenaline" COLE Ladies and gentlemen, please be sure to check your local listings for the premiere of OAOAST Syndicated. Just added: NRG vs. two men of Mackenzie DeCenzo's choosing! COACH The list of talent at Mackie's dispense is unlimited, fellas. There isn't a team out there who would turn down the opportunity to have Mackenzie DeCenzo as their business consultant. Syndicated is gonna be off the charts. COLE But we have more HeldDOWN~! still to come. [b][color=#FF0000]OAOAST SYNDICATED[/color] THIS [u]WEEKEND[/u] CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR TIME & DATE[/b] Edited May 10, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted May 9, 2006 I know I PMed you already, but whatever. Edited a little in the intros, nothing major but major enough. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
