SNL Review- featuring a report of my trip to SNL

[bob_barron 0]

SNL Review- Julia Louis-Dreyfus/Paul Simon

 

Sports Report-

 

Nets- I hope Clifford Robinson never ever suits up in a Nets uniform again.

 

Braves- They’ve been on a roll recently with all these insane comeback wins. With the Nets season over, I can again focus all my attention on them, and I look forward to seeing them capture #15.

 

Mailbag!!!!-

 

[email protected] writes-

 

Hey Bob-

 

This is Ken Hayashi again. I’ve been meaning to present this rant to

you for quite a while, but I’ve never considered it to be a big issue

until now.

 

What did you think about U2 winning all those Grammy awards a few

months ago? Do you think they deserved that much acclaim?

 

Many young music fans (i.e., the teens who take MTV as their Bible) are

always complaining about how U2 always win at the Grammys. They bitch

about how “old-timers” like U2 constantly “rob” younger, more deserving

acts like Green Day. They whine about how the Grammys continuously

ignore these younger artists in favor of “over-the-hill” artists “who

recycle the same crap over and over again.” They think fans of U2 or Paul

Simon are just hordes of “nostalgic adults who like to pay our respects

to old school.” They piss and moan about how the industry never lets up

on praising “boring, undeserving dinosaurs like U2 and Bruce

Springsteen.” They say that these dinosaurs need to “step aside and make way for

the new generation.” In short, they refer to the Grammys as “the

Grannies,” as the industry never seems to want to recognize fresher recording

artists.

 

Why do you think these teenyboppers have so much disdain for

“old-school” artists like U2 and Paul Simon? Why do these teenyboppers consider

the Grammys or the Video Music Awards as a testament of musical

achievement? Why do they readily gravitate toward crud like Fall Out Boy and My

Chemical Romance? Why can’t they be more like you and me, and accept of

all different types of music (you enjoy both Paul Simon and Hilary

Duff, for example)? Of course, these are the same type of kids that are

obsessed with the likes of Green Day, Mariah Carey, Gwen Stefani, and

Kelly Clarkson.

 

Personally, I think the Grammys are a joke and are a means of the

industry to give itself a kiss on the ass. I don’t care how many awards U2

has won or will win. I just wish young people would get a clue and

realize that there are aging artists in the music industry that are still

good- even after all these years. I don’t know why anyone should take the

Grammys or the VMAs seriously, anyway.

 

I understand to each is his own, but it seems as if many teenyboppers

blindly stereotype legendary artists like U2 and Bruce Springsteen

(though I’m not a fan of The Boss) just because they are “old.” What do you

think of this entire issue?

 

Later,

 

Ken

 

I didn’t even know it was an issue. I actually think U2 is very much accepted by people of teenage age, I mean, they’re insanely popular. And the Grammys has made an attempt to try to be more hip in recent years.

 

To be honest with you, I’ve just never really heard of a U2 backlash because their “old”, they have a ton of teenage fans.

 

[email protected] also writes-

 

Hey Bob-

 

What’s up? I’d like to get your honest opinions on what the future

holds for several of the current young female artists that have become

successful during the anti-Britney movement.

 

The early and mid-2000s gave us a series of female artists who are

regarded as anti-Britneys:

 

Hilary Duff

Avril Lavigne

Kelly Clarkson

Ashlee Simpson

Pink

Lindsay Lohan

 

With the whole teen-pop genre dead and gone, I was hoping if you could

predict the longevity of these six female artists in a music world

where people’s tastes are fickle and where trends are always changing.

 

Here are my own predictions-

 

Hilary and Lindsay are actresses- first and foremost. Lindsay’s music

has never gone anywhere- so we could easily rule her out as a serious

artist. Hilary has catered to mostly pubescent girls- so her success in

music is definitely almost over. Pink hasn’t had strong record sales

since 2002, and her new record is sinking fast on the charts- so her

career is hanging by a thread. Ashlee has been nothing but a joke, and I

foresee her going down the same path as Britney- getting married to some

loser and making babies all the time.

 

I’m really mixed on Kelly Clarkson. Yea- she has a very good voice. But

her songs are obviously of the bubblegum variety, and she uses the same

songwriters who wrote the Backstreet Boys’ music. Her songs have been

played into the ground by Top 40 radio so much that I’m getting sick of

her. People magazine has dubbed her a ‘future legend,’ which I think is

bullshit. I doubt she would’ve been this successful now if it weren’t

for American Idol. If her success doesn’t last, I won’t be upset.

 

I think Avril Lavigne is the only artist out of all of them who has a

truly bright future. She’s a hard worker, and she’s clearly better than

what she was during her skater-chick days. Unlike her contemporaries,

Avril is the only one who is critically acclaimed and shows the most

credibility. Her songs have improved and become less bubblegum since

getting rid of the ‘slick pop production’ that was all over Let Go.

Moreover, she’s managed to increase her audience to include both young and old

listeners, and she’s earned the respect of many critics and fans alike

(save for Polishuk). Now, if she could stop writing songs about bad

boyfriends, and if she stays away from doing cheesy cheerleader-type shit

like ‘Hollaback Girl’, Avril will have a lasting career. In the end, I

bet Avril will blow Kelly, Ashlee and the rest of them out of the

water.

 

What do you think, Bob? Which young female artist has the potential to

become a legend like U2 or Pearl Jam?

 

Later,

 

Ken

 

Of the artists you listed, Kelly and Avril have the best shot still making hit music down the road. Breakaway was a huge success, and I think she’s moved on from being known as that girl who won Idol. Avril achieved lots of credibility with the success of Under my Skin. LL’s second album tanked, Hilary’s wavering on whether she even wants to continue doing music, Ashlee has one-two left in her at most, and Pink will always be around, just not insanely successful.

 

Wanna be in the mailbag??? Email me at [email protected]

 

Cold Opening

Cast- Al Gore

Thoughts- Oh, so that’s where Al Gore went. It was weird seeing him on SNL but then I remembered that he’s friends with Paul Simon and is in the global warming doc. There were some funny lines here, like Al Gore talking about the oil dependency and capturing Osama Bin Laden. This went on a bit too long and having to listen to Al Gore talk always gets monotonous. ***1/4

 

Monologue

Cast- Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Thoughts- Julia Louis-Dreyfus did not look comfortable in that dress. Not that I’m complaining, but I feel it’s my duty as a reviewer to point it out. Julia’s encounter with Jason was really funny, as I loved seeing Jason act like George again. I have to say, as much as I love Jerry Seinfeld, his bit at the end was not funny at all. They could do better. And the bit with the light just missing Julia was stolen from the ending of Get Over It where Colin Hanks hooks up with the big breasted hottie who has bad luck. She claims her bad luck is over and as she walks away- a light falls. Hey, if you’re going to steal, steal from one of my favourite movies. ***

 

Tech Pack

Cast- Kristin Wiig, Jason Sudeikis

Thoughts- They had this in last weeks dress. A funny idea, and Sudeikis rocked it. I loved him pointing out that you can control it all with one push of a button. ***1/4

 

Homeless Guy

Cast- Louis-Dreyfus, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Bill Hader, Sudeikis Thoughts- This was performed in the Billy Bob Thorton dress rehearsal on November 17th, 2001. The homeless guy was Billy Bob Thorton, and the female who wasn’t getting any love was Rachel. The Billy Bob Thorton is one of the best shows I’ve ever seen, and then I came home, and found out that they gutted that show. Still a great show, but take out fenced in area and put in anything else, and you have an amazing show. Anyway, making Rachel the ugly chick instead of Julia Louis-Dreyfus would’ve made a lot more sense. I wasn’t really feeling this too much the second time around, but Bill Hader saying he wanted to take a dump on her stomach had me dying in dress and was probably one of the lines of the night. ***

 

Morning Show

Cast- Louis-Dreyfus, Horatio Sanz, Fred Armisen, Wiig

Thoughts- This is one of those skits that really shouldn’t have been that funny, but it was. I loved Julia accidentally walking onto the set earlier, yelling out “IN A POOL OF MY OWN URINE”, the bit with Fred and the Stan bit, and of course:

 

“You’re from New York right?”

“No.”

 

Gotta dock some points though. Fart jokes, in the year 2006, just aren’t funny and they cut the best line from dress. During all the tomfoolery of the music, Julia said something about getting her period and it was really out there and really really funny. ***1/2

 

MySpace

Cast- Louis-Dreyfus, Will Forte, Seth Meyers, Chris Parnell, Sanz, Finesse Mitchell, Bill Hader, Andy Samberg

Thoughts- According to Will Forte, Paul Simon rehearsed for this skit. This caused me to almost flip out and kill someone since Paul Simon playing a pedophile would’ve been the awesome. And it would finally answer what him and Julio were really doing down by the schoolyard. Even without the presence of Simon, this was hilarious. From the moustaches, to Will’s mock typing, to Seth’s Dateline question, to Bill’s exchange with Samberg, this had a lot of great lines and moments. Some stuff didn’t work like the Chad Michael Murray exchange and the ending. In fact I thought the ending was better in dress, where Julia asked Horatio out. Really did a good job of paying off her naivety. This was great, and all the guys gave really good performances. And it should be noted that according to MS Word, in Canadian English pedophile is spelled paedophile. ****

 

Paul Simon ‘How Can You Live in the Northeast’

Thoughts- In dress, Simon played his songs in different order. I don’t get why, since Outrageous is the more high energy song. Still, I love this song and it’s a great way to kick off the album. While he looks very old, Simon seemed to be really enjoying himself on stage and he had a really good band as well. What can I say, I love Paul Simon and it was just amazing getting to see him perform live at SNL. ****1/4

 

WU

Cast- Gore, Fey, Poehler, Armisen, Mitchell, Samberg, Sudeikis

Thoughts- I know I’m sounding like a broken record, but I liked WU a lot better in dress. Finesse’s commentary was much longer and much funnier. Here it was just gutted and he didn’t have enough of a chance to truly shine. Samberg’s commentary was flat and should’ve been cut after dress. Gore v. Poehler was alright, but Gore really should’ve just said the ignorant slut line instead of Amy. The bit with Wolfgang Fey was the best non-joke bit and Fred was great. The jokes were lame, but that’s too be expected. This had some potential, but just couldn’t deliver. **1/4

 

Charades

Cast- Louis-Dreyfus, Poehler, Armisen, Hammond, Forte, Rudolph, Parnell

Thoughts- Darrell told us about this skit on Friday and I was really looking forward to it, and it didn’t disappoint. Kenan was hilarious as Nipsey Russell, getting all the best lines. “That’s a oriental massage,” was great. I think in dress Forte played Mark Spitz. Fred as Carlin was alright, and I liked the interaction between Darrell and Parnell. The bit with Parnell making Julia do the charade for longer was also funny. Game show parodies- gotta love them. ***3/4

 

Unsolved Mysteries

Cast- Louis-Dreyfus, Parnell, Forte, Hammond, Armisen, Hader

Thoughts- This show has been on such a huge roll that I’ll forgive this one. This one tried to be cute, but just came off as really really stupid. Darrell’s Robert Stack impression at the end was quite random. *1/2

 

Paul Simon ‘Outrageous’

Thoughts- This is my favourite song off Surprise, with Father and Daughter and Beautiful next on the list. The song is just classic Paul and it was an excellent performance. Brian Eno did an excellent job producing this track, it really flows very well. But go buy Surprise, you really won’t regret it. ****1/2

 

SNL Digital Short

Cast- Forte, Samberg

Thoughts- Yawn. They would’ve been much better off running the Lobsterclaw one. **

 

The Bottom Line- The avg. skit was ***.21 making this easily the best show of the year and just a tremendous show from top to bottom. The show was assisted by an excellent musical guest, but had good solid skits from top to bottom. Having seen the dress, it was a well laid out show. They cut all the skits that didn’t work, and made sure to fit in everything that did play well. Julia Louis-Dreyfus was an excellent host, Paul Simon was an amazing musical guest, and this show just had a great lineup of skits with funny premises that delivered on execution. I hope SNL can keep the momentum and go out with a bang for the finale.

 

Thumbs Up

 

 

And now the trip report-

 

SNL Trip Report-

 

When we last left me at the standby line, I met Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg, saw a horse with a massive erection, and somehow was able to see the dress rehearsal.

 

I arrived at the line around two. I was iffy on doing standby this week since I had been feeling ill, Al Roker called for rain and I was seeing Paul Simon in July. But I love Paul Simon to death and well, damnit!, I was going to wait in line for him.

 

Unlike last week where the line was insane, I had a very good spot. Not much happened during the day, I hung out with my fellow standbyers and sang along to Closer on someone’s headphones. Got looks when I sang the chorus too. Bill Hader came by and was his usual awesome self. We talked for a while and I found out that he was a Tulsan. He said he was not a Sooner fan since he’s not that into sports.

 

Conan was in Chi-town this week so there was no waiting for Conan guests, but I did get to see Brian Williams. And Chuck Scarborough dropped his blackberry, and I was there to pick it up. What was amazing was that it had not rained once and was a very nice day out. Take that Al Roker. Tony Perkins would’ve got the weather correctly.

 

A Friday afternoon of chewing chicken led into a Friday of waiting for the cast. We found out a bunch of castmembers went out the 50th street side which was disheartening. I achieved a milestone by finally meeting Andy Samberg. Of course, I finally meet Andy and I talked about Paul Simon. Got a picture though.

 

Fred came out and was cool as always. We talked about Paul Simon’s album. We also saw Kenan, Rachel and Maya. I made sure to say hi to Kenan, the other two…not so much.

 

Tina came out and she said she’s hopeful her pilot gets picked up. I do too, but probably for a different reason then she does. She did confirm that Alec Baldwin is indeed hilarious. I found out Julia Louis-Dreyfus went out the other way and was not very nice.

 

Horatio came out, holding a stick. Why? I don’t know. Everyone wanted the stick, so we broke it into pieces, and I got one. Then, the craziest thing happened- Bill Hader, who had gone out on 50th st, CAME BACK. Yea, Bill’s really nice. He stayed with the standbys for a long time and was really cool. So kudos go out to Bill Hader (eww I sound like myspace) to being awesome.

 

I saw Lorne and my friend CGA got a picture. This becomes important later. And that was it for the cast coming down.

 

I passed the time till 7 by getting updates on my Nets, which resulted in a long stream of profanity. I also bonded with a father and son who were fans of…wait for it…the Indiana Pacers. Yes, I made friends with Pacer fans. Last week it was a Habs fan, this week, a Pacers fan. I await to see who I bond with next week.

 

I also got to see- the greatest prom ever! This bus stopped down the street from the line and I saw girls stagger off a bus with friends making sure they didn’t fall.

 

I realised I could’ve just said they were drunk, but it was awesome. There were all these kids sitting on the sidewalk surrounded by people trying to undrunk them I guess. I of course stopped by and watched the whole thing. The highlight was some boobage, and a girl staggering off a bus, almost falling over about 10 times and throwing up right in front of me. Sadly, she was too drunk to give me her number. Finally someone realised that people would just be throwing up irregardless, so they took some bags on the bus and decided if anyone spews, they’ll just do it in the bag.

 

This prompted me to remark: Have a nice trip back!

 

Kenny Rogers was going to be on Weekend Today, and his tour buses were parked across the standby line. Around 6, he got out of the bus to heavy cheers. I mean, he’s the freaking Gambler. I went over to see his soundcheck, and after he performed the Gambler, I yelled: Kenny you’re the man! Kenny turned around and gave me a wave.

 

Awesome.

 

Finally it was 7 am, and the page came to distribute the tickets. I was #6 for dress.

 

Later that night-

 

I went back to the show hoping to get in. I’m always nervous before they take us up, but given my love for Paul Simon, I was pretty much on the verge of a heart attack. One of the pages saw me chewing nervously on my Nets cap and was like: Oh you’ll get in and I yelled, “DON’T JINX IT!”

 

They took an extra long time to let us know and I was on the verge of having a triple bypass. People kept looking at me and I said, “You don’t get it. It’s Paul Simon.”

 

I finally heard, “Send 15 up!”

 

Thank You God.

 

And now here’s-

 

What…..Got….Cut….

 

A Letter from the Iranian Prime Minister

Cast- Dreyfus, Armisen

 

Fred is the Iranian Prime Minister and dictates letters to Bush, Israel, the New Yorker and a shampoo company. A few funny Jewish jokes, but this skit just fell flat.

 

Noonies

Cast- Dreyfus, Armisen, Sudeikis, Rudolph

Thoughts- Yea, this was bad. The highlight was poor Jason having to get into a tank of water and get all wet.

 

Shaggy Dog

Cast- Dreyfus, Samberg, Poehler, Sudeikis

Thoughts- A group of people try to come up with a tagline of the Shaggy Dog. You could tell this was getting cut about 3 seconds in.

 

Immigrants

Cast- Al Gore, Poehler, Sudeikis, Rudolph

Thoughts- This was the same thing they aired last week with Hanks, except with Gore introducing it.

 

SNL Digital Short

Cast- Antonio Banderas, Meyers, Samberg

Thoughts- This was the same digital short they aired last week. I really like it, I don’t know why it gets cut.

 

Bush Commemorative Plates

Thoughts- An advert for plates commemorating the great moments in Bush history, like the time he received a Dale Earnhardt Commemorative Plate. The joke was that on every bad day in American history, Bush was happy b/c of something superficial. And well, they put it on a plate. They had an easy 9/11 joke and didn’t go for it. For shame.

 

After the show…..

 

I arrived back to SNL at 1:10. I would’ve arrived earlier, but I forgot I live in the city with the worst subway system and it took forever.

 

As I was walking back, I ran into Paul Simon’s guitarist. We talked for a few minutes, and since I didn’t see Paul, he got my Paul Simon fandom story. He said he’d be playing with him on tour.

 

I went in and waited for people to come down. I saw a few castmembers, and got Kenan to say: There’s motherfucking snakes on this plane!

 

Jason and Bill were both impressed/probably freaked out by me remembering that homeless guy was from the Billy Bob Thorton dress.

 

Al Gore came down but said there were too many people to take pictures with (whatever) and left. I said he was a good senator.

 

And then, complete awesomeness…..

 

JENNA FUCKING FISCHER came out, with BJ Novak and Angela Martin.

 

This was like John Krasinki times ten, or maybe times 20. The Office is now my favourite show, and the Pam-Jim storyline is the best thing on TV, and thus I LOVE Jenna Fischer. So seeing her out of nowhere was easily the highlight of the weekend. I got a picture and we talked for a few moments and I was really excited. I told her how much I loved the Office finale and how awesome the Jim-Pam kiss was. Because really, if you saw that and didn’t instantly realise that the Office is amazing, you should never form an opinion ever.

 

Angela was really nice as well, and I complimented her on her Dwight slap. Ryan once punked Hilary, so he got compliments for that. They had to go to the party so we couldn’t keep them for too long, but seeing three Office castmembers, holy shit.

 

I saw Lorne Michaels and asked for a picture. He said, “Didn’t we do this yesterday?” I was hurt that he mistook me for my friend CGA, but I explained to him that I took the picture, but was not in the picture. He was fascinated.

 

Some more castmembers came down, and then shock of shocks of shocks, we saw Julia Louis-Dreyfus. The host never comes down the main way, but she did. After hearing how much of a bitch she was all week, I pleasantly surprised to see that she was really nice. She took pictures with everyone and was fun to talk to. She seemed to appreciate the fact that I liked Watching Ellie. Brad Hall stood off to the side, and we got pictures with him too. I told him I liked the Single Guy.

 

Just so y’all don’t think I’m retarded, I did not actually like the Single Guy.

 

I went outside and saw Will Forte and Chris Parnell. I got a pic with Will and said hi to Chris.

 

And with everyone having left, I realised my SNL weekend was done. It was another success, since I got to see Paul Simon, who was amazing, and got to meet Jenna Fischer, which was also amazing, and I saw a drunk girl throw up in front of me, and that’s really amazing.

 

See you guys next week!

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

I think better than Paul Simon as a MySpace pedophile would have been MySpace Tom.