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SWF Smarkdown - 8-28-2006

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After the high energy intro, the lovely red and white pyrotechnics display and a pan across the witty Canadian crowd signs we go straight to the ring where Bruce Blank, Professor Attenborough and Nemesis are standing by.


“You know I have a reputation of not being that bright” Bruce starts out almost as if he was mid thought, noticed the camera and then just continued his thought verbally.




The crowd cheers this statement because well Bruce isn’t that bright, the only one that disagrees is the professor who shakes his head.


“Oh that’s funny” Bruce says without a hint of actually being sincere “Was it funny on Lockdown when the supposed “Thinking man’s wrestler” got outsmarted? Was it funny when Jay Hawke ended up stuck between a rock and a hard place??”




Actually it was funny and if it hadn’t been Bruce and Nemesis involved but two people that the fans liked that would have torn the roof off the place, but still Hawke-hate is very much present tonight.


“See Deano you and everyone else in this federation think they have me pegged right? I’m just some rube who likes to hit people with chairs and wrap them with barbwire, I can’t be very good and I certainly don’t deserve the International title”




“SHUT UP!! I’m trying to work here, I don’t come down to where you work and tell you how to sick *BEEP*”




Bruce can’t help but grin, he’s playing the crowd like a fiddle tonight – Canadian crowds are usually so damn predictable after all.


“You thought you were so damn clever picking this man” Bruce points to Nemesis “To be your partner didn’t you? When a man of this size enters a federation comprised mostly of midgets don’t you think I notice?? Don’t you think that the first thing I did after he destroyed Ced Ordonez was go to the Professor and strike a deal?”


“It’s been a pleasure doing business with you Bruce” The Professor says with a smile


“I could not believe it when the professor told me that YOU had approached him Hawke, it was too good to pass up. How does it feel to be left behind, destroyed by our trail of destruction Hawke?”




“Maybe now people will stop going on and on about how you did this, that and the other with the International title”


The professor interrupts Bruce for a second.


“I’m not so sure Bruce, people tend to have one track minds” The professor starts out “But of course there is one way to MAKE them stop talking about Jay Hawke and make them start talking about Bruce Blank”


Bruce ponders the comment for a while, then he nods.


“You’re right, there is only one thing to do – HAWKE!! Here it is, instead of you talking about how great you are, instead of me standing here saying how I’ll kick your ass how about we get in that ring and settle it?”




“Genesis VII! You and me and if, no strike that – WHEN I walk out of here tonight with the International title I’ll even put it on the line against you. When I kick your ass it will conclusively prove that I am the best damn International champion ever!!”


“Huge, huge match King!” Mak says as he cannot be silent any longer


“I’m there!”


“For those of you that think that the big guy and myself were a one night thing you’re going to be in for a rude awakening” Bruce says and points at Nemesis who slowly nods.


“I’ve had partners that’s let me down, turned on me or been side tracked by other things, but Nemesis – Nemesis isn’t like anyone else I’ve ever met.” Bruce says making the most head-slappingly obvious statement of the year wink.gif “Which is why I knew he’d be the perfect partner, which is why I know that together we will leave a path of destruction everywhere we go.”


“Bruce Nemesis has something he wants to say” the Professor says.


Bruce turns and looks up at the big man, eagerly anticipating Nemesis speaking, but when the professor said “something to say” he didn’t mean verbally but instead in the form of a gesture as the big man holds his giant paw out, offering it to Bruce as a gesture of friendship.


“That’s got to be the professor’s doing” Mak says


“Why? You don’t think anyone would shake Bruce’s hand voluntarily?”


Bruce just grins and then shakes the big man’s hand.


“SWF we’re putting you on warning: don’t get in our way or you’ll be at Ground Zero for these Weapons of Mass Destruction” the professor says as the two big men shake hands.


After shaking Nemesis hand Bruce takes the microphone once more, unstraps the International title and drapes it over his shoulder.


“Which brings me to my last point tonight – Spike”




“I couldn’t agree more” Bruce says with a grin




“Now you’ve been very vocal, I’ve heard you yapping like a damn Chihuahua nipping at it’s master’s feet to get some attention, but seriously I just didn’t care enough to pay attention. In the year I’ve been in the SWF I’ve done more than you have in all your time in the SWF or the JL”


“I wouldn’t say that” Mak interjects


“Kills ya doesn’t it Spike? To know that I hold a title that you AT Best held 12.5% off once” Bruce says and taps the International title. “To know that the closest you’ll ever get to my level is to challenge for the title but never go beyond that”


“Are you saying that Spike doesn’t have a chance?”


“Well no I mean I could slip in a puddle of beer and break my leg” Bruce says with a grin


“Or you could get run over by a car sometime between now and your title match” the professor adds


“Good point, someone take Spike’s keys away – desperate men do desperate things after all and even Spike knows that that’s the only chance he’ll have against me. In fact I’m contemplating suing Joseph Peters and Spike Jenkins for wasting my time with this when there are much more deserving challengers out there – Where is Martin Hunt’s title shot? How about giving Pierre Donette a much deserved title match?”




“And why the hell am I wasting time on you people?” Bruce says and looks at the professor, when neither can think of a reason they both shrug their shoulders and then leave the ring followed closely behind by Nemesis


“You heard it here first fans” Mak says


“Yeah Spike is getting sued!”


“That’s not what I meant King and honestly I think Bruce is taking Jenkins much too lightly”


“Yeah YOU would” The Suicide King says and looks at Mak Francis’ wheelchair as we fade out.

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The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...
Live, Monday, August 28th, from the Bell Centre in Montreal, QC!
(7pm PST, 10pm EST; check local listings)



Michael Stephens © vs. Jimmy the Doom ©

-> Talk about a rollercoaster ride for Jimmy the Doom! In a #1 Contenders Match, he takes down the terribly impressive Jay Hawke to become the next challenger for the World Heavyweight Championship! But just a week later, in a warm-up match against Michael's sister Amy, Jimmy seemed poised to take the win when The Crimson Skull appeared and beat the crap out of him, resulting in a no contest! And his luck ends up going from bad to worse as, on Lockdown, Jimmy was defeated by another #1 Contender, Spike Jenkins! With his momentum essentially ground to a halt, does Jimmy stand a chance against the likes of Michael Stephens?!
Rules: Standard singles match.


Bruce Blank © vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins

-> A little over a month ago, Bruce Blank entered himself into the SWF's International Championship Open Invitational. He bested the likes of Zyon, Akira Kaibatsu, Michael Cross, and Spike Jenkins himself to capture the vacant title, and since then he's pretty much had a deathgrip on it. Now, Spike Jenkins gets a second chance at the one who got away - will Bruce prove once and for all that he's out of Spike's league? Or can Spike capture the gold, and knock Bruce off his pedestal?

And seeing as how we're in Canada, you had to know a Lumberjack match was coming sooner or later. :P

Rules: Considering the heel-to-face ratio in the SWF is a little out of wack right now, a lumberjack limit must be imposed. Spike and Bruce will be allowed to pick any FIVE (5) competitors from the SWF to be their lumberjacks. Each group stands on opposite sides of the ring, and gets to pound whoever gets tossed out, as always. Otherwise, standard singles match, first pin/submission to win, DQ's are in effect for illegal objects in such.


Birdman vs. Zyon

-> Mad cruiserweight action. 'nuff said.
Rules: Standard, with Cruiser addenda.


Charlie "Grappler" Matthews vs. Mike Van Siclen

-> Grappler, none too pleased with the loss of his Tag Team Championship, looks to take his anger out on an equally angerful Mike Van Siclen, who's had it up to here* with his nemesis Wildchild! Two hot heads collide in the opening bout!
Rules: Standard singles match.

* about neck-level


Opening Promo: Bruce Blank and Nemesis!


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SWF Commissioner Joseph Peters looks up from his paperwork. “Excuse me?”


“LOOK WHAT HE DID TO ME!” bellows Mike Van Siclen, pointing to the stitches above his right eye. “And then, today, he iced the floor of my locker room; I nearly busted my (bleep)-ing skull open!”


Peters stares at Van Siclen incredulously. “Birdman iced the floor of your locker room?”


“No! I mean… yes! I mean… I think so!”


Peters rolls his eyes. “Well, which is it?”


“Look,” Van Siclen rifles through his pocket and fishes out a small note, which he tosses at Peters. “This was in my locker room.” Peters looks at the note, which reads:



“It’s a bitch, ain’t it?


Speaking of bitches, stop being one, and fight me!


- WC


Peters fights down a chuckle. “I thought you just said that Birdman did it?”


“He did!” blurts Van Siclen. “I mean, I think he did… I mean, Wildchild’s the Birdman!”


“Come again?”


“I said that Wildchild’s the Birdman,” repeats Van Siclen. “He’s violating his suspension by wrestling in that bird suit, and you need to fire him!”


“Now, wait just a minute, Van Siclen,” warns Peters. “That’s a pretty strong accusation; do you have any proof?”


“What do you mean, proof?” roars MVS. “The Birdman hit me with a chair last week! How much proof do you need?”


“That’s a little circumstantial, if you ask me,” says Peters.


“Circumstantial? When have I ever crossed paths with Birdman? Never, that’s when!” insists Van Siclen. “I’m telling you that it’s him; it HAS to be!”


“Well, your ‘irrefutable’ logic notwithstanding, I’m going to need more proof than that before taking any action.”


“So, just look at his contract,” snaps Van Siclen. “It has to say who it is, right?”


“I’m afraid not,” replies Peters. “You see, Birdman’s contract was negotiated by a previous administration; he’s just operating under an extension.”


“So what?”


“So,” explains Peters, “his contract does not specify who he is underneath that mask, and the terms of the contract forbid me from asking him.”


“Are you (bleep)-ing kidding me?” asks MVS incredulously. “Are you telling me that there’s nobody in this company who knows who he really is?”


“Well, I didn’t say that,” replies Peters. “Alex Zenon was the interim commissioner when Birdman was initially signed and, of course, he’s since stepped down from this office and returned to his previous position as a road agent.”


“Fine,” Van Siclen says wearily. “Let me talk to Zenon, then.”


“I’m afraid that I can’t do that.”


“What? Why the (bleep) not?”


“Because he’s not here.”


“Well, where the hell is he?” demands Van Siclen.






“I got word of a few prospects while we were on the World Tour,” explains Peters, “and I asked Zenon and a couple of other agents to stick around and scout them further for me… he won’t be back until some time next month.”


“And there isn’t anybody else in this (bleep)-ing company that knows who the Birdman really is?”


“Well,” replies Peters, “you can try his agent.”


“And who is that?”

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“Our next match will feature high-flying cruiserweight action,” says Mak Francis, “as the Unique Youth, Zyon, makes his first in-ring appearance since he lost an attempt to become the first three-time World Cruiserweight Champion, as he takes on the Birdman! King, this match could go a long way towards establishing a number-one contender to Tom Flesher’s World Cruiserweight Title!”


“You say that like it’s a good thing,” replies the Suicide King. “I don’t like this kid Zyon; he reminds me too much of Wildchild, with his ridiculous flipping and flopping. And Birdman? The very thought of a guy dressed in a bird costume competing against Tom Flesher for the Cruiserweight Title makes me a little ill!”


“King, don’t you think that you’re being a little hard on him?” asks Mak. “I’m sure that Birdman is a nice kid.”


“You think so, huh?” retorts King. “Well, if he’s such a nice kid, then why is he hiding behind a mask?”


“Well, maybe he just wants to keep his identity a secret so that he can go out in public without being recognized.”


“Don’t be an idiot,” replies King. “Nobody comes to the SWF that doesn’t want to get recognized!”


Mak looks confused. “What do you mean by that, King?”


“The SWF is the premier wrestling promotion in the entire world,” explains King. “The very best wrestlers in the entire world come here to prove themselves and, in the process of proving themselves, many of our stars have become household names: Tom Flesher, Robert Jackson Frost, Taylor Nicholas Thompson, Danny Williams, El Luchadore Magnifico, Chris Wilson, Jay Hawke, Edwin MacPhisto, Nathaniel Kibagami, Michael Stephens, Erek Taylor, The Boston Strangler, Mark Stevens, Andrew Blackwell… these are names known the world over…”


“Geez,” mutters Mak, “maybe you’d like to drop a few more names?”


“Don’t interrupt me, Francis!” snaps King. “One more word out of you, and I’ll have you back on the corner hawking t-shirts like you were when I found you! Anyway… the point is that nobody comes here that doesn’t want to make a name for himself. Wrestlers come to the SWF for three reasons: the competition, the fame, and the money. If he wanted to wrestle in obscurity in a second-rate promotion for no money, he’d be in the OAOAST right now!”


“Yikes!” says Mak, cringing. “That was kind of a low blow, King!”


“Don’t act like you weren’t thinking the same thing,” replies King. Mak shrugs his response, and King continues, “As I was saying, wrestlers come to the SWF to become recognized, so when someone is wearing a mask here, it has to mean that people already know who he is, and he’s trying to keep people from recognizing him!”


“That’s quite an interesting leap in logic,” says Mak. “Speculation notwithstanding, this should really be a great, fast-paced match, by two of the top cruisers in the game. So, without further ado, let’s send it up to the ring!






“The following Cruiserweight Rules match is scheduled for one fall!” booms Funyon. Suddenly, “Let’s Get Retarded” by the Black Eyed Peas begins to play, and Birdman dances his way onto the stage, to the cheers of nearly fifteen thousand fans.


Birdman: CAW-CAW!

Crowd: CAW-CAW!


“Making his way to the ring at this time,” continues Funyon, “from Parts unknown, and weighing in at two hundred nineteen pounds… the Bird-man!” Birdy slaps hands with the fans at ringside as he dances his way down the ramp. He hops onto the ring apron and runs to the nearby corner, climbing up to the top turnbuckle and saluting the fans with his signature birdcall:


Birdman: CAW-CAW!

Crowd: CAW-CAW!


“Birdman definitely has a connection with this crowd,” notes Francis. “I’ve never actually heard him speak, but he has such a magnetic personality that the fans are drawn to him. Uh… no pun intended.” Birdman removes his cloth “wings” and hands them over the top rope down to the ring attendant. He then waits patiently for his opponent as his music fades out. Within seconds, the entire Bell Centre grows completely dark, save for a string of short sentences alternating across the SmarkTron:


I’m Born…



I’m Alive…



I Breathe…



Suddenly, “Vitamin” by Incubus begins playing, and the fans’ cheering begins anew as they wait for the Unique Youth to grace them with his presence.


“His opponent,” continues Funyon, as Zyon finally emerges from behind the curtain, “hails from Elkhart, Indiana! Weighing two hundred pounds… the Unique Youth… ZYYYYY-ON!” Zyon sprints down the ramp and leaps onto the apron before grabbing onto the top rope and flipping into the ring.


“I know I said it before, King,” says Mak, as Zyon runs over to the corner, “but this could be one hell of a match! You’ve got Zyon, who’s proven to everyone here in the SWF that he can do it all inside that ring, and you can’t sleep on the Birdman, either: he’s one of the top high-fliers in this business, and he’s gotten some big wins over some big names here in the SWF, most recently against the former Cruiserweight Champion, ‘Iron’ Mike Cross!” Zyon climbs up to the second ropes and poses for the crowd, devouring their adulation, until his music finally fades out. Referee Red Herrington signals to the timekeeper to start the match:







“There’s the bell!” shouts Mak. “And this match is underway!” Zyon and Birdman meet in the center of the ring for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, and Birdy quickly hooks his arm underneath Zyon’s, popping his hips as he snaps backwards and taking the Unique Youth over with a Japanese-style armdrag! Zyon nods his head in acknowledgement as he gets back to his feet, and the two meet once again in the center of the ring. This time, Zyon takes control with a side-headlock; Birdman backs him against the ropes and pushes him across the ring. Birdy leaps into the air to evade Zyon with a leapfrog as he bounces off the ropes, and then hooks him underneath the arm as he rebounds a second time to take him over with a hiptoss, but the Unique Youth rolls through and counters with a hiptoss of his own! Zyon taunts Birdman by holding his arms skyward, his elbows slightly bent, as the Bird gets back to his feet.


“A little back and forth action by both men to let them know who they’re dealing with,” says Mak. “And this could be a tough matchup up for Zyon, King: he’s not really used to competing against guys that can match his speed!”


“And Birdman is?”


“Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say used to it,” replies Mak, “but we do know that he’s faced opponents that can match his speed before, like Andrea Montgomery. We also know that Birdman has a reputation for studying his opponents thoroughly before each match!” Birdman and Zyon lock up in the ring once again, and Zyon muscles Birdy back into a neutral corner, where referee Herrington calls for the break. Zyon takes a couple of steps back before surprising Birdy with a slap in the face!






“What a slap!” exclaims King. “Zyon got his attention with that one!”


“Well, Zyon is known to be a little cocky at times,” adds Mak. “Maybe he thinks that the Birdman isn’t on his level!” Zyon backs Birdman into the corner a second time; he draws back his arm to deliver another slap…






… And Birdman blocks him and fires back with a slap of his own! Zyon steps towards him, but Birdy takes him over with a drop toehold that nearly sends the Unique Youth face-first into the bottom turnbuckle! Zyon pops back up to his feet, only to be greeted by another slap from the Birdman!


“Another shot across the kisser!” shouts Mak. “Well, Zyon wanted Birdman’s attention, and it looks like he has it!”


“And Zyon is a guy that’s really into himself,” adds King. “He a little bit cocky, and he’s definitely concerned with his image, so you know that he’s not going to take too many more of those!”


Birdy and Zyon lock up again in the center of the ring. “King, I heard you backstage saying that you may actually have some insight into who the Birdman really is under that mask.” Zyon backs Birdman into the ropes and stuns him with a few kneelifts into the midsection.


“Yeah, that’s right,” replies King, as Zyon snaps Birdman’s head back with a well-placed forearm to the chin. “I’m not going to go on the record just yet, because I don’t like to state facts until I know for sure.” Zyon grabs Birdman by the wrist and whips him across the ring.”


“Well, one thing that we definitely know as a fact is that Birdman laid Mike Van Siclen out with a steel chair last week on Lockdown!” Zyon hooks his arm underneath Birdman’s as he bounces off the ropes and sends him over in a hiptoss… but the Bird lands on his feet and scoops the surprised Zyon into a slam!


“Whoa!” shouts Mak, as Zyon scrambles to his feet. “Beautiful counter for the hiptoss!” Birdy catches Zyon as he gets up and drops him down with another scoop slam!”


“Does that counter even have a name?” wonders King, as Birdman pulls Zyon to his feet and delivers a standing dropkick that sends Zyon through the ropes and out of the ring! Birdman runs across the ring as Zyon is getting back to his feet, picking up speed as he bounces off the ropes, and dives feet-first towards the opposite edge of the ring, blasting Zyon in the face with a baseball slide that knocks him backwards into the ring barricade!


“Birdman has really picked up the pace here!” shouts Mak, as Birdman quickly gets to his feet and runs over to the nearby corner; he leaps onto the top turnbuckle and waits for Zyon to start to get back up before leaping out to the arena floor…






… And blasting the Unique Youth between the eyes with a flying double-axe handle! Birdman pulls Zyon back to his feet and stuns him with a pair of European-style uppercuts before rolling him back into the ring.


“This could be a major upset we’re looking at here,” says King, as Birdman climbs back onto the apron.


“What do you mean?” asks Mak.


“Well, I said before that I think I know who the Birdman is…”




“But let’s suppose, for the sake of argument, that I’m wrong,” continues King, as Birdman returns to the ring and traps Zyon in an arm-wringer. “If you look at it that way, it’s definitely an upset if Birdman wins here tonight; I mean, Zyon is a two-time World Cruiserweight Champion!”


Birdy delivers a stiff reverse knife-edge chop to Zyon and then shifts the arm-wringer into an armbar, but the Unique Youth backs him into a neutral corner. “Zyon’s trying to get his thoughts together here, King; he was a little taken aback, I think!”


“He’s got him in that corner now, though,” replies King. “He can make the most of that strength advantage when he has Birdman trapped with no place to go!” Zyon grabs Birdman by the wrist and whips him across the ring, but the Bird out-leverages him and sends him into the corner instead; Zyon nimbly leaps onto the top turnbuckle and springs back into the ring with a sensational corkscrew body attack…






… But, the second he leaves the top turnbuckle, the equally-quick Birdman dives towards the edge of the ring, sliding underneath the bottom rope to the apron as the Unique Youth crashes and burns in the center of the ring! Birdman quickly pulls himself back to his feet and races to the nearby corner, leaping onto the top turnbuckle and waiting for Zyon to start to stand up before leaping back into the ring and drilling Zyon with another flying double-axe handle!


“Birdman’s been very effective with that double-axe handle in this match!” says Mak, as Birdy goes for a cover:


















“I like the fact that he keeps it simple,” says King. “I mean, if you have to go to the top rope, at least have the self-control to concentrate on doing the most damage, instead of just being flashy for the sake of being flashy, which guys like Zyon and Wildchild tend to do!” Birdman pulls Zyon to his feet and traps him in a front facelock, before reaching down to grab the near leg and immediately taking him over with a snap suplex! Birdman gets to his feet and returns to the apron, climbing up to the top rope and quickly leaping back into the ring…






… Smashing into Zyon’s forehead with a suicide headbutt! Birdman covers him again:
















“I’m starting to think that Zyon wasn’t quite ready for this!” says King, as Birdy pulls him back up and scoops him up into a slam. “I don’t think he did his homework on this guy!” The Bird quickly backs into the nearby corner and pulls himself up to the middle turnbuckles before leaping back towards the Unique Youth, blasting him with a flying fistdrop! Birdman tries to cover him again:













“Nice to see that Zyon still had presence of mind to kick out of that,” says Mak. “That was also some good ring awareness to kick out at one!”


“Definitely,” agrees King. “You never want to take a chance with that three-count if you’re capable of kicking out at one, especially with as incompetent as Herrington has been here lately!” Birdman pulls Zyon to his feet and grabs him by the back of the head, leading him over towards the edge of the ring, and then leaping over the top rope as he slams the Unique Youth’s neck into it with a Macho Man neck snap!


“Devastating neck snap by the Birdman,” praises Mak, as Birdman climbs back onto the apron. “And he’s been known to follow that up with the double-axe handle!” Birdman gives Zyon some time to recover as he settles upon his favorite perch. He calls out to the crowd with his signature birdcall before leaping into the ring:



Birdman: CAW-CAW!

Crowd: CAW-CAW!










But the Unique Youth springs into the air, trapping Birdman’s head and arm before falling backwards, driving Birdy’s face into the canvas with a Flatliner out of mid-air!









“My God,” shrieks Mak, “what an amazing maneuver by the Unique Youth! He just caught Birdman out of the middle of the air and nailed him with the Decline; I don’t think I’ve seen that move executed in that manner before!”


“A phenomenal counter,” agrees King, as Zyon rolls around on the floor. “If he could just put himself in position for a cover, he could probably end this match right now!” Zyon finally rolls over to apply a lateral press:
















Zyon rolls to his feet and takes a step back as Birdman gets to his knees, and then suddenly charges forward, blasting the Bird in the side of the head with a stiff knee! He then runs to the ropes, springing into the air as he bounces off and drills Birdman in between the eyes with a running knee!


“Shining Duo!” shouts Mak, as Zyon goes for another pinfall:
















“Another near fall for Zyon,” says Mak, “as it appears that Zyon has found his stride in this match!” Zyon pulls Birdman to his feet and delivers several crisp forearms to the chest, before running back towards the edge of the ring and leaping onto the second rope; the Unique Youth springs back into the ring to deliver a flying forearm smash, but Birdy still has presence of mind to duck out of the way! Birdman meets Zyon as he gets to his feet with quick right hands!








Birdman backs Zyon into a corner and then whips him across the ring towards the other corner, but Zyon reverses, sending Birdman rocketing into the corner…






… Where he crashes chest-first into the turnbuckles at an unbelievably high velocity! Birdman bounces off the turnbuckles like a jet ball and collapses onto his back! Zyon staggers over to his opponent and falls atop him with a pinfall attempt:















“Two count only,” says Mak, “but Zyon seems to be getting stronger with each passing move, and those kickouts are becoming less and less forceful on the part of the Birdman!”


“That tends to happen when you get your man worn down,” explains King. “Now, we’ll need to see whether or not Zyon has the killer instinct to extend this advantage.” Zyon pulls Birdman back to his feet and whips him towards a nearby corner, racing to the ropes as Birdman staggers backwards towards the center of the ring, and leaps into the air as he rebounds, reaching for Birdman’s neck to hit him with a running neckbreaker, but the Birdy sidesteps him! Birdman whips his leg through the air as Zyon turns around to deliver a roundhouse kick, but the Unique Youth catches his leg in mid-move…






… Only for the Bird to whip his other leg through the air and blast Zyon in the face with a Gamengiri! Birdman stands with his back to Zyon and springs off the canvas, crashing down onto his chest with a backflip splash!
















“Boy, I thought that Birdman had him after that Gamengiri!” says Mak. “These two continue to go back and forth, and you have to wonder who will be able to come away with the win!” Birdman pulls Zyon back to his feet and whips him across the ring into a corner. He charges in after him, but Zyon lowers his shoulder and lifts him out of the ring, only for the Birdy to land on his feet on the apron. Birdman turns Zyon around and grabs him by the back of the head, slamming him face-first into the top turnbuckle! He then leaps onto the top rope as Zyon staggers away, before springing back into the ring, body extended to crash into Zyon with a cross-body block!






… But Zyon snatches him out of the air and spin towards the center of the ring as he sits out, driving Birdman into the canvas head-first with an Aero Driver!








“Oh my word!” shouts Mak. “Zyon with a terrific counter into the Aero Driver! This ought to do it!!”
















“That was extremely close!” cries Mak. “Birdman was about four inches away from getting beat there!” Zyon lifts Birdman up off the canvas and plants him with a scoop slam. He then runs to the ropes, measuring Birdman as he rebounds, before planting a kneedrop between his eyes.


“Zyon scoring with another big move here,” says Mak, “but he could be making a big mistake in not going for the cover here!” Zyon pulls Birdman to his feet and places him in a Uranage position before spinning him around and slamming him to the canvas with a Sambo Suplex! He quickly scrambles to his feet and runs to the ropes, lifting his leg as he rebounds to nail Birdman with a lunging Yakuza kick, but Birdy shows great resiliency of his own, as he ducks underneath…






… And cups his hands under Zyon’s neck from behind, leaping up and bringing the Unique Youth’s spine down across the knees with a Lungblower!






“Lungblower out of nowhere!” shouts Mak. “Birdman still has some fight left in him!” Red Herrington begins to count both men down:











“This match looks like a pick-em at this stage, King,” notes Mak.







“Definitely,” agrees King. “The next person to score a big move will probably be the winner!”












Around the seven count, both men begin to stir. Birdman crawls over to Zyon and applies a weak lateral press:












That only gets two! Birdman and Zyon then each roll to their knees, and begin to exchange blows as they fight to their feet, with the Birdy trading hard right fists with Zyon:









Zyon eventually takes control, backing Birdman up against the ropes and whipping him across the ring. The Bird ducks underneath a rolling elbow attempt as he bounces off the ropes, and then leaps into the air as he rebound a second time, crashing into Zyon with a cross-body block, only for the Unique Youth to roll through it and roll him into a cradle, as Herrington falls into position to count:



















“Man, was that close!” sighs Mak. Zyon beats Birdman to his feet and stuns him with a kneelift to the midsection. He whips Birdman into the ropes once more and lowers his shoulder to deliver a back-body drop, only for Birdman to catch him in an inside cradle as he comes off the ropes!
















“And that was another close near-fall,” mentions King. “Zyon thought that he had firmly established control, but Birdman’s lightning-fast reflexes were almost able to get him the victory!” Birdman sidesteps a charging Zyon and leaps into the air as he bounces off the ropes, blasting him in the face with a flying back elbow!


“Another nice counter by the Birdman,” says Mak. “And it looks like he’s going up… that’s high-risk territory, King, but not for this guy!”


“And the thing about it is that you never know what he’s going to do up there!” adds King. Birdman leaps from the top turnbuckle and dives into the ring to deliver a flying elbow smash…






… Only to get caught flush on the chin by Zyon’s patented Snap front dropkick!



“Snap!” shouts Mak. “He caught Birdman out of the air with the Snap! What a brilliant, heads-up counter!”


“I gotta give Zyon credit on that one,” concedes King. “Now, we’ll have to see if he can put him away for good this time!”


“Well,” says Mak, “he just gave the sign for the Final Flash; if he can hit it, Birdman will definitely be put away!” Zyon exits to the apron and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He leaps down into the ring and flips forward, showing great form as he aims his body to crash into Birdman with a senton swan dive…






… But Birdy rolls out of the way and the Unique Youth crashes into the canvas! Birdman doesn’t hesitate as he gets to his feet and traps Zyon in a standing headscissors. He reaches down to grab the Unique Youth around the waist and quickly whips him up off the canvas…






Before driving him down with a snap powerbomb!



“Powerbomb!” shouts Mak, as Birdman exits to the ring apron. “You don’t see Birdman break that out very often, but when he does, it’s not hard to figure out what’s coming next!”



Birdman: CAW-CAW!

Crowd: CAW-CAW!



Birdman gives the crowd one final salute before leaping from the top rope and caving Zyon’s chest in with the Bird Dropping!


“Bomb’s away!” cries Mak, as Birdman rolls over to apply a cover “Bird Dropping off the top rope… he won’t get up from that!”























The Bell Centre comes alive as “Let’s Get Retarded” begins to play once more. Birdman rolls to his knees as Herrington raises his right arm in victory.


“Here is your winner,” booms Funyon, “the Bird-man!” Birdman gets up to his feet and staggers over to the edge of the ring, leaning heavily over the top rope.


“Big, big win for the Birdman,” says Mak. “He comes away from this match victorious, and now has won two straight against former Cruiserweight Champions; that’s got to shoot him up the rankings!”


“Birdman had better be careful what he wishes for,” says King. “The last time he had a shot at the Cruiserweight Title was two years ago against Ryan Dustin, and Dustin wasn’t half the wrestler that Tom Flesher is!”


“That’s a matchup that we can definitely look forward to down the line,” says Mak, as Birdman leaves the ring to start heading back up the ramp. “And we’ve got a lot more great action left here on Smarkdown… stay with us!”

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Hardy: "Ben Hardy here, and I am standing here with Jay Hawke. Jay, your comments on Bruce Blank's comments earlier in the show."


Hawke: "Well, Hardy, I suppose Bruce Blank wants me to talk about how lucky I am that he's so graciously giving me a shot at the International Title at Genesis should he beat Spike Jenkins tonight...which should be a pretty easy job, I must say. But you see, it's not about luck. Bruce Blank understands that the only way he can truly be seen as the best International Champion ever is to beat me in a title match. But you know, since he seems so confident that he's got what it takes...maybe, just maybe, we should raise the stakes."


Hardy: "Raise the stakes? How so?"


Hawke: "Well, you remember a few weeks ago where Blank thought he could beat me in a hardcore match in ten minutes or less?"


Hardy: "I do, and as a matter of fact, I seem to recall you lasting the full ten minutes."


Hawke: "Exactly. But to be fair, I'm offering him the same opportunity. See, his specialty is hardcore, but let's see if he can wrestle. I'm proposing a ten minute challenge under pure wrestling rules for Storm. If he lasts ten minutes, he picks the stipulation of our match at Genesis. If he doesn't ... then I pick the stipulation."


Hardy: "That's a bold challenge. And what if Nemesis should get involved?"


Hawke: "If Nemesis gets involved ... I might just have a counter for him, don't you worry about that."


Hardy: "OK, he's issued the challenge for Storm, and I for one can't wait to see it."

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Moments after Matt “Spotty” Myers gets done shilling Frost-Brand © Spot Remover (removes 99% of all “Indy Spots”) we return to the Bell Centre where the Lumberjacks have entered the arena and are waiting, ready to get in a few cheap shots on anyone that falls out of the ring.


Spike’s Lumberjacks are all wearing red flannel shirts and Bruce’s are wearing blue to make them easier to tell apart. Spike has chosen JJ Johnson, Manson, Crimson Skull, Jay Hawke and in a bit of a surprise Akira Kaibatsu as his lumberjacks.


“Why did Spike pick Akira?” Mak asks, considering the two were no longer on speaking terms.


“Maybe because Akira hates Bruce and would rather seen ANYONE but Bruce hold the title?” King says.


“Could be, otherwise good choices, loads of people with grudges against Bruce” Mak says reluctantly complimenting Jenkins.


Bruce’s lumberjacks include Wayne naturally, Nemesis (Wearing the world’s largest flannel shirt) Zyon and in a surprise move Bruce’s fellow Wildcarders from the OAOAST, certainly no strangers to the SWF – Bloodshed & Todd Cortez.


“Oh so they come here for Bruce” Mak mutters as he sees the two Wildcarders.


“Ix-nay on the OAST-OAey” King says trying his best to cover up the fact that neither Bloodshed nor Cortez really should be here legally as they work for the OAOAST.


“Well either way Bruce picked a team of guys he knows will have his back. . . and Zyon. Not that Spike hate is uncommon in the SWF but you probably couldn’t have picked someone with a bigger grudge against Spike in the SWF right now”


“Sean Davis!” King says


“They couldn’t find him.”


In what is the polar opposite of almost every other entrance in the SWF the house lights, ring lights, entrance lights and cell phone lights all get ramped up to full power as the Smarktron goes to white.






“Like bringing a knife to a gun fight…


Like Bringing A Knife To A Gun Fight…





The lights around the entrance way begin to flash signalling the eminent arrival of the challenger and as expected Spike Jenkins walks out only moments later, his traditional black hoodie on with the hood pulled way forward making him look not unlike Emperor Palpatine. As expected Spike drops to one knee, then throws up the “X” arm symbol, he’s Straight Edge after all and not afraid to show everyone.


“Here comes the #1 contender for the title” Mak says as Spike gets back to his feet.


“AND King of Cambodia” King interjects.


Spike looks both determined and focused, or rather his mouth and jaw looks determined and focused as it’s all we can see of his face as he heads to the ring. Hollywood doesn’t even spare his lumberjack a glance as he walks up the ringsteps, pausing only to make a “Belt” motion before entering the ring.




It’s hard to say if the crowd is booing Spike as he throws them yet another “X” symbol or because “Don’t ask me no questions” starts up – or maybe a bit of both, neither man would win a SWF popularity contest after all.


“AAAAAAAAAAAAAND Here comes the champion” King says with excitement.


Bruce steps into the arena and then pauses for a moment to take in the hostile reaction he’s drawing from the Canadian crowd. He taps his belt confidently and adjusts his wrist tape as he heads for the ring, confidently grinning and high fiving his brother as Wayne comes up the aisle to greet him. Unlike Spike Bruce doesn’t ignore his lumberjacks as he nods to both Cortez and Bloodshed and then slaps Nemesis on the shoulder with a grin.


“Zyon doesn’t look like he really wants to be out there King”


“Can you blame him? He’s surrounded by people he either doesn’t like or can’t really trust”


Once inside the ring the big man unstraps his belt, climbs up on the second rope and then raises the belt in the air without paying any attention to what Spike is doing in the ring.


“Blank is the epitome of confidence tonight” Mak says as Bruce seems to be busier talking to the lumberjacks than actually paying attention to Jenkins.


“He really can’t afford to be so distracted Mak, but that’s always been his downfall. He thinks he has it in the bag and then he gets overconfident”


“That almost cost him the match against Akira and Spike is a much sneaker, more devious wrestler who’ll eat Bruce alive if he’s not prepared”


Bruce hands the belt off to the referee so that Soapdish can raise it into the air, then he looks at Spike for the first time and flashes him a big shit eating, condescending smile before crossing his arms to make the “X”. With his arms crossed Bruce then extends both his middle fingers right in Spike’s face


“BRUCE IS JAGGED EDGE!!” King yells out with a grin.


Spike doesn’t react to the insult even though he quite clearly would like nothing better than to take those two fingers and shove them up Bruce’s ass. Spike has a gameplan tonight and he’s not going to let Bruce throw him off so he just stands there and waits for the right moment.




Instead of the traditional collar and elbow lock up Bruce turns to Wayne and the other lumberjacks on his side and loudly exclaims that they need to watch him take the little rat apart.


“Focus Bruce!!” King warns Bruce as “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins finally leaps into action the second Bruce’s attention is diverted.


Spike leaps up in the air preparing to strike Bruce either square in the chest of maybe on the jaw with his Jumping Yakuza Kick.


“WHOA!” Mak blurts out as Bruce suddenly takes a step backwards and grabs hold of Spike’s leg as he quite obviously saw his opponent coming.




“He took his head clean off!” King says as Bruce swiftly goes from holding Spike’s foot to spinning Spike 360 degrees in the air with a Lariat!


“He suckered Spike in!” Mak says as Bruce lands a series of kicks to Spike’s shoulder and back.


“What are you talking about Mak?”


“He looked like he wasn’t paying attention but the second Spike tried to use it Bruce caught him, he’s not fast enough to react like that unless he prepared for it” Mak points out and rightly so.


Bruce drags Spike back to his feet, twists his opponents arm with an arm wringer and then pulls Spike forward sending him bouncing off Bruce’s shoulder not once but twice. Moments later Spike finds himself straddling Bruce’s shoulder while the big man takes a momentary break to point at Jay Hawke on the floor before dropping down to one knee driving Spike’s shoulder into the knee.


“Bruce is taking the opportunity to send a little message to Jay Hawk” King says as Hawke gives the shoulderbreaker a dismissive sneer, not high points for style although he Bruce gets an “A” for impact.


“He needs to focus on THIS match and not the next opponent, after all he can’t defend against Hawke if he loses tonight” Mak says


“Figured that one out all by yourself?”


The shoulderbreaker obviously hurt Spike but even then he still tries to fight Bruce off the best he can, throwing a couple of taped fists at Bruce’s mid section. Bruce easily shakes the blows off, clenches his mighty ham of a hand and then blasts Spike across the back with that clobbering forearm smash he’s hurt so many opponents with.


“I love it when Bruce just lets rip like that” King says as the forearm smash drives Spike back down to the canvas.


With Spike down Bruce uses the opportunity to land a couple of fists drops to Spike’s neck and shoulder area ensuring that the New Straight Edge Sensation remains totally under his control. If Bruce thought that controlling Spike would be easy he has another thing coming tonight, Spike is shooting for the gold and he’s not about to let it stop him.


Although a poke in the eyes does thwart Spike’s plans of a comeback at least for now




When you’re as powerful as Bruce it’s easy enough to whip Spike into the ropes and then catch him with both hands. Bruce manages to lift the 220 pounder up in the air pressing him over his head with the Gorilla Press like it was nothing. As he pumps his arms Spike starts to wiggle and squirm enough to escape Bruce’s grasp. Hollywood slides down behind Bruce’s back landing in a Sun-set flip position with both hands on Bruce’s tights as he tries to drag him to the ground for a pin.


“That’s quick thinking from Spike, now if he can only get him down” King says.


Bruce goes down, but not in the way Spike had hoped though as Bruce sits down on Spike’s chest with all of his 295 pounds behind it. When Nick Soapdish gets to his knees to count the pinfall on Spike Bruce puts his hands on the top rope for added leverage




“It can’t end like this” Mak says, he may not like Spike but he hates to see anyone cheated out of a title.





But there is no three, Soapdish has seen Bruce’s hands on the ropes and immediately broken the count. Instead of giving Bruce the customary 5 count he uses his own discretion and kicks at Bruce’s hands instead, making the champ release his hold AND roll backwards straight into a roll up from Spike Jenkins




“He could pull off a quick upset!!”




But not three, Bruce has managed to flip his body forward again so that he’s sitting on Spike’s chest once more but this time with Spike’s legs hooked as well.




“COME ON BRUCE!!” King yells







Spike kicks out by flipping Bruce back down onto the canvas with his legs, but the Champ uses his momentum to roll through it so that he sits up on his knees as well. The moment Jenkins sits up straight Bruce leaps off from his crouched position and lands a shoulder tackle that knocks the smaller Jenkins back down




In the past the crowd has been able to distract Bruce with their chanting but nothing he’s as focused as he’s ever been, determined to not make a mistake, to not let Spike get a moment to breathe. After getting back to a vertical base Bruce pulls Spike up by the tights and pushes him back into the corner where he peppers him with a series of elbow smashes that threaten to knock Spike’s head off.


“Bruce is off to a very impressive start tonight, he’s usually a slow started but not against Spike” Mak notes


“Yeah well Spike has a tendency to bring out a desire to kick his ass in just about anyone”


Bruce whips Spike across the ring to the other corner, then he runs at Spike ready to crush Hollywood under his gigantic frame. Bruce doesn’t make contact with Spike through, quite the opposite as Spike lets loose with a Soccer tackle kick that knocks the legs out from under Bruce. When Bruce gets to his knees Spike moves in and tries to place Bruce’s head between his legs but the moment the International champion feels the set up to the Endwell he quickly pushes Spike off and moves backwards until he’s got his back against the turnbuckles.


“Bruce was not about to get caught napping!”


“You don’t become the International champion by napping Mak!”


You also don’t dethrone the champion by holding back and letting him get a chance to breathe, something that Spike knows damn well. He capitalizes by Bruce’s position in the corner by rushing in, placing a foot on Bruce’s knee as he steps up and then




Plants a foot to the back of Bruce’s skull knocking the Redneck Superman down with the Dangerous Wizard.


“Spike is going to take to the air! This could be that one big move Spike needs to turn everything around tonight!!” Mak says as Spike Jenkins quickly climbs up the turnbuckles and then gets his balance right.


This could be just the ticket for Spike, unfortunately he doesn’t quite get to punch the ticket as Nemesis casually reaches out and swats one of Spike’s feet out from under him as Bruce has the referee’s attention diverted. Spike drops and lands on the metal bracket that holds the top rope tight, Spike drops with one leg on each side of the bracket taking the full impact on his groin area




“Right on the mommy/daddy button!” King moans in sympathy.


“Oh come on they’re only supposed to get involved when they’re outside the ring” Mak laments


“Don’t blame Nemesis, it looked like he was just yawning and stretching and accidentally hit Spike, it’s a problem when you’re as big as the Colossus” King states offering up a bald face lie without a hint of remorse.


It’s rare that Bruce ever goes to the ropes but the opportunity is just too good to pass up since Spike looks totally incapacitated. The Redneck Superman climbs up on the middle ropes, hooks Spike around the head and then lifts him up in the air for a Super-plex on the already battered Spike




As with all Super-plexes the guy performing the move takes some of the impact as well which is why Bruce doesn’t immediately cover Spike but takes a moment to see straight again before crawling up on top of Spike.












“That’s it!” King states






“See I knew Spike wasn’t out of it just yet” King claims, in an instant forgetting his previous prediction of doom for Spike Jenkins.


“Bruce’s size is working to his advantage in these situations, it’s 295 pounds laying on you that you have to shift to kick out” Says Mak.


Not wasting time with a second pinfall attempt that’s bound to fail Bruce gets back up on his feet, pulls Spike up by the hair and the arm and then he whips the King of Cambodia hard into the corner. Bruce gets up on the second rope, grabbing the top rope with his left hand to balance himself before Spike has a chance to regain the air that just got knocked out of him. Bruce raises his huge right fist in the air and then…




Right fist upside the head!




Another shot strikes Spike upside the head but somehow, somewhere Spike is able to foster an idea and then let that idea take life as he reaches up with both hands, unsteady as he might be, and then pushes Bruce to the right. The desperation push is enough to throw Bruce off balance and send him tumbling over the top rope, landing with a thud on the floor right in front of Spike’s lumberjacks.


“Uh-oh” King says quietly as Johnson, Manson and Hawk quickly swarm in on Bruce followed shortly by the Crimson Skull looking to revenge the beating he took in Cell Block D a while ago.


“Turn around is fair play! His guys took it to Spike after all” Mak says ignoring the fact that the lumberjacks are supposed to just throw Bruce back inside the ring and not kick him or hit him or drop a knee to the back of his head.


Only Akira seems to be interested in getting Bruce back in the ring while the others are more set on getting a few shots in on Bruce, especially Hawke who takes great pleasure in attacking Bruce. After a couple of more punches and elbow shots the red lumberjacks finally roll Bruce up on the apron, although they don’t roll him under the ropes. From the looks of it this move was more about setting Bruce up for more punishment than getting him back in the ring because Spike takes full advantage of the position by kicking the International champion in the mid-section with a baseball slide drop kick!




“They’re cheering Spike?” Mak asks as the Canadian crowd cheers as Bruce is knocked to the floor once again.


“I dunno Mak, maybe it’s more like they cheer for Bruce getting his ass kicked, he hasn’t exactly endeared himself to the Canadians” the Suicide King figures.


This time Spike’s Lumberjacks aren’t just allowed to attack Bruce as Bruce’s blue clad lumberjacks rush around the ring and jump on Johnson, Hawke and the others as they’re laying the kicks in on Bruce. Only Zyon holds back from the blue team just as Akira keeps his distance during the melee on the floor. Normally the combined forces of Hawke, Johnson, Manson & Skull would keep anyone back, but Nemesis isn’t just ANYONE, the 2006 Rookie Sensation bowls Manson over with a big foot and then warts off the Crimson Skull so that Bruce is able to crawl back inside the ring.


“Correct me if I’m wrong but weren’t the lumberjacks supposed to keep the order in this match?” Mak asks.


“You’re wrong”


“Why am I not surprised you’d say that King? So why are they here?”


“It’s simple, they’re here to keep Bruce or Spike from running away – if that involves them getting a bit physical then that’s alright” King explains.


With Bruce back in the ring the reds and the blues separate once more and return to their designated sides while the action resumes inside the ring. Spike stalks Bruce like a predator on the prowl waiting for the opportune moment to strike, taking his time.


Bruce is only up on one knee before Spike launches his attack




With Bruce on his knee Spike’s trademark lariat strikes the big man right across the face knocking him back down HARD!


“Spike is ON FIYAH” King yells out as Spike throws a quick “X” and a grin before putting his boots to Bruce.




“This is his opportunity King, this is his chance to rise up and show that he doesn’t always choke, that he DOES belong at the top of the SWF”


Spike backs off and leans back against the ropes ready to attack Bruce once more, probably with either a boot scrape or maybe a double stomp but unfortunately it’s one of those things we will never know as a huge glove clad hand reaches trough the ropes and takes a swipe at Spike. Spike easily avoids Nemesis’ fist but the fact that the Colossus even tried to interfere in the match pisses Spike off to the point where he’s demanding that Nemesis gets in the ring and fights him.


“That kid is crazy! That’s Nemesis!!” Mak says as Spike keeps yelling at the big monster.


“He is crazy, but consider this – do you want to fight someone who’s crazy?” King asks.


“Well…” Mak says and then has his train of though derailed as Bruce gets back to his feet.


With Spike’s attention diverted by Nemesis he quickly falls prey to Bruce as the big man grabs the Straight Edge Sensation by the back of the head and the trunks and throws him over the top rope. Fortunately for Spike he’s got enough presence of mind to shift his weight around and land on his feet instead of his ass. Wayne Blank rushes around the corner from “Bruce’s side” and runs straight at Spike hoping to get a few shots in at the challenger




The only shot anyone gets in is Spike hitting Wayne Blank over the top of the head with a steel chair he picked up a split second earlier.


“Disqualify him!” King yells out as Wayne crumbles in a heap after the chairshot.


“Why? He didn’t use the chair on Bruce it’s perfectly legal”


“Oh is that right Mak? So I guess it’d be okay for Spike to SHOOT Wayne as long as he didn’t do it to Bruce?” King snaps.


Spike just grins, then he drops the chair and slides in under the bottom rope before any of Bruce’s other lumberjacks has a chance to get their hands on him. After seeing his brother knocked out with a chair Bruce lunges at Spike like a wild bull without forethought or planning. Spike however keeps his cool and sidesteps Bruce’s charge like he was an experienced bullfighter dancing with a horned beast. Even though he missed the first charge Bruce charges Spike again, only this time in addition to side stepping Bruce he also drills a knee into Bruce’s midsection.




With Bruce doubled over Spike steps up and locks Bruce’s head between his knees, but before he can even attempt the double underhook Bruce stands up straight backdropping Spike over his head.


“Spike almost had the Endwell!”


“Spike has been putting opponents away with that move left and right, if he can hit Bruce with hit he’ll be just another notch on Spike’s belt” says King


“Spike wears a belt??”


Bruce quickly grabs Spike’s legs, steps through them with his left leg as he crosses Spike’s legs setting the New Straight Edge Sensation up for a Sharpshooter, but before Bruce can turn Spike over the challenger reaches out and grabs the ropes for the easy out.


“What was THAT about? Has Bruce been studying some tapes or was that not the Sharpshooter?” Mak wonders.


“It sure looked like it”.


Since Spike grabbed the rope Bruce has no choice but to release his hold, but that doesn’t mean he can’t kick Spike which is exactly what he does even while Spike is holding on to the bottom rope. It only takes 3 or 4 kicks before JJ Johnson gets involved in the match and sweeps Bruce’s leg out from under him.


“HEY NOW!” Mak yells out


Mak isn’t the only one unhappy with the untimely interference from the lumberjacks, Akira shakes his head and then tears off his red flannel shirt as he leaves “Spike’s” side of the ring and heads for a neutral side between the two teams of lumberjacks. Moments later Zyon removes his blue flannel shirt, tosses it at Bloodshed and then heads over to join Akira making their own personal 3rd lumberjack team.




“I knew it was a mistake to try and include those two goody-two-shoes” King bitches.


“You said it made sense!!”


“I NEVER!” King says mortified that Mak would ever try to use his own words against him.


Neither Spike nor Bruce seem to really care that Zyon & Akira have broken away from their side, instead the champion and the challenger are circling the ring, each trying to find an opening, trying to gain the advantage in the match. Spike fakes an attack and then when Bruce tries to counter he drives the tip of his boot into Bruce’s midsection. The stiff toe kick doubles Bruce over as well as driving him back a step or two, giving Spike enough room to run across the ring, bounce off the ropes and then launch himself at Bruce. And “launch” is the right word to use in this case as Bruce straightens up at the last moment and boosts Spike up even higher in the air throwing Spike over the top rope


“HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY!!” Mak yells out as the Flying Jenkins is caught by Nemesis






After Nemesis managed to catch Spike as he flew through the air he back drops him over the guardrail and into the crowd where the first 4-5 rows of fans all scarper to get out of harms way.




“I… I… holy shit” Mak says as he’s at a loss for anything else to say.


Nemesis kicks the guardrails apart so that he can get his hands on the most likely very hurt Spike Jenkins but before the Colossus can make another move he’s inundated by all of Spike’s lumberjacks who’ve come to ensure that the boys in blue don’t take any liberties with “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins. The two sides quickly become embroiled in what can best be described as a pier 6 brawl focusing more on fighting each other than making sure Spike Jenkins returns to the ring.


“This is INSANE! We’ve got fists and elbows and boots flying everywhere but none of them from the guys legally in the match” Mak says as he tries to take in all the action at once.


“How ironic would it be if Spike got counted out?” King asks as Spike Jenkins still hasn’t moved from where he was tossed to only moments ago.


“Oh I’m sure Bruce would LOVE that”


As the two sides fight Bruce steps through the ropes and hops to the floor. Then, either to prove Mak Francis wrong or because Bruce wants to punish Spike some more, he goes over and picks up his opponent and drags him back towards the ring.


“You were saying?” King gloats.


The Crimson Skull breaks away from his attack on Nemesis and attacks Bruce from behind only moments after the Redneck Superman has pushes Spike back inside the ring. A double Axe handle to the back from the mighty Skull shakes Bruce’s attention enough for the masked man to grab Bruce by the hair and then slam him face first against the ringpost




“This is out of control! Soapdish is going to throw this match out any minute now” Mak laments as the lumberjacks still fight with each other.


“Nah I don’t think so, Skull just helped Bruce back in the ring. Yes he had a little… erm … accident but he was just trying to help” King explains as they watch the Crimson Skull roll a very dazed Bruce back inside the ring.


Even with both wrestlers back in the ring the lumberjacks still fight amongst themselves distracting Nick Soapdish from the action, well IN-action in the ring. Akira and Zyon are the first to back off and return to the neutral side that they’ve created for themselves letting the others sort out their differences any way they feel like. It’s not until several road agents and officials head to the ring that Bruce’s lumberjacks and Spike’s lumberjacks are finally separated restoring some semblance of order.


“About time we got them separated” Mak complains


“Why? It’s not like there’s been that much action going on in the ring” King says pointing out that Bruce only just got back on his feet while Spike is still down.


When Bruce bends down to pick up Spike he gets a boot planted right between his eyes for his troubles, then Spike kicks Bruce in the side of the knee to back the big man off as he gets back to his feet. Bruce tries to get back in control of the match by Irish whipping Spike into the corner and then rushes in looking for a Lariat




Bruce finds nothing but turnbuckle though as his speedier opponent ducks out of the way, then as Bruce staggers back a step or two he gets another demonstration of Spike’s devious mind with a CHOP BLOCK OF DOOM!!


Bruce crashes to the mat and Spike is quick to cover his opponent feeling the gold in his grasp.






“Will we see a new champion??”








“Bruce’s reign ends right now!” Mak states






And that’s where the count stops, not because Bruce kicks out or because Bruce managed to get a foot on the rope under his own power but because JAY HAWKE!! Reaches in and pulls Bruce’s leg up on the rope


“WHAT??” Mak yells out as he almost spontaneously heals from the surprise.


“Hawke saved Bruce’s title??”


Everyone in the arena including Spike Jenkins are wondering just what the hell Jay Hawke is up to and the hot head from Hollywood isn’t slow to question why Jay Hawke screwed over “his” guy. Hawke says something to Spike that can’t be made out over the noise of the crowd but when he makes a belt motion around his waist and then points to Bruce it becomes quite obvious.


“Bruce said that if he walked out of here with the title he’d defend against Hawke at Genesis right?” King asks


“Yeah that’s what he said earlier” Mak says, then it dawns on him “Of course!”


“Don’t trust anybody Spike!” King says in an admonishing tone.


The distraction has given Bruce a chance to recover and has gotten back to his feet although he’s still breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath after the flurry of high speed offence he’s had to deal with from Spike. Spike turns his attention back towards Bruce, putting his anger towards Hawke aside for a moment to ensure that he’s still in charge of the match.


Toe kick doubles Bruce over once more


“ENDWELL!!” King yells out “I think he can get it on this time, Bruce is hurting, he’s away from the ropes!”


Not deterred by his earlier failures in locking Bruce’s arms Spike tries once again to double underhook Bruce’s massive arms and this time he manages to do so!! With Bruce’s arms locked in and everything in the perfect position for the Endwell Spike grins and then…




Somehow Bruce manages to stand up straight, lifting Spike up off the ground holding him upside down as Spike holds on to the double underhooked arms trying desperately to bring Bruce back down for the Endwell.


“Oh my” Mak mutters as Bruce stumbles


But not forward like Spike had wanted, not forward into what would be a high elevation Endwell that would most assuredly break Bruce’s neck but instead he stumbles backwards and sits down hard on his ass








Spike’s head is spiked into the ground without Jenkins being able to block it in any way, it’s a sick visual as the challenger slumps down to the ground motionless. It takes Bruce a moment or two to even register what’s happened but the moment he sees Spike down on the ground it’s like he gets a kick of adrenaline to get him back on his feet.


“Oh this has GOT to be it, that was sick” Mak says, although not with too much sympathy after all Spike put Mak in the wheelchair in the first place.


“Desperate men do desperate things, Bruce did what he had to do to keep the title”


Bruce grabs Spike by the feet and once again goes for a Sharpshooter attempt. But the to everyone’s surprise turns completely around once Spike is on his stomach so that he ends up standing with Jenkin’s legs trapped by his left leg. Bruce reaches down, grabs Spike by the wrists to lift Spike’s upper body up in the air. Bruce places his size 16 in the back of Spike’s head and then…




“OH MY GOD!!” Mak says as Bruce stomps down hard driving Spike face first into the canvas.


“That’s called the Cruiserweight Killer! That’s what Bruce has been trying to put on before, it wasn’t the sharpshooter at all!”


After being dropped on his head and then having his face stomped into the canvas Spike doesn’t put up any fight as Bruce flips him over onto his back and then covers him.






“Spike is OUT!!” King states








“No one could survive that King, no one!”






“Don’t ask me no questions” starts up before Funyon can even make the announcement that Bruce has retained the International title.




“He did it! Bruce defends again!” King says and then cheers Bruce on.


“He squeaked by Spike is what he did, he had to have a lot of help”


“A win is a win is a win Mak”


It takes Bruce a moment to get back on his feet after going on pure adrenaline for the last moments of this hard fought match, but once he’s up referee Nick Soapdish thrusts the International Title in his hands before leaving the ring. With Wayne still groggy from the chairshot and Nemesis being so slow Jay Hawke manages to enter the ring before either of Bruce’s allies can react. Hawke’s presences goes unnoticed by Bruce who’s too busy to celebrate a hard fought win, unnoticed until Hawke lands a Roundhouse Kick that knocks the International belt into Bruce’s face and knocks the Champion down.


“That’s coming back home!” Hawke yells as he points to the International title.


With Nemesis stepping over the top rope Hawke decides that he’s better off on the floor, sliding out of the ring before the big man can get his hands on the Dean of Professional Wrestling. Bruce may not look like the winner right now, but he managed to defend the title in his toughest defence to date.

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SWF Road agent Michael Anderson turns to see Mike Van Siclen storming towards him. “Good evening, Mister Van Siclen. Is there something that I can do for you this...”


Anderson finds himself interrupted as MVS grabs him by his sport coat. “Now, you listen to me, you little bastard,” he growls. “You’re going to tell me what I want to know, and you’re going to tell me right now!”


“Mister Van Siclen,” Anderson says calmly, “I’m going to have to ask you to take your hands off me.”


“BIRDMAN!” screams Van Siclen. “Tell me who he is!”


“Mister Van Siclen,” repeats Anderson, “I’m going to ask you for the last time to take your hands off me.”


“Or what?” bellows MVS, shaking Anderson viciously. “You’re a damned cripple; you can barely walk. What the hell do you think you’re going to do to… URK!”


Van Siclen is abruptly cut off in mid-sentence as the massive hand of Big Tracey Bruner, Anderson’s personal bodyguard, suddenly wraps around his throat and lifts him off the ground!


“Why, Mister Van Siclen,” Anderson says with a smile, “when did I ever say anything about me?”


“Is this guy troubling you, boss?” rumbles Bruner.


“No, Mister Bruner,” replies Anderson, as he straightens out his sport coat. “No trouble at all. Mister Van Siclen was just going to ask me a few questions in a calm and rational manner… weren’t you, Mister Van Siclen?”


“URK!” Still dangling like an apple from Bruner’s tree trunk of an arm, Van Siclen can only nod feebly.


On seeing this, Anderson signals for Bruner to set him down. “Now, Mister Van Siclen… I believe you wished to ask me some questions about the Birdman?”


“That’s right,” replies Van Siclen in a hoarse whisper. “I know that you’ve done business with him in the past.”


“That’s correct.”


“And I’m sure that you know who he really is,” continues MVS.


“Also correct.”


“Well, I’ve been getting sabotaged by Wildchild here in the last few weeks,” declares Van Siclen. “He’s been trying to embarrass me on live television… And then, last week, Birdman gave me THIS!” Van Siclen pauses and points to the stitches above his right eye. “I have reason to believe that Wildchild is the Birdman, and you’re the only person around here that knows for sure… so talk!”


Anderson gives Van Siclen a wide grin. “Mister Van Siclen, I’d love to help, but unfortunately, revealing that information would be a conflict of interest for me at the present moment. Besides, as you can see,” he pauses to point at the workers behind him, “I’m very busy with getting everything ready for the debut of my interview segment.”


“Interview segment?”


“Yes,” drawls Anderson. “I’ve recently negotiated a deal to host a weekly interview segment on the next few episodes of Storm and Lockdown, with an option to continue on after Genesis if the ratings are high enough.”


Van Siclen narrows his eyes. “And just how did a slimy little weasel like you get your own interview segment?”


Anderson’s smile grows even wider. “Let’s just say that a business associate of mine owed me a favor… a BIG favor!”


“Uh-huh.” Van Siclen grimaces as he tries to process this information. “So, this interview segment… you have a guest yet?”


“As a matter of fact,” says Anderson, “I was thinking about asking you.”




“Yes, Mister Van Siclen, you,” repeats the still-smiling Anderson. “You see, I have to protect my interests until my show goes on the air. However… once we’re in production, you may, perhaps find me a little more… forthcoming with information?”


“Is that right?” Van Siclen rubs his chin thoughtfully. “So, what you’re saying is that, if I were to come onto your show… and ask you certain questions… that you might answer them for me?”


“Let’s not give away what we can sell, Mister Van Siclen,” replies Anderson. “So, can I expect your company on Friday?”


MVS nods affirmatively. “I’ll be there. And then, I’m going to get rid of Wildchild once and for all!”


Anderson watches as Van Siclen turns and walks away. Once he’s sure that MVS is out of earshot, he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out his cell phone; he scrolls through the speed dial and calls a familiar number:


“It’s me…”




“Yeah, he’s in; fell for it hook, line and sinker.”




“Did you get him to agree to it?”




“Interesting… I guess I’m not the only one who’s owed favors around here.”




“Hey, don’t take it personal; it’s just business… By the way, did you get those tickets yet?”




“Excellent. Alright, until then.”


Anderson closes his phone and looks over to Bruner. “Everything is going according to plan. I told you that this would be my ticket, Mister Bruner.” Anderson then turns his attention back to the construction of his interview set as Bruner looks on…

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“It’s main-event time once again ladies and gentlemen, and with Genesis VII less than a month away we have a World Title match for you to whet your appetite with,” the suave tones of ‘The Franchise’ Mak Francis greets viewers as the SWF returns from commercial break. “Michael Stephens defeated Landon Maddix for the belt and has seen off stern challenges from Zyon, Bruce Blank and most recently JJ Johnson, but tonight he faces a rather more unorthodox opponent in the form of Jimmy The Doom who is seeking to become Doomtopia’s first champion in…” Francis consults his notes. “…well, just about anything, as far as I can tell.”


“I think you’re forgetting that Two Skinny White Guys defeated Doom and the disguised Crimson Skull recently,” Suicide King puts in, “so I’d say that’s the outcome already pretty much determined.”


“Your meaning?”


“Toxxic is clearly the talent of his team,” the Heartbreaker declares, “and Doom blatantly wasn’t. If this was Toxxic vs. the Crimson Skull then we might have a competitive match on our hands, but as it is it’s just another defence to pad his record before Tom takes the title at Genesis.”


You’re forgetting that Jimmy the Doom defeated Jaw Hawke to win this shot,” Mak Francis argues, “a wrestler for whom I know you have a great deal of respect.”


“Well, Doom cheated. And not in a good way,” King adds hurriedly, lest someone take that as a compliment from one of the greatest rulebreakers in the sport’s history. However, before further conversation can take place there is a rumbling chant that fills the arena…




…and from the back comes not a couple, or a few, but a veritable plethora of druids, split into two columns and chanting as they come. They stream - well, move slowly - down the entrance ramp and then start to head in opposite directions so that they surround the ring.




“Dammit,” mutters King, “that movie sucked and it gets endorsed on our show?”




Finally the druids are in position, still chanting… and then Boots Randolph’s ‘Yakety Sax’ kicks up, signalling the arrival of the challenger! Jimmy The Doom, tonight wearing a gold stovepipe hat with silver tassels around the brim to signal the addition of the World Title to the Hardcore belt he already holds, appears at the top of the entrance ramp with Lois the Unethical and starts to make his way towards the ring. Jimmy pauses to shout encouraging (if mangled) things to the crowd, who by and large respond positively; he may be a pigdog foreigner in an excessively stupid hat but at least he’s not American (or, even worse, an American pretending to be Canadian).


“On reflection, I think that the word ‘unorthodox’ doesn’t even really begin to describe Jimmy The Doom,” Mak says thoughtfully.


“Well, no. ‘Lame’ just about covers it though.”


“Shut up, King.”


Jimmy and Lois are now climbing the ring steps to the apron, whereupon the challenger steps through the ropes and nods in greeting to Funyon and referee Brian Warner. Then he motions to his wife, who pulls a large herring from somewhere and hands it to him; Jimmy then beats Warner in the face with the fish repeatedly until Funyon interjects himself.


“…OK, what the hell was that?” King asks, nonplussed.


“I believe it was an ancient purification ritual,” Francis replies, only slightly more plussed himself, “a Doomtopian tradition to ensure that the official adjudicating a contest of such magnitude is pure in body and soul.”


“By beating him with a herring!?”


“Truly, the SWF is the home of multiculturalism,” Mak intones sonorously.


“Tell that to Mohammed Koran.”


Brian Warner wipes his face and speaks angrily to the Doomtopians, causing Lois to start apologising on her husband’s behalf and explaining his actions; however, no-one can hear what they say because at that point another chant rolls out across the arena. Rather than being chanted by druids, this one is a recording from the soccer terraces a few thousand miles away…





…and with that, the crashing opening chord of ‘Rookie’ by Boy Sets Fire rings out. The Smarktron swiftly blacks out and jagged white letters flash up, spelling out a familiar phrase one word at a time:




The Smarktron changes again to show scenes from famous matches; the All-Show Brawl with Insane Luchador; the infamous glass jawbreaker on Aecas; winning the World Title for the fourth time with the RTF II against Landon Maddix. Finally it cuts to Mike Van Siclen being taken off a balcony and through a table with the Stephens Shock Syndrome, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the-




-stagewide eruption of red pyro (igniting two druids, who run around in circles before falling off the soundstage) that announces the SWF’s most decorated Englishman as the main riff hammers out! And through the flame and smoke…




…black hair hanging down over his face and body draped in his new spiked, zipped and chained black canvas trenchcoat…




…World Title and Tag Team Title belts buckled one over another around his waist…




…comes the man once known as Toxxic. He lifts his head and looks down at the ring, the last remnants of flame reflecting in his eyes and giving the steel grey a red tinge for a moment, then breaks into a sprint with his coat flying out behind him!




The crowd roar their approval as Michael Stephens slides in under the bottom rope, popping up to his feet in front of Brian Warner and reaching under his coat and behind his back to grab the fastening buckles of the titles he wears; then, as ‘Rookie’ approaches the first verse he undoes them, takes one in each hand and briefly crosses his arms in the straight-edge ‘X’ position before throwing them wide as each turnbuckle erupts with another blast of red pyro!






‘I never thought this could be me

I guess you never do until it’s happening to you

Like all the fun turned into shame

And all the “could-have-beens” rearrange…”


Boy Sets Fire starts to fade out and Stephens hands both title belts over to Brian Warner, then divests himself of his trenchcoat and pulls off his replica England soccer shirt, wadding it up and throwing it into the crowd where two girls in ludicrous amounts of eyeliner fight over it whilst pretending not to.


“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!” Funyon booms to applause and cheers. “Introducing first, in the corner to my left, the challenger; accompanied to the ring by Lois the Unethical and hailing from Doomopolis, Doomtopia; weighing in tonight at 230lbs; he is the reigning SWF Hardcore Champion, this is the ‘Straight-Bread Sensation’, JIMMY… THA… DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!”




Doom gets a decent response, which he acknowledges by waving to all sides of the arena. Meanwhile Michael Stephens just looks a little sceptically at the ‘straight-breader’ opposite him.


“…and his opponent,” Funyon continues, “in the corner to my right and accompanied to the ring by Amy Stephens-”


Mike’s head snaps round, only to discover that sure enough, his sister has followed him out and has taken at seat at ringside with a can of beer in her hand and what looks like a cooler at her side.


“-weighing in tonight at 218lbs; from Nottingham, England, he is the reigning and defending four-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion… MI-CHAEL… STEEEEEEEEEEE-PHENS!!”








Stephens cracks his neck from side-to-side and focuses on his opponent; for his part Jimmy divests himself of his gloveless fingers and twirls his moustache with what may be nerves or might just be a natural human response to having a huge fuck-off moustache.




The opening bell goes and Doom leaps forwards, hoping to secure an early advantage over the defending champion. However, Stephens neatly sidesteps him and take Jimmy down with a drop toehold, then scoots over to apply a front facelock.


“And why is Toxxic going to the mat so early?” King scoffs.


“Well, he may have a speed advantage but it still makes sense to wear your opponent down with holds if you get the chance,” Mak argues. However, it looks like Stephens doesn’t have that chance, as Jimmy grabs his opponent’s arm and twists it out to the side, loosening the facelock enough to spin out and apply an armwringer to the suddenly disadvantaged World Champion. Doom gets up to one knee and then to a standing position to try and get a more acute angle on his hold, but Stephens rolls through the hold to release the pressure on his limb, then sweeps Doom’s legs from under him and dives on top for a pin.











-but Doom kicks out before Warner can even think about a second count. Stephens grabs Jimmy’s head and drags the Doomtopian up, not wanting to give him a chance to settle, then unloads with a European uppercut to his opponent’s jaw!




Jimmy staggers back and Stephens takes that as a cue to deliver another one-




-before grabbing Jimmy’s head and snapmaring him over into a sitting position, then taking a seat behind his opponent and threading his legs under Doom’s arms to apply the double-leg nelson. The World Champion starts to try and straighten his body to try and bend Doom double and get as much mileage out of the hold as possible but Jimmy is having none of it and starts trying to shuffle across the mat. His ability to do this is fairly limited, but at the same time he’s a lanky bastard and his stretching legs soon start to get near the bottom cables.


“Look at this,” King scoffs, “even Jimmy The Doom can get out of Toxxic’s holds - he won’t do very well against Tom if that’s the best he can manage!”


“Doom is expending energy to try and get out,” Mak argues, “so it still has its benefits. Besides which, you know very well that Stephens has more potent holds than that, King.”


Jimmy The Doom is nearly there now, and with just a little bit more stretching… but as he tries it, Stephens rolls to one side, yanking the Doomtopian away from the ropes and using his legs to turning Jimmy onto his shoulders for a pin!


















…but Doom kicks out, toppling himself over onto his side. Stephens relaxes his legs and spins around on the mat, reaching out to try and grab a sleeperhold on the disorientated Doomtopian, but Jimmy fights his opponent’s arms off, then jerks his head backwards to crack the startled Englishman in the face with an reverse headbutt! Mike has a hard head of his own and it doesn’t shake him much, but it’s enough for Doom to scramble away over the mat and come up to his feet. Stephens gets up a moment later, rubbing his forehead and eyeing the challenger warily as the two face off again.






The crowd is divided between the two superstars who don’t seem too eager to rush into anything again; Doom got caught once, and Stephens cracks his neck from side to side while he tries to work out his angle of approach. Meanwhile Lois the Unethical is fairly inanimate at ringside, while Amy’s input is a shout to her brother to ‘fucking get on with it, innit’. Shrugging, Stephens moves in with his arms extended, apparently looking for a Greco-Roman knucklelock. Doom responds in kind and the two lace fingers, but only for a moment; Stephens kicks up with his right foot and breaks the contact between his right hand and Doom’s left, then spins to one side and comes up behind the challenger with a hammerlock.




Jimmy’s greater height means that Mike can’t wrench in the hold with as much force as he’d like; therefore he abandons it in favour of stepping back in front of his opponent and taking Jimmy over with another snapmare before the Doomtopian can react. However, instead of following up with the double-leg nelson the World Champion elects to deliver a dropkick to the back of Jimmy’s head, then as Doom rolls to one side clutching the back of his head Stephens drops down and grabs a front facelock before bringing Jimmy back up to his feet. From there the Englishman spins sideways and takes his challenger down with a swinging neckbreaker. Even then he hasn’t finished; he maintains his hold and hauls Doom up again before twisting around more slowly until he’s back-to-back with his opponent, then sits out with a Hangman’s neckbreaker.


“Michael Stephens now seems to have taken control of this contest,” Mak Francis notes.


“He’d be a pretty poor World Champion if Jimmy the Doom was still giving him the runaround,” Suicide King replies.






“Shut it.”


Stephens seems to decide that the time is right for another pin and accordingly makes one, causing Brian Warner to drop to the mat and count…


















…however, Warner doesn’t get beyond two with Jimmy’s kickout indicating that he’s still well in this contest. The World Champion doesn’t seem too surprised and draws Doom up to a vertical base again… but Jimmy has taken enough, and fires off a Hand of Doom to his opponent’s throat, causing Stephens to stagger backwards with all thoughts of offence gone!




The Straight-Bread Sensation grabs his opponent’s hand and Irish whips Stephens into the ropes, then grabs the Englishman on his return and twirls him through the air, finally slamming him down with a tilt-a-whirl inverted atomic drop!


“Lame,” King sighs.


However, Michael Stephens is the one who looks lame as he staggers backwards, and Doom follows up by delivering a corkscrew back elbow to knock his straight-edge opponent down to the mat!




Doom gets back to his feet and waits for his opponent to rise; Stephens gets up coughing from the wind being blasted from his lungs by the elbow, and is too late to see Doom jumping up to deliver a snap kick to the chest…




“That’s the move that beat Jay Hawke,” Mak Francis shouts, “Doom could win this match with his first pin!”


















…but Stephens kicks out, not having nearly enough of a beating to relinquish his World Title yet! Doom grabs the Englishman and pulls him up to his feet, then applies the dreaded inverted head vice by standing in front of Stephens with one hand on either side of the champion’s skull; however, Stephens counters by forcing his head underneath Jimmy’s chin, reaching up to grab Doom’s head and then sitting out with a jawbreaker!




“These fans are fickle bastards, aren’t they?” King says, looking around as the pro-Stephens faction takes heart. However, the World Champion isn’t done yet as he kips up in front of the staggered and startled Doom, then leaps into the air to deliver an enzuigiri!




Jimmy topples forwards to the mat while Stephens takes a few deep breaths; however, in the time that it takes the World Champion to collect his thoughts again, his challenger has started to get back to his feet again! It will take more than being kicked in the back of the head to keep down someone of the Doomtopian-hardened toughness of Jimmy The Doom…




…so Stephens pastes him in the front of the head with a Stephenskick, just for good measure! Jimmy topples backwards but Stephens doesn’t go for the cover, instead opting to head for the nearest turnbuckles. The World Champion takes hold of the top rope in both hands and vaults to the top buckle in one easy motion, turning as he does so in order to face back into the ring. From there he straightens up, raises both arms above his head and dives off forwards, rolling through the air to land the Hangover legdrop across Doom’s throat!




Mike goes for the pin this time, making sure to lean over and hook Jimmy’s leg for maximum effectiveness on the pin…


















…but Jimmy kicks out again! The Doomtopian turns onto his front to try and avoid any further pinning situations, but this allows Stephens to grab a front facelock again. From there Mike starts to bring Jimmy up to a vertical base, but once there he swings his right arm out, then around and down to sit out and mash Doom’s face back into the canvas!




“Unfinished Business,” Mak Francis calls, “and the World Champion seems to have regained the initiative in this one now.”



















-but Jimmy kicks out again, proving that Doomtopians are tougher than old boot leather. Stephens seems annoyed that Doom kicked out and turns the taller man onto his front, then applies a double underhook. He starts to haul Jimmy upright, but as he gets in a position to apply a standing headscissors Doom suddenly straightens up and bridges back, sending Stephens flying overhead to land backfirst in the turnbuckles and drop down to an uncomfortable landing on the back of his neck!






"Jimmy just blocked the Stephens Shock Syndrome, and that may have saved his skin," Mak Francis notes as the pro-Doomtopian part of the crowd cheers, "the World Champion is starting to bring out the big guns now and Doom needs to fight back soon."


"Or he could admit defeat, lie down and we could all go home," the Suicide King says hopefully.


Jimmy the Doom is sucking in wind and shaking his head to try and clear it from the blows he's taken recently, but he has a few seconds grace as Stephens' collision with the ringpost seems to have severely slowed him down. The World Champion is on all fours now and he grabs onto the ring ropes to haul himself upright, but Doom is now back to a vertical base and ready for him. Stephens manages to get to his feet and turns around only to find Jimmy the Doom already rushing at him!


"Doom's dialling home!" Francis calls as the challenger launches himself into the air, colliding with the Englishman in the corner before wrapping one arm around Stephens' head and taking his opponent over and out of the cover with a headlock takeover. Jimmy scrambles to get more fully on top of his opponent after they land and makes a cover...


















...but Stephens kicks out! Doom clicks his heels in frustration and grabs his opponent, then hauls the breathless champion back up to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Stephens rebounds and Doom scoops him up, perhaps going for the tilt-a-whirl inverted atomic drop again, but the Englishman wraps his legs around Jimmy's head and takes the challenger over with a headscissors!






Michael Stephens comes up to his feet a microsecond quicker than Doom, and takes the chance to bury a foot in the gut of his opponent. Then, before Jimmy can react he applies a double underhook and heaves the Doomtopian UP...










"Stephens Shock Syndrome!" Mak Francis yells, "Stephens keeps stopping Doom from building any momentum, and now he could have delivered a match-winning hit... if he can cover him!"


However it seems that the World Champion is a bit disorientated after the spinning of the headscissors and the swinging Triple S, and he takes a few seconds to drape an arm over Jimmy's chest...



















-but Doom kicks out once more! Michael Stephens looks at Brian Warner in pure disbelief, but the referee brandishes the damning two fingers and the World Champion rolls his eyes in frustration. He then pulls Doom up and fires off a right hand to the head… but it doesn’t have quite the effect one might expect.


“It doesn’t look like Jimmy felt that one, King,” Mak Francis notes.


“Probably too dumb,” the Gambling Man replies.


However, Jimmy The Doom doesn’t seem to feel Stephens’ next punch either, or the one after that… and as Stephens looks on in disbelief the challenger starts shaking with what might be a mild epileptic fit but seems more likely to be a display of righteous fury!




Figuring that it has to work sooner or later, Stephens tries another right…




…and Doom’s head snaps up to fix his opponent with wild, staring eyes! Possibly slightly intimidated by the moustache, Stephens lays in with another right…




…and sees it literally bounce off his opponent’s skull, as Jimmy straightens up to his full height and points a menacing finger at the World Champion!




“King, is Jimmy ‘Dooming Up’?” Mak Francis asks while the crowd get into the spirit of things.


“Could be,” King sighs, “it’s about as lame as everything else he does.”


Michael Stephens seems lost in disbelief as the Straight-Bread Sensation shrugs off his blows like they were something easily shruggable, but he elects to try once more and swings with a black-nailed right hand…


…that’s blocked! And not just blocked, but answered by a palm thrust!






Stephens staggers back into the ropes, then rebounds to walk forward into-






-another palm thrust! This one knocks him into the ropes as well, and he rebounds again only to be met by-






-a double palm thrust that takes him clean off his feet!






The straight-breader from Doomopolis, Doomtopia roars in triumph - well, makes a sort of strangulated scream - and the fans rise in response, even the ones backing the World Champion to retain appreciating the effort and fighting spirit of the challenger!


“He’s feeding off the crowd here!” Mak says.


“He’s a vampire!? I KNEW IT!”


Michael Stephens is getting back up to his feet, but Jimmy The Doom has turned away from pumping up the crowd and sets his sights on the rising Englishman, then twirls on the spot before delivering a shocking headbutt to his opponent that sends Stephens back down to the mat one more time!




“Tornado headbutt, and Michael Stephens could be on the verge of losing his title!” Mak Francis bellows. The World Champion staggers back up to his feet, clearly woozy and not in the best of states… the camera quickly cuts to ringside where Lois the Unethical cheers her husband on…






“OH MY GOD!” Mak yells, all Franchise-cool forgotten, “I think that was… yes, Jimmy just hit Michael Stephens with the BOSTON MONKEY BLOW!”


“WHAT!?” Suicide King yelps, “I wasn’t looking! What was it! I’ve never seen that move performed!”


“Wait King, Doom’s going for the cover!”




























Now it is Jimmy The Doom’s turn to look at Brian Warner in surprise and shock, but the referee signals that Michael Stephens managed to get his shoulder off the canvas in time, and is - for the moment at least - still World Champion! Some of the fans can’t believe it, but they are all chanting for their favoured wrestler and the roof of the Bell Centre seems about to blow off!


“Seriously Mak, I’m intrigued,” Suicide King says, “what sort of move was the Boston Monkey Blow?”


“It’s… well, it’s difficult to describe,” Mak Francis admits, “can we get a replay of it up, Danny?”


In the ring, Jimmy The Doom seems to have figured that with one of the most spectacular weapons in his arsenal coming up short, it’s time to go back to basics. He hauls Stephens up and places him in a front facelock, then hauls the battered Englishman up and over with a vertical suplex.


“We can’t? Well, see if you can get those technical problems sorted buddy, the fans deserve to see that.”


Jimmy has now gone to the turnbuckles where climbs to the second rope, then leaps off with a body splash that connects with Stephens’ ribs and allows him to stay on top for…




















-but Stephens kicks out! Jimmy The Doom takes this further setback in his stride, and with the Englishman still struggling groggily to get to his feet Doom heads for the ringpost again, this time stepping out onto the apron and then climbing to the top buckle! Michael Stephens manages to rise to a vertical base and starts to look around for his opponent, and it is at this point that Jimmy leaps off the top and grabs the World Champion before bringing him down with the Majestic Cradle!
























“That’s the second time tonight Jimmy The Doom has been on the brink of pinning Michael Stephens and completing this upset to win the World Title,” Mak Francis exclaims, “but so far the defending champion has managed to squirm his way out of trouble!”


However, it looks like Jimmy The Doom isn’t going to be taking any more squirming - he lifts Michael Stephens up from the mat and clamps both hands around his opponent’s throat, nodding his head solemnly as the crowd rises in anticipation of the Jimmy Bomb… but Michael Stephens is anticipating it as well, and Doom’s rare playing to the crowd costs him as Stephens is able to pry his hands away, then twist behind his opponent in a split second with a hammerlock to the right arm. Doom is taken off-guard and fires back with a left elbow, trying to hit the World Champion in the head; he fails, but Stephens snakes his left arm up under Jimmy’s to secure a half-nelson, then releases the hammerlock to grab the waist of Doom’s cut-off jeans and haul the challenger off his feet, then sit out and slam him into the mat with a signature half-nelson facebuster!




However, although Jimmy The Doom has been stopped in his tracks Michael Stephens is not in a good way, and the World Champion has not been able to to get a cover on his opponent. Both men lie on the mat as the fans chant for their favourite competitor:






Brian Warner starts to issue a double count, but before he gets very far Stephens has managed to crawl over to Doom and grabs his opponent's head in both hands before delivering a headbutt... but Jimmy takes the shot, gets up to his knees and fires off a Hand of Doom to Stephens' throat! The World Champion rolls away clutching his neck and Doom gets to one knee, then to a vertical base, and heads after the Englishman! Stephens tries to get some distance to regain his breath by Jimmy's having none of it and he catches up with his opponent, then hauls Mike to his feet and Irish whips him into the turnbuckles. Stephens hits back-first and Jimmy charges in after him... but the champion dodges to one side and Doom's chest collides with the turnbuckles!




Doom staggers backwards from the impact... and Michael Stephens runs past him, reaching up to snare his opponent in a 3/4 facelock as he goes and running up the turnbuckles for the Sunny In England!


"He's got the rope!" Francis yells...


...and indeed, one of Jimmy's lanky arms has reached out to grab the top rope; accordingly, when Michael Stephens flips over backwards Doom is just - just - able to remain upright, causing Stephens to lose his grip and land facedown on the mat with no reward! Jimmy's neck has still been snapped painfully as the World Champion lost his grip but the Doomtopian is able to fight through the pain and drags Stephens to his feet, then clamps both hands around the Englishman's windpipe and lifts Mike off his feet before slamming him down with the Jimmy Bomb!






Whatever their personal preferences, the crowd knows that they might be on the verge of seeing the World Title change hands...





















...but Michael Stephens kicks out, causing at least half of the Bell Centre to cheer again! Jimmy looks up at Brian Warner with disbelief writ large across his moustachioed face, but he seems to grudgingly accept the official's verdict and slowly gets back to his feet. Michael Stephens hasn't moved since kicking out and has in fact settled back onto his back after firing one shoulder off the mat; Doom looks down at him for a second, perhaps considering whether he should go for another pin, but then decides against it. With renewed purpose the man from Doomopolis, Doomtopia turns and walks towards the corner of the ring, steps through the ropes to the apron and begins climbing towards the top rope!






"Fans, Michael Stephens is in trouble and it could be about to get a lot worse for him," Mak Francis says tensely, "because I think Jimmy The Doom could be about to go for Jimmy's Jump!"


"...and 230lbs of moron landing headfirst on you is gonna hurt," the Suicide King confirms.


Jimmy The Doom reaches the top rope, looks up to check on Michael Stephens' position in the ring... and realises an unfortunate truth. Playing possum is a risky strategy and relies on your opponent not only being taken in, but also in having the ability and speed to launch your surprise attack before you can be taken back down again… but unluckily for Jimmy The Doom, he was taken in, and Michael Stephens does have that ability.


The World Champion has taken a beating and he certainly can't move as fast as he did early on in the evening, but he's able to roll to his feet and charge towards the corner where Jimmy is perched. The Doom hesitates for a crucial half-second, not sure what to do... and in that half-second Stephens reaches him, then springboards up off the second rope to deliver a massive enzuigiri to the back of Jimmy's head!






"...he held on!" Mak yells, "Jimmy The Doom is still on the top rope - only just, but he is!"


Sure enough, the Straight-Bread Sensation has managed to avoid a painful fall to the canvas and, although slumped in an uncomfortable sitting position on the top buckle, is hanging on.




"Unfortunately Mak," Suicide King smirks, "that just means he has further to fall. You don't think Toxxic's going to leave him there, do you?"


Indeed, the same thing seems to be passing through the mind of the Englishman in the ring. Stephens look up at Doom and his face sets into a grimace; then he gets to his feet and starts to climb the buckles. Jimmy tries to fight him off, but he's woozy as hell and is unable to resist as Stephens nails him with a right hand, then basically bends Doom double and applies a double-underhook. For a moment it looks like Stephens won't be able to go through with his plan; Doom isn't that much heavier than him, but his lanky form is not easy to manipulate.


Then Stephens grits his teeth and heaves, and Jimmy The Doom comes up; as Stephens leaps backwards and twist in the air Doom comes AROUND...


...AND DOWN...


...AND DOWN...






"Top-rope Triple S!" Mak Francis bawls as the Jimmy The Doom gets dumped onto his face with the Stephens Shock Syndrome, "that has got to be it!"


With pain on his face and a grunt of effort, Michael Stephens rolls Jimmy onto his back and rolls into the pin, taking care as he does so to hook the leg...






















...and just this once, Mak Francis was right on that call.




“Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner and still SWF World Heavyweight Champion, MIIIIIIIIII-CHAEL… STEEEEEEEEEEEE-PHENS!!” Funyon booms as Michael Stephens rolls away and out of the ring, where he collects both his belts from the timekeeper.


“Well, Jimmy The Doom pushed Michael Stephens hard, but in the end he came through to retain the title-” Mak Francis says.


“-and now has the prospect of Tom Flesher on the horizon,” Suicide King cuts in, “so may as well kiss his title reign goodbye.”


“You forget that Michael Stephens beat Tom Flesher the only other time they’ve gone one-on-one,” Francis chides his commentary partner as Amy Stephens punches one of the end druids, starting a falling domino effect that goes right down the entrance ramp, round the ring and back up the other side of the ramp, “that’s got to be preying on Tom’s mind…”


“Yeah, whatever. Say, do you reckon they’ll have the replay of that Boston Monkey Blow by Storm?”


As druids topple around him, Michael Stephens raises the World Title in the air while the fans cheer. What comes, comes. However, it will find him waiting.


And ready.






©Smartmarks Wrestling Federation 2006

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