SWF FROM THE FIRE 2007~!

[Ace309 0]

“Hey! I want you to meet somebody,” Johnny Dangerous says as he walks through the door of the Wild and Dangerous locker room. At his side is a voluptuous, down right beautiful brunette wearing a black skirt and blouse—cleavage in abundance—with a smile that’d get a ‘yes ma’am’ out of any man. “This is Sydney, from Sydney!”

 

Wildchild glares at his tag partners date. In all of the time he’s spent with Johnny Dangerous he’s come to expect this type of thing – a new location, a new girl. It’s almost like a kid bringing home a stray dog all the time and then begging to be able to keep it. For the Barracuda, though, it’s stray women. Like usual, it’d be up to Wildchild to get Johnny Dangerous to think with the right body part.

 

“Nice to meet you,” Melissa Fasaki greets with an extended hand. She shakes Sydney’s hand then steps back to nudge her boyfriend to tell Johnny that he couldn’t keep her.

 

“So,” Dominic begins. He’s careful to tread lightly on the subject. Even though he knows the woman is seeking nothing more than a moment in the spotlight, he knows he can’t tell Johnny that. He’s going to have to give beating around the bush a whole new meaning. “How about ‘dem King’s last-”

 

“Don’t you think this is wonderful,” says Johnny, beaming from ear-to-ear. “Here I am on the verge of making it back to the top of this federation. All I have to do is beat Alan Clark once again, take my title back, and then I’m one step away! I know what you’re thinking, Nic,” Dangerous asserts, waving a finger like he’s two steps ahead of Wildchild. “Your going to say I can’t handle being at the top - I let it take over my life. Not no more, though! No sir! I want to prove, for once and for all, that Johnny Dangerous can be the number one guy and do it right.”

 

Johnny smiles at Wildchild, nodding his head, then continues some more. “We’ve just got the Tag Championship back – Wild and Dangerous is where it’s at. I’m making waves solo--just like you—and just like you as well… now I’m going to have someone to come to the ring with me.”

 

“Maybe so,” Wildchild finally cuts in. “However, ‘dink fer a second Johnny. You dink ‘dat ya can jus’ go in ‘dere’ and beat Alan Clark jus’ cause ya done it before-”

 

“Three times before,” Johnny says, holding up three fingers.

 

“Yeah, I know ‘dat, Johnny. Alan Clark isn’t ‘da same old Alan Clark anymore in case ya haven’t noticed. He beat Toxxic, fer crying out loud! I can also beatcha dat’ he’s gonna be damned sure ‘dat he doesn’t loose ‘ta you again. He’s gonna’ try and do whatever he has ‘ta do ta’ beat ya. I wouldn’t put it past him ‘ta use Sydney here ‘ta aide him in ‘dat.”

 

“Are you forgetting how limited Clark is? Remember this; Alan Clark has a strict set of guidelines that Disney has for him. He can’t toss me through tables. He can’t hit me with chairs, and he surely can’t beat up Sydney.”

 

“No, but accident’s do happen, Johnny”

 

“…”

 

Johnny furrows his brow then turns to Sydney as he opens the door to the locker room. “Would you mind giving us a minute here,” he says. Nodding she obliges, shutting the door behind her as Johnny spins back around towards Wildchild.

 

“He’s right, Johnny,” Melissa speaks up as she steps out from behind Wildchild. “I come down to the ring with Nic, but I know the risk. I know what could happen. It isn’t fair to Sydney that she is placed it that type of situation until she is absolutely, and fully aware of what could happen. Besides, you need to think with your brain.”

 

Johnny glares at her and she steps back behind Wildchild. “Please,” she says from over Dominic’s shoulder.

 

“She’s right,” says Wildchild, “and you know ‘dat she is. Look, if ya can make it to ‘da top ‘den do it. You can’t go in ta ‘dis underestimatin’ Alan Clark, an all ‘dat, ‘dough. Ya have ‘ta be sharp and ya can’t have no distractions.”

 

“Alright,” the Barracuda agrees. “I’ll tell her to stay backstage until after the show. She really wanted to be able to come to ringside, but I can’t risk her like that – you’re right. I don’t need anything getting in the way of me beating the Mickey Mouse out of Alan Clark… again.”

 

“Good, ‘den go get’em, Champ,” Dominic says, before bumping fist with the Barracuda…

 

 

 

 

As We:

FADE OUT.

Edited March 31, 2007 by Ace309

[Ace309 0]

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation Presents...

SWF FROM THE FIRE 2007!

From the sold-out Acer Arena in Sydney, Australia!
Taped Wednesday, March 28, at 10 PM Eastern time; airing Thursday, March 29; send everything to Ace309



THE MAIN EVENT - LADDER MATCH - WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
"The Beast" Gabriel Drake vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix
---> Maddix earned his shot by winning the Clusterf*ck, but there's more to this story than that. Say all you want that it's nothing personal, but Megan Skye will attest to the fact that these two athletes have gotten under each other's skin deeper than anyone expected. Tonight, these two settle their score, and the SWF World Championship will be decided in a ladder match!
Rules: The SWF World Championship will be suspended twenty feet above the ring. There will be one ladder readily available, at the foot of the ramp, with others stored under the ring. The first man to scale the ladder and retrieve the belt will be declared the winner.
Send to: Ace309

SUB-MAIN EVENT - SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Alan Clark © vs. Johnny Dangerous
---> The very first International Champion, Johnny Dangerous, is riding high after winning one-half of the SWF Tag Team Championships with his loyal partner, the Wildchild! Alan Clark, meanwhile, is trying to recover from his loss to the World Champion several weeks ago, and for whatever reason, we expect him to be a little bit tired, although I'm not sure why. Either way, these two have squared off more than once, and it's always a barnburner. They're going to tear the place down.
Rules: Standard singles match.
Send to: chirs3

GRUDGE MATCH
Toxxic vs. Danny Williams
---> As Mrs. Landingham might have said, Toxxic's having a little bit of a day. Los Galactico's title reign was brought to an abrupt end on Storm, effectively killing what forward momentum he might have brought to From the Fire! And when you're facing a man like Danny Williams, momentum is definitely not something you want to lose. At From the Fire, Toxxic continues his battle to return to the main event spotlight against the newly-returned Deathwish - can the Straight-Edge Sensation turn his luck around, or was the loss on Storm only the beginning of his end?
Rules: Standard singles match.
Send to: Justice

SINGLES MATCH
Mirror Max vs. Craig McLennan
---> Tom Flesher is a little suspicious of this Mirror Max fellow, but he isn't free to speculate on Max's identity. However, he thought it would be nice if Max wrestled not long before the International Championship match. Why? Oh, no reason.
Rules: Standard.
Send to: Ace309

TWO FALLS, TWO TITLES
Wildchild vs. Jimmy the Doom vs. Calvin Szechstein
---> With Zack Malibu taking the night off to prepare for the OAOAST pay-per-view three days later, Calvin Szechstein is given the opportunity to play spoiler as two of the most dominant champions in SWF history try to defend their titles despite a radical change in style halfway through the match! Who comes out the winner?
Rules: The first fall will be conducted under hardcore rules (falls count anywhere, no disqualifications), and only Jimmy the Doom's Hardcore Championship will be on the line. The second fall will be conducted under cruiserweight rules (no throws over the top, 20 count on the outside), and only Wildchild's World Cruiserweight Championship will be on the line. The wrestler who suffers the loss in the hardcore fall is NOT eliminated.
Send to: chirs3

SINGLES MATCH
The Fabulous Jakey vs. JJ Johnson
---> The Fabulous Jakey's debut one week ago showed great promise - unfortunately, JJ Johnson feeds on the blood of spunky young upstarts.

Seriously.

He pours it on his cereal.

Can Jakey succeed where so many others have failed, and take down Johnson on the grand stage of From the Fire?
Rules: Standard singles match.
Send to: Ace309

TAG TEAM CONTEST
The Layman Family (George and Louis) vs. Ced Ordonez and "The Extreme Solution" Jonathan Clarke
---> The Night of A Thousand... er... five... Rookies continues! George and Louis Layman will attempt to live up to their family name as they make their SWF debut, teaming against the lean mean dancin' queen Ced Ordonez, and "The Extreme Solution" Jonathon Clarke!
Rules: Standard tag team match. Use the tag ropes.
Send to: Justice

TAG TEAM CONTEST
Team EMF (Rad Hazard and Rex) vs. Arne and Olaf Andersen
---> From The Fire is traditionally one of the biggest and best Pay Per Views of the year for the SWF - what better time for new blood to arrive? The EMF have only just debuted, and already they're turning heads! Upon their arrival, Rex and Rad Hazard announced that the SWF is on trial, and they shall serve as judge! Arne and Olaf Anderson will be the first to be judged - let's hope the SWF can measure up!
Rules: Standard tag. Use the tag ropes!
Send to: MikeofEvil

OPENING-TO-SUB-MAIN CONTEST - HARDCORE WHOLE-SHOW IRON MAN
Zyon vs. Insane Luchador
---> When it comes to the Hardcore division in the SWF, few have paid their dues like the Insane Luchador. Where some wrestlers might show off scars, a guy like IL shows off what few inches of skin haven't (yet) been cut open, burned off, or gnawed by badgers. One might be inclined, then, to question the wisdom of mouthing off to a guy like Rickmen, which is exactly what The Unique Youth did a few weeks ago. What started as a clashing of egos during an interview has quickly developed into all-out war! At From the Fire, two hardcore icons - one from the old school, and one from the new - will come face to face in a grueling test of endurance... the whole-show Iron Man.
Rules: This match will start in the ring and continue until the end of the sub-main-event. Falls count anywhere. The wrestler with the most pins and submissions will win. Each writer can write up to 5 segments to go anywhere during the show. Feel free to talk to other writers, but avoid breaks in continuity because they'll make me sad. Catch me if you have any questions.
Send to:Ace309

[Ace309 0]

Iron Man slot #1

[Ace309 0]

Funyon : “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Tag Team match scheduled for ONE FALL!”

 

‘Pursuit of Vikings’ by Amon Amarth plays as Arne and Olaf Anderson walk down to the ring, talking trash all the way.

 

Funyon : “Making their way down the aisle, representing the Four Norseman, at a combined weight of 490 pounds, Arne and Olaf, They are…THEEEEEEEE AAAAANDERSEEEEEEEENSSS!!!

 

Boos fill the arena as The Andersens enter the ring. Olaf egotistically yells back at the crowd.

 

Moments pass and suddenly "This Is Extreme" By Harry Slash and the Slashtones roars out of the speakers.

 

Funyon : “And their opponents, representing the Extreme Measures Federation and being accompanied to the ring by Shigedy and Shwa, weighing in at a combined weight of 605 pounds, the team of Rad Hazard and “The Hardcore Powerbomb Machine” Rex, They are… TEEEEEAAAM…EEEEEE…MMMMMMM…FFFFFFFF!!!

 

A swirl of cheers and booes rush the approaching Team EMF. Rex walks down the aisle, completely unfazed of the fans reaction, his eyes dead set on the Andersens in the ring. Rad Hazard walks close behind him, raising his arms towards booing fans in the aisle. Holding the rear, Shigedy and Shwa accompany Rex and Rad Hazard to the ring, waving EMF flags.

 

Mak Francis : “Now, a lot of people were surprised to see these Extreme Measures Federation guys invade our organization last week and were asking questions, so I looked up their history and found out sime interesting tidbits, like, apparently while Rex and Rad Hazard are being introduced as Team EMF, they’re real tag team name in EMF itself is actually “Truth Or Consequence”, much like Shigedy and Shwa’s real tag team name is “Wrestling Professionals For Tag Teams Wrestle”, but outside their own organization, they are collectively known as Team EMF.”

 

Extreme King : “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn‘t know that “The Professor” Mike Tenay was going to be our special guest color commentator tonight.

 

Mak Francis : “Oh, knock it off king, this Extreme Measures Federation actually has quite a rich history of interfederation dominance, but I’m still confident that our own SWF is more than a match for ANY other organization.”

 

All business, Rex and Rad Hazard climb into the ring and as the music dies, both teams face off in the middle of the ring. Rex and Arne stare holes into each other while Rad and Olaf trash talk beside them. The referee calls for the bell.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Mak Francis : “Oh, you can FEEL the intensity. Arne and Rex are actually quite similar in size and style. The same can be said for Olaf and Rad. This is as good a debut match, comparison wise, as they could possibly get.”

 

Extreme King : “Well, let’s see if these EMF guys are as good as they say they are. I want to see if THEY can live up to OUR standards!”

 

Suddenly, Arne strikes Rex and Rad strikes Olaf. Leading to a pair of fistfights in the ring. The crowd erupts at the sight. Rex and Arne’s punch their way through the ropes and to the outside. Their fight continues up the ramp way.

 

Inside the ring, Olef’s lightning fast punches back Rad into a corner, where he uses the tag rope to choke him. The ref begins to count for a break.

 

One.

 

Two

 

Three

 

Four

 

Olef finally releases the choke.

 

Still outside the ring, Rex kicks Arne in the gut and picks him up to perform his running powerbomb “Overkill” finisher, but as he begins to run, Arne is able to wiggle free behind Rex. As Rex turns around, he is spinebustered onto the steel rampway!

 

Mak Francis : “Oh my god! Spinebuster on the steel ramp way! Arne just hit Rex with his finisher and it’s we’re only a minute into the match!”

 

Extreme King : “Haha! SWF! SWF! SWF!”

 

Rex continues to lay on the steel in pain as Arne begins to walk back to the ring where Rad has begun to mount a comeback with punches to the face. Rad tosses Olaf into the ropes. On his way back, Rad jumps over him, on his second go around, Rad dives under him but as he returns for a third time, Rad nails Olaf in the head with a picture perfect dropkick! As the fans cheer in approval, Rad runs into the ropes, but his momentum is stopped when Arne, trips Rad up in his way to his corner, sending Rad stumbling back into Olaf, who takes advantage with a DDT.

 

Extreme King : “Hey! Talk about right place at the right time.”

 

Olaf goes for the cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Quick kickout by Rad. Olaf quickly tags Arne in and the two double team Rad with a double Russian legsweep. As Olaf walks to the corner, Arne goes for another cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Another kickout by Rad Hazard. Arne picks Rad up and throws him into the ropes for a sidewalk slam. Arne quickly takes advantage and begins to clobber Rad with elbow smashes. Eventually, Arne goes for a kick, but it is blocked into an inziguri! As Arne goes down, Rad crawls to his corner only to discover that Rex is nowhere to be found.

 

Mak Francis : “Oh no! Rex is still down from being spinebustered all the way up the ramp! He’s crawling towards the ring, but he hasn’t made it back yet! Rad is on his own against the Andersens!”

 

Rad eventually turns back only to be caught by Arne in a belly-to-belly suplex. Anre goes for another cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Rad kicks out again! Anre picks Rad up and throws him back into the ropes, only this time Rad is able to hold onto the ropes and stop his momentum. Rad begins to point to something behind Arne and as Arne turns around, he is hit with his own finisher by Rex! The crowd explodes in suprize!

 

Mak Francis : “ Whoa! Rex came back out of NOWHERE and hit Anre with his own finisher! Talk about humiliation!”

 

Rex rolls out of the ring and into his corner as Rad makes a cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Arne kicks out. The tiring Rad tags Rex into the match. Rex begins to stalk his prey, crouching behind Arne as he gets up. As soon as Arne reaches his feet, Rex tosses him backwards with a half nelson suplex. Rex quickly gets up and runs into the Andersen’s corner, punching Olaf in the face. In anger, Olef attempts to get in the ring, causing a distraction for the referee. Rex and Rad take advantage by double teaming Arne with a back body drop/neckbreaker combo.

 

Extreme King : “Hey, that’s not fair!”

 

Mak Francis : “Oh, but the Andersens are doing everything fair and square, right king?”

 

Extreme King : “Hey, the Andersens are just doing what they gotta do, but these guys, they’re just cheating!”

 

Mak Francis : “Riiiiight.”

 

Rex takes the opportunity to go to the top rope and deliver a devastating diving head BUTT. Rex goes for the cover just as the referee regains focus of the match.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Arne weakly kicks out! Rex firmly applies a dragon sleeper. The referee asks Arne if he wants to surrender. After a few moments of watching Arne in pain, Olaf can’t take it anymore and kicks Rex in the face, causing him to fall back, breaking the hold. Wanting to see Arne submit, the crowd boos.

 

Rex gets back up in a rage and wildly swings at Olef, already back in his corner. This time Olaf is able to duck the punch and guillotines Rex on the ropes. Rex bounces off and back into Arne’s hold, picking Rex up and crushing him with a running power slam! Arne goes for another cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Rex kicks out. Arne swiftly tags Olaf in. Once Rex stands up on his own power, Olaf jumps off of the top rope and deliver a missile dropkick! Olaf picks up the stumbling Rex and throws him into the Andersen’s corner. As Olaf has a discussion with the referee, Arne chokes Rex with the tag rope.

 

Mak Francis : “Aw, c’mon ref! This is getting to be too much!”

 

Extreme King : “Say, who’s side are you on anyway?”

 

Mak Francis : “I’m trying to be as impartial as I possibly can.”

 

Extreme King : “Whatever….traitor.”

 

The crowd begins to yell a storm, which eventually gets the attention of the referee, whom finally sees the choke and begins to count for a break.

 

One.

 

Two.

 

Three.

 

Four.

 

Fi-

 

Arne lets go of the rope just in time for a break. Olaf immediately begins to talk trash at Rad in the corner, pissing him off enough to try to get back into the ring. The referee predictably rushes over to restrain Rad and keep him in his corner. Another distraction gives Arne the opportunity to choke Rex yet again with the tag rope.

 

Mak Francis : “Aw, not again!”

 

Extreme King : “Yes! Again!”

 

The fans again begin to yell at the ring, giving Rex a second wind. Rex begins to elbow over and over again until he lets go of the tag rope. Rex superkicks Anre off of the ring apron adjusting his attention back to Olaf, who is still talking trash to the pissed off Rad and is unaware of what is happening behind him. Soon, Olaf turn around and sees Rex charging at him with a spear, but is fast enough to dodge the spar. Rex heads straight for the referee and Rad, but is able to put on the breaks just in time.

 

Mak Francis : “Woah! Close call for the ref there!”

 

As Rex turns back around, he is hit with a running cross body pin by Olaf. The referee begins to count.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Rex is able to kick out just in time. Olaf promptly ascends the top rope, but Rad, still pissed off from Olaf’s trash talking, runs across the apron and pushes Olaf off of the top turnbuckle, sending him crashing down onto the ringside railing! The crowd cheers the descent.

 

Extreme King : “Hey that’s unfair!”

 

Mak Francis : “I don’t think being fair really matters at this point. They’re all so pissed off at each other that this is getting personal quick!”

 

Shigedy and Shwa, as genuinely nice as they are, try to help Olaf up. Arne, still hurting from the superkick on the outside, fears that they are hurting Olaf and rushes over to his tag team partner. The standoff between the Andersens and Shigedy and Shwa is cut short when Rad Hazard dives off of the top rope with a flying cross body onto the Andersons! The crowd again erupts for the fearless act.

 

Mak Francis : “Wow! He took both Andersons out there! What a move!”

 

Extreme King : “See, this is all those Uzbek guys fault! Get them out of here!”

 

Just as all partys involved begin to return to their feet, Rex, still inside the ring, makes a split second decision and hurls his 320 pound form at the Andersons with a suicide dive! The crowd is even more astonished of the feat!

 

Mak Francis : “Oh my god! How can someone that big do something that high risk!? That was insane!”

 

Small chants of “EMF! EMF! EMF!” can be heard in parts of the arena, which only begins a small “EMF! SWF!” chanting war between fans in the audience.

 

As Rex and Rad finally make their way back into the ring, the referee begins to count against the Andersens.

 

One.

 

Two.

 

Three.

 

Four.

 

Five.

 

Six.

 

Seven.

 

Eight.

 

Olaf finally makes it back into the ring to break the count. As he does so, Rex tags Rad in, allowing Rad to quickly run over and stomp Olaf down as he crawls back into the ring. Rad throws Olaf into the ropes to deliver a running back blow. With Olaf down, Rad applies a standing Boston Crab. As the referee asks Olaf if he wants to submit, Arne runs into the ring and closelines Rad down, breaking the hold. This is the final straw for Rex, whom storms into the ring and exchanges fists with Arne.

 

Mak Francis : “I think the referee is beginning to lose control again.”

 

Extreme King : “Do these referee ever have control in the first place?”

 

Mak Francis : “Touché.”

 

Arne begins to get the best of Rex with his punches and runs to the ropes to hit him harder, but as he comes back, Rex spears Arne and himself through the ropes and to the floor, leaving Rad and Olaf again on their own. As Rad runs toward Olaf, Olaf is able to utilize a drop toe hold to force Rad onto the second rope. From there he delivers his “Crescent Moon” legdrop onto the back of Rad’s head. Olaf uses the opportunity to go to the top rope attempts to deliver a frog splash, but Rad is barely able to roll out of the way just in time. The referee begins to count both men down.

 

One.

 

Two.

 

Three.

 

Four.

 

Five.

 

Six.

 

Seven.

 

Rad finally makes it to his feet.

 

Meanwhile, Rex and Arne continues to brawl around the ring. Rex eventually decides to toss Arne into the steep steps, but Arne is able to reverse the maneuver and Rex hit’s the metal instead.

 

Mak Francis : “Ouch.”

 

Back inside the ring, Rad grabs Olaf and throws him at full speed chest first into the turnbuckles. As the impact sends Olaf stumbling back into the middle of the ring, Rad kicks him in the stomach and positions him for his “Realization” Cradle Piledriver finisher. Rad yells “EMF!” to the crowd to a mix of cheers and boos before hitting his finisher with authority!

 

Extreme King : “Oh no!”

 

Rad falls on top of Olaf as the referee begins to count. Sensing the end, the fans begin to count as well.

 

ONE!!!

 

TWO!!!

 

THR-

 

Wait! Arne rushes the ring and stops the count, stomping all over Rad’s anatomy.

 

Extreme King : “Phew! That was a close one!”

 

Arne tosses Rad into the ropes only for Rad to catch Arne with a Tilt-A-Whirl Headscissors, sending Arne back out of the ring! As Rad returns his focus on Olaf, he is hit with a surprise dropkick. The still rattled Olaf begins to ascend the turnbuckles from Rad‘s corner, but takes too much time, as Rad is able get back up and meet Olaf at the top.

 

Outside, the dazed Arne stands up to find himself face to face again with an enraged Rex. Their fistfight continues outside.

 

Back inside the ring, Olaf is finally able to punch Rad down, sending him to crash hard onto the mat. Olaf, still dazed, hit’s a near perfect “Eclipse” Spiral Tap, but does not land on top of Rad, thus leaving him unpinned.

 

Extreme King : “C’mon Olaf! Finish it!”

 

Mak Francis : “The man has to be exhausted by now. Something as simple as a cover can become a huge test of willpower.”

 

Moments go by before the exhausted Olaf crawls over to Rad and drops an arm over him. The referee and the fans begin to count.

 

ONE!!!

 

TWO!!!

 

TH-

 

No! Rex was able to break the cover just in time, but is immediately pulled back outside the ring by Arne, where Arne misses a swing and exposes his back just long enough for Rex to apply his “Rextinction” Tazzmission onto to the excitement of the fans ringside. Arne slowly slips into unconsciousness.

 

Extreme King : “Oh no! We’re losing Arne!”

 

Meanwhile. The downed warriors inside the ring slowly crawl to their feet, using the ropes as leverage. Before Rad knows it, he is hit with a clothesline and thrown into his corner’s turnbuckle. Olaf hits Rad with another devastating clothesline in the corner before picking up Rad’s lifeless body and setting him onto the top rope for a superplex. As this is happening, Rex returns to his corner and hit’s a blind tag on Rad’s back, allowing him to get back into the ring and grab Olaf, already on the top rope.

 

Extreme King : “He can’t do that!”

 

Mak Francis : “Hey, it’s his corner and as long as he’s in rope distance, he can tag his partner.”

 

 

Rex pulls Olaf away from the turnbuckle and onto his shoulder sending him crashing down with Rex’s “Overkill” Overarm running powerbomb! The crowd cheers the finisher. The referee and the fans again make the count.

 

ONE!!!

 

TWO!!!

 

THREE!!!

 

Extreme King : Nooooooooooooo!

 

Funyon : “Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this contest, the team of Rad Hazard and “The Hardcore Powerbomb Machine” Rex, TEEEEEAAAM…EEEEEE…MMMMMMM…FFFFFFFF!!!”

 

As “This Is Extreme” By Harry Slash and the Slashtones resumes on the speakers, Shigedy and Shwa run into the ring, overly excited as usual. They swing their EMF flags wildly in celebration to a mix of cheers and boos. The referee Raises the arm of Rex, but is unable to get any real reaction out of Rad. He is nearly knocked out. Rex takes Rad from the top rope and holds him up until he can walk under his own power again.

Extreme King : “Look at them! They can barely stand!”

 

Mak Francis : “Well, it’s better than the Andersens, whom aren’t standing at all.”

 

Rex then grabs the mic to make a statement.

 

Rex : “Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe that that makes the score EMF : One. SWF : Zero! Hahahahahaha!”

 

Extreme King : “Oh, sure, rub it in!”

 

Mak Francis : “Don’t worry king, this is only day one. We have a whole trial to prove them wrong.”

 

Extreme King : “…I think I’m gonna be sick.”

 

Rex drops the mic with his trademark demonic smirk just as Team EMF leaves the ring and begins to make their way to the back.

[Ace309 0]

Iron Man slot #2

[Ace309 0]

The camera is back on Suicide King and The Franchise just as a RED FLASH fills the arena and loud techno music is pumped from the speakers.

 

“Don’t we get courtesy ear plugs?” Suicide King rhetorically asks.

“Often I ask myself the same thing,” Mak Francis replies.

 

The Fabulous Jakey emerges from the back, wearing a light blue suit jacket with pressed-on pictures of koala bears.

 

“I don’t want to know where he got that jacket,” Suicide King says, “But I do want to know how much he paid for it.”

 

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall!” Funyon declares. “Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 160 pounds, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, THE FABULOUS JAKEY!”

 

Traipsing to the ring, Jakey winks at a cheering university girl in the front row and walks up the stairs. He looks to the audience before going in the ring through the ropes. He takes off the suitcoat and places it very carefully in the corner, then whispers a word of caution to the referee. Jakey stands in the middle of the ring and stares at the entrance way.

 

“Well, Jakey certainly looks determined, but I don’t know how ready he’s gonna be for his opponent tonight!” Mak Francis hypothesizes.

“And I think he’s wearing lip gloss,” Suicide King notes.

“You notice the attire and now the lip gloss? I’m not saying anything,” Francis smarts.

 

The lights go off and an ominous chanting begins.

 

BOOM!

 

A red and white pyro goes off and the crowd rises to its feet. JJ Johnson emerges through the smoke.

 

“His opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, weighing in at 228 lbs., JJ JOHNSON!”

 

“The Canadian Murder Machine!” Mak Francis cries.

 

“Mr. Cold Front Classic!” Suicide King tries to get over.

 

“Former International and Cruiserweight Champion nonetheless!” Mak Francis argues. “Hailing from the great city of Toronto!”

 

Ignoring the crowd, JJ gamely walks down the entrance ramp and enters the ring through the ropes. He stands on the second rope and takes off his sunglasses, then does a crucifix pose. JJ hops off and removes his track jacket, then stares at where Jakey put his suitcoat. Jakey whispers something to the ref and the ref tells something to JJ. JJ has a “WTF?” kind of reaction and throws his jacket at the ref.

 

“JJ having some attitude right away!” Mak observes. The ref shakes off the jacket and orders the bell to be rung.

 

DING DING DING!

 

The men stare each other down at opposing sides of the ring before starting with a grapple. JJ gets Jakey in a headlock right away, but Jakey quickly swings around and wraps his arms around the guy’s stomach. JJ tries to go for a back elbow but Jakey ducks, and this happens on a second occasion. JJ angrily stomps on Jakey’s foot and it causes him to let go.

 

“Well, not the most textbook way to get out of it,” Mack notes.

“There’s a textbook?” Suicide King asks.

 

JJ bounces off the ropes and looks to attempt a clothesline, but Jakey slides out of the ring before JJ’s return is complete. JJ yells at him to get in the ring and shakes his head.

 

“JJ’s not gonna fall for this trick!” Mack cries.

 

Jakey talks trash, but JJ pretends to yawn and checks his wrist where a watch would be. Jakey continues to walk around the ring, but JJ doesn’t bite. JJ instead backs up to where Jakey’s precious suitcoat is and teases picking it up. Jakey runs to the corner where JJ and the coat is and dives into the ring, and JJ pounds on him with authority. JJ picks Jakey up and throws him into the opposing turnbuckle, then runs and does a charging clothesline with velocity. JJ picks up an injured Jakey and drapes him over the top rope.

 

“I hate this move!” Suicide King cries.

 

JJ jumps off the top rope, double stomping Jakey’s back.

 

“The Lumbarjack connects!” Mack yells.

 

JJ throws Jakey off the ropes, then nails him with a swift knee to the face. Jakey hunches over and is met with another kick to the face, one so audible that the crowd yells in unison.. JJ picks up Jakey again and throws him off the ropes again, then hits a beautiful Yakuza kick that knocks the man down.

 

“Jakey’s gonna need to call a surgeon by the time this match is over!” Mack predicts.

 

JJ picks Jakey up and knees him in the face AGAIN, then throws him into the turnbuckle where his track jacket is. With blood coming from his nose, Jakey stays in the corner to try to grab a second wind. Meanwhile, JJ walks to the next turnbuckle where the koala coat is and picks it up. Jakey grimaces worse than he has from the kicks.

 

JJ laughs and holds the coat in front of a battered Jakey, then RIPS IT! JJ smiles and throws the ripped coat over the ring, then turns around and walks right into a Lou Thesz Press!

 

“Who knew Jakey would get so mad over a coat?” Suicide King cries.

“Well, maybe it was a rental!” Mack refutes.

 

Jakey punches JJ several times before blatantly choking him.

 

“C’mon, ref, that’s a choke!” Mack yells.

 

The ref counts to four before Jakey breaks. The ref moves the pieces of the coat, but while his back is turned, Jakey swiftly takes JJ’s track jacket and does a chokehold with the jacket wraped around JJ’s neck. Jakey notices the ref turns back around and drops the coat, but keeps the choke going on. This is not a Randy Orton match, so JJ gets to his feet rather quickly with the crowd’s approval, elbowing Jakey in the gut a few times, then going off the ropes and hitting a flying elbow that knocks Jakey down again.

 

JJ picks Jakey up and looks to be attempting some sort of front slam, but Jakey counters it by pulling on his beard!

 

“Come on!” Mack yells.

 

The ref admonishes Jakey, while Suicide King eats it up.

 

“For all the times JJ’s lied and said that’s happened in a match, now it happens right in front of the referee!”

 

JJ yells at the ref too, perhaps negotiating for a DQ. Whatever the plan, it backfires, because Jakey quickly rolls him up!

 

“Could have it here!” Mack yells.

 

ONE –

 

TWO –

 

JJ swiftly kicks out, so Jakey kicks him in the stomach and throws him off the ropes; JJ scores a Sunset Flip

 

ONE –

 

TWO –

 

Jakey counters it into a pinning predicament of his own

 

ONE –

 

TWO –

 

JJ overpowers it and gets Jakey pinned, but this time JJ grabs the bottom rope for good measure

 

“He’s got the rope! Hey ref!”

 

ONE –

 

TWO –

 

The referee catches the holding of the rope and breaks it, yells at JJ; Jakey counters the pin, but stands up once he gets JJ on his back, then dishes out a Halfcrab

 

“It’s not the most vicious maneuver, but JJ’s as far away as he can possibly be from the ropes!” Mack asserts. “He’s either gonna have to find a way to kick his free leg back as far as he can or crawl all the way to the other side of the ring!”

 

JJ holds on, but Jakey then repositions the maneuver into an STF;

 

“And now the Stepover Crossface! JJ has neck problems!”

 

Jakey refuses to let go and JJ begins to crawl towards the ropes; The ref asks if he’s going to give and he yells NO; With a grimace on his face, JJ uses his weight advantage and rolls through the move, getting Jakey on his back

 

“What a counter!” Mack cries.

 

ONE –

 

TWO –

 

“And Jakey kicks out of it!”

 

The men get to their feet and JJ hits the first offensive rebound with a STIFF Gamenjiri kick to the face that sends Jakey back to the ground.

 

“And I don’t know how much more this guy can take!” Mack cries.

 

JJ picks up Jakey and throws him off the ropes again in hopes of a sidewalk slam, but on the return Jakey counters the maneuver, getting into what looks like a headscissors, but then flipping over and wrapping his legs around the opponent’s head, while stretching JJ’s arm in a Fujiwa armbar (this is the Christo, or Satellite Submission)

 

“And the arm and neck of JJ have got to be killing him! Can he get out of this one?”

 

JJ stays on his feet for about ten seconds before crumbling to his knees;

 

“The man is down!” Suicide King cries.

 

The crowd is getting solidly behind JJ while Jakey is relentless, grasping on to JJ like a leech!

 

“What an upset this would be right here in Sydney!” Mack cries.

 

JJ further crumbles, finding himself facedown on the mat; The crowd continues to clap for JJ as he slowly begins to stir towards the bottom rope;

 

“Can he do it?!” Mack asks.

“Before his injury, no doubt!” Suicide King budges. “But everyone he came back too soon, and maybe even now that decision is haunting him!”

 

JJ lets out a groan as he reaches his free arm towards the bottom rope; With blood on his face and jersey, Jakey has an incredibly vindictive look on his face and yells “TAP OUT YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

 

JJ makes one last lunge towards the bottom rope and is almost there … the crowd continues their support … somewhere, somehow, JJ musters up the gumption to grab the bottom rope

 

“He’s got the ropes!” Mack cries.

 

The ref admonishes Jakey and tells him to break the damn hold

 

ONE –

 

TWO –

 

THREE—

 

FOUR—

 

Jakey breaks it , as JJ tries to get up with assistance from the ropes; Jakey goes right back to it, kicking JJ with an audible Football Kick to the spine; Jakey retreats and takes a run towards JJ, who has enough wits about him to launch Jakey over the top rope and out of the ring

 

“And Jakey perhaps took a risk there and paid for it! JJ buys himself some time!”

 

Jakey lies motionless on the floor while JJ takes a breather; The ref starts to count

 

ONE –

 

TWO –

 

Jakey stirs, and JJ is back up to his feet;

 

THREE –

 

Jakey gets back up to his feet and JJ talks smack;

 

FOUR –

 

JJ tells the ref to count faster and while JJ and the ref argue, Jakey trips JJ up and then gets back into the ring

 

“JJ picks the worst battles!” Mack argues.

 

Jakey gets JJ in a front face lock and signals for his finisher; Jakey launches himself off of the second rope

 

“This could be his version of the Springboard DDT!” Mack yells.

 

JJ counters the move by crotching Jakey on the top rope

 

“For the love of God!” Mack yells.

“That hurt ME!” Suicide King cries.

 

The crowd feels Jakey’s pain; JJ hits Jakey with a running knee and he falls onto the ring apron; JJ grabs Jakey by the legs so he’s in the center of the ring, and tries to end it with a cover

 

ONE –

 

TWO –

 

Jakey kicks out of it and JJ quickly regroups; While Jakey is seated, JJ hits violent Cowboy Kicks to the back;

 

“Jakey getting a taste of his own medicine!” Mack cries.

 

JJ picks Jakey up and goes for a strike, but Jakey blocks it with a bitchslap; Jakey goes for a clothesline of his own but JJ ducks it and hits one, followed by another; With the men closer to the ropes, JJ kicks Jakey in the gut and sets him up for a powerbomb

 

“This could do it!” Mack yells.

 

JJ picks Jakey up and has him ready, but Jakey counters it into a hurracanrana; With JJ’s shoulders precariously down on the mat, the ref is anxious to only look down towards those and fails to notice that Jakey has a hand on the rope

 

“ONE—

 

TWO—

 

JJ counters!”

 

JJ counters the pin into one of his own

 

ONE—

 

TWO—

 

THREE!”

 

“And surprisingly, this match is won without cheating!”

 

“Here is your winner, JJ JOHNSON!”

 

The referee raises JJ’s hand in victory, while JJ puts a hand to his heart, signifying that his win was an ethical one;

 

“JJ acting like he’s high and mighty, he had his share of fighting dirty in this match as well!”

 

A frustrated Jakey is at his feet and stares at JJ; With a mischievous smile, JJ extends his hand for a handshake

 

“Wait, wait, Jakey’s new, but he’s not gonna be dumb enough to fall for this, is he?” Mack cries.

“He did wear a suit with koala bears on it,” Suicide King demurs.

 

JJ smiles and waits for Jakey’s response; Jakey smiles back, then kicks JJ in the groin

 

“What a sore loser!” Mack cries.

 

“Oh, you really think JJ wasn’t gonna try something?” Suicide King yells.

 

“Well, we’ll never know if JJ was sincere or not with that handshake!” Mack yells. “Since Jakey has to storm out of here like a big baby after his first loss in the SWF!”

 

JJ coils on the mat while Jakey leaves the ring and wipes the last remnants of blood off his mouth; he turns around and is clearly seen mouthing “you deserved that you son of a bitch”, then walks to the back

[Ace309 0]

Iron Man slot #3

[Ace309 0]

The Gabriel Drake/Landon Maddix hype video fades out on the SmarkTron as From the Fire presented in part by Danny Williams' Strong Style Ribs rolls on. Raucous Aussies scream and shout as Sacred's third cousin and camera man, Greg Blackwell, zooms in on Mak Francis and the Suicide King.

 

"Damn if this hasn't been a great night of action, King. This show has everything, new faces clashing with old, grudges being settled, and titles at stake. Right now, two titles are set to be defended at the same time, and one man, Wildchild, has a chance to walk out with three belts," Mak says.

 

"He might hypothetically have that chance, Francis, but there's no way in hell it'll happen. I think it's more likely that he'll leave with the only piece of gold not being defended, the tag straps," King says.

 

"I don't know, King. He might not get the Jimmy the Doom's Hardcore belt, and I doubt that Calvin Szechstein will, either, but his style fits the cruiserweight rules perfectly. To be honest, 'Cadillac' Calvin looks to be the odd man out, as Doom is tough enough to retain in the Hardcore fall, and Wildchild can run circles around both men in the Cruiserweight portion of the match," Mak says.

 

"Like I want that guy to win? No thanks, Maddix shilling PepsiMAX is enough. I don't think I'll be able to take title defenses courtesy of Campbell's Soup. Of course, if I'm really, really lucky, Drake will twist Landon into a pretzel later tonight and keep him in the hospital for a few months," King says.

 

EEEEEEEEEVERYBODY KNOWS I'M IN OVER MY HEAD!

 

OVER MY HEEEEEEEEEAD!

 

Fray's "Over My Head (Cable Car)" hits, prompting Calvin Szechstein to appear at the top of the stage, arms outstretched.

 

Booooo!

 

Booooo!

 

Booooo!

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a three-way Two Titles, Two Falls match! The first fall will be conducted under Hardcore rules, with the Hardcore title on the line. The second fall will be under Cruiserweight rules, with the World Cruiserweight title on the line. Introducing first, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, weighing in at two hundred, three pounds, 'Cadillac' CAAAAALVIIIIIN SZECHSTEIIIIIIN!" Funyon booms.

 

Szechstein takes a few steps down the ramp, puts a microphone to his mouth, and peers out at the crowd.

 

"Tonight, I am being brought to you fine fans by the all new 2007 Kia Rondo! With its seamless fusion of comfort, performance, and style, the amazing Rondo is the future, today!" Calvin exclaims.

 

"See what I'm talking about? If he gets his hands on some gold, that kind of crap will only increase," King mutters.

 

With no more product endorsements for the time being, Calvin continues down the ramp and slips under the bottom rope. 'Cadillac' rises just as "Over My Head (Cable Car)" cuts off and the lights begin flashing. Redman's "Let's Get Dirty" starts up, and out walk Melissa Fasaki and Wildchild.

 

"Introducing next, being accompanied by Melissa Fasaki. From Morgan's Bluff, Andros, in the Commonwealth of the Bahamas, he is one half of the World Tag Team champions and World Cruiserweight champion! Weighing two hundred, fourteen pounds, the Bahama Bomber, WWWIIIIIILDCHHIIIIIILD!" Funyon shouts.

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

WC takes the lead, and both belts glint off his shoulders as he walks. The Tumbler passes the Cruiser title to referee Yahoo Serious, while giving the Tag strap to Melissa, who heads to the timekeeper's table. Wildchild spins his shin guards around and hops onto the apron before flipping inside the ring. Calvin dashes forward, nailing the Human Hurricane with the microphone, knocking the Bahaman into the ropes and ripping feedback throughout the arena.

 

JABOT!

 

Boooo!

 

"Szechstein jumped him! Calvin just nailed Wildchild from behind with that microphone, and this match hasn't even started yet," Mak says.

 

"And? It's going to be under Hardcore rules when it does begin, so there's no real illegal activity. Besides, it's just a small measure of revenge for that beating Wildchild gave Calvin a few weeks ago," King says.

 

"CALVIN SZECHSTEIN!" Calvin screams.

 

'Cadillac' charges at the Human Hurricane, but WC ducks under the lariat. Szechstein whips around, only to get cracked with a gamengiri.

 

JITNEY!

 

Calvin stumbles backwards, but the fighting stops as the lights go out completely. The sound of chanting voices filter down from the stage, backed with the thump of marching feet.

 

Doom!

 

Doom!

 

Doom!

 

Doom!

 

Doom!

 

The lights snap back on to reveal twenty cloaked druids surrounding the ring and trailing up the sides of the ramp. Boots Randolph's "Yakety Sax" blares over the speakers, and the Doomtopian duo of Jimmy the Doom and Lois the Unethical step onto the stage.

 

"And the final opponent, being accompanied by Lois the Unethical. From Doomopolis, Doomtopia, he weighs two hundred, thirty pounds and is the current and longest reigning Hardcore champion! The Straight-Bread Sensation, JJJIIIIMMMMYYYY THE DOOOOOM!" Funyon roars.

 

Yeaaah!

 

Jimmy heads down the ramp, a pair of tap shoes, laces tied together, draped across his neck, while Lois, on belt carrying duty as always, follows behind him. The Panic Ogre hands the Hardcore title up to Yahoo as Jimmy climbs the ring steps. Serious raises up first the Hardcore, then the Cruiserweight belt, reminding the forgetful fans of the order for the match. The referee then passes the belts off to Funyon, and with Doom inside the ring, he calls for the bell.

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

Lois scurries to the timekeeper's table as Doom takes hold of his shoes and begins twirling them.

 

"I knew, of course, that Jimmy was trained in some form of martial arts, but I was unaware that his discipline included nunchuks," Mak says.

 

"Well, that's just poor research on your part, Francis. I mean, it's common knowledge that all martial arts training involves shoe nunchuks," King says. "In fact, black belts are expected to be proficient in chainsaw nunchuks."

 

The Straight-Breader advances on Wildchild, leaving the Tumbler open to a low leg tackle from Szechstein. Calvin tries to slide up and get a full mount, but WC scuttles backwards and escapes. 'Cadillac' sits up and gets nailed with a left shoe to the back of the skull.

 

JOCOSITY!

 

Wildchild pops to his feet and knocks Calvin on his back with a dropkick. The five-time tag champ kips up and just manages to duck the right tap shoe. Wildchild straightens up and laces a hook kick into Jimmy's head. Doom swings his shoe-chuks, but Wildchild bats the weapon away and plants his foot in the Hardcore champ's gut.

 

"Shuffling sidekick from Wildchild, and I might have to take back my earlier statement about Doom retaining his title. Wildchild had an impressive Hardcore run that went into triple digits, and if he can stick and move like he is right now, it should be a cakewalk to win both falls," Mak says.

 

"That's a pretty big if, Mak. Doom or Calvin are bound to get lucky and connect with something substantial on Wildchild," King says.

 

WC rushes forward and gets smacked with a shotei to the chin. Jimmy rears back and snaps down with a headbutt, but Wildchild sidesteps. The Hurricane catches Jimmy in an underhook with his left arm, but Doom blocks the hiptoss and nails the Bahaman with another shotei to the face. The Straight-Breader wraps WC up and lands a headbutt to the chest. Calvin rises to his feet and hits the trapped champ with a left hook to the temple. Szechstein pops Wildchild with another hook, this time to the jaw, and follows up with a big uppercut to the stomach. Jimmy shoves Wildchild away and flicks out his shoe-chuks, catching 'Cadillac' on the nose.

 

KAPOK!

 

"That alliance didn't last long. Calvin should know better that in a match of this importance, there are no friends, only enemies," Mak says.

 

"I'd have made the same mistake as Szechstein. I thought Jimmy would want a measure of revenge from when Wildchild beat him to retain his International title several months back," King says. "Then again, that was so long ago Doom probably forgot about it."

 

"You do have a point, though, King. Wildchild is the connection between Jimmy and Calvin, as both men have fallen to the Human Hurricane in the past," Mak says.

 

"That's not the only connection, Francis. I also hate all three of them very deeply," King says.

 

Cal takes a step backwards, but easily shakes off the blow. Szechstein presses forward and snags the left shoe out of the air as it flies towards his head. Jimmy tugs on the right, and 'Cadillac' lets go, leaving the left shoe with no other option but to smack Doom in the head.

 

KIBITZER!

 

The Straight-Bread Sensation ignores the attack and fires a kick into Calvin's ribs. Jimmy lunges out, smacking Szechstein with a shotei to the forehead before whipping Calvin into the ropes. Doom takes a shoe in either hand, stretches the laces to their maximum, and races for the man without a title. Calvin dips under the shoe-based clothesline, but falls to a leg lariat from Wildchild. WC pops up and handsprings towards Jimmy, ultimately yanking him to the mat with a headscissors takedown.

 

"Wildchild using his impressive speed and agility to clean house a bit, but he'll have to do a lot more to keep either of his opponents down for the three count," Mak says.

 

"That's why he needs to get a chair or something. Steel works a lot better than flesh and bone when it comes to rendering someone unconscious," King says.

 

The Tropical Tumbler scrambles to his feet, with Jimmy up soon afterwards. Doom throws a kick for WC's head, but misses completely. With the Hardcore champ off-balance, Wildchild knocks Jimmy down with a dropkick to his plant leg. The Bahaman kips up only to get wrapped in a rear waistlock by Calvin. 'Cadillac' launches WC overhead with a release German suplex, but Wildchild flips backwards and lands on his feet. Rather than attack Calvin from behind, WC sprints to the ropes and springs off the middle one. Szechstein turns around to survey his handiwork, but only sees the Cruiserweight champion hurtling towards him with a forearm smash. Wildchild makes a lateral press and Serious drops to count it.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

T-No!

 

Boooo!

 

"Wildchild barely got a one count on Calvin, even after that nice springboard flying forearm," Mak says.

 

"Too bad the only flying around you do these days involves being stuck between two fat jackasses and getting a pack of peanuts for an eight hour flight. But, hey, look on the bright side, lack of leg room shouldn't really bother you," King says.

 

Wildchild stands up and gets shoe laces wrapped around his neck. Jimmy twists the shoe-chuk and turns around, placing himself back to back with WC. The Doomtopian leans forward, lifting the Bahama Bomber off his feet. Yahoo rushes forward to check on Wildchild's willingness to continue the match, but he's unceremoniously shoved away by Szechstein. Calvin walks forward and nails WC with a haymaker to the gut, then another. Cal lands a jab to the chin, but can't do anything else as Jimmy whips around. Doom lets go of Wildchild and slams his skull into Szechstein's.

 

KISMET!

 

"That was a vicious headbutt from Jimmy the Doom, but he's lost his choke hold on Wildchild," Mak says.

 

"That's because he's stupid, Francis. His height advantage, though, is a great asset. Leverage is very important when it comes to striking," King says.

 

Jimmy pops Calvin with a shotei, then snaps off an elbow. Szechstein quickly backpedals, and simply bails out of the ring as Doom gives chase. 'Cadillac' dives under the ring, leaving Doom and Wildchild to face off. WC gets to his feet rubbing his throat, and slips under a right hook from the Hardcore champion. Wildchild unleashes a trio of lightning-fast jabs, spins out to Doom's side, and hauls Jimmy to the canvas with a drop toe hold. The Human Hurricane races for the ropes, bounces back, and flips over the rising Doomtopian, slamming the Straight-Breader's face into the mat again.

 

"Wildchild is already running full throttle, but he's got to remember to keep something in the tank to defend his Cruiserweight title," Mak says.

 

"That will be tough for him, though. It's in his nature to keep a fast pace, and regardless of how much he really wants to win the Hardcore belt again, he'll be going all out," King says.

 

Wildchild kips up and spots Szechstein emerging from under the ring. The Tag champ motors to the turnbuckles and leaps to the top. Wildchild sprints across the top rope and leaps as he reaches the next set of buckles, twisting his body through the air. Calvin frantically digs under the ring and tosses a trash can up at WC, nailing the Tumbler in mid-flight.

 

KNURL!

 

Booo!

 

Booo!

 

Booo!

 

"What a collision! Wildchild went for an Andros Dive Drop, but Calvin Szechstein put the kibosh on that plan by plucking the Caribbean Cruiser out of the air with a trashcan," Mak says.

 

"That's what I was talking about earlier when I said Calvin or Doom would get lucky with something big," King says. "Wildchild might not be able to recover enough to be a factor in either fall."

 

Jimmy scrambles to his feet and slides outside the ring as 'Cadillac' extracts WC from the dented trashcan. Szechstein pushes Wildchild down in frustration and turns to face the Doomtopian. Jimmy cracks Calvin with a pair of palm strikes before reaching for a Muay Thai clinch. Szechstein slips free just as Doom fires a knee, and 'Cadillac' pops him with an uppercut. Calvin lands a jab, then scoops Doom and plants him with a powerslam. Cal pulls Jimmy off the ground and whips him into the ring steps.

 

LACHRYMAL!

 

Szechstein picks up the trashcan, lifts it above his head, and heads towards the Straight-Bread Sensation. Doom pushes himself up and makes his way towards Calvin. Calvin boots Jimmy in the stomach, and with the taller man hunched over, smashes the can into the back of his head.

 

LACUNAE!

 

Boooo!

 

"Calvin Szechstein is not winning over any fans tonight, but he just might win two titles if he keeps this kind of stuff up," Mak says.

 

"Who cares what these dolts think, Francis? This isn't a popularity contest, it's a battle! Besides, nobody can get cheered while hitting Wildchild with a trashcan," King says.

 

"Toxxic proved that point a few weeks ago, though a trashcan wasn't involved," Mak says.

 

Calvin raises the crumpled can for another blow, but Doom bulls forward, driving his head into Szechstein's gut. Jimmy keeps pushing forward for a few more feet, then steps back and raises his left leg. Doom pauses for brief moment, allowing Calvin to fill his lungs with air, then leaps, sending his right foot into the trashcan, which collides with Cal's face.

 

LAETRILE!

 

Yeeaaaaaah!

 

Jiii-Meee!

 

Jiii-Meee!

 

Jiii-Meee!

 

"Just when I open my mouth, my foot goes flying in it, kind of like how Jimmy's foot flew into Calvin's, with a slight stopover in a trashcan," Mak says.

 

"You're capable of such flexibility? Makes sense, I guess, if you can't feel your legs in searing pain," King says. "And before you go on some rant about that being a metaphor, or whatever, I know what you mean. I just like making fun of your disability whenever possible."

 

The Straight-Breader pulls the trashcan out of Calvin's hands and slams him to the ground with a DDT. Jimmy rolls Szechstein over, then clambers onto the ring apron. Doom leaps off, coming down on 'Cadillac' with a body press, and staying down for the pin.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Tw-No!

 

Boooo!

 

"Calvin kicks out after one following a DDT and splash combination from the Hardcore champion. Jimmy might have better luck if he goes after Wildchild," Mak says.

 

"If he'd been able to actually hit Wildchild earlier in the match, he might be doing that, but Doom has had more success in nailing Szechstein, so maybe he's sticking with what works," King offers.

 

"True, but if Jimmy wants to elevate himself into the upper echelon of the Smarks Wrestling Federation, he's got to be able to change his strategy at the drop of a dime," Mak says.

 

Doom hauls Calvin up and sends him into a druid, then the guardrail with an Irish whip. Jimmy lifts up the ring skirting and starts a quest for additional weaponry. Szechstein clears his head with a few shakes, and runs into Doom, nearly shoving the Hardcore champ completely under the ring. Calvin slaps on a rear waistlock, pulls Jimmy out, and slams him into the mats with a German suplex. 'Cadillac' releases the Doomtopian and stands to find Wildchild doing the same thing. The Tumbler dashes for Szechstein and leaps, knocking Calvin down with a leg lariat. Wildchild kips up, pulls 'Cadillac' off the ground, and pops him with a jab before sprinting to the guard rail. WC springs from a particularly sturdy druid to the top of the barricade and bounds off, taking Calvin down with a flipping dropkick.

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

"Springboard 'Shooting Star' Missile Dropkick from the Cruiserweight champion, and it looks like he's back in this match," Mak says.

 

"Took him long enough. Like I said earlier, that collision between Wildchild and the trashcan is going to take its toll throughout this match," King says.

 

The Bahaman gets to his feet and starts to lift Calvin up, but 'Cadillac' knocks WC backwards with an uppercut. Szechstein rises, plants his head under Wildchild's jaw and drops to the ground.

 

LAGNIAPPE!

 

Calvin scoops the Bomber off his feet and drives his back into the ringpost.

 

LAMASERY!

 

Szechstein shoves WC under the bottom rope and turns his attention on Jimmy the Doom.

 

"And just like that, Wildchild's momentum is cut off at the knees with Willy Wonka's World-Famous Jawbreaker," Mak says.

 

"I'm surprised that Szechstein stopped his assault on Wildchild to focus on Doom. Not only is Wildchild simply weaker than Jimmy, but he's taken more punishment overall," King says.

 

"That's true, King, but you've got to think that Jimmy will be trying desperately to break up any pinfall or submission attempts while his title is on the line. It'll be a lot easier for Calvin if he can get Doom out of the way first, and then go back to Wildchild," Mak points out.

 

Doom charges Cal, but Szechstein ducks under the clothesline attempt. 'Cadillac' spins around and gives chase as the Straight-Breader attempts to put on the brakes. He plants his hands on the back of Jimmy's head and shoves the Hardcore champion's face into the ring steps.

 

LAMBENCY!

 

"Royal Crown Rattler into the steps from Szechstein, and that might buy him some time to work over Wildchild," Mak says.

 

"It might, Francis, but it probably won't. Jimmy the Doom can and has taken a lot worse than that and bounced back with ease," King says.

 

Calvin peels Jimmy off the steps, cracks him with a right hook, and then shoves him to the ground with a pie-face STO. Inside the ring, Wildchild grabs the ropes and pulls himself off the canvas. WC sprints towards the opposite set of ropes, bounces off, and hurtles towards an unaware Szechstein. 'Cadillac' turns to face the ring just in time to see the Tropical Tumbler dive between the top and middle ropes. The double champion wraps Cal in a front facelock and spins him to the ground with a DDT.

 

LAMELLA!

 

Yeeeaaaaaah!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

"Suicide dive tornado DDT from Wildchild, and his relegation to to being out of this match was short-lived," Mak says.

 

"He may not be the toughest man involved in this contest, but it's hard as hell to keep him down," King adds.

 

"That's rather uncharacteristic of you, King. Did you actually just pay Wildchild a compliment?" Mak asks.

 

"If I've got to pick one of these guys, which I don't think I'm obligated to do, I'll take the devil I've known for the longest," King says. "Besides, respecting a person's abilities and genuinely liking that person are completely different."

 

Wildchild gets to his feet, and behind him, so does Jimmy the Doom. The Hardcore champ walks up to the Cruiserweight champ and snares him in an inverted facelock. Doom hooks WC's right leg and lifts, but the Bahama Bomber slips free and slings Jimmy to the ground.

 

"Wildchild with a nice headscissor takedown to counter the Doom Driver, and in a match with two very tough men, he's the only one standing," Mak says.

 

"Calvin and Jimmy won't stay down for long, though. We might be in for a long night if Wildchild aims to get both belts," King says.

 

Wildchild lifts Jimmy up, cracks him with a barrage of punches, and then hoists Doom into a vertical suplex. WC spins around before falling backwards. The Human Hurricane kips up and springs onto the ring apron. Wildchild takes hold of the top rope, vaults on top of it and back flips off, landing on his feet. WC's knees buckle slightly, but he manages to stick the landing. The Tumbler whips around and jumps, catching the rising Doomtopian flush on the face with a gamengiri.

 

LAPPET!

 

"I thought Wildchild might have lost it all when Jimmy began rolling out of the way during that moonsault, but the Human Hurricane managed to adjust and nail Doom with a nice gamengiri," Mak says.

 

"Yeah, if Wildchild had landed on his face, this first fall would definitely be over," King says.

 

Jimmy stumbles backwards, leaving Wildchild space to build up speed and rush the Hardcore champion. Doom scoops WC off his feet, flips him upside down, and the Caribbean Cruiser takes over, dragging Jimmy to the floor with a headscissor takedown. Wildchild keeps the headscissors applied and tightens his hold on the Straight-Bread Sensation's neck, prompting ref Serious to check on Doom.

 

"Wildchild with another headscissor counter, and this time, he's locked on a choke hold. He isn't known for his great technical abilities, but with the leg strength he's got, it might not matter," Mak says.

 

"Of course, you're desperate for any kind of leg strength, so you're obviously biased. However, by using those shin guards, Wildchild can add some extra pressure, and he might get lucky and submit the Doomtopian," King says.

 

Yahoo asks Jimmy if he'd like to submit, but the Straight-Breader ignores the failed actor and tries to pry Wildchild's legs apart. WC's legs begin to spread, but the Bomber quickly clamps down and crosses his ankles. Serious checks on Doom again, but is ignored once more as Calvin Szechstein pulls himself off the ground. 'Cadillac' shakes his head to clear the cobwebs and walks over to the crumpled trashcan. Cal hoists the battered hunk of metal, takes a running start, and hurls it towards the trio in front of him.

 

LEGERDEMAIN!

 

Boooooo!

 

Cal-vin sucks!

 

Cal-vin sucks!

 

Cal-vin sucks!

 

Cal-vin sucks!

 

"Well, that's a sure fire way to break up a submission attempt," Mak says.

 

"I guess Calvin wants to get the Hardcore title. I would have guessed he'd be after the Cruiserweight belt. He could maybe work in a Slim Fast deal," King says.

 

"I think Szechstein is after both pieces of gold on the line tonight, King, but neither Jimmy the Doom nor Wildchild are going to give up their titles without a fight," Mak says.

 

Jimmy rolls away from Wildchild, crawls to the ring steps, and pulls himself off the ground. Calvin heads towards the Straight-Breader, but gets hit with a shotei before getting too close. Doom blasts Szechstein with another palm thrust before booting him in the gut. Jimmy thrusts Cal into a standing headscissors, lifts him, and then drops to the floor. The Doomtopian rises to his feet, walks over, and snags the trashcan. Jimmy sets it upright and heads back to 'Cadillac'.

 

"It looks like Jimmy the Doom is finally going to make use of that trashcan, and we can only speculate as to what the Hardcore champion is going to do with it," Mak says.

 

"My guess is fill it with sardines and push Calvin head-first into it. I'd probably submit to that," King says.

 

"Since this is Australia, it'd probably be Vegemite," Mak points out.

 

"Or dead infants recovered from packs of dingoes," King adds.

 

"That's gross," Mak says.

 

"Well, it was either that or Foster's, and that stuff is even worse," King says.

 

The Hardcore champ lifts Cal up and snaps off a palm strike. Jimmy laces another shotei into Calvin's face before wrapping Szechstein up in a two-handed choke hold. Doom picks Calvin off his feet and shoves him into the ring post.

 

LEGUMINOUS!

 

With 'Cadillac' still hanging in the air, Jimmy walks him over to the trashcan. The Straight-Breader deposits Szechstein ass-first into the can, folding him in half. Szechstein struggles to extract himself, but a jab to the throat quells any escape attempt. Doom smacks Calvin with a right cross, then follows with a roundhouse to the face. Jimmy backs away from the dazed Szechstein for a moment before racing towards him. Doom leaps into the air and extends his left foot, planting it firmly in Calvin's face, knocking him and the trashcan over.

 

LENITIVE!

 

Yeeaaaah!

 

Jiii-Meee!

 

Jiii-Meee!

 

Jiii-Meee!

 

"Looks like we were both wrong, King. Taking a page out of a school bully's playbook, Doom stuffed Calvin into that trashcan with a modified Jimmy Bomb. Then he added injury to insult with a Hand of Doom and a flying snap kick," Mak says.

 

"You know, with the way Szechstein is stuck in that trashcan, he might not be able to get any leverage to kick out. Jimmy the Doom should make a cover, especially while Wildchild is still feeling the effects of getting hit with the aforementioned can," King says.

 

Doom jogs back towards Calvin, rolls him onto his back, and the Straight-Breader hooks the bottom of the trashcan, pressing Cal's shoulders to the mat. Yahoo Serious stumbles over and counts the fall.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three!

 

Serious pops up and signals for the bell.

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

Yeeeaaaaaah!

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the first fall and still Hardcore champion, the Straight-Bread Sensation, Jimmy the Doom!" Funyon shouts.

 

"Jimmy keeps his title, and maybe Wildchild will be just as lucky as the Doomtopian," Mak says.

 

"He's got to get up first," King points out.

 

"Well, there's a brief break while all hardcore-based elements are removed and the wrestlers get a small chance to recover. Apparently it's not fair to say, slam a guy's head onto concrete six times and pin him twice to win both belts in under ten seconds," Mak says.

 

"That's so fucking lame. This is something Peters decided, isn't it? It's sad that the last vestiges of that moron still linger, despite all the efforts of Tom Flesher," King says.

 

The referee lifts Jimmy's hand, then heads off to revive Wildchild, while the Doomtopian clambers into the ring, ready to start the second fall. Yahoo helps WC up, and Melissa Fasaki runs over to take the Tumbler's shin guards. Wildchild takes his head for an Etch-A-Sketch, and shakes it clear before vaulting into the ring. Doom and the Bahama Bomber eye each other, but make no movement as Serious tries to pull Szechstein out of the can. After a minute of struggling, the ref yanks 'Cadillac' from his aluminum prison and helps him to enter the ring. With all three combatants relatively conscious, and no illegal objects in the squared circle, Yahoo Serious calls for the bell.

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

"Now we get to see who's got anything left after a grueling Hardcore title match," Mak says.

 

"I give that advantage to Jimmy the Doom, but he's never really been in a match under Cruiserweight rules. They're like second nature to Wildchild, but he's taken a lot of punishment so far. Of course, Calvin took the actual fall, so that's who I'd target," King says.

 

Jimmy heads straight for Szechstein, as does Wildchild. Calvin backs up, trying to keep both men in his field of vision, and finds himself up against the ropes. Rather than risk an attack, 'Cadillac' slides under the bottom rope.

 

Boooo!

 

Cal-vin sucks!

 

Cal-vin sucks!

 

Cal-vin sucks!

 

The Hardcore champion glares at Cal for a moment before turning his attention on Wildchild. The Bahama Bomber cracks Jimmy with a barrage of rapid jabs, then whips him to the adjacent set of ropes. WC then sprints for the ropes opposite Szechstein as Serious begins counting out 'Cadillac'.

 

One!

 

Doom and Wildchild bounce off their respective set of cables as Cal makes his way around the ring.

 

Two!

 

The Tag champ quickly diverts and heads for Calvin while Jimmy grabs onto the ropes to keep himself from ricocheting back.

 

Three!

 

The Straight-Bread Sensation slides out of the ring and follows after Calvin.

 

Four!

 

Wildchild reaches the ropes and dives between the middle and bottom strands, knocking Szechstein to the floor.

 

LEONINE!

 

Yeeeaaaaaah!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

"Suicide dive leg lariat from Wildchild, and that's bound to take some starch out of Calvin Szechstein," Mak says.

 

"And he did it with plenty of time to recover and get back in the ring. Maybe," King says.

 

With three bodies to contend with, Yahoo angrily starts over.

 

One!

 

Jimmy reaches the two downed men and races to them.

 

Two!

 

Wildchild climbs to his feet and sprints towards the rushing Doomtopian.

 

Three!

 

The Tumbler leaps in the air, plants both feet in Jimmy's chest, grabs the back of his head, and snaps Doom over and onto Calvin.

 

"Freefall-assisted senton by the Hardcore champ, and Wildchild wounded two birds with one stone right there," Mak says.

 

"More like just winged Doom," King says.

 

Four!

 

Wildchild lifts Jimmy off the mat, snaps off a jab, then whips Doom into the side of the ring. The Human Hurricane dashes after the Straight-Breader and vaults to the apron. WC spins around and leaps off, snaring Jimmy and taking him down with a sunset flip.

 

"Wildchild is really going after Jimmy the Doom's torso. I guess the Caribbean Cruiser thinks the Bird Dropping will work better than the Wild Ride," Mak says.

 

"Considering it would take about an hour of Wildchild constantly pummeling Jimmy with punches to the head to wear him down, I think it's a sound strategy," King says.

 

Five!

 

Wildchild releases Jimmy from the waistlock and clambers to his feet. WC picks the Hardcore champ off the mat and kicks him in the stomach. The Tumbler lands another kick before turning around and heading for the ring. Wildchild leaps to the apron and back flips, crashing down with his legs across Doom's neck.

 

LEPTON!

 

YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAH!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

Six!

 

"That souped up version of the Caribbean Cutter could get Wildchild the victory! He's just got to get Doom inside the ring so the pinfall will count," Mak says.

 

"Now, I try not to pay attention to many of Wildchild's matches since he annoys me, but I don't recall ever seeing him do that before, and man, was it impressive," King says.

 

The Bahama Bomber pulls Doom to his feet once more and bends him double as Szechstein gets to his feet. Wildchild stands in front of the Straight-Bread Sensation and hooks his arms, while Calvin gets his bearings. WC tries to twist under Jimmy, but the Hardcore champ fights him off. No longer groggy, Cal spots Doom's predicament and springs into action. First, though, to find a microphone.

 

"CALVIN SZECHSTEIN!" Calvin screams at the nearby camera's on-board mic.

 

Seven!

 

Cal races towards Wildchild as the Human Hurricane repositions Doom. 'Cadillac' sticks out his left arm and clubs WC in the back of the head, sending him into the ring steps.

 

LEXICOGRAPHER!

 

LICENTIATE!

 

BOOOOO!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

Eight!

 

"Szechstein just saved Jimmy the Doom with that Big Lariat, but I think he was more concerned about harming Wildchild, who almost had the Wild Ride, or perhaps Wild-Driver all ready to go," Mak says.

 

"Calvin could very well take this match right now with Wildchild nearly out and Jimmy pretty woozy," King says.

 

Szechstein turns around, right into a hand to the throat. Sputtering, Cal is easily snared in a waistlock and pitched over Jimmy's head.

 

Yeeeaaaaah!

 

"Railgun suplex from Jimmy the Doom, and maybe he wasn't all that woozy," Mak says.

 

"That Hand of Doom bought him a little time to recover, and with Jimmy, he doesn't need much," King says.

 

Nine!

 

The Straight-Breader makes his way towards Calvin and lifts the Wisconsinite to his feet. Doom lays into Cal with a slew of palm strikes, then whips Szechstein into the ring post.

 

LIGNITE!

 

Ten!

 

Jimmy races for Cal and leaps, twisting through the air. Szechstein flops onto the apron just as Doom slams into the post, delivering a stiff elbow to the steel.

 

LIMINAL!

 

"Doom misses big with that corkscrew elbow, and that will definitely affect him later in the match," Mak says.

 

"Both his arm and head smacked into the ring post pretty hard, but I don't know if it was hard enough to slow down Jimmy," King says.

 

Eleven!

 

Szechstein pulls himself to a standing position, then leaps off the apron as Jimmy staggers back from the post. 'Cadillac' puts both hands on the back of Doom's head and slams the Hardcore champ face-first into the ground.

 

LIMN!

 

Booooo!

 

Cal-vin sucks!

 

Cal-vin sucks!

 

Cal-vin sucks!

 

"Jimmy the Doom gets another Royal Crown Rattler, this time with Calvin Szechstein coming off the apron," Mak says.

 

"Calvin should have pulled the mats up first," King says.

 

"Maybe he thought about it, but remembered what happened to Landon Maddix last week," Mak points out.

 

"No, that only happened to Landon because he is Landon. Bad things should and usually do happen to him and only him," King says.

 

Twelve!

 

Wildchild drags himself up the ring steps and on the ring apron. WC grabs the ropes and gets to his feet while Calvin reaches down and pulls Jimmy off the floor.

 

Thirteen!

 

The Tag champion climbs the turnbuckles and stands on the top rope as Szechstein nails Jimmy with a big haymaker, knocking the Straight-Breader to the crowd barrier.

 

Fourteen!

 

Wildchild takes off across the rope, leaps towards 'Cadillac' and pulls himself into a Bahaman ball, smashing Calvin in the back.

 

LIMNOLOGY!

 

Yyyeeeeaaaaah!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

"Andros Dive Pinball from Wildchild, and I hope he can get back inside the ring because it would be a shame for this great match to end on a count-out," Mak says.

 

"Maybe that's what Wildchild is going for, Francis. It sure worked for Jay Hawke," King says.

 

Fifteen!

 

Wildchild picks himself up and does the same for Szechstein. WC grabs Cal by the seat of his trunks and a handful of hair and pitches the pitch man under the bottom rope. The Caribbean Cruiser makes his way to Jimmy, but the Straight-Breader cracks him with a shotei.

 

Sixteen!

 

Wildchild stumbles backwards, and Doom charges. Wildchild just manages to do his best matador impression by sidestepping Jimmy, and then slides the Doomtopian inside the ring.

 

Seventeen!

 

The Human Hurricane sprints to the ring and vaults to the apron. WC grabs the top rope, but waits for Jimmy to stand. Doom clambers to his feet, and Wildchild dives between the top and middle ropes, planting both feet in Jimmy's gut, doubling the Hardcore champ over and also stopping the count. Wildchild pulls himself back outside the ring and up on the top rope. WC flings himself at Jimmy, snaring the Straight-Bread Sensation in a front facelock and swinging Doom around and down with a DDT.

 

LIMPIDITY!

 

Yeeeaaaaaah!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

"Presumed Guilty DDT from Wildchild, and he's taken firm control of this fall," Mak says.

 

"How exactly does the weakest person, not just in this match, but practically the enitre federation, clean house like this?" King asks.

 

"Well, as any fan of SEC football would lead you to believe, speed kills. Speaking of the Southeastern Conference, Wildchild could easily make linebacker for a number of teams, but he's dangerously close to going over their two hundred, twenty pound weight limit," Mak says.

 

"You've just lost thousands, if not millions of international viewers, Francis. Good job," King says.

 

Wildchild rolls Jimmy on his back, hooks Doom's long legs, and the ref slides to count the pin.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calvin pushes himself to his knees and spots the pinfall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Szechstein scurries towards Doom and Wildchild.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thr-No!

 

"Doom just gets a shoulder up!" Mak shouts.

 

"Jimmy doesn't look like he's got much left, but I bet it'll be tough to break that last little bit of energy," King says.

 

Calvin flies towards Jimmy as Wildchild argues the count and smashes Doom with a double axhandle. WC lifts Szechstein off the mat, and Calvin takes hold of Jimmy, pulling Doom up as well. Cal yanks his hand from WC's grasp and whips the groggy Doomtopian to the ropes. Szechstein spins back to the Tropical Tumbler, cracking him with a left hook. 'Cadillac' takes hold of Wildchild's wrist and sends him to the corner. Wildchild vaults to the top turnbuckle and pauses, letting the situation below unfold on its own. Jimmy bounces back to Calvin, and Szechstein ducks his head, flipping Doom over with a back drop. Instinctively, Wildchild flies off the turnbuckle, nailing the Hardcore champ with a forearm to the face.

 

LISLE!

 

YYEEEAAAAH!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

"Did Wildchild and Calvin Szechstein just connect with the Silver Bullet on Jimmy the Doom?" Mak asks.

 

"It looks like it," King says.

 

The Tag champ falls atop Doom and makes a lateral press.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calvin whips around and dashes for Wildchild.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Szechstein dives with arms outstretched.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three-No!

 

BOOOOOO!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

"This Sydney crowd is absolutely deafening, and they have every right to be upset with Calvin Szechstein. Wildchild had this match won after what I presume was an accidental Silver Bullet, but Szechstein just managed to break up the pin," Mak says.

 

"What do you mean, they have every right to boo? This is a three-way match, Francis, for a title no less. You don't just concede the match to someone else," King says.

 

Calvin gets to his feet, with a steaming mad Wildchild right on his heels. Szechstein swings and pops WC with a left hook, then lands an uppercut. Cal ducks behind Wildchild and plants the Bahaman with a backdrop suplex. Calvin gets up, pulls WC off the mat, and buries a knee in the Tag champ's gut. 'Cadillac' smashes another knee into Wildchild's stomach, then, with the Tropical Tumbler hunched over and winded, Cal pitches him headlong out of the ring in a totally legal way.

 

LISSOM!

 

BOOOOOO!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

"It looks like Calvin Szechstein is taking care of business, and with Wildchild currently disposed of, he might win the Cruiserweight title right now," Mak says.

 

"He was lucky to guide Wildchild under the top rope, otherwise he would have wasted all of the effort he's put into this match," King says.

 

One!

 

Calvin yanks Jimmy up by the hair and smacks him with a jab. Cal pops Doom with another jab, then a hook, knocking the Straight-Bread Sensation back a step.

 

Two!

 

Jimmy fires off a shotei, but the Doomtopian misses his mark. Calvin weaves his way in and nails Jimmy with a cross to the ribs, then an uppercut to the jaw.

 

Three!

 

Wildchild pushes himself off the mat, but gets no further, staying on all fours. Szechstein raps Doom with another jab, but the Hardcore champ replies with one of his own.

 

"I would have thought that Calvin would be going for something a little bigger than just some punches, especially with the condition Jimmy was in moments ago," Mak says.

 

"Well, it's hard when you know jack shit about wrestling, so crappy brawling has to suffice for him," King says.

 

Four!

 

Jimmy fires off a shotei, then comes down with a headbutt on Calvin, nearly dropping Szechstein to one knee. Outside the ring, Wildchild rocks from both knees to a standing position.

 

Five!

 

Szechstein rises up, placing the top of his skull under Jimmy's chin and wrapping his arms around Doom's head. Cal sits out, jarring the Straight-Breader.

 

LORGNETTE!

 

"Willy Wonka's World-Famous Jawbreaker, and that stopped Doom's comeback pretty abruptly," Mak says.

 

"Calvin used it to great effect on Wildchild during the Hardcore fall, and it looks like it'll work just as well against Jimmy now for the Cruiserweight title," King says.

 

Six!

 

'Cadillac' grabs Doom by the wrist and launches the Straight-Bread Sensation into the ropes. Cal searches desperately for a microphone as Jimmy bounces back, but upon finding none, Szechstein simply cups his hands around his mouth and looks at the nearest row of fans.

 

"CALVIN SZECHSTEIN!" Cal bellows.

 

FUCKING SUCKS!

 

"Great timing by the fans right there," Mak says.

 

"And for once, I agree with something those unwashed masses think. Szechstein needs to go back to his Wilford Brimley organization and never come back," King says.

 

"Wilford Brimley...oh, toasted oats," Mak says.

 

Seven!

 

Calvin turns around, rushes to meet Jimmy, and sticks out his right arm, knocking Doom off his feet.

 

LUCUBRATION!

 

BOOO!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

"Big Lariat from Szechstein, and he might be able to put this away. Jimmy looks to be out, and Wildchild is still on the outside," Mak says.

 

"If Calvin hits that top rope headbutt, it should be in the bag," King says.

 

Eight!

 

Calvin drags the downed Straight-Breader towards the nearby corner and puts Jimmy in position. Szechstein steps over Doom and makes his way up the buckles as Wildchild scrambles up the apron and pops Calvin in the face. WC nails Cal with another punch, then grabs the top rope and cracks 'Cadillac' with a gamengiri while vaulting to the top buckle.

 

LUFF!

 

YYYEEEEAAAAAH!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

DUB-CEE!

 

"Calvin might have been going for the Moonsault, Presented by Skittles: Taste the Rainbow, but instead got a taste of Wildchild's leg off that gamengiri," Mak says.

 

"Szechstein could be in trouble, well, he is in trouble regardless, but could be in worse trouble if Wildchild goes for the Bahaman Destroyer. He doesn't pull it out often, and in fact, used it last week to win the Tag titles, but it's almost always match winning," King says.

 

"Since he did use it rather recently, he might actually feel more confident in using it, as he won't be rusty with the timing," Mak points out.

 

"And that definitely spells bad news for Szechstein," King says.

 

Nine!

 

Before Wildchild can even think of snaring Calvin for the sunset flip piledriver, Cal slips off the middle buckle and to the mat. WC bends down, cracks 'Cadillac' with a kick to keep him in place, then leaps, flipping over Szechstein. The Tumbler hauls Calvin to the canvas and Yahoo bounds of Jimmy to count the pin.

 

Yeeeaaaah!

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thre-No!

 

BOOOOO!

 

That was three!

 

That was three!

 

That was three!

 

"Szechstein got a shoulder up without a moment to spare," Mak says.

 

"He was lucky that he dropped off the second turnbuckle, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to kick out," King says.

 

Wildchild pushes Calvin away and gets to his feet. WC lifts Cal off the mat, lays into him with two quick jabs, and then walks Szechstein towards the middle of the ring. Wildchild attempts an Irish whip, but 'Cadillac' reverses it. The Tropical Tumbler hurtles back to Calvin, who scoops WC up and flips him upside down. Wildchild tries to continue flipping, but Calvin keeps tight hold of the Tag champ. Cal drops to his knees, spiking Wildchild's head into the canvas.

 

LYONNAISE!

 

BOOOOO!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

CAL-VIN SUCKS!

 

"Calvin Szechstein just hit the Pause that Refreshes on Wildchild! I think we've got a new champion, King," Mak says.

 

"I was seconds away from admonishing Calvin for using a tilt-a-whirl move against Wildchild since Jimmy paid for such a mistake earlier by way of a headscissor takedown, but this was a risk that looks like it will pay off a very big reward," King says.

 

Calvin doesn't bother to change from the north-south position and makes a cover.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jimmy rolls over and pushes himself up to one knee.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doom stands straight up and stumbles towards Calvin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No!

 

MACERATE!

 

YYYEEEEAAAAAAAH!

 

JIII-MEEE!

 

JIII-MEEE!

 

JIII-MEEE!

 

JIII-MEEE!

 

JIII-MEEE!

 

"Doom breaks up the pin! Jimmy the Doom just managed to keep the Cruiserweight title out of Calvin Szechstein's grasp with that vicious roundhouse kick to the head," Mak says.

 

"I think those fans want to make Jimmy the new King of Australia after that," King says.

 

"Australia isn't a monarchy, King," Mak says.

 

"Like I care enough about Down Under England to know how they play pretend government," King says.

 

Jimmy looms over the downed Szechstein, trying to fully regain his bearings. Doom reaches down, picks Cal off the mat, and snakes out a Hand of Doom. The Hardcore champ takes hold of Calvin's wrist and launches his sputtering opponent into the corner.

 

MAHOUT!

 

The Straight-Breader races after Szechstein and leaps, driving his right foot deep in Cal's gut.

 

MAJOLICA!

 

Yeeaaah!

 

Jii-Mee!

 

Jii-Mee!

 

Jii-Mee!

 

"Doom has taken control of this match, and it looks like he might leave From the Fire with two belts," Mak says.

 

"I wonder what he has planned for Szechstein. He usually targets the chest with that front kick, and with how short Calvin is, I was expecting Jimmy to take his head off, but Doom went low," King says.

 

"Well, with that and the Hand of Doom earlier should give Jimmy plenty of time to orchestrate whatever he's going to do. It is hard to fight back when you can't breathe, after all," Mak says.

 

Calvin slumps down in the corner, and after a shotei, Jimmy starts climbing the turnbuckles. Doom ascends to the very top, grabs 'Cadillac' by the hair, and pushes off, driving Szechstein into the mat.

 

MALEDICTION!

 

YYYEEEAAAH!

 

JIII-MEEE!

 

JIII-MEEE!

 

JIII-MEEE!

 

"Top rope Doom Factor! That's what he was after, and Jimmy absolutely nailed Calvin with it," Mak says.

 

"There is no way that Szechstein survives this on his own, and since Wildchild hasn't been very active since taking the Pause that Refreshes, I think we're going to have a double champion," King says.

 

Doom rolls Cal onto his back, reaches out and hooks both legs while throwing his own across Szechstein's shoulders.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wildchild slowly sits up, falls forward, then finally pushes himself up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Bahama Bomber staggers for the blurry trio in front of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

Yeeaaa-boooo!

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this fall and new Cruiserweight champion, the Straight-Bread Sensation, JJJJIIIIIMMMMYYYY THE DOOOOOOOM!" Funyon roars.

 

"Sounds like the fans are torn over this result, King. Everybody loves Wildchild, but Jimmy the Doom has never really done anything wrong," Mak says.

 

"That's why the fans are idiots, they can't even decide to be happy or mad. I do think Wildchild got a bit of a raw deal here, as he wasn't pinned in either fall," King says.

 

"Well, maybe Tom will take note of that and give Wildchild a chance to win back his Cruiserweight title," Mak says.

 

Lois gathers up both titles and enters the ring as Yahoo Serious raises Jimmy's hand a second time. "Yakety Sax" blares over the speakers while the two Doomtopians celebrate. Wildchild storms past the couple and kicks at the ropes in frustration. Doom extends an arm and pulls WC back. The Straight-Breader sticks out his hand and the Tropical Tumbler gives it a hearty shake, both men acknowledging the other's skill.

 

YYYEEEAAAAH!

 

Jii-Mee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

Jii-Mee!

 

Dub-Cee!

 

"Looks like the fans approve of both men," Mak says.

 

"They're still dumb as hell," King says.

 

Jimmy and Lois exit the ring and head up the ramp, Wildchild and Melissa Fasaki not far behind. Ref Serious cautiously revives Szechstein and assits 'Cadillac' to the back.

 

"That was one hell of a match, and I've got to wonder how amazing the other contests are going to be. We've got Michael Stephens taking on Danny Williams in a grudge match, Alan Clark going against Wildchild's tag partner, Johnny Dangerous, for Clark's International belt, and of course, the ladder match, Gabriel Drake and Landon Maddix for the World title," Mak says.

 

"Toxxic, who gives a shit since Tom was probably drunk, and Drake," King says.

 

"Of course, we can't forget about Mirror Max versus Craig McLennan," Mak says.

 

"I already had until you brought it up, Francis," King says.

 

"Not even going to make a 'hopefully the roof collapses' type of prediction?" Mak asks.

 

"There's no effort going into that match, so I'm not going to expend any in mocking it," King says.

 

As Mak and King discuss the show, a video showing the various accomplishments and encounters of Danny Williams and Michael Stephens plays on the SmarkTron.

[Ace309 0]

“Folks, one week ago we saw, well, something – to say the least – in the form of Mirror Max…” the Franchise narrates as the SmarkTron shows video of the masked wrestler’s entrance and subsequent defeat of Craig McLennan. “Well Tom Flesher has been listening to Craig McLennan complain about what happened, and was granted a rematch here tonight.”

 

“Yeah, and with this match being so close to Alan Clark’s precious International Championship match…well, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” adds the Suicide King as the scene cuts to the hard camera, showing Craig McLennan already in the ring and awaiting his opponent.

 

“It means Craig and Tom, and maybe even you King, know that something very fishy is going on underneath that mask, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” And that wait is not long, as Funyon’s voice suddenly booms out over the crowd.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL~! Introducing first, from Duncan, British Columbia, Canada….weighing in at two hundred five pounds…. CRAIG MCLENNAN!!!” Craig throws his arms up, to a chorus of mumbling boos, and then turns his attention toward the curtain.

 

“And his opponent….” Funyon continues as the Cure’s “Burn” explodes from the PA, “making his way to the ring….from Hollywood, California and being accompanied by Mortimer… he is MIRROR MAAAAX!”

 

“Wait, where’s Max?” questions the King as a figure – a single figure – does indeed step from behind the curtain. A figure quite a bit larger from the one that was out on Storm the week prior.

 

“I think that is Max, King!” and as a spotlight strikes Max, one can see the shiny silver of his mask glowing in the darkness. “It was said earlier this week that Mirror Max is not about what is behind the mask, and I think now we are learning exactly what that means!” but even without Mortimer by his side, Max looks ready to take on all comers, putting his hands up and motioning for Craig to meet him half way.

 

It’s too bad Craig is once again losing his mind and yelling toward the referee about this sudden predicament.

 

“Anythony Michael Hall doesn’t look like he knows what to do here, but nonetheless for tonight that man is Mirror Max, and he’s getting in the ring!” exclaims the Franchise as Max climbs the stairs and between the ropes, only for Craig to throw out a knee and catch the larger wrestler in the chest.

 

Ding Ding Ding!

 

“Same guy or not – definitely not – Craig McLennan isn’t about to let someone just walk all over him” but as Craig throws Max into the ropes, he suddenly is reminded of Newton’s laws, as Max comes flying back toward him like a freight train – knocking him down with a VICIOUS clothesline!

 

“Holy shit! He almost took his head off!” yells the King, once again a little shocked at the lack of censorship. “I wish I knew what the hell was going on here!”

 

“You aren’t the only one. I’m sure Craig would love to know too!” Craig is indeed in a bit of shock as he stands back up, only to once again get, almost, thrown right back down to the canvas. “Not exactly the most technical battle we’ve ever seen.”

 

“It doesn’t have to be pretty if it gets the job done.”

 

“Let him up!” Hall can be heard and Max backs away, giving Craig a bit of breathing room until the fiery upstart can get to his feet. Once he is, and before Max can return to his clubbing, Craig rushes toward the ropes and springs off, leaping through the air and spinning like a dervish…

 

 

…RIGHT INTO MAX’S GRASP!

 

“Craig just got caught!”

 

 

WHAAAAM!!

 

“Good lord!” both announcers yell out reasonably similar calls as Craig is almost thrown into the air and caught around the chest before being drilled down into the canvas like a ragdoll! “What a STO that was! Craig’s back might be broken!” Hall slides into position as Max simply throws his body on top of Craig…

 

One.

 

Two.

 

Three.

 

Ding Ding Ding!

 

“And Max defeats Craig McLennan once again, and Craig looks to be out!” The Franchise looks to be in a bit of shock as the replays of the “match” are shown, with Craig McLennan being slammed down into the canvas harder than he ever thought he was going to on this night, leaving himself in the loser’s column once again.

 

“Here is your winner by PINFALL…MIRROR MAX!” yells Funyon as the sounds of the Cure play again and Max rolls out to the floor, giving little attention to the crowd as he heads toward the curtain.

 

“Look!” King yells as a second figure pops out from behind the curtain, a smaller figure wearing a black suit and a gold mask. “Mortimer?”

 

“Looks like it, King!” Mak responds as Mortimer holds Max’s hand in the air in victory and the duo quickly escapes backstage, not lingering long enough to leave much of a lasting expression except to Craig McLennan in the ring, who has finally sat up, shaking his head in disbelief about what has just happened. “Next up, folks, is Michael Stephens taking on Danny Williams, two of the biggest names in SWF history squaring off! Some call it the big return of Williams here tonight, but the Suicide King might just say it is the return of Toxxic as well!”

 

“You aren’t kidding, Francis! I hope Danny shows that punk what his name “Deathwish” is really about in this ring here tonight!”

 

“It’s Stephens and Williams with Zyon and the Insane Luchador still battling somewhere in the building, what could happen next?!”

[Ace309 0]

Iron Man slot #4

[Ace309 0]

"Fans, coming next we have a truly historic match-up," Mak Francis says, "because not only is this the rubber match between Michael Stephens and Danny Williams, but just like they were the first three-time World Champions to go head-to-head, they are now the first four-time World Champions to have a singles match!"

 

"So you don't count Magnifico's trouncing of Williams at Genesis VI then?" King asks, but Mak shakes his head.

 

"No King, because Magnifico won his fourth World Title at the end of that match. Danny Williams and Michael Stephens are set to make history again, and we'll just have to see if Danny can pull out the same result he did last time!"

 

As Mak finishes the melodic guitar line of 'Jester's Dance' by In Flames starts up and the crowd, who were already excited, burst into loud cheers!

 

"DAN-E!"

 

"DAN-E!"

 

"DAN-E!"

 

The Smarktron flickers into life, showing 'Deathwish' Danny Williams in action from various times during his SWF tenure. From the Magnificent Seven to the Unholy Trinity, through the classic confrontation on this PPV three years ago with his old friend Dace Night, to beating Kibagami for the World Title, and then a series of brutal Axe Bombers on stars such as Kevin Coyote at Genesis VII, Michael Stephens, El Luchadore Magnifico, and even…

 

"Hey Mak, look, you're on TV!" the Suicide King laughs as, sure enough, a brief clip flashes up of Williams delivering the killing blow moments before pinning Francis during their feud in 2005. Francis just grinds his teeth… and through the curtains onto the soundstage comes the man himself!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"DAN-E!"

 

"DAN-E!"

 

"DAN-E!"

 

With In Flames rocking out in the background Danny Williams starts to stride down towards the ring, long brown hair swaying as he moves and occasionally threatening to obscure his face. He swings his arms back and forth a few times as he reaches the bottom of the ramp, perhaps to aid circulation, perhaps from slight nerves, then heads for the ring steps that will take him up to the apron and back into the SWF ring for the first time in six months.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall," Funyon booms. "Introducing first, from Louisville, Kentucky; he weighs in tonight at 270lbs and is a former four-time World Heavyweight Champion… please welcome the return of DAAAAAAAAAAAN-NYYYYYYYYYYYYY… WIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL-IAMSSSSSSSSSSS!!"

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"Danny Williams has only competed once in the SWF since Genesis VI, where he lost the World Title to El Luchadore Magnifico," Mak Francis informs newer or less attentive viewers, "and that was against Kevin Coyote at Genesis VII in a match that was…"

 

"Dull?" King supplies.

 

"I was going to say 'emphatic'," Francis counters. "I don't think that Coyote, for all his skill, was capable of testing Danny to his limits. Now, I know Danny has been wrestling in Japan fairly regularly over the last couple of years, but he's going to have to get his head back into the North American mindset for his match tonight."

 

"Yeah, because he's wrestling a European," Suicide King snorts, "great logic, Mak."

 

Williams steps through the ropes, nods to referee Brian Warner, then raises one arm to acknowledge the support of the fans, prompting the Acer Arena to cheer even louder!

 

"DAN-E!"

 

"DAN-E!"

 

"DAN-E!"

 

"I think Deathwish brought some of his mind-controlled Puro morons with him," King says, looking around, "there can't be this many dumb people in Australia, can… OK, wait, I think I answered my own question."

 

"Does this mean you don't have to speak?" Mak asks hopefully.

 

"Guess again, Wheels."

 

In Flames starts to fade out and Williams retires to one corner of the ring, performing a couple of last minute stretches as he does so. The atmosphere in the Acer Arena quietens for a moment but becomes tangibly more hostile. Everyone in attendance knows what's coming next.

 

At least, they think they do. And when every light in the arena hits full and the Smarktron whites out, it seems like they're right.

 

"COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YER 'ARD ENOUGH!"

"COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YER 'ARD ENOUGH!"

 

…but the music that blasts out through the PA system after the raucous, rolling soccer chant is not the crashing opening chord that has heralded the arrival of Michael Stephens since mid-2004. Rather it is the oozing, swaggering bassline of 'The Gush' by Raging Speedhorn which greets the Australian crowd, but as the Smarktron fades down to black it is the same jagged white letters which flash up the same familiar slogan:

 

'PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG…'

 

Three chords ring out. On the first, Michael Stephens gets knocked off the top rope to the floor below by a Nathaniel Kibagami springboard enzuigiri. On the second, he gets suplexed onto a barbed-wire board by Aecas, the Black Angel. And on the third, he gets chokeslammed out of the 2007 Clusterfuck by Janus. Then, as the bass solo hits the shot changes to show him taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table with the Stephens Shock Syndrome, the shot starting to strobe and intercut with an image of his grinning face, the devastating landing timed to coincide with-

 

*BOOOM!!*[/b][/b]

 

-the moment the song kicks in, and the stagewide eruption of red pyro that signals the arrival of the SWF's most decorated Englishman! And through the flame and smoke…

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

…waist now devoid of any title belt for the first time since May last year…

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

…canvas trenchcoat flapping behind him as he strides out into the lights of the Acer Arena…

 

TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

…comes a man who looks very different to how the SWF last saw him. The chin-length hair has gone; instead, it's been cut to about an inch long and spiked upwards. The nail polish is still there, but it has been complemented by black eyeliner. And as the lights flash and reflect off the steel-grey eyes, the faint scar tissue from his trip through plate glass courtesy of Kibagami, and the even white teeth bared in a mocking lopsided grin, there is only one conclusion that Funyon can come to.

 

"AND HIS OPPONENT!" the ring announcer bellows over the jeers of the fans, "from Nottingham, England; he weighs in tonight at 218lbs and is also a four-time former World Champion… he is 'The Straight-Edge Sensation'… TOXXXXXXXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!"

 

'Dysfunction is my game

These thoughts drive me insane

Tell me the price

Of which I have to pay…'

 

Toxxic walks down the entrance ramp, looking from one side to the other and smirking at the fans who are variously shouting, swearing and, in a couple of cases, spitting at him. As he reaches the bottom he looks up and locks gazes with Williams and the smirk disappears to be replaced with a sober, measuring look as he weighs his opponent up.

 

'You see me pacify life

Take it under

Pull me under

You only want to know the real reason…'

 

Suddenly Toxxic crosses his arm into the straight-edge 'X', then flings them wide, palms flat, to ignite another blast of red pyro from the top of each ringpost as the chorus hits!

 

*BOOOM!!*

 

'GIVE ME THE PRICE AND I'LL TAKE NO BLOOD

YOUR SON OF ANGEL…'

 

Toxxic rolls into the ring and pops up to his feet, then shrugs his coat off and hands it to Brian Warner before climbing to the second buckle and mockingly performing his signature pose, arms spread wide and palms flat to the floor. Needless to say, the crowd are not impressed.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"King, it looks like we are no longer dealing with Michael Stephens," Mak Francis declares, "I can only assume that this is following on from what Toxxic said in that House of Marvellous two weeks ago, where he blamed the fans for chanting for 'Toxxic' without, he said, remembering who and what Toxxic was."

 

"Mak, tell me honestly, did Toxxic ever look truly comfortable while he was using his real name?" the Suicide King replies as the Englishman hops back down from the second buckle. "Personally, I know he was just itching for a chance to get back to how things used to be. And let's face it, this isn't like Alan Clark inventing another 'character' for himself, or," and here the Gambling Man looks around nervously, they are in Sidney after all, "Janus and Terrence. Toxxic tried for however long, God knows why, to play nice, not upset anyone and let them ignore all the stuff he did in the past, but the fans wanted to dredge that all up again! So if he's started using that old name again, well, they only have themselves to blame!"

 

"I don't care what Michael Stephens calls himself," Mak Francis argues, "and he shouldn't be worrying about it either. What he has to concentrate on is making sure The Galacticos' Tag Title loss to Wild & Dangerous doesn't affect his game tonight, because Danny Williams is the sort of opponent who will be able to take advantage of any hesitation, uncertainty or gap in your game!"

 

"There speaks experience," King snipes as Brian Warner checks both men are ready. Williams nods and eases himself out of the corner while Toxxic cracks his neck from side-to-side and grins again, probably through nervous tension than any real amusement. This all seems good enough for Warner, who signals to the timekeeper…

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"…and we're underway!" Mak Francis shouts as the two wrestlers begin circling, "Toxxic won in 2004, Danny won in 2005, now in 2007 both men have four World Titles under their belts, if you'll pardon the pun, and they're hooking up for bragging rights! Toxxic wasn't happy with Tom Flesher bringing Danny in at the level that he did, and he made his feelings known by spitting in Williams' face, leading to Danny demanding that this be his first match!"

 

Williams starts to advance towards Toxxic while the straight-edger watches him cautiously, then as Danny makes a lunge Stephens dodges and ducks to one side leaving his opponent grabbing at thin air!

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

Williams turns and heads after his slippery opponent, while Toxxic keeps backing off but remains careful not to allow himself to get cornered. Danny manages to close the gap between the two of them again and makes another grab, but this time Toxxic dives down between his opponent's legs and scoots through, grabbing one of Williams' legs on his way through. Williams wobbles as Toxxic keeps hold of the ankle and starts to lift as he returns to a vertical base, and with the Louisville Elbower pretty much at his mercy it's no problem for Toxxic to kick Danny in the back of his standing leg and cause him to collapse forward to the mat!

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

Stephens ignores the crowd, instead lifting Williams' leg up by the ankle, then driving it back down into the mat knee-first! Williams grunts in pain, and as Toxxic goes for it again he rolls over onto his back and coils his legs up, drawing Stephens in, then kicks out and lands both boots on the Englishman's chest to shove him away and send him falling back onto his ass! Williams starts to get up to a vertical base but Toxxic is there first, and as Danny stands properly the straight-edger darts in and launches a basement dropkick to the right knee that drops Williams back down; Toxxic then scrambles to his feet and launches two more dropkicks, one into Williams' right arm, then another into the bigger man's temple that sends Danny sprawling back onto the canvas!

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"It looks like Toxxic is going for hit-and-run tactics in the early stages here," Mak Francis points out, "which has to be considered wise given the size, weight and sheer power difference between these two men."

 

"Size, weight and power on their own get you nowhere," King argues, "just look at those two Hindu freaks. And Korgath, sadly."

 

Danny Williams is starting to get up again and Toxxic is right in there helping him, grabbing the bigger man's arm and hauling him up then, before Danny can get his weight balanced, Irish whipping the Louisville Elbower into the ropes. Danny hits and starts to rebound and Toxxic jumps into the air for a leapfrog… but Williams has hooked his arms around the top rope and killed his momentum, leaving Toxxic a sitting duck as he returns to the canvas just as Danny explodes forwards under his own steam to slam a massive shoulderblock into the Englishman!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Danny, who was barely rocked by the impact at all while Toxxic was knocked flat onto his back, raises one huge arm and cocks it, ready to fall into an elbowdrop… but the Englishman rolls aside at the last moment and keeps rolling clean out of the ring!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

Williams picks himself back up off the mat and rubs momentarily at his elbow, while Stephens takes a deep breath on the outside of the ring and looks thoughtfully back up at his opponent. Brian Warner comes over to the ropes and instructs the straight-edger to return to the squared circle, but Stephens ignores him.

 

"-and that's what Danny Williams can do when he gets a chance to connect with his bodyweight," Mak Francis points out, "Toxxic had to work hard to take Danny off his feet, Danny just had to run into Toxxic! Now Stephens doesn't seem so eager to mix it up, it must be said."

 

"That's crap," King shoots back, "Toxxic's just considering his options. He's been wrestling every week since the Clusterfuck, while Danny has been resting up and relaxing. Toxxic's been busting his gut in title matches and streetfights while Williams has been eating spare ribs and drinking whiskey. Williams is not only coming into this match more rested due to his refusal to wrestle, but he's had a chance to scout Toxxic while keeping himself out of the ring to prevent his opponent from being able to properly prepare!"

 

"Come on now King, you don't believe that do you?" Mak asks as Toxxic turns around to flip a v-sign at a particularly vocal fan in the front row behind him.

 

"Sure I do!"

 

Brian Warner seems resigned to the fact that Toxxic won't listen to him and begins his count, but Stephens seems to have taken whatever time he wanted and rolls back in under the bottom rope, then gets back up to his feet. Danny just stands waiting for him and Toxxic advances, arms slightly raised as if going for a lock-up. Williams doesn't seem to believe that his opponent really wants to match strength with him - and with good reason - but he raises his arms anyway, ready to ward off any aggressive moves on his opponent's part… except that Toxxic takes the last two steps at a run and leaves his feet to slam another basement dropkick into Danny's right knee! Danny's base is knocked out from under him and he drops to one knee, and Stephens seizes his chance and Williams' right arm. However, instead of twisting it overhead into an armwringer as is his usual method of trying to control powerful opponents Toxxic simply corkscrews his body through the air, torquing the arm forwards but at the same time dragging Danny down facefirst into the mat!

 

*BANG!*

 

Toxxic doesn't release his hold on the bigger man's limb and, with Williams momentarily dazed and - at least for the moment - under control, Stephens gets back to his feet and then steps over Danny's arm with one foot. He then goes up onto tiptoe for a moment before falling forward to his knees, trapping Danny's arm between the shin of one leg and the calf of the other and causing Deathwish to let out an audible grunt of pain.

 

"Nice armbreaker there from Toxxic," Francis notes clinically, "the way he beat Danny in 2004 was the Repeat To Fade, his hammerlock and Dragon Sleeper combination that works best if the opponent's arm is weakened, but moves like the RTF II and the Regal Stretch would also benefit from a bit of setting up. And of course," the Franchise continues as Williams snatches his arm out of danger and rolls away into a sitting position, "the more Toxxic works that limb over the less likely it is that Danny will be able to hit the Axe Bomber with full force."

 

Not that Toxxic is content to concentrate on the arm; with Danny in a sitting position and nursing his arm the Englishman is already moving again, back to his feet and approaching his opponent from behind at pace, then flipping over and grabbing Danny's head on the way past to snap his neck forward!

 

"A move borrowed from Landon Maddix, I fancy," Mak comments.

 

"A move borrowed from someone infinitely more talented, I think you'll find," King sniffs. However, regardless of where Toxxic lifted that move from Danny's problems aren't over yet because Stephens suddenly kips up to his feet, then turns around and drives another basement dropkick into his opponent's face!

 

*SMACK!*

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

Danny falls backwards to the mat and Toxxic dives on top for the cover…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but gets unceremoniously thrown off by Williams, ending up at least a couple of feet away from the powerful Kentuckian!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"What power!" Mak Francis shouts as Toxxic starts to scramble up with just the faintest hint of intimidation flickering around his features, "Danny Williams pretty much press slammed Toxxic off his chest and through the air!"

 

"It was showy and pointless," the Suicide King fires back as Danny rolls to the side, then starts getting up, "Danny wasted energy there!"

 

Toxxic doesn't like feeling intimidated, so he doesn't let Williams get back up and instead charges forward to launch yet another basement dropkick at his opponent… but Danny, still on one knee, manages to simply slap the Englishman aside! Toxxic lands on the mat, and Williams drops an elbow into his opponent's back from a kneeling position. He gets back up and aims another, but Toxxic once more quickly rolls to one side and out of the ring, this time before Williams lets himself fall.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

A few of the more imaginative Australians are flapping their arms and making chicken noises at the straight-edger, but Stephens ignores them as he shifts his shoulders and tries to straighten his back out, then jogs around to the other side of the ring and rolls back in under the bottom rope while Williams looks on.

 

"Yes, hit and run really is the approach Toxxic's going for here," Mak notes, "he's trying to do as much damage as possible in quick bursts, but the moment things go wrong he's getting himself out of the firing line to prevent Danny from building momentum, because when Williams is on a roll he's practically unstoppable."

 

"That sounds like a wise plan to me," King nods.

 

"I'm not saying it isn't," Francis admits, "but it's a little different to how Toxxic normally operates. For all his faults, he's a genius at exploiting any little miscalculation or overreaching from his opponent, so you'd think that winding things up to a high tempo may suit him. I think this more cautious approach might be the closest we're going to get from him to an admission of the quality of his opponent."

 

Both men start to advance towards each other again. Williams keeps a careful eye on his opponent, expecting another basement dropkick attempt, but what actually happens this time is that Stephens shoots in headfirst and wraps his arms around Danny's right leg, looking for a takedown. Williams manages to land a forearm on Toxxic's back, but he's off-balance and it doesn't have quite the usual crushing power, so Toxxic is able to hang on and straighten up to unbalance Danny still further. From there Stephens hooks his right leg behind Danny's left and pushes forwards, toppling Williams back to the mat with the bigger man's right leg still in his grasp.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

Stephens doesn't hesitate, and instead flips forward taking the leg with him to snap it back and put stress on the tendons. Danny grunts in pain as Stephens lands beside him with the leg in his grasp, but the Englishman immediately releases the leg and grabs Williams' right arm instead, then performs a forward roll across the startled Lousville Elbower's stomach. Danny's weight almost foils the straight-edger, but he manages to lever Williams over onto his front and then applies a Fujiwara armbar!

 

"Excellent," Suicide King golf claps, "excellent wrestling."

 

"If Toxxic's going to stay in close with Danny Williams he needs his opponent to be on the mat when he does it," Mak Francis acknowledges. "From what I know of Danny's recent tenure in Japan he's using his old mat wrestling skills less and less so Toxxic may actually be able to outwit Danny on the canvas - he's certainly more manoeuvrable!"

 

Toxxic wrenches back on the Fujiwara armbar while Brian Warner leans down to check on Danny's condition, but Deathwish waves him away. To be sure, a Fujiwara is a nasty move, but Toxxic doesn't have the strength or technical know-how to make it truly deadly, and besides Danny's huge arm is in good condition. So Williams grits his teeth, braces his legs and his free left arm against the mat, and starts to push himself towards the ring ropes that offer his most immediate and easiest way out of this. Toxxic tries to crank back on the hold and elicits another grunt of pain from the big man, but Danny's progress is unaffected and he's now only a foot or so away…

 

'OK Toxx, break it!' Warner orders as Danny's hand wraps around the bottom rope. Stephens obediently lets go and rolls away while Williams starts to get back to his feet, but the moment Danny reaches one knee Toxxic runs in and launches kicks at the arm. This new offensive takes Williams off his game long enough for Stephens to initiate an Irish whip, but not for long enough to complete it as Williams reverses the momentum and sends his opponent into the far ropes instead! Danny cocks his arm and lets fly with a signature elbow smash as Toxxic rebounds, but the canny Englishman ducks and it passes harmlessly over his head. Williams turns to try and draw a bead on his opponent…

 

…only to find his head grabbed and Toxxic sitting out into a jawbreaker!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Williams staggers back, clutching at his face; Toxxic rolls back onto his back, then coils his legs and kips up to his feet-

 

*whump-CRACK!*

 

-before springing up to deliver an enzuigiri to the Louisville Elbower!

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"Danny's not going down!" Mak shouts, and sure enough Williams is wobbling, but still upright. Stephens frowns as he looks up from his landing position, rolls onto his back and does it again-

 

*whump-CRACK!*

 

-this time knocking Danny to one knee, but no more!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

Williams looks dazed but he's still hanging in there; Stephens rolls onto his back again, kips up one more time and this time runs for the ropes behind Danny, exploding off them with a basement enzui-dropkick!

 

*SMACK!*

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"If at first you don't succeed, try try again Mak!" Suicide King says approvingly as Toxxic looks down at Williams with an expression of annoyance, then starts trying to turn the bigger man onto his back.

 

"I thought your motto was 'if at first you don't succeed, cheat'?"

 

"No, it was 'if at first you don't succeed at cheating, try try again'," King corrects his commentary partner. Meanwhile in the ring, Toxxic makes a cover…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TW-

-but Danny throws him clean off again!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

The chants of the crowd seem to galvanise Williams, who rolls over and shakes his head to try and dispel the effects of Toxxic's attacks, then begins to push himself up to his feet. Stephens does the same but watches Williams warily, cautious of the overwhelming strength shown so far by the American. However, Danny isn't satisfied with that and slaps his chest, daring Toxxic to come try him again!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

Toxxic has always found it difficult to resist a direct challenge where there's the chance of proving someone wrong, and given he has a fairly good record so far in rushing Williams he starts to advance carefully, not wanting to telegraph his final target. Williams carefully balances himself, ready to react… and Stephens suddenly makes his move, onto to find Danny shooting low and grabbing him around the thighs, then rearing up with Toxxic in his grasp before twisting and dropping to the mat with a double-leg slam!

 

"Beautiful technique from Williams, and now Toxxic is right where he doesn't want to be!" Mak shouts, "Danny's got the weight and strength advantage, and from here he should be able to control his opponent!"

 

Toxxic has had the breath knocked out of him by the impact but he has enough instincts to turn over onto his stomach to prevent an immediate pin; Williams responds by scooting around to the front of his opponent with surprising nimbleness, then tries to wrap one massive arm around Toxxic's head for a front facelock. Stephens gets his left arm up to block it, preventing Danny from getting it cinched in properly, but Williams has a reply to that and simply reaches forward to slam his forearm down hard onto the straight-edger's back!

 

*WHUMP!*

 

*WHUMP!*

 

*WHUMP!*

 

Toxxic coughs, desperately trying to draw air into his lungs, but he manages to keep his arm where it is and prevent Danny from easily securing the facelock. Williams backs off and waits for his moment; Toxxic starts trying to push himself up to get out of this compromising position but he doesn't move as fast as he'd like, and that gives Danny a chance to rush in and secure a side headlock on the startled straight-edger!

 

"A headlock?" King sniffs, "please. Mak, is this Danny Williams the Great Wrestler we see in front of us?"

 

"The effectiveness of a move can be just as much about how you use it as how 'flashy' it is," Mak Francis argues as Williams tightens the grip of his massive arms, "you don't need a thousand different facebuster variations or three hundred backbreakers to win a match. What's the most complicated move you've ever seen Danny Williams perform, King? A stepover facelock? The Buffalo Sleeper?"

 

"So what are you saying, that Williams is too dumb to use complicated moves?" King asks.

 

"Not at all," Mak replies, "I'm saying that Danny Williams doesn't need to use complicated moves when he's got so far just by doing reasonably simple ones very, very well."

 

Toxxic wraps his arms around his opponent's waist, positions his legs to try and give himself the best base possible, then starts lifting upwards to try and take Williams up and over with a backdrop suplex… but Williams simply clamps down on the headlock and increases the pressure on Toxxic's skull, and the Englishman's attempt sputters out as the flash of pain overrides his intentions!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"I can't believe this," Suicide King grumbles as the fans start clapping and chanting in support of their favourite, "a match like this on Pay-Per-View, and what does Williams do? A headlock."

 

"But why not?" Mak argues again. "You just saw how he was able to use the nature of the hold to prevent Toxxic from trying to get out in that way. He's positioned in the middle of the ring, a long way away from any ropes so Toxxic won't be able to get a rope break… it works and it's allowed in the rules, so why not use it?"

 

However, it seems that Danny Williams does think that maybe things could do with a little spicing up. Accordingly the big man shifts his position a little, takes a step back with his left leg and then pops his hips, dragging Toxxic over and around by his head and taking the Englishman down to the mat!

 

*BANG!*

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"Even more boring," King groans.

 

"Even more controlling," Francis argues, "with Danny's weight advantage Toxxic will find it difficult to get out of this from on his back."

 

Sure enough, Stephens has very little leverage to use and he can't force his way up against Williams' 270lbs. The straight-edger tries another approach and wraps his arms around Danny's waist again, then tries to heave Deathwish over his own body in order to stack him on his shoulders for a pin, but Williams simply tightens up his grip again and that combined with the weight of his opponent means that Toxxic's attempt fails and he slumps back.

 

"So come on then Mr. Move Guru, what does all this headlocking achieve?" King asks.

 

"Well, if you really want to know," Mak grins, "Williams has his weight partially over Toxxic's chest, which will restrict his breathing. The arm around his head has the potential to partially restrict the flow of blood to his head, plus the pressure on Toxxic's skull just plain hurts. Aside from the benefits of Toxxic being dizzy if and when he gets up, as well as his head already hurting for when Danny goes for the Axe Bomber, the sheer frustration of being stuck in this hold for so long might make Toxxic over-eager and prone to mistakes when he gets out."

 

"Congratulations Francis, I think you've just polished off the few viewers who had managed to remain awake so far," King offers.

 

"If it means they don't have to listen to you, I'll have done them a favour."

 

Toxxic's legs suddenly snake up, looking to wrap around Danny's head and drag Deathwish off and into a headscissors; Williams throws his left arm up to fend them off, then reasserts his grip and ducks out of the way as Toxxic tries again. However, this new offensive prompts Danny to take action and the Louisville Elbower starts cautiously getting up to his feet, careful to ensure that at no point does he relax his grip and allow Toxxic to slip away or provide an opportunity that the ever-vigilant Englishman could use to escape. However, this time Toxxic has another idea and he starts firing forearms into Danny's back, looking to dislodge the bigger man. Danny holds on to the headlock and grits his teeth, but the blows are starting to become uncomfortable even for someone with his mass. Finally, after about the fifth or sixth shot Toxxic feels Williams wince, and that small movement is enough for him to bull forwards and get Williams a step towards the ropes. Danny is now in a less balanced stance and Toxxic keeps hitting and keeps shoving…

 

"Thank God!" King gives praise, "the end is in sight!"

 

Danny is being manoeuvred towards the ropes but is still able to keep his body between them and Toxxic, making it more difficult for the straight-edger to reach out and grab them for a break. Toxxic reacts to this by trying to move Danny in as fast as possible and gets Williams into the cables at a reasonable speed, causing the bigger man to rebound and allowing Toxxic to shove him off and away…

 

…or at least that's the plan, but Danny clamps onto the headlock and tows Toxxic with him, maintaining the hold and dragging Stephens away from the ropes before he can grab on to get a ropebreak!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"Arrgh! I don't believe it!" King fumes. "Look at Williams! He's desperately holding on because he knows he can't control Toxxic!"

 

"That's a load of crap," Mak Francis retorts, "Danny's in complete control! He's using a simple, easy to apply hold and is making it work. It's true that it's a handy way of slowing down an opponent who's far faster than him, but the work it's doing is offensive, not defensive!"

 

Williams smiles slightly as the chants and applause of the Australian crowd rise around him once more, but he doesn't want to give Toxxic a chance like that again so he adjusts his feet once more, then pops his hips again to take the Englishman back down to the mat!

 

*BANG!*

 

Toxxic lands hard, the breath is driven from his lungs and Williams leans on him slightly, forcing both shoulders onto the mat…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but Toxxic reacts instantly by bringing both legs up, and this time he manages to lock them around Williams' head before the Kentucky native can react! Toxxic locks his legs into a tight headscissors and hauls downwards, eventually forcing Williams to release the headlock and pulling Deathwish down. However, Danny isn't going to be cowed so easily and has no intention of getting stuck in a hold himself, so he reaches up and grabs Stephens' legs. To Toxxic's horror, Danny starts to prise his opponent's grip loose!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Danny levers his opponent's legs apart, then shoves Toxxic's legs aside and falls down with an elbow that strikes right into the Englishman's ribcage; from there he rolls into a cover…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but Stephens kicks out!

 

"See King?" Mak says, with just a trace of smugness, "a headlock and an elbow drop, and Danny has got closer to a pinfall than Toxxic has so far."

 

"Oh, shut up," King growls.

 

Danny grabs Toxxic and starts to bring the Englishman up to his feet, then easily scoops his opponent up before slamming him back down. With Stephens back down on the mat and decidedly breathless Danny backs off to the ropes and rebounds before dropping another elbow onto his opponent, which doesn't help matters much for Toxxic.

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

Williams doesn't look around at the crowd even though they're chanting his name; instead the Louisville Elbower scrapes Toxxic off the canvas again and hoists him up into the air one more time, but this time clean above his head!

 

"Danny showing off his strength again," Mak shouts, "that's over 200lbs he's pressing like it was nothing!" Sure enough, Williams has started raising and lowering Michael Stephens and the fans are counting along:

 

"ONE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

Danny gets bored at five and simply shoves Stephens up into the air, then walks forwards to avoid getting fallen on… but Stephens manages to readjust in mid-air and lands on his feet, only for Williams to turn around and nail him with an elbow smash!

 

*CRACK!*

 

Toxxic staggers and Williams lets fly with another…

 

*CRACK!*

 

…before winding up and spinning around for the rolling elbow…

 

*BANG!*

 

…which Toxxic counters with a drop toehold!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"And that's what Toxxic's good at," Mak says, not above giving praise in turn, "he can use your own momentum against you so well."

 

"It gets better," King chortles, "he's about to tie Danny up in knots!"

 

Stephens takes a second to shake his head to try and clear it from the elbow smashes, but this gives Williams a chance to recover from his unexpected landing as well. As a result, although Toxxic hooks Danny's left foot into the crook of the bigger man's right knee, then locks it in place by scissoring Deathwish's right ankle between his legs, when he reaches forwards to hook in the ¾ nelson facelock that will complete the Regal Stretch Williams is in no mood to comply!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

Toxxic tries but every attempt to snake his left arm underneath Danny's right is blocked off by the cagey veteran, who then fires one, two, three back elbows into the Englishman's face! Stephens has no choice but to relinquish his hold and rolls to the side, allowing Williams to extricate his legs and go back on the offensive by grabbing Toxxic and bringing him up to his feet. From there Deathwish performs an Irish whip and sends Stephens into the ropes, swinging for an elbow smash as the straight-edger rebounds but missing when Toxxic ducks. Williams turns around and Toxxic leaps up for a dropkick… but Williams just slaps him out of the air!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"Danny just swatted Toxxic away like he was nothing!" Mak shouts.

 

Toxxic lands on the mat, but doesn't get a chance to regain his bearings as Danny grabs him and hauls him up again, then sends him into the ropes once more. This time Toxxic doesn't get a chance to duck, as it is Danny who leaps into the air and delivers a dropkick!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"Amazing!" Mak Francis says as Williams starts to pick himself up, "Danny Williams can still throw that dropkick!"

 

"That's about all he can still do!" Suicide King retorts. Meanwhile Williams sees Toxxic lying on his back with the air knocked out of him and figures it's worth a shot, so makes a cover…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but Stephens kicks out again.

 

"FUCK HIM UP DAN-NY, FUCK HIM UP!"

 

"FUCK HIM UP DAN-NY, FUCK HIM UP!"

 

Williams looks up and around at the crowd as the chant changes; the Australian fans are glad to see the big Kentucky native in control, and now they want something a bit more from him. Williams doesn't normally play to the fans, but he too seems to feel that a change has come over the match now, so he gets up and backs away from Toxxic… then, almost as if not thinking about it, reaches down and starts to adjust the elbow pad on his right arm.

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Toxxic is getting up to his feet, wheezing as he does so; 270lbs of dropkick will do that to a body. He turns around, searching for his opponent…

 

…and Danny Williams explodes forwards, swinging one arm for the Axe Bomber!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAoooooooohhhhhhhhh…"

 

The fans' joyful chorus is cut off as Toxxic ducks! Danny's momentum carries him a couple more steps before he can stop himself, then he turns around-

 

*SMACK!*

 

-into a Stephenskick! This isn't enough to drop Danny, but the big man does stagger back onto the ropes. Toxxic shakes his head in amazement at what it's going to take to put Williams down, but decides to try and accelerate the process by charging at his opponent… however, Danny ducks his head at the last moment and instead of being taken over the ropes he back bodydrops Stephens up and out of the ring!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"You're just lucky this isn't being contested under Cruiserweight rules, Williams!" King shouts angrily.

 

"King, why the hell would this be under Cruiserweight rules?" Mak demands in exasperation, "Williams is at 270lbs!"

 

"Hey, TORU and Wildchild had a Cruiserweight rules match, and TORU was easily 260lbs," King argues.

 

"That was when Joe Peters was in charge," Mak says with a completely straight face as Toxxic, who managed to adjust for his landing relatively well given he was taken unawares, starts to get back up to his feet. However, the Straight-Edge Sensation looks a little wobbly and unstable and Danny looks to capitalise - the big man turns and charges for the far ropes, then head back across the ring towards where Toxxic stands on the outside. Stephens looks up just in time to see Danny Williams dive headfirst towards him, streaking between the top and middle ropes with elbow outstretched…

 

*SMACK!*

 

…and Toxxic leaps up and dropkicks Danny in the head!

 

"HO-LY SHIT!"

 

"HO-LY SHIT!"

 

"HO-LY SHIT!"

 

"DENIED!" King roars with glee as both men tumble to the floor, "you couldn't dodge that one, could you! What was it you were saying about Toxxic using his opponents' momentum against them, Mak?"

 

"Unbelievable reflexes from Toxxic!" Mak exclaims in response, "he managed to cut Danny off at the pass as Williams went for the Elbow Suicida!"

 

'ONE!' Brian Warner bellows, leaning over the top rope and checking as he does so that both men are still alive. They are, although signs of life are more obvious in Toxxic than Williams.

 

"King, if Danny Williams had hit the Elbow Suicida we might be saying goodnight to Toxxic already," Mak Francis points out, "I guess Danny figured it was worth the risk, but on this occasion it didn't pay off."

 

'TWO!'

 

Toxxic gets up to his feet, looks down at Danny and grins. The impact of the dropkick sent him spinning away as well and he didn't know where his opponent had ended up, but now he's seen him an idea forms in the Straight-Edge Sensation's mind. Accordingly he hops up to the apron, then sights on Danny's form…

 

'THREE!' Warner continues, hoping that he'll persuade Toxxic to get into the ring.

 

No such luck.

 

*WHAM!*

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"Hangover off the apron!" Mak shouts as Stephens lands his signature somersault legdrop across Danny Williams' throat on the floor of the Acer Arena. The nearby fans jeer at the Englishman, but Toxxic gets back to his feet (not without a bit of a limp, protective mats or not that landing will jar your hip) and rolls into the ring.

 

'FOUR!'

 

"Going for a countout," Suicide King says approvingly, "good plan. Easy and humiliating."

 

"And possibly the safest way to wrestle Danny Williams is when he's outside the ring and you're inside it," Mak Francis adds.

 

"Yeah. How come you never thought of that?"

 

'FIVE!'

 

Danny Williams may have taken a dropkick enhanced by his own speed, plus a Hangover after falling onto the mats outside the ring, but he's still tougher than dirt. His head is hurting like hell, but the big veteran starts to groggily sit up, then focus on the ring.

 

'SIX!'

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

The chants of the fans are rising again, and Danny Williams rises with them; the Louisville Elbower struggles up to his feet, grabs onto the bottom rope for support for a moment, then looks up just in time to see Toxxic hurtling towards him with a baseball slide.

 

'Just' being the operative word.

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Toxxic barely has time to register the fact that Danny has sidestepped before he's standing on the floor and off-balance, having expected to hit something hard. Which he does-

 

*CRASH!*

 

-but only because Danny's just thrown him bodily into the steel guardrail!

 

"FUCK HIM UP DAN-NY, FUCK HIM UP!"

 

"FUCK HIM UP DAN-NY, FUCK HIM UP!"

 

Williams takes a deep breath, winds up and charges at his opponent, but Toxxic gets his boot up and catches Danny in the face! Williams staggers back and Toxxic takes a moment to snatch a desperate breath before he grabs Danny in a front facelock and runs past him…

 

…leaping up onto the apron and continuing for a couple of steps, body tilted at an angle…

 

…then swings off to come down on his back, spiking Danny's head into the mats with a DDT!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"Tornado DDT using the apron!" Mak Francis shouts, "I've got to admit, Toxxic showed real initiative there!"

 

"He's as happy outside the ring as he is in it," King argues, "Danny might have an advantage inside, but out here Toxxic is king!"

 

"Ah, so you admit that Danny has an advantage in a real wrestling match?" Mak asks.

 

"I said 'might' Francis, 'might'," the Gambling Man backs and fills.

 

'TWO!' Brian Warner yells, the 'one' of the new count having been lost in the commotion following the DDT. Once more Toxxic is the first man back to his feet and the Englishman wastes no time in getting back into the ring, leaving Williams out on the floor. Needless to say, the fans aren't best pleased with that course of action.

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

[Ace309 0]

Unfortunately Toxxic doesn't seem bothered by the chants, regarding the nearby fans with a vaguely perplexed glance and an expression that seems to say 'yeah, and?'.

 

'THREE!'

 

"If Danny gets counted out here then Toxxic will have obviously played this well," Mak Francis says, "but if he doesn't then he has a long, long time to recover before he has to get back into the ring. Much like we've seen in Last Man Standing matches, if you try and get your opponent counted out before it's actually going to work all you're really doing is giving him a chance to get his wind back."

 

'FOUR!'

 

"So what you're saying is, it'll either work or it won't?" King asks sarcastically, "Jesus Mak, I can see why they put you on play-by-play, nothing gets past you."

 

"Hey King, didn't you run this place at one point?" Mak replies innocently, causing muffled swearing and the name of Mark Stevens to emerge at intervals from the other commentary position.

 

'FIVE!'

 

Danny Williams is starting to move on the arena floor. Toxxic looks on with interest, hoping to gauge whether his opponent is going to make it back into the ring in time and if so, how quickly.

 

'SIX!'

 

Williams pushes himself up, huge arms working hard to lift his bodyweight off the floor. He gets one leg under him… then the other…

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

'SEVEN!'

 

Technically of course, Williams could hang around on the outside for a little longer and push the count to its limit in order to recover more. But that's not really Danny's way, and as soon as he's happy he can stand the big man moves forward and slides underneath the bottom rope into the ring.

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

Toxxic, of course, has other ideas about Danny's ability to stand and the Straight-Edge Sensation pounces before grabbing Williams' head in both hands and bringing his own skull into contact with Deathwish's!

 

*CRUNCH!*

 

…with less than spectacular results. Danny Williams' progress to his feet is certainly slowed and the big man shakes his head woozily as if trying to comprehend something confusing; for his part Toxxic falls onto his backside and his eyes glaze for a second before he manages to get back up and snare Williams in a front facelock.

 

"Much more sensible plan," Mak admits.

 

Toxxic seems to agree; he throws Danny's arm over his head then, before the Kentucky native can react, drops and spins to one side to take Williams down with a swinging neckbreaker. However, Toxxic doesn't stop there and starts to roll back up to his feet. It takes a lot of effort for the Englishman to drag Williams back up, but once he does so he turns back-to-back with the bigger man before sitting out in another neckbreaker, this time a Hangman's variant.

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

Williams grabs the back of his neck and rolls over onto his front; Toxxic puffs his cheeks out, takes a couple of breaths and turns back to the attack, this time grabbing Williams' head and managing to pull the bigger man into a sitting position. With Danny bent forwards Stephens sits down behind him and looks to thread his right leg under Williams' right arm… and the left leg under Williams' left arm…

 

"We haven't seen Toxxic bring out the double-leg nelson in a while," Mak comments, "but it would seem the perfect hold to capitalise on the work he's done on Danny's neck and head while preventing Williams from building any momentum."

 

…or at least, it would be if Toxxic could get it hooked in! However Danny has other ideas, and he forces his massive arms downwards, blocking the hold!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"I don't believe this!" Mak shouts, "Danny's arms are stronger than Toxxic's legs!"

 

"That's the roids!" King shouts back.

 

However, given the massive physique of the wrestler in question Mak Francis shouldn't be that surprised that Danny can out-power Toxxic; Williams forces his arms down further, causing more strain to appear on his opponent's face, then with a sudden jerk Danny snaps his arms right down and traps Toxxic's legs underneath them!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

Toxxic seems rather alarmed at this development and leans forward to paste Danny in the back of the head with a right hand, much to Brian Warner's displeasure. Unfortunately for the Englishman it doesn't do him much good because although Williams' face shows some pain as the blow strikes his recently-attacked neck, Danny then twists to one side and rolls over onto his front. Toxxic's trapped legs means he has to roll with the American's greater bodyweight and ends up on his front as well, and this allows Williams to release the legs but instantly throw his weight forward onto his opponent. A small 'Toxx Loves Buttsex' chant starts up at ringside, but the potentially suggestive positioning doesn't last long as Williams shoots his arms underneath his opponent and grabs a rear waistlock, then carefully starts to brace his legs against the canvas. Toxxic suddenly realises what's going on and tries to wriggle free, but he's too late…

 

*BANG!*

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"Wheelbarrow German Suplex from Danny Williams!" Mak Francis shouts as Toxxic crashes back-first into the canvas, "Deathwish just swung Toxxic through one hundred and eighty degrees and nearly sent him through the ring!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

Toxxic lays on his back looking up at the lights with the breath blasted from his lungs; Danny Williams rolls on top and hooks the leg…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but Toxxic kicks out! Williams doesn't seem best pleased with that result but rather than arguing with the referee the Kentucky native grabs his opponent and starts hauling him to his feet. Once he has Toxxic at something approaching a vertical base Williams easily scoops the straight-edger off his feet and places him over one shoulder like a man positioning a sack of potatoes for easy transport and heads towards the corner to maximise the amount of run-up he can get. Toxxic tries to reach out and grab onto the ropes to save himself but to no avail and Danny turns, starts to run…

 

"Running powerslam-" Mak shouts.

 

*BANG!*

 

"-with authority!"

 

Williams goes for the cover again, prompting Warner to hit the mat once more…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-

-but Toxxic kicks out one more time, refusing to die just yet!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

This time Williams does cock an enquiring eyebrow at the referee, just to check that Brian Warner doesn't think he made that two count too long, but the referee is certain he got it right. Williams sighs, pushes his long hair back from his face and stands up, then backs off into the corner again. He absent-mindedly starts rolling his right arm, ready for Toxxic to get back to his feet… which takes the straight-edger a little time, but slowly Stephens gets his breath back and begins to struggle up. Williams waits for the right moment, waits until Toxxic starts to turn towards him and then charges-

 

*CRACK!*

 

-but he waited a second too long, and before he can lash an arm out for the Axe Bomber Toxxic dives into a soccer tackle and scythes Williams' legs from under him!

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

Now it's Danny's turn to struggle up to his feet, desperate to get his vertical base under him again so he at least has his strength and leverage advantage over his opponent. However Danny isn't the only man who's desperate at the moment, and Stephens scrambles back to his feet and lunges to grab a front facelock. Toxxic dispenses with the usual showboating and just whips his right arm around, sitting out and smashing Danny's head into the canvas with an elbow-drive bulldog!

 

*WHAM!*

 

"Unfinished Business!" Mak shouts, "and a cover!"

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but Danny kicks out! Toxxic slams his hand on the mat in frustration and starts to pull Danny up, then with the Louisville Elbower only halfway to his feet he crosses Danny's arms over his own throat. Before Williams can react or try and untangle himself Stephens brings him fully to his feet, then turns back-to-back before sitting out with a Goku-Raku neckbreaker, but then rolls over onto his front and pulls Danny with him with the arms still in position. From there Stephens bridges forwards, arcing his body above Danny's and wrenching backwards on the Goku-Raku choke and doing his best to haul Danny's head upwards!

 

"Inverted Goku-Raku Clutch from Toxxic," Mak calls.

 

"Call it what it is Francis," King snaps, "it's a bastardised Snowflake Clutch!"

 

Certainly, Toxxic picked this trick up from his old stablemate-turned-rival 'The Critic' Scott Pretzler, but in creating a more flashy move the Englishman lost some of the effectiveness of the deadly hold perfected by the Canadian. Not only can Toxxic not get quite as much 'pull' on his opponent, the bridging hold is also less easy to maintain; Toxxic struggles, but it's less than half a minute before he has to release the hold and collapses. Danny Williams gasps some air into his lungs - his bodyweight meant Toxxic couldn't haul him back far, but his breathing was still restricted and he's feeling a little light-headed. However Danny knows that his best chance is still to get back to his feet where he can maximise what agility he has and stands a better chance of dodging any attacks launched at him, so he starts to get up once more…

 

…and Toxxic leaps on him, snaring the bigger man with a bodyscissors and snaking his arms underneath Danny's to apply a double-underhook, locking Deathwish into the RTF II!

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

"You can chant all you like," King chortles at the Australian fans, "there's no way out of that! Williams is a goner!"

 

It may seem tempting to agree. Toxxic has his hands laced tight and his grip has forced Danny's arms upwards at an awkward angle, while his left arm presses Williams' head down and restricts his breathing; an effect not helped by the bodyscissors he's applying with his legs. Williams struggles but it's all he can do not to topple forwards and add what would effectively be a double-arm DDT into the mix as well.

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

Brian Warner bends down to check on Danny's condition, but the big man's response is muffled yet emphatic. Toxxic grins; Danny Williams passed out in the original Repeat To Fade, and this is the upgraded version…

 

…but Danny has other ideas.

 

"Look at Danny!" Mak shouts, as Williams lets out a roar and his entire body tenses. For a moment it seems as if nothing's happening… but then his arms start to creep downwards. Toxxic's face changes from delight to horror as he realises what's happening and he tries to reassert his grip, but Williams' force is overwhelming and his clasped hands are torn apart!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Before Toxxic can recover Danny wraps his newly-freed arms around his opponent's waist, then charges forward with only one destination in mind-

 

*WHAM!*

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"Danny Williams just powered out of the RTF II, then mashed Toxxic against the turnbuckles!" Mak Francis yells in amazement as Toxxic slumps against the pads while Williams backs off, trying to massage some life back into his arms and loosen up his neck, "I've never seen anyone break that hold with sheer brute strength before!"

 

"Roids damnit, roids!" the Gambling Man responds hotly.

 

Williams seems to be satisfied with the way his arms respond to him now and he abruptly charges forwards again, seeking to plaster Toxxic against the turnbuckles for a second time, but the second or two of delay was enough and Stephens dodges aside at the last moment causing Danny to hit the buckles chest first!

 

*BANG!*

 

Williams staggers back, coughing… and suddenly Toxxic runs past him, reaching up to grab a ¾ facelock before stepping up off the first buckle, the second, the third and backflipping overhead…

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

…but Williams holds onto the top rope to save himself, and instead of being dragged down into the Sunny In England he simply suffers a wrenched neck, while Toxxic lands on his front and has the breath blown out of his lungs for the second time in ten seconds!

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

Nevertheless Toxxic is a stubborn bastard, and he also doesn't fancy being down on the mat for too long in case Danny decides he isn't above a few kicks to a prone opponent, so the Straight-Edge Sensation scrambles back up to his feet as fast as the lack of oxygen in his body will allow. He manages it just in time for Danny to leave off holding his neck and Deathwish takes a step towards his opponent, twists around and lashes out with a venomous rolling elbow…

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAoooooooohhhhhhhh…"

 

…that misses as Toxxic ducks! Williams staggers a couple of steps through his own momentum, turns around to try and find his opponent and Toxxic leaps upwards with an enzuigiri…

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

…that also misses as Danny ducks in turn! Toxxic manages to land on his feet, turns-

 

*KER-RRACK!*

 

-and is nearly decapitated by a rolling elbow!

 

"DAN-E! DAN-E! DAN-E! DAN-E!"

 

"Danny Williams finally hits the Rolling Elbow!" Mak shouts, as Williams comes to a halt shaking his right arm out while Toxxic hits the mat bonelessly, "that could do it right there!" Williams certainly hopes so; he drops to make the cover and Brian Warner follows him down to count…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-

-but Toxxic kicks out!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"Not this time!" Mak shouts, "but Toxxic's got to be nearly done for after that!"

 

"Don't you believe it Francis!" King shouts back, "there's still fight in the Straight-Edge Sensation!"

 

Danny doesn't care; he grabs Toxxic by the head, drags him up into a standing headscissors and reaches down to wrap his arms around his opponent's torso. Whatever the work done on his right arm, Williams knows he can lift this bastard and he does so without any stalling…

 

*BANG!!*

 

…then drives him down with a powerbomb! He follows up with the cover almost immediately-

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"THAT WAS THREE!"

 

"THAT WAS THREE!"

 

"Danny Williams was certain he had Toxxic that time," Mak Francis shouts over the crowd noise, "and so was I, but Brian Warner is adamant!"

 

"STAAAAAAAAAAAAAND AND DELIVAH~!"

 

"Adamant, you moron!" Mak yells in frustration as King, overcome with relief, breaks into impromptu song.

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

The Australian fans are rallying behind Deathwish again and the big Kentucky native wants to end this as soon as possible. He drags the wobbly Toxxic up, latches on to Stephens' right wrist with his left hand and takes a step back to fully extend both their arms, then wrenches Toxxic in towards him while bringing his right arm around for a short-arm Axe Bomber that will surely seal the deal…

 

…but Toxxic ducks, wrapping Danny's arm around his own body, then rolls and throws his left arm up between Danny's legs to bring the big man over into a schoolboy pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

Williams struggles to free himself…

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

…but now it's Toxxic grabbing his wrist, holding Deathwish in what's virtually a half-straight-jacket…

 

 

 

 

TH-

-but Danny kicks out!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"Damn it Warner, that was three!" King seethes as Toxxic relives Danny Williams' frustration from a few moments ago (albeit with a rather less clear head). Danny is slightly disorientated from the surprise pin and starts to push himself up, giving the woozy Toxxic the opening he needs; he scrambles forwards and grabs a front facelock, then drives Danny's head into his knee with a facebuster before falling backwards into a DDT!

 

*CRUNCH-WHAM!*

 

"Sobering Thought!" Mak shouts and names the old move combination, "we haven't seen that in a couple of years!"

 

Toxxic is more or less running on automatic now, but he's still aware of the need to press home this sudden advantage and prevent Danny Williams from regaining any momentum. The moment Danny starts trying to rise Stephens jumps on him and grabs both arms in a double-underhook before hauling Williams up; he doesn't give him a chance to power out this time, instead hauling him into a standing headscissors and wrenching him UP…

 

…AROUND…

 

…AND…

 

…DOWN!

 

*BANG!*

 

"Stephens Shock Syndrome!" Mak shouts, "Danny's so heavy he could only get about a quarter-rotation on it, but that might do the trick!"

 

Sure enough Toxxic didn't get the height or the spin that he wanted, but rolls Williams onto his back nonetheless and makes the cover…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRR-

-but Danny kicks out again!

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

"POMM-IE FAG-GOT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

 

The fans still don't seem to be getting under Toxxic's skin, although now it might be more because he can't hear them; the Straight-Edge Sensation takes half a second to answer Brian Warner's two-fingered gesture with a rather less pleasant one, then staggers to his feet and heads for the turnbuckles.

 

"We haven't seen Toxxic go up top too many times this match," Mak Francis says, "in fact I think this is the first time… that might seem surprising, but don't forget that Danny countered a missile dropkick with the Axe Bomber in their last meeting for the win, so maybe Toxxic didn't want to risk it unless he had to!"

 

It certainly seems that Toxxic feels he has to now. The Straight-Edge Sensation's trip to the top rope is not as quick or as fluid as often seen, but after a couple of seconds of wincing and clambering he stands on the top buckle facing down into the ring. He raises both arms above his head…

 

…and somersaults off forwards, coming down with the Hangover for the second time this match!

 

*WHAM!*

 

"Nailed it!" King shouts, "cover him! Cover him!"

 

Toxxic does just that and crawls into position, hooking one of Williams' thick legs as he does so…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

-but Danny kicks out again!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS!" King screams, "Warner, are you blind or just retarded!?"

 

"It was TWO!" Mak Francis shouts back, "like it or not Brian, it was TWO!"

 

The Acer Arena has gone wild, the cheers of the crowd nearly blowing the roof off. Toxxic looks as Brian Warner with exasperation and no little dislike, then grabs hold of Williams' hair. He ignores the referee's complaints and begins to haul on it, figuring that it's probably the easiest way to bring Danny up to his feet.

 

"Even if it was two, and that's not an admission," Suicide King snarls, "look at Williams! He's done in! It won't take much for Toxxic to finish him off now!"

 

"How much do you think Toxxic has left?" Mak asks, "he's exhausted!"

 

Appearances can be deceiving. Toxxic is in pain certainly, but his cardio is one of the best around. He might not be able to take too many more hits, but he's still got the energy to grab Danny in a ¾ headlock and set off towards the turnbuckles…

 

…but Danny shoves the Englishman in the back, cutting off the attempt at the Sunny In England! Toxxic kills his momentum, turns back towards his opponent as Danny starts spinning…

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh…"

 

…but the rolling elbow misses! Danny stops his momentum in turn and swings around to try and catch his opponent, but he's just that bit slower…

 

…and he finds himself taken off his feet in a Fireman's carry.

 

"What the hell?" Mak Francis asks, "what's Toxxic doi-"

 

One arm snakes around Danny Williams' head. The other curls around his left leg. Then Toxxic shrugs his shoulders and twists, spilling Williams off and sending him down headfirst towards the mat.

 

"-ng?"

 

*BAM!*

 

"CAFFEINE BOMB MK II!" King roars as Danny Williams lands and Toxxic just manages to maintain the pinning cradle. Brian Warner dives to count…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

When Toxxic brings the Caffeine Bomb to the table, it's usually over.

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

Only two people have ever kicked out.

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Make that three people.

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"NO! NO! Williams kicked out!" Mak Francis yells as Suicide King suffers a coughing fit beside him, "I think that in initiating the move from the Fireman's carry Toxxic lost a bit of the angle of the drop, it wasn't as clean as when he starts it from a suplex position! Either that, or Danny Williams is just one tough motherfucker, and I'll apologise for my language when this match is over!"

 

"You're shitting me!" King screams, finding his breath, "how was that not three? How!?"

 

It's a question Toxxic seems to be asking as well. Brian Warner can only exchange a shocked look with the Straight-Edge Sensation, but he's certain that Williams got his shoulder off the mat before his hand touched the canvas for the third time. Toxxic's eyes narrow and the Englishman starts trying to haul Williams up, then gives up after a few seconds and backs away, motioning Warner to stay well out of the way as well. Then, with Danny starting to try and push himself up to his feet, Toxxic stands up straight…

 

…and mimes cracking open a can.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"If he hits a second Caffeine Bomb you can say goodnight to Danny Williams," Mak Francis exclaims, "I just wonder if Deathwish has anything left to stop him!"

 

Danny, possibly concussed and certainly not too sure about where he is, starts to struggle up. It takes him several seconds, but he makes it, facing away from his opponent. Behind him, Toxxic mimes taking a couple of large, healthy swigs from his can…

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

The fans aren't even firing off inventive abuse now, such is the tension in the air. Danny turns around…

 

…and gets taken up into another Fireman's carry.

 

Wash, rinse, repeat.

 

*BAM!*

 

"That's it!" King shouts, "it's over!"

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

"…YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

It takes half a second for to sink in to the crowd that they haven't just seen the winning pinfall, but when it does they respond with a roar nearly loud enough to be heard back in Auckland!

 

"What the fuck!?" King yells, fortunately barely audible over the din.

 

"He kicked out! Danny Williams still kicked out!" Mak Francis yells.

 

Toxxic has never, ever hit a referee. More because it's against the rules that he will never break than because he's a good, decent human being, but it's still true. However, never has he been pushed closer to doing it than right now. Brian Warner knows it too, and flinches back from the black-rimmed glower that spears him as Toxxic looks up from his failed pin… but the referee still holds up the damning two fingers to signal that Danny Williams is still in this match.

 

"King, I'm not sure where Toxxic's going to go from here," Mak Francis admits, his voice slightly hoarse with emotion. "Has he got enough left to go up top? I don't know what else he can hit Danny with, I don't know what else he can lift him up for!"

 

"Where he's going from here?" King asks, "I'll tell you where he's going to go from here…"

 

Toxxic rolls out of the ring.

 

"…um… somewhere else?"

 

'ONE!' Brian Warner shouts, confused as hell as to why Toxxic would be leaving the ring now, but not about to shirk his refereeing duties.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

Toxxic leans on the ring apron and walks along the side of the squared circle until he reaches the corner. Then he takes hold of the top part of the steel ring steps, slides his hands into the waiting gaps and wrenches. He's not quite prepared for the weight and staggers slightly, but then hoists the steps upwards and gets them, not without some effort, to rest on the bottom ring rope.

 

'TWO!'

 

"King, what the hell is Toxxic doing?" Mak Francis asks. "It's not like he can even lift those steps very well, and even if he could, what's he planning here? To hit Danny with them and lose the match by disqualification after all that hard work?"

 

"I have no idea Francis," King admits, "but I have faith."

 

'THREE!' Brian Warner shouts, then bends down to warn Toxxic against bringing the steps into the ring. Toxxic ignores him and manages to squeeze them between the bottom and middle ropes, then pushes to send the steel construction clattering in and causing Warner to dance backwards. Toxxic follows the steps in and gets back up to his feet, then heads for Williams.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

Danny is only just starting to stir after that last instinctive kickout. Toxxic grabs him by his hair and starts to pull, oblivious of the warnings from the referee; he's not doing it to hurt the man, he just wants him to get up. Slowly, very slowly, Danny Williams starts to rise back towards a vertical base. As he gets there Toxxic ducks his head and starts to take Williams onto his shoulders…

 

"He's going to drop Danny onto the steps!" Mak shouts, inspiration suddenly dawning, "King, is that legal? Does it count as using a weapon if he's not moving the foreign object?"

 

"I'd be prepared to argue his case in a court of law!" the Gambling Man shoots back.

 

However, Mak Francis may have been premature. Toxxic tries for another Fireman's carry, but Danny Williams has other ideas. He may have been dropped on his head a couple of times but Deathwish has also had a few more seconds to recover than before, and his instincts kick in. So he fires elbows down into Toxxic's back once, twice, three times. And his right arm may be hurting from all the blows it's struck and the damage it's taken in the match, but it's still good enough to bring Toxxic's attempts to a halt. Try as he might, the Englishman can't help but set Danny back down and stumble backwards holding his back…

 

…and Williams turns, then runs for the ropes. He hits, rebounds and accelerates…

 

…and this time, Toxxic has no response.

 

*WHAM!*

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"AXE BOMBAAAAAAHHHHHHHH~!" Mak Francis yells at the top of his deteriorating lungs, "HE HIT IT! DANNY HIT IT!"

 

Danny Williams falls to his knees, then topples forwards onto his front.

 

"YES!" King shouts almost in desperation, "he's down! He can't make the cover!"

 

For a few seconds both men just lie on the mat as Brian Warner looks down at them and starts considering if he'll survive the riot that will ensue from a double count-out. Thankfully Danny Williams seems to be saving him from the decision.

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

"LET'S GO DAN-E!"

 

The Louisville Elbower starts to struggle up, but his right arm doesn't seem to take his weight as well as his left. He winces and instinctively grabs at it as he starts to get up to his knees - that last shot to Toxxic's face has done it no favours. He spends one potentially crucial second holding it, then shuffles around to look for his opponent. He overran Toxxic; the Englishman is sprawled on the mat a few feet behind him. Danny, still on his knees, crosses the distance as best he can and drops into the cover to sprawl one heavy arm across Toxxic's chest…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"YES! YES-YES-YES-YES-YES!!" King roars, "he kicked out! D'you hear me, Francis! Toxxic kicked out! He kicked out of the Axe Bomber!"

 

"He kicked out of the Axe Bomber, with about a ten-second delay!" Mak Francis answers, struggling for rationalisation, "at least! Danny had taken two Caffeine Bombs, he'd hurt his arm, he couldn't get into the cover quick enough… ah screw it, what the fuck is going on here!?"

 

Brian Warner must be wondering where the number three went tonight. Danny Williams seems to be wondering the same thing. Referee and wrestler just stare at each other in disbelief.

 

"King, I don't think anyone has ever kicked out of the Axe Bomber before," Mak Francis says tightly, "I could be wrong… and I'm pretty sure Danny's never had to wait that long until he could make a pin before…"

 

"Mak, if Toxxic wasn't straight-edge I'd want him tested for PCP or something," King answers, "as it is, I think Danny must be on it anyway! No-one kicks out of two Caffeine Bombs! Toxxic's never had to use two Caffeine Bombs before!"

 

Williams staggers up to his feet, then reaches down and starts to drag Toxxic up after him. The first time he tries the Straight-Edge Sensation simply slumps back down to the mat; the second time and Toxxic seems to get the idea, starts to support his own bodyweight and makes a vague attempt to rise. Whether he knows who's helping him up, and why, is anybody's guess, but that doesn't matter now.

 

What matters is that Danny Williams is backing off… and this time he tears the elbow pad off, then hurls it into the crowd.

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

No more mistakes.

 

"FUCK HIM UP DAN-NY, FUCK HIM UP!"

 

Toxxic manages to stand on two feet, on legs that seem to be made of jelly. He sways.

 

"FUCK HIM UP DAN-NY, FUCK HIM UP!"

 

He turns.

 

"FUCK HIM UP DAN-NY, FUCK HIM UP!"

 

Danny Williams charges and lashes out with everything he has, looking to knock Toxxic down and keep him down.

 

"FUCK HIM UP DAN-NY…"

 

But Toxxic isn't as tough as Danny. He's never had the luxury of being able to soak up the opponent's most devastating moves time after time. Toxxic, Michael Stephens; the name doesn't matter. Even in the depths of his anger-charged soul, he knows his limitations.

 

"…FUCK HIM UP!"

 

He can't afford to let lightning strike twice.

 

*CRACK!*

 

'AARRGH!'

 

Danny Williams pinwheels away, clutching his arm where it struck both of Toxxic's forearms, raised at the last moment to deflect the blow. The force of impact knocked Toxxic off his feet again, but the straight-edger sees Williams hurt and the sight acts like a final jolt of adrenaline. He half-surges, half-staggers up to his feet, running on empty but ready for one last throw of the dice as Danny's circling brings him back around…

 

…and Toxxic bends his legs slightly, then takes Danny up onto his shoulders. For a moment it looks like he won't be able to take the weight, but then he straightens.

 

He turns.

 

And he walks towards the ring steps that he brought into the squared circle earlier.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

Brian Warner tries to get in the way, but Toxxic isn't stopping so he gets out of the way again. After all, he can just DQ the man if he tries anything.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

Toxxic reaches the steel steps and stands over them… then places one foot on the first step. And steps up.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"King, he's not going to drop Danny onto them…" Mak gasps in horror.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

One foot goes onto the second step. And Toxxic steps up.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

This time, Toxxic's legs do start to go. But that doesn't matter anymore. All he has to do is stagger forwards and swing Danny Williams off his shoulders one more time…

 

*BAM!!*

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"CAFFEINE BOMB MK II OFF THE STEPS!" Mak screeches. Brian Warner dives to count the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A sheer drop from this height worked for Va'aiga.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A sheer drop from this height worked for Janus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

'THREE! RING THE FUCKING BELL!'

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

A sheer drop from this height has worked for Toxxic.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE IS YOUR WINNER," Funyon booms, trying to make himself heard, "THE 'STRAIGHT-EDGE SENSATION', TOXXXXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!"

 

"IT'S OVER!" 'The Franchise' Mak Francis yells, "it's finally over! We must have thought this match had been won half a dozen times at least, but it's over now! Danny Williams went through hell and back, he did things that I never even thought were possible, but in the end it still wasn't enough! It came down to one last gamble, one last throw of the dice, and Toxxic came out luckier in the end!"

 

"Are you a gambling man Francis!?" the Suicide King whoops, "don't you know that a King beats a Jackass!? You know what we've seen here today? Justice! Toxxic has proved once and for all that Danny Williams is not on his level!"

 

"How can you say that!?" Francis rages, "Toxxic had to work harder than he ever has before to beat Danny here tonight! Toxxic's pulled out the Caffeine Bomb twice in the last six months, he had to use three against Danny in one match! This was the closest damn match I've seen in years!"

 

Brian Warner reaches down and takes hold of Toxxic's right hand, then raises it; the man himself fell backwards the moment the pinning cradle of the Caffeine Bomb was no longer required, but the familiar motion seems to spark a couple of neurones into life and the Straight-Edge Sensation starts to struggle up towards his feet.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"I don't know what this will do for the World Title picture," Mak Francis says as Warner bends down to check on Danny Williams, "I think it's safe to say that Toxxic will be arguing to get thrown back into it after this win… but depending on what happens later tonight, if Flesher gives up on his 'phasing out' campaign Stephens might end up facing his own tag team partner!"

 

"You honestly think Maddix has a hope of unseating Drake?" King scoffs, "Mak, you need to stop putting hallucinogens in your coffee!"

 

"Oh, it can happen," Mak Francis replies while Brian Warner is apparently satisfied with Danny Williams' condition, "but just think what else could happen from here! Toxxic vs. Landon, Toxxic vs. Drake rematch… I for one would like to see Danny vs. Drake, I think those two monsters could put on a real show!"

 

Toxxic staggers to the ropes, then simply drops back to the mat and rolls under them out to the floor. The fans nearby aren't going to cut the Englishman any slack, but Toxxic doesn't care. He expends a little bit of what energy he has left to flip them a v-sign, more through mischievousness than genuine annoyance, then starts to make his way unsteadily up the ramp.

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"TOXX-IC SUCKS!"

 

"Fans, we still have two title matches to come," Mak Francis says as Danny Williams starts to stir with some sort of purpose on the canvas, "the Ladder Match for the World Title between 'The Beast' Gabriel Drake and Landon 'La Cucaracha' Maddix, but first we have the International Title match between Johnny Dangerous and the defending champion, Alan Clark!"

 

The last shot before we leave to a video package for Dangerous vs. Clark is Toxxic slowly walking up the ramp. He might have had to pull out every last trick he had, he might have taken the beating of his life, and he might have been a hair's breadth away from complete and total failure…

 

…but he still won. And tonight, against this opponent, that is all that matters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

FADE OUT

[Ace309 0]

Ding Ding Ding!

 

“It’s time for our second Champion vs. Champion match of the night!” yells out the Franchise as the hard camera zooms to Funyon and referee Nick Soapdish standing at the ready in the ring, “but only one is on the line for this match!”

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL and is for the S-W-F International Championship!!”

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

“The crowd is ready, King, but are the two competitors? It’s time to find out!”

 

“I hate to say this, but I’d rather be watching Insane Luchador…” remarks the Suicide King as the Mission Impossible theme suddenly starts to play, drawing the fans attention to the ramp way just as Johnny Dangerous, tag team championship around his waist, appears through the curtain.

 

“Well regardless of what might be going on backstage, all eyes for the moment are on this man and his opponent for tonight, and you have to know Johnny Dangerous is going into this match feeling good about himself.”

 

“JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY!”

 

“What on Earth is there to feel good about? He won the tag team titles off of two heavily distracted opponents! A (bleep)ing monkey could have beaten Toxxic and Maddix with Gabriel Drake and Danny Williams in their future!”

 

“Introducing first, making his way down the aisle…from Las Vegas, Nevada…he weighs in at two hundred twenty five pounds and is one-half of the NEW S-W-F World Tag Team Champions… he is The Barracuda…JOHNNY DANGEROOOOOUS!”

 

“JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY!”

 

Johnny Dangerous acknowledges the crowd support with his trademark smile as he pulls the belt from his waist and holds it high into the air, causing another loud roar just before he reaches the ring. After taking one more look around the arena, Johnny pulls off his glasses and hands them, and his belt, off to a waiting ringside attendant before sliding under the ropes and into the ring. His music fades away as he stands and brushes himself off, only for a --- familiar --- theme song to blare out from the rafters of the Acer Arena…

 

Here we are, born to be kings,

We’re the princes of the universe…

 

“What the (bleep)? It can’t be!” yells the Suicide King at the voice of Freddie Mercury cries out, but it is not the Magnificent Seven that skips out from behind the curtain on this night.

 

 

…well, not really.

 

“Look!” The crowd, and Johnny, stares in stunned confusion as Fleshy, Chrissy, Chilly, Bangy, Judgy, Fasaky, and Dan all prance out into the spotlight.

 

“The Magnificent Seven Dwarves!” Mak Francis almost sprays PepsiMAX onto his half of the announcer’s table as the septet dances and frolics at the top of the ramp, their music suddenly replaced by “Someday My Prince Will Come”, drawing their attention to the curtain as Walter Reynolds, Alan Clark, and Snow White walk out to join them.

 

…and Snow White?

 

“And introducing his opponent, being accompanied by Walter Reynolds, Snow White, and the Magnificent Seven Dwarves…representing Tokyo Disneyland and weighing in at two hundred twenty five pounds….he is the S-W-F INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION – The Happiest Guy On Earth… ALAAAAAAAN CLAAAAAARK!”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

The crowd, even though amused by the bizarre group making their way ringside, still gives Alan an earful as he walks next to Snow White, who proudly holds the International Championship in her grasp for all the world to see. It takes quite a prince to make a princess into a belt girl. Tom Flesher might hate Alan’s guts, but it has to make him proud.

 

“Danny Williams is in the building, Tom Flesher is in the building, Frost, TNT, Justice & Rule…you know they are all probably watching this…Chris Wilson is probably on some island somewhere plotting on how to kidnap and kill Johnny Dangerous for unknown reasons that will invariably backfire on him and his henchmen...” The Suicide King appears to be rambling for no discernable reason as Alan Clark hits the ring, taking his belt from Snow White as Walter does his best to play traffic cop and move the group to a safe place at ringside.

 

“And it appears, King, that their tiny counterparts are going to stick around and watch the match.” Even Nick Soapdish and Funyon share a look with each other as the ring announcing hoss exits the ring, leaving Nick in the middle of the one ring circus. After making sure both men, and everyone watching, knows what’s at stake by holding the title high in the air, he gives the entourage on the outside a few words of warning and calls for the bell to get the match underway…

 

Ding Ding Ding!!

 

“The bell is gone and now we see if Johnny Dangerous can take back what Akira Kaibatsu took from him so many months ago. He never got a rematch, and even though it’s now Alan Clark that holds the title, Tom Flesher liked the idea of giving the match to the man that helped take down Michael Stephens just a week ago on Storm.” Francis talks over the scene as Johnny and Alan begin to circle each other, neither man having faced each other in almost three years. “Alan Clark has never defeated Johnny Dangerous one-on-one or in any other situation, so he’ll really need to be on his game tonight!”

 

“Is he ever?” mumbles the Suicide King as the two men finally move in for a tie-up, both men lacing their arms together and meeting eye to eye in the center of the ring. If either of them are saying anything, the only person that can hear it is their opponent.

 

SMACK!

 

SMACK!

 

“WOAH! Alan Clark must have said the wrong thing!” The crowd also gasps as Johnny drops away from the tie-up and fires off two quick palm-strikes, the second of which almost denting in the jaw of Alan Clark. The International Champ throws his hands in front of his face and might just have a hint of regret about whatever it was he said, but the Barracuda is on the attack. “Clothesline! DUCKED!”

 

“Oomph!!” The wind is suddenly pushed from the lungs of the secret agent as Alan spins away from the clothesline attempt and brings his right foot up and into Dangerous’ midsection. Stunned, Johnny can not jump on the defensive fast enough…

 

CHOP!

 

CHOP!

 

CRACK!!

 

“Ooooooooooo!” even Walter Reynolds, Snow White, and the Dwarves (minus Dan) react as Johnny recoils from the second shot with a 360 spin, throwing his right fist up and into temple of Clark, snapping his neck to the side and sending him reeling, both hands going to his neck as Johnny pulls his shirt from his chest and throws it to the crowd (much to their enjoyment) before drilling Clark in the back with a hard double axe handle!

 

“Clark is a moron if he thinks he can match up strikes against anybody with a martial arts background…” remarks the Suicide King, giving a rare bit of praise to the Barracuda as Alan Clark falls forward and chest-first into the second rope, his body hanging limp as Johnny hits the ropes on the opposite side of the ring and comes back in with a tremendous burst of speed, sending his knee into Alan’s back and putting him down on the canvas! Dangerous follows him down and makes a quick cover…

 

One!

 

 

Tw—

 

“First attempt of the evening by Johnny Dangerous and Alan Clark is easily able to kick out, getting his hand on the bottom rope…”

 

“And now he’s running!” calls King as Alan slides himself to the outside and motions for his entourage to clear out, his head coming up and turning back to the ring just in time to see the boots of the secret agent heading straight toward him…

 

“Baseball slide ducked by Alan Clark but Johnny lands on his feet --- and ducks a clothesline!”

 

SMACK!

 

“And look at the Disney sponsored spit fly!” a classy line from the King of Hearts as Johnny lands another hard palm strike, putting Alan in a daze as the referee begins his count on the inside…

 

…1…

 

…but Johnny Dangerous has other plans as he motions for everyone to get out of his way with his right hand as he pulls Alan into his grasp with his left, hooking in a front facelock and quickly pulling his body up and over and straight back down to the floor with a hard suplex!!

 

…2…

 

“What a vicious suplex by Dangerous! It’s that kind of offense that can take it out of a man like Alan Clark that is known for how much punishment he is able to take, especially at an event like From The Fire!”

 

“I have been sick and tired of him running his mouth about how this is his show and blah blah blah blah blah…and that idiot is still smiling!” the SWF steady cam does indeed show a bit of a lopsided smile on Alan Clark’s face as Johnny stands to his feet and pushes the cameraman out of the way, the sound of a moan escaping Alan’s lips can be heard as the camera angle changes to the adjacent corner…

 

…3…

 

…where it looks like Johnny Dangerous is aiming to put Alan Clark!!

 

“Irish whip…REVERSED!”

 

CLAAANG!!

 

“Johnny Dangerous tried to put Alan Clark into the steel steps but got it turned around on him! Both men are down now but for the moment at least Clark is on his knees!”

 

…4…

 

“Can he even do that?” the Suicide King questions the whip as the replay box appears on screen, showing the body of Johnny Dangerous bounce off the steel as much as a human body can.

 

“It was a reversal, plain and simple. He was acting in self-defense! At least, that’s what I’m sure he’ll claim if Disney comes asking questions.” Even the Franchise has to be realistic as to the motives of the Happiest Guy On Earth, who has made it to his feet and makes a move toward Johnny Dangerous, the newly christened tag champion slowly coming back to his wits on the floor.

 

…5…

 

Alan pulls Johnny up, who almost by instinct simply pushes his hands forward and falls back to his knees, the hard shove pushing Clark backwards, tripping him over his own two feet and sending him rolling in a somersault and onto his face on the mat.

 

…6…

 

“Well, that was simple but effective, I guess.”

 

“But look, King!” cries Mak as Judgy and Fasaky leap over their fallen prince and put up their dukes to the kneeling secret agent, who can only smile and look to the crowd and then to the referee as if to ask ‘is this for real?’

 

“Justice and Rule, the greatest tag team ever, are about to showcase their dominance!” exclaims the King in mock excitement, only for Walter Reynolds to grab the pint-sized duo by the back of their shirts and lift them into the air with ease before moving them around to the other side of the ring with their partners.

 

“Get ‘em out! All of ‘em!” yells Soapdish from the ring, causing a cheer from the few fans that can hear the call. The Magnificent Seven Dwarves react in a more grumpy than happy way as Snow White leads them toward the back.

 

“Heigh ho, Heigh ho, it’s off to the locker room they go!” calls the Suicide King as Soapdish turns back around in time to see Alan Clark and Johnny Dangerous both sliding under the bottom ropes and into the ring, but Alan is up first and catches the Barracuda with a boot to the side of the head, possibly handing over a little payback for the fist from earlier.

 

“We almost had a little bit of a problem out here thanks to Alan Clark’s antics, but now everything seems to be under control…”

 

“Ha! A little problem!”

 

“…King…” grumbles Francis as Alan does his best to stay on top of the challenger, hooking in a facelock of his own near the ropes. “Suplex, coming up!” but as Clark lifts Dangerous into the air, he does what his Wayward tag partner would have done, dropping Johnny down mid-section first into the top rope, giving the Barracuda some extra bounce before slamming him over and down into the mat!!

 

“Coy West Special! Slingshot Suplex from Alan Clark and into a cover!”

 

One!

 

Two!

 

NO!!

 

“Alan floated into that small package but Johnny was just able to beat the three count!” With Clark standing to his feet, Johnny Dangerous rolls toward the ropes and uses them as a makeshift ladder to pull his body up, the crash into the steel stairs taking a little more out of him than he first thought.

 

“Dangermouse should get on his shoe phone and in touch with Penfold, because he’s in a pretty bad way right now.” Francis can only stare at his partner as Alan Clark positions himself behind the standing Dangerous, the right hand of the tag team champion still clasped around the top rope as Clark leaps into the air and tries to connect with a bulldog…

 

Thud!

 

…but slips right past thanks to that same right hand, keeping Johnny elevated and leaving Alan to crash and burn to the canvas!

 

“Alan looked to be getting ready for a Walk In The Park, but Johnny Dangerous caught a lucky break with that top rope! A few more seconds and he would have been the one down on the mat instead of the International Champion!” but before said champion can regain his wits, the Barracuda laces into him with a series of stomps, the last catching Alan in the temple once again and sending him into a daze as he rolls to his hands and knees.

 

“JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY!”

 

The sold-out crowd gets behind their favorite secret agent as he takes control, dragging Clark up to his feet and hooking him into a facelock…

 

“Dangerous with a slingshot?” questions the Franchise as Johnny looks to be in position to give Clark a taste of his own medicine, but as the Barracuda lifts Alan into the air he does not drop him forward to the ropes, but straight down, twisting the Happiest Guy On Earth’s body and driving him into his knee back-first!

 

“More like a spinal tap, Mak! That’s a face only a mother could love right there!” adds the King as the steady cam catches a close-up of Alan’s pain-contorted face, only for Johnny to push him back down to the mat and cover with a lateral press!

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

Thr—KICKOUT!

 

“Alan Clark almost didn’t answer the three count! We could have seen a new champion right there!”

 

“JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY!”

 

Dangerous stands, acknowledging the arena’s chants as Soapdish looks over Clark, the International Champion shoving the referee’s hands away before rolling to the middle of the ring.

 

“I doubt that moron even knows where he is right now!” exclaims the King as Alan’s body is stopped in mid-roll by the heels of Johnny Dangerous, the Barracuda had been taking a moment to stretch the pain from his spine before almost being knocked off his feet. A hard stomp to the face later, though, and it would be a good guess that Alan Clark does, in fact, know exactly where he is.

 

“He knows he’s in the ring with Johnny Dangerous, and after what we saw last week we know that sometimes that is not the safest place to be!” but chokeslams and tag team titles aside, Johnny Dangerous’ eyes now looked to be fully concentrated on his opponent in the ring, who has tried to sit up and get away from the vicious stomps, only to suddenly find a knee being buried into his back! Dangerous pushes hard with his right knee and keeps the champion grounded with a chinlock, the harder he pulls back the more Alan’s body begins to flail against the hold, his arms moving in every direction as he searches for a way out.

 

“The SWF ain’t the happiest place on earth, Francis, even with those dwarves running around. Clark makes me sick.”

 

“You best just be glad he didn’t have Cirque de Soleil as the Midnight Carnival.” Francis rebuts, garnering a stare from the King of Hearts as, in the ring, Johnny finally breaks the hold and hits his feet running, leaving his opponent seated and groggy as he hits the ropes and rushes back in, an almost mid-ring baseball slide connecting with Clark’s lower back, the shot eliciting a yelp of pain from the International Champion before Johnny once again crawls atop for a pinfall attempt…

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

Thre—NO!!

 

“Alan Clark barely gets the shoulder up, but that does not seem to have slowed Johnny Dangerous down one bit!”

 

“I don’t care who you are in this business, when a title is on the line you do whatever it takes to win.”

 

“And you would know that better than anyone wouldn’t you King?” Mak’s response comes just as Johnny Dangerous lifts Alan off his feet and slams him back down with a hard suplex, focusing all of his attention on Clark’s lower back as he rotates his body around and back to his knees. Alan reluctantly follows along, being pulled around at the moment like a ragdoll in the secret agent’s hands as Johnny lifts back up and repeats the sequence, the second suplex connecting with more of a hard snap than a slow stalling thud.

 

“JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY!”

 

The crowd’s chants build once again as the Barracuda pulls Alan up to his feet and looks for the third suplex, only for Clark to shoot his leg in between to block. Dangerous releases the hold on Alan’s princely tights and slams his forearm across his back before trying again, but once more Alan is able to throw his leg in for a block…

 

 

THUD!

 

 

…and slam him over with a beautiful counter!

 

“Northern Lights Suplex out of nowhere and Clark with the bridge!”

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

“Kickout! Alan couldn’t hold that bridge the way he wanted to! His back has got to be hurting!” and sure enough, signs are visible on Clark’s face, a few winces can be seen even as he gives his best trademark sly grin to try and block it out. The suplex looks to have taken the wind out of the Barracuda, though, leaving both men to reach their feet at nearly the same time.

 

“If he hurts it enough we might never have to see him wrestle again!” adds the King as both men notice the other at nearly the same millisecond, the duo locking eyes and lunging toward each other…

 

“Johnny with a clothesline! Ducked!” Johnny twirls from the whiff until he feels weight against his back, the Happiest Guy On Earth wrapping his hands around his body and lifting him into the air. “Backlot Suplex! Backlot Suplex!” Alan fights through the pain, but Johnny isn’t about to get compressed like an accordion, as his left arm wraps around Clark’s head and his right arm comes across, dealing the champion some hard blows to the head and face that send Alan stumbling forward.

 

“He’s going to dump him over the top!!” yells the Suicide King, but Johnny senses the danger and puts his feet down, his soles hitting the top rope and rebounding back, only for Alan to simply hold on for dear life and stay in position, driving Dangerous down almost onto the top of his head in the middle of the ring!!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“HOLY (bleep)! HOLY (bleep)!”

 

“I think I would have rather been dumped over the top! Johnny Dangerous did what he could to escape that suplex, but in the end took it worse than he probably would have to start with and now both men are down!” The crowd looks on as Soapdish begins his count, neither man doing much of anything at his feet.

 

“One!”

 

“JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY!”

 

“Two!”

 

“This crowd wants to see Johnny Dangerous win the International Title, but neither he nor Alan Clark has so much as moved since collapsing a few moment ago.”

 

“Three!”

Alan Clark is the first man to move, having luckily not been dropped on his head, but as he begins to stir a few feet away from his opponent, the crowd immediately turns their attention to him.

 

“AL-AN SUCKS! AL-AN SUCKS!”

 

“Four!”

 

“At least he’s moving, people!” the King yells over the noise as the steady cam catches Walter looking on from the outside, a bit of concern on his face as Alan finally is able to get to his knees and start the crawl toward Johnny, the tag champ laying face down in the same spot he landed.

 

“Alan is moving, and it seems he’s looking for a cover!”

 

“Fi—“ but Soapdish’s count is cut off as Clark rolls Dangerous over and throws himself on top, not even grabbing a leg as he tries for the victory…

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

Three!!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“Johnny Dangerous kicked out! And look at how close he was to defeat!” Alan rolls off of Johnny and toward the ropes as the replay shows just how close Nick Soapdish’s hand was to the canvas when Johnny got his shoulder up.

 

“The playing field is leveled off now, back to square one for both men!”

 

“I don’t know how you can say that, King” responds Francis as the two men get to their feet, Clark slightly ahead of his opponent as he tries for a closed fist! “Alan tried to clean Johnny’s clock, but now these two are just trading punches in the middle of the ring!”

 

“JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY!”

 

The crowd is electric even with Soapdish trying to protest the usage of fists, but as Johnny winds up to take Alan’s head off, the sponsored superstar ducks out of the way and jumps into the air, twisting his body and jamming his foot into the back of the secret agent’s neck!

 

“Alan Clark with an enziguri and a quick cover!”

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

“Shoulder Up!” calls Francis as Dangerous kicks out and tries to keep moving, rolling himself up and around to his knees as Alan pops up to his feet, catching the Barracuda by the wrist and tossing him hard toward the ropes… “Alan’s looking for the Illuminator!”

 

Clark sets his body in preparation for Johnny’s rebound and catches him around the waist, but Dangerous slams both his arms down across Alan’s back, stunning him long enough for Johnny to get his own body in position…

 

WHAM!

 

…before lifting Clark up and twisting him back down into the canvas with a beautiful Saito suplex!!

 

“Where’d he pull that out of?!”

 

“A modified uranage from Johnny Dangerous to stave off the offensive streak from Alan Clark and now it’s Johnny with a cover!”

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

NO!!

 

 

Alan gets the shoulder up, only to be almost instantly dragged back up to his feet in the center of the ring. Johnny ducks down, and even with the pain in his neck and back being to mount he is able to lift Clark off his feet and into a fireman’s carry…

 

“Spinal Explosion! Spinal Explosion!”

 

“He’s fighting it, Mak!” interrupts the King as Alan shakes his body back and forth and is finally able to fall behind the Barracuda, who immediately spins his body around like a top and tries to take a swipe at Clark’s head!

 

Whiff!!

 

“Alan Clark was able to get free from the shoulders of Johnny Dangerous and—“

 

WHAM!

 

“—and connect with a big German Suplex out of nowhere!” Not even trying for a bridged pin this time, Alan rolls to his side and lunges for a lateral press and a hook of the far leg…

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

“Alan’s got him!”

 

“NO!! Johnny kicked out!”

 

“JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY!” the sold-out crowd shows their support for Dangerous as rolls to his stomach to keep himself protected against any second-chance attempts. His opponent, however, is getting back up to his feet, his hands switching off at massaging his lower back as he tries to keep a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye, just to let the Aussies know that he does not seem to mind the chants for his opponent or against himself. Clark goes so far as to twirl in a princely fashion before throwing a boot to the back of Johnny’s head just as the secret agent gets to his knees, generating an even larger chorus of boos.

 

“AL-AN SUCKS! AL-AN SUCKS!”

 

“(bleep) YOU, CLARK!” a lone fan is heard loud enough for the censor to jump on the button, but if Alan hears it he ignores it, instead whipping Johnny across the ring and into the corner…

 

 

…and following with his trademarked cartwheel…

 

“Wreck of the Miss Tilly!” Francis calls one of the sillier signature names in Federation history out loud as Alan leaps into the air… “DUCKED! Alan tried to get cocky and paid for it by eating the canvas right there!”

 

“And against someone like Johnny Dangerous that could be a very bad thing! Who does that idiot think he is – ME?”

 

“And if he does, King?”

 

“I’ll kill him!” The Suicide King barks as Johnny shakes his head back and forth to knock out the cobwebs as Alan writhes on the mat, holding his midsection as he rolls to his back, only to suddenly find his right leg being lifted and his body being rolled right back over!!

 

“THE BARRACUDA!”

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

 

“That submission is locked in and all of Johnny Dangerous’ weight is just being pushed down into Alan Clark’s spine!

 

“TAP! TAP! TAP!”

 

“He’s too close to the ropes!” exclaims both commentators as the crowd rallies, but Clark is indeed just a bit too close to side of the ring, and is able to throw his arm out and latch his hand around the bottom rope with fairly little effort. “Johnny isn’t letting go!”

 

“Break it! One…Two…Three…Four…Fi—“ Johnny finally breaks the hold, throwing Alan’s leg down and into the canvas before climbing to the second turnbuckle and throwing his hands up in a quick show of celebration, bringing out more cheers from the crowd as Alan lays on the mat with Soapdish checking him over, only to once again have his help turned down by the Happiest Guy On Earth, no matter how unhappy he may be at the moment.

 

“Dangerous best quit playing to the crowd and concentrate on his opponent!”

 

“—who has done next to nothing since Johnny broke that hold!”

 

“Johnny waited till the five count, again I ask who does he think he is?!”

 

“He is thinking and hoping that he’ll soon be the International Champion!” retorts the Franchise as Johnny drops from his perch and goes back on the attack, quickly dragging Alan back up to his feet and hooking in a front facelock, going back to his earlier game-plan by nonchalantly lifting Clark off his feet and dumping him down with a down and dirty suplex, only to roll his body over with precision and repeat the process, getting just as far as he did before with his series.

 

“The last time he tried this he failed! What is he thinking?”

 

“He’s thinking that Alan Clark is a good bit more wore down and he might be able to put him out for good!”

 

WHAM!

“RAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

“And there’s number three!!” Mak finishes with a flourish and the crowd erupts as Johnny floats over out of the landing and into a cover…

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

Three!!!

 

 

NOOO!!!

 

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

“Alan Clark got his shoulder up! This crowd is in shock and so is Johnny Dangerous!” but the Barracuda does not let his momentary disappointment slow him down, as he motions for Nick Soapdish to back away with one hand as he pulls Alan up with the other, almost holding him up before trying for an irish whip…

 

 

“He’s setting up for something…”

 

“MI SLAM!!”

 

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

“Alan slips free!”

 

 

SMACK!!

 

“SUPERKICK! Johnny went to put the nail in the coffin with the MI Slam but Alan Clark slipped out of his grasp and almost decapitated him with that superkick! He might be OUT!” and Alan Clark hopes he is as he falls atop for a quick pinfall attempt…

 

One!

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

Three!!

 

 

“SHOULDER UP!! Johnny is not going to let that stop him on this night!” But even though the secret agent got out of the pin, he is still slow to get to his feet.

 

“JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY!”

 

“And Clark looks to be on the prowl!” calls the King as Alan keeps his distance behind Dangerous, moving with his hands in the air and ready to strike when he feels the moment is right. “And when have we ever seen Alan do something like that. He’s got Johnny in his sights!”

 

“Alan doesn’t fit any mold that you or I might have fit during our careers,” the comment causes a scoff from the Suicide King, “I don’t care what you say, King, he’s a unique competitor—and HE’S GOT JOHNNY!” Alan finally attacks, hooking his arms around the Barracuda’s and locking in a full nelson! “Johnny’s trying to fight!”

 

“But so is Clark!” and with a loud, almost Beastly, grunt Alan pulls upwards and backwards, throwing Johnny over his head and slamming him back down to the canvas, releasing the hold in mid-toss to drive the Barracuda down straight onto his neck and shoulders!

 

“Malificent Journey! An almost perfect dragon suplex there! You can see the pain building on Alan’s face but he’s on top for a cover!”

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two!!

 

 

 

 

Three!!!

 

 

“He got him!”

 

“NO!!! Johnny got his shoulder up at the last possible second!” the replay follows, showing both the suplex and the count, with Johnny’s shoulder firing off the mat just before the three.

 

“JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY! JOHN-NY!” the crowd rallies, but their favorite secret agent is looking a little worse for the wear and Alan is already up to his feet, keeping his eye on Johnny as he tries to block out the pain throbbing through his body. The pain keeping his opponent on the mat has to be almost the same, though, as Johnny has done very little since popping his arm off the canvas a few moments ago.

 

“Alan Clark is looking like he wants to put this one away right now!” the Franchise exclaims over the chants as Alan pulls Johnny up and into the middle of the ring, hooking his arms behind his back… “The Vacation’s Over for Johnny Danger---NOO! Johnny’s fighting out!”

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAH!”

 

Johnny fights, his arms still pulled behind him as he drops to one knee and pushes up with his back, lifting Clark into the air!

 

“BAAAACKBODY DROP! NO! Alan Clark is hanging on for dear life!” But even in the precarious position Alan slips his right arm free and deadweights down out of harm’s way, wrapping his hand between the Barracuda’s legs before pulling downward with all he can muster, dragging Johnny over backwards and into a roll-up!

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

Three!!!

 

 

NO!!

 

“Alan could have been dropped on the top of his head right there, but was able to slip away and almost stole one out from underneath Johnny Dangerous!” But the Barracuda’s second wind has hit like a tornado, as Johnny pops to his feet and goes after Clark with the two men clashing near the ropes and going immediately into a flurry of punches back and forth, neither man giving up and inch as Soapdish tries to break the two apart, finally getting himself between them! Johnny throws out one last desperation punch, causing Clark to stumble backwards and into the ropes. The camera catches a bit of a glaze in the International Champion’s eyes as the tag champ breaks from behind the ref’s back and heads toward Clark and looks for a clothesline!

 

WHIFF!

 

“WOAH!” calls the King as Alan gets underneath Johnny and pushes up with his back, sending the secret agent flipping toward the outside! Johnny’s hands catch the top rope and like a cat he pulls himself in and lands feet-first on the apron, the save almost surprising Alan as he stands and turns, only to catch a shoulder through the ropes and into his stomach! With his opponent doubled over, Johnny leaps up and over the top rope, flipping his body over top of Alan’s and dragging him down and into the middle of the ring with a sunset flip!

 

One!

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

Three!!

 

 

“RAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

NO!!

 

“Two! That was two!” Soapdish’s voice can be heard from the steady cam as he shows two fingers to Dangerous, the International Champion barely able to kickout from the pinning predicament. Johnny wastes no time in trying to fight the decision, nor could he if he wanted to, as Alan flips backwards to his knees and lunges across the mat, the two men starting to really wrestle across the canvas for control of the other as the crowd looks on!

 

“We almost had a new champion after that sunset flip attempt, and now both Alan Clark and Johnny Dangerous are throwing each other around the mat! Neither man can really get a good hold on the other!” Mak Francis does not even try to follow along with the action as each man trades hammerlocks with the other on the mat, only to have his opponent fight away, with Johnny trying his best to keep as much weight as he can on Clark’s back as the Happiest Guy On Earth tries to flip himself free and get himself to his back where he may have a bit more leverage. “Alan looks to be getting the worst of this exchange thanks to the hand-to-hand combat skills of Johnny Dangerous! He’s got him trapped and is just slamming his knee into Alan’s lower back as he fights with a half nelson! Alan Clark might be trapped!”

 

 

“OOOOMPH!” Alan lets out another hard gasp of air as Johnny’s knee drives into his spine, but with each shot comes more pain and more desperation, as Alan throws his legs out behind him and his free right arm out to hunt for the bottom rope that is just too far away.

 

“That’s what that dumbass gets for trying to test Dangermouse in close quarters!”

 

“GRAAAAH!”

 

“What was that!” screams the Franchise, almost ignoring his broadcast partner’s comment, as Johnny’s right knee connects once more and Alan slumps down to the mat, but the moment the Barracuda releases his grip is the exact moment Alan begins to stand back up, gritting his teeth through the pain and swiping wildly behind him at Dangerous, who has gotten back to his feet and moved far enough away to hopefully lull the champion into a mental safe zone.

 

“Johnny had him and he let him go! That’s it, these guys are both idiots!”

 

“Now it’s the predator that has become the prey, King, as Johnny looks to be getting set up for something here!” And with the crowd once again growing louder and louder, Johnny stays poised in position, watching and waiting as Clark stands to his feet and spins his body around to look for his opponent… “JOHNNY KICK!!”

 

WHIIIFF!

 

“He missed! All that time and he—“

 

“CUTTING IN LINE! NOO!” Alan ducks out of the way of the superkick and tries to follow up with a neckbreaker, only for Johnny to push himself free of the facelock! “These two are just going back and forth” continues Francis as Alan bounces off the ropes and comes back into the clutches of the secret agent… “MI SLAM!!”

 

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

 

 

“NO! Stupid got away again!”

 

“He’s not—“

 

“SUPERKICK!”

 

 

“Johnny ducked----”

 

WHAAAAM!

 

“---CUTTING IN LINE!!”

 

 

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

“Alan Clark tried for a second superkick and Johnny ducked, only to pop back up and right into Alan’s hands for that neckbreaker!” Mak is almost as electric as the sold-out crowd, who rains jeers down on Alan Clark as he rolls to his knees and then climbs to his feet, walking over the downed Johnny Dangerous and pulling up on his feet. “And now it looks like Alan Clark…” he trails off and watches along with the crowd as Alan pulls the legs of Johnny up to his chest and crosses them over…

 

“Is this what I think it is, Mak?”

 

“Oh I do think it is, and Johnny looks to be fighting back!” but even with the arms of the Barracuda flailing Alan continues, putting a stop to it with both of his feet pushing into the biceps of Dangerous before he pushes down with all of his weight, fighting the throbbing in his back and he wraps his hands around Johnny’s trashing head. “It looks like it’s time for Johnny Dangerous to take the trip…”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

“To EPSOT!” finishes the Franchise as, even with the crowd’s disapproval, Alan cinches the hold on and rolls his body backwards, pushing up with his feet and trapping Johnny’s body off the mat!

 

“He’s gonna tap, Mak! Nobody has ever escaped this hold! Nobody!”

 

“DON’T TAP! DON’T TAP! DON’T TAP!”

 

“TAP! TAP! TAAAAAAP!” the ringside cameras can hear Alan’s voice screaming out from inside the bizarre cradle as he pulls Johnny’s head down into his knees and battles with his own pain –

 

….but the pain scorching through the Barracuda is worse.

 

Ding Ding Ding!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

“He tapped! He tapped! Johnny Dangerous tapped out!!” screams the Suicide King as “Someday My Prince Will Come” begins to pipe from the PA, signaling the return to the ring of the dwarves and of Snow White, who greets Walter as he pulls Alan from the ring the moment the hold is released.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this bout by SUBMISSION and STILL S-W-F INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION….ALAAAAAAAN CLAAAAAARK!” booms Funyon as Soapdish slides out of the ring and holds Alan’s hand up, the champion’s body slung over Walter’s arm as the dwarves dance around his feet in celebration, the princess giving Clark a small kiss on the cheek as the entourage moves toward the backstage area, none of them paying much attention to the arrival of the Wildchild, who hits the ring and moves to his defeated partner to check him over.

 

“Alan Clark did it, folks. Whether you love him or you hate him he continues to be a rising star in the SWF since his return last fall…” Mak Francis speaks as replays from the match replay, “it started with hard hitting strikes from both men and Johnny Dangerous was able to take control,” he continues as the video shows the hard suplex taken on the outside of the ring by Clark “but a reversal of fortunes on the outside with eventually lead to a bit of a comeback, culminating in Alan cutting in line after a missed superkick and securing a victory here tonight at From The Fire with his own special submission.” The jeering crowd is treated with another shot of the EPSOT and Johnny’s hands shaking, his lips no doubt giving Soapdish the word. On this night – Johnny Dangerous was defeated and his dreams of recapturing the International Championship will not come true.”

 

“Well at least he can be happy knowing he’s still a tag champion, and at least we didn’t have to deal with Zyon and that crazy Luchador disrupting everything again!”

 

“Speaking of which, King, we need to check on that as the show is almost over and time is running out here in Sydney!” and as the cameras fade to wherever Zyon and the Insane Luchador have wound up, the crowd stands on their feet – not to get a better look at the Smarktron, but to give some love to Johnny Dangerous as he is helped backstage by his partner and Nick Soapdish, the tag championship draped over his shoulder.

[Ace309 0]

Iron Man slot #5

[Ace309 0]

"Two months of build-up later, we are ready for the annual tradition that is the From The Fire main event." introduces Mak as we return from... well, PPVs don't have commercials. So, I guess they just stuck the test-card up for a few seconds. "SWF World Heayweight Champion versus reigning Clusterfuck Winner, in a match of the challenger's choosing. And usually, that would be plenty enough for us all to get our editorial teeth around, but there's a lot more to this story tonight, as it pertains to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix and "The Beast" Gabriel Drake."

 

"That's right Mak." King agrees, clearly building up to twist his partner's analogy into a way of putting someone down. "The past couple of months, Gabriel Drake has played Maddix like a fiddle. A cheap fiddle, that's poorly constructed and painful to listen to. And tonight, he's going to play his greatest masterpiece of all. It'll be so good infact, I'm sure one of us is going to be shouting 'ENCORE!' by the end. Especially if Landon is still breathing."

 

"'One of us' being you, of course."

 

"Well, you're welcome to join in. With any luck, Maddix can join your fledgling wheelchair basketball squad."

 

"Wonderful." deadpans Mak, ignoring whatever King just said. "Well, weird ramblings aside, there's a lot of history to go through ahead of this most anticipated of matches here tonight. Landon Maddix, two-time former World Heavyweight Champion looking to add a third reign to his record, a feat only four men before him have accomplished. He's also a two-time Clusterfuck winner, but fell short in his last From The Fire challenge two years ago against Toxxic, the only man in SWF history to have done so. No doubt, he won't be eager to add to that particular record. His opponent, Gabriel Drake, hasn't had the best of dealings with La Cucaracha. So he has plenty to avenge himself, with three of his only four defeats in SWF competition being caused in some way by Landon. Their only one on one meeting was the Cage Match at Genesis, which Landon won..."

 

"That's a technicality. He 'won' by running away, Gabe obtained the moral victory."

 

"Since when did you give a damn about morals?" Mak counters. "Anyway, Landon won their only meeting. So there's plenty of backstory surrounding this match even before Landon becoming number one contender, but we'll get to that in due course. We should first point out the SWF World Heavyweight Championship, hanging from the rafters here in the Acer Arena."

 

Right on cue, the adept SWF camera crew linger on the SWF World Title belt glimmering high overhead. Twenty-feet overhead infact and there for the taking. If you're twenty foot tall.

 

"By winning the Clusterfuck, Landon earned the right to choose his stipulation for this match and eventually he decided upon a Ladder Match."

 

"Thank God he didn't choose the same match he did two years ago." groans King. "I still don't think I get the rules."

 

"I don't think Landon does either. But, regardless, Landon and noteably Megan Skye thought long and hard over the best match to face Gabriel Drake in and a Ladder Match is what they came up with. Whether Megan Skye has been around to come up with a gameplan for the match itself after the sickening actions of Gabe two weeks ago is another matter... King, time to earn your money here. Did they make the right decision in choosing this Ladder Match?"

 

"Honestly?"

 

"If you can manage it."

 

"Well, on paper it looks like Landon's kind of match. That's no secret. He has a speed advantage, less weight to drag up the ladder, more agility to do so with... let's just say, I can see why Megan chose this stipulation and let's be honest, Maddix had no say in the thought-process because he has no thought-process. But matches aren't won and lost on paper. As much of an advantage as Landon has in speed and the like, with No Disqualifications Gabriel is free to do whatever he wants to incapacitate him. And we've seen plenty of times in the past, he's more than capable of doing so. In the end, it comes down to how slippery and sneaky Maddix can be."

 

"Two very different strategies, but only one way to win. Climb the ladder and retrieve the gold. Who will do so? We're about to find out, as we send it up to Funyon for the main event proceedings..."

 

 

"REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!"

 

The crowd in the Acer Arena go wild as the lights drop, alternating between complete blackout and really frikkin' bright as "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson powers through the P.A system. As the lyrics kick in so do more cheers, as the curtains pop and the number one contender storms out into the arena. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, Clusterfuck Champion. And Landon Maddix alone, with no sign of his manager at his side. Head down, Landon in an extremely rare move doesn't acknowledge the fans what-so-ever. He doesn't mug, he doesn't pose, he doesn't even shill his soda of choice, Pepsi Max, which co-incidentally co-sponsors this SWF PPV presentation. -

 

 

- That's Pepsi Max. Maximum Taste, No Sugar. -

 

 

- He simply marches determinedly down the aisle, brushing past the ladder erected at the foot of the ramp and rolling straight into the ring.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Main Event of the evening!" announces Funyon hurriedly, expecting much more time to work with during a Landon Maddix entrance. "It is for the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!! And, it is a LADDER MATCH, in which the only way to win is to climb one of the ladders provided at ringside and retrieve the belt hanging above the ring. Introducing first, in the ring at this time the challenger!"

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

"Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain! He weighs in tonight at two hundred, eight pounds... the former two-time SWF World Champion and the reigning, two-time Clusterfuck winner... LLLAAAAANNDDOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXX!!!"

 

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

All through this introduction, Landon sits on his knees (hey, if you can kick with your knee then you can damn sure sit on them) and stares intently down the aisleway, right through the parting between the sides of the ladder. Even the roar of the crowd, something which isn't a guarantee nowadays, doesn't seem to shake him out of his trance.

 

"You don't hear me say this often, but Landon Maddix is all business here tonight." points out Mak. "This is for the SWF World Heavyweight Championship, the richest prize in our sport. Landon knows full-well what it means to challenge for and hold that title, but you have to wonder how much of a concern that title really is right now, compared to the thoughts of revenge swimming through his head. Remember, just two weeks ago Landon's manager and confident Megan Skye kidnapped and trapped in the trunk of a car by Gabriel Drake, which is why she's not accompanying Landon tonight."

 

"When this egomaniac isn't mugging to camera every five seconds, you know it's a serious issue."

 

Continuing to stare at the entrance way, Landon begins to rock from side to side to try and keep himself from tightening up too much. For the moment, it seems the Champion is happy to make his opponent wait. The dead air hangs as the crowd continue to wait, fearing some technical difficulties, before finally an eerie blue light covers the arena. Several bright white strobe lights fire through the air with it, building with the pace of Rob Zombie's "The Devil’s Rejects". Gabriel Drake’s two cold hazel eyes stare out from the Smarktron, an amused sneer crossing his face for a second before one hand reaches out and grips presumably the camera. The picture shakes violently, then blurs and cuts to black as the camera is apparently thrown into a wall.

 

All the while, Landon watches on.

 

"JAAAAAIIIIIL-BIIIIIRD!"

"JAAAAAIIIIIL-BIIIIIRD!"

"JAAAAAIIIIIL-BIIIIIRD!"

 

"Define 'irony'." King sneers, as the Australian crowd don't let their past existance stop them from a good chant.

 

Right on time with the chants, "The Beast" is unleashed into the arena.

 

"I am the bad one...

Distant and cruel one...

I am the dream that, keeps you running down..."

 

Through the piercing white lights, Gabriel Drake stares out into the Acer Arena through those cold hazel eyes of his, framed by the white highlight of his otherwise black hair. Without his World Heavyweight Title in possession but still maintaining the air of a champion all the same, Gabe stands and soaks in the moment for a while with the faintest hint of a smile on his face, before sauntering on down the aisle.

 

"With distraction...

Violent reaction...

Scars of my actions, Watch me running out..."

 

Various highlights from Gabriel's past SWF career, typically the most violent ones, continue to play in the backdrop of the SmarkTron. The real-life version of "The Beast" clearly hopes to add another couple of highlights here tonight judging from the eyeing up of the ladder he takes as he reaches it in the aisle. A couple of taps with his fist tell Gabe that this ladder is no cheapo version provided by the SWF Props Department™, it's very much the real thing. Much to his pleasure.

 

"HELL DOESN’T WANT THEM!

HELL DOESN’T NEED THEM!

HELL DOESN’T LOVE THEM!"

 

"And, introducing the opponent! Hailing from Athens, Georgia... he weighs in at two hundred, fifty eight pounds. The reigning and defending Smartmarks Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion of the WOOORRLLDD... "THE BEAST"... GGAAAAAAAABBRRRRRIIIIIIEEEEELLLLLLL DDRRRRRRAAAAAAAAKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

 

"JAAAAAIIIIIL-BIIIIIRD!"

"JAAAAAIIIIIL-BIIIIIRD!"

"JAAAAAIIIIIL-BIIIIIRD!"

 

"Arguably, that man should be back in jail as we speak, after what he did to Megan Skye two weeks ago!" argues Mak.

 

"Thank goodness for that 'professional wrestling' loophole in all GBH lawsuits in North America." muses King. Almost nostalgically. "Never fails."

 

"The Devil's Rejects..."

 

"The Devil’s Rejects..."

 

Drake smirks a little at the heated reception, stopping at the foot of the steps and looking up at his World Title belt dangling from the ceiling as he jogs his way up the ring steps. Landon continues to watch on intently from the far side of the ring as Drake looks him dead in the eye. He looks up from Landon back at the belt for a second, making the immortal 'belt motion' around his waist for posterity, before clearly mouthing to his challenger that he'll "have to go through me to get that ladder" as he jerks a thumb over his shoulder.

 

"Gabriel Drake, making it clear to Landon that he'll have to go through him to become World Champion," enforces Mak, "no matter what the stipulation is."

 

"And you heard Gabe last week, this is officially personal. I've got a feeling Gabe is going to take his sweet time and enjoy every second of the punishment he's going to inflict on Maddix tonight."

 

"I really don't think Gabriel needed to make the fact that this is personal 'official'. I think his actions in the past two weeks have managed that more than effectively."

 

We find ourselves at a stand-off as Drake seems to be daring Landon to make a move towards the ladder. After all, the champion has all night, it's the challenger that has to make use of his speed in order to win tonight.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

Seeing no reason to delay any longer, the assigned referee Sexton Hardcastle calls for the bell, now that he's clear of the battleground. Maddix continues to stay relatively motionless, staring at the World Champion as he waits on the apron, beckoning his challenger with one finger with a sneer. And already struggling to keep his emotions in check at the mere sight of the man who kidnapped his manageress, Landon suddenly lets out a screaming expletive and sprints at Gabriel with forearm wielded! Gabe quickly drops down and thrusts his shoulder through the ropes, catching Maddix running in in the gut. As he staggers back, Gabe then scrambles in through the bottom and middle ring ropes, only to find himself under a barrage of stomps as Maddix gets a rage-induced adrenaline boost and pounces!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"Landon Maddix is FIRED UP~!"

 

Despite the boots raining off his upper back, Gabe is able to keep climbing to his feet, only slightly hampered by the attack once on his knees. Which is when Landon changes tact, striking with his instep rather than the flat of the boot, cracking a kick across Gabriel's left shoulder! Gabe stands bolt upright, creating some distance as he marches away shaking out his arm. But Maddix is right on his tail, waiting for Drake to spin around... before cracking him with another kick, this one wrapped around the back of the thigh!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

And a knifedge chop! The Beast growls, puffing out his chest...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...as Landon fires off with another knifedge! In a rage, Landon thinks nothing of the fact Gabriel is still standing...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and connects with a third knifedge! Gabriel remains upright but seems a little winded, naturally. So Landon keeps the heat on the Champion and reaches up to pop the 6'4 World Champion in the jaw with a forearm, before grabbing the arm and attempting an irish whip. However, with his superior strength, Drake goes with the momentum to arms length of his own accord, only to twist and drag Landon in, bowling him off his feet with a hard clothesline!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

"Oh man!" groans Mak. "Landon Maddix clearly not thinking straight and he tried to stand up and strike with The Beast for far too long."

 

"At least last week on Storm he attacked Gabriel from behind and had the element of surprise behind him. Tonight he's face to face with the World Champion and we're going to see just how tough 'La Cucaracha' really is!"

 

With the challenger winding up facedown on the canvas, sporting a pissed off look on his face Gabriel reaches down, grabbing hold of Landon's blond locks. He hauls Landon up onto his knees, altering his grip as he fires a clubbing forearm across the chest.

 

And again.

 

And again!

 

Forearm after forearm after forearm crash into La Cucaracha's chest in rapid succession, Drake beating Landon until he goes limp, at which point he callously shoves him face-first into the canvas and stands over him with his fist held high.

 

"Mak, I do believe it's Clobbering Time!" King gloats.

 

Gabriel reaches down and drags Maddix back up, transferring from hair to throat and pushing him back into a corner. Right up in Landon's face, Drake puts the badmouth on his challenger, who kicks and struggles to be released from the choke. All in good time as Gabe brings a knee up into the gut. And a second time, before whipping Maddix across the ring, corner to corner and HARD into the opposite turnbuckles. Out staggers Landon, right into The Beast, who opens up the wrestling textbook and pulls a suplex out of it!

 

"JAAAAAIIIIIL-BIIIIIRD!"

"JAAAAAIIIIIL-BIIIIIRD!"

"JAAAAAIIIIIL-BIIIIIRD!"

 

Gabe looks into the crowd as he again uses the hair to bring Landon back up. This time, all the way to his feet, lining Landon up and measuring him for a BIG right hand that puts him right back down to the canvas. Followed by one firm middle finger, extended to all corners of the arena!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

"That's one way to react to a crowd on your back. Almost as if he punched every single fan in this arena with that one."

 

"And he'd do just that given the opportunity." smiles King. "That's why I love him!"

 

For the first time since the bell, Gabriel takes a look over at the ladder. Only a brief one though. For now, he's happy with the damage he's doing weaponless (his hands are his weapons~!) and is happy to sit and wait on Maddix to get back to his feet. Landon drags himself up on the ropes, pushing himself off the top strand and walking right into a boot from Drake. Pulling Landon into a standing headscissors, Drake quickly hoists him up onto his shoulders seemingly ready for the Demon Bomb.

 

However, Gabe isn't quite as in control as he seems. Landon quickly arches back and latches onto the top rope he'd left moments earlier, using the momentum to pull Gabriel forward in a headscissors. With the rope in hand Landon saves himself, but the same can't be said for Gabriel Drake. The Beast goes tumbling over the top and bounces off the ring apron, right into the steel barricade!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"A little bit of Clusterfuck comes to From The Fire!" cheers Mak. "Tactics like that won Landon this shot tonight and they won't win him the World Title, but they might go some way towards it!"

 

Skinning the cat back inside, Landon's feet hit solid ground and he crouches down. Perhaps still feeling the effects of his exertions last week, he tries to work some kinks out of his back before Drake can get back after him. He just about manages it, Gabe starting to pull himself back onto the apron...

 

 

...and getting dropkicked through the ropes, forcing him right back against the barricade!

 

*CLAP!*

*CLAP!*

*CLAP!*

*CLAP!*

 

"And this crowd came for some high spots it would seem!"

 

And it would seem that they're in the right place, as Maddix turns on his heels and makes for the far ropes. Drake sees this and peels himself off the guardrail, trying to get back in the ring before Landon can come flying out of it. He doesn't make it in time...

 

 

 

...AS LANDON DIVES THROUGH THE SECOND AND BOTTOM ROPES WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"Topé Especial!" calls Mak, as Gabe yet again gets better acquainted with the Australian guardrail, this time a lot more forcefully than either time before. "Maddix swooping low and tackling The Beast with that daredevil manoeuvre!"

 

"Daredevil?" King retorts. "Mak, he went over the BOTTOM rope. Even you could manage that, you'd barely even need a ramp!"

 

Both men remain down on the outside. Drake is slumped, sat against the barricade, while Landon has landed right by the ring apron. Which proves a handy base to help him to climb back up, taking one look at Gabriel before taking a detour towards the aisleway. Still the back seems to be giving Landon a few problems, but he makes it to the ladder and takes a brief breather against it before setting about folding it up.

 

"Well, it's Maddix who gets to the ladder first!" calls Mak. "But he'd better be quick, because The Beast is stirring."

 

Landon lugs the ladder behind him and props it up against the ring apron, before noticing that indeed Drake has stirred and is up on his feet. So Maddix leaves the ladder behind and walks around the ring, meeting Gabriel with a straight kick to the chest! Drake backpedals a little as Maddix wraps his red and yellow kickpad into the chest for a second time! However, striking with a Beast will only sustain itself for so long, something which Maddix realises as Drake makes moves back towards him, reaching out and grabbing a handful of face! A gruesome tactic, but effective, Maddix raking away at the face and forcing Gabriel backwards until he's backed up against the ring steps. A final rake of the face leaves Gabe blinded and favouring his other facial features...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...meaning he doesn't see the follow-up knifedge chop coming!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...or the second! However, he does see the third...

 

 

 

*CLUNK!*

 

...weaving out of the way, causing Landon TO CHOP THE RINGPOST!!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"OH!" adds Mak. "He could have broken his hand!"

 

"I hope he's a leftie."

 

"..."

 

Howling in pain, The Next Generation cups his right hand in his left and drops to one knee. Caught up in the pain he forgets about Gabe however, up until the moment his head gets jerked backwards by the scruff of the neck...

 

 

 

*THUD!*

 

 

...AND SLAMMED FACE-FIRST INTO THE TOP OF THE STEEL STEPS!!

 

Maddix promptly collapses in a heap beside the ring steps, at the feet of The Beast who squints a little at the bright lights. Brighter than they were a few seconds ago, at least, when he was temporarily blinded. A close-up camera shot reveals a glazed over look on Landon's face as he starts to sit up, helped the rest of the way up to his feet in a headlock by Drake. And with a grip of the wrist, Gabriel uses a tactic much more rife in Japan than Australia, as he whips Maddix sixteen odd feet across ringside, The Next Generation seemingly unable to stop himself before clattering off the guardrail on the aisle-side.

 

"I'm not sure how much damage Maddix did to that right hand," Mak thinks aloud, "but if that is indeed broken then he's going to have considerable trouble climbing the ladder and taking that SWF World Championship."

 

"He might not make it far enough for us to find out, Mak."

 

Stalking after his opponent, evil intentions seem to flicker through Gabe's eyes as he looks to his right, noticing the ladder leant up against the apron. Gabe retrieves Landon and drags him from the barrier over towards the ladder, but first detours him and pushes him into the ringpost. The shoulder of the challenger clatters into the steel post and there he nestles, as Gabriel takes another look at the ladder.

 

And smiles.

 

"Oh boy, I hope that ladder is sturdy." muses King, correcting himself in his head as he goes. "You know, actually, it doesn't really matter. So long as it doesn't completely give out when he dumps Maddix on it, gotta have some sort of resistance to it if we're going to see any damage worth writing home about."

 

"Gabriel Drake with something bad in mind here." Mak calls, trying to ignore his partner and, ya know, do his job.

 

Pulling Landon away from the ringpost, Gabriel now directs him over to the ladder and scoops him up over his shoulder, looking to 'snake eye' him on the ladder...

 

 

 

...NO! Maddix slithers back and off of Gabe's shoulder, hanging off of The Beast's back and trying to apply a sleeper hold. He doesn't seem to able to do so without aggrivating his still throbbing right hand however and can't get the hold properly applied before Drake backpedals, driving the small of Landon's back into the ring apron and forcing him to fall from his back!

 

"Now he's dead." predicts King, gleefully, as Drake drags Maddix away from the apron and in front of the ladder this time. And growling under his breath, The Beast cups his hands under La Cucaracha's armpits, lifting him high into the air.

 

"Oh no..."

 

Maddix tries to kick his legs, flap his arms, anything to avoid what's imminent. But Drake continues to hold him high.

 

"...oh no..."

 

And with a last, petrified look back over his shoulder, Landon braces himself as Drake lets him drop...

 

 

 

 

 

*KE - RAAACK!*

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

...RIGHT DOWN THE LENGTH OF THE LADDER!!

 

 

"Oh, NO!"

 

"Oh YEAH~!" shouts King in full Kool Aid mode.

 

"What a nonchalant move from Drake!" cringes Mak. "He just dropped him and let gravity take it's course. And take it's course it did, Landon plummeting right down on the ladder, absolutely NO way to protect the back of his head on impact!"

 

Landon remains laying across the propped ladder, until the writhing his ribs and head force him into causes him to topple off of one side, into a comparitively less painful but still jarring fall to the arena floor. Gabriel simply stalks over him with a smile. Reaching down, he grabs the base of the ladder and slides it underneath the bottom rope and into the ring with more nonchalant ease.

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

The crowd try to lend their support to the challenger, but how much good that'll really do is doubtful. Gabriel just smirks a little as he deposits Maddix into the ring much the same way he did with the ladder and climbs back in after both. His first concern is the ladder, picking it up and hoisting it over his shoulder like a battering ram before retreating into a corner and simply waiting.

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

"And this Australian crowd trying to get behind the challenger." points out Mak, for the hard of hearing. "I guess they don't mind him when Toxxic isn't around."

 

"Man, how have we managed not to even mention him once yet?"

 

"No earthly idea."

 

"Me neither. But in all seriousness, these people can chant all they want, but all they're going to do is fuel the kids overactive ego and stop him from quitting long before he should. If they really care about him, they should shut the hell up and hope he stays down!"

 

Something which they won't and something which he won't, respectively. The fans route behind Landon and Landon in turn tries to find a route back to his feet. Gabriel continues to wait with his home-made battering ram, as Maddix grips onto the top rope, pulling himself s l o w l y to his feet... and promptly collapsing in groggy agony.

 

"Maddix can barely stand... King, I think had Gabriel risked it, he could have climbed the ladder and retrieved the belt by now."

 

"That's just the thing," smiles King knowingly, "Gabriel Drake doesn't take stupid risks. That's Maddix's department. And that's why Gabriel is the Champion and Maddix the challenger. Besides, he's probably having too much fun to end it so quickly."

 

Setting the ladder down in the centre of the ring, it seems Gabe is in no mood to let Landon just crawl up and die. At least not yet anyway. And he does what Landon couldn't do on his own power, lifts him to his feet. After lifting the unco-operative challenger up, Gabriel then props him in a corner while he plans his next move. Walking back to the ladder the World Champion decides he likes it better propped up, placing it in the corner opposite Landon and giving it a couple of taps to make sure it'll stay propped long enough to actually utilise it. Once he's sure, Gabe then marches back across the ring to collect Landon, gripping him by the wrist and turning him around, before whipping him corner to corner...

 

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

 

...BACKFIRST INTO THE LADDER!

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

The ladder jars on impact but stays upright, mainly thanks to Landon slumping back against it. Staying as methodical in his movements as he has been all night so far, Gabriel walks back over and grabs the wrist again. Whipped out to arm's length, Landon finds himself dragged right back in...

 

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

 

...AND RIGHT BACK, BACKFIRST INTO THE LADDER AGAIN!

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"Well, we said before the match this could go one of two ways," recalls Mak, "either Landon's speed would be the key or this could turn into a massacre on Gabriel Drake's part. And at the moment, it seems like Option B is winning out."

 

This time Maddix crumbles to his knees against the ladder and clutches at his ribs. Drake isn't done with him yet however. Back up again he pulls the challenger, against his will, this time sweeping him up and over his shoulder ready for any attempt to roll the snake eyes again. Walking back towards the opposite corner Drake looks to get the maximum possible run-up before he executes the move. But, all of a sudden, Landon begins squirming again. Not as successfully as before, but as Gabe stubbornly keeps walking Landon eventually does force his way off the shoulder and slides down the back, showing pure desperation as he barges Drake in the back on his way down. That and Gabe's own momentum send him forwards... and STERNUM-FIRST into the turnbuckles!!

 

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 

Usually, you'd expect The Beast to simply come staggering out, maybe stop and catch his breath. However instead of any of that, Drake drops. And I mean, like a stone. For a moment it seems a curious reaction to hitting turnbuckles. Until that is, the camera gets a better shot of the corner Gabriel impacted into.

 

 

And suddenly, the reaction seems just about right, for hitting EXPOSED STEEL!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

 

"What the... where the hell's the turnbuckle pad!?"

 

"I think... Landon must have taken it off! Landon must have exposed the turnbuckle while he was propped in that corner, undetected! And it might have just turned this match back in his favour!!"

 

"That figures." snaps King. "Talk about your cheap, sneaky, slippery moves!"

 

"No Disqualifications, King."

 

"Yeah, but at least Gabriel uses the No Disqualifications openly and man to man, instead of behind your back when you least expect it!"

 

"You know, you're becoming more and more irrational by the day."

 

In all this bickering, Landon and Gabe have had some time to recover. And both are slow but approaching their feet. Gabriel still doesn't look like he knows what hit him. Maddix does, but it doesn't make it any the less painful. Still nursing his back he begins to limp over towards the ladder, turning more into a duck-walk as he falls to his knees for the final stretch. Meanwhile Gabriel slumps over the top rope, breathing heavily.

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

Cradling the ladder in his arms Landon summons some reserves and blocks out the pain long enough to stand, aiming himself at the World Champion. Once he's braced himself, he then charges from across the ring, looking to sandwich him up against the ropes...

 

 

 

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

...but Gabriel turns JUST in time, throwing up a boot and kicking the ladder back into Landon's chest! Landon topples backwards, bringing the ladder down on top of him perpendicular to his body. That jolts his body enough. But Gabriel isn't satisfied, standing over Landon and lifting the ladder up...

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

...AND SLAMMING IT BACK DOWN ACROSS THE CHEST!

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

...AND AGAIN!

 

*CRACK!*

 

...AND A THIRD TIME, before his own chest worries cause him to stop for a recollection of breath. Landon lays limp underneath the ladder and any momentum he gained from the exposed turnbuckle has been all but extinguished, as The Beast drags the ladder off of Maddix and tosses it aside. Drake then scoops Landon up, dumping him unceremoniously through the lowest two ropes, before grabbing the ladder and frustratedly setting it in the centre of the ring!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

"He's going up!" cries King. "I think Gabe's finally had enough of dealing with this punk and who can blame him?"

 

"Gabriel Drake, looking to make the first ascent towards the World Heavyweight Championship hanging from the ceiling! We know Gabe is tough. We know he's powerful. We're about to see how much of a climber he is! And that could be crucial to whether he retains his title tonight or not!"

 

Drake looks up into the lights and positions the ladder as carefully as possible underneath the gold hanging high above. And with a last deep breath he begins his climb. Cries from the fans towards Landon to 'hurry up' and 'get in the bloody ring' aren't all that compassionate or understanding. But they certainly don't want to see Gabriel Drake retain, as he looks like doing as he begins to make steady progress up the ladder.

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

Stopping, The Beast takes a look up. Only five rungs from the top and the belt within maybe half that. With the belt so close, Gabriel enters tunnel vision...

 

 

...which means he doesn't notice Landon virtually dumping himself onto the apron and slithering in underneath the bottom rope! Even the roar from the crowd at this sudden sign of life from La Cucaracha doesn't seem to alert Gabriel, from four rungs from the top...

 

 

...make that three rungs...

 

 

 

...but suddenly, the ladder jolts! Gabriel understandably commits the mortal sin of looking down from a high place, to find Landon Maddix on his side of the ladder and fast approaching him. But rather than make a gamble for the belt, Gabe turns himself so his back is against the rungs of the ladder and actually seems to be coaxing Maddix up after him!

 

"Landon did just about enough to distract Gabriel!" calls Mak.

 

"Yeah, but now he's on a ladder with The Beast towering over him!"

 

Landon gets three rungs up and finds himself in a tough position, looking up at Gabriel as he places his hands on the top rung of the ladder for some added leverage. The Beast then kicks down, his foot narrowly whistling past Landon's left ear as he just dodges his head out of the way in time. Another kick is avoided. And a third kick, Gabriel now getting a little impatient as he tries to rid himself of the persistant challenger. However, his over-eagerness almost costs him as he begins to lose his balance, having to take a second to right himself...

 

 

 

*CHING!*

 

 

...GIVING LANDON TIME TO REACH UP AND PUNCH GABE BETWEEN THE LEGS!!!

 

"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Maddix adopts a brief Jean Claude Van Damme pose as Drake stands with mouth agape, suddenly going rigid near the top of the ladder.

 

"I was going to say that Landon went low for a second," admits Mak, "but technically, that isn't really true."

 

"I don't know, I don't think you can get much lower than that kind of cheap move."

 

The problem for Landon now, beside his back and his neck and his head and his possibly broken right hand, is that to get to the belt right now he'd have to literally climb over The Beast. Something which just isn't going to happen. However, he can't really throw Gabe off either. So Landon is forced to scale carefully up a couple of rungs, so as his head comes up level with Gabriel's stomach. A quick headbutt to the gut gives Maddix an extra second or two to adjust himself, deciding he needs to take another step...

 

 

 

...but it proves a step too far, as Gabe suddenly thrusts out a knee...

 

 

 

...and Landon falls backwards...

 

 

 

 

...LEFT HANGING UPSIDE DOWN IN THE TREE OF WOE ON THE LADDER AS HIS LEG GETS CAUGHT IN THE RUNGS!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"Oh Jesus..."

 

"YES!" cries King, not nearly as concerned over Landon nearly killing himself as his partner is. "GABE IS THERE!"

 

With Landon hanging upside down, it seems Gabe does have a completely clear route to the belt and the crowd begin to boo the crap out of him, as with a grimace still etched on his face from the nutshot earlier, Gabriel c a r e f u l l y stands upright...

 

 

 

...but suddenly freezes in fear, back to gripping onto the top of the ladder. Even in the tree of woe on the ladder itself, Landon is poses a problem, as he starts to thrash around, kicking with his free leg and shaking with his hands, causing the ladder to shake violently the moment Gabriel's weight isn't focused on the very top of it!!

 

"No, I don't think Gabe can get it! What a desperation moment for Landon Maddix, he's somehow saving himself in this position!"

 

Gabriel tries again to reach up, this time with just the one hand. But again the violent movement of Landon threatens to topple the ladder and in this position, it's destined to be Gabe who comes off the worst.

 

"Don't worry Gabe!!" shouts King, hoping to be heard over the baying crowd. "Sooner or later he has to pass out, just sit it out!"

 

"Unless he frees himself."

 

"Yeah, well... crap! How LUCKY can one person be!? The moron goes from almost falling on his head from a ladder to virtually checkmating Gabe on the top of the ladder with nowhere to go!"

 

As both men wait for the other to make the mistake in their precarious positions, a stand-off seems to be setting in. Until that is, Landon suddenly bridges up, trying to perform some sort of a mid-air sit-up to get back upright on the ladder! He risks bringing the entire ladder forward and on top of him in doing so if Gabriel's weight doesn't keep it steady. And Gabe is well aware of that. So The Beast, in spite of himself, is forced to give up on the belt...

 

 

...waiting until Landon's body is somewhere close to ninety degrees, before dropping off the ladder with elbow extended...

 

 

 

 

...BUT LANDON LAYS BACK...

 

 

 

 

 

 

*WHAAAMM!*

 

 

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

...AND GABRIEL MISSES HIS ELBOW DROP AND PLUMMETS ALL THE WAY TO THE CANVAS!!!!

 

"NOBODY HOME!! GABRIEL DRAKE, ALL THE WAY FROM THE HEAVENS WITH THAT FRUITLESS ELBOW DROP ATTEMPT!"

 

"You've got to be kidding me..."

 

As Gabriel settles on the canvas, the fans suddenly rise to their feet as they realise Landon is still on the ladder! And with the World Champion down and possibly out of it, all the challenger needs to do is right himself.

 

Which is easier said than done. Infact, it's nigh on impossible. With no-one at the top of the ladder or for that matter on the other side, Landon can't sit up because it would tip the ladder right on top of him. So instead, Landon tries to squirm his foot free from between the rungs.

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

The fans get behind him and Landon feeds off the encouragement, but again it's only going to do him so much good. Gabe is still down for now but Landon knows he can't have long. And with one last effort, he bridges...

 

 

...but the ladder comes toppling...

 

 

 

 

...toppling on top of him...

 

 

...but Landon gets his hands up! And as the ladder comes down on top of him, he comes out relatively unscathed, allowing him to squeeze his ankle free and try to set the ladder back up as quickly as possible!

 

"Maddix is free! Can he get up the ladder before Gabe recovers though!?"

 

Setting the ladder back where it was, Maddix starts to scramble up the ladder...

 

 

...and then stops scrambling, deciding to take it a little easier as the effects of the match so far, not to mention Storm a week ago, hamper his progress. He begins to start scaling though, six rungs away...

 

 

 

...five...

 

 

...four...

 

 

...the belt in sight...

 

 

 

...JUST AS GABE REACHES OUT A FOOT...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...SENDING LANDON AND THE LADDER OFF TO THE SIDE, LANDON EJECTING FROM THE CARNAGE BOUND LADDER, BUT STILL CLATTERING INTO THE RING ROPES!!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Landon whiplashes violently off the ropes; neck, arm, legs, pretty much all of him really. And as he naturally untangles from the ropes he lays flat out on the canvas, both men down and neither in any shape to make a break for the belt!

 

"And we are at a stalemate!" gasps Mak. "First attempts at the title for both men and both come up short. Lest we forget, Landon won his first Tag Team Title in TLC and he was the one to retrieve the belts! But then there were five other men to contend with, one of those a partner and more opportunities to pick your spots. This is one on one and you have to be assured your opponent is neutralised before you even think of climbing that ladder."

 

"That's the problem for Landon, he relies on his sneakiness..."

 

"Oh, brother."

 

"...where-as Gabe just needs to take a bit more time next time. I think he counted Landon out just a tad too soon before he went for the belt, meaning that..."

 

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

 

"...huh?"

 

"What happened?" snaps King, unhappy at being interrupted. "Did the cricket scores come in or something?"

 

With both men down, it's clear something is up. And as one by one every head turns, we see the reason for the cheers, as down the aisleway jogs a familiar female figure.

 

"HOT DAMN! IT'S MEGAN SKYE!!"

 

"What the hell!?"

 

"MEGAN SKYE!"

 

"I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME, STOP SHOUTING!"

 

The Sydney crowd continue their whoops and catcalls as Megan reaches ringside, jogging around the ring to where Landon lays and pounding her fists into the ring apron as she tries to encourage her man to get back up. Especially now that Gabriel Drake is on his way back up, slowly limping across the ring to where the fallen ladder lays.

 

"You know, I'm pretty sure Megan Skye shouldn't be out here," Mak thinks aloud once the surprise of the arrival sinks in, "I'm not so sure she's safe around Gabriel Drake! I didn't even know she was here tonight!"

 

Megan continues to try and rouse her men as Gabriel stands the ladder back up. And for the first time he spots Megan, a little surprised himself to see the woman he kidnapped two weeks ago braving a presence at ringside. Gabe glares at Skye briefly, before turning his attention back to the small matter of retaining his World Title, as he begins to scale the ladder again.

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

Slamming her fists along with the chants, Megan tries to get some sort of reaction from Landon. And finally he looks up, dis-orientated for a moment... and even more dis-orientated when he sees Megan at ringside! He begins to wave his arms, telling her to go away as presumably she was told to orginally. But Megan isn't going anywhere.

 

 

Meanwhile, Gabriel is still scaling. Step by step, he inches towards the belt, his climb slower than even his last after his kamikaze elbow attempt.

 

"Drake is clearly struggling here." notices Mak, as the World Champion stops for a second and clutches his right arm to his body. "But he's just a couple of rungs away, if he can just block the pain out!"

 

Gabe finally does just that and resumes his climb...

 

 

...as behind him, Megan stubbornly refuses to leave, thrusting something into Landon's hands and giving him some advice. Some hurried advice, as Megan can see Gabe's progress...

 

 

 

...and that he's close enough to attempt to reach for the gold. He comes up inches short however, cringing a little as he has to force himself up one more step...

 

 

 

 

...buying Landon time to pull himself up on the ropes...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*CLUNK!*

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

...AND CRACK DRAKE IN THE BACK OF THE KNEE!!!

 

"What the hell is that!?"

 

"That looks like..."

 

 

*CLUNK!*

 

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH, FUCK!!"

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"...King, that looks like a tire iron!" gasps Mak as Drake now stands on one leg on the ladder, head tucked into his body in pain. "And where do you suppose Megan found one of them!?"

 

"Oh, you don't think?"

 

"I tell you what, either way, the irony is delicious! Or, should that be tire iron-y?"

 

"Good God..."

 

Teetering precariously on the ladder, Drake is clearly in agony as Landon falls into the ladder on that same side, also in pain. He sucks it up long enough to reach up and grab the trailing leg though. One tug later and both men crash to the mat, Landon from the sheer effort of jerking Gabe off... the ladder... while Drake lands on his feet, only for the right knee to buckle under him and send him sprawling!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"And now King, now the tables may have turned!" Mak announces proudly. "Yes, it is true that Landon can't climb a ladder if he's unconscious or immobile, but the same can be said for Gabriel Drake! And if he can't put any weight on that knee, he can't climb the ladder... what a brilliant strategy!"

 

"Yeah, no coincidence that the 'brilliant strategy' kicked in the moment Megan showed up. No coincidence at all."

 

Wearily Maddix uses the ladder to climb back up, looking up at the World Title high above him. However, that's not the only thing that catches his eye. Before he even starts to climb, Landon turns over to Megan... then turns back to Gabe. And with no further thought on his mind, Maddix knocks the ladder over. Laying one side flat, he then drags it over to Gabe, taking The Beast's right leg - not without a fight mind you, having to kick him a couple of times to soften him up first - and placing it on the flattened side.

 

 

*CLANG!*

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

The fans positively explode, as Landon slams the ladder shut on The Beast's injured knee...

 

 

*CLANG!*

 

...a second time...

 

 

*CLANG!*

 

...a third...

 

 

 

...and on the fourth time, the ladder locks. But Landon is nothing if not resourceful and after a couple of attempts to shut the ladder with no success, he leaps up and SENTONS THE LADDER, FORCING it to close across The Beast's knee!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"Listen to those sounds!" remarks Mak. "Look at Drake's face, I don't think I've ever seen or heard him in so much pain!"

 

"Well he just got his leg sandwiched between a ladder, what do you expect him to look and sound like genius!? Just because you can't feel nothing below your waist doesn't mean he can't!!"

 

"King, you're getting hysterical..."

 

"No, YOU'RE getting hysterical!!!"

 

Sitting up, instantly Landon regrets that move as his back screams out in pain. Not literally obviously, but you get the point. Megan encourages her man to battle through it though and Landon does just that as he pulls himself to his feet. Dragging away the ladder, which doesn't seem in that great of a shape anymore, Landon sets about working the knee some more as he stomps away, time and time and time again! Gabriel shouts out in pain with every stomp, trying to pull himself under the bottom rope to get away from this attack. He doesn't make it though as Maddix ends the onslaught, only to try and drag Gabe away from the ropes. His back won't allow it though. So, he has to settle for what he can get, as he whips around the right leg and applies a Figure Four Leglock!!

 

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"Figure Four! Gabriel Drake feeling The Wrath Of Maddix, in more ways than just the goofy movename!"

 

Mind clouding with pain, Gabriel instinctively reaches out and grabs the bottom rope for a break. Of course there are no rope breaks so it's all for nought, a slow realisation from The Beast as Landon continues to try and sink the hold in tighter and tighter!

 

"So, Maddix in a wrestling match couldn't string two submissions together if his life depended on it. But throw him in a Ladder Match and he becomes Scott freakin' Preztler! I despair, I really do."

 

"Landon attempting to completely incapacitate the World Champion here. He might even put him out from the pain if he hangs on long enough, Gabriel Drake is in serious trouble here!"

 

As Gabriel begins to cuss up a veritable storm as he tries to reach out to his own legs to find a way to break the leglock, Megan scuttles around ringside. Reaching into the ring she collectes the tire iron and slides it over to Landon. Difference being, this time it's on Landon's command, The Next Generation knowing full-well his plans now as he raises the tire iron...

 

 

 

*CLANG!*

 

 

...AND STRIKES GABE DIRECTLY IN THE PATELLA WITH IT!!!

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

"He's trying to break his leg!" protests King. "Forget incapacitating, he's trying to DISABLE Gabe!"

 

"Hey, you were all for it happening the other way. Besides, Gabe'd make a much better wheelchair basketballer than Landon."

 

"I hate you."

 

Howling in pain now, Gabriel sinks down and seems to be losing fight as he grips his head in his hands. Landon seems to think it's done now. And he releases the figure four, climbing to his feet and giving Gabriel a final few vengeful words before grabbing the ladder and preparing to go for the belt.

 

"Here we go King..."

 

But Mak's anticipation is a little premature, as when Landon opens the ladder up, one of the links hangs loose at the side.

 

"Ha! Good luck climbing that, two legs or one!"

 

Landon looks at the mangled ladder as it rocks on it's feet even without anyone on it and curses to himself, throwing the broken ladder down and calling for Megan to find him another. Quickly she goes rummaging under the ring, while Landon strolls back over to Gabriel to stomp him down some more. However, he gets a little too close and Gabriel reaches out, grabbing the waistband of Landon's shorts...

 

 

...and dragging him face-first into the middle turnbuckle behind him!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

"Desperation move from the World Champion!"

 

"In the context of this match, you can't call that desperate!" King argues. "Maddix is using a tire iron for crying out loud."

 

Unaware of what just happened Megan comes back up from the apron and heaves the replacement ladder up, slides it into the ring... and only then notices that her man is seeing stars. And notices that Gabriel Drake is limping to his feet via the aid of the ropes, growling and grunting as he hops towards Landon, unable to put any weight what-so-ever on his right leg. He still manages to drag Maddix out from the corner though, slapping him around the head with a palm strike...

 

...and another...

 

 

...before spinning around on his good leg and whipping a spinning backfist across the jaw of the challenger! The Mass Murder combo leaves Landon slumped in the corner. But simple Mass Murder apparantly isn't enough for Gabriel Drake, as he turns to look Megan Skye dead in the eye, giving her a venomous look as he runs a thumb across his throat!

 

 

CHOP!

 

FOREARM!

 

CHOP!

 

FOREARM!

 

"It's a Violence Party in Syndey, Australia!" calls King jubilantly.

 

CHOP!

FOREARM!

CHOP!

FOREARM!

 

Landon begins to fall out of the corner, but Gabriel catches his head in his arms, holding him up in the process of exposing the side of the skull...

 

*THUD!*

 

HEADBUTT!

 

*THUD!*

 

HEADBUTT!

 

*THUD!*

 

HEADBUTT!

 

"#My girl likes to party all the time, party all the time, party all the tiiiime!#"

 

Landon falls to his knees. But the party isn't over yet, Gabe still holding the head...

 

 

KAWADA KICK

 

 

"AHH DAMN IT!!"

 

But this party has a little too much violence for Gabriel Drake's right leg to handle, leaving him in agony the moment he kicks Landon across the forehead! Gabe falls into the ropes and clutches at his knee, while Landon simply falls flat on his face out of the corner.

 

"Both these men are hurting now, clichéd as it sounds this really is gutcheck time." calls Mak. "Somebody has to climb that ladder and retrieve the title. Right now, I'm not sure either is capable of doing that!"

 

Still holding his knee, Gabriel looks a bit of a sorry sight as he hobbles across the ring and retrieves the ladder that Megan had brought into play. He wastes no time in setting it under the belt, gritting his teeth as he hops up from his left leg onto the first rung, landing on his left leg too.

 

"The World Champion going up again... but he's not going to be able to hop like that all the way up, that's for damn sure!"

 

"It's okay Gabe, take your time!"

 

Not that he needs any extra encouragement, Gabe does just that. Stuck on one leg, Gabe gingerly lifts his right leg to the next rung and tries to put enough weight on it to step up, even if only for a second...

 

 

 

 

 

...and he JUST about manages to go up, shifting onto his left leg and keeping his balance in the process. Barely.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

"Look at him go!" cheers King, trying to cover up for the painful progress of the World Champion.

 

Gabriel recollects himself again, finding himself on a little more of an unsteady perch to be hopping or shifting. He knows he has to climb with both legs if he's to make any progress. No matter how painful it is. Drake hasn't come this far to give up now. He didn't pursue Michael Stephens for months to give in to a bad wheel. He didn't spend years of his life in prison to be beaten by some pain in the leg. And he didn't play mind games with that pain in the leg for months to give in now.

 

Gritting his teeth again, Gabriel steps...

 

 

 

 

...and makes it up another step, but ends up feeling the effects...

 

 

 

...at the worst possible time, as Landon has stumbled back up. Reaching the ladder, he fires an uppercut into Gabriel's ribs to keep him from climbing any further for the time being. Landon then reaches up and tries to pull the Champion down, finding stern competition from The Beast who tries to shrug him off with his bad leg as best possible. Which isn't that great.

 

"Drake is in a precarious position here, halfway up the ladder with only one leg to stand on. And he can't do anything much about Landon in this position."

 

Getting nowhere trying to pull Gabe down, Landon instead starts to work on the base, the ladder itself. He gives it a couple of pushes that shake it slightly, but not enough to drop Gabe. So Landon naturally realises he needs a run-up and rushes into the side ropes...

 

 

 

 

...but Gabriel Drake has something up his sleeve for that, using his own methods to topple the ladder. However, instead of toppling it towards the announce table side as Maddix would be attempting, Gabe topples it towards the aisle...

 

 

...the same side Landon has just rebounded from...

 

 

 

 

 

*CRAAACK!*

 

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

...RUNNING RIGHT BACK INTO A SPEEDING LADDER, KNOCKING HIM DOWN WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A STEEL LARIATTTOOO~!

 

"WHAT A MOVE!!" exclaims King, as Gabe tucks and rolls on his self-inflicted tumble from the ladder, as much as possible. He still absorbs some of the fall and on his right side. But the damage done to Landon is clearly more significant this time around as he lies motionless between the two sides of the fallen ladder.

 

"HO - LY SHIT!"

"HO - LY SHIT!"

"HO - LY SHIT!"

"HO - LY SHIT!"

 

"I don't think I've EVER seen that tactic used in a Ladder Match in my life!" gasps Mak. "Gabriel Drake sacrificed himself and used his own momentum to not just knock down the ladder but virtually THROW the ladder down in the oncoming challenger's direction! And I can guarantee you, Landon never saw it coming!!"

 

"That was like getting football tackled by a player made entirely of steel. And none of that phoney-baloney 'European Football' either, full contact American Football!"

 

"And all by Gabriel propelling it forward, by propelling himself off the ladder! Unbelievable!"

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

Limping back up, the SWF Heavyweight Champion stops and assesses the wreckage with a satisfied grin on his face. Setting about clearing himself some room, Gabe props the safe ladder up in a corner for safe keeping, before bringing over the un-climbable ladder and dumping that in the centre of the ring. He flattens it out as much as it'll go before hobbling back over, retrieving Landon and picking him up. All the way up. In fact, up until he's sat on the top turnbuckle in one corner. Opening up his hand, Gabe then brushes away Landon's arms, giving him a free shot...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...with a BIG palm strike, not leaping as he usually would be getting plenty of 'oomph' behind The Right Hand Of Gabe nonetheless!

 

"That's usually the prelude to the Superplex," recalls Mak, "but I doubt that's a wise move right now."

 

And apparantly Gabriel agrees. Instead, he pulls Landon's head down a bit and applies a front chancré, already drawing worried murmurs from the crowd.

 

"I'm not so sure this is either though! He's not going to Musclebuster him, surely?"

 

"If there's a God he will! Right through the ladder!"

 

Shaking out his leg a little Gabriel sets and begins to lift Landon...

 

 

 

...but he clearly isn't comfortable, cussing to himself again as he realises his leg won't carry his own body weight let alone his and Landon's combined. Instead, he lets Landon go and steps back again...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...cracking him with the Right Hand Of Gabe again!

 

"That's a decent consolation prize, I guess." sighs King. "I tell you though, this Maddix is nothing if not lucky. He should have been dead at least three times by now and he's somehow survived. It can't hold out."

 

"It's not all 'luck'. It wasn't 'luck' that damaged Gabriel Drake's knee."

 

"No, it was a tire iron."

 

Maddix teeters dangerously to one side of the top turnbuckle, whatever instincts Landon has left prompting him to grab the top rope for safety. Meanwhile Gabe goes into Plan B as he drags the ladder from off the canvas and wedges the top rung between the top and middle turnbuckles, directly underneath Landon. Megan watches on with clear nervousness as Drake reaches up, delivering a closed fist rather than a palm strike this time before reaching up and grabbing Land

[Ace309 0]

Landon by the hair. It seems a simple biel might be the plan as he tries to grab the arm as well. Landon starts to fight though and fires down with a forearm! And another! And another! With Gabe's grip broken, Landon then grabs hold of Gabriel's black hair...

 

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

 

...and DRIVES his face down into the ladder!! Gabriel rebounds back up momentarily but stumbles, falling across the ladder. Realising that's a bad position he immediately tries to scramble out in front though, as Landon re-adjusts himself on the top rope. Just as Landon's feet meet the top rope and he begins to stand, Gabriel pulls himself off the ladder, stood at the foot of the makeshift bridge and waitng for the dive...

 

 

...Gabe ducks...

 

 

 

 

...but Maddix soars high, tucking his legs in and extending them on the descent...

 

 

 

...MUSHROOM STOMPING GABRIEL IN THE BACK...

 

 

 

 

*KE - RRAAACCKK!!*

 

 

...CAUSING HIM TO FACEPLANT DIRECTLY INTO THE LADDER WEDGED IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

Drake's body bounces violently off the ladder which provides virtually no give what-so-ever in it's position. The World Champion remains laid out, facedown on the ladder, while Landon winds up on his knees in the centre of the ring, slumping back wearily. And as he goes backwards, his gaze wanders upwards, fixing on the title belt in the sky.

 

"My God, Gabriel could be out cold!" Mak finally calls after a stunned silence. "He ATE that ladder! And this is Landon's chance, can he capitalise!? Can he climb the ladder and pull that title down into his possession for a third time?"

 

Rolling off to the side, Landon pulls the safe ladder from out of the corner and wearily snaps it open. Locking the joins in place The Next Generation then seems to have a clear route to the gold.

 

 

Which makes it all the more odd that he turns back the other way and rolls out of the ring. Megan seems confused too and rushes over to ask Landon what he's doing, but he just brushes his manager's concerns aside as he marches over to the steel guardrail, pulling aside some of the arena floor padding and grabbing a length of extension cable. The camera begins to shake a little bit more than usual as the cameraman is clearly gesturing to Landon asking what he's doing. But he too is ignored as Landon collects enough of the cable to bring back into the ring with him.

 

"Oh my God, he's gonna kill him!" cries King, a little melodramatically.

 

"I sincerely doubt that King. But, it's clear Landon has something in mind."

 

Landon rolls into the ring and drags Drake's seemingly lifeless body off of the ladder, sliding the buckled ladder out of the way as he turns Gabriel so that his legs face the ringpost. And showing off his best boy scout skills, La Cucaracha begins to wrap the length of cord around the ringpost. The crowd seem to sense what's happening and all start to stand up and crane their necks to get a better view, as Landon wraps the rest of the cable around Drake's right ankle. Drake is too groggy, if conscious at all, to do anything about it as Landon comes up satisfied and sarcastically pats his opponent on the shoulder as he hobbles over to the standing ladder and begins his climb.

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"You've got to be KIDDING ME!" howls King. "You have GOT to be KIDDING ME!"

 

"Gabriel Drake is all tied up, he's out of reach... Landon has a free run to the gold! There's no-one to stop him unless Drake can get untied, but I don't think he even knows what's happened yet!"

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

Still it's a pretty pained climb from Landon, not speedy at all as the match was supposedly built on. But with Drake only just coming too, it looks like it may not matter. Maddix makes it to the halfway point of the ladder before he notices Gabriel on his way back up, the first shot we see of him with blood streaming from The Beast's mouth! Still, The Beast isn't called The Beast for nothing and if anything it seems to fuel him more, the taste of his own blood. And with fists clenched, he hops to his feet and stomps forward...

 

 

 

 

 

...and falls flat on his face!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Gabriel looks a little confused for a moment, understandably considering his head is probably throbbing still. But after a look around him he notices the thick electrical cable tangled around his ankle. And as he pulls at it, he also realises how tight the tie is! Face like thunder, Gabriel looks back up.

 

 

And Landon is stood halfway up the ladder.

 

 

Waving!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"Oh you son of a..."

 

King's fury is easily surpassed by that of Gabriel Drake, who positively LOSES IT and begins to tug at the electrical cable with all his might (probably not the safest thing to do). The fact it's tied tight around his right ankle means he can only do so for so long before he leg begins to sear white hot, so he quickly tries to rationalise, sits down and starts to work on the knot...

 

 

 

...as now, Maddix continues his climb, grinning from ear to ear already...

 

 

 

"He's not going to make it, Drake can't get it untied..."

 

 

 

...Gabriel still picking at the knot, looking up despairingly as he sees Landon two rungs from the top...

 

 

...reaching...

 

 

 

 

...THE KNOT COMES UNTIED...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...BUT SO DOES THE BELT, RIGHT INTO LANDON'S CRADLED ARMS!!!!!

 

 

"YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

 

"HE DIDN'T MAKE IT!! MADDIX GOT THE BELT!! MADDIX GOT THE BELT!!"

 

Just seconds too late Gabriel lunges on one leg into the ladder. Maddix is already prepped and ready to jump and is able to land safely and wastes no time what-so-ever in diving right out of the ring before Drake can make a second attack. All he cares about is that the SWF World Title is back in his grasp... and that he's able to grasp anything.

 

The sound of a headset being slammed into the canvas can be heard over the cheers. No prizes for guessing who was responsible.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... and the NNEEEEEEEWWWW SMARTMARKS WRESTLING FEDERATION WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... LLLAAAANNDDOOONN "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!"

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Gabriel Drake sits in the ring and looks like he's about to lose his mind as he glares at Funyon, venomously enough that the SWF's trusty ring announcer decides to hedge his bets starting in the crowd should a footrace ensude. Drake's attention then turns, to Maddix and Megan in the aisleway.

 

"For the third time, Landon Maddix is the SWF World's Champion! It came not without risk, not without injury and not without a little bit of controversy on our now ex-Champion's part. But Landon Maddix will not care, because he has survived From The Fire! He has avenged 2005! He has avenged Gabriel Drake's abduction of Megan Skye. He is... Champion!"

 

From the safety of the aisleway, Landon has no qualms about dropping his previously serious demeanour. Smirking, Landon places the SWF Championship over Megan's shoulder and shrugs his own, as Drake points a threatening finger from the ring, warning him in no uncertain terms that 'he'll pay'. But for tonight, Landon could care less.

 

"Megan had a plan. Landon had a plan. And now, they have the SWF World Heavyweight Championship! I love it when a plan comes together! From a strangely silent Suicide King, this is Mak Francis saying goodnight from From The Fire! We will see you next week on Storm!!"

 

 

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The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation: “Raising workrate by adding ladders(?)”