PROMO: La Hardcore-acha?

[King Cucaracha 0]

In the honeymoon suite of their luxury hotel (assuming Northern Ireland has them of course), there's plenty of tension in the room of our erstwhile Commissioner and his 'first lady'. The air is hot. Sweat is being shed. And low moans can be heard... as Thomas M. Flesher muses over his cards.

 

Yes, they're playing poker. Obviously.

 

With a wry smile on his face, Tom surveys his hand and pushes a heap of chips into the centre of the table. Allison, who judging from her attire isn't faring to well in this game of what seems to be strip poker, just looks confused. With Tom looking at her intently though, she pushes a few chips in herself, against her better judgment. Much to Tom's frustration, it's at this point that his phone decides to start vibrating. Obedient as ever, Allison answers it and it doesn't take long for her face to drop as some muffled noise can he heard. As Tom pours himself a little more drink he looks at Allison inquisitively, to which she simply mouths one word. 'Landon'.

 

"Oh jeez." Tom sets down his drink. "Tell you what, put him on speakerphone."

 

Allison, after a little explanation to Landon of course, does just that.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Tom Flesher's office."

 

"Tom, it's Landon. We need to talk about this week and what you've got me doing for the show."

 

"Don't tell me, you can't make it. What is it... missed flight? Sudden illness? Snakebite? Piano recital? Don't be shy, I've heard them all."

 

"No, no, it's not that. It's just that... well, apparantly, you've got me booked against Jimmy The Doom and I just wanted to check that this was right. And... you know, final. Because I'm really not..."

 

"You heard right Landon." Tom smiles, causing some murmurs on the other end of the phone. "You and Jimmy, one on one. For the belt no less. I pulled a few strings for you, just to show there's no hard feelings between us. Strictly a business disagreement."

 

"Yeah... see, uhm, I'm not... I'm not sure I understand what I've done to warrant a Hardcore Title shot. I don't fell comfortable. You know, because there's so many other people more qualified than me? Yeah?"

 

"Judging by my calendar, Jimmy's held the belt for a full year now. 365 days and counting. That's unprecedented, an amazing accomplishment. But it poses a problem from a booking standpoint, because Jimmy's gone through the entire division in the space of that year. He's virtually unstoppable. Familiarity breeds contempt. And to stop the fans from getting tired of Jimmy, he needs some new challengers. So, it just so happens, you're a fresh challenger. And, you just happen to have an 'open schedule' currently. It's a natural solution."

 

"Okay. But, I still don't..."

 

"You're not grateful for the opportunity of a title-shot? Bearing in mind our little conversation last week?"

 

"Uhm, what is 'No'?"

 

"..."

 

"Look, Tom, I'm not a hardcore wrestler. I've never been a hardcore wrestler. I've never had any real desire to be a hardcore wrestler!"

 

"Nonsense!" Tom smirks. "Come on Landon. Just think about everything you've done in the past. Cage Matches. Ladder Matches. Tables Matches. TLC Matches. Boiler Room Brawls. Bible On A Pole Matches. Office Brawls. Casino Brawls. That 'Mouse Trap Match' with Annie..."

 

"Oh God, don't remind me."

 

"I know. But look, the point is, your track record speaks for itself. You might not be a hardcore wrestler in name, per se, but you're a hardcore wrestler in practise. If nothing else, you can take one HELL of a beating. And I'm pretty confident that's what our fans want to see in the Hardcore Division. I know that's what I'd like to see."

 

"...I'm sorry, I didn't hear that last bit. The reception on this piece of junk stinks."

 

"Oh, it's not important." Tom chuckles, before getting serious suddenly. "Hey, you realise Nokia are trying to work out a sponsorship deal with us, right?"

 

"...what? Seriously Tom, this Nokia your guys in marketing gave me... piece of shi... hello? Can you still hear me? Hello?"

 

"Yes I can still hear you." sighs Tom, as he visualises thousands of dollars of sponsorship money going down the drain.

 

"Look, I realise you want me out of the World Title picture. I get that. But, do you seriously have to go and stick me in the Hardcore Division? It didn't work when Bruce was the champ, it didn't work when Van Siclen was champ... hell, Jimmy beat me not that long ago! Why couldn't you have at least stuck me with the Cruiserweight Division if you had to punish me?"

 

"Well, it doesn't sound like much of a punishment if you're asking for it now, does it. C'mon Landon, play the game. Besides, it's probably going to be good practise for you, considering the path you're going down."

 

"Uh... what's that supposed to mean?"

 

"Oh, nothing."

 

"What does you mean the path I'm going down?"

 

"No... Landon, I'm sorry, you're breaking up on me."

 

"If you're planning something..."

 

"All... all I hear is static... hello? Hello!?"

 

"Come on Tom, can't we work somethi..."

 

Tom ends the call with a flourishing whip of the hand, smirking to himself as he grabs his glass of bourbon again.

 

"I knew this'd be fun. So, what have you got?"

[Guest WhollyChao]

Oh, that's why he's fighting for the hardcore title...

 

Makes sense.

 

Nice promo, it let us see some more of Maddix' personality.

 

 

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

I'm in trouble because this time around, I don't have the advantage of hitting Maddix with a steel goose.

 

What? Nobody else remembers our match at that crappy Peace Arch and the sculpture exhibit that Landon most likely no-showed?

 

What ever