Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted July 27, 2007 (edited) TV-14 L,V * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! We fade in on a beach in California. People are shown having a good time. Tropical music plays. NOT VINCE McMAHON, BUT A VERY CLOSE SOUNDALIKE IT'S SUMMERTIME! WHICH MEANS FUN AT THE BEACH! Cut to three buxom blondes walking down the beach wearing bikinis. NOT-VINCE BEAUTIFUL BABES WEARING VERY LITTLE CLOTHING! Cut to a what is presumbly a shot of a bunch of college kids getting drunk during Spring Break, but for the sake of this segment, we'll pretend it's summer. NOT-VINCE AND MEMORIES THAT'LL LAST A LIFETIME! Cut to a shot of Big Ben. A majestic royal horn plays. We then return to the tropical music. NOT-VINCE TONIGHT, THE OAOAST TRAVELS TO LONDON, ENGLAND... Cut to Colombian Heat walking down the entrance ramp. NOT-VINCE WHERE YOU'LL SEE FUN AT THE BEACH! (Not really.) Cut to shots of Chicks Over Dicks and Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez walking down the entrance ramp. NOT-VINCE BEAUTIFUL BABES WEARING VERY LITTLE CLOTHING! Cut to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, Zack Malibu, and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican getting into a three-way yelling contest. NOT-VINCE AND MEMORIES THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME! Cut to another shot of London, England. NOT-VINCE THE SUMMER'S JUST HEATING UP HERE IN THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD! IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING SATURDAY NIGHT EDITION OF OAOAST SYNDICATED! "ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND AROUND THE WORLD..." The OAOAST Syndicated theme song starts playing (have we settled on what it is yet, guys?). The OAOAST Syndicated logo fades away, replaced with a shot of the hyped up crowd at the O2 Arena in London, England. The camera does a wide pan of the sold out crowd inside the recently opened arena. Loyal British OAOAST fans are in attendance, holding up their handmade signs, mugging for the camera, and generally going wild as they are thrill to be having One And Only AngleSault Thread action in their own backyard. The set is the same as always: an AngleTron sitting on top of scaffolding, with only some curtains used for the wrestlers to enter through. However, since we're in England, there's also a little twist: two gigantic United Kingdom flags hang on both sides of the entrance. The following words appear on the top left hand corner of the screen: LONDON, ENGLAND TONY SCHIAVONE (Off-Screen) The OAOAST takes a trip across the pond as we continue the countdown to our annual summertime spectacular, AngleSlam! Welcome to another Saturday night edition of OAOAST Syndicated! SWOOP~ on down to our hosts for this evening, standing on top of the world famous OAOAST INTERVIEW STAGE~! More cheering fans are behind them. The OAOAST Syndicated theme song (whatever it is) dies down. TONY SCHIAVONE Hello everybody, I'm Tony Schiavone, and with me as always is the legendary Hall of Famer, former Governor of Minnesota, Jesse "The Body" Ventura! And fans, do not touch that dial AT ALL over the course of this program, because we have got one HELL of a show for you tonight! Isn't that right, Jess? JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA I'll tell ya what, Tony Schiavone! AngleSlam may be a month away, but we have got a card tonight that could conceiveably BE the AngleSlam card too! It's like we're being blessed with TWO AngleSlams in one year! SCHIAVONE It certainly feels that way, Jess. We always have something special planned for these primetime Syndicateds, and this one is no different. 5 excellent matches are planned for you tonight, including our main event, a "Dream Partner Tag Team Match". The three men who will collide for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title at AngleSlam will be in action later on tonight as the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, teams up with his AngleSlam opponent, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, to take on the other man in the AngleSlam main event, Zack Malibu, and a partner of his choosing! And Jess, the lockerroom is abuzzed with just who Zack Malibu will pick for this GIGANTIC main event! VENTURA Zack has had some great partners in the past. Caboose, Leon Rodez, Evenflow, The Superstar. There's alot of hype as to who he picked to help him take on Tha Puerto Rican and Landon Maddix, two guys who personally can't stand each other, but who are teaming up in the hopes of making the Triple Threat Match at AngleSlam into an one-on-one encounter! SCHIAVONE It's all about Divide And Conquer in our main event. PRL and Maddix have agreed to put aside their differences in order to remove Zack Malibu from AngleSlam! But can they do it? Can they actually put Zack Malibu on the shelf and make him miss the 2007 AngleSlam? VENTURA Well, you never know, but if the Bruce Blank feud taught us anything about Zack Malibu, it's that as long as there's a breath in his body, he will fight! SCHIAVONE And that's a lesson Landon Maddix and Tha Puerto Rican need to take very seriously if they want to leave AngleSlam on August 26th the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Speaking of AngleSlam, it may be five weeks away, but the card is already shaping up to be the biggest AngleSlam EVER! And two more matches may be added to that card tonight! Colombian Heat, the new OAOAST 24/7 Champion, will take on James Riggs in a non-title contest. However, if James Riggs wins, then he gets a 24/7 Title shot against Colombian Heat at AngleSlam. And we've also got the 16-man Battlebowl Battle Royal with the winner to meet Alfdogg for the WDW World Heavyweight Championship at AngleSlam on August 26th! VENTURA The WDW has folded, but the OAOAST has accepted all the wrestlers and the belts with open arms. And now tonight, 16 wrestlers from the OAOAST and WDW will duke it out in the squared circle, with the winner to meet a future OAOAST Hall of Famer in Alfdogg at AngleSlam from Madison Square Garden in New York City! Talk about a golden opprotunity right there! SCHIAVONE Indeed it is, Jess. Battlebowl qualifying matches were held all month long, and the Sweet 16 will rumble in the ring later on tonight! Just look at some of the names involved: "After Hours" Felix Strutter, Thunderkid, both members of Team Heyross, Jumbo, "Sensational" Chris Stevens, MISTER WARRIOR! VENTURA How did MISTER WARRIOR get involved in this!? SCHIAVONE He has his ways, Jess. He's not like us mere mortals! VENTURA SCHIAVONE ...Moving on. In addition to the matches just mentioned, we've also got TWO title matches scheduled for tonight, including one with a very unique stipulation. The OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Championship will be on the line as the Champions, The Beverly Hills Blonds and Christopher Patrick Allen, CPA, take on the team of D*LUX and "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez! And then, are you ready for this one, Jess? VENTURA Oh yeah! I most certainly am, Tony Schiavone! SCHIAVONE Chicks Over Dicks will take on the team of Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez in a Tag Team Bra And Panties Match for what is, at least currently, the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles! First time in OAOAST history that the Tag Team Titles will be defended in this type of a match-up, Jess. VENTURA Thank God all the participants involved are women! I am most looking forward to this one, Schiavone! Four of the most beautiful women on TV are going to be clawing at each other, trying to rip each others clothes off, all for the tag team gold! It combines two of my favorite things: hot women and tag team wrestling! What gods did I please? SCHIAVONE Theodore Moneymaker hopes this match will be the last stand of Chicks Over Dicks. VENTURA In this type of match-up, it's a level playing field. You don't really have to rely on any wrestling skills. All you have to do is, well, strip your opponents down to their bra and panties. Jade was worried going into this match, but all she has to do is make sure Alix and Krista are in their underwear at the end of this match, and she and Mackenzie AT LEAST have a shirt or pants or skirt on. I'm secretly hoping that we have a little 'wardrobe malfunction' with all four of the ladies, if you know what I mean. SCHIAVONE I'm sure red blooded heterosexual males all over the world will stay up late just to watch that match! Skin To Win is the name of the game. This will certainly go down as an OAOAST Syndicated for the ages! THREE matches that you will only see here tonight on OAOAST Syndicated, TWO title matches, ONE HELL of a show from the just recently opened O2 Arena in Jolly ol' London, England! Now, let's go to the ring for our opening match on the July 2007 edition of OAOAST Syndicated! Michael Buffer, take it away! *DING DING DING* Edited July 30, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2007 (edited) MICHAEL COLE Michael Cole here along with Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman, ready to call all the action on tonight's late night episode of OAOAST Syndicated! A piano plays a melody causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *"COME ON!"* *BOOM~!* COLE OAOAST Syndicated is about to feel the Heat! Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The crowd's cheers get even louder as Colombian Heat charges out from the curtains, the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt wrapped around his waist. Heat gets the crowd fired up by jumping up and down and waving his hands in the air. COLE Here he is! The most 'crunk' 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history! JONATHON "DA COACH" COACHMAN Oh please. Colombian Heat points to the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt around his waist, and then says, "You like it? Yeah, I like it too!" Heat raises his hands acknowledging his fans. Colombian Heat points to both sides of the O2 Arena, and then begins his walk to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. MICHAEL BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty-minute TV time limit, with a special stipulation, that if James Riggs can defeat Colombian Heat, then he will meet him again, this time for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship at OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 on August 26th. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He is the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEE-- James Riggs attacks Colombian Heat from behind! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Colombian Heat falls face first onto the floor! Riggs starts stomping on Colombian Heat! Riggs' wife, Staci, appears, and cheers her husband on. COACH Smart move by James! Get him when he least expects it! COLE He's trying to get a head start, that's for sure! COACH He wants this title shot at AngleSlam more than you could ever know! He WANTS to become the OAOAST 24/7 Champion SOOOOO badly! It's his primary objective these days! Riggs continues stomping on Colombian Heat. The crowd boos loudly. Heat is already feeling pain. JR takes the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt off of Colombian Heat's waist and then shoves it into his face. JAMES RIGGS IT'S MINE! IT'S GOING TO BE MINE! Riggs throws the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt aside and continues beating on Colombian Heat while Staci looks on. COLE Colombian Heat is being manhandled right now! Damnit! Why doesn't the referee stop this!? COACH The bell hasn't even rung yet, Michael! They can do whatever they want to with no bother! COLE Damnit! This isn't right! This isn't right at all, damnit! Colombian Heat, coughing violently, crawls towards the ringside area. James Riggs taunts Heat, telling him to get up. When he doesn't, Riggs grabs Heat by his yellow basketball jersey and whips him into the steel steps! COLE Oh come on! Somebody stop this! COACH Once again, Mikey! The bell hasn't rung yet, so there's nothing the ref can do about it! COLE He's an OAOAST Official! I'm sure he can do something! COACH He can't. Now shut up and enjoy the carnage. Colombian Heat hit the ring steps left shoulder first. Riggs stops to chuckle evilly at what he's done. The crowd boos. Staci nods her head, approving her husband's actions. Heat is already breathing heavily. Riggs walks with a swagger in his step and picks Colombian Heat up. He punches Heat in the face! Colombian Heat falls! COLE James Riggs has struck first blood! He's not taking any chances! He wants to win and get a 24/7 Title shot at AngleSlam! COACH He has to. If he loses, who knows when he'll get another chance at the Title? This is his one and only shot. He must take it TONIGHT! COLE James Riggs striking like a piranha! COACH A piranha with a very hot wife! COLE What? COACH You heard me. I ain't changing it for nobody! COLE Aw geeze. Colombian Heat slowly gets up. James Riggs helps him up, and then punches him in the face. Riggs then throws Colombian Heat into the ring. Staci arrogantly walks to ringside. Referee Nick Soapdish calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLOMBIAN HEAT vs. JAMES RIGGS (with Staci) (If James Riggs wins, then he gets a shot at the OAOAST 24/7 Championship at OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 on August 26th.) James Riggs climbs the top rope. He gets into position, and then dives off, hitting Colombian Heat with a knee drop from the top rope! Riggs goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT! COLE Riggs came close, but Heat is still in this contest! Riggs is pissed that his ambush has failed thus far. JR picks the groggy Colombian Heat up and takes him over to a turnbuckle. Riggs punches Colombian Heat a few times, and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner--Heat reverses!--Riggs hits the turnbuckle sternum first! COLE Wow! I felt that one! JR collapses onto the mat. Staci is now worried for her husband. Colombian Heat power walks on over to the turnbuckle and climbs to the top. COLE Colombian Heat is going to fly! COACH Riggs, get out of the way! Staci, do something for your man! Save him! Heat positions himself on the top rope, looks down at Riggs, and then jumps off, twisting his body in mid-air, and crashing into James Riggs with the Straight From Da Street! COLE Straight From Da Street! The Sky Twister Press! It's one of Colombian Heat's trademarks! Heat wants to end this match early! Colombian Heat covers James Riggs. ONE! TWO! NO!!! Staci breathes a sigh of relief. COLE James Riggs kicked out in the nick of time! He still has a chance of going to AngleSlam to compete for the 24/7 Title! COACH It's going to happen, Michael! It's going to happen tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! Heat gets up, more determined than ever to finish this match. He picks James Riggs up, and then covers him with a La Magistral Cradle! 1...2...KICK OUT! STACI COME ON JAMES! COLE Staci yelling words of encouragement to her husband. You know she wants to make an appearance at AngleSlam! COACH It should be mandatory for Staci to appear at every single OAOAST event, wearing very little clothing, and sitting on Da Coach's lap, feeding me strawberries. COLE I set myself up for that didn't I? COACH Yes you did. Colombian Heat picks JR up. Heat grabs Riggs' left arm and twists it into an arm-wringer. Riggs falls to the mat, tumbles forward, kips up, and then reverses the arm-wringer into one of his own. Heat kips up, tumbles forward, and then reverses the arm-wringer again! He follows that up by kicking Riggs in the stomach, kicking him in the chest, and then giving him a spinning heel kick to the face, knocking him down! COLE Riggs is down! COACH Oh crap! Heat goes for the cover. It gets two. Colombian Heat picks James Riggs up. Heat grabs Riggs' right hand and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Riggs reverses--Heat bounces off the ropes. Riggs goes for a kick, but Heat catches JR's left foot! However, Riggs fires back with an enziguiri! COLE Oh my! What an enziguiri from James Riggs! Great counter! COACH He's keeping up with Colombian Heat! That alone should give him a title shot! COLE He must pin Colombian Heat or make him submit if he wants that 24/7 Title shot at AngleSlam, Coach! COACH He's gonna get it. I can feel it in the air! Riggs goes for the cover. It gets two. He gets into an argument with Nick Soapdish. The leader of JR Nation sneers at the referee and then goes back to work, getting back onto his feet so that he can stomp Colombian Heat while he's down. Heat lets out a painful yell after each stomp on the back! COLE Riggs on the offensive. This is his match to win, remember! If he gets the victory, then he faces Colombian Heat again in five weeks at AngleSlam! COACH And if this match is any indication, what a match that's going to be! COLE He still hasn't won yet, Coach! COACH He sure looks like he's going to right now, Michael! Hell, we should start planning his celebration party when he wins the 24/7 Title on August 26th! COLE Let's not go that far, Coach. Don't count your chickens before they hatch! COACH I'll count them anytime I want to, because I'm Da Coach! That's why! COLE Why couldn't they have stuck me with Ventura? JR picks Colombian Heat up. A "HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!" chant starts up. Riggs grabs Heat by his left hand and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Riggs puts his head down, so Colombian Heat takes that as the perfect opportunity to stop in his tracks and kick James Riggs right in his face! COACH Watch it! He could have broken his nose with that one! Colombian Heat grabs James Riggs, and gives him a Northern Lights Suplex! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE He got him! COACH No! No! Riggs' foot was on the ropes! That shouldn't count! Indeed, Riggs right foot was on the bottom rope at the count of 3. Heat gets up to celebrate what he thinks is a victory, and the crowd is right alongside him. COACH You idiot! You didn't win squat! There's still a match going on! And THIS guy is our 24/7 Champion? Nick Soapdish tells Colombian Heat that Riggs foot was on the ropes. Heat is obviously disappointed by this. Not disappointed by this is Staci, who now has a smile on her gorgeous face. COLE Riggs almost lost his chance at a 24/7 Title shot! Luckily for him, the ref saw his mistake. COACH Great officiating! It's about time we had some in the OAOAST! Kudos ref, whoever you are! COLE His name is Nick Soapdish. COACH Like I care what his name is. Colombian Heat (and the fans) are disappointed that the 3 count wasn't the real 3 count. The crowd starts booing. James Riggs takes this time out to slowly crawl underneath the bottom rope to catch a breather on the outside. COLE We still got a match going on. COACH That was the momentum shifting, Michael! Now, things are going to go James Riggs way from now on! JR is breathing heavily on the outside. He rests his head on the ring apron. Colombian Heat, after getting a stern talking to from the ref, sees Riggs, and decides to do something. What does he do, you ask? Well, he grabs the top rope, and slingshots himself over it onto Riggs with a Pescado! COLE Whoa! Oh my! What a maneuver from Colombian Heat! COACH What!? Come on now, Riggs! This is your moment! Your opportunity! Destiny is staring you right in the face! MAKE A MOVE NOW! Colombian Heat gets on top of Riggs and starts hammering away. He taunts Riggs while doing so. COLE Colombian Heat was ambushed at the start of this match, and it looks like he's now returning the favor! COACH That low life thug! OF COURSE, he would be doing that! COLE How come you didn't say anything earlier when James Riggs attacked Colombian Heat at the entrance? COACH That's called smart wrestling! Colombian Heat is attacking James Riggs for no real reason! COLE Oh come on! Colombian Heat picks James Riggs up by his long blonde hair, calling him a "punk jigger" in the process. Heat throws Riggs back into the ring. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" Colombian Heat picks Riggs up and nails him with several forearms to the face. He then whips him into the ropes. Riggs bounces off the ropes, into a spinning wheel kick from Heat--NO! Riggs grabs Heat, and turns the spinning wheel kick attempt into a German Suplex! COACH Beautiful counter! ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! COLE James Riggs with a close one right there! COACH We're getting closer baby! We're getting closer! COLE Riggs using everything he can think of to get the victory here tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! The OAOAST Starbucks Double Shot Instant Replay shows Colombian Heat's Northern Lights Suplex again. COLE Heat thought he had the victory right here. COACH Well, he didn't. And after tonight, he knows just what's in store for him on August 26th! And something tells me he's not looking forward to that day! COLE Once again, wait until the bell rings and Riggs hand is raised in victory, IF that even happens! COACH Nobody puts Coach in the corner! Riggs gets back up, and he picks Colombian Heat up too. Riggs whips Heat into the ropes. He follows with a belly-to-back suplex! JR goes for the cover, hooking Heat's right leg! 1...2...KICK OUT! COLE He didn't get him that time. COACH He will soon! Riggs is annoyed that it was only a two count. He wipes the sweat off of his forehead and flicks it at Heat. He says something to the OAOAST 24/7 Champion and then picks him up. Riggs applies a facelock on Heat, puts Heat's left arm over his head, grabs his orange basketball shorts, and then lifts him up for a suplex--Heat lands right behind Riggs, jumps up onto Riggs' shoulders, and then rolls through with a victory roll! 1... 2... 3!!! NO!!!! RIGGS REVERSES!!! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICK OUT!!!!!!!!! COACH NO! Staci says the same thing at ringside. Riggs yells out, "COME ON REF!" Both he and Heat are feeling fatigued already. JR slowly gets up first, IN ANGER~!. JR picks Colombian Heat up and whips him into a turnbuckle--NO--Heat reverses--NO--Riggs reverses that! Heat hits the turnbuckle--which has no top turnbuckle pad! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! COACH Hey, what do you know? No turnbuckle pad! Colombian Heat clutches his back in horrible pain. James Riggs heads to the opposite turnbuckle. The camera shows the top turnbuckle pad lying on the floor next to Staci. Riggs does a forward roll...and smashes his right foot right into Colombian Heat's face! COLE Rolling Wheel Kick! Rolling Wheel Kick from James Riggs! COACH Yes! Yes! He got it! He got it! COLE But how did--how did the turnbuck--what the hell is going on!? Colombian Heat flops face first onto the mat! Staci is all smiles on the outside! James Riggs rolls Colombian Heat onto his back and covers him, hooking his left leg. Nick Soapdish makes the count. COACH Come on! Come on! Make with the count already! 1... 2... 2 1/2 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (4:30) COLE And James Riggs is going to AngleSlam! "Dani California" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers starts playing. Riggs pumps his fists in victory, while Staci jumps up and down and squeals in delight. The crowd boos loudly. COACH Yes! I told you so! I. Told. You. So! James Riggs has beaten Colombian Heat! James. Riggs. Has. Beat. Ten. Colombian. Heat! Who's the man!? Who's The Man!? BUFFER Here is your winner...JAMMMMMMEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS RIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Colombian Heat is holding his face in pain. James Riggs gets up and raises his hands in victory. He puts five fingers in the air, and then does the "I-Want-The-Belt" hand gesture. Despite feeling some pain, Riggs is all smiles as Nick Soapdish raises his hands in victory again. COLE James Riggs has defeated Colombian Heat, certainly under controversial circumstances, but it doesn't matter, as now another match has been added to AngleSlam on August the 26th! Colombian Heat will defend the OAOAST 24/7 Title against James Riggs one-on-one, and if tonight is any indication, then Riggs might be more of a threat than Heat thought! COACH 'MIGHT be more of a threat'? Nigga, is you crazy!? James Riggs IS the next 24/7 Champion! He's the uncrowned Champion as far as I'm concerned. He proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he deserved a title shot tonight, and now he's going to get his rightful shot in five weeks at AngleSlam! JR Nation is greatly anticipating the 26th of August where Mr. James Riggs will grab his first piece of OAOAST gold! Riggs raises his hands in victory some more as "Dani California" continues playing. Nick Soapdish checks on Colombian Heat. COLE The Rolling Wheel Kick sealed the deal although that missing turnbuckle pad certainly played a part! I wonder if--Staci WAS very close to that turnbuckle! COACH Are you saying that Staci took off the turnbuckle pad herself? COLE Well, now that you mentioned it-- COACH No--oh no! No! No! No! Staci would never do such a thing! Never in a million years! Staci is too sweet. Too pure. Too innocent to do something as unlawful as that! COLE Unlawful? Coach, you were sitting a few feet away from her! Come on now! It's quite obvious! COACH No! No way! I refuse to believe it! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! No way! COLE Coach, Staci did take off the turnbuckle pad, and you know it! She helped James Riggs get this victory! COACH Riggs won using his tenacity, his strength, and his talent! Staci had nothing to do with it! Well, she was there for moral support, but that's it! THAT'S IT! COLE Oh give me a break! COACH She didn't do anything! She's innocent! INNOCENT! INNOCENT! COLE Coach come on! COACH People always trying to bring the rich and famous down! O.J., Michael Vick, Staci. You just can't handle people being better than you! Don't blame them. Look in the mirror every once in a while why don't ya!? This is just another example of White America trying to keep the Rich White Girl down! COLE Oh will you stop!? James Riggs stops to speak directly to the camera. JAMES RIGGS Five more weeks...it's mine! It's all mine! COLE James Riggs now has a shot at the 24/7 Title! He'll have to fight Colombian Heat once again at AngleSlam on August 26th! Let's take a look at the instant replay. The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Cut the ending of the match, starting with James Riggs giving Colombian Heat an Irish whip into the turnbuckle corner. COACH Okay. So, Riggs whipped Colombian Heat into the corner right? Well, Heat reversed it, but thankfully, my man Riggs reversed that! BAM! Heat's back hit that corner HARD! Then, watch this. Watch this. BOOM! JR follows that up with the Rolling Wheel Kick, the same move that will give him the 24/7 Title at AngleSlam! Heat's out like a light. He falls down like a sack of bricks. JR goes for the cover. 1. 2. 3. Your winner, the FUTURE One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, JAMES RIGGS! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. James Riggs has left the ring and is hugging and kissing Staci. The husband and wife duo smile evilly as "Dani California" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers continues playing. James Riggs puts his left arm over Staci's shoulders. They gloat over Riggs' victory as they walk to the entrance. COLE What a way to start off this edition of OAOAST Syndicated! An exciting, action packed, fast paced match that will now serve as a preview of what's coming up in five weeks at AngleSlam! Another match added to the already stellar AngleSlam 2007 card, James Riggs looks to go 2-0 against Colombian Heat, and this time, get the 24/7 Title in the process! COACH This match will be talked about for a LONG time! James Riggs is about to break out in the OAOAST, Mikey. This match will be his coming out party! JR Nation, it's time to celebrate! COLE Time will tell, Coach. But James Riggs can certainly celebrate tonight! He got a victory over the current OAOAST 24/7 Champion, and now has himself a 24/7 Title shot! And that match will happen, fans, August 26th, 2007 at OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 live from Madison Square Garden in New York City, New York. And speaking of AngleSlam, tonight's show will have a profound effect on AngleSlam. Every match involves wrestlers who already got a match to look forward to at our 6th annual summertime spectacular, including one match that will determine ANOTHER match that will take place at AngleSlam, that being the 16-man Battlebowl! Plus, the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Titles will be on the line, the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles will be defended in a Tag Team Bra And Panties Match-- COACH Woo-hoo! Umm...is it too late to involve Staci in that match? COLE I'm afraid it is, Coach. COACH Dang! Oh well. BRING ON THE TITTAYS~! COLE Ugh. Also, don't forget fans, our main event. The Dream Partner Tag Team Match featuring all three competitors in the AngleSlam main event AND a mystery partner. Who's it going to be? We'll find out later tonight! We've still got a hell of a lot more to come fans! So stay tuned! We got to take a break, but OAOAST Syndicated will be right back right after these messages! COACH BOOBIES~! COLE Oh will you stop!? James Riggs taunts some fans at ringside. He and Staci walk to the entrance, JR's left arm over Staci's shoulders, evil smiles on both of their faces. Riggs raises his right hand in the air in victory and laughs manically. Colombian Heat is slowly getting up, depressed over his defeat. James Riggs and Staci exit through the curtains, Riggs' left arm still over Staci's shoulders and his right hand still up in the air in victory, as "Dani California" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers continues playing. The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. THE VOICE~! Coming up next...the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Titles make their return to the screen as The Beverly Hills Blonds and Christopher Patrick Allen defend their Titles against the team of "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez and D*LUX! * COMMERCIAL BREAK * Edited July 30, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2007 Three Titles HI-YAH Tag Team Championship, WDW Tag team Championship, OAOAST World Tag Team Championship All alike in dignity In fair Minneapolis where we lay our scene From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean From forth the fatal brawl of these six foes The Heavenly Rockers WDW Tag Team Champions Team Heyross HI-YAH Tag Team champions The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew D*LUX The South Central Militia OAOAST World Tag Team Champions Chicks Over Dicks A group of star-crossed titles are unified One and Only World Tag Team Championship HeldDOWN~! August 2nd, Minneapolis, Minnesota Tag Team Scramble Cage Match to crown the first ever One and Only World Tag Team Champions. SCHIAVONE Well Jess', a great way to kick off the show here. Our first show in jolly old England for quite a while and they are buzzing about the big main-event tonight, the 'Dream Partners Tag Team Match'. The question on everybody's lips is, just who is Zack Malibu's Dream Partner going to be as he takes on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Landon Maddix and his partner, Tha Puerto Rican? VENTURA You know Schiavone, it's pretty obvious, to me at least, that given the choice Zack's real 'dream partner' would be none other than American Idol winner, Kelly Clarkson! No offense to Candie if she's watching. However, I sure hope for his sake he's chosen a lot wiser than that, because he's gonna taking on his two AngleSlam opponents, both with one common goal. To take out one of the challengers and slash the odds of coming outta New York City as the World's Heavyweight Champion come August 26th! SCHIAVONE Well, a lot of speculation. Of course, we are here in England, so... Suddenly, Schiavone is forced to bail as someone has barged their way up into the announce position high in the arena. As Schiavone manages to avoid tripping over his chair, he and Jesse both step aside, as the suddenly excited crowd pick up the cause of the interrupting. NATHANIEL BLACK. NATHANIEL BLACK (in a thick Cockney accent) You know what, you're damn bloody right we're in London, England!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BLACK And for all of you who don't know who I am, I am Nathaniel Black. England's #1. The UK's #1. Europe's #1. And right now, I've got somethin' to say! For the past month, I'd been workin' over at World Domination Wrestling on and off, rebuildin' my name over in America. Three years ago, I debuted for this stinking company and from day... bloody... ONE, I was mis-treated and mis-used by the jobsworth wankers in charge! They said my way of wrestlin', the British way of wrestlin', wasn't what an American audience wanted to see. And they told me I didn't have the 'charisma' or the personality to be a star. They told me that I'd never make it. And you know what. I told them to piss off and I went to Japan. Pacing around the small area around the table, Black runs his hand over his spiky hair. BLACK I made big in HI-YAH. I proved myself, to the point that I could come back to the US as an international star. But now... see now, I've got nowhere to go. The OAOAST has turned around and like the typical Yanks that they are, they fell like they're entitled to run the god-damn world! They've bought up HI-YAH. They've bought up WDW. And they've left me with no other options. "BLACK!" "BLACK!" "BLACK!" "BLACK!" BLACK You know, I sat on my arse for a month and I thought everything through. Yeah, a couple'a times, I consider jacking it all in. But then I realised somethin'. See, the entire reason I went to WDW in the first place was to show everybody who doubted Nathaniel Black in the OAOAST and all the Yanks who didn't respect me 'cause I wasn't Mr. Razzmatazz, just what I'd become. So, I dug that OAOAST contract outta the rubbish, signed it and shoved it in the post. And I waited for the OAOAST to finally step into my hometown of London, so I could give it the slap in the face it bloody well has coming!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" BLACK As of right now, I'm back in the OAOAST. And I am gonna do exactly what I set out to do in WDW. I'm gonna prove myself! I'm gonna prove that British is best! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" BLACK And I'm gonna damn well kick some OAOAST arse! Throwing down the mic, Black storms off from the announce position and back through the crowd where he came from. As he leaves through a sea of his fellow Londoners, Schiavone and Jesse re-compose themselves. SCHIAVONE Wow. Uhm... a very bitter Nathaniel Black there. VENTURA I'll tell you what Schiavone, these people here in London mighta agreed with every word he just said, but I can assure you he's not going to have made many friends across the ocean with that tirade! SCHIAVONE While we sort ourselves out up here, we'll send it down to Sofa Central. Michael Cole and Da Coach standing by to call our next match, Christopher Patrick Allen & The Beverly Hills Blonds vs. D*LUX and "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez for the OAOAST World Six-Man Tag Team Championship right after this! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. THE VOICE~! Still to come...the three men involved in the AngleSlam main event will all be in action in a "Dream Partner Tag Team Match"! And coming up next...Hot Six-Man Action! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Commercials We fade in on a shot of the exterior of The O2 in London, England. The OAOAST Syndicated theme song plays. The crowd cheers. COLE Inside The O2 lies the recently opened O2 Arena, and that is where tonight's edition of OAOAST Syndicated is taking place! The O2 Arena is sold out! They're hanging from the rafters here in this brand new state-of-the-art arena which opened on June 24th. 23,000 strong have come here tonight to witness this jam packed card, headlined by the "Dream Partner Tag Team Match"! What a night this has been thus far, and we are just getting started! As we return to the airwaves, Sofa Central has a special guest. The CEO of The Enterprise himself, Theodore Moneymaker, takes his place on the sofa, not before being thoroughly brown-nosed by Coach of course who shakes the wealthy socialite's hand eagerly. COACH (sharply) C'mon Mikey, stand up! Show some respect. COLE Settle down Coach. I would have thought you'd be used to Mister Moneymaker joining us out here by now. It seems like he's out here every other week nowadays and here you are acting like The Pope just sat next to you or something. MONEYMAKER The Pope? HA! Michael Cole, there's yet another example of a man who merely wishes he had the power and respect of yours truly. Sure, the Catholic community's support is unwavering, but prayers and spiritual elightenment will only obtain a fraction of what my wealth can! Let's face facts, there's been dozens of Popes and there'll be dozens more. However, there is and only ever shall be simply one Billion Dollar Heir! BWAHAHA! COLE Fantastic. So, may I ask why you're out here tonight? MONEYMAKER First of all little man, my business is just that. Second of all, it's Mister Moneymaker to you. I realise you actually remembered to give me that courtesy tonight, but I'm going to remind you just for the hell of it. Besides, I'm out here to watch my fellow Enterprise members. COLE Well, seeing as you're out here, there's plenty to talk about regarding The Enterprise that hopefully you can fill us in on. While Moneymaker has been making himself comfortable, the stage-hands have rolled out the red carpet ready for "Call Me" by Blondie to hit. The crowd greet the 80's kinda rock, kinda pop, I dunno, it's in some sort of genre song with the disdain it deserves. Nothing against Blondie. It's just Ned and Simon are asses. "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)" With a distinct lack of Mackenzie DeCenzo at their side, The Beverly Hills Blonds are instead followed out by their third man, CPA. Simon carries his Siclopse over his shoulder as Ned hangs back a little, clearly taking with a couple of pretty females in the audience. Must be tourists. OH! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Championships!! On their way to the ring at this time, representing THE ENTERPRISE, are the reigning and defending Champions! At a total combined weight of seven hundred, twenty five pounds. CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, otherwise known as C-P-A... and, SIMON SINGLETON, NED BLANCHARD, they are... THE BEVERLY HILLS... BBLLLLLLOOOOOONNDDSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The Six Man Tag Team Champions, who will be defending their belts here, live from London, England. And I for one would say it's about time. COACH What's that supposed to mean? COLE Well... have these three even defended the belts on OAOAST television since winning them? Not that I recall. It seems like they've been ducking every challenge they've had, up until now, as the OAOAST committee have finally stepped in... MONEYMAKER Excuse me, but let me cut you off right there little man. My men are proud champions, who've been defending their titles whenever they deem fit within the mandatory 30 day period at live events and the such. And they certainly haven't 'ducked' any challenges... COLE What about Krista and D*LUX at The Great Angle Bash? MONEYMAKER That was a line-up change neccessitated by unforseen, outside factors. With the Siclopse set up in the aisleway, Singleton rolls into the ring and immediately rolls cameras to one side of the audience. And after capturing nothing but a sea of downward-pointing thumbs and upward-pointing middle fingers on his imaginary camera, he turns to where Ned gives his man a thumbs up from the corner as if for a souvenir photo. But of course IT'S NOT A REAL CAMERA, just a hand-signal. Yeesh. Meanwhile, the red carpet clears and "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 begins to play. A much more responsive London crowd rise to their feet, showing that boyband fever isn't entirely dead in Blighty! BUFFER And, introducing the challengers... Bounding out onto the stage, Tyler Bryant and Shayne Brave earn themselves bonus points with the fans for their Union Jack design denim jeans and jackets! Tyler looks out upon the fans, Shayne firing the people up before they both begin their walk to the ring. BUFFER First, total combined weight, three hundred eighty two pounds... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT... they are D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXX!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "Give me something to believe in Cause I don’t believe in you anymore Anymore I wonder if it even makes a difference to try (Yeah) So this is goodbye" The boybanders break out a few of their funky fresh moves in between slapping the hands of the fans. They stop short of entering the ring just yet though. Partly for the numbers dis-advantage. Mainly because CPA is stood by the ropes on their side shooting them a death-glare, Ned and Simon pulling faces from behind their powerhouse of a partner's back. COLE D*LUX and The Beverly Hills Blonds have a long and storied history, made all the more heated since Jade Rodez joined up with The Enterprise. By the way, what is up with the match we're going to see later, Bra and Panties for the World Tag Team Championships!? MONEYMAKER Michael, you sound appalled at the prospect. Which is hardly surprising. But, the match is a test of faith for a certain Ms. DeCenzo. COLE But, it seemed like Jade was less than thri... MONEYMAKER Jade had her reservations, yes. After all, she is a refined young woman now, since I rescued her from the bulldyke claws of Chicks Over Dicks. However, she realises the opportunity put forward to her and I have assured her she'll come out of it with her head held high. Unlike those harlets you currently call 'Champions', who I'm sure will have their heads buried deeply within each other's cro... COLE Okay, I think we get that visual, thanks. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd have taken up the chant in the delay, Blanchard's attempts to make them 'pipe down' having no effect. Only one thing could. :CUE: Trust Company, "Rock The Casbah":. The crowd cease the chants and on cue they erupt, as out storms LEON RODEZ!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER And, from Grand Rapids Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! Hand-tagging his way down the aisle, Leon meets up with his tag team partners in the aisle and is faced with the same prospects they were. CPA, standing and waiting. That doesn't seem to deter Rodez though as he quickly skins off his robe and breaks for the ring, sliding through the unprepared CPA's legs and making a beeline right for Ned Blanchard!! Blanchard just about gets out of dodge, but Singleton's attempt at a cheapshot makes him the new object of Leon's anger. And as CPA tries to get across and help out, D*LUX pounce from behind, all hell breaking loose as referee Mike Chioda waves frantically for the bell! *DINGDINGDING!* With right hand after right hand, Leon backs Simon up into a corner and shows no signs of let-up. Behind him, D*LUX have CPA stunned and connect with a Double Dropkick. CPA stays on his feet though, so D*LUX quickly remove their jackets and hit the ropes. Double clothesline attempt from the bigman is ducked on both sides and Shayne and Tyler come off the opposite ropes, stereo flying forearms putting CPA down! MONEYMAKER Come on referee, get some control! Out rolls Allen, D*LUX following as a team. Meanwhile, Leon has scaled the middle turnbuckle and has The Video Voyeur trapped... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SE..." No! The chain stops at six, thanks to a Ned Blanchard double axehandle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER There we go Ned, there we go! Pulling Leon down off the ropes, Blanchard lands with a right hand of his own. And another. Leon is backed up against Simon now as Ned attempts an irish whip. Reversal by Rodez though, sending Ned corner to corner and hard into the turnbuckles on the far side. Simon sees this as his opportunity to pounce. But Leon is ready for him, as he elbows him in the face and sends Simon for the ride too. Horror-stricken at the sight of his partner careening towards him Ned throws his hands up and screams for his partner to "STOOOPP!", as if that would do any good, the fans erupting for a BHB pile-up in the corner! Simon and Ned clock heads and Singleton collapses backwards. Suddenly, every fan on one side of the ring is blowing and hand-waving, trying with all their might to make Ned fall too. They needn't worry, as sure enough the woozy Blanchard flair-flops out of the corner... COLE Mister Moneymaker, remember what you said about COD earlier? Well... "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...HEAD-FIRST INTO HIS PARTNER'S CROTCH!! SINGLETON Much to The Blonds embarrassment, Ned doesn't seem to be moving. His face buried deep in another man's crotch, the crowd laugh it up at Blanchard's expense as Singleton tries to unwrap his numbing legs from around his partner's head. MONEYMAKER NO, NO! This is hideous! Somebody get in there and seperate them, for the love of all that's holy, this is making a mockery of the entire concept of heterosexuality! Watching on with some amusement, Leon turns to the fans and shrugs his shoulders, as if to say he didn't know that would happen. Apparantly, he also didn't know he'd get clubbed from behind by CPA seconds later, sent spilling through the ropes and to the floor! Finally, on Theodore Moneymaker's protestations on the outside, CPA untangles The Beverly Hills Blonds from their 'predicament'. From behind comes Tyler Bryant now though, clubbing CPA from behind. Not with the strength CPA himself used on Leon moments earlier of course, but enough to get his attention. A succession of right hands back CPA in the corner. Tyler then looks to whip the bigman out. CPA is going nowhere though and boots Tyler in the gut, grabbing the head and ramming Tyler face-first into the turnbuckles! COLE Remember, this is all a preview of the big 5 on 5 Grudge Match at AngleSlam, The Enterprise facing Leon, D*LUX and of course Chicks Over Dicks! COACH I hope that last bit was a preview of the Bra And Panties Match later. Mmm. MONEYMAKER *glares* COACH Uh... I mean, uh... death to lesbians! Yeah! Except for the pretty ones. Holla. After choking Tyler in the corner up to a 4 count, CPA pulls his opponent into the centre of the ring. Scoop and a slam positions The Tremendous One, as Allen comes off the ropes with a big elbow... NOBODY HOME! Tyler dodging out of the way! CPA climbs back up nursing his right arm as Shayne Brave rolls back in, D*LUX combining with a double drop toehold. Hitting the mat hard face-first, Allen pushes right back up onto his knees... ...as D*LUX fire off basement dropkicks in stereo, sandwiching CPA's head in between! COLE New Kicks On The Block! Cover by Tyler, as legal a man as this match has so far... 1... 2... No! Together, D*LUX pull CPA back up and send him off into the ropes. The tag-team specialists then look for a Double Hiptoss... but CPA sets himself and not even Shayne and Tyler combined can take him over. They try again from standing, but CPA won't budge. So they go to the gut with knees and instead drop him with a Double Bulldog! MONEYMAKER Now this is just getting ridiculous. Two on one, still! The OAOAST committee and I will be having words about the signing of officials to Enterprise matches in the future, that's for sure! COLE To be fair, I don't see the Champions making an atte... HEY! Over at Sofa Central, a pale-white Ned Blanchard grabs a jug of water and proceeds to tip the entire contents over his face. Meanwhile, D*LUX are still full of peppy, boyband energy. Spotting Simon Singleton limping around ringside, Tyler and Shayne quickly converse and set themselves up. Off the ropes comes "Showtime" Shayne, Tyler ducking his head and backdropping his opponent over the top, RIGHT ONTO THE VIDEO VOYEUR!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" And on the other side, Tyler lines up Ned Blanchard CONNECTING WITH A PESCADO!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE D*LUX, taking to the air! Back in the ring, Rodez measures CPA, encouraging him to get back to his feet. Slowly Allen does, looking around for one of what were his last opponents before he got dropped on his face, D*LUX. Instead it's Leon that darts past him, coming off the ropes for a crossbody... ...CAUGHT! CPA carries Rodez like a small child into the centre of the ring, before twisting him around with a big Powerslam. Unlike a small child. That's just wrong. COLE What a Powerslam from the 280 pounder! That could do it right there. 1... 2... Shoulder up. With D*LUX and The Beverly Hills Blonds now battling on the outside, CPA backs into a corner and sets himself on the second rope. COLE This is something we don't usually see, the bigman leaving his feet. CPA steadies himself on the ropes... but takes too much time, allowing Rodez to run in and take him right off the buckle with an Armdrag!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" COLE And maybe we shouldn't see it again in the future if that's anything to go by! Leaving the ring, it's Leon's turn to head up the ropes now. He goes all the way up to the top however, waiting for CPA to turn around before soaring and wiping out The Director Of Security with crossbody block Ricky Steamboat himself would be proud of... 1... 2... NO! Pushed off the cover and to his feet, Rodez immediately runs the ropes. Staying low, CPA forces Rodez up and over and winds up with a big haymaker to greet him on his return from the opposite side. However, Leon is able to slide through the legs and quickly connect with a Dropkick before CPA can figure out what happened! Out of the ring goes Allen, leaving Rodez to prepare for a dive of his own! But before he can follow through on his promise of highspots to the London crowd, Ned Blanchard pounces from behind! COLE Blanchard, taking care of Tyler Bryant out here and yet another sneak attack. Blanchard seems to have a real knack of taking Rodez from behind. MONEYMAKER If only. COLE What? MONEYMAKER What? I didn't hear anything. After some blows to the back, Ned wheels Leon around, whipping him to the ropes. A clothesline misses though. And with Blanchard knocked off balance by his wild swing, forward tumbles Leon, knocking Ned down with the SHACK ATTACK!! RODEZ COME ON YOU SUNNUVA BITCH!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh no, this ain't good. COLE Oh boy, has Leon been waiting for this or what!? Ned rolls to his knees and despairingly begs off from the fired up New-Age Love Machine. Quickly, having landed with an undetected lowblow on Shayne Brave, Simon Singleton rushes in for the rescue. Rodez catches him coming in with a boot. But fighting off two men proves unwise and eventually The Blonds beat Leon down with forearms. MONEYMAKER You know, perhaps Leon should go back to his cute little 'nicest man in the OAOAST' phase. Because when you try and take on an Enterprise, you cant just focus on one section, one department. You're fighting an entire Enterprise and you have to realise, it's not personal, it's strictly business. Together, the three-time OAOAST Tag Champions send the neutralised Rodez into the ropes. Drop toehold from Simon, the point of the elbow from Ned, patented Beverly Hills Blonds/NNMX, perhaps enough as Singleton makes a cover... 1... 2... No! Not enough! Spotting danger out of the corner of his eye, Ned quickly bumps Tyler Bryant off the apron. Meanwhile, Singleton has Rodez backed into a corner and pins him back with a blatant choke. Once Ned is ready he then whips Leon out, right into a heavy-duty clothesline that takes him right off his feet! High-five from The Blonds, the British crowd getting on their case as Simon mockingly 'rolls cameras'. COLE Okay, another question, Mister Moneymaker. Why are The Beverly Hills Blonds, or any Enterprise members for that matter, not entered into the Scramble Cage Match on August 2nd to unify the Tag Titles? MONEYMAKER Because, quite simply, there will be no 'Scramble Cage' once Mackenzie and Jade become OAOAST Tag Team Champions. They will decide what fate best serves the belts and we will work out a settlement with the HI-YAH Champions. Problem solved. The arrogant Blonds clearly think they have Rodez where they want him as they look for a double irish-whip and the Double Feature Flapjack. The first part of which is no problem. But as they duck their heads for the flapjacks, Leon manages to put on the brakes, kicking Singleton in the shoulder blade! Leon then looks to boot Ned too. However, Ned catches the foot and feeds his jaw, just daring the compromised Rodez to hit him. To his credit, Leon tries just that with an Enziguri. Only for Ned to duck... *SMACK!* ...leaving SINGLETON to take the kick!! BLANCHARD Aw, shit! Ned reels around, right into an Inverted Atomic Drop! Nursing his pride and joy, Ned leaves himself wide open, as Rodez connects with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... ...and getting cut off with a quick kick. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Smirking away to himself, Ned taps his temple to show how smart he is as he executes an irish whip. A one-handed irish whip isn't the wisest idea though. And sure enough, Leon stops at arm's length, swats the hand away... *SMACK!* ...and belatedly nails Blanchard upside the head with the enziguri! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Blanchard has enough about him to keep on rolling as he hits the mat, all the way out of the ring to prevent being pinned. So Rodez takes back over on Singleton, hauling him up and whipping him into a corner. Simon hits hard and begins to stagger out, only for Leon to crush him right back into the buckles with some Double Knees! And from there he hangs on, riding Simon all the way down and bringing him into an Inverted Lungblower! Clearly winded, Singleton uses the turnbuckles behind him to pull himself up and little else besides. Rather than follow up though, Rodez is forced to get out of the way, as CPA comes charging in... ...AND COLLIDES WITH SINGLETON, AVALANCHING HIM IN THE CORNER!! COACH Oh come on, not again! Why is this referee allowing this? COLE What, allowing two Enterprise members in the ring against one opponent? MONEYMAKER Yes! After a brief moment of shock at crushing his own partner, CPA re-sets his focus on Rodez. Even more angry than before he charges at The Silky Smooth One looking to make good on his attack this time. But Leon is quick enough to dive out of the way and CPA instead runs INTO A DOUBLE SUPERKICK FROM D*LUX!! The bigman rocks backwards, schoolboyed by Leon... 1... D*LUX guard off on the save... 2... NO, TWO!! COLE Wow, we almost had new 6-Man Tag Team Champions right there! As CPA starts to get back up, Leon quickly turns to his partners and gives them some quick directions. The trio of challengers then wait for CPA to turn around, luring him in... and connecting with not one, not two but THREE stereo Superkicks to the head area!! COLE Triple Superkick this time, that oughta do it! CPA topples like a big redwood and quick as a flash, Leon, Tyler and Shayne all pile on top of The Director Of Security... MONEYMAKER What the hell is this!? 1... 2... SAVE BY SINGLETON!! COACH Why the hell did the referee even count that!? There were three guys making the pin... three! That's like... two more than there should be! MONEYMAKER You know, it's clear this referee needs a reminder of the rules. And if no-one else is willing to deliver it, I guess it's down to me. Moneymaker removes his headset and makes for the ring, while D*LUX take it to Simon Singleton. A couple of boots double The Video Voyeur up and D*LUX run the ropes... but get simultaneously low-bridged by Ned Blanchard, taking hard spills to the arena floor! COLE Oh! D*LUX down and... and now, Moneymaker is up on the apron! Referee Chioda rushes over to the CEO of The Enterprise, pointing him back down the arena floor. Moneymaker doesn't so much plead his case as rip into the referee for his officiating so far, providing a distraction as CPA lands with a hard closed fist on Rodez, the former professional boxer dropping him clean. Still the referee is distracted as CPA begins to haul the dazed Rodez up, Singleton's eyes now turning to the entrance way as CHRISTIAN WRIGHT comes charging out from the back!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh come on, it's a set-up! It's a damn set-up! COACH Just like Mister Moneymaker said, when you fight an enterprise, you fight the entire Enterprise! Sliding his prized briefcase into the ring, Wright skulks back off just as soon as he arrived. With a satisfied smile on his face, he watches on as Singleton grabs the briefcase, CPA holding Leon upright. Singleton winds up like Sammy Sosa himself, checking for sure the referee is still pre-occupied before swinging for the fences... *THUD!* "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND KO'ING CPA AS RODEZ DROPS LOW JUST IN TIME!!! COACH NO! MISTER MONEYMAKER! SIR! CPA collapses, leaving Singleton with his head in his hands! The London crowd quickly encourage Leon to get the briefcase. But not willing to stoop to those lengths, Rodez instead waits for Simon to turn around and hoists him into a piggyback, cradling the head and SPIKING him with the Stunner! BANANA HAMMOCK! COLE This one's gonna be over! But damnit, Moneymaker is STILL on the apron!! COACH So? He can do whatever he wants, he's rich! COLE Please, he's no Lindsay Lohan. Smart enough to see a cover is pointless, Rodez gets straight back up and begins to make a move towards Moneymaker and the referee. But his path is suddenly blocked by Ned Blanchard, who sneaks back into the ring and lifts Rodez up. Caught completely by surprise, Leon is completely helpless as Ned then drops him back across the top-rope with the STUN GUN!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Right across the top ring-rope throat first! And the referee didn't see a thing! Sneaking around like a thief in the night, Ned grabs his KOed tag team partner by the hand and drops him across the chest of The Silky Smooth One. Blanchard then waves Moneymaker down and slides out of the ring, keeping Tyler Bryant at bay as the referee notices the 'cover'... 1... COLE Not like this! 2... 3!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Ah, what a crock of... BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... and STILL OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, CPA... and THE BEVERLY HIIIIIIIILLLSS BBLLLLLOOOONNDDSSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Grabbing the belts, Moneymaker glides past D*LUX on the floor, Blanchard landing one last punch on Tyler before escaping with the boss. The duo collect Singleton as well before they make for the exits, no time apparently to drag the unconscious CPA with them unfortunately. Christian Wright joins his co-horts in the aisle and the four Enterprise members get themselves to a safe distance, Ned and Simon clutching the three 6-Man belts over their chests as they lie in the aisle, Moneymaker laughing away to the booing London fans. COLE The number advantage, yet again. And of course, these five are proud of themselves. The Enterprise steal another one at the expense of D*LUX and yet another of Leon Rodez, who had this match won just like he had his match at The Bash won! Finally coming to, CPA rolls out of the ring and is waved over by his Enterprise buddies. Shayne Brave manages to roll into the ring and checks on Rodez, who has sat up holding his throat. Both glare out into the entrance way, as CPA is re-united with his team-mates and his belt and Moneymaker revels in the victory. MONEYMAKER Yeah. Like that. COLE Well, thankfully, there'll be no numbers advantage at AngleSlam. It'll be 5 on 5, all in! COACH What about Mackenzie? And Jade? And... that intern chick? COLE Molly Nerdly? COACH That her name, is it? COLE Well, I'm afraid you might be right. I think AngleSlam is going to be the closest we're going to get to an even match between The Enterprise and anyone. But, after this display, I'm worried about the future of the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. What are we going to see later on tonight here in London, England? The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. THE VOICE~! Still to come...Tha Puerto Rican, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, and Zack Malibu will be in action in a "Dream Partner Tag Team Match"! Also...four hot chicks ripping each other's clothes off! Need I say more? The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. EXCITING! EXHILIRATING! SOME OTHER WORD THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "E"! IT'S THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD LIVE! August 2nd- Minneapolis, Minnesota for HeldDOWN~! August 9th- Seattle, Washington for HeldDOWN~! August 16th- Honolulu, Hawaii for HeldDOWN~! August 23rd- Boston, Massachusetts for HeldDOWN~! AUGUST 26TH- NEW YORK, NEW YORK FOR OAOAST ANGLESLAM 2007 CATCH ALL THE EXCITEMENT OF THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD LIVE! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2007 We fade in on a shot of the New York City skyline as the sun sets. Mellow music plays. We then see rapid fire shots of various New York City landmarks: the Brooklyn Bridge, Times Square, the Empire State Building, Grand Central Station, the Statue Of Liberty, Central Park. The World's Most Famous Arena. Cut to a shot of Madison Square Garden. The World's Greatest City. Cut to a shot of the New York City skyline at night. The biggest event of the summer. Cut to the OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 logo. Triumphant music plays. OAOAST ANGLESLAM LIVE FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN NEW YORK, NEW YORK FIVE WEEKS AWAY! NOT VINCE McMAHON, BUT A VERY CLOSE SOUNDALIKE ANGLESLAM 2007! THE SINGLE GREATEST ANGLESLAM OF ALL-TIME!!! Fireworks explode. We fade out. We fade in on the announce position high in the arena with Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. SCHIAVONE Yes, that's right fans, we are just five weeks away from the biggest event of the summer. Our 6th annual summertime spectacular, AngleSlam! And Jess, what an AngleSlam we've got planned for this year. Live from Madison Square Garden in New York City, headlined by a Triple Threat Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. This is wrestling history in the making, Jess. VENTURA I'll tell ya what, Tony Schiavone, it don't get no bigger than the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title, and this year at AngleSlam, three of the OAOAST's very best will step into the ring and go at it one-on-one-on-one just so that they can be the one guy who is lucky enough to wear the 10 pounds of gold around their waist! And I, for one, cannot wait for that match-up! It is going to be a classic! SCHIAVONE AngleSlam is already starting to shape up. In addition to our HYOOGE main event, we've also got that big 5-on-5 Grudge Match between The Enterprise, Chicks Over Dicks, Leon Rodez, and D*LUX! VENTURA This is a rivalry that's been building up for quite a while, and it'll finally explode at Madison Square Garden on August 26th. 10 talented superstars will wrestle, not for titles, not for money, but because they hate each other. Hate is a strong word, but I think I can use it in the context of this feud. The Enterprise HATES every single wrestler they'll be facing at AngleSlam, and there's no love lost on the opposing side either! SCHIAVONE Just added tonight, Colombian Heat will square off against James Riggs one more time, this time for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship. James Riggs used several cheap tactics tonight in his match against Heat, but he got the 'V' against Heat, and that's all that matters to him. VENTURA And that's all that SHOULD matter. In wrestling, all that counts is that there's a 'W' under your name in the Win-Loss column. James Riggs did what he felt like he had to do in order to get a shot at the 24/7 Title at AngleSlam. Well, he got his shot, so you can't say his methods failed. SCHIAVONE True, but I, personally, hope their match at AngleSlam is a little more 'clean' than tonight's match was. VENTURA I'm sure they'll both bring the goods at Madison Square Garden. This is a match I'll be keeping an eye on. James Riggs ain't no one trick pony, and I'm sure Colombian Heat doesn't want to lose the Title so soon after winning it. They'll both be on their 'A' game at AngleSlam, so it should be a great match! SCHIAVONE And we're just about ready to add ANOTHER match to AngleSlam. Coming up in just a few moments, 16 superstars will get into that ring and duke it out in the Battlebowl, with the last man standing earning a shot at the WDW World Heavyweight Champion Alfdogg at AngleSlam on August 26th. The best from the OAOAST and World Domination Wrestling are just about ready to battle it out for a chance at the brass ring in five weeks at AngleSlam. VENTURA Nothing's better than an old fashioned Battle Royal, Schiavone! Everybody wants to be World Champion. Tonight one guy will get that chance if he can just outlast 15 other guys in that very ring! This won't be easy for any of the participants in Battlebowl! SCHIAVONE It sure won't, Jess. Lots of big names from both the OAOAST and WDW will be competing in Battlebowl tonight after earning their spots in qualifying matches over the month of July. It should be a good one. And I know for sure that Alfdogg will be watching that match very closely. VENTURA Of course! He's the WDW Champion! Obviously, he'll be paying attention to that match! Geeze, this isn't rocket science here, Schiavone! SCHIAVONE I was just making note of the fact that the WDW World Heavyweight Champion will most likely be paying attention to this match, so that he'll know who he'll be facing for the Title on August 26th at AngleSlam! VENTURA Obviously, he will! Alfdogg's a tremendous Champion! Once he finds out who he'll face, he'll immediatley start scouting them, studying them, try to find their weaknesses, their achilles heel. Trust me when I say that Alfdogg will be ready for his challenger come August 26th at AngleSlam! SCHIAVONE For his title reign's sake, he better. Fans, stay tuned, because we've still got three more matches to go on this edition of OAOAST Syndicated, and they're all very unique matches that only happen once in a blue moon, if ever! The Battlebowl is coming up in just a few moments. Then, we will see the Tag Team Bra And Panties Match for the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. And of course, our main event, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix team up to take on Zack Malibu and a partner of his choosing in a "Dream Tag Team Partner Match". That's all still to come tonight on OAOAST Syndicated, so stay with us! *Jesse "The Body" Ventura pulls out a pair of binoculars.* SCHIAVONE Wha--What are those for? VENTURA So that I can have better viewing for the next three matches. SCHIAVONE You're just going to use those to get a better look at the ladies in the Tag Team Bra And Panties Match aren't you? VENTURA No! No! No! Not at all! I'm just gonna focus on their melons--I mean, cans--I mean jugs--I mean...bowling balls? SCHIAVONE Oy vey. Jess, you are something else. Just go get ready for your interview. VENTURA All right! Fine! Jesse "The Body" Ventura removes his headset and gets up out of his seat. VENTURA Don't touch my binoculars! SCHIAVONE I won't! I won't! Ventura leaves the announce position and walks to the INTERVIEW STAGE~! While this happens, Tony Schiavone rubs his forehead and does a deep sigh. SCHIAVONE All right. All right. All right, right now, let's send it over to Jesse "The Body" Ventura with this special interview. Jess? The camera SWOOPS~ down to Jesse “The Body” Ventura located atop the world famous INTERVIEW STAGE. VENTURA Coming up Thursday night live on TSM, a Scramble Cage Match will take place to unify the OAOAST, HI-YAH and WDW Tag Titles, with the winners recognized as the first ever One & Only World Tag Team Champions. The participants include the 3 reigning champions -- Chicks Over Dicks, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and Team Heyross -- D*LUX, the South Central Militia and my guests, accompanied by their manager HOLLY-WOOD, the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of ALL-time…THE HEAVENLY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” It’s anything but jolly in ‘ol England as the Heavenly Rockers appear in front of the live crowd. Escorted by arena security, insults and plastic bottles are hurled at Synth and Logan, who does little to shield his wife from the debris, on their way to the stage. VENTURA Guys, I know you wanna talk about the big tag unification bout on HeldDOWN~!, but seeing as how this is your first public interview since the “Louisiana Beatdown”, I first want to get your comments on that. In all my years in wrestling, never have I seen a more brutal message sent than the one you delivered to the Lone Star Gunslingers. LOGAN Keep flirtin’ with disaster and tragedy will strike! And it struck in a big way. Louisiana Beatdown, hmm? I can get used to that. It has a heavenly ring to it. What say you Synth? SYNTH It’s…heh heh heh…music to my ears. Heh heh heh. LOGAN Bodies left lying, blood splattered on the floor, just as we said it would, and the Lone Star Gunslingers with injuries that’ll leave them on the shelf for months. Now, onto a much more important matter, the tag title unification match. 6 of the best tag teams the OAOAST has to offer all inside a 15 foot high steel cage. As hellacious as cage matches are, the Heavenly Rockers see the light at the end of the tunnel, Jesse Ventura. A bright light that shines down on us from the heavens. In our possession, the OAOAST, HI-YAH and WDW tag team titles. Come Thursday night history will forever link the Heavenly Rockers with the creation of the One & Only Tag Team Championship sayeth Logan Usher Mann! SYNTH VENTURA Before I let you go, Logan, I wanna ask you about comments your wife Holly made on HeldDOWN~! The last time I checked, when two people got married they vowed to love and support each other no matter what. Needless to say, she didn’t support-- HOLLY (defiantly) You don’t know me, and you damn sure as hell don’t know the thoughts running through my mind. So I don’t appreciate you trying to put words in my mouth. SYNTH The man’s got a point. Contrary to popular belief, the Synthmeister can read. My hearing is even better. You basically said we deserve every bad thing that comes our way. Ain’t that right? HOLLY “YYEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” LOGAN Who are you to talk to him like that?! Synth holds his weight in the group. What have you done for us lately, huh? I’ve told you time and time again to count your blessings because we‘re the best thing to ever happen to you, particularly ME. Without us you’re either still a second-rate publicist or putting to use the only skill you have on the streets. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” HOLLY In case you’ve forgotten, we’ve been down this path before, and the results were disastrous. It nearly broke us up for good. Jesus may have died for our sins, as did Kurt Cobain, but I REFUSE to die for YOUR sins! LOGAN Well, I guess if you aren’t with us...you’re against us. The crowd is horrified when Logan yanks Holly by the hair and positions her for a DDT. SCHIAVONE Oh, my goodness! Logan’s going to DDT his own wife! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” MELODY NERDLY to the rescue. STEEL CHAIR in hand, Melody jabs Synth in the gut and wallops him across the back, but it’s a whole other story with Logan Mann. After tossing Holly aside Mann blocks Melody’s chairs hot and SLAPS her! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Crying her pretty eyes out as she clutches her cheek, Melody is front face locked. As Jesse Ventura pleads with Mann not to go through with it, Holly crawls up and… LOGAN …delivers a LOW BLOW to her husband! “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Logan falls off the stage in pain, blues and agony. His nads in a world of hurt. Holly, meanwhile, helps Melody to her feet. Once she regains her senses Melody gives Holly a big ‘ol hug, much to the embarrassment of the Angel of Death, but it‘s all good. COLE After what we’ve seen, Holly-Wood is apparently no longer a member of the Heavenly Rockers and now estranged from her husband Logan. What a show this has been, and we still have more to come! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. THE VOICE~! Coming up next...16 Superstars collide for a shot at the WDW World Heavyweight Title at AngleSlam. It's time for Battlebowl! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Commercials Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2007 (edited) COLE Welcome back fans. And now, coming up in just a few moments is the 2007 Battlebowl! This should be a good one, folks. Battlebowl qualifying matches were held throughout July. This past Thursday on HeldDOWN, the final four participants in our Battlebowl battle royal were determined in the tag matches, but due to time constraints, those matches did not air on television! Right now, we're going to show you the highlights of those matches, which will complete the field here tonight! *cut to drawings and entrances* TONY SCHIAVONE (voice-over) Our first match featured the Birmingham Bad Boy, Jamie O'Hara, very excited to be drawn into Battlebowl, and here comes his partner, Rico de Janiero, of the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, who has a big next few days coming up, with a chance to be an undisputed tag team champion! Their opponents would be first, Jay Richards! Will Saturday night be all right for him? And his partner, a member of the Love Doctors, Dr. Steven Pigley! *cut to highlights* SCHIAVONE It was a terrific high-flying contest, all four guys putting their bodies on the line! *Various speed moves are shown, including O'Hara taking Richards down with a flying headscissors, and Pigley hitting a flying bodypress from the top rope for a two-count.* SCHIAVONE But in the end, it was Jamie O'Hara's night, along with Rico, as he takes down the Doctor and delivers the big CURBSTOMP~! for the 1-2-3, Jamie O'Hara and Rico de Janiero advance to Battlebowl! *cut to more entrances* SCHIAVONE Here he comes, the former X-champion, Reject, one of the final four names drawn for this Battlebowl, and his partner, Sweet Luscious Soul, the other half of the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! Their opponents would be the powerful duo of Biff Atlas, and his partner, "The Current Big Thing", former Heartland champion Brock Ausstin! Lot of prestige in this matchup! *more highlights* SCHIAVONE It did not look good for Soul, as Brock Ausstin really did a number on him late, but intervention from the outside would be the determining factor in this one, as here comes Rico down the aisle, pulling his partner to the outside! That distracts the referee, and now here come Reject's running buddies, the Burrough Boys, and they attack Brock Ausstin! The battle spills to the outside, leaving Reject in the ring along with the distracted Biff, spinning him around, and there it is, the EULOGY~! Brock able to fight off the odds, but by that time it's too late, as the three count is made, and Reject and Sweet Luscious Soul round out the field for the battle royal! *cut back to Sofa Central* COLE Thanks, Tony, real quick, let's run down the field for later tonight, Coach, we've got Felix Strutter, Team Heyross, Jumbo, Deuce Deuce Bigelow, Denzel Spencer, Chris Stevens, Vinny Valentine, Reject, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, Jamie O'Hara, Thunderkid, Waldo of the Burrough Boys, Conquistador Uno, and MISTER Warrior! Thoughts, Coach? COACH It's interesting, Cole, with this big tag team unification match coming up on HeldDOWN this week, you've got both members of Team Heyross in this thing, as well as both members of the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew through the tag matches! It could be a big, big week for one of those four guys! COLE Yes, indeed it could! There you have it, folks, that's what you'll be seeing tonight in our Battlebowl battle royal, and of course the winner will take on Alfdogg at AngleSlam for the WDW World title! Let's now go up to Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, it is now time for our 16-man Battlebowl battle royal! Tonight, 16 of the finest superstars in the wrestling world do battle in one match! Elimination occurs when a wrestler is thrown over the top rope, and both feet touch the floor! The last man standing will be declared the winner, and will go on to AngleSlam for a shot at the WDW World heavyweight championship! *crowd cheers* And now, let's meet the participants. *generic music hits, as the combatants come through the curtains.* "After Hours" Felix Strutter! *crowd boos* Denzel Spencer! *crowd boos* Charlie Moss! *crowd boos* Quentin Benjamin! *crowd boos* Jumbo! *crowd cheers* Deuce Deuce Bigelow! *crowd cheers* "Disco Duck" Vinny Valentine! *crowd boos* "Sensational" Chris Stevens! *crowd boos* "The Birmingham Bad Boy" Jamie O'Hara! *crowd cheers* Rico de Janiero! *crowd boos* "Sweet" Luscious Soul! *crowd boos* Reject! *crowd boos* Thunderkid! *crowd cheers* representing the Burrough Boys, Waldo! *crowd boos* Conquistador Uno! *mixed reaction* and MISTER Warrior! *crowd cheers, but Warrior does not come through the curtains.* COACH Okay, where is that goof? COLE Who knows? Black Sweat hits, and MISTER Warrior runs down the aisle and does a lap around the ring, then jumps on the apron and pumps his fists in the air. He steps through the ropes and the bell rings. *DING DING DING* COACH Here we go! COLE The battle royal is under way! MISTER Warrior backs into the ropes, and floors Rico with a clothesline! He then runs over and knocks Stevens to the mat with one! He stops to pound on his chest, and is ambushed by several men. COLE And now, they've got to settle this guy down! However, MISTER Warrior gets the head shaking and starts blindly chopping away at various wrestlers, then delivers a big clothesline to Uno, sending him over the top to the floor! COLE We've got our first elimination! Uno is gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st elimination: Conquistador Uno eliminated: none eliminated by: MISTER Warrior ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MISTER Warrior stops to pump his fists, which allows Team Heyross to sneak up from behind and lift him over the top rope! COACH But the idiot Warrior was too worried about posing, and now he'll have to take his Destructicity to the showers! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: MISTER Warrior eliminated: Conquistador Uno eliminated by: Charlie Moss, Quentin Benjamin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MISTER Warrior lands on his feet while holding the top rope, and climbs back into the ring. COACH Now what? MISTER Warrior floors Benjamin with a big clothesline! He then bounces off two ropes, and drills Moss with one, as well! He then pumps his fists in the air and pounds his chest, as Black Sweat hits once again and he jumps out of the ring and runs to the back with his arms raised in the air. COLE He's a piece of work, MISTER Warrior, but he won't be going to AngleSlam! As the match settles down to a normal environment, Team Heyross doubles up on Thunderkid, while Valentine goes to work on Jamie O'Hara. Soul and Rico then come over to indirectly give TK a hand. COACH And here we go already, it's the Homewrecking crew against Team Heyross! Waldo hammers away on Jamie O'Hara on the ropes, then backs up for a clothesline, but O'Hara ducks and backdrops Waldo to the floor! COLE And Waldo, the Burrough Boy eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: Waldo eliminated: none eliminated by: Jamie O'Hara ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chris Stevens and Denzel Spencer slug it out on the ropes, with Stevens winning the exchange, then scooping up Spencer, but Spencer slides behind the back and scoops up Stevens! COLE And Chris Stevens in trouble! However, Reject comes from behind and dumps both men to the floor! COACH The ranks thinning out quickly in this one, Cole! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Chris Stevens eliminated: none eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Denzel Spencer eliminated: none eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reject celebrates, then quickly ducks as Rico charges him and backdrops him to the floor! COLE And there goes another one! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th elimination: Rico de Janiero eliminated: none eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Reject is on fire! COLE Could it be Reject who goes to AngleSlam against Alfdogg, remember last year he almost won the World Heavyweight title in two terrific matches against Alf! Jumbo works over Valentine, then holds him for Deuce. Deuce backs into the ropes, and goes for a clothesline...but Valentine slips away, and Jumbo takes it! COACH Big clothesline, but he hit his partner! Jumbo stumbles backwards, and falls right over the top and to the floor! COLE And he's out! The biggest man in the match, Jumbo eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7th elimination: Jumbo eliminated: none eliminated by: Deuce Deuce Bigelow ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Deuce leans over the ropes to check on Jumbo, Vinny hits a dropkick from behind, sending him over them to the floor! COACH And there goes the second biggest man! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8th elimination: Deuce Deuce Bigelow eliminated: Jumbo eliminated by: Vinny Valentine ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Valentine does a dance to celebrate, but runs right into a BIG right hand from TK, which staggers him back into the corner! TK then brings him out and picks him up in a PRESS SLAM~!, tossing him out onto Jumbo and Deuce! COLE And there goes Vinny! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9th elimination: Vinny Valentine eliminated: Deuce Deuce Bigelow eliminated by: Thunderkid ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cut back to a wideshot, where Team Heyross works over Soul tosses him to the floor! COLE And Soul hits the showers! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10th elimination: Sweet Luscious Soul eliminated: none eliminated by: Charlie Moss, Quentin Benjamin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH And just like that, we're down to six men! COLE We've got Thunderkid and Reject, the former tag team partners, we've got Jamie O'Hara, we've got Felix Strutter, and we've got the two members of Team Heyross! COACH They've worked well together in this one, and it could be one of them going on to face Alf! Strutter huddles up with Team Heyross, as the other three men stand alone. After a brief discussion, the three men separate, then spread out. Reject attacks O'Hara, and Strutter joins in on the attack, as TK attempts to fight off Moss and Benjamin. Eventually, he succumbs to the odds, and Team Heyross sets him up against the ropes, while Reject and Strutter do the same to O'Hara. COLE Looks like they're setting up for a mid-ring collision! TK and O'Hara are whipped across the ring into one another, and both men crash into the mat! COACH It's not looking good for these two, Cole! Team Heyross grabs O'Hara and attempts to dump him, as Reject and Strutter attempt to do the same to TK. COLE It certainly is not, as they're now in jeopardy of being eliminated! TK and O'Hara both slide back in under the bottom rope, but are stomped away on. They then set up another Irish whip. COLE Another whip being set up here... This time, however, O'Hara jumps at TK in hurricanrana fashion, and TK sends him over with the momentum, with O'Hara coming down with a double clothesline on Reject and Strutter! TK then floors Team Heyross with a double clothesline! COLE And the tide has turned in this battle royal! TK grabs Moss and attempts to dump him, but Benjamin catches him with a superkick from behind, sending him over the top to the apron! COACH Whoa, TK almost out there! Moss slides back in, and Team Heyross charges at TK, but TK drops down and pulls down the rope, causing both men to spill over, and Benjamin goes to the floor! COLE Nice move by TK, and Quentin Benjamin gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11th elimination: Quentin Benjamin eliminated: MISTER Warrior, Sweet Luscious Soul eliminated by: Thunderkid ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TK slugs it out with Moss on the apron, then Strutter attempts a springboard dropkick, but TK ducks, and Moss takes it, dropping him to the floor! COACH Oh, no! COLE And inadvertently, Felix Strutter knocking Charlie Moss out of action! Team Heyross is gone, we're down to four! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 12th elimination: Charlie Moss eliminated: MISTER Warrior, Sweet Luscious Soul eliminated by: Felix Strutter ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FINAL FOUR: Felix Strutter, Jamie O'Hara, Reject, Thunderkid COLE One of these four men will get a shot at the WDW World title at AngleSlam! All four men back off into a corner briefly, then Strutter goes after O'Hara, while Reject and TK go at it. Reject dumps TK to the apron, then goes over and hammers O'Hara from behind. Strutter and Reject whip O'Hara into the ropes, but O'Hara ducks a double clothesline and knocks both men down with a double dropkick! COLE Double dropkick, one foot into each man! O'Hara is PUMPED~ as he goes to dump Reject, but Strutter gets him from behind and drills him with a European uppercut. Strutter then charges O'Hara, but O'Hara ducks, and backdrops Strutter over! COLE So close to being out! Strutter hangs onto the top rope, then sits on the apron and grabs O'Hara by his vest, pulling him backwards over the top rope! COLE But no, it's O'Hara that goes out! What a move by Strutter, his feet did NOT touch the floor! We're down to three! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 13th elimination: Jamie O'Hara eliminated: Waldo eliminated by: Felix Strutter ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Strutter skins the cat back in, as O'Hara slaps the mat angrily. Strutter and Reject double team TK, as Reject holds TK back, and Strutter backs into the ropes. See if you can guess what happens next: A. TK slips out of the way B. Strutter nails Reject inadvertently C. The crowd goes wild D. All of the above If you guessed D, you were correct, as Reject is on the receiving end of a spinning wheel kick! COLE And Reject takes it instead! TK hammers away on Strutter, as the crowd goes wild! COACH And what a rivalry between these guys, Cole! COLE Strutter the WDW Heartland champion, while TK holds that honor for the OAOAST! TK whips Strutter into the ropes, and catches him with a BICYCLE KICK~! COLE Big move by TK, and he's going for it right here! TK sets up for the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111, but Strutter drops to his knees and delivers a low blow! COLE But Strutter goes downstairs, and that's legal in this match! Strutter measures TK, and climbs up onto his shoulders in the electric chair position! COLE And Strutter setting up something here, but TK blocking it! Suddenly, Reject gets to his feet, comes from behind... COACH Look at this, Cole! ...and DUMPS BOTH MEN TO THE FLOOR! COACH YES~! COLE It's all over, Reject wins it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 14th elimination: Felix Strutter eliminated: Charlie Moss, Jamie O'Hara eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 15th elimination: Thunderkid eliminated: Vinny Valentine, Quentin Benjamin eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ******************************************************************************** * WINNER: Reject eliminated: Denzel Spencer, Chris Stevens, Sweet Luscious Soul, Felix Strutter, Thunderkid ******************************************************************************** * *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winner of the battle royal...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! COLE Excellent showing by Reject, and he will go on to AngleSlam to challenge Alfdogg! Reject is showered with boos as he does the belt pose on the buckles. COACH Alf and Reject will write another chapter in the Deadly Alliance story at AngleSlam, for the WDW World title! COLE Yes indeed, Reject wins this battle royal, he is the 2007 Battlebowl champion! Alfdogg vs. Reject will happen once again, this time for the WDW World title, at AngleSlam! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. THE VOICE~! Coming up next...get the lotion ready. Tag Team Bra And Panties Match for the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. IT IS THE BIGGEST MAIN EVENT IN ANGLESLAM HISTORY. ZACK MALIBU. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX. ALL THREE MEN WILL COLLIDE FOR THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. AND IT WILL HAPPEN LIVE IN MADISON SQUARE GARDEN. GET ONE LAST JOLT OUT OF YOUR SUMMER. ORDER OAOAST ANGLESLAM 2007 TO SEE A MATCH THAT WILL BE TALKED ABOUT FOR YEARS TO COME. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX VS. ZACK MALIBU VS. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN IN A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. IT WILL HAPPEN AT OAOAST ANGLESLAM! SUNDAY AUGUST 26TH AT 8:00 P.M. EST/5:00 P.M. PST LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE OR SATELITE OPERATOR TO ORDER NOW! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* Edited July 30, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2007 (edited) Go to OAOASTShop.com to buy the latest in OAOAST merchandise! Toys! Belts! T-shirts! Foam hands! Bandanas! Chains! Wrist bands! And anything else your heart desires! You can find what the OAOAST superstars wear at only one place, OAOASTShop.com! AOL keyword: OAOASTShop! COLE Welcome back fans, and coming up next is a match that's...well...certainly unique. At least for this company. COACH If you ask me, there should be MORE Bra And Panty Matches in the OAOAST! I mean, I like looking at sweaty, oiled up, shirtless dudes as much as the next guy, but the female body is magnificent. The female sex is the greatest thing God ever created. So many curves, so many features, the female body is absolutely breathtaking. That is why I say we should show more appreciation towards the female body by having more Bra And Panty Matches, so that way, all of us males could get a nice good close look at mother nature in her purest, most marvelous form. COLE Coach, this is wrestling, not poetry night at the local college. Would you cut the pretentious mumbo jumbo? You just want more Bra And Panty Matches so that you can see the women of the OAOAST half naked more often! COACH Yeah, I was just frontin'! I just want to see some TITAYS~! and some BOOTAYS~! BOO-YAH~! COLE That's better. Now, this is the first time the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles are going to be defended under these rules. So the challengers don't have to worry that much about wrestling skills. All they have to do is just take the clothes off of the Champs, and they become the new Tag Team Champions! COACH I've been looking forward to this match ever since it was announced! So many questions: what color underwear will the girls wear? Will they wear thongs? Granny panties? Boy shorts? I hope it's thongs! Oh how I love thongs! Will they be see-through? Lace? Silk? Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! COLE I think a better question is whether Mackenzie DeCenzo can keep her lustful urges for Alix and Krista in tact in order to keep her job in The Enterprise and bring them the World Tag Team Titles. COACH Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, speaking of OAOASTShop.com, I was just reading the OAOAST Divas 2007: Bahamas Edition, and by reading, I mean staring at the pictorials, and I noticed something. I saw Alix, I saw Lindsay, I saw Krista, I saw Melody, I even saw Princess Stacey...DAMN girl, where did all that ass come from? What you been hiding in those jeans? But you know what? I see no Mackie! And no Jade either! Where did they go? COLE Well, Jade was too shy, and didn't want to pose in bikinis. And Mackenzie refused to participate, saying it was 'beneath her'. COACH 'Beneath her', eh? Say, you don't think Mackie took the magazine and used it to...well...pleas-- COLE Let's stop there, Coach. COACH After what we've learned about her these past few months, it's possible. COLE Just stop right there! And hey, you might get your wish tonight. Jade and Mackenzie might end up barely clothed if Alix and Krista have their way. COACH Can't a Bra And Panties Match end when all four girls are stripped of their clothes? COLE Nope. Sorry. It's either gotta be Chicks Over Dicks or Mackenzie and Jade that are stripped. Can't have it both ways. COACH Rats! Oh well, I'm ready. Oh, I am SOOO ready for this one! Tonight, we're either going to see two hot lesbians with little on, OR we're going to see a closested hot lesbian AND a barely legal 19-year-old with little on! It's a win-win situation! COLE You are a lonely man. COACH Don't ruin this for me, Cole! I put up with enough of your crap on a daily basis! Just let me enjoy this one, okay? COLE Fine. Fine. You won't be alone in enjoying this one, I can tell you that. Pretty much all male OAOAST fans will be watching this match pretty closely. COACH We have female OAOAST fans? COLE ANYWAY, the time for talk is over. COACH YES! COLE It's a match alot of people have been very much anticipating. COACH I've been waiting for this all week! COLE First time in OAOAST history that the Tag Team Titles will be defended in a Tag Team Bra And Panties Match. COACH Let's get on with it! COLE Chicks Over Dicks... COACH Hot. COLE take on Jade Rodez and Mackenzie DeCenzo... COACH Also hot. COLE In a Tag Team Bra And Panties Match for the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. COACH Let's start ripping some clothes! COLE Now, let's go to Michael Buffer... COACH Hot--no wait! COLE ...who's standing by with the introductions. COACH COME ON! START TAKING SOME CLOTHES OFF!!! COLE Calm down, will ya!? Cut to the ring where Michael Buffer is standing by. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for our OAOAST World Tag Title Bra and Panties Match! “YEAAAAA!” BUFFER In order to win a team must strip both their opponents to their bra and panties! Now let's meet the challengers. Date with the Night kicks in for what may be the first time in ages. But through the entrance doors comes not Jade Rodez, but eternal spotlight hogs, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard. Fresh off their questionable victory from early tonight, the two boast Cheshire cat grins that aren't warmly received by the sold out audience. Ned, outfitted in a yellow and green polka dot suit, points to the part of his waist where his championship would normally rest, and screams “Still the champ, baby!” to the fans. Simon stands at his side, popping the collar of his bright orange silk shirt. The ever present Siclopse is being maintained by unpaid intern Molly Nerdly, who sports a green polo shirt and perfectly ironed khaki pants. COLE The Enterprise took their cheating to new and despicable lows earlier tonight, working to steal the six man titles from Leon Rodez and D*LUX. And as we see Ned, Simon and Molly come down for a match they're not even involved in, I think it's safe to say the tag titles, and by extension, Thursday's scramble cage match are definitely in jeopardy. Standing atop the entrance way with arms raised in worship towards the arriving competitor, the three blonds herald the emergence of Jade Rodez. As green and gold lights bounce across the venue, the much maligned young lady dips her feet into an ocean of hatred and disgust. Beyond a twisting curl of strawberry blonde hair lies a look arctic indifference, greatly contrasting the cries of praise heaped upon her by her teammates. The tight, form fitting pink tracksuit she wears, twists and turns with each contour of her comely body, as she stoically marches towards the ring. Her assistants in her quest for championship gold trail behind her, never once ceasing their words of encouragement. BUFFER First from Grand Rapids, Michigan, being accompanied by Ned Blanchard, Simon Singleton, and Molly Nerdly, weighing in at one hundred forty pounds, she is Jade Rodez! COLE Gotta say Jade Rodez didn't look all that confident heading into this match, but one look at her face and you'd never know it. She's an ice woman, and she'll need to be considering that her opponents are three time tag team champions, and her former best friends. Moneymaker has waged a war against homosexuals, and Jade is just his latest weapon. The announcement of her name is not warmly welcomed by the Londoners. However if that bothers Jade her apathetic expression certainly doesn't show it. Nor does the lazy, almost uncaring way she enters the ring and begins stretching against the ropes. The rest of The Enterprise positions themselves on the outside, applauding their associate. COLE As Moneymaker told us earlier tonight, this match will have a definite affect on the Scramble Cage match this Thursday. That is to say if Jade and Mackenzie win the Cage match is off, and an arrangement will be worked out with the HI-YAH tag team champions. The punk meets disco aura of Blondie's Call Me fills the night sky for the second time this evening. The reception for this instance's wrestler is slightly kinder then the one received by the Beverly Hills Blonds. As the powerhouse drumming booms along with a strobe of pink, orange, and red lights, images of Mackenzie DeCenzo's various business triumphs decorate the Synditron. But once the entrance doors part, it becomes apparent Mackenzie's isn't wearing anything fit for the board room! Her limber figure stands behind a wall of leather; black leather pants highlighted by a design of scorpion, and a button up short sleeve leather vest that hangs tightly over her desirable chest. Her hands flick through the elegantly curled heaping of her bleached hair as she journeys down the ramp. BUFFER And her partner, from Beverly Hills, California, by way of Princeton, New Jersey, she is a former 24/7 champion, and the chief financial officer of The Enterprise, she is MACKENZIE DECENZO! Mackenzie projects a graceful smile into the peering camera, then proceeds to skip down the ramp. Inadvertently her eyes gaze towards the more attractive women in the stands, a fact that certainly doesn't bode well when one figures her opponents are two of the most gorgeous women on television. COACH Cold blooded! Moneymaker a straight G, making Mackenzie enter by herself! But yo, if he don't want her working for him, I got a couple positions I could use her in. Naw mean? COLE You touched on a good point, this tag title match is going to be one hell of a test of Mackenzie's loyalty. Will she push The Enterprise's goal, or will she seek the freedom of Alix and Krista's lesbian lifestyle? Mackenzie slides into the ring, where she's greeted with an awkward nod from her disinterested partner. The other Enterprise's members, barely offer her passing glance, too concerned with making sure the Siclopse is properly set up. "C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!" the audience now sings. Almost if on cue the opening spiel of Girlfriend blasts into London Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! The infectious bounce that characterizes Avril Lavigne's top 40 track Girlfriend fills the arena with peppy brilliance, and draws a gargantuan amount of cheers from the now standing audience. As pink lights flicker illumination at the entrance stage, chants of “C-O-D” are already the order of the day for many fans. A pink pyro waterfall rains from the ceiling, connecting with a red pyro fountain, both beautiful displays sprinkling the entrance way with shimmering sparks. Once the pairing subsides, a golden pyro wall engulfs the stage with it's tremendous size, leaving behind a thick haze of simmering smoke in it's wake. Through the build up of smoke appears the gorgeous image of Krista Isadora Duncan. The viscous vixen is attired much differently then usual, high heeled legs that are typically roam free from a mini skirt, are now shielded behind diamond encrusted leather pants, and her splendid upper body fills out green tye up t-shirt. Alix, in casual prep attire of heavily flared A&F jeans, and a pink and white stripe polo shirt, bounces from the entry doors, whipping the raucous crowd into further frenzy! COLE These London fans are on their feet for COD! COACH Even the ones who are sitting down are standing up! Myself included. And speaking of standing up, you need to stand up and salute Mister Moneymaker for bringing us our first ever tag title bra and panties match! Krista uses her strong arm as an impassable obstacle, halting Alix in her tracks. With Alix temporally subdued, Krista brings her hands over Ally's head and gently slides her warm touch down her back, before vigorously thrusting her saucy girlfriend into her arms. Giggling at Krista's show of affection, Ally turns over her shoulders, brushes a strand of her brown locks out her face, and tosses a bewitching kiss to the camera. Cute super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. BUFFER And the champions.... “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” BUFFER .....first, from Los Angeles, California, she is two time twenty four seven champion, the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are three time OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, and Hollywood “It” Girls, Chicks Over Dicks! COACH Get up, Cole! Get up you damn ingrate! Get up and offer thanks to our lord, our king, Mister Moneymaker. Because of him we will now behold the hottest, sexiest match in OAOAST history! Get up and praise, Mister Moneymaker! He has earned his place with the gods! I, Coach, declare Mister Moneymaker, a deity! An epic revolutionary of sports entertainment, and a paragon of American morality. Tonight, Cole, tonight, Moneymaker begins his conquest of the universe. COLE What are you talking about? It's the four women who are fighting! COACH But Theodore Moneymaker orchestrated the brilliance, as only a God can! He aligned the heavens, and he will send the lesbians to hell. But not before they get naked and makeout. Hands joined in loving matrimony, Ally and Krista skip down the ramp. Alix waves and tosses appreciative kisses towards her legion of loving fans, while Krista simply twirls her hair around her finger, and stages a smile of devilishly charming arrogance. COACH My word, Cole, what a humble, humble, god, our lord, Mister Moneymaker is! What wonderous gifts he gives us unworthy mortals! COLE I'm the gay guy and even I think you sound wild homo. You act like you'd rather see him in his underwear then Alix and Krista! Alix positions herself on the ring apron, while Krista slides into the ring. The houselights go up and the match seems ready to get underway. COLE This isn't your typical wrestling match, so COD's advantage isn't quite as strong. Jade and Mackenzie just need to get them into positions where they can get rid of their clothing. DING DING DING The contest begins with Krista squaring off against Jade. Or a highly reluctant Jade. Given that she spent the better part of the past two years worshiping the ground Krista walked on, only to turn around and align with the Antichrist without a hint of explanation, Jade isn't exactly sure how to gage Krista's rage-o-meter. The cool smirk on her face, certainly doesn't make it any easier. Thus all Jade can do is meet Krista for a very tentative lockup. Miraculously, Jade is able to snatch Krista into a hammer lock. Stunned by her achievement, J-Ro mouthes words of congratulations to herself. Unfortunately the self satisfied distraction weakens the grip, and allows Miss California to easily escape the hold. Krista's bubblegum pink lips shoot a condescending smile towards the now vexed Jade Rodez. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Despite her exacerbation with Krista's glee, the teenager only meekly steps into another lockup. Unfortunately, she simply gets fireman carried for her efforts. As the Englanders applaud her defeat, Jade's ill temper grows worse, and she rips her body off the mat to offer a more vehement challenge Krista. However, the SoCal queen easily counters her effort by grabbing onto her pink tracksuit and flipping her over with another fireman's carry. COLE You don't see too many fireman's carries in these types of matches, Coach. COACH And I hope we don't see any more! I didn't pay to see the moves of the nineteen eighties, I paid to see half naked women, Cole. COLE I don't think you paid to see anything! “Let's hear it for Jade!” Krista shouts in mock encouragement. “SHE HAS GONOHRREHA! SHE HAS GONOHRREHA!” the Londoners sing back. “Alrighty, let's hear it for a little less information next time” Krista replies. The rage inside Jade builds to an unstoppable crescendo, and her Nike Air Max's carry her forward in a boiling fury. Yet, her assault is quickly grounded to a halt by a third fireman's carry. The second Jade's limber figure hits the canvas, the audience resumes chanting Krista's name. This does not sit well with Jade, and her facial features form a disgusted frown. COACH Enough of the “How to wrestle” instructional tapes! Let's get down to pimpin! Heeding Coach's advice, Krista grabs onto Jade's bleach blond hair and drags her off the mat. She grins devilishly as her hands eagerly rove across the velor fabric of Jade's track suit. But before Krista can even attempt to free Jade's melons from their tight constraints, her former protege begins rifling punches into her midsection. The impact of the blows is fierce enough that it forces Krissy to cease her assault on Jade's clothing. The sullen diva acts quick, and hooks her foe into a front face lock in preparation for a DDT. But that move never comes to pass, thanks to Krissy effortlessly countering her into a northern lights suplex! J-Ro lands in a whimpering, pink,and blonde heap. But her misery doesn't there; Krista rolls through the move, bringing Jade back to her feet. Fortunately for Jade, Miss California doesn't use a second northern lights suplex. Unfortunately for Jade, Krista's fingers claw at her pants with a ferocious craving. The audience (and Ned) emits a shout of excitement, as the slightest hint of the raspberry colored Brazllian cut panties that frame Jade's lean ass is finally given. Red in the face in sheer embarrassment, Jade demands her Enterprise mates come and rescue her. “I hall save thee! Viva La Singleton!” Simon declares, shortly before Ned gives him a sneaky little shove to the ground. COLE Ned just tripped his own partner, who was going to go help his own stable mate! COACH Simon tripped! The man has trouble with balance, he's got aspergers syndrome. Realizing that her rescue ship sunk before it left the dock, Jade is left to mount her own frantic defense. She digs into Krista's flashy t-shirt, and tugs with a herculean effort. The Londoners cheers magnify at the possibility of seeing Krista's bodacious mammaries in addition to Jade's tush. COLE Krista's shirt is by Topless Californian, and we're about to see a topless Californian if Jade has her way! Actually, Jade doesn't have her way, as Krista destroys the steamy flesh tease by dropping Jade into a lion tamer. The nineteen year old bellows terrible cries of pain, as the pain instantly shoots through her back. Krista feels enough of a soft spot for her old friend to ease up on the hold. Seconds later, she's forced to relinquish the move altogether, when she spots the bothersome Singleton on the ring apron. With two great strides of her long legs, Krista ventures towards Si's location and feels him with a single slap! Si topples to the floor, where his booming thud is met with chants of, YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED! YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED! Molly takes umbrage to Krissy's actions, “You can't do that to Simon! He's a pillar of the community!” “Ha! And you must've done a pillar of crack to actually think that!” The blonde beauty leaves Molly to seethe on the outside, and returns her focus towards her in ring rival. However, Jade used the distraction provided by Molly and Simon to recover her strength, and stuns the Hollywood covergirl with a spear. Though the blow was delivered with great speed, it did little in the way of damage to Krissy, and she hastily attempts to scramble to her feet. Yet, the severe grip Jade applies on her sun streaked locks keeps her grounded, and she's drawn into a world of pain when the youngster begins slamming her face into the sweat stained canvas. "LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!" the fans sing, led on by Alix. The repugnant odor of the mat coupled with the harshness of Jade's attacks harms Krista greatly, and her wearied face is thrown into a fit of coughing. A chill settles over Jade's mind, as she watches her ex-mentor struggle horribly to hang onto her fleeting air. Smirking coldly, J-Ro steps forward and implants her Nike tennis shoe into Krista's midsection. A heartwrenching wail of pain leaves Krissy's lips, and broadens the smile of Jade's deep red ones. Now seeking to repay Kris for the earlier embarrassment she struck her with, Jade's hand journey towards the back laces of Krista's top. She summons a savage growl, as she tugs on the top string, stretching the thin fabric well beyond it's tolerance. The capacity crowd is roused into raucous cheers simply by the emerging sight of Krissy's sculpted abs. The fitness queen tries to make certain that's the only of thing of her's that's getting shown, violently rebelling against Jade's invasive grip. But the Grand Rapids native emphatically magnifies her efforts, and more and more of Miss California's kissable skin is exposed, much to the delight of the fans and Mackenzie. COACH Check it out! Trapped within Jade's merciless whims, Krista arches backwards to hinder her relentless mauling. What fabric that isn't hanging in shreds, stretches taut into her sides. Her holstered breasts fight for freedom from the constraining ill-fitting top, leading a squeal of discomfort to spill from Krista's mouth. She mounts a mammoth struggle to break free of Jade's bonds, but her fiery foe continues tugging. Finally, Krista exerts a last ditch effort, and simply implants her high heel shoe into Jade's forehead. Cursed by an enormous headache, Jade painfully staggers away from her victim. Her teary eyes impair her vision, and force her to stumble into the mischievous domain of Alix Spezia. Ally is quick to make good on that promise of mischief, grabbing Jade's track jacket and gingerly tugging it onto her head. With the shirt mashed against her bleached hair, wide tear soaked eyes, and expression of manic anguish, Jade appears like Beavis in his Great Hornholio routine. Of course this isn't lost on the mocking Alix, “I am Cornholio! I need T-P for my Bunghole! You will give me TP, bungholio! Are you threatening me? My people need holio!” While Jade doesn't have any “holio” or “T-P” she does have the slightly more annoying problem of Krista whipping her towards a vacant corner. Jade's back smacks against the steel padding, but she has little time tolament her fate, given that the beach babe is darting towards her with a body splash. Thankfully for The Enterprise, Jade uses her basic wrestling ability to evade the incoming covergirl. She positions her self atop the second turnbuckle, and as Krista nears, she dives forward with a sunset flip! With Krista stunned by the sudden shift in positions, Jade immediately sets herself to the task of ridding her of her pants. Eyes flaming with wild hunger, Jade restlessly tries to dig through the rhinestone encrusted fabric. Her efforts yield a scintillating glimpse of the sparkling black panties that are scarcely large enough to be considered a necklace. But the audience is treated to no more then that, as Krista uses her superior strength to power away from Jade. Both ladies rush to their feet at the same moment, but it's Jade who strikes first, lobbing a lariat towards her foe. Yet even with half her ass hanging out, Krista is able to summon enough speed to duck bellow the incoming missile. Jade clumsily teeters forward as a result of the avoidance, but composes herself quickly enough to unleash a discus lariat. Unfortunately the strike is savagely snuffed out by an enziguri from the former beauty queen. The crowd responds to the attack with a sizable pop, not so much because they've been dying to see an enziguri, but because the abrupt motion of the strike jerked down Krista pants to reveal even more of her lusty BUTT. Overcome by frustration at not being able to best her ex-friend, Jade smacks the canvas in...uh...frustration. The Brits aren't sympathetic to her plight, and greet her anger with a chorus of jeers and taunts. This only serves to further her annoyance, and she continues pounding the canvas. Unlike, the spectators, Krista feels a pang of pity for Jade, and decides to lend her a hand. “If you want something done right...have Krista do it” she comments, shooting Jade a smile of superior victory. She reaches behind for the clasp of her t-shirt, arching her back out and causing her enormous tits to jut out to the incredible glee of the fans. With a single swipe of her hand, the tattered shirt flutters away from her chest, unveiling her massive tits, encased in a very sexy, lacy black bra. The bra lifts her already perky breasts and pushes them together forming an impossibly deep cleavage where the ample flesh of her upper breasts welled up against each other. The skimpy bra is magnificently low cut affording an wonderful amount of bronze flesh for the cheering audience to feast their hungry gazes upon. On the ring apron, Makcenzie fans herself in effort to keep from fainting. Back in the ring, Jade's inability to accomplish what Krista did in two seconds, causes her to tailspin into another temper tantrum. COLE Krista just took off her own top, setting her team at a disadvantage! COACH I'd drop the full thirty thousand G's to get the sex change to hit that! No homo. While the London chapter of the Gay and Lesbian education network hoots and hollers, Krista melons sway and bounce in stunning display as she ventures towards her corner. A tag is made with the fully clothed Alix Speiza, and the the roar of the crowd expands exponentially. Fixing a frost bitten stare upon her former friend, Jade tries to gain the upper hand by clubbing Ally as she enters the ring. But Ally is much too quick for her foe, and blocks the strike with a back elbow. Clutching her burning face, Jade teeters into the ropes, where she pleads for help from her mind numbingly terrible Enterprise mates. Once again it's Simon who dutifully answers the call to arms, returning to the ring apron to wage war with COD. With casual grace, Alix simply grabs onto his rat's nest of hair and roughly begins hauling him over the ropes! As the Hollywood Bad Girl begins yanking out more and more of his hair extensions, his screams become more pronounced, leading Molly and Ned to lend him assistance. “YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I ATTENDED A SEMESTER OF COMMUNITY COLLEGE!” Simon bellows. Molly and Ned latch onto his khaki pants and a grandiose game of tug of war ensues. As Simon is pulled every which way by friend and foe alike, he's debased into a sobbing wreck. Eventually the combined power of Molly and Ned is enough to win Simon his release. Unfortunately the combined power of Molly and Ned is also enough to yank off his pants, revealing his Kim Possibile(!!) panties to the world. Even the male members of the London chapter of the Gay and Lesbian Education Network can't helped but be repulsed by the horrific sight, because man, Simon ain't all that good looking a dude. Yes homo. Sitting in shock, Molly wonders, “Uh, sir, far be it for me to question your glorious wisdom, but uh....” “Why the hell are you wearing panties, numbnuts?!” Ned shouts. “Because it's a bra and panties match. Obviously.” Meanwhile, Jade tries to ignore the terrible fact that she's being assisted by the worst incompetents money can buy. She latches onto Ally's leather bracelet covered wrist, and attempts to haul her into the ropes. But the brunette hottie reverses the hold with unerring ease, and it's J-Ro that's sent hurtling into the cables. Upon Jade's return, Ally's ADIDAS tennis shoes flash towards her with a lethal superkick. But Miss Rodez evades the move by sweeping bellow Alix's fast approaching foot. Rather then continue a run to the ropes, the Michigander comes to a full stop. She whirls around, and ambushes Alix with a surprise side headlock. While Ally's fabulous brown locks spill across her arm, Jade nods her frowning face towards the corner. She then breaks into a full charge, seeking to obliterate Alix with a Stratusfaction. But, right as Jade nears the ring posts, the SoCal honey latches onto her waistband and violently heaves her into the turnbuckles! To the mammoth pleasure of the capacity crowd, the youngster is crotched on the steel ring posts! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Pain is written across the countenance of Jade Rodez, and her agonized screams fill the British air. Unfortunately, the pain simply grows more harrowing, as Alix bends her backwards into a tree of woe position, and begins rifling a hellstorm of stomps into her stomach. Jade puts forth every effort to fight past the strikes, but they fall with such ferocity that there's little she can do but whimper and complain. Finally Alix ceases her stomp fest. But there's no reprieve for J-Ro, as the culinary sensation attacks her shirt with alarming barbarity. Again, Jade tries to fight back but there's little she can do against Alix's power, and the track jacket is discarded with little difficulty. The fans' eyes almost explode from their skull as they take in the fantastic image of Jade's firm rack in the sexy white sports bra. The way the bra barely contains her magnificent tits, and the way her hard nipples poke through the sheer fabric, spread thrills throughout the deepest recesses of their hungry minds. Alix earns further cheers by taking the top, stuffing it between her legs and riding it across the ring like a horse! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! Jade isn't exactly thrilled that Alix's actions have made it so that her breasts seem in mortal danger of spilling out her delicate top, and she shoots daggers towards her once good friend. Alix simply shrugs and says “ Jade, possessions are fleeting, but the knowledge that men around the globe are masturbating to you will remain in your heart forever.” Ally's helpful advice doesn't do much to alleviate Jade's annoyance, and once The Enterprise gal composes herself, she stands up to gain vengeance on her enemy. Miss Rodez and her gravity-defying breasts zoom towards Alix with the intention of mowing her down with a lariat. But Ally handily avoids the strike, latching onto Jade's bright yellow hair and using it as a catapult to toss over the ropes! Thanks to blind luck alone, Jade somehow manages to land with her feet on the floor. She quickly recovers from the harrowing shock of nearly being splattered onto the mats, and scampers onto the ring apron. When Alix moves to shove her from her perch, Jade acts fast and slices a shoulder block into her midsection. The shot leaves Alix doubled over and wheezing, a perfect position for Jade to take advantage of. She grabs a clump of Ally's curled hair, then leaps backwards, taking herself off the ring apron and to the outside mats. The result of this is Alix's throat being lacerated against the harsh cables. The fans cheer, not because they've turned on Alix, but because Jade's bouncy little (or big) fellas continue to fight for sweet glorious freedom from her undersized bra. Uh, not that that even matters! What does matter is that Alix has made a speedy recovery from Jade's cheapshot, and strikes her former “Second Best Friend Forever” with a baseball slide dropkick. Jade is flung backwards, and her impeccably rounded breasts further squeak through the flimsy bra. While the crowd marvels at the jacktastic sight, The Hollywood Bad Girl follows Jade to the outside. This prompts Molly to tell Ned, “I really think you should be doing something.” “I'm not paying you to think.” “I'm an unpaid intern, sir.” Grumbling something about smart mouth Canadians, Ned gives into Molly's request, and goes to assist Jade. Problematically, he doesn't get very far as he trips and falls flat on his face. His wounded face turns towards a confused Mackenzie, and explains that he tripped over his shoelaces. He's wearing sandals. With no help on the horizon, the detested heel does the only logical thing, RUN LIKE HELL! The fans despise this act of cowardice mainly because Jade has the audacity to cover up her heaving pleasure mounds, dashing the dreams of chronic masturbators everywhere. Alix gives chase, inexplicably laughing like Elmer Fudd as she does so. J-Ro weaves past an array of camera man, who seek to capture her moment of topless humiliation and dives into the ring. As Alix stalks her trail, her worry struck eyes look towards the nearest exit. Unfortunately for her it happens to be fiercely guarded by one Krista Isaodra Duncan. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” the audience bleats. With all methods of escape blocked off, and her tag team partner, and allies turning more useless by the nanosecond, Jade is forced to stand and fight. She rifles a knife chop towards her adversary. But given that she's more concerned with keeping her boobs from bursting through her bra, then doing any real damage, the strike is delivered with very little force. Thus Ally catches onto the attacking arm and punishes her with the True Life: I just got beat up by a girl (STO). Jade's bra suddenly becomes the least of her worries, as a flash of blue hot pain spreads through her body. In celebration of her signature spot Alix chants “We're here, we're queer, we're gonna get up and cheer! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” “Straight people, it's okay, you can cheer to!” ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! Ally positions herself above Jade, and lets her hands alluringly explore the curled tresses of her brown hair, as the beautiful picture of her writhing and gyrating body sensually seduces the audience into an orgasmic trance. Unfortunately all this taunting has granted Jade the time she needs to recover. To Alix's amazement, Jade laces her legs around Alix's arms, then clamps down onto her super flared Abercrombie jeans. Jade uses the binds she has on Alix to suck the tag champion into a rollup! Somewhere Moneymaker is going into cardiac arrest, thanks to the fact that the move causes Alix's face to be lost within the perfection of Jade's crotch! “YEAAAAA!” COLE Oh my! “Ewww, Jade. There's this new invention called the shower, you should take one someday!” Having Alix at her mercy, arouses the primal fires in Jade. With inhuman ferocity she plows through the jeans to reach the beautiful BUTT that yearns to be free of it's denim restraints. Just the thought of getting to see Alix's scrumptious BUTT delves the crowd into a state of aroused frenzy. As she feels a cool breeze kiss the skin of her now exposed tush, Ally pleads with her old friend. “Hey, I was only kidding about the shower thing! It's great down here! Yum, yum, part of a balanced breakfast.” Alix's ass kissing (vagina kissing?) fails to achieve it's intended goal, and thankfully for the fans, the topless Jade continues her maniacal attempt on Alix's three hundred dollar jeans. With demonic determination, Jade wrenches Alix's pants further down her silken legs, finally rewarding the audience with the holy grail of the B&P match: Alix's phenomenally juicy ass, and it's gorgeous cheeks framed by a meager lace thong. The hellish battle to prevent Jade from whisking away her clothes, has the unintended side effect of causing Alix golden brown orbs, and Jade's bursting hooters to jiggle and jounce their way into masturbation hall of fame. The audience rocks the arena to it's very foundation with enthralled cheers, while Jade finally yanks the clunky jeans past Alix's tennis shoes! COACH That broad is serious, god damn! COLE I'll tell you what else is serious, Jade and Mackenzie are in the lead! Jade dismounts Alix, and slams the jeans onto the canvas in an act of rebellious triumph. A self congratulatory smile takes hold of her blood red lips, as the audience now stains her with hatred. Alix sits on her knees, shoes pressed into the lusted after steamy ass cheeks, breathing heavy from having been lost within the valley of Jade's crotch. Grand Rapids most famous daughter can't help but rub salt into Ally's wound, and steals one of her favorite moves, Pleased with her victory over her constant failures, Jade figures she's worked hard enough, and applies a tag to Mackenzie DeCenzo. Amidst the murmur of anticipation from the sold out audience, comes Mackenzie's reluctant cries of “No.” Jade doesn't bother listening to her qualms, instead stepping out onto the ring apron, and coldly ordering her into the match. Mackenzie's aversion refuses to subside, and she adamantly protests the tag. COLE This is supposed to be a test of loyalty for Mackenzie, but she's not looking terribly loyal right now! Ned screams these words of “encouragement” to Mackenzie, “Think about life without The Enterprise! Mid sized sedans, possibly even used, a townhouse in a suburb of Baltimore, not DC but Baltimore, eating out at chain restaurants, or even worse having to do your own grocery shopping!” I'm going to have to assume it was the thought of living near Baltimore that did it, because for whatever reason Mackenzie finally steps into the squared circle. Alix's dour mood improves drastically, at the sight of the leather covered Mackenzie, and her warm smile welcomes DeCenzo towards the ring. COLE Mackenzie and Alix had a brief run in for the 24/7 title early last year, but things have been pretty good between them lately. And things are about to get pretty hot between them now! Despite being overjoyed at seeing Mackenzie, Alix doesn't exactly roll out the welcome mat for her, instead spearing her to the canvas the second the valet takes her first steps. Flustered by the sudden attack, Mackenize quickly scampers upright, only to find the playful Miss Spezia swinging a knife edge chop her way. With cat-like quickness, Mackenzie offers her left hand in defense, and uses her right to grab hold of Alix's free hand. She then attempts to launch Alix into the nearby cables with an Irish whip. But the SoCal sex kitten's superior wrestling ability reverses DeCenzo's move. Rather then send her into the ropes, the thong bound Alix roughly drags her to the canvas with a short arm spear. Again, Mackie makes an attempt to scurry upright, but Ally dives onto her, locking her into place. COACH And now it gets hot Cole! The buxom brunette's tone legs slither against Mackenzie's lithe figure, electrifying them both with an erotic charge. Mackie emits a wall shaking moan, as Alix's oiled flesh wantonly massages her curvy body. The warm skin is flush with desire and inflames Mackenzie's feral instincts. So enraptured by Alix's touch, Mackenzie's offers scant resistance towards the sultry vixen's bid for her top, instead just gliding her hands along Alix's BUTT. She simply purrs in exultant release, as Alix's finger tips work their way up the rigid outlines of her stomach muscles. Soon Alix's delicate hands seize the buttons on her shirt, and tweak them apart. Sharp bolts of pleasurable pain smash into Mackenzie's head, as Alix's dominant fingers pump through submissive strings. The piece of fabric finally comes free, and flitters to the wayside. Two beautifully rounded breast bounce heavily into place, plump knockers that jostle against each other and shine with a wet gleam of perspiration. As the fans burst into an outpouring of cheers for the latest showing of skin, Alix gazes longingly at Mackenzie's unnaturally gorgeous body. “Hmm. That was easy.” Alix comments. A sly predatory look falls over Alix's visage, and she shimmers down to Mackenzie's feet to free her majestic legs of the far too constraining leather pants. A thunderous scream of excitement speeds through the stands once Alix bends over and affords the audience with a cameltoelishcous view of her luscious g-string cald ass. She tugs onto the rhinestone waistband, showcasing the faintest glimpse of Mackenzie's shimmering panty framed BUTT cheeks. But, before the home viewing audience can be given reason to make a mad dash for the bottle of Johnson and Johnson, Mackenzie snaps out of the erotic stupor Alix lulled her to, and viciously begins fighting back against her aggressor. COACH I guess Mackenzie just realized the value of not spending the rest of her life living in a cardboard box. I love a good cat fight! Her manicured hands curl around Alix's streaming locks, and promptly yank on them as though they were weeds to be torn from the dirt. The Hollywood Bad Girl is shocked into shouts of discomfort by Mackenzie's actions. COLE I thought Mackenzie... COACH Hey, I'm sure she does have a crush on Alix and Krista, but puppy love can't pay the light bills, baby. Now sit back and think of ponies or Usher, or R.Kelly, or whatever it is you think about at smoking hot moments like this. Summoning a tone of steely rage, Alix slashes her talons through Mackenzie's platinum strands. As the women fight fire with fire, the crowd remains red hot, thanks to Alix's nearly bare BUTT and Mackenzie's enhanced rack, bouncing and swaying with each tousle and struggle. On the outside Ned implores Molly to capture this on the Siclopse, but she maintains that they're creative efforts would be better served exploring the Natterjack Toad's sexual habits as it relates to the stages of the moon on days of increased bio hazardous health warnings. In order to assist Mackenzie in her lopside war with the champ, Jade darts into the ring, and kicks Alix in the BUTT. The sudden shot takes Ally off balance, which allows Mackenzie to capture her into a school girl. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Pleased with her trickery, Jade quickly departs the ring. And wisely so, as Krissy seems remarkably eager to get a piece of her. While referee Clem Buzzlefoxer, tries to clam Krista down, Mackenzie works to take advantage of the assistance her team mate offered her. Unfortunately, Mackenzie is a slave to her sexual desires, and instead of pillaging Alix's polo shirt, her watering mouth greedily directs her hands towards the spicy Latina's underwear. Her carnal lust screams towards epic proportions, as her hands peel away the lone barrier that blocks her from the goldmine of Alix's mouth watering thighs Embarrassment worms onto Alix's face, and she squeaks while trying to prevent herself from falling prey to Mackenzie's fleshy yearnings. COACH There's nothing under there! Go Mackenzie! Go! COLE How is trying to take off a lesbian's underwear proving her loyalty towards her homophobic boss? Robbing the midnight chokers of a perfectly good fantasy, Ally powerfully kicks out of Mackie's clutches. However she isn't quite free of Mackenzie's inflamed passion, and The Enterprise's personnel director makes a desperate lunge for her lean body. Ally counters Mackenzie's efforts by leaping onto the second rope and spring boarding back with a Thez Press! The babes endure an excruciating plummet towards the floor,and crash with a resounding thud. Despite the searing landing, Mackenzie is all sinful giggles, as Alix's heavy breasts caress her blissful face. Mackenzie exhales a deep moan of pleasure as her face is enfolded in the warm, fabric coated flesh of Alix's perky boobs. Realizing that Alix is in the perfect position to strip Mackenzie bare, Jade returns to the ring and rolls Mackenzie into a opportunistic position. Unfortunately, that position lasts for no more then two seconds, before the champ puts her ring saavy to good use and mounts Mackenzie again. Alix has nary a second to stage any sort of attack on DeCenzo, before The Enterprise's numbers advantage disrupts her offense. Simon (still in Kim Possible panties) journeys to the ring apron, where's he met by a plethora of boos from the inebriated British audience. While he can brush aside the fan's hatred, he can't quite brush aside the super kick Alix uses to terrorize his jaw! Singleton is flung from the ring apron, and his trip through the sky is joined by a rousing ovation from the crowd. “Oh no the bitch did not!” Molly wails, a crazed look of violence distorting her face. As Alix returns her attention towards Mackenzie, Molly hurries up the ring steps and onto the top rope. Her eyes narrowed into slits of sinister determination while she shifts her body to the face the now standing crowd. Unfortunately for Molly, members of that standing crowd have informed Alix of her actions. So it should come as little surprise, when Ally makes a bee line for Molly's position. Her hands coil around the waist of the Nerdly girl's khaki pants, and in one brilliant flourish the clothes rest in a beige heap around her ankles. All that's left in their wake is a shrieking Molly, a hooting crowd, and the cutest, tightest, ass in all of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. I suppose that may not be saying much, but it's still a cute BUTT. Ever the connoisseur of a fine backside, a giggling Ally gives Molly a playfull swat on the BUTT. Unfortunately this results in Molly being thrust from her nest on the turnbuckles towards the mats bellow. Thankfully for the unpaid intern, her fallen hero and his strange undergarments do an excellent job of breaking her fall. “Whoo-hooo! Everyone sucks but me!” Alix screams. “Oh, and England to!” “YEAAAA!” “Nah, I'm kidding, you whiteboys suck ass!” “BOOOO!” “April fools!” “BOOOO!” “Why are they boooing, Krissy?” “Because it's late July, stupid!” COACH I gotta get me an unpaid intern. I wonder how much one costs. Shrugging her shoulders at Simon's predicament and her inability to decipher the human calendar, Ally returns to fight/molest/be molested/ by Mackenzie. But her opponent continues to move with fantastic barbarity, and seizes on Alix's polo shirt as though they were engaged in a blood thirsty hockey brawl. The pink and white stripes on the shirt strain heavily under Mackie's pull, presenting the audience with their first view of Ally's tight tummy. Mackenzie's bountiful bosoms bounce fabulously with each exertion and pull. Poor Alix is helplessly slung from side to side, her bra coming undone before it even has a chance to to be see daylight. COLE Mackenzie is just going to town on Alix's shirt, and I can't believe it due to a deep desire to become a tag team champion! Al snaps her hands around Mackenzie's wrist, slowing her wild tugging towards a tolerable pull. The thonged cutie uses her strength advantage to pull away her sexually charged foe's hands and capture a bit of much needed freedom. The freedom is short lived, however, as Mackenzie's maniacally resumes her quest to reduce Alix to a state of near nudity. The culinary sensation counters this latest assault, by taking firm grip of the fiery Italian's attacking arm, and driving her downward with a single arm DDT. As the move was utilized more to subdue then hurt, Mackenzie isn't left in an unbearable amount of pain, but she is debilitated enough to grant Alix her sought after break. Having been sufficiently WORN THE FUCK DOWN by Mackenzie, Alix applies a tag to her girlfriend. The observers cheers are earth moving at sight of Krista Isadora Duncan. Unlike Alix, Krista is in perfect shape, and is more then willing to indulge Mackie's curiosities. Her ultra thick California accent comments to Alix, “Guess what we're having for dinner tonight?” “What?” “A little Italian.” She replies, washing Mackenzie with a provocative stare. At Krista's request a production assistant hands her a microphone. “Alright, Back in 99 I had to convince my mother that I was actually straight, which forced me to swap spit with that thing” She points to Ned “for the better part of thirteen months, so maybe my judgment is a little off, but I gotta say Ally, you're a pretty good kisser. But, we're in England...” “YEAAAA!” “And even though as an American I live in constant fear that King George and his red coats are only seconds away from robbing me of my precious freedom and overtaxing my tea, I figure I have to try some new English things. When in London, do what the Londoners do, right? And what do Londoners do? If softcore lesbian pornography on Youtube hasn't lied to me, it's have multiple sex partners. Soooo, Mackenzie, you and Ally looked pretty good competing together, I'm sure you wouldn't mind another competition. How about a kissing contest? And who should be the judge?” COACH Me!!!! Fans, female and male alike, zealously present themselves as possible candidates. COACH Yo, look at that West African bitch in the front row, actin a fool. Probably got that instant aids, stick your tongue in that watch your whole head blow up. Krista proclaims “I know, I'll be the judge! Mackenzie, gimme some sugar.” The invite is far too hard for Mackenzie to resist and soon enough her deep red lips send sparks of pleasure into Krista's bubble gum pink ones. Her lusting tongue gently coaxes her lovers lips to part with a soft moan. Mackie's touch is deliberately slow and sensual, damp where her pink tongue slides over the supple curves of Krista's hungry mouth. Mackie's flashes of touches and teasing tongue lashes, leaves Krista a needy, pleading wreck. One moment Krista feels the blonde delicious licker pleasure her mouth, the next it's slithering out dragging with it a strand of spit that stretches across Krista's glistening lips. Mackenzie leads a lick as nasty as whip, yet infinitely softer over the runaway strand to carry every every last drop of her taste back into Krista's mesmerized mouth. Weakened by the raw sensation of the liplock, Krista can barely herself away. “Um, Alix, your turn!” "ZZZZZ" “You'd be surprised how often that happens.” Krista laments Ned senses that Mackenize is on the verge of fully switching sides, and attempts to win her back by reminding of her how awful life would be without the money of The Enterprise, “Fridays! Olive Garden! Ruby Tuesdays! Dennys! Applebees!” “No! Not Applebees!” “Yes! Applebees!" “APPLEBEES WHORE! APPLEBEES WHORE!” the fans in the front row shout. The thought of having to spend the rest of her days coupon clipping to eat at Applbees, seems enough to motivate DeCenzo to advance the cause of The Enterprise. A saddened apology is heaped upon her makeout partner , before she's forced to resume the devil's handiwork. Her platformed boot flicks forward, slashing Krista's bare stomach, and doubling her over in agony. With Krista momentarily crippled by the strike, Mackenzie grabs hold of her wrist and attempts to toss her into a neutral corner. However, Krista uses her considerable agility to shift the momentum of the move and deposit Mackenzie into the corner. DeCenzo suffers through a harsh collision with the steel posts, but feels nothing but joy as her ocean blue eyes drink in a charging Krista's swinging breasts. However, Mackenzie tempers her arousal, and quickly scampers to the second rope to blast Krista with an axe handle smash as she nears. But, Krista's agility continues to overwhelm her; the fitness queen does handstand atop the second rope and laces her diamond encrusted leggings around Mackenzie's neck! COLE Here's a move we don't see to often from Krista's arsenal! COACH Arsenal? Moves? They need to get Caboose back. A man who wears that much makeup has gots to know a thing or to about bra and panties. While Krista's sparkling noose attempts to annihilate the whimpering DeCenzo with a handspring frankensteiner, her victim exerts a considerable amount of energy to remain upright. Her hands frantically flail through the air, signaling a need for help. Jade moves speedily to answer Mackenzie's emergency call. Covering up her near pointless bra, Jade rushes towards her partner's location where her free hand works as an anchor to hold the platinum blond into place. With Jade attending to her basic need to survive, Mackenzie's insatiable sexual appetite forces itself into the drivers seat. Primal lust flickers into her eyes, as she wastes little time in digging her hands into Krista's pants. Within seconds Krista's humiliation reaches endemic proportions, and she stages a powerful battle to keep her pants around her waist. The audience bestows the thought of Krista's half naked body with an enormous cheer. “If I wasn't hanging upside down by my underwear, I swear to god I would kill you all.” she coldly informs them. Mackenzie's smoldering eyes narrow into a lusting glare, as her ceaseless violation on Krista's modesty rewards her with an up close view of the busty blonde's decadent legs. Fondling Krista's rapidly exposed inner thigh, Mackie marvels at the mesmerizing combination of bronze skin, taut muscles, and glistening flesh. Despite Krista's crazed rebellion, the pants continue to effortlessly sail down her legs. The jumbled wad of leather now acts as a subtle guide, pulling the viewer’s gaze upward over her calves and creamy thighs until it fixates on the delectable helping of ass that squeezes a sparkling black thong. Smiling in unbridled desire over the heavenly beauty that lays before her, Mackenzie fully shreds Krista of the unneeded clothing. The dripping hot beach bunny's million dollar body now rests behind two skimpy pieces of fabric and the audience couldn't be happier. Stock prices of Kleenexx and Vaseline intensive lotion rise 40% as Krista's lingire encased figure leads teenage boys into freshly minted manhood. Krista looks like this COLE Wow! Alix's shirt is the only thing keeping Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez from being new tag team champions. Although, I must say Krista's outfit is really more of a bikini then a bra and panties and set. And to me... COACH The hell is wrong with you? I don't care if she's wearing two pieces of bubble wrap! She's hot! Thrilled with their achievement, Jade releases Mackenzie's leg to applaud her efforts. Unfortunately Jade's restraint was the only thing preventing Mackie from getting Frankensteinered half way across the ring. And without Jade's clutches then, well, it's not exactly happy landings for The Enterprise's CFO! Grousing about her misfortune, she begins to scrape her carcass off the canvas, extending her arms towards Jade for a badly needed tag. Problematically, her bikini bound rival utilizes a schoolgirl that pulls her dangerously far away from her corner. But her inability to tag Jade, pales in comparison to the problem of Krista violently yanking her pants away from the slender hips they hug so tightly. While all this is transpiring, the camera wisely focuses on Krista's bronze tush to polish off the older viewers who have tried to withold penile release by using age old techniques of thinking of the usual assortment of unsexy things: Joe Perry, Nolan Ryan, Barbra Bush, I Love Lucy.. it's no use. The thong is all tiny, everything is riding up, her flawless ass all writhy and wriggly and it's Krista's being the gnarliest ,hottest vixen on TV. And if that weren't hot enough, in one fell swoop, Krista glides Mackenzie's pants into a useless puddle of leather on the mat, leaving their former owner a brilliant image of bra and panties majesty. Statuesque long legs that trace a beautiful path to a tight round ass are now fully visible, and the crowd greets them with rousing ovation. For the visually inclined she looks like this: Mackenzie's exposed flesh burns with the fire of embarrassment and arousal. She finds it difficult to concentrate on anything as her sensuous body screams out the new sensations it experiences. COACH Krista getting rid of Mackenzie's dirty laundry, and I wouldn't mind taking both them asses for a spin cycle or two. Though Ned has successfully avoided any confrontation with his child's mother thus far, he realizes he can longer avoid the “baby's mama's drama” , and throws himself into the squared circle. Whether his motivation stemmed from a new found desire to actually be of some use, or stemmed from the fact that said baby's mama is no longer wearing any clothes, the world may never know. My guess is the later! Regardless, The Handsome Hustler enters the ring and seizes hold of Krista with a rear waistlock. Given that her bottom is clothed by what's basically a cocktail napkin with strings, this waistlock is far more pleasurable then usual. Krista fights against his perverse clutches with a round of furious elbow strikes But not even Patton's army could keep the sex crazed Ned from pumping his crotch into her supple bare ass cheeks. Annoyed to no end, Krista rids herself of Ned's unwanted presence by simply rocketing her high heel shoe into his testicles. The second the spiked heel hits him, Blanchard instantly releases Krista, and trembles in crippling pain. He's too dazed to prevent Krista from draping her arm over his shoulder, and can do nothing more then scream in terror as she back flip onto her stomach, forcing him to go airborne with her. Blanchard is deposited into a forward roll, brutally landing on his back at the hands of Everybody hates Kris (back flip rock bottom). The ring ripples beneath the monumental impact of Krista and her mangled adversary. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" One person who isn't so tickled by Krista's dismantling of The Handsome Hustler, is Jade Rodez. As her sports bra continues to fail it's mission to hold her heaving boobs, J-Ro darts towards to Krista with the intention of catching her off guard. But it's Jade who gets caught off guard by Alix, who uses her juicy tush as weapon of (m)ass destruction, knocking Jade off her feet with the world sexiest BUTT bump. "ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!" While the fans and Alix may have discarded Jade to the scrap heap, Simon understands that her pants are the only thing keeping The Enterprise in the tag title hunt. Thus, the world's biggest Kim Possible fan, springboards himself into the ring with an axe handle smash! Ally side steps his oncoming bomb, leaving the six man champ to aimlessly teeter forward. He quickly whirls around to plant Alix with a discus punch. However his strike is delayed by Ally grasping onto his silk dress shirt. In one blink and you miss it motion the fancy garment is torn from his body, leaving behind a....training bra in it's wake? “PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON!” the fans demand of the embarrassed six man champ. “Now look, I can expla...” DIAMOND CUTTER!! by Alix. COLE A thirty two year old man, with a jeri curl, kim possible underwear, and a training bra? I wouldn't hit that if I could borrow your penis. Blanchard rampages towards Alix. However, the sultry babe simply leapfrogs his charge. Not dissuaded by the avoidance, The Ned Man simply swings around to retry his murderous attack. This turns into a severe error in judgement, as Alix counters the attack by striding forward, wrapping her arms around his waist, flipping into the air, and liquidizing his skull with the Burning Sensation When You Urinate! (Sunset flip piledriver)! "ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!" COACH I've been feeling a burning sensation all match! But nothing like that. Desperate to acquire some manner of revenge for her earlier humiliation as well as for the drubbing of her employers, the bottomless Molly ascends to the highest turnbuckle. The audience rises to their feet, murmuring in anticipation over the possibility of a high risk assault. Molly doesn't disappoint, and with a feral scream, she launches herself at Alix with a body splash! But she lands across Alix's smooth shoulders in a standing fireman's carry position. As her look morphs from one of defiance to fear, her hands frantically slash at the baby oil glazed skin that keeps her aloft. No luck. Alix lifts her from her shoulders, and drops her stomach first onto her knee. COACH Not fair! You can't treat the unpaid labor like that! Molly's exposed bottom glistens enticingly under the hot arena lights. Cackling with glee, Alix arches back with her right and brings it smartly against her creamy, smooth, alabaster buns. The sound of her palm meeting her warm flesh and scream, more of fright than pain, resounds throughout the arena. The cheeks of her ass rippled beautifully. Ally runs her soft hand over the already reddened buttocks in a soothing motion. Then suddenly she reaches back once more and delivers the next stroke a little harder, over the middle of her ass crease. The loud THWACK reverberates around the arena once more, but this time the little honey remains stoically silent, emitting only a throaty grunt in response to the growing pain.The audience was goes wild- this is well beyond what they had hoped. Alix continues to spank Molly at will, raining down blows. COLE Weren't you saying something about this not being fair? COACH Hey she's not Union, do what you want, Alix! Acting more out of jealously towards Molly then any sense of sisterhood, Mackenzie dives upon Alix, crashing her away from her panting victim. The busty beauties lunge themselves into a monumental battle for dominance. Their silky legs intertwine into a ribbon of golden brown beauty, as their hands feverishly weave through each other's spiraled strands. With flaming desire, they wiggle fervidly in their snarl, legs tangled in a delightfully sensual coil, sharing touch and taste. Finally the pairing dribbles from the ring, spilling onto the outside mats, where the front row audience is given the ultimate feast for the eyes. Back in the squared circle, the contestants have been reduced to Jade and Krista. Thanks to the sudden disappearance of every last one of her allies, Jade's confidence has taken a noise dive into oblivion. COLE Well, if Jade wants to win this match she needs to somehow get to Alix and get at her shirt! Jade is keenly aware of this fact and speedily works to achieve such a task. She grabs hold of the official's arm, and launches him like a missile at the approaching Krista. But the bikined Californian sidesteps the frail referee, and continues her charge towards Jade. J-Ro swings her heel around to blast Krista's pretty face with spinning back kick! However KID catches the incoming shoe and drives it harshly towards the canvas. The rough counter throws Jade off balance, and sends her hot pink coated breasts wobbling across her chest. K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D! Jade recovers enough of her strength to lash back at Krista with a sloppy jaw breaker. Though the move is nothing pretty it staggers the blonde bombshell away from her overmatched rival. But that distance quickly evaporates once Jade dives upon Krista with a forearm smash. Yet, KID counters the attack by grasping onto Jade's track pants and lifting her into a flap jack! The crowd popping move causes Jade's neck to be lacerated by the coarse ring cables and she immediately stumbles through a fit of violent coughing. COLE A flapjack onto the ropes is an excellent move to use in this type of match. It's possible it can cut off the breathing of your foe, and as Coach can attest to it's easier to take the clothes off an unconscious woman then a conscious one! Krista seizes on the opportunity Jade's affliction has presented her, and ties her hands around the girls' smooth stomach. The fleeting feel of Krista's soft orbs tickling her flesh, is quickly overshadowed by the horror of the older woman dragging her down with a rollup! Instantly Krista's naughty fingers dig at the remains of the track suit, eliciting a yelp of worry from their wearer. “YAAAAA!” the fans shout in horny anticipation of Jade's panties. Jade sharply kicks free of the hold, throwing herself upright in order to generate distance between herself and her aggressor. Unfortunately her sudden ascent comes conveniently at the same as Ned's sudden ascent, and the two members encounter a head on collision! Though Blanchard is simply pushed into the ropes, the much smaller Jade is gift wrapped to the salivating Krista. With a lighting quick flash of her hands, Krista pries away the fabric lock, and unearths the treasure of Jade's perfect heart shaped BUTT! Away goes the cocoon of clothing, and in comes Jades magnificent splendor of ass. As her firm and muscular BUTT beams proudly on display beneath her animal print panties, the fans let loose a monstrous cheer of approval. Jade's reaction is much less excited then the crowd's. She wails in annoyance and in frustration, unsure of rather she's directing her anger towards Krista, herself, or her near useless “help”. COLE And it is all over, ladies and gentlemen! Chicks Over Dicks have foiled another one of Moneymaker's plots! And that means we will definitely see the Scramble Cage tag match this Thursday! And what a match that will be, history will be made. COACH Who cares about cages and scrambles? We oughta have this type of match every week! COLE Hey, I'm all for D*LUX against The Gunslingers in a bikini briefs match! As Alix joins her in the ring, Krista gingerly launches Jade's pants into the congregation of Orthodox Jewish Lesbian Optometrists gathered in the front row. Realizing that she's the only one still fully clothed Alix decides she doesn't want to be left out of the party. Thus her polo shirt is tossed aside, and viewers are treated to this image: Syndicated ratings plummet as masturbators everywhere change their pants turn in for the night. COLE I don't quite think Mackenzie returned to heterosexual team with this match, but after awhile, she certainly did her part to win the tag titles for The Enterprise. Is it enough to save her job? That's up to Moneymaker. But I will say she did a hell of a lot more then Ned Blanchard! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the winner and still OAOAST world tag team champions.... CROWD C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D! COLE Fans, another fantastic victory for Alix and Krista, their first in a bra and panties match. The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. THE VOICE~! Coming up next...who did Zack Malibu choose as his partner for the "Dream Partner Tag Team Match"? The answer will be revealed in our main event! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. * COMMERCIAL BREAK * Edited August 18, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2007 One And Only World Tag Team Title Scramble Cage Match Profile Brought to you by The Hills - The Complete Second Season on DVD Name: D*LUX Members: Tremendous Tyler & Showtime Shayne From: Detroit, MI Finisher: As Seen On 60 Minutes Career Highlights: Three time HI-YAH Champions. Former American Idol Contestants. Japanese branch of fan club is over ninety thousand members strong. COLE And after that last match, we know for sure that the Scramble Cage Match WILL indeed take place this Thursday on HeldDOWN~! to crown the first ever One And Only World Tag Team Champions! COACH That was such a great match. I'm so glad I Tivo'd it, so I can watch it again and again. COLE Did you make sure to wash your hands after you went to the bathroom? Because I don't want to feel anything sticky coming from you. COACH Yeah. Don't worry about me. It's Ventura you gotta be worried about. Dude's just unsanitory. Eeuch. COLE Anyway fans, what a night this has been so far! And we've still got one more match! PLUS, on the horizon, the biggest event of the summer, AngleSlam! Sunday, August 26th live only on pay-per-view from Madison Square Garden in New York City. And AngleSlam 2007 will be headlined by one of the biggest main events in OAOAST history. A Triple Threat Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title. The Champion, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix defends the Title against the former Champion, Zack Malibu, AND the guy who has never won the Title, but has come close on several occasions, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. It's going to be one for the ages folks. Be sure you DO NOT miss it! And speaking of AngleSlam, coming up next--wait. Hold on...I've being told, we have to go backstage. We have to go backstage. Something is happening backstage! COACH What? What? Tell me! COLE Okay...I am told we have cameras backstage...we're going backstage now! The camera cuts to the backstage area where, limping through the hallways, Jamie O'Hara looks pretty dejected over his loss in the battle royal earlier. Kicking the ground, O'Hara curses to himself, still going over the mistakes in his head. In mid-curse though he's sent flying as suddenly NATHANIEL BLACK charges into view and wipes him out!! SCHIAVONE Hey... what the hell!? VENTURA He said he was gonna kick 'arse' and he didn't waste much time! Black stomps away on O'Hara, beating him down until any fight left after the battle royal seems to disappear. He then hauls O'Hara up by the wifebeater, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him into a STIFF Clothesline! The back of O'Hara's head hits the floor HARD and he doesn't move a muscle there after. Besides a couple of groggy groans O'Hara is lifeless, as Black kneels down next to him. BLACK Now that was long overdue. Giving O'Hara a firm slap across the back of the head, Black marches off, leaving The Birmingham Bad Boy laying on the cold, hard floor. SCHIAVONE I tell you, I can't believe that! VENTURA Those two had hostility back in World Domination Wrestling. I guess there was some unfinished business that needed to be addressed. SCHIAVONE Unfinished business? Jesse, that was an unprovoked sneak attack, is what it was! VENTURA So? SCHIAVONE ...oh boy. (Cut back to Sofa Central.) COLE What the hell was that all about!? COACH Bout time somebody shut that loud mouth up! COLE Oh will you stop! Anyway fans, there's something brewing between Jamie O'Hara and Nathaniel Black! Who knows what's going to happen next! But right now, it's time for our main event. With AngleSlam just four weeks away, we will see the three participants in the triple threat, World Title main-event in action here. The sure to be awkward pairing of Landon Maddix and Tha Puerto Rican teaming up in an attempt to take out their third rival, Zack Malibu, plus a 'Dream Partner' of his choosing. COACH Do we have any idea who it is yet? COLE Not yet. I assume we'll know just as soon as PRL and Landon do. COACH That hardly seems fair. I mean, unless Zack's having trouble finding a partner which is entirely possible, why shouldn't he be made to name him in time for PR and Landon to prepare? COLE It's a little thing called 'intrigue' Coach. Sells tickets. COACH We come here like what, once a millenium? We coulda sold this place out with Biff Atlas in the main-event. Thankfully, it's at this point that the lights go down in the arena. The crowd know what's coming and already begin to whistle and cat-call, as Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. The entrance doors slide open and out come "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, his girlfriend and Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick! The crowd boos away as PRL holds his black briefcase spray-painted with L.C. in yellow high, which of course contains his Golden Contract inside. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Dream Partner tag team main-event, scheduled for one fall!! Introducing team number one. First, accompanied to the ring this evening by STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK and the OAOAST Women's Champion, MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ! He hails from San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... he is, THE PUUUEEEEEEERRRRRRTTOOOOOOOOO... RRRRIIIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAANN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" PRL looks at the crowd in disgust, jawing with one section as he climbs onto the ring apron. Popick holds the ropes open for his man and Tha Puerto Rican enters, spinning around and soaking in the fans' boos. PRL busts out the classic 'HBK muscle pose' as pyro goes off behind him, Popick displaying PR with pride like a prize on The Price Is Right. COLE PRL, getting as warm of a reception here in London, England as he does everywhere else in the world. COACH Except Puerto Rico of course. COLE Well, maybe. As PRL does his rounds of the turnbuckles, smelling the electricity on each side of the arena... "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" ...he gets rudely interrupted! The lights dim, alternating between complete blackout and really frikkin' bright as "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson hits. From behind the curtain steps Megan Skye, heralding the arrival of The World Champion, Landon Maddix, who stops at the top of the ramp and thrusts his hands out to his side to resounding boos. The lights stop alternating but stay dimmed as he walks to the ring, head held high as you'd expect from the Champ. BUFFER And, his tag team partner! Accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE! Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... weighing in at two hundred and eight pounds... he is the reigning OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... LLLAAAAAANNDDOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" With his 'partner' watching on with a displeased look on his face, Maddix makes sure all eyes are on him as he unstraps his World Title and places it over his right shoulder. Jogging up the ring steps, Landon then makes his entrance in similar fashion to PRL, spinning into centre stage as Megan holds the ropes for him. That alone creates some tension between Champion and soon-to-be-challenger, forcing Megan, Lindsay and Popick to step in and mediate. COLE No love lost between Landon and PRL. But they have a common goal tonight, to defeat and soften up Zack Malibu ahead of AngleSlam. Popick continues to ram that point home as Landon and PRL continue to glare daggers at each other. It's not until "Getting Away With Murder" hits and the crowd erupt on every side around them that they finally break their staredown and turn to the entrance way. BUFFER And the opponents! First, hailing from Providence, Rhode Island... weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds, he is the former three-time World Heavyweight Champion... "THE FRANCHISE"... ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK... MMMMMMAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIBBUUUUUUUUUU!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Malibu enters the arena on his own, welcomed by the cheers of the crowd. As he heads down to the ring, Maddix and Tha Puerto Rican keep their eyes on the aisleway, waiting for Malibu's partner to appear and follow him to the ring. Surprisingly, no one follows, and Malibu hits the ringside area solo, circling around the ring while his foes dare him to step through the ropes. COACH You think he's got a partner, Cole? COLE It wouldn't surprise me to see Malibu try to take his two rivals on solo, but I have a feeling there's more than meets the eye here. Zack takes the mic from Michael Buffer, and then steps through the ropes, walking up to both his opponents and looking them in their eyes before stepping back and speaking. MALIBU I know what's on your mind, guys. I know that you and everyone else in here, wants to know who my partner is going to be tonight. You wanna know who has my back tonight? All in due time. COLE All in due time? Did he PICK a partner at all? Maddix shouts "We're waiting!" to Malibu, daring him to end the theatrics, but Zack continues on. MALIBU Give me a minute here, Landon. It'll be worth the wait, trust me. You see, as soon as this match got announced, I knew what I had to do. I knew exactly who to pick for this match, because it was the right thing to do. No, it's not any of The Hooligans, and it's not any of the Originals, so you can throw your obvious choices right out the window right now. Because there is someone deserving of a chance to prove himself in this company. A man who's been too wrapped up in issues that were no fault of his own. An endentured servant needing to be set free.. Suddenly, Maddix shoves PRL down, shouting at him, to the shock of everyone. PRL gets up, but Zack of all people steps between them, keeping them away from each other. MALIBU Hey...HEY! What's with the tension, guys? C'mon Maddix, you're jumping the gun...I didn't get one of the Lightning Crew lackeys to start a revolution... Maddix, now infuriated that Zack has made him look like a fool (and strike his partner), screams for Malibu to cut to the chase. MALIBU ...you really wanna know? Maddix and PRL, in unison, shout "YES!", before glaring at each other for having the same thoughts. MALIBU Then let me tell you who it is. It's someone that can be a breakout star in this company. Someone with all the talent needed to succeed, but with one fatal flaw. Loyalty. How is that a flaw? Because this guy has spent his career remaining loyal to the wrong people. People who use his talent for their own gain. People who keep him on their side simply because they know they can't afford to have him as an opponent. People, like a certain World Champion, who deep down knew all along that this day was coming. Malibu peers into the eyes of Landon Maddix, and Landon gulps, appearing to know what's coming. MALIBU Ladies and gentlemen, my partner tonight...the URBAN LEGEND, TODD CORTEZ! COLE WHAT!? Maddix, quickly, takes the mic out of Zack's hands before Todd's music can be hit, and starts screaming. MADDIX Wait a minute...WAIT A GOD DAMN MINUTE! Hehe. No way, there is NO WAY Todd is going to be your partner! No...Todd Cortez is MY friend, Malibu. He's MY partner. We came up through the SWF together, we came here and made your life a living HELL...what makes you think Todd Cortez owes YOU anything!? The crowd pops loudly as Cortez sprints down the aisle, sliding into the ring. CORTEZ Landon, BACK OFF. Again, the crowd pops, as Todd puts Landon in his place, and takes the mic from him. CORTEZ Malibu...you've got some balls on you, man. After all we've been through, all that went down last year between The Wildcards and you, and now you're gonna use ME as a part of your games? Zack, who has been given another mic by Michael Buffer in the midst of all this, responds. MALIBU Then look me in the eye and tell me you're happy about where you're at. Can you honestly say you're happy being stuck as the background to a guy that you don't even LIKE? I'm no fool, Todd. I know about everything that went down in the SWF. I know that you spent your time there honoring your old tag partner because you felt that his early retirement was partly your fault. How you wound up back by the side of this clown I'll never know, but your loyalty is doing you more harm than good, and you're blind to it. You think HE'S good for your career? You want to make something of yourself, and that's all you ever wanted. You want to make your family proud, you want to honor your brother, but THIS is not how to do it. Landon screams from behind Todd, telling Malibu to stop "making up lies", but Todd turns around and backs Landon up himself. CORTEZ So what, you're telling me I shouldn't be obligated to anyone, yet you're asking for my help? MALIBU I'm asking you to open your eyes. You don't owe me a damn thing, and honestly, we'll never be best friends...but neither will you two. You're gonna get run into the ground as his workhorse, doing all the dirty work so Maddix keeps the blood off his hands. Is THAT what you want? Don't you deserve better than that? Wasn't that always the plan, Todd? To make yourself better than the hand you were dealt? Cortez grows silent, thinking over Malibu's words, when Maddix steals the mic from him. MADDIX You... don't even TELL me you're listening to this crap! After all we've been through, you're going to listen to HIM? HIM!??! Cortez speaks down into the mic, and says all of two words. "He's right." The crowd goes nuts. Maddix fumes. MADDIX What did you just say? Cortez steals the mic from Landon, and inches closer to his "friend". CORTEZ I SAID he's RIGHT. For almost three years now, I've been living everyone else's life. I did everything for everyone else, because I'm not selfish. I don't ask for much, but the one thing I ask for is RESPECT, Landon. RESPECT is something that I got from Mike Van Siclen. RESPECT is something that I got from Alan Clark... and whether you like it or not, I just got more respect from a man I was forced to torture just one year ago, than I EVER got from you. Maddix looks like he's about to shit, while Malibu and PRL keep at bay. MADDIX Do you know what you're saying to me? You do this now, there's no going back. Not tomorrow, not a week from now, not EVER. CORTEZ That's the idea. Maddix's lip quivers as he tries to find the words to direct at his now former running buddy, while Cortez addresses Malibu. CORTEZ Let's clear the air though, Malibu. I do this, but after tonight, I don't owe you a damn thing. I respect you, but I don't owe you. Malibu nods in agreement and puts his hand out, and after a moment of hesitation, Todd Cortez accepts it to a HUGE pop... ...and then turns around JUST as Landon Maddix was going to clock him with the microphone! Landon freezes, dropping the microphone before he begins to plead his case. Cortez isn't having it, however, because if a handshake with Zack Malibu wasn't enough, flooring his former Martial Law partner with a right hand certainly gets the point across! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH What the hell is going on here!? Tha Puerto Rican tries to intervene, but Malibu cuts him off, staggering him with a flurry of right hands and then sends him over the ropes with a clothesline, while Landon quickly rolls out of the ring, away from Cortez! Megan rushes over to her man, looking as shocked as he does. COLE A shocking turn of events here tonight... Zack Malibu's dream partner is Landon Maddix's worst nightmare! Todd Cortez has broken free of the chains that bound him, and when we come back, Zack Malibu and Todd Cortez will take on Tha Puerto Rican and the World Heavyweight Champion! *COMMERCIAL BREAK!* COLE Welcome back to Syndicated, and if you're just joining us, you've missed out on a truly shocking turn of events. Todd Cortez was selected by Zack Malibu to be his partner against Landon Maddix and Tha Puerto Rican here tonight and accepted the role, breaking ties with the World Champion and becoming his own man! The in-ring action began during the break, as right now Malibu is trapped in the corner by Tha Puerto Rican, who cracks him in the chest with a pair of forearms before pulling him out. Malibu is sent to the far corner, but when PRL charges in, Zack tucks and rolls, avoiding the oncoming charge! Tha Puerto Rican turns around only to be hiptossed to the canvas by Malibu, and the fans rejoice at their hero taking charge. An Irish whip sends PRL to the ropes and back bodydropped on the rebound... but as Malibu comes up to a vertical base, he's nailed with a hard running kick from Maddix, who blind tagged himself in! COACH That's teamwork, baby! COLE You know, you're right, Coach. Tha Puerto Rican and Landon Maddix have the common goal of wanting to eliminate Zack Malibu before Angleslam, and with that motivation they can be a formidable team. Malibu picked Todd Cortez as his partner tonight, a man he held in contempt since early last year, and while Cortez has apparently seen the light so to speak, one has to wonder if he and Zack can work together, or if this could all be some grand ploy thought up by Maddix and/or Tha Puerto Rican! Maddix puts the boots to Zack, then stands over him and slaps him in the face, telling him in no uncertain terms to "respect your World Champion!" Maddix then goes over the corner and start pointing and shouting at Cortez, but when the Urban Legend makes a move to step into the ring, Maddix quickly backs off, not wanting to lock horns with his now former charge. COACH I tell ya, if it is a ploy, Cortez sure is doing a job of making it seem like he wants to tear Landon apart. Landon turns around and drills Zack with a right as he's getting up, then nails him with a European uppercut...but Zack fights back, nailing Maddix with a flurry of chops that blister his chest...until Landon jabs a thumb in his eye! Maddix smiles to the audience, who respond to the move with their normal dislike for the reigning OAOAST World Champion, then brings Zack to the corner, where he rams his head into the top turnbuckle...or not, as Malibu puts a foot up to block the move, then sends the World Champion's face directly into a turnbuckle! Maddix tries to move away, but Zack takes him by the head and rams his head into the turnbuckle a few more times, in rapid succession, before dropping him with a scoop slam. Zack then comes off the ropes and nails Landon with a kneedrop across his forehead, and that leads to the first pinfall of the match. ONE! T-NO! Maddix is as resilient as he is brash, and gets a shoulder up almost as soon as the count begins. He's led up to his feet by Zack, who tries for a back suplex...but Landon floats over and spins Malibu around before shoving him! Zack gives Landon a look that expresses feelings of "are you KIDDING me?" and shoves back, causing the champion to fume. Landon and Zack go nose to nose now, their faces red with anger as they lock up, vying for position. Both men get their taste of an advantage, until Malibu snares Landon by the head and brings him over to the canvas! Zack holds on, but Landon uses a headscissors to pull him off, and both men get back to their feet. Zack goes for an open hand slap, gets blocked, and gets the second attempt blocked as well. Maddix then drives a boot into his gut, hammers him with a forearm across the back of the neck, and takes Zack over with a suplex that rocks the ring! Landon gets up and hits the ropes, following thru with a kick to the side of Zack's face as he gets up! COLE They'd be proud of that one, right here in the home of soccer. COACH Apparantly, they call it 'football' over here. What a backwards country, eh? Zack winds up hanging over the middle rope, and Landon sits on his back, pulling up on the rope in an attempt to strangle Malibu! At the referee's demand, Landon backs off (after taking advantage of the five count, natch), then leans over the top rope and rakes at Zack's face, tearing the skin back before being forced to break by Nick Patrick once again. Landon pleads his case, but it's just an opening for PRL to get involved, as he runs across the apron and jumps to the floor, bringing Zack's throat down across the middle rope! COLE There's what we talked about earlier! Tha Puerto Rican and Landon Maddix want to take Zack Malibu out of the equation and they are working hard at it tonight, breaking whatever rules they see fit in the process of course! Once PRL does his part, Landon rolls Zack onto his back and covers, barking at Patrick to start counting. ONE! TW-KICKOUT! COACH Looks like they're gonna be doin' a lot more of it, Mikey Cole. Maddix brings Zack up, trapping him in a front facelock to keep him at bay while Landon makes the tag. PRL comes in, and with Zack held in the facelock, kicks him in the stomach and then takes over for Landon, putting him in a headlock. PRL leads Zack to center ring, wrenching the hold, but when Malibu gathers himself, he lifts PRL up off his feet...but Tha Puerto Rican holds on, able to bring himself back to earth! Malibu tries a different approach, shoving PRL forward before he can totally regain his balance, and when PRL hits the ropes, Zack tries for a hiptoss on the rebound. He catches PRL, but the Lightning Crew leader won't go over, and instead counters with one of his own. This time it's Zack who won't be taken over, but PRL acts quick, hitting a knee to the gut, then drapes his leg over Zack's head, gaining some leverage as he backflips over to his feet...and just barely ducks a Malibu lariat! Both men run the ropes and try for dropkicks, and both come up short. As they get back to their feet PRL tries a chop, but Zack blocks with his elbows, then takes PRL's arm and wrenches, moving behind him in a hammerlock. PRL swings around, trying to use his free elbow to strike, but Zack ducks, hits an inverted atomic drop, and then runs the ropes to put some momentum behind a spinning wheel kick that nails Tha Puerto Rican across the tip of his chin! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Zack, so quick! COACH He's goin' for the tag Mikey! Sure enough, once he gains his bearings after the spinkick, Zack begins to scramble for his corner. But before he can make the tag Landon scoots in and blindsights him, dragging Malibu into the centre of the ring before he's forced to re-assume his position on the apron. COLE Landon seems to want no part of his former right-hand man. COACH Or, he just wants Zack to take all the punishment and maybe end up less than 100% for AngleSlam. COLE Or, both. PRL tags Landon back in, the World Champion again forced to cut off a tag on the other side. Landon stomps away on Zack, gradually moving towards the ribs once he's softened The Franchise up. Taking a moment to warn his tenuous partner to 'buck his ideas up', Landon then whips Zack into the ropes, looking for a clothesline. Zack swoops underneath though, coming off the ropes and hitting Landon with the spinning wheel kick! COLE Well, that ought to shut Landon's mouth. Literally and figuratively. With Maddix down, it's PRL's turn to come in and prevent the tag. He drags Zack away, drawing Cortez into the ring. The referee is distracted as now PRL works over Zack, firing off right hands as he waits for Landon to get back up. The makeshift partners find enough co-operation within them to whip Malibu off the ropes, ready for a double team. But a double clothesline misses the mark and Zack comes back, connecting with a foot a-piece on a double dropkick! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Now BOTH men down! This must be Zack's chance to tag! *clap clap clapclapclap, clap clap clap clap* "COR - TEZ!" *clap clap clapclapclap, clap clap clap clap* "COR - TEZ!" COLE Listen to this. I never, ever thought I'd hear an OAOAST crowd cheering or chanting for Todd Cortez! COACH Me neither! The English crowd's football (*groan*... 'soccer') chant makes it clear what they want. Malibu is back up before his opponents, but in the wrong half of the ring. And with Landon and PRL quickly regaining their feet, Zack has to act quickly. Tucking and rolling, he avoids the lunges of both opponents, coming up to his feet in the corner AND MAKING THE TAG!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Here comes Cortez!! Landon's eyes bulge and quick as a flash, he dives for the outside. Cortez goes right for Tha Puerto Rican then, springboarding to the top rope and wiping out The Corporate Champion with a high-flying dropkick! Wheeling around, Cortez looks for Landon. He's routed to the floor though, so Cortez grabs PRL. A European Uppercut connects. And a second. One more, setting up and irish whip. Tha Puerto Rican goes underneath a clothesline and builds up some speed, throwing himself at Todd with a crossbody... CAUGHT! Cortez catches PRL in his arms and throws him with a Fallaway Slam! ONE! TWO! Save by Landon! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Immediately, Landon begins to regret his intervention as The Urban Legend stands straight up. Maddix tries to beg off from his now former ally, crossing his heart on his honesty over a handshake offer. But what he doesn't realise is deep down, even as allies, Cortez has been waiting for this moment on and off for the best part of a year. And he can't wait to grab Landon by his blond hair, backing him up into a corner and UNLOADING with a heavy combo of right hands!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh my! The World Champion's closest, possibly only ally, an ally no more! COACH What an ingrate! What a dirty, rotten ingrate Cortez turned out to be! COLE What are you talking about!? With Megan only able to watch on in despair, Cortez continues to beat the hell out of his former partner. Irish whip follows, sending Landon corner to corner and HARD upside down in the turnbuckles! Teetering on the top, Landon manages to avoid tumbling to the floor and rolls back down the turnbuckles. However, he walks straight into a Crotch-Droppah from Cortez! Landon almost takes flight from the force of the landing and immediately rolls to the floor. Cortez is ready to follow, until a recovered PR attacks from behind. Shaky leg kicks from The Corporate Champion, beating Cortez down before he "smells the electricity"! COACH He's smelling it! He's smelling it! PR whips Cortez off the ropes. Leapfrog from Tha Puerto Rican. And a reverse leapfrog... RIGHT ONTO CORTEZ'S SHOULDERS!! PRL Cortez carries PRL around in the electric chair for a second or two before he gains his bearings, reaching down and jamming a finger into the eye of The Urban Legend. PRL then slides down the back and grabs the back of Cortez's head, running him to the ropes and vaulting to the outside, dropping him throat-first across the top rope with The Ricochet! However, the moment PRL turns to get back into the ring, Air Malibu takes off WIPING OUT THA PUERTO RICAN WITH A SUICIDE DIVE THAT SENDS BOTH INTO THE EDGE OF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!! COACH YO~!!!! COLE It's broken down here, bodies all over the place! Slowly getting to his feet, Cortez looks out at the bodies strewn in front of the announce table. He then turns around, guided by the crowd... into a DROPSAULT by Landon! Quickly Maddix hooks the leg with all his might... ONE! TWO! NO! MADDIX COME ON REFEREE!! Maddix rushes to his feet... and hesitates. Almost unsure over whether to put the boots to Cortez, as he eventually does. With the crowd booing his every move, Landon soon gets into the swing of things and begins to smile away as he lands with the stomps. Landon then backs off, encouraging Cortez back to his feet. However, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Zack and PRL beginning to get back up. The two rivals scrap away on the floor. Providing the perfect target for Maddix, who propels himself through bottom and middle rope WITH THE TOPÉ ESPECIAL!!! COLE WOAH! Maddix, taking out Zack... and PRL! And I've got my suspicions, that was no accident. COACH No shit, Sherlock. COLE I meant taking out PRL. The three components of AngleSlam's main-event lay on the floor and in a round about away, help/drag each other back up. Which leaves just Todd Cortez. No stranger to a risk or two, Cortez walks over to that side of the ring and shows great balance by climbing the ropes in the centre. Getting his footing on the top rope he then soars, WIPING EVERYONE OUT, INCLUDING STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK, WITH A SHOOTING STAR SUICIDA!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE OH, MY~! "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" Understandably, all four men are slow getting up. It's Cortez up first though, throwing PRL into the ring and following close after. As PRL climbs back up he's measured by The Urban Legend, who waits for him to turn around before burying a boot into the gut. Lindsay Gonzalez reacts almost as quickly as the fans, who pop at the prospect of the Riot Act Plus... but as Lindsay jumps to the apron and distracts the ref, PRL goes low! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ugh, typical PRL! A cheapshot, with his fiancee providing the distraction! COACH The Women's Champion, Lindsay Gonzalez. COLE What does that have to do with anything? With Cortez stunner by the shot below the belt, Tha Puerto Rican quickly pulls Todd in by the arm and puts the spine on the pine, dead centre of the ring! Lindsay drops back to the floor, as in spite of themselves, the fans rise to their feet. PRL removes his right elbow pad, spitting on it and throwing it into the face of The Urban Legend. He does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, jumps over Cortez, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. PR stops short of the elbow and just simply flips Todd off... and then drops the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, the INTENSEZONE ELBOW! "YEEEEAAHHHH - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH The IntenseZone Elbow! The IntenseZone Elbow, the most electrifying move in spor... *SMACK!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE SCHOOL'S OUT!! SCHOOL'S OUT!! Zack catches PRL in a pre-mature celebration with the Superkick and slumps over top with the cover... ONE! TWO! TH- NO, LANDON SAVES!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Straight up to his feet, Landon catches Malibu on the way up with a kick. Lining him up, Landon then fires off a HARD roundhouse to the chest! Zack falls backwards, getting rolled right the way through as his feet fly up and being lifted up into a fireman's carry... NO! Zack escapes down the back and goes for the ANGLE SLA... NO! With a quick hop, Maddix lands behind! Both men stumble and as Zack meets the turnbuckles, he quickly pushes himself off, coming with SCHOOL'S OUT... *SMACK!* ...NAILING PRL FOR A SECOND TIME!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Aw, damn it! COLE PRL gets hit again... and I think Landon might have pulled him in the way! As Tha Puerto Rican collapses through the ropes and to the floor, Landon capitalises on the brief confusion, as he catches Zack and drives him face-first with the Complete Shot! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Zack rebounds off the canvas hard. With his opponent already beginning to roll, Landon kicks Zack the rest of the way out of the ring, putting the badmouth on him as he hits the ringside mats. Little does the World Champion realise what's behind him though. With a last insult thrown at The Franchise, Maddix turns around... into a boot! Standing headscissors, Cortez giving the signal.... *WHAM!* ...AND SPIKING MADDIX ON HIS HEAD WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE Oh my God, he got him! COACH Oh no... The fans are on their feet, as Cortez flips Landon over, hooking the leg, Megan watching on with her hands on her head... ONE! TWO! THREEEEEE!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE OH. MY! BUFFER Your winners of the match... the team of "THE URBAN LEGEND" TODD CORTEZ and ZACK MMMAAAALLIIIIBBUUUUUUU!!!! The London crowd are going positively NUTS, as Cortez's hand is raised in victory. The not-so quick thinking production team, not being told ahead of time of Zack's partner, cue up "Getting Away With Murder". But it doesn't matter to Cortez what music is playing as he stands over Landon Maddix, victorious. COLE What a shocking turn of events... another shocking turn of events, in a situation rife with them! Todd Cortez has PINNED the World Heavyweight Champion! COACH Look at Megan, she can't believe this is happening. I can't either! As Landon's World Heavyweight Title is passed into the ring ready for him to wake-up, Cortez quickly snatches it from the referee. Leaning over the unconscious La Cucaracha, Cortez yells something at the fallen Champion before raising the title over his head, to a huge cheer! On the outside, Zack Malibu looks on, seemingly unsure of what to make of what's just happened. Next to him, Popick has the same look as he kneels beside Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Until about ten minutes ago, Cortez was still Landon Maddix's, for the want of a better word, 'lackey'. And now, he stands over him, holding his World Heavyweight Championship!! What the hell does this mean for Landon Maddix, for all of these men in the run-up to AngleSlam 2007!? Cortez finally drapes the belt over the still KOed World Champion. Eyeing up Malibu, he then exits the ring and backs up the aisle as we... FADE OUT. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2007 PRODUCED BY OAOAST Entertainment EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Zack Malibu DIRECTED BY Ed Wood Caulfield OAOAST CREATED BY cobainwasmurdered Tony149 Anglesault WRITTEN BY Ed Wood Caulfield King Cucaracha Tony149 Alfdogg Patty O'Green Zack Malibu © 2007 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
