I want to take a straight razor to the bitch on the home depot ad

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Jesus christ, that bitch flailing around and too retarded to remember words like "garland" or "talking turkey doll." If I worked retail and actually encountered someone like that, I'd kick them out of the store.

 

Then cut her face seven or eight times with a straight razor.

[At Home 0]

Do it

[Nighthawk 0]

I'll tell an actual retarded retail story.

 

A woman once wanted to buy a life vest to wear on her commute to work everyday in case the bridge collapsed. (This was right after that other bridge collapsed). I said "Yeah, that was a different kind of bridge. This bridge, the fall alone would kill you. And the odds are pretty low it'll collapse anyway." She said you can't be too careful. Should have sold her a couple more for her kids.

[Jingus 0]

Man, that's hardcore stupidity right there. The best story I got was working at a music store and having this one woman come up to me and ask "Do you have that CD about shoes?"

 

Would the straight razor in question have a snail crawling on the edge, and a big old bald fat guy soliloquizing about it?

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

No, and this isn't about your goddamned retail stories, this is about ONE bitch, in ONE commercial, and wanting to see her spewing blood.

[Nighthawk 0]

But I've never seen that commercial.

[Jorge Gorgeous 0]

Man, that's hardcore stupidity right there. The best story I got was working at a music store and having this one woman come up to me and ask "Do you have that CD about shoes?"

 

Would the straight razor in question have a snail crawling on the edge, and a big old bald fat guy soliloquizing about it?

 

Yeah, that sounds stupid at first, but it could have just been a mother who was buying a CD for her kid and the kid told her "Get me the CD with the Vans song on it!"

[EricMM 0]

Air Force Ones?

[Jorge Gorgeous 0]

My Adidas?

 

Or that A.D.I.D.A.S. song by Big Boi?

 

Vans Song by Lagwagon?

 

Cold shoeser?

[B@RTOK 0]

I think the best story I have to tell is someone walked into bestbuy and asked me where the electronics were.

[justsoyouknow 0]

No, and this isn't about your goddamned retail stories, this is about ONE bitch, in ONE commercial, and wanting to see her spewing blood.