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The Niggardly King

HAOPPY FUCKIN NEW YEAR

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YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

IT'S FUCKIN ON ! WE BRINGIN IT THIS YEAR, IT'S TIME NIGGAHS, WE DOI9MN IT BEIG TYME

Put the alcohol down!

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I'M GONNA BE CHOPPIN FUCKAS LIKE FLAIR THIS YEAR

 

That made me legit LOL.

 

I guess I'll share my new year's story here, copied and pasted from my blog due to laziness.

 

I ended up going to Jeremy's house to hang with him, Jesse, Aaron, Katrina, and later, Eddie and Justin. Aaron, Kat, and I headed over there shortly before 10, and things were going very well. We were all just hanging out, having fun, drinking (well, not Jeremy).

 

About 2 A.M. is when shit started to go down. Aaron and Katrina were fighting. Katrina went up into an upstairs bedroom. She was crying. Eddie and I tried to talk to her, but didn't get much out of her.

 

I went downstairs and talked to Aaron. He seemed to be perfectly rational and level headed. That turned out not to be the case. Aaron went upstairs into the room with Katrina. I went intothe adjacent room to grab my hoodie. There was yelling, and I barely made it down the stairs before Aaron stormed down there, shoved me and Eddie, and ran off. He also punched and broke the porch light.

 

Katrina barricaded herself in the bathroom and wouldn't talk to any of us. Eventually, she came out, saying she had to find Aron. I blocked her from leaving through the front door, but she ended up getting out through the back.

 

Jeremy, Eddie, and I (Justin was sleeping) went out and searched for her, with no luck. Aaron came back and was threatening to hurt or kill everyone. I told his dumb drunk ass that he was the reason Katrina left in the first place, so he was in no place to be making demands of us. He tried to come after me.

 

It turns out that around the same time, he tried to strangle Jeremy in order to get his car keys back. After he got them, he was driving around trying to find Katrina. He came back and tried to come in through the sliding glass door. I refused to let him in, and he said, "Matt, if you walk away, I'm going to make you regret it." I walked away.

 

Not long after, Aaron's mom (who he apparently called) showed up. For whatever reason, she seemed to make Aaron out to be a sympathetic figure. The police showed up, we all talked to them, and miraculously, Aaron was not arrested.

 

The whole night was fucked up. I didn't leave til 8:30, when I headed to McDonald's tried one of those McSkillet burritos (recommended, btw) and then came home and went to sleep.

 

I hope Katrina ended up getting home okay. As for Aaron... Fuck him. He's extremely lucky he didn't get arrested, get his ass whipped, or both. Eddie, Justin, Jeremy, and myself all decided that we want nothing to do with him anymore. We don't need that bullshit.

 

Despite the hectic night, I still have high hopes for 2008: The year of Matt Youngin' It. ;)

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You're too old for this shit, Young.

Come on Milky, this is Matt here.

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It's one thing I've really enjoyed about aging, I pretty much never have to deal with "drama" anymore. It's so refreshing.

 

This is what I did for new years (it's also a drunk story, but it's a funny one):

 

I went to a house party where my friend's band played. Half the people there were straight edge anyway, and the rest only nursed beers, but there was one girl who got completely wasted, and we spent maybe 45 minutes just laughing at her (although not in a mean way, I hope). She kept saying she wanted to "multifight" people. I think she was trying to say muay thai fight. I agreed to spar with her, and she almost seriously kicked me in the face, but then fell over backwards. When she started beating the shit out of the Christmas tree, her boyfriend took her home. It was hilarious.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

Multifighting..good idea. Get like six or seven pairs of people, and have them whoop the shit out of each other in a garage.

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I went to the Tempe Town Lake Block Party. Spent over a hundred and fifty dollars, watched the Love Me Nots and Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers, did copious amounts of shots, and slept on an apartment floor until I had to be at work at 11 this morning. All in all, my New Year's Resolutions are as follows: stop smoking, start taking care of myself, stop being such a pussy, start banging more hot chicks.

 

Oh, and Matt Young is such a fucking faggot. For real.

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I went to the Tempe Town Lake Block Party. Spent over a hundred and fifty dollars, watched the Love Me Nots and Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers, did copious amounts of shots, and slept on an apartment floor until I had to be at work at 11 this morning. All in all, my New Year's Resolutions are as follows: stop smoking, start taking care of myself, stop being such a pussy, start banging more hot chicks.

 

Oh, and Matt Young is such a fucking faggot. For real.

 

How am I a faggot again?

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Guest My Pal, the Tortoise

I was going to say "yeah, Jessie is such a bitch," but then there really was a Jesse, much to my non-surprise.

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Guest My Pal, the Tortoise

Rick Springfield lyrics

 

And hey, that song is just as good as the second-tier hit singles by The Cars, if you ask me. Did Ric Ocasek produce it? It's not quite at the level of gems like "Moving in Stereo," "Drive," "Touch and Go," or "Just What I Needed," but it's on par with, say, "Magic," "Shake It Up," or "Good Times Roll."

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Other people share their stories and no one blinks. Matt Young shares a story, and everyone decides to make dumbass comments because it's Matt Young. How utterly typical, and sad.

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Guest My Pal, the Tortoise

Name-dropping people that your audience doesn't know at all is obnoxious whenever anybody does it. Like one time in high school, after that whole powderpuff hazing incident from five years ago, my best friend was like "well I know people that go to Glenbrook North, and Laura told me that..." something like that, Laura being some fairly reputed local child actress or something, so I told her "nobody even knows who you're talking about, loser," and later, she agreed that she was in fact a loser! Matt Young could benefit from this self-awareness.

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Guest My Pal, the Tortoise

I wanted to come back to this thread to further discuss The Cars' greatest hits.

 

EDIT: Oh my God, Matt Young just talked about himself in the third person. Ultimate dicksucker.

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What about LSD threads Czech? Douchebag's "rachel and kenny are screwed u guys, lol" is somewhat more entertaining than "I just ruined the lives of two separate people whom I shall not name".

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