AP: LETHAL RUMBLE MATCH (FINITO~!)

[King Cucaracha 0]

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen... it is now time... for the 2008 LETHAL RUMBLE MATCH!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

BUFFER
Now, here are the rules...

Over walks Howard Finkel for his one OAOAST appearance a year, to run down the rules as only he can.

COACH
Do we really have to go through this every year?

COLE
Well, considering the rules seem to change every year, then yes.

FINK
Earlier today, those participating in the Lethal Rumble match drew numbers from 1-30 at random. In just a few moments, those men who drew numbers 1 and 2 will enter the ring, and the match will begin. Every two minutes thereafter, another participant enters the match, according to the number he pulled. Remember, in the Lethal Rumble, it is every man for himself! Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown out over the top rope, and BOTH FEET must touch the floor. The one man remaining in the ring after all 30 participants have entered, will be declared the winner, and will receive an OAOAST Championship match at ANGLEMANIA VII!



[b]*THE CHAMP IS HERE!*[/b]

A lightning bolt hits the stage, sending a plume of smoke up into the air as "Know Your Role 2000" begins to play through the arena. The crowd rise to their feet as one as Tha Puerto Rican himself emerges through the smoke. Cracking out his neck and his knuckles, PRL takes a deep intake of breath before he begins to march to the ring with a determined look on his face. The camera cuts deep into the crowd, to a group of six fans clad in full PRL garb, all with ridiculously oversized comedy eyebrows over one eye and giving PR the thumbs up.

BUFFER
Introducing at this time, he is the man ASSIGNED the number 1 position in this year's Lethal Rumble. Competing in his fifth successive Lethal Rumble Match! He hails from San Juan, Puerto Rico! One half of the BAD BOYZ... "THE P.R MENACE!!"... ladies and gentlemen, he is... THA PPPUUUUUUEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRTTOOOOOOOOOOOO... RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Tha Puerto Rican has another moment to himself to psyche himself up before he marches up the steps, scaling the turnbuckles on the outside and saluting his fans.

COLE
Last year PRL made it down to the final three. But he faces perhaps the fight of his life here tonight in order to match and he will hope better that accomplishment. Not only has Stephen Joseph Popick used his Corporate Connections to make sure PR starts the match off as the number one entrant, but he's also convinced Vitamin X to part with one million dollars of his money by way of a bounty on the head of Tha Puerto Rican!

COACH
And remember a couple of years ago, when Zack Malibu had the bounty on his head? Did he win the Lethal Rumble?

COLE
No he did not.

COACH
Exactly. And that wasn't half the reward that's on offer to twenty nine superstars this time around! Let's face it, when Popick wants something done, he does it right. Just like his acquisition of The Lightning Crew and transformation into the SJPC, he's got his bases covered when it comes to keeping PRL out of the World Title picture!

Scaling another set of turnbuckles, PRL smells the electricity in the Philips Arena. Jumping off the turnbuckles, PRL tosses his sunglasses and jacket aside, readying himself for battle.

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican with the deck stacked firmly against him. But you know what they say about a cornered animal being at it's most dangerous. The number one slot, the bounty, the heavy involvement of Corporate members... they might just end up empowering PRL here tonight!

BUFFER
And now, introducing the man who drew number two!

A buzz cuts through the arena, as for a moment there's silence. PR's eyes are locked on the entrance way as he crouches down, waving the number two man on.

COACH
C'mon, Corp, Corp, Corp...


"Come on God, Answer Me.
For Years, I've Been Asking You Why?
Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive?
Where is Justice? Where is Punishment?"

COACH
Oh-ho... even BETTER!!

"Or Have You Already Answered?
Have You Already Said to the World,
Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. 
Here....
In Me."

"Punishment" by BIOHAZARD powers out, as does Brock Ausstin with a cold look on his face. Brock does the 'Happy Happy Hoss Dance' in the aisle before heading right for a dejected PRL.

BUFFER
From Victoria, Minnessota... tonight, making his SIXTH consecutive Lethal Rumble appearance... "THE CURRENT BIG THING" in professional sports... BBRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOCK... AAAAAUUUUUUUSSSSSSSTTIIIIIIIIIIIINN!!!!

COLE
Brock, a real Lethal Rumble veteran! He reached the final five in both 04 and 06! And in the past two years, he's eliminated a total of six men!

COACH
You're not going to be like this all night, are you?

In one impressive leap, Brock jumps from the arena floor to the ring apron... but as soon as he steps inside the ring, he gets jumped by PRL!!


*DINGDINGDING!*

Realising he has to act and act quickly, PRL clubs away on Brock before he knows what's hit him. Forearm after forearm rains down on Brock, only stopped for the occassional kick to the ribs to go with it. That is until Brock suddenly muscles up and picks PRL over his shoulder, charging him back into a corner with a ring shaking shoulder drive!!

COLE
No surprise, Brock Ausstin coming out here in top gear. No holding back, no worries of conserving energy for later on.

COACH
And he's got two minutes, just him and PRL. Two minutes to bag himself a cool million!

Trapped in the corner, PRL is too winded to do much except try and choke Brock out with a front facelock. Brock simply shrugs PR off though, before driving his shoulder into the ribs! And again! A third time, PRL falling against the bottom turnbuckle as Brock backs away doing his Happy Happy Hoss Dance again!

"P - R!"
"P - R!"
"P - R!"
"P - R!"

Sucking wind, Tha Puerto Rican uses the ropes to pull him up but soon regrets doing so as Brock comes charging back in with a clothesline to flatten him again.

COLE
Brock, 290 pounds of pure power!

COACH
Okay, calm down JR.

COLE
:huh:

Brock pulls Tha Puerto Rican back to his feet. The moment he fills a hand sink around his neck though, PRL goes deadweight to the canvas refusing to be thrown over the top. Brock doesn't seem too concerned and nails PRL with a right hand. Away crawls Tha Puerto Rican into a corner, possibly luring Brock in as he catches him with a shot to the gut as he approaches. PRL then unloads with a succession of Rock style punches, the crowd roaring him on as he starts to back Brock up, step by step, getting him into the middle of the ring before kissin' the left... BLOCKED, Brock catching the arm and then scything PRL down with an STO!!

"OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!"

The Current Big Thing pulls himself back up and stomps away, while the Lethal Rumble Countdown begins in earnest for the first time.


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"

COLE
We're about to get our third entrant here.

"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"

Brock seems happy to bide his time now, picking PRL up only to drop him with another right hand.

"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

A collective groan goes up as "Money Talks" hits and The Enterprise's CEO himself, Theodore Moneymaker, makes his second appearance of the night.

COLE
No wonder Moneymaker didn't look happy earlier on!

COACH
That's okay. It just gives him more of a chance to become even richer by eliminating PRL! Not that he needs it of course, but as the song says, Money Talks!

The Billion Dollar Heir takes his time getting to the ring, watching the action in the ring carefully. Brock glances his way and Moneymaker waves for him to "carry on" while he slowly takes off his smoking jacket on the outside.

COLE
Now, Moneymaker had a match how long ago? Did he really need the jacket?

COACH
Spoke like a man with a distinct lack of class.

As Moneymaker finally removes his entrance garb and walks up the steps, Brock has just whipped PRL into a corner and catches him bouncing out with a shoulder block. Brock then turns and makes a move towards Moneymaker, but the quick thinking Billion Dollar Heir backtracks around the ring, giving Brock the "money fingers" as he stalks after him. It doesn't take Brock long to get the message, especially when Moneymaker catches PRL coming off the mat, pinning his arms behind his back to give Ausstin a free shot. Which he takes.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Haha! Brilliant Teddy, brilliant.

COLE
Didn't take Theodore Moneymaker long to make friends in his first Lethal Rumble.

COACH
That's the power of money in full display right there.

Moneymaker spins PRL around once Brock's had his shots, dropping The PR Menace with a hard uppercut. Turning to the crowd, Teddy then makes the "money fingers" taunt again with a braying laugh. Looking dazed, Tha Puerto Rican sits up but gets an elbow to the back of the head from Brock. Ausstin drops to a knee and locks on a front chancre, wearing PRL out yet further. As he does this though, Moneymaker walks around gloating... and suddenly RAKES BROCK'S FACE!!

COACH
Oh no Teddy, why!?

MONEYMAKER
THAT'S RIGHT! YOU STUPID PEONS BETTER REALISE, I'M THE MAN, I'M THE ONLY WINNE...

Suddenly trailing off, Moneymaker realises Brock is stalking behind him and slowly turns around. His attempts to reason with Brock and remind him of the 'money' fail this time.


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

Realising his hope of reasoning with Brock is lost, he chops him.


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

Again!


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

And a third time. Brock just stands there and flexes his pecs, clearly not affected. So Teddy does the only thing he can... drops to his knees and begs for his life!

COLE
Oh yeah! Let's see where your money gets you now!

By Moneymaker's curled locks Brock picks him up to his feet, punching the begging billionaire right in the face! Another punch lands. And a third, Brock then whipping Moneymaker into a corner. Brock follows after him with a big clothesline, sending spit flying into the seventh row on impact!! Teddy falls forward, held up by Brock, who pushes him back against the turnbuckles for some more shoulder charges, buried into the gut of Theodore and leaving him gasping for breath. Another irish whip sends Moneymaker corner to corner, Brock following in... and eating a raised knee from the resourceful Moneymaker!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

As soon as the relieved Teddy brushes past Brock and exits the corner though, he walks right into a Puerto Rican clothesline!

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

COLE
Man, big knockdown by PRL. And look at this, going straight after Ausstin!

With a grip around the tree trunk like thigh of Brock Ausstin, PR starts to try and muscle him of the mat and towards a possible elimination. He gets Brock to his feet and starts to tip him against the ropes, having trouble actually lifting him up at this point however. Meanwhile, the Lethal Rumble clock ticks it's way down again...


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"

PRL continues to try and muscle up Brock in this time. Getting to his feet, Moneymaker nurses his jaw and a bruised ego, but all the same realises the big threat and lends PRL a hand!

"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"

Once he realises they're getting nowhere fast though, Moneymaker turns around and pops PRL with a right hand...


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

...and the smile returns to his face, as Jay Z's "Success" hits.

COACH
And this is great news for Theodore Moneymaker. CPA, in at #4!

The Director Of Security for The Enterprise slowly makes his way to the ring, picking up a little speed once he sees Moneymaker laying the leather in on Brock Aussin. He hits the ring just as Brock starts fighting back with body shots, blindsighting Brock with a double axehandle to the back.

COLE
Well, as we said Theodore didn't look too pleased with his and CPA's draw earlier on. But although on paper #3 and #4 isn't great, with numbers so close together it could turn out to be a real stroke of luck, because it allows them to work together on the rest of the field.

COACH
Brilliant strategy, as always, from The Enterprise.

COLE
How is it 'brilliant strategy'!? They picked the number out of a tumbler at random!

CPA and Moneymaker work over Brock, before Moneymaker peels away to catch PRL. A boot to the gut cuts him off and allows Moneymaker to turn around and throw him over the top... but Tha Puerto Rican grabs the top rope on the way towards them! With PRL hanging across the top, Moneymaker tries a couple of times to force him the rest of the way over, but to no avail as PRL kicks his feet back to safety. Teddy doesn't dwell on the disappointment for long though, pressing PR's throat against the middle rope and choking away. Behind him meanwhile, CPA starts to try and force Brock up and out. Moneymaker eventually spots this and comes over to help out his employee.

COLE
They've got Brock teetering here.

Desperately hanging on, Brock is eventually saved by PRL who walks up and DOUBLE NOGGIN' KNOCKERS Moneymaker and CPA!

COACH
Now why did he do that!?

COLE
Well if Brock goes now, that leaves PRL alone with The Enterprise which wouldn't be a great situation to be in. In any walk of life.

With his pick of three, PRL goes after the fresh man CPA with some kicks. Backing him into a corner PRL changes up to punches until he gets shoved away by the ex-boxer. Tha Puerto Rican rolls right through though, before catching CPA coming out of the corner with a standing dropkick. Moneymaker has Brock pounding away on him in the corner now as well. And he staggers out of the corner, walking into an Overhead Belly To Belly sending him flying across the ring! Both Enterprise members are down... at which point, Brock turns his attentions back to PRL, spinning him around and lifting him up for thr F-STUNNER-5!

COACH
YES! YES, DO IT! DO IT YOU BAH GAWD HOSS YOU!

Tha Puerto Rican squirms around like a madman though, until he manages to slide off the shoulder and down the back! Brock turns around with a big swing of the arm. PRL ducks though, sweeping Brock's legs and putting the spine on the pine in the middle of the ring!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

COLE
We're not wasting any time tonight Coach! It looks like it may be time!

COACH
This is ridiculous, does he really have to do this in the middle of the Lethal Rumble of all places?

PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Ausstin's face. He then does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Brock, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. S l o w i n g down, PRL then taunts Brock with his own interpretation of the 'Happy Happy Hoss Dance' before he drops the IntenseZone Elbow to a big pop from the crowd!

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Here comes the Puerto Rican pain!

Up jumps Tha Puerto Rican. But he doesn't have too much time to celebrate, as Theodore Moneymaker and CPA suddenly dive out from the proverbial weeds and pounce on PRL now that his theatrics are over with.


COLE
We're winding down again! Two men have won from #5 in the past, will this man be able to make it three?


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]


*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!*

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

COLE
OH MY GOD!

Atlanta truly becomes HOTlanta as there's a positive [i]eruption[/i] for BOHEMOTH!

COLE
One of the odds-on favourites, a man on a real hot streak!

The Meterosexual Monster jogs to the ring, prompting Moneymaker to pull CPA off of PRL and get him ready to meet the fellow bigman.

COLE
The roof has blown off of this place! And the ring may get blown apart any second!

Sliding in, Bo gets to his feet just in time to meet CPA, stunning him with a right hand. Bo quickly drops Moneymaker with a big right. A shot to the back of PRL. A right hand for Brock, sending him staggering into a corner. In rushes CPA with his hands clenched for a double axehandle, but he runs into a boot to the gut. Bo then unloads on the Directory Of Security with right after right until Allen is out on his feet, a quick shove in the chest creating space for Bohemoth to take a step back and knock CPA down with a clothesline!!

COACH
Woah!

COLE
Down goes CPA, Bohemoth is rolling!

As Bo fires up, Brock comes charging at him but suffers the same fate as CPA, clotheslined to the canvas. Unlike CPA though, Brock is immediately hauled back up and pitched by the head, over the top... and to the apron only, Brock able to save himself on the way over!

COLE
A close call for Brock, he's a big, powerful guy but he's also got the agility and athleticism to catch himself like that and avoid an elimination.

Bohemoth seems unaware of Brock's save, as he picks a new target. Picking himself up, around staggers PRL, unaware of what's waiting behind him as he gets goozled by The Meterosexual Monster!! Suddenly the crowd don't know what to do, a good proportion going from roaring Bohemoth on to screaming at him not to do it... as he gorilla presses Tha Puerto Rican high over his head!

COLE
Bohemoth's got PRL!

COACH
YES! THROW HIM!

COLE
This is about the bounty, this is about AngleMania VII!

COACH
Throw him out Bo, what loyalty do you have to him!? None! None at all!

Whether Bo was planning to throw PRL just down or down and out we'll never know however, as over sneaks Theodore Moneymaker to kick Bohemoth right in the back of the knee! Bohemoth crumbles and PRL comes down hard next to him, as Moneymaker stomps away at whatever he can get his feet to.

COACH
Ah, Tha Puerto Rican dodged a real bullet right there. He was gone and he knew it!

Moneymaker leaves Bo and PRL in order to take care of his security, or more specifically his Director Of Security as he helps him back to his feet. No orders needed, the raging Allen marching over and putting a beatdown on Bohemoth while Moneymaker quickly jabs Brock in the throat with his palm before going back over to Tha Puerto Rican.


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]


*KA-CHING~!*

*Come and take your Vitamin X.*

"Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing and the first Corporation entrant of the 2008 Lethal Rumble, Vitamin X, runs out to boos.

COACH
Alright! Here comes the man who's going to eliminate PRL, and that's a money back guarantee, HAHA!

X slides in and quickly avoids contact with Brock Ausstin. Instead he rushes over to Theodore Moneymaker, who doesn't take too much convincing to hand over control of PRL to instead help out CPA in his attack on Bohemoth.

COLE
Well, judging by my stopwatch Vitamin X has already fared better than he did last year.

COACH
Oh don't bring that up!

Prince Vitamin stomps away on his former mentor, unsurprisingly badmouthing PRL in the process. As Moneymaker and CPA disappear off with Bohemoth in tow, with clear intention to throw him out across the ring, X then pulls PRL up. With an MMA style clinch X holds PRL in place while he drives a trio of hard knees into his midsection. X then releases the clinch and insultingly SLAPS Tha Puerto Rican in the back of the head... which could prove a mistake, as it fuels PRL into spearing Vitamin X down and mounting him with some lefts and rights!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

As X cowers and tries to cover up under the attack, Bohemoth is suddenly hoisted up across the top turnbuckle to screams from the Atlanta fans!

COLE
Look out, Bohemoth is on the verge right now... as PRL continues to wail away on Vitamin X!

Wrapping his arms around the top ring rope, Bohemoth refuses to go over despite the combined efforts of CPA and Theodore Moneymaker. Re-entering the mix now is Brock Ausstin, grabbing a hold of PRL as he simply chokes the life out of Vitamin X. Brock gutwrenches PRL and picks him up onto his shoulder, rotating 180, before drilling him into the canvas with a brutal Powerbomb!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

As a spluttering Vitamin X looks up to the heavens and thanks the big man upstairs for saving him, the bigman downstairs known as Brock Ausstin gives him something to be less thankful about, grabbing hold of X's legs and deadlifting him off his back... into a Powerbomb of his very own!!

COLE
Good lord what power!

COACH
No kidding. With Bohemoth coming in, I think everybody forgot about Brock... big mistake!

Bohemoth picks this point to save himself, reaching out and punching CPA in the head with a free hand. Moneymaker keeps the pressure on as Bo comes back to safe ground though, leaving Brock to take over on CPA, while the Lethal Rumble countdown winds on in the background...


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"

COLE
This is entrant number seven...


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 hits, a loud screech of female approval accompanying out "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant of D*LUX! Jade Rodez leads her man out, leaving him with some last words of advice halfway to the ring before he sprints into the fray.

COLE
Another Lethal Rumble debutant, one third of the Six Man Tag Team Champions, Tyler Bryant!

COACH
And he's in there with the big boys right now, literally and figuratively.

Tyler pops to his feet and heads straight after Theodore Moneymaker, no surprise there. Understanding the issue, Bohemoth steps aside and lets Tyler UNLOAD on a shocked Moneymaker with furious right hands in the corner! 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

With the fans going wild for that, Bohemoth looks around for another fight and decides to interject himself into CPA and Brock's slugfest. As punches go back and forth, a makeshift team forms between Brock and Bo against Allen. In the other corner, Tyler sends Moneymaker scurrying for cover, following him across the ring and ramming his head into the top turnbuckle opposite.

COLE
He's paying for his sins right now. Maybe after the crap he pulled on Thursday night it wasn't too wise for Theodore Moneymaker to step into a match with 29 other members of the OAOAST roster.

COACH
You're dead wrong Michael. It's 28. CPA is still in there.

COLE
Of course, how silly of me.

Picking themselves up, PRL and Vitamin X unsurprisingly go back after each other with a little less venom than before after their respective powerbombs. PRL is landing all the punches though and has Vitamin X regretting some of his recent actions no doubt. After a succession of lefts, X gets desperate and grabs onto the waistband of PRL's tights and drags him through the ropes and to the floor! Some of the dumber fans shout out for a second thinking PR is gone, but are soon laughed down while 'Prince Vitamin' follows after PRL despite the protests of the referees around the ring.

COLE
PRL went [i]through[/i] the ropes and not over the top, he's not eliminated. And neither is Vitamin X.

COACH
Yeah, let's get our priorities straight for the people!

Back in the ring, a thumb to the eye frees Theodore Moneymaker from Tyler Bryant's attentions. He quickly gets away and backs into a neutral corner, watching on as Brock suddenly wheels Bohemoth around and lifts him up onto the shoulders. Caught by surprise, Bohemoth gets spun into the F-STUNNER-5~!!1!!!1 dead centre in the middle of the ring!!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Brock lets out a cry of dominance, Tyler Bryant finding himself next in his crosshairs. As Brock charges him however, Tyler manages to sidestep, Brock's attempted shoulder charge taking him shoulder first into the middle turnbuckle! Moneymaker decides the coast is clear and he and CPA quickly drag Bohemoth off the canvas, moving him over to the ropes and attempting to throw him out!


"TEN!"


"NINE!"

COLE
We're winding down again and Bohemoth is in trouble!

"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"

As Bohemoth clings on for dear life, Tyler rushes at Brock and cracks him in the back of the head with the Shining Enziguri!

"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"

Brock is clearly dazed but doesn't really go 'down'. Neither too is Bohemoth just yet, but now only one leg hangs in the ring and he is perilously close to being dumped.

"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]



"Getting Away With Murder" hits and a HUGE cheer goes up for last year's winner, ZACK MALIBU, sprinting at full speed towards the ring!!

COLE
You better believe business has picked up!!

Sliding headlong into the ring, Zack shrugs off Brock...




*SMACK!*


"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

...and KOs Tyler Bryant with SCHOOL'S OUT!!!

COLE
That's one!

Zack quickly runs across the ring and pulls in Theodore Moneymaker, unloading on him with a blitz of right hands to the delight of the Atlanta crowd! This also allows Bohemoth to right himself back into the ring, turning around and slugging CPA in the face. Moneymaker is reeling all over the place, as Brock Ausstin suddenly sprints across the ring, catching Bohemoth as he turns around... NO, Bohemoth ducks his head and backdrops Brock over the top and to the floor!!

COLE
There goes our first elimination! Brock Ausstin got caught with his hand in the cookie jar!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BROCK AUSSTIN
Entered: 2nd
Left: 1st
Time of participation: 12:36
Eliminated: None
Eliminated by: Bohemoth
Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Theodore Moneymaker, CPA, Bohemoth, Tyler Bryant, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turning his attentions, Bohemoth picks up the lifeless Tyler Bryant from beneath his feet. Across the ring Theodore Moneymaker has suddenly got Zack in trouble as he locks him in the BANK VAULT! But Zack uses momentum to his advantage, rushing towards the turnbuckles and ducking his head to send Moneymaker face-first into the top turnbuckle pad!

COLE
This is chaos now, we've got action all over the ring, action OUTSIDE the ring...

By the hair and the seat of his pants, Bohemoth walks Tyler around the ring, picking his side before hurling him high up and over the top!!

COACH
Bodies are flying!

As soon as Tyler hits the ringside pads, he's joined on the other side of the ring by Theodore Moneymaker, clotheslined up and OUT by Zack to a roar of approval!

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
And there goes another!! There may not be a more popular elimination all night than that one, Theodore Moneymaker, gone!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TYLER BRYANT
ENTERED: 7th
LEFT: 2nd
TIME IN RING: 2:49
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THEODORE MONEYMAKER
ENTERED: 2nd
LEFT: 3rd
TIME IN RING: 10:51
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu
Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, CPA, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With PRL and Vitamin X brawling into the CROWD now with a referee in tow, we are left with just three actually in the confines of the ring. Bohemoth stands back as he sees Zack Malibu loading up the boot. Stomps ring out through the rest of the arena as Zack measures CPA, busy talking to Theodore Moneymaker from inside the ring.

COACH
Oh no, turn around, turn around!

Giving the same exact message, Moneymaker finally gets CPA to do just that...





*SMACK!!*


...and ends up with CPA dumped on top of him, courtesy of some SCHOOL'S OUT action!!

COLE
Unbelievable! CPA is gone, which leaves us with...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CPA
ENTERED: 4th
LEFT: 4th
TIME IN RING: 9:19
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu
Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hands on hips, Bohemoth waits for Zack to quit playing around with the fans and turn around. The moment he does a roar goes up, as Zack realises the ring is clear but for his old buddy Bohemoth. With PRL and Vitamin X still off in the distance doing battle, the showdown everybody wanted to see is about to happen as Bo and Zack square up to each other.

"BO!"
"BO!"
"BO!"

"ZACK!"
"ZACK!"

"BO!"
"ZACK!"
"BO!"
"ZACK!"

Those fans that aren't busy avoiding getting in PRL and Vitamin X's way are split roughly 50/50 between the two popular superstars. Finally, Zack is the first to strike...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...cracking Bohemoth with a knifedge chop. A right hand from Bo soon convinces Zack not to try that again though, going low and shooting for the legs. Bohemoth is marched back into a corner but as soon as Zack goes to lift him, Bo reaches down and strikes Malibu with a hard shot to the ribs. Away retreats Zack, giving himself a moment to catch his breath before leaping up and catching Bohemoth coming towards him with a jumping forearm smash.

COLE
Man, I almost don't know what to say here!

COACH
That's a good thing.

COLE
Well I'll say this, we're under ten seconds before someone else joins this battle!

Zack continues to throw the forearms from underneath, until a knee catches him back in the ribs again. Scooping Zack up, Bohemoth attempts a slam, possibly even an elimination, but Zack escapes down the back and executes a Russian Legsweep!


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]


[i]"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAHHHHHAAAHHHHAAAHAAAHHHHHAAHH..."


"OOOHHHOOOHOOOHHHHOOOOOHHHHOOOOHHHH..."[/i]


[b]*VVWWWWWOOOOSSHHHHHH!*[/b]

Two giant WIND MACHINES are suddenly wheeled out in front of the stage and slammed on, drowning out "The Earth Song", almost knocking poor Theodore Moneymaker off his feet as he skulks off backstage and pushing against the entering Biff Atlas!!

COLE
You have got to be kidding me.

Picking themselves off the mat, Zack and Bohemoth are both distracted by the sound of the wind turbines and don't instantly go back after each other. Zack instead watches on in bemusement as the OAOAST's Environmental Activist Biff Atlas slides into the ring, immediately zeroing in on Zack and attacking him with right hands!

COLE
Uh... anyway... Biff Atlas, in his first Lethal Rumble. And I don't think we've ever seen an entrance quite like that before in the Lethal Rumble.

COACH
No doubt, that was some hot shit right there.

Zack soon fights off the former member of NRG, ducking a wild clothesline attempt and popping him with a German Suplex! Looking down at Biff, Zack then just throws his hands aside and goes back after Bohemoth. The bigman catches him coming though and scoops him up into his arms, at first seemingly for an Erotic Awakening, but then for an elimination as he turns towards the ropes! Zack grabs hold of the top rope and clings on for all he's worth while Bo digs in trying to get some traction to muscle Zack out.

COLE
The reigning champion is in trouble!

COACH
They're both in trouble in this position. Look at Biff!

Spotting his ultimate chance, Biff Atlas shakes his head around to check he's not seeing things after that German, before rushing across the ring and grabbing onto Bohemoth's leg...






...and not moving him any more than a couple of inches.

COLE
Oh dear.

Bohemoth rolls his eyes, dropping Zack who rolls out of the way while Biff continues to try and deadlift Bohemoth. Reaching down, Bohemoth pulls Biff off of him and upright... leans back and SLAMS the flat of his boot into his face, all with the same, nonchalant facial expression!

COACH
OH! UNCOOL!

COLE
Three words. Ho. Ly. Crap.

As Biff looks up at the lights, Bohemoth looks over to Zack and mouths the words "do you mind?". Zack just shrugs and tells him to go ahead. So he does, peeling Biff off the mat and flipping him out to the floor.

COLE
Biff just got dumped like yesterday's garbage. Recycled, one would assume.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BIFF ATLAS
ENTERED: 9th
LEFT: 5th
TIME IN RING: 1:14
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth
Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With that distraction behind us, it's back to Zack and Bo. A little more cagey now the two inch towards each other trying to time their next move a little more wisely. After a few fakes Zack shoots low for a leg again. Bohemoth manages to grab the head, but Zack torques on the knee to take the 6'7, 284 pounder down to the canvas.

As this is going on, the camera cuts into the audience where all the noise is coming from, the fans cheering on PRL as he grabs a cup of beer from a fan and smashes it into the face of Prince Vitamin! Drenched, X picks his way through the fans trying to get away, with PRL hot on his tail.


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"

COLE
And with the entry of number ten, we'll be a third of the way through this year's Lethal Rumble!

"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]



[b]"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"[/b]

[i]...WAAAAAHHHHH...

*DUM DUM*[/i]

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Here comes my pick!

As "Megalomaniac" blares through the arena, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix strolls out with a typical confident smile on his face. The leader of the new Cucaracha Internacional poses his way down the aisle, as in the ring Zack and Bo continue to battle for control.

COLE
Last year's runner-up, the two-time winner of the SWF's Clusterfuck... and he's in no hurry to get into that ring with Zack Malibu and Bohemoth for company.

COACH
And why should he be? Look what happened to Biff.

Landon reaches ringside and stares on as Zack applies a leglock on the mat. Having heard the buzzer, Zack is on his guard and looks out for the next entrant, locking eyes with Landon as he stalls for time on the outside. Zack dares him to come and join the party... and the distraction allows Bohemoth to kick him in the chest with his free leg! Away rolls Malibu, while Bo hobbles up, cheered on from the outside by Maddix who tells him he's doing "a great job".

COLE
[i]When[/i] Landon finally gets into the ring, we're going to have three of the odds-on favourites in there, not to mention another one brawling somewhere in the crowd and officially still in this match.

COACH
And let's not forget PRL either!

COLE
I was referring to PRL.

COACH
Then what about Vitamin X?

COLE
I wouldn't call him an 'odds-on favourite'. Although if he spends much more time running around this arena with his tail between his legs, I might just have to change my opinion!

Backed up in the corner, Zack is subjected to some shoulder charges from the bigman Bohemoth. This allows Landon Maddix to slide unnoticed into the ring, standing and waiting for Bo to turn around before encouraging him to whip Zack towards him. But when Bohemoth instead starts to walk towards him with fists balled, Landon promptly bails out of the ring and asks for some more preparation time.

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

Bohemoth goes back after Zack, pulling him out of the corner and setting him for a running powerslam. As he charges across the ring though Bo loses his grip on The Franchise, who escapes out the back door and grabs a waistlock, looking for a German on the big guy! Bohemoth breaks the fingers apart and turns behind Zack, throwing him into the ropes. Underneath a clothesline goes Zack though, springing up off the middle rope and twisting into a crossbody to take Bohemoth down!

COLE
Great move by Zack.

COACH
But it's not going to eliminate someone. If anything, it's going to risk you tumbling ass overhead and looking like an idiot when you hit the floor.

As Zack starts to pull himself up, Landon picks his spot as he dives into the ring and boots Zack in the back of the head! The kicks keep on coming, until Bohemoth starts to pick himself up. Landon spots him too late and eats a big right hand, knocking him for a loop and sending him scurrying for the safety of the bottom rope. That allows Bo to go back to work on Zack, as the countdown winds down once more...


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]


[b]"HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!"[/b]

Proclaiming victory before he's barely through the curtain, Synth Esizer leads The Heavenly Rockers' charge in the Lethal Rumble.

COACH
The hits just keep on coming!

In slides Synth, his confidence taking a huge dent the moment Bohemoth's fist pops him in the mouth I'm sure! Synth pops right back up to take the fight to Bo though, even if he doesn't fare so well.

COLE
And this is Synth's first Lethal Rumble, believe it or not. He was supposed to enter back in 2006 of course but got jumped on his way to the ring by Reject and was unable to take any further part. He's in this year though, to the delight of... well, few.

COACH
You're an ass, you know that?

As Bohemoth works away on Synth, Maddix emerges from the corner and picks up where Bo had left off on Zack. Picking Zack up, Landon snapmares him right back down to the canvas and kicks him HARD in the base of the spine! Around writhes Zack... even more so when a second kick lands. Bohemoth has Synth in trouble in the corner by now. Spotting this, Maddix jumps onto the middle rope behind Bo and gouges away at the eyes while Synth pulls himself back inside.


*THUD!*

COLE
Well, there's Vitamin X.

Having been hurled over the barricade, X lands with the above thud on the arena floor with PRL climbing over the barrier after him. Still referee Mike Chioda is desperately trying to convince them both to get back into the ring, PRL threatening to take a backhand swipe at him to send him scurrying for cover.

COLE
Vitamin X is carrying the can for the Corporation right now. He put the bounty on the head of Tha Puerto Rican, I wonder if this beating is going to be worth the $1,000,000?

COACH
It will be, so long as PRL is eliminated. That's all that matters.

COLE
That's a little short-sighted from Popick's point of view though, surely? He should be worried about whoever it is that wins the Rumble, no matter who that may be.

COACH
And he will. Once PRL is gone.

As PRL stalks X on the floor, in the ring Landon has Bohemoth tied up, allowing Synth to take some free shots. Landon follows them up with a straight kick to the chest which echoes around the arena. Smugly Maddix poses with arms outstretched, Synth also playing to the crowd... both taking their eye off the ball and paying for it, as Zack charges from behind and grabs them both by the hair, pitching them over the top... AND TO THE APRON, both Landon and Synth able to save themselves by the skins of their teeth!! Certainly a close call though. Zack quickly stomps Maddix in an attempt to knock him to the floor on the second attempt, but Landon is judged safely back by the referees on the floor. As Synth climbs back in, Bohemoth clubs him with a right hand. And in the background to all this, Vitamin X is finally thrown back into the ring by PRL, only to catch PR sliding in with a cheapshot to the back of the head!


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits, bringing out one half of the World Tag Team Champions, Baron Windels!

COLE
Here comes a hot slice of Texan right here!

COACH
I... yeah.

In slides Baron, attempting to make a beeline for Synth but getting sidetracked by Vitamin X dodging past him. The man he was dodging from, PRL, attempts to do the same. But Baron lays him out with a right hand as soon as he gets near him. PRL sits up dazed and Baron moves on to the next target, allowing Prince Vitamin to pounce on PR and choke at him with his bare hands.

COLE
Baron was in action earlier on and along with Jock Mulligan, retained possession of the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. Will pulling double duty tonight have an effect on him though?

Baron comes to the accidental rescue of Landon Maddix, as he clubs Zack in the back with a forearm. A right hand then clubs Landon anyway, before Baron tries to get underneath Zack and tip him out of the Rumble. Shaking out the cobwebs, Landon decides to try and tip Baron in response, which puts both the Gunslinger and The Franchise in a precarious position over the ropes! Across the ring, Synth rears back with a right hand across the bridge of the nose that has Bohemoth staggering backwards. But as he charges at Bohemoth, the bigman launches Synth skywards and lets him to fall to the mat with a Flapjack!

COLE
Synth was in the lights right there!

Faced with the sight of Zack and Baron teetering at the hands of Landon, Bohemoth looks unsure of what to do. So he settles instead for Vitamin X, grabbing him by the collar and causing him to freak out.

COACH
Oh no!

COLE
There's a lot of history here! Vitamin X was responsible for putting Bohemoth out of commission back at School's Out in Hell In A Cell!

COACH
A few months ago you were blaming PR! Stop changing your mind... X was just following orders, he... he didn't know better... please put him down!

Bohemoth obliges, putting X down, down into the mat with a Front SPINEBUSTER~! The X-Man's head bounces off the mat and he rolls around, while Bohemoth now picks up PRL.

COLE
I don't think Bohemoth's waiting to hear sides of the story. He's condemning them both to guilt.

As Bohemoth pulls Tha Puerto Rican up though, PRL gets a sudden second wind. Jumping out of Bohemoth's grasp, he spins around, catching the head and hitting the Lightning Strike on the bigman! A mixed reaction goes up as PRL weakly sits up and looks pleased with himself.

COLE
PRL has been in... well, I say 'in', he's spent a while brawling around the arena too... but he's been alive in this Lethal Rumble for over twenty minutes now. And he's going to need to call on all of his reserves to make it to the end.

Over in the corner, Baron and Zack have staved off elimination for the moment and Landon is sent to the canvas off a Cowboy Bebop elbow from the big Texan. Synth rushes over and blindsights Baron a second later. But his attack on his arch rival is cut off by Zack Malibu, pulling Synth away and attempting to dump him out of the Rumble! Synth gets his foot hooked around the bottom rope and hangs on, as we count down again...


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

Once again the crowd are on their feet, as "Rock The Casbah" strikes up and out jogs Leon Rodez!

COLE
A great reaction for Leon Rodez, in at number thirteen! Will this be the year Leon finally makes the next step and challenges for the World Title?

Into the ring comes Leon, met on entry by PRL. Immediately they launch at each other with a high tempo exchange of right hands in the centre of the ring that has the fans going crazy! Landon walks over to get involved but a right hand fells him, before Leon suddenly moves forward on PRL and looks for an irish whip. A reversal from Tha Puerto Rican sends Rodez in instead, but a drop of the head is mis-timed, allowing Rodez to put on the brakes and take PRL overhead with an Exploder Suplex!

COLE
That's going to do PRL no favours.

Leon climbs back up, knocking Landon down with another right hand and shrugging as if to say 'keep walking into me and I'm gonna keep punching you, genius'. Leon then spots Zack still trying to eliminate Synth Esizer and rushes over to help his sometimes tag partner out.

COLE
The ring beginning to fill up a little again now. And a lot of big names, potential AngleMania main-eventers for sure, in there.

COACH
No doubt. You've got two former World Champions, two guys like Bohemoth and PRL who've been challenging for a while now, a guy like Leon who's got the potential to step up... and Prince Vitamin!

Still Synth is hanging on, as Baron grabs a hold of Landon and reels him in by the arm. A boot to the gut doubles him up, setting him up for an irish whip... sending him into Vitamin X, who having just pulled himself up in the corner gets sandwiched against the turnbuckles. Synth finally escapes the attentions of The (former?) Usual Suspects behind Baron and weaves away, catching Baron moving in on Maddix and Vitamin X and chopblocking his right knee out from underneath him! With Synth down to attack the knee of Baron, Landon goes backwards, cracking Vitamin X with an elbow to the jaw and dropping him in the turnbuckles.

COACH
Woah woah, look at this! Zack and Leon!

Attention turns to the good friends who have gotten into the every man for himself spirit of the Lethal Rumble and are suddenly grappling against the ropes, trying to get an elimination on one another.

COLE
There are no friends in the Lethal Rumble.

COACH
Yeah, especially not when one of them got beat a couple of weeks ago by the other!

COLE
Keep reaching Coach.

Landon stomps away on Bohemoth as he tries to get to his feet, wisely realising it'd be smart to keep the biggest man in the match down. Next to him Synth is working over the knee of Baron Windels still, La Cucaracha happy to leave him to it as he now chokes Bo against the bottom rope.


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"

COLE
We will have nine men in the ring, the most we've had so far, in under ten.

"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]


[b]"HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!"[/b]

Flying out of the traps comes the second member of The Heavenly Rockers, Logan Mann! Trailing behind him is Holly-Wood, with no intentions of turning back.

COLE
Here comes some help for Synth, although he's looking pretty good right now.

Maybe it's for that reason that Logan first goes after Zack and Leon. He slides in and works over the midsection of Malibu with his patented jabs, before taking Leon over into a corner and throwing him face-first into the top turnbuckle. 

COACH
Man, Logan looks fired up tonight. He's taking everything that moves, kinda like a night on the Heavenly Rocker tour bus!

COLE
Or so you've heard.

COACH
Hey, Da Coach is the only guy under 60 with a bus pass, if you know what I'm saying!

[i]Now[/i] Logan searches out his partner, Synth Esizer with a hold of the leg of Baron Windels. Logan dives from across the ring with an elbow drop to the inside of the knee, before exchanging a double high-five with his tag team partner. After some quick consultation, The Heavenly Rockers pick up the hobbling Baron and shoot him into the ropes with a double irish whip. But Logan and Synth duck their heads and pay for it, in a big way, with a Double DDT from the Tag Team Champion!! Holly-Wood, who has refused to leave and is staying at ringside, holds her head in shock.

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

COLE
A little bit of Percussion treatment for The Heavenly Rockers! And Holly looks on in despair... I thought managers were barred from ringside this year?

COACH
She's not a manager, she's a devoting wife. Big difference.

Stepping over the bodies, Bohemoth drags Vitamin X up in the corner and lands a big right hand. Only the ropes hold X up, prompting Bohemoth to grab a leg and go for the elimination. PRL has a hold of Landon meanwhile, also aiming to put him out of the match. The action is all in the middle of the ring meanwhile, as Baron is suddenly spun around...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...and chopped in the chest, to his surprise, by Leon Rodez! Leon attempts to charge Baron into the ropes after that. Moving the muscular Texan proves a tougher prospect than he thought though, earning him a Cowboy Bebop elbow to the back of the neck.

COLE
Oooh. Right to the neck and Leon simply crumbled after that shot, he's had neck problems in the past let's not forget. Infact they kept him out of last year's Lethal Rumble, if I remember correctly.

COACH
Do you have to process EVERY thought out loud?

In moves Logan to move Baron the rest of the way back. He'll get no help from Synth at the moment though, as Zack takes him by the wrist and sends him to the ropes with an irish whip. Synth hangs on however and encourages Zack towards him. In rushes Zack, to a dip of the head from Synth... VERY telegraphed, Zack booting Synth in the shoulder blade, sending up and over the to... NO, Synth does go over the top, but comes back out the other side and landing safely in the ring!

COLE
Wow, Synth got really lucky right there!

Zack quickly gets out of the way as Vitamin X is sent corner to corner by Bohemoth. The Meterosexual Monster then makes a charge towards him... but X dodges out of the way, causing Bo to crash sternum first into the turnbuckles! Down he goes, as X backs away looking mighty relieved. Relief that turns to dread, as he walks into a waistlock and a quick German Suplex from Zack!

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The fans pop for the prospect of more Germans. As Zack drags X back up in the waistlock though, Synth catches him in a Sleeper! Little does X know this though, still panicking about a second German Suplex. Reaching back for the head, VX sits out, hitting a Jawbreaker on Zack... which in turn drags Synth into the same fate!!

COACH
Look at that, Vitamin X is taking them on two at a time! What a man!

COLE
...here comes another entrant.


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"

COLE
Number fifteen, the halfway point here in the Lethal Rumble!

"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Renegade" by Jay Z and Eminem hits and out runs Reject, to a chorus of boos.

COLE
It's the former International Champion, Reject!

Picking up pace, Reject slides headlong into the ring and quickly catches Zack with the EULOGY~!!!

COACH
BOOM! That's how you make an impact in the Lethal Rumble!

Popping right back to his feet, Reject measures Synth... and hits him with the EULOGY~!!!! as well! Vitamin X doesn't escape either, spun around and dropped with the EULOGY~!!!! Reject still isn't done though. With PRL still trying to oust Landon and Baron and Logan jockeying for position in the corner, Reject focuses instead on Bohemoth. Still winded from hitting the turnbuckles earlier, Bohemoth staggers into the middle of the ring. Reject quickly sets, the crowd warning Bohemoth to watch out. A warning he doesn't heed, as Reject leaps up and snatches him into the EULOGY~!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Reject stands tall in the middle of the ring and poses amongst the boos.

COLE
Bohemoth has been in there 20 minutes plus now. And Reject, the fresh man, has come in and changed the face of this Lethal Rumble!

COACH
No doubt, there's a lot of tired bodies out there and Reject is picking them off one by one!

Next on the hitlist is Leon Rodez, pulling himself up. Reject crouches down and waits for Leon to walk his way, The Silky Smooth One still favouring his neck as Reject leaps and hits another EULO... NO!! Leon manages to shove Reject off into the ropes! Back rebounds Reject, ducking underneath a clothesline attempt and swinging a Spinning Heel Kick towards the back of his head. Sensing danger, Leon drops down, Reject whiffing on the kick and caught off balance for a moment. He recovers, throwing a roundhouse kick. But Rodez ducks again and catches Reject from behind for a back suplex, spinning it around into the Blue Thunder Bomb!!

COLE
It's Da Boom~!

Both Reject and Leon stay down now, leaving just four of ten on their feet. Make that three as Logan chokes Baron down in the corner. Landon has fought off PRL now and is trying to hoist him by the tights up and over the top, to wails from PR's people.

COLE
Halfway through and we've got a lot of the big guns in the mix at the moment. Plenty more still to come too. Todd Cortez, 2006 winner Alfdogg! And let's not forget the man who won the Corporate Lethal Rumble this past Thursday, The Mad Cappa!

COACH
Oh that doesn't mean anything.

COLE
That's not what you were saying Thursday night.

COACH
Yes, but that was before The Mad Cappa won it, at which point it immediately became meaningless.

The EULOGYed stars start picking themselves up, with Zack putting the boots to Vitamin X while Synth staggers over to a safer position, helping out Logan in beating down Baron. Holly-Wood is around at the corner screaming encouragement to The Heavenly Rockers. Back up too is Leon, taking Reject into a corner and stomping away. Over comes Landon though, dropkicking Leon in the back, forcing him into Reject in the turnbuckles and dropping them both.


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"

COACH
I bet somewhere, Popick's screaming at someone to go after PRL.

"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"

COACH
I know I am!

"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Thriller" hits again, for the second half of the Tag Champions, Jock Mulligan! Jock rushes to the aid of his tag team partner, as Melody Nerdly marches with a purpose to ringside.

COACH
Now what is she doing!? There's no managers at ringside!

COLE
She's the Manager Of The Year, maybe that gives her special privileges?

COACH
Bunk! Utter bunk!

Jock wails away on both Logan and Synth to the delight of the fans, dropping them both with right hands. A scoop and a slam plants Logan Mann. And a scoop and a slam too for Synth. Picking himself out of the corner, Baron thanks his partner quickly, before The 'Slingers take The Rockers and pair off. Baron brawls with Synth, while Jock and Synth slug it out.

COLE
This battle has been raging for months, The Lone Star Gunslingers and The Heavenly Rockers and it's showing no signs of cooling down any time soon!

Stalking around, trying to pick his spot, Landon decides against getting involved between the two warring teams and goes after Bohemoth again instead. Bo is choked against the bottom rope by Maddix, pinning his foot in the back of the head. As Bohemoth fights for breath, Reject comes over and joins in with a foot of his own, making an uneasy truce to work on the biggest man and biggest threat in the pack.

Another uneasy truce forms next to them, Zack and PRL stomping dual mudholes into the chest of a begging Vitamin X. That is until PRL suddenly turns around and jams a thumb in Zack's eye, sending him staggering away blindly.

COLE
Approaching a half an hour for PRL and he's still fighting, not backing down from anyone.

COACH
Yeah but he's tired. You can see it in his body language, he's beginning to feel the strain.

Meanwhile, The Gunslingers combine on The Heavenly Rockers, finding enough space in the crowded ring to set up stereo irish whips. Both Logan and Synth reverse the momentum however and duck their heads for backdrops. Jock and Baron respond with boots to the shoulder blades and go for stereo clotheslines. Both Logan and Synth duck the lines though and Jock and Baron go charging into the ropes. Realising their position they quickly stop at the ropes, turning around into boots, doubling them over as The Heavenly Rockers throw up the TWIRLING FINGERS OF DEATH~!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Synth and Logan snatch hold of Baron and Jock by the head, Holly-Wood already cheering. Logan quickly spikes Baron down with the PERCUSSION DDT... but Synth wastes too much time and gets backdropped by Jock, ALL THE WAY OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!!!

"YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

COACH
AH!

COLE
And Synthamania will not run wild in the main-event of AngleMania!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SYNTH ESIZER
ENTERED: 11th
LEFT: 6th
TIME IN RING: 11:33
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Jock Mulligan
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Baron Windels, Leon Rodez, Logan Mann, Reject, Jock Mulligan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan pounces on Jock immediately, while Synth flies into a rage on the outside! Referees go scattering as Synth suddenly makes a dive to get back into the ring, managing to get a few shots to the kidneys on Jock as he's backed into the ropes by Logan, before the referees manage to pull him back.

COACH
Man, Synth has lost it!

COLE
It's fair to say he's got a pretty short fuse at the best of times.

As Melody makes the point that Synth should take a walk, that gets Holly all riled up as well, causing the girls to go face to face!

COACH
See, this is why managers are supposed to be in the backsta...

Suddenly, the still raging Synth spots Holly and Melody being held apart by the referee and runs over, GRABBING MELODY BY THE HAIR AND YELLING RIGHT INTO HER FACE!!!!

COLE
HEY! HEY, COME ON NOW!


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"

The referees try and pleads with Synth let Melody go, still holding him by the hair. Neither Jock or Baron are in any position to see what's going on or do anything about it... as Synth places her in a front facelock, threatening to DDT her on the floor!

"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"

COLE
Don't do this Synth, come on!


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Like The Angels" fires up and MARV of The Christ Air Express bursts through the curtain. Already getting a head of steam up on his way to the ring, MARV suddenly breaks into a full sprint as he sees his sister in danger, Synth backing up down the aisle towards the exposed concrete in the aisle... and THANKFULLY getting clattered to the ground by MARV before he can follow through with his threats!

COLE
Thank god for MARV!

MARV goes crazy on Synth, clubbing away at him as things continue to spill out of control on the outside. Beaten against the guardrail, Synth reaches out and headbutts MARV in the gut to buy himself time to get away. MARV rushes right after him though, chasing The Synthmestier around the ring!

COACH
Leave him alone, he's not even in the match!

COLE
What!?

With MARV still hot on his heels, Synth takes a detour and slides back into the ring. He immediately slides out the other side and back to the floor, while MARV scrambles to his feet...



...and gets backdropped out by Logan Mann!!

COACH
See! I told him he should have left Synth alone!

COLE
Agh! That stinks.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MARV
ENTERED: 17th
LEFT: 7th
TIME 'IN RING': 0:19
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Logan Mann
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Logan gloats over the elimination of MARV however, The Lone Star Gunslingers link arms behind him and run into Logan from behind, a double clothesline sending him up, over and OUT!!

"YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Now that's not fair!

COLE
That's karma! Logan got exactly what he deserved right there.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOGAN MANN
ENTERED: 14th
LEFT: 8th
TIME 'IN RING': 6:26
ELIMINATED: MARV
ELIMINATED BY: Baron Windels, Jock Mulligan
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Baron Windels, Leon Rodez, Reject, Jock Mulligan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Extra officials have piled out from the back to keep The Heavenly Rockers apart from MARV and Melody, which is easier said than done. Logan is furious and The Gunslingers are distracted by the chaos on the floor, as both Logan and Synth are dragged away by the large number of official bodies. Seeing this out of the corner of his eye is Landon Maddix, tapping Reject on the shoulder as he boots away at Bohemoth. And as Jock and Baron try to make sure Melody is okay, which she insists she is, Reject and Landon rush up behind them and pitch them both to the floor!!

COLE
The opportunists, Maddix and Reject, they really picked their spot there. And we are down to seven in the ring now. As, thankfully, The Heavenly Rockers are being hauled out of here.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JOCK MULLIGAN
ENTERED: 16th
LEFT: 9th
TIME 'IN RING': 2:51
ELIMINATED: Synth Esizer, Logan Mann (co)
ELIMINATED BY: Landon Maddix
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BARON WINDELS
ENTERED: 12th
LEFT: 10th
TIME 'IN RING': 10:52
ELIMINATED: Logan Mann (co)
ELIMINATED BY: Reject
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Leon Rodez, Reject
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reject and Landon look proud of themselves and Reject gets a pat on the back for his efforts. The makeshift duo then go right back after Bohemoth... who, back on his feet, meets and greets them with a big-time double clothesline that wipes them both out! Reaching down, Bohemoth picks up Maddix and tosses him aside, sending him flying over the top rope... and ALMOST out, Landon's feet hovering over the ground for a second or so before he uses his grip on the top and middle ropes to pull himself back from the brink!!

COLE
Wow, Maddix was that close to going. And after all of the claims and guarantees he's been making about winning the Lethal Rumble this year, he's got a lot of hype to live up to.

Into a corner retreats Landon. Bohemoth meanwhile looks for an opponent and finds Leon Rodez walking out of a corner towards him. The two seem to take a second to notice each other but find themselves in lock-up, which Bohemoth uses his power to muscle Leon backwards. Landon goes to follow after them, but gets intercepted by Zack Malibu.

COLE
And look at Landon, stalking around, looking for every cheapshot possible. He's like a blonde Repo Man in there.

COACH
It's working too, isn't it?

Defending from a low charge by Zack, Maddix pulls him up...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...and chops Zack, hard!


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

Zack responds in kind...


So La Cucaracha goes to the eyes! Landon stays on Zack with right hands, while the Lethal Rumble timer appears on screen once again.


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds hits and the boos rain in, as The Cuban Wall slowly strides to the ring.

COLE
Our second of five Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members.

COACH
Look out PRL, haha!

PRL does just that, leaving Vitamin X beaten down in the corner and catching Cuban Wall as he climbs up onto the apron! Punches rock Wall as the tries to climb in over the top. Wall manages to shrug PRL off for a second, but Tha Puerto Rican quickly pulls up on the top rope, crotching Wall before he can get fully into the ring! The bigman collapses off the ropes and into the ring, where PRL goes to work with some shaky leg kicks.

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican, the number one entrant, has The Cuban Wall down and is going to town!

Seeing his partner in trouble, Vitamin X pulls him up from the corner... and walks into a big left hand, knocking him right back down!

COLE
What a shot THAT was too!

With the crowd behind him, PRL lets Wall up and tries to muscle him into the ropes with an irish whip. Wall hangs on though, pulling PRL in by the arm and driving him down with a big Powerslam! PRL kicks his feet in pain from the 285 pound slam, as Cuban Wall pushes up to his knees and just chokes the life out of Tha Puerto Rican.

"P - R!"
"P - R!"
"P - R!"
"P - R!"

Help comes in the unusual form of Reject for PRL, as he comes off the ropes and strikes Wall in the face with a basement dropkick!

COACH
Reject just made a big mistake right there.

COLE
How so? Wall is big and he's fresh, if you can target him you damn well better.

COACH
But Wall's got three of his buddies still to enter and another one already in the ring.

COLE
Does Cuban Wall really have 'buddies'?

COACH
Well... no. But that's not the point. He should be getting rid of PRL, there's a million dollars up for grabs, kicking Wall in the face can have no possible benefits whatsoever.

Reject goes after Vitamin X and stomps him in the corner, as PRL recovers. Having liften him up onto the top rope a few seconds ago, Bohemoth gives Leon a last shove and walks off. Leon hangs on and stays in the match, not that Bo seems that concerned, focused instead on Cuban Wall. He goes to pick the bigman off the canvas... and for some reason, PRL clubs him in the back as soon as he dips his head. [i]PRL[/i] then goes after Wall... until Bohemoth spins him around and knocks him down and out with a big right to the jaw!

COLE
PRL wants at the Corporation, but the last thing he needs is to make more enemies.

As Bohemoth glares down at PRL though, a hand suddenly grabs him around the throat! Cuban Wall climbs from the mat with Bo by the goozle. And with tremendous power, he elevates him up and slams the 284 pound Meterosexual Monster down with a Chokeslam!!

COACH
The power~!

Battles continue between Reject and Vitamin X and Zack and Landon, Leon recouperating in a spare corner. Wall leaves his battle to go help Vitamin X out though, clubbing away at Reject. Landon meanwhile has Zack hurting, kicking away at him while taunting the fans. Leon pulls himself back into battle and targets Cuban Wall, while the count winds down...


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoah Monche hits and out strides Todd Cortez!

MADDIX
:O

Hearing the music, Landon freezes right in the middle of kicking Zack. Cortez kisses the gold chain and cross around his neck and hands it off before he exits the ring, right into a game of cat and mouse with Landon who tries to duck behind Bohemoth and PRL. A boot puts PRL back down though, Cortez stepping over him and circling after Landon, who finds himself trapped in the opposite corner that he started in and tries to reason with his former team-mate. With no intention of becoming a one night only partner of Landon's again though, Cortez grabs him... and gets poked in the eyes!!


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

A chop lashes into Cortez.


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

And a second.


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

Make it three, before Landon hooks on a headlock and rakes Cortez's face across the top rope! Away staggers Cortez holding his face, Landon quickly pushing up onto the middle rope and saying it's over. Cortez catches him coming off the ropes with a boot though, blocking the DDT and setting Maddix up in a standing headscissors... but PRL nails Cortez from behind!

COLE
PRL, again! What an effort he's putting in here!

Landon scurries away and breathes many a sigh of relief at escaping. PRL lays into Cortez with left hands until Zack Malibu walks over, at which point they both suddenly turn around and boot last year's winner. Together PRL and Cortez whip Zack into the ropes, setting up a double team. The double team doesn't last long, Cortez hitting Tha Puerto Rican with a European uppercut before Zack even hits the ropes. Once he does though, he shoots back with a spinning wheel kick to knock The Urban Legend down. Zack is then felled by a Dropsault from Maddix, who stands tall and finds time to give a thumbs up to the hard cam'... before Bohemoth nearly decapitates him with a MURDERLINE~!!

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!"

Bo stays down however, suffering from the punishment he's taken so far. PRL is almost up, but seeing the chance to catch a breather he sits back down in the corner, throwing up his hands comically to the fans.

COLE
Bohemoth entered at number 5, he's approaching 30 minutes as well now. It's getting to that time where the luck of the draw is going to play it's part, our next entrant will be number 20.

COACH
And whoever number 20 is will be coming in with lots of weary bodies to choose from.

With five men down on one side of the ring, the attention turns to the corner where Leon and Reject have a leg each on Cuban Wall. The bigman doesn't seem to be budging however. And Vitamin X recovers to fight Leon off, allowing Wall to escape Reject's clutches, knocking him down with a big headbutt. Wall and X then turn the tables and suddenly have Leon up, hung over the top rope and teetering on the brink!

"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"

Reject staggers back up... but rather than help out Leon, he runs across the ring and crushes Bohemoth with some ROLLING THUNDER!!

The Silky Smooth One looks around for some help and looks worried when he finds none coming. His one saving grace might be the Lethal Rumble timer, watching it count down on the big screen as he clings on for dear life...

[King Cucaracha 0]

"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays
You're the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?"

Fire burns around the entranceway as James Cone runs out, roared on by the fans.

COLE
James Cone, we saw him earlier on and now making his third Lethal Rumble appearance.

Cone does come to Leon's rescue, as he pulls out Vitamin X and drops him with a right hand. A dropkick knocks Todd Cortez back down, before Cone detours off towards PRL and kicks him in the chest. Just as Cone looks to be cooking though, he gets a little too ahead of himself and runs into Bohemoth.

COACH
Less haste, more speed and definately opposite direction!

Bohemoth gets a hold of Cone, but the fresh entrant is able to swat the arm away and fires off a couple of kicks. With the bigman not budging, Cone then tries another tactic and goes for the legs. A clubbing shot to the back from Bo fends Cone off though. Away into a corner walks Cone, followed in by Bohemoth who makes his own attempt to force an elimination. As this goes on in the one corner, Zack Malibu walks away into another corner...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...and chops Tha Puerto Rican.

COLE
We've got ten men in, ten men still to come. And we're none the wiser about who's going to AngleMania to challenge Stephen Joseph Popick.

Battles go on around the ring, as in the middle, Landon Maddix is up. Shaken, but up. Maddix soon has a smile on his face though as he sees Cortez getting up with his back to him. Sneaking up behind, Landon takes Cortez by the head and tosses him over... but NOT out! Little does Landon realise this, dusting his hands with satisfaction as he walks away. Reject is up and points out Cuban Wall, Landon nodding and moving in. But he takes a step back and catches out Reject, clubbing him with a cheapshot to the back of the head before picking him up over his shoulders.

COACH
Looking for the G2S!

Maddix carries Reject in the fireman's carry, turning around and...



...taking a boot, from Todd Cortez, shock giving way to fear as Cortez pulls him into a standing headscissors and tumbles forward, SPIKING MADDIX INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!!

COACH
OH NO!

COLE
Maddix is read the Riot Act again!

With Landon out of it, Cortez picks him right back off the canvas AND PITCHES HIM OUT OVER THE TOP TO THE DELIGHT OF THE CROWD!!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
HE'S OUT! Maddix is gone and I don't think he even knows it yet!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LANDON MADDIX
ENTERED: 10th
LEFT: 11th
TIME IN RING: 21:16
ELIMINATED: Jock Mulligan
ELIMINATED BY: Todd Cortez
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, James Cone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The referees signal that the motionless Maddix is indeed out, before setting about trying to wake him up.

COLE
And it was the Riot Act Plus, yet again, which did Maddix in. I've lost count of how many times since Cortez left Landon's side that we've seen him spike him with that Riot Act, it's got to be into double figures by now.

COACH
That move should be outlawed!

COLE
Why, because Landon still doesn't have a counter for it?

COACH
That's one of many reasons Michael Cole!

Cortez smirks at Landon before turning around, to be met by Reject and a boot. Hooking Cortez's head and leg, Reject then lifts for a Fisherman's Bust... NO! Cortez rolls through, into a small package. Realising full-well there's no pins, Cortez rolls right through on it, hanging onto the head and bringing Reject up, into a traditional Brainbuster!

COLE
Oh and he spiked him!

Climbing up, Cortez targets the biggest man in the match, Cuban Wall. It's Cortez and Rodez on Wall in one corner, Zack and PRL in another and now Vitamin X and James Cone double-teaming Bohemoth, as we are under ten seconds until another entrant...


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Where I'm From" by C-Murder hits and out walks Reggie Lamont.

COLE
Number twenty one, Reggie Lamont looking to make a name for himself on the big stage.

COACH
It's going to be trouble in paradise now.

COLE
*groan*

Reggie hits the ring and immediately heads to the corner occupied by Zack and Tha Puerto Rican. The Jamaican pulls Zack away and just throws him to the side, before grabbing PRL and lifting him up across the top turnbuckle!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Look at this! Reggie's going for the money, he's going for the bounty straight away!

The fans shout encouragement for PRL as Reggie powers forward trying to push him over the top. PRL is in trouble as Reggie unhooks the leg from underneath the top rope, tipping PRL over so that he's looking down at the arena floor below! Despairingly Tha Puerto Rican gets his hands on the ring apron to try and push himself back in, against the force of the 260 pounds Lamont.

COACH
Reggie Lamont is seconds away from becoming a millionaire right here!

COLE
I think somebody's got other ideas.

Walking back over, Zack Malibu shows how much he appreciated Reggie's handling of him by pulling him off of PRL and cracking him with an elbow. The crowd breathe a sigh of relief as PRL safely navigates his way over the top and onto the apron, then back into the ring. Zack cracks Reggie with a couple more elbows, before hitting the ropes. Reggie ducks the clothesline though, setting and connecting with a thrust kick up under the jaw of The Franchise!

COLE
Woah! Nice kick from Reggie!

As the big man now of Laguna Beach steps out though, he fails to DODGE THIS (BITCH) and eats a Gamengiri from PRL!!

"YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

COLE
That wasn't half bad either.

On the outside, a distraught Landon is 'escorted' backstage as the action continues without him. Cuban Wall is now at the mercy of three men now, as James Cone has walked over to join Cortez and Leon. Seeing the numbers are with them, Leon directs traffic and motions for them to get Wall out. Cortez and Cone each take a leg and lift, while Leon tries to get underneath the Muscle of the SJPC. Oblivious to his partner's plight, Vitamin X backs up and dropkicks Bohemoth against the bottom turnbuckle. PRL sees Wall in trouble though and decides to go help, despite the urge to rest, his help getting Wall going as the crowd roar.

COLE
Finally, we've got a group of people coming together and realising what it's going to take to eliminate Cuban Wall. Four men now, Wall is in trouble!

Wall hangs on, in an awkward position with his back to the ropes. But where as he can't get a grip on the ropes, he can see who he's fighting. Finding a good spot, Wall reaches out, throwing a soupbone right hand that catches Cortez. A big right then knocks down Cone. Leon and PRL's combined efforts can't keep Wall elevated and his feet hit the mat, quickly landing a right hand on PRL before knocking Leon clean off his feet with an uppercut.

COLE
Cuban Wall just fought off four men. And not just any four men, four of the OAOAST's finest.

COACH
That's what those big right hands can do.

COLE
And we're about to get entrant number 22.


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Magnum Opus" hits, to a loud and slightly mixed reaction as ALFDOGG heads out to the ring.

COLE
Speaking of the OAOAST's finest. Alfdogg, one of only two men to have competed in every Lethal Rumble Match. And he's going right after the other man, Zack Malibu!

Alf swings away with right hands on Zack as he hits the ring. The two battle it out until Cuban Wall walks over and grabs them BOTH by the throat for a Double Chokeslam. Alf and Zack both connect with kicks to the knees of Wall to free themselves, before taking him into the ropes with a double whip. A double elbow from the OAOAST Originals puts Wall on the backfoot but not down. So Alf says "nuts to this" and abandons Zack to go after Reggie Lamont! Surprised for a second, Malibu narrowly avoids a clothesline from Wall...


*SMACK!*


...and fells the giant with SCHOOL'S OUT!!!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

As Wall topples, Leon Rodez starts to get to his feet. Zack doesn't play any favourites and sets for School's Out to his friend too. However Reject comes over and clotheslines Zack down. Reject is in turn clotheslined down by Todd Cortez. Cortez then turns around into a jab!

A jab!


A jab!



A jab!


Rodez turns, blowing the kiss...




*SMACK!*


...AND GETTING CRACKED WITH THE PHEONIX KICK BY JAMES CONE!!!!

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
That Guy Who Used To Be Spider Poet Said Knock You Out!

Going after Cone, Cortez misses his man as Cone crawls under his grasp. The Lunar Pheonix turns around into a Crotch Droppah though. Cortez then comes off the ropes, building up a head of steam and charging back at Cone... who dives forward and clips out The Urban Legend's knee as he rushes towards him. Flipped through the air, Cortez lands with a thud, while Cone suddenly comes face to face with a face from his past, one Zack Malibu.

COLE
How about this for a face-off?

COACH
How long has it been? Four, five years?

COLE
It's been a while that's for sure.

Alf has Reggie elevated in the background, as words exchange between Zack and Cone. Then Zack hits a forearm, Cone retaliating. Forearm by Zack. Forearm by Cone. The two OAOAST vets trading blows in the middle of the ring, until the shots catch up to Malibu. Cone lands three more forearms before coming off the ropes, firing into The Franchise with a shoulder tackle. Back a few steps goes Zack, a few steps closer to the ropes which is what concerns The Lunar Pheonix. Another shoulder block knocks Zack back again, this time pinning him against the ropes. Cone then runs in again and charges Zack a third time... but Zack ducks his head, backdropping Cone... who lands on his feet on the apron!

COLE
He's still in, Cone showing he's still got some of that agility.

Spinning Malibu around, Cone lands a forearm from the apron. A second then stuns Zack and sets him up for Cone to apply a front facelock, reaching over the top rope and setting him for a suplex. Zack hooks his foot around the bottom rope though and blocks the elimination attempt! Cone lifts again, again blocked by Zack! Unhooking his foot, Zack then lifts... but Cone blocks and lifts up Zack... who gets turned completely upside down, to screams from the crowd, before he manages to kick his feet and land back in the ring!

COLE
Zack, hanging on by the skin of his teeth!

Losing the facelock Cone drops Zack, who lands in front of him but tastes another elbow. Grabbing onto the top rope, Cone then jumps up...





...but gets dropkicked in mid-air, propelling him backwards to the arena floor, hard!

COLE
And there goes The Lunar Pheonix...

As Cone hits the floor, Bohemoth suddenly sneaks up behind Zack and throws him out...




...NO! Zack barely hangs onto the top rope and skins the cat back inside!!

COLE
Zack almost followed him too.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JAMES CONE
ENTERED: 20th
LEFT: 12th
TIME IN RING: 5:47
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Reggie Lamont, Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Almost but not quite. It was too close for Zack's liking though and when he sees just who it was who tipped him, Zack charges at Bo and SPEARS him to the canvas! Bo is more stunned at being taken down than hurt and certainly stunned as Zack starts throwing right hands, but not stunned enough to hold back from throwing rights of his own!!

COLE
It is breaking down! Zack and Bo are going at it again...

COACH
And it doesn't look quite the same as earlier. There's real venom behind those punches, Cole. I think any and all 'respect' has flown out of the window, this is personal now!


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Master Blaster (Jammin')" starts up as out runs another Rumble debutant, Denzel Spencer!

COLE
No prizes for guessing who he's going to be going after, either.

Sure enough, Denzel slides in just as Vitamin X jumps Alfdogg. Denzel dodges past the brawling Bo and Zack and goes right after Reggie Lamont, popping him with a succession of right hands in the corner. Behind him meanwhile, Bohemoth has Zack over his shoulder and looks to dump him out...




...but Zack hangs onto the top rope and Bohemoth... ALSO hangs on, both men narrowly avoiding falling to the floor!

COLE
That was a close one!

Back in the corner, Reggie starts to fight back on Denzel and backs him out in the centre of the ring with right hands. Booting Denzel in the guy, Reggie then finds some space and bounces off the ropes with the Scissors Ki... NO! Denzel pulls his head out of the way and Reggie jams (LOLZ) his spine into the canvas. Holding his BUTT, Reggie climbs back up and Denzel charges him, sending him up and out of the Lethal Rumble with one big clothesline!!

COLE
Sweet revenge for Denzel Spencer, eliminating his former partner from the Rumble, just as Lamont had done to him back at New Year's Spectacular in the battle royal!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REGGIE LAMONT
ENTERED: 21st
LEFT: 13th
TIME IN RING: 4:22
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Denzel Spencer
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As this is going on, Reject runs over and wipes out Alfdogg. Reject then catches Denzel turning around, attempting an irish whip but finding himself reversed. As Reject rebounds, up goes Denzel for a Hurricanrana... and DOWN he comes, into a Sitout Powerbomb!

"OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Reject gets wiped out in his own right a second later though, as Alfdogg runs over and boots him in the face! After a few choice words to Reject, Alf then goes back after Vitamin X. Cortez works over Cuban Wall with kicks across the ring. Leon and PRL meanwhile take their time recovering, as Bohemoth and Zack continue to do battle in the middle of the pack.

COLE
It's over thirty minutes for Zack, over thirty for Bohemoth, over fourty minutes for PRL!

In one corner Cortez tries to get Wall over the top, with little success. Catching Zack with a good right meanwhile, Bohemoth cups him by the head and runs him across the ring...



...NO! Zack puts on the brakes. A spinkick to the gut doubles Bohemoth over, allowing Zack to run Bohemoth back to the other side...



...NO!! Bohemoth puts on the brakes. Scooping up Zack, Bohemoth goes for a Spinebuster, but finds himself trapped in a front guillotine choke and unable to drop The Franchise. Zack wraps the body-scissors on and tries to choke Bo out, the two bypassed by Alfdogg who targets PRL in the corner and tries to dump him out to collect himself a cool million!

COACH
Yes, if anyone's gonna collect the bounty, it's gotta be Alf! He did it before and he's going to do it again. Let's face it, the bounty Stephen Joseph put up shits all over the 100,000 Alf picked up two years ago.

COLE
And if Alf does eliminate PRL, it certainly won't be for Popick's benefit.

PRL hangs on, as Bohemoth begins to fade in the middle of the ring. Realising he's going out, Bohemoth makes a charge forward and runs Zack into the one neutral corner in the ring sending his lower back hard into the top turnbuckle. Zack refuses to relinquish the front chancre though. Bohemoth staggers away, already feeling the effects of entering at number 5, even without this chokehold. He turns and runs forward again, this time into a NON neutral corner. Vitamin X gets sandwiched in the corner and goes down, but Zack still hangs onto the choke and Bohemoth is fading fast.

"BO!"
"BO!"
"BO!"
"BO!"

Just as he starts to sink forward though, Bohemoth gets a surge of energy and with a low roar he muscles Zack back up before charging again...



...dumping Zack over the ropes!! Zack realises he's in trouble and hangs on for grim life, bringing Bohemoth over with him by the neck...






COACH
Look out!



...AND THEY [b]BOTH[/b] CRASH TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!!!!

COLE
I don't believe it... they're BOTH gone! Zack and Bohemoth are OUT!

A loud groan goes up through the Philips Arena, two of the favourites both in chances and crowd support eliminated in one split second. Hitting the floor with a thud, the two untangle themselves and pull themselves back up as referees come across to point them to the back.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
The friendly rivalry between Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, I have to say, might just have come back to bite them both in the ass here tonight at AnglePalooza. Neither of them will be going to AngleMania to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship! Unbelievable!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOHEMOTH
ENTERED: 5th
LEFT: 14th
TIME IN RING: 37:43
ELIMINATED: Brock Ausstin, Tyler Bryant, Biff Atlas, Zack Malibu
ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu

ZACK MALIBU
ENTERED: 8th
LEFT: 15th
TIME IN RING: 31:43
ELIMINATED: Theodore Moneymaker, CPA, James Cone, Bohemoth
ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Running a hand over his head, Zack curses to himself. Bohemoth hides his emotions slightly worse, slamming his hands into the ring apron in frustration. He then turns to Zack. The two lock eyes and tension boils over as Bo shoves Zack in the chest and The Franchise responds by PIEFACING The Meterosexual Monster!!!

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

And before you know it, Bo and Zack have launched at each other with wild punches and referees are piling over to try and seperate the frustrated fan favourites!!

COLE
Uh-oh. Tempers have spilt over... Bohemoth and Zack obviously unhappy at being eliminated and they're taking it out on each other.

COACH
What did I tell you Michael? Sooner or later, somebody's ego was going to get dented and this supposed 'friendly' rivalry was going to turn ugly. And sure enough, it's happened here tonight. There aren't any friends in the hunt for the World Title.

Zack and Bo brawl down the aisle with a stream of officials back out from the back again to try and pull them apart. The usually well-tempered pair have lost it in the heat of the moment though, Bo pushes through officials to get his punches in, Zack refusing to be held back even by former tag team partner turned road agent Tony Brannigan.


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

In the heat of this the countdown almost goes forgotten, until "No Chance In Hell" powers out and The Bone Thug walks out. Bone Thug makes sure to keep his distance from Zack and Bo as he passes them in the aisle.

COLE
It might take all the people we've got in the back to seperate Zack and Bo.

COACH
Good job we've got about 80 guys on the roster.

COLE
Speaking of which, here comes The Bone Thug for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation.

As Bone Thug slides in, we see Zack and Bohemoth disappear through the curtains amongst the sea of officials, still throwing wild shots at each other.

COLE
Well that has thrown us for a loop. And it's thrown this Lethal Rumble wide open. You've got Alfdogg the 2006 winner. PRL, in from number one, still fighting.

COACH
Three Corporation members... and two still to come!

COLE
Reject. In 2006, he lasted over 50 minutes, he's got Lethal Rumble credentials that's for sure.

Alfdogg is attacked from behind by Reject, as Bone Thug piles into the same corner going after PRL. Denzel and Vitamin X are hurting meanwhile. In the other corner, unlikely allies Leon Rodez and Todd Cortez are struggling to contend with Cuban Wall. In the end, Cortez gives up and instead grabs Rodez, kicking him in the gut and pulling him away into the centre of the ring. Cortez pulls Leon down into a standing headscissors and looks for the Riot Act Plus... but gets tripped! Leon then hooks up the legs and falls back, catapulting Cortez in the corner and a BIG foot to the face from The Cuban Wall.

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Backing out of the corner to the right, Reject is spun around by Leon. Reject catches a boot though, stepping over and cracking Rodez with a Spinning Heel Kick!

COLE
Reject with those educated feet.

COACH
Oh yeah? What did they get?

COLE
A couple of Advanced Degree-boks.

COACH
Boo-urns.

As Reject gets back up, Cuban Wall then goes charging past, clotheslining Todd Cortez up and out!

COLE
The boot put Cortez in trouble and it was a matter of time from there. The Urban Legend is gone.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TODD CORTEZ
ENTERED: 19th
LEFT: 16th
TIME IN RING: 10:40
ELIMINATED: Landon Maddix
ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer, The Bone Thug
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wall heads off to help Bone Thug, who is tasting some right hands from his cousin PRL in the corner. Reject attentions are on Alfdogg meanwhile, set and waiting for him to come his way. Looking a little dis-orientated, Alf walks around the ring and drifts towards Reject, who leaps into the air and hooks Alf for the EULOG...



...NO, Alf pushes Reject off. Reject manages to sort his (educated) feet out though and keeps on running, catching Denzel Spencer getting up up under the jaw with a Spinning Wheel Kick, sending him head over heels and to the floor as well!

COLE
Just like that, there goes another!

COACH
Quick thinking from Reject. His feet aren't the only educated bodypart, I guess.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DENZEL SPENCER
ENTERED: 23rd
LEFT: 17th
TIME IN RING: 3:01
ELIMINATED: Reggie Lamont
ELIMINATED BY: Reject
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, The Bone Thug
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Reject turns away from the elimination though, he walks into a waistlock from Alf, throwing the former International Champion with an Overhead Belly To Belly!

COLE
Seven men remain, six left to enter in this year's Lethal Rumble.

Cuban Wall and Bone Thug double-team PRL in the corner as Alf gets to his feet. The fans encourage him to help out their "People's Champion" and although the very thought of doing something to please the fans amuses him, Alf has no-one else on their feet to go after. So he walks over, grabs Wall and Bone Thug by the heads and executes the always popular DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! Bone Thug loses the hardest head competition and goes down, Wall just staggering away. Leaving them behind, Alfdogg then proves to be his own man as he grabs hold of PRL's legs and starts to lift him up and over the top!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

COACH
Here we go! Bye bye PR!

COLE
This could be it, is Tha Puerto Rican going to lose his ticket to AngleMania!?

COACH
Oh, I'm sure he'll make it to AngleMania. We've got to fill out the undercard somehow, right? HAHAHA!

Hanging on desperately, PRL finds himself hung over the top turnbuckle and tipping back towards elimination. The three Corporate members are certainly in no rush to help him. And Alf is pushing with all he's got. First to move from the rest of the pack though is Reject. And he goes right for Alf, pulling him off of PRL...



...and grabbing PRL for himself!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

COACH
No, it's gonna be Reject! He's gonna get the bounty, I told you so!

Alf comes right back and pulls Reject off of PRL, leading to an exchange of right hands between the former partners and apparantly still enemies. Before Tha Puerto Rican can breath any easier however, LEON RODEZ walks over and bundles him back across the turnbuckle looking for the elimination!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

COACH
Yes! Leon, he's going to be a millionaire! Come on Leon!


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"

As the clock ticks down, PRL starts to fight back and gets some shots in to the head of Rodez. Eventually a right hand frees him and he shoves Leon aside, before rushing at Vitamin X and clotheslining him out of his sneakers!

"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Fuel" by Metallica hits. It takes the crowd a while to figure out why, until John "Rock Hard" Brickston emerges through the curtains and heads to the ring.

COACH
Who's this guy?

COLE
Who's this guy!? Coach, that's John Brickston.

COACH
:huh:

COLE
Former member of The Lightning Crew.

COACH
:huh:

COLE
Does the Anklelock. Wrestles a lot like Ken Shamrock.

COACH
.....OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Of course.

Brickston hits the ring just as Cuban Wall and Bone Thug are making their move. Grabbing a hold of Bone Thug, Brickston spins him around and drops him with a right hand. Cuban Wall is just about to grab onto PRL before Brickston does the same to him, only without dropping the big guy. Wall ends up staggering away as Brickston lands a second right hand, before PRL turns around and comes face to face with his former protége.

"P - R - L!"
"P - R - L!"
"P - R - L!"
"P - R - L!"

Barely able to stand straight after over 45 minutes of competition, PRL still has the energy to tell Brickston to 'bring it'. Which could be a mistake, as Brickston boots PRL and goes for the Killswitch... NO! PRL escapes, ducking his head and going for the LATIN SLA... NO! Brickston lands a couple of elbows, before tripping PRL up and applying the ANKLELOCK!!

COLE
Anklelock by Brickston on PRL!

Vitamin X pulls himself up and goes to nail Brickston... but thinks twice and lets PRL suffer some more.

COLE
Tremendous pain on the face of Tha Puerto Rican.

COACH
But he's not going to be eliminated like this. You're not going to win a million dollars with an anklelock, you putz! Throw him out!

As PRL starts to shout out in pain, Brickston drops the Anklelock, at which point Vitamin X tackles him to the ground. They exchange shots, while Cuban Wall tries to come over and help out. But he gets intercepted, by Leon Rodez and a jab!

A jab!


A jab!



A jab!


Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels...



*SMACK!*


...and nailing Wall in the back of the head with the enziguri!

COLE
MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!

Wall falls backwards as Bone Thug tries to rush Leon. A sidestep and a drop toehold puts Bone Thug throat first across the middle rope though. Jumping to his feet, Rodez then does a weird sort of jig before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving his weight into the spine of Bone Thug!

COLE
And Call That Bitch Bojangles! Leon Rodez is cutting through the Corporation.



*SMACK!*

COACH
But he just got cut DOWN right there!

A Superkick from Alfdogg knocks Rodez down... but Alf regrets turning his back on Reject, as he gets dropped with the EULOGY~!!!!


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"

COLE
This will be entrant number 26!

"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"Makes Me Wonder" sounds out again, for the second member of D*LUX, "Showtime" Shayne Brave!

COLE
What a draw for this youngster. And what a story if he were to make it to AngleMania VII!

COACH
Yeah, I don't see it.

Reject catches the energetic Brave on his way in and clubs away, before picking him up and shooting him to the ropes. Around the world goes Shayne, but he finds his way safely out of the tilt a whirl and stuns Reject with an Enziguri!

SHAYNE
COME ON!!!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

COLE
Oh yeah, Shayne Brave is fired up!

Stepping out to the apron, Shayne quickly climbs the turnbuckles while the coast is clear. A groggy Reject staggers back up and glances up to see Shayne soaring towards him, connecting with a big Flying Clothesline that brings the crowd to their feet! Shayne pumps his fist in celebration before rushing over to Rodez, helping his 6-Man Tag Team partner back to his feet. Still shaken from the superkick, Leon kinda thanks Shayne, as he goes zipping off to stomp away on The Bone Thug.

COLE
We're getting down to the business end of things here Coach and would you look at that, Tha Puerto Rican, still there.

COACH
I know. Poor Popick must be getting a little frustrated watching this.

In the corner, Vitamin X manages to get a thumb in the eye on John Brickston. He then grabs him by the head and throws him over the top, but Brickston holds on and slides back in.

COACH
I mean seriously, why is nobody going after PRL!? Come on!

Leon and Shayne set up Bone Thug for a double team. An inverted atomic drop jars the Corporate member, held in place as Leon comes off the ropes to complete the D*LUX Opposites Attract double-team with what is usually Tyler's Yakuza Kick! A high-five is exchanged by the Love Generation team-mates, before Cuban Wall suddenly stomps towards them. The quick thinking 6-Man Champs manage to duck the clotheslines thrown at them though, waiting for Wall to turn around and hitting him with a Double Dropkick!

COLE
Down goes the bigman!

Another high-five is slapped off by Love Generation, before Shayne turns around and plays to the crowd again...




...and pays for it, as Leon grabs him AND FLIPS HIM OUT OVER THE TOP!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

COACH
The hell!?

COLE
Well, it is every man for himself.

Shayne looks up stunned from the outside, as Leon just shrugs apologetically. Disappointed but still diplomatic, Shayne reaches up and high-fives Leon from the floor


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SHAYNE BRAVE
ENTERED: 26th
LEFT: 18th
TIME IN RING: 1:24
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, The Bone Thug, John Brickston
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leon gets back in the mix and works over Wall with some forearms to the back, while Reject goes over and clubs away at Brickston and at Vitamin X across the ring. Limping to his feet, PRL hops across the ring and starts to try and pick up Alfdogg, which in his physical state doesn't seem to be happening. So he settles for a fistdrop to the back of Alf's head, before going after Bone Thug.


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

Lucky number #27 is next, "God Of Thunder" pumping through the arena as THUNDERKID jogs out!

COLE
Wow, what a draw for Thunderkid. Here's a guy who could shock the world here at AnglePalooza!

TK slides in and is met by former partner Reject! A right hand is shrugged off, Thunderkid landing three quick shots on Reject before mowing him down with a clothesline.

COACH
Thunderkid and Reject have had some battles in the Lethal Rumble in their time. And 2008 is no exception!

As Reject staggers up, Thunderkid then gorilla presses him up over his head and slams him to the canvas which maybe isn't the wisest move in a Rumble but certainly puts the hurting on Reject.

COLE
And Thunderkid is coming in fresh, with a lot of power as exhibited right there.

COACH
And not a huge amount of brains, also exhibited right there.

After knocking Leon down with a right hand, Cuban Wall walks out of the corner and goes after the fresh man. Thunderkid fends him off with right hands though before backing into the ropes. A Big Boot from Wall misses it's target, TK ducking underneath and coming off the far ropes with a Bicycle Kick, which takes Wall off his feet! Thunderkid then charges at PRL and clotheslines him, over the top...




...and to the APRON ONLY!!

COACH
OH! Oh, I thought he was gone!

COLE
PRL hooked that top rope and it's the only thing that saved him!

Thunderkid is pulled away by Alfdogg, who connects with a Blue Thunder Bomb! Saying to hell with it, Alf then steps to the outside and heads up top, bringing the crowd to their feet.

COLE
Could it be Five Star time?

NO it could not! As Alf slowly climbs the turnbuckles, Thunderkid is able to drag himself back up and charges at Alf, crotching him on the top turnbuckle!!

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!"

As Alf groans in pain, Thunderkid then backs up a step and hooks Alf with a clothesline, taking him off the top AND SENDING HIM TUMBLING TO THE FLOOR!!

COLE
Another hot favourite is out of the running! And I'm sure Popick will be secretly relieved to see Alfdogg gone!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALFDOGG
ENTERED: 22nd
LEFT: 19th
TIME IN RING: 11:06
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Thunderkid
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thunderkid steps away and bumps into John Brickston, the two turning around as they back into each other and going face to face.

COACH
My God, it's like looking into a living mirror!

Before they can go at it though, Reject rushes over and knocks them both down with a double clothesline! Grinning from ear to ear, Reject reaches down and picks up Brickston... uh, at least I think it's Brickston... throwing him into a corner and choking him with the flat of his boot. Across the ring meanwhile, Vitamin X has picked up PRL and lifts him up and over the top!

"P - R!"
"P - R!"
"P - R!"
"P - R!"

PRL suddenly falls from the top, but he falls to the apron and grabs onto the bottom rope. Vitamin X starts stomping away but Tha Puerto Rican won't budge. Grabbing the top rope, X then pushes forward with his feet in an attempt to just push him off, Bone Thug walking over and joining in! Leon Rodez attacks X from behind though, allowing PRL to get back in while Bone Thug saves X from being chucked out by Leon.


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"

COLE
Well with #29 and #30 taken care of, there's only one person this could be.

"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"

COACH
Haha... brilliant. Just brilliant.

"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

"No Chance In Hell" strikes up and boos ring out, as the Corporate Turncoat Spanish Fly runs to the ring!

COACH
What a performance from The Corporation! Four in, four yet to be eliminated and the bigman still to come at number thirty.

COLE
And PRL yet to be eliminated either.

COACH
Yeah well, let's not dwell on that, huh?

Fly dives in and rushes right at Leon, who drops Bone Thug with a right hand just before Fly barges into him and catches him by surprise, ELIMINATING HIM FROM THE RUMBLE!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

COACH
Oh, brilliant, BRILLIANT!

COLE
Two was okay, but Leon couldn't fight off three Corporation members. What a kicker for Leon. A great performance...

COACH
Yack yack yack yack. What about Spanish Fly? What STRENGTH from Spanish Fly!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LEON RODEZ
ENTERED: 13th
LEFT: 20th
TIME IN RING: 30:11
ELIMINATED: Shayne Brave
ELIMINATED BY: Spanish Fly
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Reject, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid, Spanish Fly
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quickly, Spanish Fly gets Vitamin X and Bone Thug together, the three SJPC members rushing over to help member number four Cuban Wall fend off Thunderkid. Fly, X and Bone Thug all attack from behind, CLUBBERING TK down to his knees with forearms while Wall pulls himself out of the corner and smiles.

COLE
And now, like a pack of damn dogs, they group together.

Saying "I've got this, I've got this", Vitamin X assumes control. The other three step aside as X lifts Thunderkid into a torture rack. Fly gives him a helping hand as X is pretty tired from being in there so long. But once he's got TK set, X has enough energy to spin him out and put the X-CLAMATION POINT on him!! Thunderkid rolls away hurt, while Reject turns around and suddenly sees the four Corporation members advancing towards him.

COLE
Oh boy. Reject is in a BAD spot here.

COACH
But he's not backing down.

Faced with no alternative, Reject shoots forward and tries to fight his way out of trouble with rights and lefts flying. Pretty soon the four on one numbers get the better of him though and the Corporation stomp him into the canvas. Boos ring out as Reject is allowed back up by the foursome, Fly, Bone Thug and X all standing back as Cuban Wall reaches in and grabs Reject by the throat. The former International Champion then goes up... and DOWN with the Chokeslam, to the applause of the standers-by.

COACH
Maybe he should have just backed down.

Picking Reject up off the canvas, Wall tosses him aside, sending the helpless Reject tumbling over the top and to the floor.

COLE
They're just going to pick them off one by one.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REJECT
ENTERED: 15th
LEFT: 21st
TIME IN RING: 27:10
ELIMINATED: Baron Windels, Denzel Spencer
ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid, Spanish Fly
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sure enough, Brickston is next. The four close in on Brickston who's trapped in the corner, fists clenched. Spanish Fly laughs aloud as Bone Thug dares him to come fight just like Reject tried to do...



PRL
HEY, FUCKWADS!!


Turning around in unison (which gets a cheap laugh), Wall, X, Fly and Bone Thug all look surprised as PRL stands in the centre of the ring AND FLIPS THEM ALL OFF!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Oh, I get it! PRL is finally tired of living! And who can blame him really?

All four SJPC members look at each other and need no more convincing to go after PRL. But suddenly, Brickston bundles into the back of them and the odds become a much more favourable 4 on 2 rather than 4 on 1, PRL throwing left hands with every little bit of energy he has in him as X and Bone Thug while Brickston wails away on Wall and Fly!! Just as PRL starts to slow down, Thunderkid then comes over and starts throwing fists too, making it 4 on 3!!

COLE
The battlelines have been drawn!


"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"

COACH
Oh no... not now!

"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"

COLE
Here comes someone who's gonna even the odds!

"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]


[b]*1, 2, 3! Hit it!* [/b]

The opening trumpet blare sounds out and "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" by DJ Kool starts playing, as The Mad Cappa sprints to the ring!

[Ed Wood Caulfield 0]

Cappa immediately begins slugging it out with The Bone Thug! 

COLE
4-on-4! The Corporation taking on OAOAST Superstars including Tha Puerto Rican! 

COACH
They’re in control! The Corporation is in control! 

COLE
I’m not so sure about that! 

Everyone pairs off into the four corners, PR taking on Vitamin X, The Mad Cappa taking on The Bone Thug, Thunderkid taking on Spanish Fly, and John “Rock Hard” Brickston taking on Cuban Wall. 

COLE
Only one entrant remaining, and we all know who that is. 

COACH
Yes, The Corporate Giant! 

Wall rakes Brickston in the eyes, and then goes to help VX with Tha Puerto Rican. Wall uses his CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms to bring PRL to his knees. Vitamin X gets his kicks in as well! 

COACH
Brains & Brawn teaming up on Tha Puerto Rican! 

COLE
If Brains & Brawn eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, do they split the money?

COACH
Vitamin X would gladly allow his friend to have all of the million. It’s his money anyway! 

COLE
That doesn’t sound like the Vitamin X that I know. 

Wall and X decide that it’s time now to eliminate PRL. The two men pick Tha Puerto Rican off of the canvas and lift his feet off of the mat! The crowd goes nuts! 

COACH
THEY’RE GONNA DO IT! THEY’RE GONNA DO IT! 

COLE
Brains & Brawn dangerously close to eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! 

PRL is struggling to remain inside the ring, holding onto the ropes! But X and Wall keep trying to dump him…that is until The Mad Cappa rushes over and punches both men! Right jab for X! Right jab for Wall! Back and forth Cappa goes, taking on Brains & Brawn as both of Tha Puerto Rican’s feet return to the mat! 

COLE
The Mad Cappa saving Tha Puerto Rican there, perhaps returning the favor for PRL helping him win the Corporate Lethal Rumble last Thursday! 

COACH
Or because he wants the money.

COLE
That’s…actually a good point. 

Tha Puerto Rican nails Cuban Wall with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! Punch! Punch! Spit! Punch! PRL battles Cuban Wall, while Cappa handles Vitamin X. The Bone Thug drives in shoulders into Thunderkid in a turnbuckle corner, while Brickston just punches Spanish Fly in another corner. 

COLE
If no Corporate member is eliminated, then Mr. Boricua will give the SJPC the advantage when he enters the ring in just a few seconds! 

COACH
And then, at last, PRL is doomed!

Cuban Wall tries his best to dump Tha Puerto Rican as the timer appears on screen. 

"TEN!"


"NINE!"


"EIGHT!"


"SEVEN!"


"SIX!"


"FIVE!"


"FOUR!"


"THREE!"


"TWO!"


"ONE!"


[i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i]

“No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts up one more time, and the #30 entrant, Mr. Boricua slowly walks to the ring. 

COLE
And there he is, #30! The biggest member of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, Mr. Boricua! 

COACH
If anyone can eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, Mr. Boricua can! 

Mr. Boricua enters the ring by climbing over the top ring rope and immediately pummels Tha Puerto Rican! 

COLE
And now, those 9 men you see in the ring are all that’s left in the Lethal Rumble. One of those 9 men is going to face the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion at AngleMania VII on March 30th. For the past three years, the Lethal Rumble winner has gone on to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at AngleMania, and you better believe that one of those 9 men wants to extend it to a fourth year at AngleMania VII from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum on Sunday March 30th! 

COACH
And there’s still the matter of the bounty! Nobody has eliminated PRL yet! 

Mr. Boricua takes PRL down to a corner. He chokes PRL with his right foot. PRL gasps for air with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. Mr. B lets go. Suddenly, Spanish Fly zooms across the ring with a Broncobuster on Tha Puerto Rican! Fly gets off of PRL and does a SHIMMY~! to boos!

COLE
Spanish Fly mocking Colombian Heat, who failed in his quest to win the Undisputed World Heavyweight Title earlier tonight! 

COACH
And his buddy PRL is going to fail in his quest to win the Lethal Rumble Match! Just you wait!

With PRL slumped in a turnbuckle corner, Mr. Boricua turns his attention to Thunderkid. Boricua punches Thunderkid, who fires back with rights of his own! However, The Corporate Giant headbutts TK five times, knocking him loopy.

COLE
Try as he might, Thunderkid can’t compete with Mr. Boricua! 

COACH
Size DOES matter in the Rumble! 

After getting TK groggy, Mr. Boricua grabs him by his head and starts running with him towards the ropes, throwing Thunderkid over the top rope and onto the floor HARD!

COLE
And that’s it! Thunderkid is out of the Rumble! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THUNDERKID
ENTERED: 27th
LEFT: 22nd
TIME IN RING: 08:14
ELIMINATED: Alfdogg
ELIMINATED BY: Mr. Boricua
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Spanish Fly, The Mad Cappa, Mr. Boricua 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Thunderkid is ordered to return to the back, Mr. Boricua picks PRL up. 

COLE
Eight men left standing! And FIVE of them are Corporation members! 

COACH
The odds of a SJPC member winning the Lethal Rumble get greater and greater! 

COLE
And how about this? Each man left in this match is or at one time was a member of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! 

COACH
The three rejects in this match never deserved the title of SJPC member. 

COLE
Not even the guy who created the damn group? 

COACH
…Popick made it better. 

Cuban Wall goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! The Mad Cappa joins in, and PRL and The Mad Cappa take turns punching Cuban Wall to the crowd’s delight! 

COLE
Here’s an image that we never thought we would ever see in LAST year’s Lethal Rumble Match! PRL and The Mad Cappa TEAMING UP against CUBAN WALL! 

COACH
Oh come on! X, go help your partner! 

PRL and Cappa take turns punching Wall--and then The Mad Cappa strikes Tha Puerto Rican! 

COACH
So much for that gratitude for last Thursday! 

COLE
Hey, it’s the Lethal Rumble! Every man for himself! 

COACH
That’s your excuse everytime one of your ‘heroes’ does something like this! 

PRL is stunned…but not stunned enough to not strike back, which he does! Cappa fires back! PRL fires back! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! A slugfest erupts between the two longtime rivals, and the crowd approves! 

COLE
SOOOO much history between those two! It’s not strange to see them slugging it out! 

COACH
But rather strange to see them team up! 

The slugfest continues until The Mad Cappa gets a few more shots in a row! The punches take PRL to the ropes, where Cappa proceeds to whip Puerto into the opposite ropes--PRL reverses--


VITAMIN X BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROPS THE MAD CAPPA OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FLOOR!!!

COACH
YES! 

COLE
Vitamin X with some payback for last Thursday! And The Mad Cappa is GONE! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE MAD CAPPA
ENTERED: 29th
LEFT: 23rd
TIME IN RING: 05:47
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Vitamin X 
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vitamin X taunts Cappa, who spews some venom of his own. X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle in the ring. 

VITAMIN X
BOO-YAH~! 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

X goes back to telling Cappa to “scram”, laughing the entire time. The Mad Cappa gets up and yells at X, referees holding him back. 

COLE
So the #29 entrant is eliminated, which leaves us with 7 left, with only two of those men not affiliated with the Corporation! 

COACH
The walls are closing in for PRL! He can’t take the pressure! 

COLE
What happens if PRL and John Brickston are eliminated? Do the SJPC fight amongst themselves? 

COACH
Of course! A match against Popick is on the line at AngleMania VII! All of those men want the honor to fight their boss for the World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest show of the year! But only one can have it, so yeah, they will fight. 

COLE
You know, there are still 63 days left until AngleMania VII. Popick might not even be Champion by then. 

COACH
Hush, young fool! 

Referees have to force The Mad Cappa to leave the ringside area! Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall double team Tha Puerto Rican while Spanish Fly has his hands full with John “Rock Hard” Brickston. 

COLE
Two enemies of the SJPC left! One old, the other fairly new! 

COACH
Both in deep trouble now! 

Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall choke PRL with their bare hands, while Spanish Fly does martial arts kicks all over John Brickston’s body…that is until Brickston simply grabs the 4’11” Spanish Fly and shoves him into the turnbuckle so that he can lay into him! 

COLE
And the littlest member of the SJPC getting hammered by the 6’6” 215 pound John Brickston, who is making his OAOAST return tonight! 

COACH
Come on Fly! Fight with all your heart! Fight with all of your heart! I believe in you, little buddy! 

PRL is still getting choked…until he scratches Cuban Wall’s eyes, and then pokes Mr. Boricua in his eyes! Puerto takes a moment to catch his breath, and then grabs Mr. Boricua and starts hammering away at him! 

COLE
And PRL going to work on the biggest man in the SJPC! A man he used to call his bodyguard! 

PR’s punches take Mr. Boricua over to a turnbuckle corner. PR runs to the opposite corner, and then rushes forward with a Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! PR decides that he’s not done yet, and runs over to the opposite turnbuckle corner again, to charge forward with a second Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! PR decides that STILL isn’t enough, so he runs back to the opposite turnbuckle corner, and then comes forward with a THIRD Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! 

COLE
THREE Stinger Splashes! PRL hitting Mr. Boricua with THREE Stinger Splashes to soften up the big man! 

COACH
Come on Boricua! Remember! $1 million! Lots of green paper! You like green paper don’t you, Boricua? The ones with the dead presidents on them? Yeah, those are sweet, aren’t they Mr. Boricua? And if you eliminate PRL, you get a MILLION of them! Isn’t that great? 

COLE
You are talking to him like a baby, Coach! 

COACH
I’m talking up to him! Not talking DOWN! You know Boricua is not all there!

COLE
Oh come on! 

Seeing Mr. Boricua groggy, PRL turns his attention to Spanish Fly. Except, that since Spanish Fly is already being taken care of by John Brickston, he has a hard time doing so. Even worse when Brickston turns around and nails Tha Puerto Rican! 

COLE
Like there’s a shocker. Brickston quit The Lightning Crew in April of 2004! 

COACH
That was The Lightning Crew! THIS is the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! There’s a difference! 

COLE
What’s the difference other than those mindless flunkies following a different egomaniac? 

COACH
Uh…new T-shirts? 

Brickston turns all of his attention to Tha Puerto Rican, nailing The People’s Champion with numerous rights to the head. The crowd responds overwhelmingly with boos at this.

COLE
John “Rock Hard” Brickston’s first, and to date, ONLY title reign in the One And Only AngleSault Thread ended at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican when PRL defeated Brickston to capture, what was at the time known as, the OAOAST Italian Championship at The Great Angle Bash back in June 2005! We have not seen much of Brickston since that time, so what a career boost it would be for him if he could eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, get the $1 million bounty, and then win the Lethal Rumble and go on to fight for the World Heavyweight Title at AngleMania VII! 

COACH
Now that you mentioned it…COME ON BRICKSTON! ELIMINATE YOUR FORMER LEADER! SHOW HIM THAT THE STUDENT IS BETTER THAN THE MASTER! 

Brickston continues pummeling Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall tries to help, only to get a punch in return! Brickston goes back to punching PRL. Wall tries to punch PRL, only to get punched by Brickston again! This causes the crowd to cheer Brickston. Brickston punches PRL, then Wall, PRL, then Wall, PRL, then Wall! 

COACH
Stop! Stop! Stop it! Focus on PR! FOCUS ON PR! 

COLE
John Brickston in control of Tha Puerto Rican AND Cuban Wall, showing us why he was the OAOAST Italian Champion in the spring of 2005! 

COACH
You HATE PRL, remember!? Get him! GET HIM! 

Brickston backs himself into a corner, still punching P.R. and Cuban Wall. Unfortunately, it’s the corner Spanish Fly is currently resting in, so the SJPC’s newest member hops onto Brickston’s back with a Sleeperhold! 

COLE
Sleeperhold! Sleeperhold on John Brickston! 

COACH
He’s doing it! Fly is doing it! 

John Brickston flails his arms around, trying desperately to get the Corporate Turncoat off of his back! But Cuban Wall takes the opportunity to kick Brickston several times in the midsection! PRL shakes the cobwebs out, not noticing what is going on a few feet from him. 

COLE
And the Corporation once again using the numbers game to get their man! 

COACH
And Spanish Fly is showing us how big of a heart he‘s got! 

COLE
It’s a BLACK heart though, after what he did to Colombian Heat! 

COACH
How dare you, you RAYCIST~! 

Cuban Wall continues kicking Brickston in the stomach. Spanish Fly gets off of Brickston’s back, ending the Sleeperhold. Brickston is doubled over, so Cuban Wall positions him on the ring ropes and grabs his left foot. The Bone Thug comes in and grabs John’s right foot. Spanish Fly, Vitamin X, and Mr. Boricua join in, and together, the five Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members lift John “Rock Hard” Brickston’s feet up off of the mat, sending them up into the air…and over the top rope, onto the floor! 

COACH
They did it! 

John Brickston quickly recovers and slaps the ring apron in frustration! He points a menacing finger at the Corporation members, who all respond with evil smiles and taunts. The crowd boos loudly. 

COLE
John “Rock Hard” Brickston is gone! We are down to six! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON
ENTERED: 25th
LEFT: 24th
TIME IN RING: 15:32
ELIMINATED: None
ELIMINATED BY: Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua 
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John Brickston tries to go back into the ring, but referees and security pull him back down onto the ground! 

COLE
Things are getting a little chaotic here! John Brickston wants to go back into the ring! 

COACH
What a sore loser! 

COLE
He DID get eliminated by four of his arch-rivals and a guy he used to call his friend! 

COACH
So? It’s the Lethal Rumble! You lost, Brickston! Time to go back to obscurity!

Spanish Fly taunts the fans and does a SHIMMY~! just to be a dick. PRL is resting on the ring ropes and is watching referees and security having to carry out John “Rock Hard” Brickston, who issues threats to the SJPC as he’s being taken away. 

COLE
John “Rock Hard” Brickston will NOT be challenging for the World Heavyweight Title this year at AngleMania, but one of those six men will!

COACH
Make that FIVE men, Cole. 

COLE
He hasn’t been eliminated yet, Coach. 

COACH
He will be. Popick said that there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that PRL will win the Lethal Rumble! 

COLE
Popick ain’t Nostradamus! 

COACH
But he is our UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! 

COLE
That I’ll give you.

Vitamin X waves bye to John Brickston, who yells as he is taken to the entrance. 

JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON
YOU’RE MINE! YOU’RE DEAD! YOU’RE DEAD! GET OFF ME! YOU'RE MINE! I'LL GET YOU! I'LL GET YOU REAL SOON! GET OFF ME!

COACH
You lost, you big baby! 

COLE
You wouldn’t say that right in front of him, would you? 

COACH
Of course not! 

Referees and security guards finally take John “Rock Hard” Brickston through the curtains. PRL watches him leave. 

COLE
And so it has come to this. And wouldn’t you know it. Every member of the SJPC in the Rumble has stayed through to the end. 

COACH
It’s appropriate that a member of the SJPC get to be the one to crush PRL’s AngleMania dreams! 

COLE
Hey, Popick can give the money to someone in the family! 

COACH
Correct! Not that they need it. Popick pays them well. 

The 5 members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation all smile evilly, feeling that the end is near for Tha Puerto Rican. Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua all head to a turnbuckle corner. Tha Puerto Rican turns around and sees them all staring at him. The crowd starts cheering loudly. 

COLE
And here we go. It’s PRL vs. the Corporation. He is all by his lonesome. No Colombian Heat here to watch his back! He is a man on his own, 5-against-1! 

COACH
It is all going along perfectly! Popick is the undisputed Champ, and he will face someone from the Corporation at AngleMania VII! It’s beautiful! 

COLE
This is a situation PRL’s enemies are SO used to. The Lightning Crew-cum-Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation working together, using the numbers game to gain the advantage. They have done so tonight, in the Lethal Rumble Match, and ironically, their last target is the man who led them for over FOUR years! 

COACH
Instant karma’s gonna get you, huh, P.R.?

The crowd gets more amped up by the second. Tha Puerto Rican stands in the opposite corner staring at his former running buddies. Vitamin X, Spanish Fly, and Cuban Wall all have cocky smirks on their faces. Mr. Boricua and The Bone Thug just stare at PRL with serious expressions on their faces. VX mouths, “No chance!” Cuban Wall cracks his knuckles and chuckles. Mr. Boricua grunts, snorts and cracks his knuckles. He also yells and screams. The Bone Thug does the cutthroat hand gesture. Spanish Fly sticks out his tongue and does a CROTCH CHOP~!. Through it all, Tha Puerto Rican just stares at the SJPC, never once changing his serious facial expression. 

COLE
Either Tha Puerto Rican pulls off the upset, or a Corporation member is going to AngleMania. 

COACH
The safe bet is to bet CORPORATE! 

COLE
What could be going through the mind of Tha Puerto Rican right now? 

COACH
Probably, (in an annoying high-pitched voice): ‘I should have been a better leader for these guys!’ ‘I should have won the World Title when I had the chance!’ ‘I should have satisfied my girlfriend in bed better!’

COLE
Oh will you stop!?

The Corporation members get into a huddle as PRL stares at them. 

COLE
He is outnumbered 5-to-1. All of these men at one time allies, friends. If this was January of 2004, 2005, 2006 or 2007, you can bet those 5 guys would have Tha Puerto Rican’s back. Well, maybe not Spanish Fly. Anyway, it is January of 2008, and in January of 2008, Tha Puerto Rican is public enemy #1 for those 5 men! 

COACH
Turn out the lights, the party’s over! 

COLE
A huddle is going on. Perhaps some last minute strategy for the Corporation members. The fans are standing here in the Phillips Arena. A trip to AngleMania VII with a World Title shot is on the line. One of these six men is going to fight the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, whomever he may be, at OAOAST AngleMania VII from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California on Sunday March 30, 2008!

COACH
Let’s do this! He’s in trouble now! 

The SJPC members all high five each other. They turn their attention back to Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican is still serious. The SJPC members all have evil grins on their faces. PRL puts his right hand out…and tells them to 

THA PUERTO RICAN
JUST BRING IT! 

COLE
He’s ready! He’s ready! He wants to get it on! He wants to get it on right here, right now! 

COACH
Let him have his moment, he’s done in a few seconds anyway! 

Vitamin X and Cuban Wall pat The Bone Thug on the back. He then charges forward, and starts punching Tha Puerto Rican! 

COLE
The Bone Thug going to work on Tha Puerto Rican! And it looks like they’re doing this one at a time! 

COACH
No! They want the cousin to have the honor of eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! $1 million for eliminating your own cousin, I’d hit my grandma over the head with a steel chair for $1 million! 

COLE
That’s nice. 

The Bone Thug takes PRL to the corner he was standing in and kicks him in the midsection repeatedly! 

COACH
Come on Bone Thug! Get ’im! Come on Bone Thug! Get ’im! 

Bone Thug runs over to where the SJPC are standing, and then charges forward…Turnbuckle Yakuza Kick onto Tha Puerto Rican‘s head! 

THE BONE THUG
ARRIBA LA RAZA~! 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

COACH
He’s got him! He’s got him now! 

The Bone Thug nods his head at the other Corporation members, and then grabs PRL and takes him over to the ring ropes where he tries to dump him! 

COLE
PR is in trouble now! 

COACH
Look at The Bone Thug! Not even in the OAOAST for a full year and already in the final six in a Lethal Rumble Match! 

COLE
He has come far since he debuted back in February 2007 on OAOAST Syndicated! And he now may be moments away from eliminating his own blood relative!

COACH
Yes! 

PR hits The Bone Thug with a back elbow! He then does it again! And again! The Bone Thug lets go of PRL‘s body, and PRL is back on the mat. The Bone Thug goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PR fires off with a punch! Then another! Then another! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! 

COLE
Uh-oh. 

The Bone Thug falls to the mat following that last punch, but gets right back up. And PRL is ready, with another punch knocking The Bone Thug back down! Bone Thug is up again, so PRL punches him down again! Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Down! 

COACH
BONE THUG, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Tha Puerto Rican grabs The Bone Thug by his right hand, and then gives him an Irish Whip into the ropes. P.R. follows The Bone Thug as he heads into the opposite ropes, and then hits The Bone Thug with a clothesline that sends him over the top rope and onto the floor! 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

COACH
Oh no! 

COLE
PRL eliminates his own cousin! There goes The Bone Thug!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BONE THUG
ENTERED: 24th
LEFT: 25th
TIME IN RING: 17:57
ELIMINATED: John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co)
ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican 
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COLE
An impressive showing from The Bone Thug in his Lethal Rumble debut, but it was not to be this year! 

COACH
There are still four guys left! You can do this! You can do this! 

COLE
Four Corporate members against Tha Puerto Rican! 

The Bone Thug’s elimination causes much concern for the Corporation members. So Spanish Fly charges forward…and gets knocked down with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Vitamin X charges forward, PRL ducks the clothesline, and attacks Mr. Boricua! Once he gets him good and dazed, PRL charges forward and ducks another Vitamin X clothesline, and then follows that by bouncing off of the ropes and hitting X with a flying clothesline taking him down! 

COLE
Down goes The X-Man! 

COACH
Oh come on! Focus! Focus! Focus! 

Mr. Boricua comes back grabbing PRL and choking him on the ring ropes! 

COACH
Yes! Yes! You got him! You got him now! HA! HA! HA! 

Boricua whips PRL into a turnbuckle corner. PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! The crowd starts panicking! 

COACH
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! 

Mr. Boricua charges with a clothesline, but Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline! Mr. Boricua is confused as to why PRL wasn‘t hit with his MASSIVE clothesline, but PRL calls out Mr. Boricua’s name…and then pokes Mr. Boricua in the eyes!  

COACH
Hey! 

PRL climbs through the ropes back into the ring and grabs Mr. Boricua to start hammering away at him! One Rock-style punch to the temple after another gets Mr. Boricua good and dazed. Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Mr. Boricua is now on spaghetti legs, so Tha Puerto Rican takes a few steps back…Vitamin X tries to attack and gets knocked down with a punch! PRL takes a step back…

COACH
Look out Mr. Boricua! Look out! 

PRL “tunes up the band”…and then hits Mr. Boricua with the Sweet Chin Music! 

COLE
The Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music on Mr. Boricua! 

Mr. Boricua stumbles, but he does not fall! So Tha Puerto Rican takes a step back…”tunes up the band” again…and then hits Boricua with a second Sweet Chin Music that causes Mr. Boricua to tumble over the top rope and onto the floor! At this, Vitamin X screams, “NO!”

COLE
ANOTHER Sweet Chin Music! 

COACH
Boricua! No! No! Oh God no! 

COLE
And Mr. Boricua is out of here! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MR. BORICUA
ENTERED: 30th
LEFT: 26th
TIME IN RING: 04:37
ELIMINATED: Thunderkid, John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co)
ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican 
[b]FINAL FOUR: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly[/b]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COLE
We are now down to the Final Four! One of those four men is going to AngleMania! 

Just then, Spanish Fly charges after Tha Puerto Rican…and gets tossed out by PRL over the top rope and onto the floor! 

COLE
Make that the final three! 

COACH
Spanish Fly! Little buddy! 

COLE
Spanish Fly went FLYING on that one! 

COACH
Oh, that’s rich! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SPANISH FLY
ENTERED: 28th
LEFT: 27th
TIME IN RING: 10:27
ELIMINATED: Leon Rodez, John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co)
ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican 
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COLE
We are down to just Tha Puerto Rican against both members of Brains & Brawn!

PRL paces back and forth staring a hole through both Brains & Brawn. 

COACH
This is not looking good! This is not looking good! 

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican can pull off the upset! He can go to AngleMania if he gets rid of X and Wall! 

Brains & Brawn are very annoyed with PRL right now. 

COACH
Somebody has to eliminate Tha Puerto Rican! 

COLE
Popick is probably blowing a gasket right now backstage! His hopes of an AngleMania main event without Tha Puerto Rican are dwindling further and further away! 

COACH
This ain’t right! This ain’t Corporate! 

PRL dares both of Brains & Brawn to fight him. Vitamin X holds an angry Cuban Wall back and tells him, “I got this! I got this!” 

COLE
Is X gonna go at it alone? 

COACH
Yeah! The Prince dethrones the King! 

Vitamin X goes for a high five, but Wall just stares at him. Moving on, X spits in his hands and rubs them together. He then slowly inches closer to Tha Puerto Rican, getting into a fighting stance. PRL puts his guard up as X comes towards him. Finally, X just goes ahead and tackles PRL into a turnbuckle corner! He then starts punching him in the face! 

COLE
If X eliminates PRL, then he won’t have to part with that $1 million in his bank account! 

COACH
That’s probably more than enough to motivate X into eliminating PRL. 

VX continues pounding on PRL in the turnbuckle corner! X grabs PRL’s left hand and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner, right into a Big Boot from Cuban Wall! 

COLE
Oh, he can’t have much left! Tha Puerto Rican can’t have much left!

COACH
He was the first guy in and the second-to-last guy eliminated! Not bad for such a jabroni! 

Vitamin X says, “YEAH-UH~!” He tells Cuban Wall good job, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. 

VITAMIN X
You like that? You like that? You’re going down! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

Vitamin X SLAPS PRL across the face! 

COLE
Oh! And what a sign of disrespect from Vitamin X! 

COACH
That piece of trailer park trash deserves nothing more! 

X starts jukin’ and jivin’. 

COACH
Here it comes! I always love this part! 

VX punches PRL in the face! He then punches PRL in the face again! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then SPITS IN HIS RIGHT HAND! X then punches PRL a third time, knocking him down! 

COLE
That dreaded three punch combo from Vitamin X takes Tha Puerto Rican down! 

COACH
Yeah! And he mocked PRL while doing it! HA! HA! 

Vitamin X shouts out “BOO-YAH~!” to loud boos. X picks Tha Puerto Rican up--and is met with a left hand! And another! And another! Tha Puerto Rican DANCES~! THEN SPITS IN HIS LEFT HAND! And then punches Vitamin X a fourth time, knocking him down!

COLE
Hey! How about that? A little Shake, Rattle & Roll from Tha Puerto Rican, perhaps a ‘shout out’ to his friend, Colombian Heat!

COACH
That disgusts me! Copying his own best friend’s moves now!? What kind of a friend is he!? Dispicable! 

PRL picks Vitamin X up and whips him into the ropes--NO--Vitamin X reverses--PRL bounces off of the ring ropes, Vitamin X puts his head down, so Tha Puerto Rican rushes forward, stops in his tracks, and simply kicks Vitamin X in the face! Vitamin X stumbles around the ring, with PRL watching him. 

KICK 


WHAM 


THE CAPPA KILLA!!!!!!!

COLE
The Cappa Killa! The Cappa Killa from Tha Puerto Rican! Perhaps a ‘shout out’ to The Mad Cappa!?

COACH
NO! 

Vitamin X is still on his feet following The Cappa Killa, so Tha Puerto Rican bumrushes him and dumps Vitamin X over the top rope and onto the floor with a clothesline! 

COLE
There goes Vitamin X! 

COACH
That wasn’t an exit fit for a prince! That was not a royal exit! 

COLE
Well, Vitamin X did better than he did last year, so at least he can take comfort in that!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VITAMIN X 
ENTERED: 6th
LEFT: 28th
TIME IN RING: 47:48
ELIMINATED: The Mad Cappa, John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co)
ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican 
LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COLE
We are seeing the single greatest one-man performance in the history of the Lethal Rumble! 

COACH
Come on Wall! That $1 million could be yours! All yours! Popick won’t mind! 

The crowd is on their feet! PRL continues firing them up! P.R. then rushes over to the turnbuckle corner where Cuban Wall is standing. Wall goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires off with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! 

COLE
Down to two men! Cuban Wall! Tha Puerto Rican! Either Cuban Wall gets the $1 million bounty, or Tha Puerto Rican gets another shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest spectacle in parody e-fed entertainment! 

COACH
Come on, Wall! Your boss is counting on you to do your job! $1 million! $1 million! ONE MILLION DOLLARS! 

PRL, his face filled with RAGE, grabs Cuban Wall’s left hand and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner. PR follows with a Stinger Splash onto Wall! Puerto Rican then grabs Cuban Wall by his left hand again, and then whips him into the ropes…Cuban Wall reverses…Tha Puerto Rican bounces off of the ropes…right into a GOOZLE~! 

COACH
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! 

COLE
This could end it for Tha Puerto Rican right here! 

CW taunts PRL while clutching his throat. PRL gasps for air. Wall grabs Puerto’s long red tights and then lifts him up into the air--NO!--Tha Puerto Rican slips out of Cuban Wall’s grasp and lands on his feet right behind him. PRL turns Cuban Wall around…

KICK




WHAM




P.R. NIGHT--

PRL has trouble lifting Wall up! 

COACH
He’s not gonna do it! No way! 

COLE
PRL giving it his all to lift the Corporate Wall off of his feet! 

COACH
Come on! He can’t do it! No way! 

PRL keeps trying and trying and trying. The crowd roots him on, but the size of Wall is too much to overcome. Finally, PRL gives it one last try and is successful in lifting Wall off of his feet! 

COLE
He’s doing it! He’s doing it! He’s actually doing it! 

COACH
WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!?

The crowd goes nuts as PRL gets Cuban Wall higher and higher off of the mat! 

COLE
He…just…might…do…it! 

Once P.R. sees Cuban Wall’s feet 3 feet off of the mat, he quickly DRILLS him onto the canvas with the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

COLE
P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall! 

COACH
AAAAH! Oh no! WALL GET UP! GET UP NOW DAMNIT! 

The crowd goes wild! Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall both lie on the mat, breathing hard. 

“P.R.!”
“P.R.!”
“P.R.!”
“P.R.!”

COLE
But that P.R. Nightmare took a lot out of Tha Puerto Rican! Combine that with being in the Lethal Rumble Match for almost an hour, and it’s no surprise that PRL is down on the mat along with Wall! 

COACH
And Cuban Wall hasn’t been in the match as long as PR has! Not to mention he’s so damn big! He can recover much easier than PRL can! 

COLE
We’ll see! But I believe whoever gets up first is going to OAOAST AngleMania VII!

“P.R.!”
“P.R.!”
“P.R.!”
“P.R.!”

COLE
The ’Lightning Bolts’ rooting for their hero to get back up! 

COACH
Oh, this isn’t fair! This is not fair at all! 

Both P.R. and Cuban Wall continue lying on the mat. Both men are sweating, breathing hard, and are in pain. They both got their eyes closed. The crowd is going nuts for The People’s Champion. 

COLE
The Corporation must be on the edge of their seats watching this! 

COACH
Hell, I’M on the edge of my seat right now! COME ON WALL! 

PRL and Cuban Wall lie still on the mat, sweating, breathing hard, in pain, with their eyes closed. 

That is until Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHH!”

COACH
NO! NO! NO! NO! 

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican is up first! And Cuban Wall is still out! 

PRL bounces up and down inside the ring, getting the crowd fired up. He yells that the match is over! 

COACH
Come on Wall! 

Tha Puerto Rican looks to the crowd. 






“THAT’S IT!”

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican is going for the elimination! Can he eliminate the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall and go to AngleMania? 

COACH
No he can’t! He can’t do it! 

COLE
He just might! He has performed terrifically in this year’s Lethal Rumble! And he is one elimination away from getting another World Title shot, and quite possibly his well deserved one-on-one match with Stephen Joseph Popick! 

COACH
Oh God, I’m going to be sick if he does this!

Tha Puerto Rican plays to the crowd. He motions that he is going to throw Cuban Wall over the top rope. 

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican might be going to AngleMania VII! 

COACH
Shut up! 

PRL goes to pick Cuban Wall up. As he does so, a LOUD resounding chorus of boos fill the arena. This gets PRL’s attention. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK walks to the ring, wearing a black sweatshirt, and carrying the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand, and the OAOAST International Championship belt with his right hand. 

COACH
THE CHAMP IS HERE~! 

COLE
Oh no. What does HE want!? 

COACH
HE’S the Undisputed Champion! He wants a front row seat to find out who he’s facing at AngleMania VII! 

Tha Puerto Rican curls his lips into a sneer when he spots Popick coming to the ring. Popick runs his mouth as he walks, getting garbage thrown his way. 

COACH
How dare they disrespect Popick in his hometown!? 

COLE
He hasn’t done a damn thing to EARN their respect! 

COACH
He’s the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion for crying out loud! That’s enough to respect him in my eyes! 

COLE
Not for me. 

COACH
Yeah, but you don’t count. You never count. 

Tha Puerto Rican starts running *his* mouth, which he has no problem doing, as Popick runs his. The two comrades-turned-enemies trash talk each other. 

COLE
Stephen Joseph Popick is the man Tha Puerto Rican might face at AngleMania VII if he eliminates Cuban Wall tonight!  

COACH
Oh, how Popick would LOVE to get his hands on Tha Puerto Rican at AngleMania VII! Oh, how he would love to do that so much! 

COLE
Uh-huh. Sure.

Popick stops at ringside, 4 feet away from the ring and Tha Puerto Rican. He dares PRL to come and fight him right now. PRL dares Popick to enter the ring. 

COLE
You can feel the hatred both of these men have for each other! And you can bet that PRL would love it if Popick remains World Heavyweight Champion from now until AngleMania VII, so that he can win his first World Title from him! 

COACH
Keep dreaming, Puerto. That ain’t gonna happen! 

COLE
Popick being World Champ, or PRL winning the World Heavyweight Title? 

COACH
What do you think, you idiot!? 

Popick raises both of his title belts into the air, and smiles evilly at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL does the McMahon SNEER~! in response to this. He tells Popick to come into the ring to get a piece of Tha Puerto Rican. Popick goes to enter the ring, but backs off as soon as PR comes close to him. 

COLE
Popick is just taunting PRL! 

COACH
He has TWO belts and PR STILL has ZERO! HA! HA! HA!

STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK
You want this!? You’ll never have it! Never! NEVER! NE-VER! 

Popick points to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and shakes his first finger at P.R. He then points to the OAOAST International Championship belt and also shakes his first finger at P.R. He says, “No chance! No chance in Hell!” P.R. bends down and dares Popick to get into the ring. 

COLE
P.R. wants it now! 

COACH
He’s making a big mistake here. Popick hasn’t wrestled for an hour, you know! 

COLE
He doesn’t care! He’s not waiting until AngleMania! 

Tha Puerto Rican flips Popick off, and then tells him to “JUST BRING IT!” 

POPICK
You want me to bring it? You want me to bring it? I’ll bring it! Oh yeah, I’ll bring it! I’ll bring it all right! I’ll bring it! I’LL BRING IT! YOU WANT ME? YOU GOT ME! I’LL BRING IT! I’LL BRING IT RIGHT NOW! I’LL BRING IT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! LET’S GO! 

The crowd starts cheering loudly. 

COLE
The crowd wants it now! Tha Puerto Rican wants it now! 

PRL keeps saying, “Come on! Come on!” But Popick continues running his mouth, issuing threats to The Great One. 

“PO-PICK SUCKS!”
“PO-PICK SUCKS!”
“PO-PICK SUCKS!”
“PO-PICK SUCKS!”

COACH
HE DOES NOT SUCK!

COLE
These fans letting Stephen Joseph know exactly how they feel in his hometown! 

COACH
They’re jealous! All of them! Popick’s the best thing to come out of Atlanta! 

SJ tells some fans near him to shut their mouths. P.R. tells Popick once again to come into the ring. Popick seems hesitant to do so. 

COACH
Get him, Popick! Get him! 

The crowd is at a fever pitch. Tha Puerto Rican tells Popick one more time to “JUST BRING IT!” Stephen Joseph Popick sneers at Tha Puerto Rican. 

STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK 
All right, that’s it you piece of crap! Your ass is mine! 

Stephen Joseph Popick drops the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and the OAOAST International Championship belt onto the floor. He then rolls up his sleeves, spits in both of his hands, rubs them together, jumps up and down in place, lets out a yell, and then rushes forward--



At the same time, Cuban Wall delivers a BIG BOOT to the back of Tha Puerto Rican’s head!!!

COLE
Hey! Wait a minute! 

Stephen Joseph Popick stops in his tracks as Tha Puerto Rican staggers in the ring thanks to the big boot. He uses the top ring rope to prevent himself from falling onto the mat. However, that just gives Cuban Wall the perfect opportunity to grab PRL’s legs…




…flip Tha Puerto Rican up into the air…






…over the top ring rope…








*THUD!*

…AND ONTO THE FLOOR!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN’S WHOLE ENTIRE BODY HITS THE PROTECTIVE MATS, WITH STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK STANDING OVER HIM~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

COLE
WAIT A MINUTE! NO! NO! NO! 

*DING DING DING* (61:09)

[size="4"][b]“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”[/b][/size]

Popick immediately starts jumping up and down in celebration. Tha Puerto Rican is only face down on the ground for two seconds before he lifts his head up and looks up to the ring to see that his worst fear has come true.

COLE
CUBAN WALL WINS! CUBAN WALL WINS! CUBAN WALL WINS! 

COACH
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! OH GOD YES! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THA PUERTO RICAN
ENTERED: 1st
LEFT: 29th
TIME IN RING: 1:01:09
ELIMINATED: The Bone Thug, Mr. Boricua, Spanish Fly, Vitamin X 
ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall
LEFT IN RING: Cuban Wall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[b]TEH WINN0R~!:[/b] Cuban Wall
ENTERED: 18th
TIME IN RING: 32:17
ELIMINATED: “Urban Legend” Todd Cortez, Reject, John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co), Tha Puerto Rican 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match…CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLL!

COLE
The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation snags the Lethal Rumble Match for the first time ever! 

COACH
And it’s the CORPORATE Wall that does it for them! HA! HA! HA!

“No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. Stephen Joseph Popick unrolls his sleeves and dusts his hands, an evil smile on his face. Fans throw garbage in his direction, which causes Popick to taunt those that do.  

COLE
And you know what this means…

COACH
Yes, Cuban Wall gets the $1 million!

COLE
AND Cuban Wall will face Stephen Joseph Popick at AngleMania VII! 

COACH
Oh, that is a Dream Match to be sure! Cuban Wall gets to live out his dream in front of over 100,000 people in the L.A. Coliseum! It doesn’t get any better that that! 

Tha Puerto Rican sits up on the outside, PISSED OFF~!

COLE
Cuban Wall is going to AngleMania, and Tha Puerto Rican is LIVID!

PRL looks at Popick, who is pointing and laughing at him. This is more than enough for Tha Puerto Rican to get up and chase Stephen Joseph Popick! Popick tries to back off, but PR grabs him and starts punching him in the face to the crowd’s delight! 

COACH
Look at this! 

COLE
And PR taking it to the World Heavyweight Champion! To the man who ROBBED him of his shot at the belt at AngleMania VII! 

COACH
It was Cuban Wall who threw him over the top rope! 

COLE
But it was Popick who distracted him! Popick used PR’s own hatred against him to lure him away from Cuban Wall, and therefore LOSE the Lethal Rumble Match! 

COACH
Popick didn’t screw P.R. P.R. SCREWED P.R.! 

Popick fights back with a few punches of his own, but Tha Puerto Rican is able to quickly regain the advantage, nailing his former “Career Consultant” with rights and lefts! Popick becomes dazed because of these punches, and staggers back to the entrance with PRL following him, hitting him in the back as they run! 

COLE
PR is beating the hell out of the Champion! 

COACH
He choked…AGAIN! And he was so close this time too! 

COLE
He didn’t choke! He was SCREWED!

COACH
He didn’t get the job done. Again. That is the important thing. No wonder Lindsay, Popick, and everyone else dumped his ass!

Popick goes for a punch near the entrance, but PR blocks it, and then chases Popick through the curtains.

COACH
Go get him Popick! 

Cuban Wall is on his knees raising his hands in victory while looking up to the sky. Referee Earl Hebner raises Wall’s hands in victory to loud boos. 

COACH
This is without a doubt the greatest night in Cuban Wall’s life! A guaranteed, GUARANTEED trip to the main event of OAOAST AngleMania VII and an OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match is in the future for that man right there! And he’s also now $1 million richer thanks to eliminating his ex-boss! There ain’t no better time than now to be Cuban Wall! 

COLE
Cuban Wall has won the Lethal Rumble Match! Cuban Wall collects the $1 million bounty on Tha Puerto Rican! We will have an All-Corporate AngleMania VII main event on March 30th! 

COACH
It’s going to be the CORPORATE AngleMania! 

Cuban Wall gets up and walks around the ring raising his hands in victory as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. 

COLE
Cuban Wall has shocked the world! He has pulled off the upset! 

COACH
How is this an upset? He’s 6’7 285 pounds for crying out loud! 

COLE
Be real, Coach! He wasn’t a favourite to win! Zack, Bohemoth, Leon Rodez, Tha Puerto Rican! THEY were some of the favourites! Not a lot of people thought Cuban Wall would get this far, but he has! HE is the 2008 Lethal Rumble winner! 

COACH
Well now Cuban Wall can join some of the greats in the annals of time! His name is now listed among all of the other Lethal Rumble winners. TheSoleSurvivor, Angle-Plex, Calvin Szechstein, Axel, Alfdogg, Zack Malibu, and now CUBAN WALL! The GREATEST of them all! 

COLE
Cuban Wall is going to AngleMania! Cuban Wall is now $1 million richer! Cuban Wall is now in contention for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! 

COACH
Oh yeah! Dreams DO come true here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! 

Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air and lets out a mighty roar! The crowd boos loudly. Wall gives the crowd the “Up yours!” gesture and then does the Corporate Salute! The camera cuts to the entrance where Vitamin X is walking to the ring with a champagne bottle in his right hand and a glass in his left hand. The Bone Thug, a serious expression on his sunglasses-covered face, walks to the ring behind X, also carrying a glass in his left hand. X has a wide EVIL smile on his face, laughing manically as he applauds his partner’s victory. 

COACH
Let the celebration begin! 

COLE
The SJPC members coming out now to celebrate Cuban Wall’s victory! 

COACH
He deserves it! This is his night! This is the Corporation’s night! 

VX enters the ring and offers his buddy a handshake, which Wall accepts. The fans boo, disgusted by all of this. The Bone Thug enters the ring and nods his head at Wall. Wall nods back. The Bone Thug has a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head and another one covering his mouth. Mr. Boricua enters the ring, he too carrying a glass in his right hand, and he gives Wall a great big bear hug lifting him off of the mat! Mr. B squeezes Cuban Wall a little too tight, and Wall has to yell at Boricua to let go. 

MR. BORICUA
Sorry. 

CUBAN WALL
That’s okay, Boricua. 

Thomas Rodriguez enters the ring, also carrying a glass in his right hand, and he congratulates Wall on winning the Lethal Rumble Match. Thomas hugs Wall. Spanish Fly, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, and Princess Stacey all enter the ring, each one carrying a glass, and they all congratulate Cuban Wall too. Lindsay gives Wall a hug and a kiss, as does Princess Stacey. Spanish Fly high fives Cuban Wall and then pulls him in for a hug. 

COLE
The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is out here in full force, celebrating the victory of THAT man, Cuban Wall! 

COACH
This is his night! He has never been happier! 

COLE
He is the #1 Contender! He gets his shot at AngleMania on March 30th! 

COACH
I love it! 

Stephen Joseph Popick comes out through the curtains, dusting himself off. He has a cigar in his mouth and a glass in his right hand as he comes to the ring, applauding Cuban Wall. The crowd boos loudly. 

COLE
And Popick is back out here! 

COACH
All right! He gets to celebrate with his family!

COLE
I have been told that Tha Puerto Rican is backstage being held back by security! Seems as though security broke up the fight between PRL and Popick!

COACH
Good! Make sure that sore loser stays far away from the SJPC! Do NOT let him ruin this for them! 

Stephen Joseph continues applauding Wall as he climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring. He congratulates Wall with a handshake, and then pulls him in for a hug. Popick tells Wall, “I knew you could do it!” Wall says, “Thank you, Boss.” Popick says, “See you at AngleMania!” 

COLE
Stephen Joseph Popick, if he is a man of his word, will now pay Cuban Wall $1 million for eliminating Tha Puerto Rican!

COACH
‘If’ he is a man of his word? Oh Michael Cole, he IS a man of his word! He damn well is! 

COLE
Somehow I doubt that, but if you say so. Either way, the money stays in the Corporation, as Vitamin X’s partner in Brains & Brawn gets $1 million from X’s bank account! 

COACH
1 million smackeroos for the Muscle for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! Now THAT’S a payday! 

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match…CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLL!

COLE
…Did Vitamin X just tell Michael Buffer to announce the winner again? 

COACH
Why yes he did. 

COLE
Oh brother. Oh come on now! 

Stephen Joseph Popick raises Cuban Wall’s right hand in victory and points to him. He then poses for the fans himself. The crowd boos loudly. Popick takes a cigar out of his right pants pocket and hands it over to Cuban Wall. Popick then takes another cigar out from his right pants pocket and hands it over to Vitamin X. He repeats the process with Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, and Thomas Rodriguez. Cuban Wall lights up his cigar with a lighter handed to him by Thomas Rodriguez, and then takes a giant puff. Wall blows out smoke into the arena. Wall grins evilly. 

COLE
And now some celebratory cigars. 

COACH
Straight from Cuba! Cuban Cigars for Cuban Wall! 

COLE
That’s nice. 

COACH
It is, isn’t it? Screw those smoking bans!

The male members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation walk around the ring with cigars in their mouths and glasses in their hands. Vitamin X lights his cigar up, as does Stephen Joseph Popick. Mr. Boricua chomps down on his cigar, while Spanish Fly and Thomas Rodriguez pose with cigars in their mouths, unlit. The two female members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation just applaud Wall, Lindsay having the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt over her left shoulder. Cuban Wall laughs it up with Popick, gloating over his victory. The Bone Thug just stares at the crowd with a cigar in his mouth. 

COLE
Regardless of who wins at AngleMania VII, the World Title will stay in the Corporation. 

COACH
And that’s just what Popick wants! He predicted it! He prophesized it! He said that there was ’No Chance In Hell’ that Tha Puerto Rican would win the Lethal Rumble Match…and he was right! 

COLE
Stephen Joseph Popick baited Tha Puerto Rican! He distracted him allowing Cuban Wall to pick up the victory! 

Fireworks explode over the ring. Pyro goes off from the ring posts. Pyro explodes in the entrance. Cuban Wall smiles, then laughs maniacally. 

COLE
I bet Popick used his Corporate Connections to set this up too, didn’t he? 

COACH
Probably. It is an awesome fireworks display, though, am I right? 

Cuban Wall hugs Popick as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds has to be restarted. Spanish Fly enters the ring with both the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and the OAOAST International Championship belt. He hands both belts over to Popick. Popick thanks Fly for that, and then raises both belts in the air to tremendous boos. Popick sneers at the crowd. 

COLE
And he has cause for celebration too. He is now the UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! 

COACH
That’s right! Everything went his way tonight! This was the perfect CORPORATE night for Stephen Joseph Popick! 

COLE
We now have an Undisputed World Champion, and if all goes according to Popick’s plan, then Stephen Joseph Popick vs. Cuban Wall for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship will be the main event for OAOAST AngleMania VII on Sunday March 30, 2008 from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California! 

COACH
It is going to be the greatest main event in AngleMania history, hell, the greatest main event in One And Only AngleSault Thread history!

Garbage gets thrown into the ring. Popick puts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder, and the OAOAST International Championship belt over his right shoulder. Vitamin X grabs the champagne bottle and shakes it up. The cork pops, and then X pours champagne into everyone’s glasses. 

COACH
Time to pop the bubbly! 

Mr. Boricua grabs the bottle and drinks from it, until Cuban Wall snatches the bottle away from him…and drinks from it himself. 

COACH
It must be nice, expensive champagne. But he’s earned it! 

Garbage is still being thrown into the ring. After everyone has a glass filled with champagne, the SJPC members all gather around in a circle. 

POPICK
A toast to the CORPORATE #1 Contender, Cuban Wall! 

STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK CORPORATION
CHEERS! 

Everyone in the SJPC taps their glasses together and then drink the champagne. 

COLE
63 days from now Cuban Wall is going to be in the biggest match of his career. In just 63 more days he could be the next World Heavyweight Champion! 

COACH
And best of all, Tha Puerto Rican is no where near the Title scene!

COLE
He’ll be in the hunt, I’m sure. But he’ll just have to wait 64 more days until his next shot!

COACH
Like Wall would ever give him a shot! How about 164 more days? Or 264? Or 364? Or 464? Or 564? Or 664? Or 764? Or 864? Or 9--

COLE
Coach, we get it!

COACH
Ass. 

Stephen Joseph Popick, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall and The Bone Thug head to the four turnbuckle corners and climb onto the second turnbuckles, each one with a cigar in their mouths and a glass in their hands. Spanish Fly does The Outsiders “pointing” taunt along with Thomas Rodriguez and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Princess Stacey claps her hands. Mr. Boricua spits out the chomp bits of his cigar, and then snorts, screams, yells, and cracks his knuckles. 

COACH
This is how you do a celebration! A CORPORATE celebration! 

COLE
Oh come on now! 

COACH
This is beautiful! I am getting choked up watching this! 

COLE
Oh please! 

Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder, and the OAOAST International Championship belt over his right shoulder, takes a giant puff from his cigar and then blows it out into the crowd. He then offers a “toast” to the fans, and then downs the rest of his glass of champagne. He then sneers at the crowd. Vitamin X also takes a giant puff from his cigar and blows it out into the crowd, as does Cuban Wall. Wall, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug all finish their glasses of champagne too. 

THE BONE THUG
ARRIBA LA RAZA~! 

Popick gets off of the second turnbuckle and hugs Vitamin X. He then hugs Cuban Wall again. X pours himself, Popick, and Wall more champagne and they continue drinking as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. 

COLE
He had help. Popick lended him a helping hand! He distracted PRL! 

COACH
I don’t care how he did it! The important thing is we have got ourselves an all CORPORATE AngleMania main event! Popick vs. Wall! I can’t wait! 

Stephen Joseph and Cuban Wall head to opposite turnbuckle corners and raise their hands in victory. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick points to her husband saying, “That’s my man!” While Vitamin X points to Cuban Wall and says, “YEAH! BOO-YAH~!” The crowd boos. 

COLE
Popick, Cuban Wall, both victors tonight! And they are both now on a collision course to AngleMania VII! 

COACH
This is going to be so cool! I can’t wait! The countdown is on! 63 days and counting! Cuban Wall and Stephen Joseph Popick are on the Road To AngleMania VII! 

SJP gets off of the second turnbuckle and offers up another toast with his Corporation members. They all drink the champagne again, and then Popick high fives Wall and VX. He kisses his wife on the lips. The OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the Lethal Rumble Match, starting with Stephen Joseph Popick pretending that he was going to attack Tha Puerto Rican. 

COLE
Popick had him distracted! He acted like he was going to fight PRL, but it was all a ploy! Cuban Wall had recovered from the P.R. Nightmare and gave Tha Puerto Rican a big boot to the back of the head! P.R. stumbled, Cuban Wall grabbed P.R. by the legs and lifted him up and over the top rope and onto the floor! Tha Puerto Rican was eliminated, Cuban Wall collects the $1 million bounty on PRL and Cuban Wall is ALSO going to AngleMania VII! And Stephen Joseph Popick couldn’t be any more happier! His arch-rival is not going to be in the AngleMania VII main event! But Popick himself might be if he remains OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion from now until March 30th!

COACH
I knew he could do it! I knew he could eliminate Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall has won the Lethal Rumble Match and he is going to AngleMania!

The OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to live action as the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members all continue celebrating in the ring, gloating over their victory. They all laugh maniacally and pose for the fans. 

COLE
Stephen Joseph Popick becomes the Undisputed One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion in his hometown. Cuban Wall gets the biggest win of his career thus far and is going to be in the main event of the biggest show of the year. This was without a shadow of a doubt the biggest, most memorable night in the history of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. Cuban Wall has won the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match! Cuban Wall is going to OAOAST AngleMania VII! For Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman, I’m Michael Cole saying so long from OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia, and we’ll see you this week on OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

Stephen Joseph Popick pours champagne from the champagne bottle onto Cuban Wall’s head. Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez and Spanish Fly all dump the champagne from their glasses onto Cuban Wall’s head too. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Princess Stacey, The Bone Thug, and Mr. Boricua all applaud Cuban Wall some more. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members all laugh maniacally. Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air again as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds ends. The crowd boos loudly. 

THOMAS RODRIGUEZ
WAY TO GO! 

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK
CONGRATS WALL! 

SPANISH FLY
EXCELLENT JOB, BRO! 

PRINCESS STACEY
WOOOOO! 

THE BONE THUG
ARRIBA LA RAZA~! 

MR. BORICUA 
GRRRRRRRRRRRR. 

STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK
EXCELLENT! SIMPLY EXCELLENT! 

VITAMIN X
YEAH BABY! 

CUBAN WALL
YEAH! 

Stephen Joseph Popick, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Vitamin X, Princess Stacey, Spanish Fly, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug and Thomas Rodriguez continue their celebration even as the credits roll and people begin leaving the Phillips Arena. With “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds having just ended, the only sounds you hear in the arena are of the members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation whooping and hollering and boos from the fans that are still in their seats. But the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is still celebrating, happy over what’s gone down tonight as Stephen Joseph Popick is still the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion and Cuban Wall has won the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match, in addition to $1 million. But they are also celebrating because of one very important fact:

Tha Puerto Rican is NOT going to AngleMania.

[b]FADE OUT[/b]