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The Ill One

SWF.com Exclusive- The Significance of Scars

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At first the camera focuses closely on an empty steel chair in a dimly lit room when suddenly a body, unknown thanks to the camera’s zoom, sits into the chair. It begins to pan out to see a heavily scarred chest and it becomes clear as it continues to pan away that it’s Insane Luchador who has sat down, hanging his head over but still looking up at the camera.


“Alexander,” IL begins and lifts his head up, looking straight into the camera, “I just want you to know that I saw your cute little cheap shot towards me. Personally, I’m curious as to how you managed to find my ‘secret dumpster’ out back… it makes me think that maybe you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. Hell, I have. But none of that surprised me and I also have to admit, your arrogance ironically proves your ignorance if you find me to be a little… obsolete, incompetent, or even dated. That’s all really pretty funny to me because, well, I’m not the delusional one for once- do you realize that? Your confidence, your ego, and your god damn arrogance are the very things that’ll make you fall. I know, I know… how can a perfectly sane, incredibly smart man like you, Alexander, be displaying any sort of ignorance coming into this one?”


“You’re simply trying to discredit me to reassure yourself but I expected that,” he casually admits. “You’re faking confidence and trying to compensate for that fear of the unknown, like me. You can watch every match I have wrestled, Alexander, and it’ll take you a while but you just might notice a lil’ wild card here because I know your type, you have a knack for the technical side that I’ve always lacked.”


“Good for you,” he sarcastically says after a pause. He sits up straighter in his chair before continuing to address Alexander-


“But for a guy like you, for an analytic guy like you, if you really prepared for me then you’d notice something, a really foreign element thrown into your equation, apparently an unforeseen variable. Unpredictability. Now there is not only the unpredictability alone but then add the countless opportunities this upcoming hardcore match has and it’s not an easy thing to break down into a game plan. But I have confidence in you for that, really I do, I think you’ll have a vague enough idea of what you’ll want to do coming into that ring.”


“Now obviously those things aren’t going to happen in that ring but at least you’ll have visuals of what ‘could have been’ to cling onto,” IL says. “Actually I’d say you’ll have plenty of things that you will have to cling onto, unforgettable mementos, a souvenir, maybe even a gratuitous plastic second place trophy, who knows…”


He leans back in his chair and then hovers his hand over his bare, war torn chest, drawing attention to the numerous imperfections with a small smile.


“I’m not simply ‘touting’ these scars to intimidate you,” IL explains with a laugh. “However, every single one of these scars has a story, most of them are painful ones, and every single one is also a testimony towards me. These are simply constant reminders, Alexander, of what I’ve been through, what I’ve done, and most likely a reminder for what’s to come. Now I’m no Miss Cleo, I’m no psychic, but I’m also not –that- crazy but if I had to guess what will happen at Hell Freezes Over…” He pauses as if reflecting on it.


“Well, you’ll have your own constant reminders of what happens when you cross the Ill One, of what will happen if you take these as idle threats.”


He laughs and stands up, waving the cameraman to stand up as well. He walks into the darkness and his voices speaks out through it-


“Now you may be wondering what it’s so dark in here… do you like the tone of the room, Alexander?” IL facetiously asks. “See, it’s not just some cliché way to show angst or symbolic towards the unknown… it’s actually pretty simple.”


Silence takes over until the light switch gets flicked on, the room instantly lighting up, and it becomes clear why the Ill One breaks into psychotic laughter. Barbed wire sits on a steel chair with a bat leaning next to it, thumbtacks and a hot glue gun on the table, and freshly bundled light tubes on his couch, obviously the start of construction for Excalibur, his signature weapon.


He waves his arms across the room and raises his eyebrows. “So how do you like it, what do you think?” He glances around and apologizes, “Actually I left a lot out of the picture but, you know, I can’t show you all the goodies and plus, some hurt like hell even to hold.”


His head slightly tilts and a psychotic smile spreads across his face. “So you see, Alexander, you’re right- I did choose the perfect stipulation, I chose one that helps me and hurts you, literally. So if you want to bank on the fact that these are the only way I could win the match,” he says and motioning across the locker room in reference to the various weapons.


“Then I’m ready for that too,” IL says. “I’m ready for everything, Alexander, and I really don’t think you’re ready for anything...”


“See, this all began with me getting a title shot and you were just my opponent, the World Champion. You have the belt that has been destined to be mine and now would be my time, so you were just an opponent, a guy to beat for that coveted title. That’s bad enough. A guy I had to beat to get what has slipped away from me so many times… Then you became the antagonizing guy, pissing me off, and now I was finding the upcoming match even better. That’s even worse. But after a little bit, well, you just became the catalyst for the Ill One’s rage, Alexander. See, now I have to defeat you, not just to win the World Title or save face, I am talking about destroying you. I’m not going to rely on a roll up or a hollow victory, Alexander, I am going to squash any doubt surrounding me after we’re done, after I have beaten you decisively.”


“So I hope you bring your ‘A’ game, I really do. Because after all your talk of my incompetence and all the shit you spew out only makes your fall that much sweeter to view, just that much sweeter seeing that heap of what had once been a proud World Champion.You aren’t even going to be recognizable, Alexander, at least not to yourself. Sure, your face may be rearranged or your body horribly mangled, at least, but there are surgeons to fix it. But that’s only at the surface, isn’t it? Because after Hell Freezes Over I know that you won’t be able to look into a mirror, unable to face yourself, and it will be because your fall will be that far, after I have defeated you then you’ll be left wondering what you have done to yourself, what you have done by neglecting my potential, and just wishing, frantically wishing to live it all over again, to change the outcome. But that’s not going to happen, now is it? You have to see now that to change your perspective, to knock your ass off the pedestal, and to see you give up on yourself is almost as much incentive as the World Title itself. Almost.”

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Alright, this is getting ridiculous. We're blowing all our good promos for the year here! Or at least, I'm burning through mine...


Seriously though, another great promo. The personality interplay between Alexander and IL works much better than I expected for this promo war. I'm getting a face vs. heel vibe much like the SCSA vs. Bret Hart feud...which is very, very good.

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