HD: AS Shill Center

[Tony149 0]

[b][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]ANGLE[/color][color="#0000FF"]SLAM[/color][/size]
[color="#FFA500"]Shill Center[/color][/b]

Until we select an official theme song, fun summertime music with a western flair welcomes us inside OAOAST studios where Tony Brannigan (who’s traded in his blazer for a Hawaiian shirt) stands on the right side of a sunset backdrop many would recognize from our previous AS logo while the new logo along with time/date is seen on the left. 

BRANNIGAN
Here to shill the 2008 edition of Angleslam on HeldDOWN~!, I’m Tony Brannigan. The sun may be setting on the summer, but the OAOAST plans on sending it out with a bang Sunday night, August 31st from the Alamodome in my hometown of San Antonio, Texas. Now the event is already sold out, but you can still catch all the action exclusively on pay-per-view from the comfort on your own home. 

[b][color="#008000"]MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT FINALS[/color]
[color="#808000"]Winner to receive guaranteed OAOAST Championship match and $500,000[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
One of the matches on tap for that big event will determine who receives a [i]HALF-A-MILLION DOLLARS[/i] from tournament sponsor Theodore Moneymaker’s own pocketbook -- but more importantly a guaranteed contract to face whoever the OAOAST Champion is. It should be noted this contact can be used, or cashed in, so to speak, at [I]anytime[/I], meaning we could see the champ successfully DEFEND and LOSE the title all in the same night! A tactic the previous Money in the Bank winner Landon Maddix employed to win the OAOAST Championship from Zack Malibu last June. 

[b][color="#FF0000"]MR. DICK[/color] [color="#FFA500"]vs.[/color] [color="#0000FF"]BARON WINDELS[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
How about this one? In front of the hometown faithful, Baron Windels to get another crack at former partner Mr. Dick. This all stems from the incident that occurred one week ago at the Big Apple Spectacular that left Baron Windels not just bloody and bruised...but humiliated!

[b][color="#FF0000"]<<[/color] [color="#0000FF"]OAOAST BACKTRACKER[/color] [color="#FF0000"]<<[/color][/b]

[b][color="#FFA500"]Courtesy:[/color] Big Apple Spectacular[/b]

[quote]V.I.C.E. tag and Detective Bosley sets Baron for the NYPD-DT…but Windels blocks the suplex and serves up a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL!

ONE…

TWO…

THREE!!!

* DINGDINGDING *

The CAE jump on Baron in celebration only to be attacked by CPA who dumps them outside while Mr. Dick WHIPS the Lone Star Gunslinger with Malaysia’s CAT O‘NINE TAILS. 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

It’s only until after Mr. Dick has had fun that officials are let in to tend to Baron Windels, his back bloody from the lashings he received.[/quote]

BRANNIGAN
Although both happen to reside in the River City, there’s little doubt as to who the hometown favorite will be, something Mr. Dick knows very well. Have a listen. 

The Alamo at night serves as the backdrop for Mr. Dick and OAOAST Women’s Champion Malaysia. 

MR. DICK
Whoever said you can’t go home again was exactly right, because it won’t be a homecoming when I return to the town where I was a high school football hero a villain. I’ll still compete in front of a packed house, but the adulation of the fans will be reversed for one man, Baron Windels. 
(scoffs)
What a glutton for punishment this guy is, Malaysia. No matter how bad I beat him he keeps coming back for more, which is good for a couple of people who love to inflict pain like us. A pain that’s as much mental as it is physical because let’s face it: Baron can’t handle The Dick. He tries like a Special Olympian, but in the end he’s still a retard! 

MALAYSIA
:o

MR. DICK
Just as the Alamo was the last stand for William Travis and his men, the Alamodome will be yours Baron. It’s time for Mr. Dick to move on to bigger and better things without having to drag you along for the ride as I did all those years we teamed. Win, lose or draw, it ends for you at Angleslam. 

We cut back to Tony Brannigan in the studio. 

BRANNIGAN
I for one cannot wait to see that encounter Sunday night, August 31st. Oh, my, and let’s not forget this big one, where get this -- the only win to win is by rendering your opponent DEFENSELESS! 

[b][color="#FF0000"]NO ROPE BARBED WIRE[/color]
[color="#0000FF"]FLUORESCENT LIGHTBULB TUBES[/color]
[color="#8B0000"]HELL IN A CELL MATCH[/color]
[color="#FF0000"]James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone[/color] [color="#FFA500"]vs.[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Sly Sommers [/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
As you’ll recall, because James Cone can legally turn down a match against anyone ranked lower than him in the Top 10, Sly Sommers was unable to get a match with his nemesis so he handpicked young -- and winless -- Cooper Riley to meet Cone at the Big Apple Spectacular. If Riley was somehow able to pull off the upset then Sommers would face Cone in a match of his choosing at Angleslam. Here is how it all went down. 

[b][color="#FFA500"]Courtesy:[/color] Big Apple Spectacular[/b]

[quote]James Cone signals that he has had it! He waits for Cooper to rise to his feet...THROWS THE LUNAR KICK! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT....



...SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, COOPER RILEY KNOWS THE REVERSAL! He performs a soccer-style slide tackle under the kick, on Cone's other leg! Riley gets up and kicks Cone as hard as he can in the face, soccer ball-style! He then goes up to the top rope...FRONT FLIP DOUBLE STOMP! HE GOES FOR THE COVER!

ONNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!


COLE
WHAT?

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


COACH
NO WAY! NO WAY!


THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


*DING DING*

THE CROWD GOES NUTS!

BUFFER
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUR WINNNNNNNNERRRRR....COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPERRRRR RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY!

Cooper slides out of the ring and leaps into Sly's arms! The place is coming down!

COLE
Wha...whaa....WHAT? This under-150 pound kid from West Lafayette, Indiana has just scored a clean pinfall victory over one of the top ten ranked wrestlers in the WORLD!

[i]* CLIP *[/i]

COACH
GUYS! GUYS! Folks, I'm here with Sly Sommers and the Miracle Kid...Cooper Riley! *crowd cheers louder* Um...WHAT JUST HAPPENED??!?!?

COOPER
Um...um...I believed in myself and Sly believed in me, and this happened! OH MY GOD!

SLY
My words exactly! But kid...I knew you had it in you! Congrats! *hugs Cooper, then looks at Phoenix* So bro, wonder how someone who trained under me, a guy who doesn't know how to avoid that kick of yours, knew how to reverse it? Let's just say that palling around with the master of the superkick in this company has its perks...

Phoenix pitches a fit in the ring!

SLY
Settle down, young man. Settle down. There's no need to throw a fit because there's nothing you can do about it...I've unlocked Pandora's Box, my friend. You and I are back on even ground. You might have proved me wrong about not having what it takes to be a top guy in this sport...but you made it personal, boy!

COACH
So, since Cooper pulled out the upset of the year, you get Phoenix at Angleslam with any stipulation of your choice...

SLY
Yes; yes I do. I'm not going to wait to tell the world what I have in mind. I'm not going to leave you drooling in anticipation, Phoenix. At Angleslam...*pauses*...we're going to have a straight-up match. One on one, singles match, all that jazz...(Phoenix visibly breathes a sigh of relief)

COACH
Um, okay? Well, there you have it: Sly Sommer...

SLY
Wait, I almost forgot something. Those ropes? They're going to have to go during our match. They're gawdy and they're just going to get in the way.

COACH
The way of what?

PHOENIX
(un-mic'd) YEAH! THE WAY OF WHAT??!?!

SLY
The way of strand upon strand of flesh-ripping, blood-shedding, unforgiving BARBED WIRE! *the fans applaud*

COACH
NO ROPE BARBED WIRE AT ANGLESLAM?!?!?!

SLY
No, no, no, bro. Not just that.

PHOENIX
NOT JUST THAT?!?!?!

SLY
Nah, man. See, I don't want these fans getting hurt by what I'm going to do to you, so we're going to put up...the HELL IN THE CELL! Why? I don't want shards of glass going into the crowd!

PHOENIX
SHARDS OF GLASS?!?!?

SLY
Oh yeah, man, I kinda forgot. Hanging from the ceiling of the cell will be a trash can. What's special about a trash can, right? Well, this trash can will be filled with FLUORESCENT LIGHTBULB TUBES! We're going to put a couple of ladders at ringside too. You grab the trash can using the ladder to climb, you bring down the tubes, and they're fair game to hurt your opponent with!

PHOENIX
WHAT THE HELL?!?!?

SLY
One more thing: no submit. No surrender. No pinfalls. The only way to win is to be left defenseless. You have to be bruised, bloodied, wounded, and unconcious. If the referee deems you unable to continue, only then is the match over! I don't want you taking the (bleep) way out and tapping out to a headlock! This crap ends at Angleslam! One of us is leaving on a stretcher! Phoenix...you were treading on the proverbial devil's playground when you turned on me...but now, you're going to be in the real Devil's Playground...good luck![/quote]

BRANNIGAN
Also on the card…

[b][color="#FF0000"]INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE[/color]
[color="#0000FF"]NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH[/color]
[color="#FF0000"]Colin Maguire, Jr[/color] [color="#FFA500"]vs.[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Jereme Grey[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
Be sure to stay tuned to the OAOAST television networks for more information regarding Angleslam. It’s the hottest event of the summer and it comes to you LIVE exclusively on pay-per-view Sunday night, August 31st. With gas prices reported at record highs across this great land of ours, stay in and beat the pain at the pump -- and the heat! -- with 3 hours of nonstop entertainment the whole family will love. Don’t you dare miss Angleslam!

Edited July 31, 2008 by Tony149

[King Cucaracha 0]

Jade vs. Malaysia is getting confirmed this week, if you wanted to stick anything in. If not, doesn't matter, just saying is all.

[Tony149 0]

That was actually last week's AS Shill Center. I may or may not do another one this week, depends on how long it'll take me to get my match done. But I appreciate the heads up.