HD:Zack/Sly/Moneymaker/Bosley Shenanigans.

[Zack Malibu 0]

Here in Puerto Rico, the night is alive as we return to HeldDOWN~! Hotel guest, club goers, and diehard wrestling fans have converged towards this slice of paradise tonight not for a relaxing getaway, but for the action, drama, and sheer randomness brought to you by the OAOAST.

 

COLE

Last week on HeldDOWN~!, we went a little retro, as The In Crowd decided to dig into the vault and deliver a vintage performance as only they could. In the past, we had seen Zack Malibu, EvenflowDDT, Superstar and Alison deliver skits mocking various OAOAST talent utilizing popular movies, pop culture references...anything they could think of. Last week though, I think they took the cake by performing one of the greatest impressions in wrestling history.

 

COACH

Damn Cole, did Zack write that speech up for you? Nothing about that was funny. All it was was four guys jealous of The Enterprise looking like fools because they can't be at the top of the pecking order anymore!

 

COLE

You were laughing too, Coach.

 

COACH

Was not! It's...it's allergy season, man, I was sneezing and coughing, and...

 

COLE

...lying through your teeth. Gotcha. Anyways, word has passed through the OAOAST that Theodore Moneymaker was certainly not happy with the portrayal of The Enterprise, and has promised to speak out on that issue tonight! We expect Mr. Moneymaker to...

 

Suddenly, Cole is yanked up out of his seat by the collar, as Detective Tango Bosley stares him in the face. Alongside Bosley is Alison, and Theodore Moneymaker himself, looking none too happy.

 

MONEYMAKER

Mr. Cole, did you find last weeks incident funny?

 

COLE

I...I...uh...

 

MONEYMAKER

Put that waste back in his seat, Bosley.

 

Bosley throws Cole back into his seat, and the crowd boos as Moneymaker heads into the ring.

 

MONEYMAKER

I know that you all found it funny last week. Oh, that Zack Malibu is soooooooo hysterical, isn't he? Dressing up like an idiot, trying to mock ME, a man who has everything? He thinks he and his band of cronies succeeded in doing something other than looking foolish last week? Zack Malibu, you claim that I have it out for you, so you attack me verbally, you insult a beautiful and intelligent woman simply because she doesn't want you anymore. Well Zack, the time has come. The time that you've been waiting for. You are going to meet your maker right here, tonight...IN THIS RING! Zack Malibu, I challenger...nay, I DEMAND that you get yourself down to this ring right now!

 

Moneymaker, agitated, throws off his suit jacket and circles the ring, chastising fans who boo him.

 

MONEYMAKER

You SHUT UP. ALL OF YOU! I could own ALL of you. I could buy this damn island! I'll have you all working at Wendy's and mowing one of my many lawns, so help me!

 

Moneymaker, frustrated, hands the mic to Alison, as he goes outside the ring and encounters some fans face to face, angered by their hatred of him.

 

ALISON

You people are PATHETIC. You look up to Zack Malibu like some sort of God, and for what reason? Are your lives that meaningless? Actually, no need to answer that, because it was a rhetorical question. Try looking it up when you're not dropping date rape drugs or flashing the Girls Gone Wild crew tonight! Of course people like you would worship Zack Malibu...you're a bunch of misguided, superficial...

 

"Getting Away With Murder" interrupts the tirade of the In Crowd Original, and her face sinks into a look of scorn. Moneymaker rolls into the ring, and he and Bosley position themselves, ready for the appearance of the Modern Day Warrior. A crowd grows larger around the ring, as Zack Malibu and Sly Sommers, the latter still on crutches due to being clipped by Bosley several weeks ago, make their way out!

 

COLE

As if it wasn't hot enough here, things are heating up even more!

 

MALIBU

Moneymaker, Alison, Bosley...this is all so petty. We've been jawjacking, going back and forth, for weeks now. And maybe...maybe last week shouldn't have happened. I don't think The In-Terprise was such a good idea. Do you, Sly?

 

SOMMERS

Well...it was pretty funny, Zack.

 

MALIBU

Yeah, it was. But just think, it was time we couldn't have spent doing something constructive, like posting Alison's picture down at the free clinic as a warning to visitors...

 

Alison's face twists into a sneer, as the crowd laughs at her expense.

 

SOMMERS

...or heading to a thrift store for some of Don Johnson's old wardrobe.

 

Bosley looks around for a moment, then realizes they're mocking his style choices.

 

MALIBU

Wait, wait...we're getting off track again. Now, if I heard right, a few minutes ago, Theodore Moneymaker wanted me to come down to this ring...

 

Zack starts walking towards the ring, with Sly following behind him.

 

MALIBU

...and meet my maker?

 

Zack and Moneymaker go nose to nose, as the hard camera zooms in on the two. An eager crowd of natives and tourists start chanting "FIGHT!" repeatedly and loudly, but it doesn't drown out any of the tension.

 

MALIBU

Well, here I am. Here, we are, actually. Face to face. So what say we stop all this bickering, finger pointing, and name calling. Let's stop with the surprises and sneak attacks. There's nothing between us but air and opportunity tonight, Moneymaker. My schedule is clear, so let's make history tonight so that in the morning, when I pull out my "to-do" list, I can cross "Kick Theodore Moneymaker's ass" off of it!

 

MONEYMAKER

Aren't we the witty one. And aren't we the brave one. Oh yes, the superhero himself...the "Franchise", here to protect his good name by any means necessary. Well, Zack, that's good. Because I wasn't lying when I invited you out here for a fight...I just never said it was with ME.

 

The crowd boos loudly, and Malibu almost looks like he expected this.

 

MONEYMAKER

For such a company man, you're certainly ready to make rash decisions, aren't you? Let's see, what's that saying you have? Good for business, bad for you? Zack, think about it. Do you honestly think that a man of my business acumen would waste his time facing off with you on free TV, in front of a handful of drunken co-eds? Don't you think that you and I, despite our distaste for each other, should be able to profit off of all this?

 

MALIBU

You're worried about a profit!? You know something, I may not have the money you have, but I'm certainly well off...and even if I wasn't, no paycheck in the world would be as sweet as cracking your jaw with the sole of my foot! Now, if you don't want to fight, that's fine...but just remember that now you have to live with the fact that you're a coward as well as an asshole!

 

Moneymaker's face drops, and now the rowdy crowd picks up on the comment, starting a less family friendly chant than before.

 

"ASSSSSSSSSS-HOLE!"

"ASSSSSSSSSS-HOLE!"

"ASSSSSSSSSS-HOLE!"

 

Sly leads the chant from ringside, while Moneymaker gets up on the middle rope and hollers down at the fans. He climbs down and unbuttons his dress shirt, fuming over Malibu's challenge, and then throws the shirt in Zack's face! Malibu, momentarily distracted, pulls the shirt away...only to be leveled with a high kick from Bosley!

 

COLE

What the hell!

 

 

Edited October 17, 2008 by Zack Malibu

[alfdogg 0]

BEST SEGMENT EVER!!!

[Zack Malibu 0]

LOL.

 

I just wanted to get the post up, that way I can try to get as much done while at work without forgetting about it until later.

[Tony149 0]

Zack, if it's alright with you, I went ahead and wrote an ending to your segment and edited it into last week's show.

 

Here's what I added, nothing major, just a quick finish.

 

Moneymaker leaps down from the middle rope, stomping Malibu in the chest as Bosley gets his licks in as well. It's a 2 on 1 attack until...SLY SOMMERS EVENS THE ODDS!?

 

COACH

Look at this fool, Cole. What does he think he's doing?

 

COLE

Helping a friend, that's what.

 

Sommers struggles to his feet after rolling inside, but goes unnoticed to Moneymaker and Bosley who continue their assault on Zack Malibu.

 

COACH

Guys, behind you!

 

Sly winds up and swings for the fences...BREAKING HIS CRUTCH ACROSS THE BACK OF BOSLEY~!!!

 

ALISON

 

The crowd reacts with a thunderous cheer. Not Theodore Moneymaker, however. The Billion Dollar Heir takes a shot at Sommers, but he ducks and catches Moneymaker in the gut and then over the back with the handle of the crutch! The rest of the Enterprise quick to come out and assist their boss while Sly Sommers and Zack Malibu are left standing tall inside, much to the delight of their fans as "Getting Away With Murder" cues.

 

MONEYMAKER

 

COLE

Oh, what a moment.

 

COACH

If you enjoy cheap shots and gang violence, all of which Sly Sommers and Zack Malibu committed.

 

COLE

Fans, we gotta take a quick time out. But whatever you do, please don't go away. We still have plenty more to come!