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Guest Agent of Oblivion

NFL Week 12

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I yell TOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCHDOWN SAINTS and then blast Song #2 and sing the lyrics at the top of my lungs. (I only do it if they get the PAT or two point conversion, so I would've done it 6 times)

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What happened to the team from last week??

 

This is just horribile.

 

Well we went from playing the Bears to playing the Saints. That's what happened.

 

More like, you went from playing a home game to a road game. The Bears have beaten the Saints before (twice in a row in fact), so don't act like we're inferior to them, you arrogant jackass. It just means you had one really strong game where everything clicked, to not so strong game. It happens to everyone.

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CIN @ PIT

 

Pittsburgh will dominate and win this game, but it will come at a high cost as they will lose a key player for the remainder of the season. To find out who, you'll have to make arrangements to go to one of the three or four places in your town, city, or commune that have the NFL Network.

 

PHI @ BAL

 

Ravens bounce back from last week's debacling. After the game, Donovan McNabb claims not to have known that an NFL game could end in a loss.

 

NYJ @ TEN

 

Can't pick against the Titans. Can't do it. Should be a competitive game, though. Like many others, I'm finally buying into the Bretts as a legit team. Not Super Bowl legit, but they could make some noise in the playoffs.

 

TB @ DET

 

Scares the shit out of me. It would be just like the Bucs to play horribly in Detroit and give the Lions their first win. Should that happen, you can wave goodbye to whatever postseason hopes Tampa has. They would be completely demoralized. I don't think this will happen, but I fear that it might. Still, I pick the Bucs to win.

 

MIN @ JAC

 

Hmmm. Both teams are major disappointments this year, but Minnesota is still in the hunt for their division title. For that reason, I predict that a hungry Vikings team will grind out a victory.

 

BUF @ KC

 

Are the Bills demoralized right now? They've lost quite a few in a row and barely have their heads above water in the playoff swim meet. The Chiefs have actually been playing decent ball for the last month or so, although they have no wins to show for it. I think they'll get one here.

 

CHI @ STL

 

Absolutely no reason why the Bears shouldn't crush St. Louis. This is really the perfect game to have coming off of their embarrassing performance against Green Bay. Bears by double digits.

 

NE @ MIA

 

Interesting game. Miami humiliated New England earlier in the year and both teams are really playing their best football right now. I think New England returns the favor here. It probably won't be as lopsided as the game at Foxboro, but the Pats will win.

 

SF @ DAL

 

Dallas gets a little breather here. Should be an easy one.

 

HOU @ CLE

 

Jesus, who cares? Cleveland, I guess.

 

OAK @ DEN

 

Oakland may be worse now than they were when Denver smeared them in week one, so I don't see why this outcome would be any different. Broncos by plenty.

 

CAR @ ATL

 

A really interesting game that I won't be able to see because I'll be in the Seattle market. I mean, goddamn. I spend the better part of two football seasons in the Atlanta market and there was maybe three Falcons games that I was interested in watching the whole time. The week I leave, they have a critical divisional showdown with the Panthers. Bah. I'm going with the Falcons here. Carolina has looked flat recently and the Falcons are trying to stay alive in a really tight division.

 

NYG @ ARI

 

Another fairly interesting game that I won't be able to watch. I'm not a believer in Arizona. Giants should win this one comfortably.

 

WAS @ SEA

 

Ah, but this one I get to take in and savor. God bless it. Redskins should be fine here, as Hasselbeck's return doesn't seem to have solved any of Seattle's problems.

 

IND @ SD

 

Not the marquee game I'm sure many envisioned at the start of the season, but still somewhat interesting. Indy seems to be getting on a roll at the right time. San Diego is just about dead in the water. Look for the Colts to avenge last year's postseason loss.

 

GB @ NO

 

Hey, another pretty interesting game. I really don't know what to make of Green Bay, as they seem to be up and down. I definitely don't think much of New Orleans and their nonexistent running game and godawful defense. Should be pretty tight all the way through, but I think Green Bay pulls one out in the end.

 

11-5 for the week. 110-66 on the year. Note that I was ahead of much of the media on the Jets, except for the part where I predicted that they would lose.

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