Paging TSM Teachers....

[Smartly Pretty 0]

I'm a lazy shit head too. Freshman year I had a 4.0 GPA, but now I'm a Junior and I'm dangerously close to actually falling below a 3.0.

 

Anyway, I've been meaning to tell this story here, this thread seems appropriate. My friend and I may very well have gotten a substitute teacher fired. She was subbing on the last period of the day on a Friday, and my friend and I asked the teacher if we could go outside. Just, you know, for kicks. She said yeah, and the whole class went outside and we enjoyed the nice Florida sun. Then on Monday our teacher was back and we were informed that the sub "would not be coming back" because she "got into my computer". Oops!

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Closest thing I had to an altercation was this red-state-american shop teacher I had for homeroom that tried to make me do pushups for saying "motherfucker."

 

"Haha, not on your life."

"You want detention instead?"

"Please."

 

I didn't go.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Oh yeah, I remember ultimate communism now. Haha.

 

My two worst teachers in high school both taught communication arts. It was one semester of "media literacy," and one semester of "interpersonal." It was just a grocery list of bullshit, from mandatory community service (there's a way to make this a valuable part of education, making it 55% of your grade to spend time you don't have is not it) to 7 Habits to any sort of sappy feel-good crap you can imagine. The media literacy class was the travesty, though, because the guy had no fucking clue. I knew more about the subject than he did. He'd spend the first five minutes just kind of dawdling waiting for announcements and Pledge of Allegiance (fuck that, by the way), then he'd do brain teasers, then he'd share the fluff stories that you hear on bad morning-drive adult contemporary radio shows, like the guy that won a "free toy Yoda" from a Toyota dealership and all that crap. The absolute nadir of my 2ndary-educational career was, and I'm not making any of this up, when after all the aforementioned timekillers, he got up, and wrote on the chalkboard,

 

I MET A STRANGE LADY

SHE MADE ME NERVOUS

SHE TOOK ME IN AND MADE ME BREAKFAST

 

Then he asked, "what is this from?" A few crappy guesses were hazarded just to keep the room from dying, and then he exclaimed "IT'S 'LAND DOWN UNDER!'" and played it on his boombox, ostensibly having had it all cued up since the beginning of class. So we sat and listened to motherfucking "Land Down Under" in our media class. It was the most surreal and pointless event in all of high school, and this was a high school career laden with surreal and pointless events, like being put under lockdown because the iguana escaped the biology room. This guy had a wife and kids, but I swear there's no way this dude didn't take pipe. At a party with some old high school chums this June, one of my friends recalled the time I walked into the classroom, he had "What Is Love?" by Haddaway blaring, and I stepped out of the room backward. I guess it was funny. But who am I to talk, I liked that song too.

 

With your permission... I'd like to put this in my screenplay.

 

The only thing I can remember about school right now is the fact my 10th grade algebra teacher used to taunt the horrible students. 5 days a week I'd at least hear, "That's okay (name here)... we need all kinds of people in this walk of life. I mean, who's going to take my order at TGI Fridays without people like you?"

 

Good stuff

[The Niggardly King 0]

I kind of regret it now. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble in my adult life had I not been such a lazy shithead for those four years. But maybe it wasn't my fault. Maybe the system failed me.

 

 

Yeah, looking back, if I actually gave a damn during those four years, things would be completely different now.

 

Me too! Oh man, this is probably why I have a drinking/drug problem.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

If he only knew what those kids were doing to his food...

[The Niggardly King 0]

His name was Chuck Stoner and he looked like Phil Jackson. Greatest teacher I ever had. If you had any kind of weakness, he'd bring you up and point it out.

 

"I hope you never lose your voice, because nobody could read this chicken scratch."

"HUH??!! WHAT??!! get the Payday out of your mouth, before you speak... fatty."

 

Great moments from my high school.

[Red Baron 0]

I never had him as a tecaher, but Mr. Johnstone was our law/business teacher and if you were caught sleeping in his class he would throw a tennis ball at you, which was called the skid ball.

[BUTT 0]

I'm considering going back to school and getting my degree in Secondary Education/English. Having a degree in writing hasn't done anything for me, so I need to consider a new vocation, and making $45K a year sounds pretty good to me (sad, isn't it?). I figure it'll give me something to do while I work on my first screenplay. Someone talk me out of it.

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

In my experience all Secondary Ed/English majors are really plain looking girls who are also super-boring. If you're into that sort of thing, go for it.

[BUTT 0]

All the hot girls are elementary ed. majors. From what I've seen they're usually not all that smart either, meaning they're getting our youngest generation off to a bad start by treating their formative education years as a mass babysitting job. :(

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

We should really just start outsourcing all lower education to China/India/et al. They've gotten to be far better at it then we'll ever be.

[BUTT 0]

Looking at my school district's faculty list, I find that a lot of the elementary school teachers who were there when I attended are still working there, while at the middle school I attended, the number of teachers still there from when I attended is, like, in the single digits. I wonder what that means.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I had the same high school history teacher as my mother. He retired after my brother's senior year; something like 40 years in front of a classroom. Wasn't that great of a teacher, honestly, but he was old as moons when I had the guy for AP History.

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

All the hot girls are elementary ed. majors. From what I've seen they're usually not all that smart either, meaning they're getting our youngest generation off to a bad start by treating their formative education years as a mass babysitting job. :(

 

One of my friends's girlfriend is an elementary education major. She's taking a 300-level English class this semester and I somehow got roped into editing her final paper. For the most part it was everything I expected: rudimentary/awkward sentence construction, poorly structured arguments, a lack of solid textual support, &c. A little irritating, but no big deal, really. Then I came across this doozy:

 

Benjamin Franklin had a similar success story. Even though he went through many hardships, he drove to be the example of “the working American.” He was very successful as well, and eventually became the President of the United States.

 

lol?

[SuperJerk 0]

All the hot girls are elementary ed. majors. From what I've seen they're usually not all that smart either, meaning they're getting our youngest generation off to a bad start by treating their formative education years as a mass babysitting job. :(

You don't have to be that smart of an adult to understand K-5 curriculum. In fairness to elementary teachers, holding the attention of kids 11 and under requires more of what you'd consider interpersonal skills than traditional academic prowess.