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King Cucaracha

HD: Jade/Maggie/Bo segment

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Up next, a match.


HAHAHA, just kiddin. Nah, instead we're backstage, where Melody Nerdly sits at the make-up table, more concerned with trying to amass a big score on Luminees on her PSP than being made-up. Deep in concentration, she barely notices Jade Rodez-Duncan scampering over to the table, carrying a wrapped box with a pretty pink bow on it. And only the potentially Wii game case size of the box tempts Melody into pausing her game.

MELODY
Whatcha got there?

JADE
This? I don't know, it was waiting outside Mom's door. And it's way too small to be for her. Unless it's a royalty cheque I suppose, but those'd probably come in an envelope, I'd imagine.

MELODY
Oh. Who do you suppose it's from, wink wink. I say 'wink wink', instead of actually winking, incase you start to worry that I'm have one of those epilectic fits the Nintendo games always warned me I'd get if I played them too much. Absolute scaremongering. 15 years and more and I've only had three such fits, that's hardly enough to be worth mention. So, ain't ya gonna open it!?

JADE
I dunno. You think I should?

MELODY
Well, it's probably not going to open itself. Unless it's a puppy.

Melody grabs the present and shakes it [b]violently[/b], before setting it down and waiting.

MELODY
If it's a puppy, it's a quiet one.

JADE
Don't be silly. Look, maybe it's not for me after all. There wasn't a note or anything. Maybe we should just put it back... or, we could open it carefully, I suppose, just so long as we mak... oh god...

Jade quickly grabs a magazine off the table and hides behind it. Confused, Melody wonders what's going on but stops short of pulling the magazine away to ask, as she sees BOHEMOTH coming their way down the corridor.

BOHEMOTH
Hey Melody.

MELODY
Hey Bo, what's up?

BOHEMOTH
Not much.

Bohemoth stops and looks at the shaking magazine for a while and grins.

BOHEMOTH
Hey Jade.

Sheepishly, Jade appears from behind the magazine, once again proving her mother's acting talent didn't pass down in the genes as she does her best to look surprised to see Bo.

JADE
Oh uh, hey, hi!

MELODY
So, Bo, you know Thanksgiving is coming up, no? Have you perhaps decided to GIVE anything, that you'd like THANKS for? Did you UNDERSTAND what I'm SAYING with my extremely noticeable and not at all subtle EMPHASIS on certain WORDS?

BOHEMOTH
Melody, not for the first time, I'm afraid I've got no idea what you're talking about. I'll see you girls around.

Bo walks off, allowing Jade to slowly ward off hyperventilating. As she starts to get her breath back, Melody picks up the present and shakes it around again. Jade, once she's composed herself, shares Melody's curiousness in the present all of a sudden and forgets about care as she tears the wrapping from the box. She takes a small peak inside, which just makes her more curious, a confused look on her face as she opens the box up...



[i]"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"[/i]


...and SCREAMS at the top of her lungs, throwing the box across the corridor! Jade leans up against the wall looking shocked, as Melody retrieves the present, picking it up by one leg. It's not a puppy, but it is a [i]squirrel[/i]. A dead one. And not a stuffed squirrel either, but what looks like an actual piece of roadkill.

MELODY
Well, either Bo's a lousy shopper... or this is a message.

JADE
Put it away. Put it away!

MELODY
It's okay, calm down. It's gone.

The dead squirrel is casually flicked into a nearby trash can before Melody tries to comfort the shaking Women's Champion.

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