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SWF New Year's Party!

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The SWF presents..



LIVE to DVD from the Trent FM Arena, Nottingham, England at 9pm GMT on Tuesday 6th January, 2009!

Yes, after the festive siege that is Christmas and New Year it's going to be time to lose (or ignore) the hangover and get back into shape after all that turkey and mince pies, as the SWF hops across the pond to ring in 2009 in the General Manager's home city! 10,000 of Toxxic's fellow countrymen will be raising the roof as the SWF superstars do battle...

Taiga Star© vs Tod James Stuart

Well now, who'd have thought it? The SWF's Cruiserweight Champion goes head-to-head with one-half of the team currently Number One Contenders for the Breslins' Tag Titles. Taiga defeated fellow DVS star Kevin Riggs, then beat out the enigmatic MANSON and former World Champion Thoth to reach the final, while Tod defeated Riggs' tag team partner X-Punk, handed Luke Breslin his first singles loss and finally took out former World Champion Michael Alexander. With Taiga having failed to capture the DVS European Title from Va'aiga, will she have more luck in her attempt to get a chance to take his SWF World Title? Meanwhile Tod wants to prove that he's capable of more than just the brave showing he put in against Insane Luchador the last time he went up against a reigning World Champion. The winner of this match gets the World Title shot... in the stipulation of their choosing.

Rules: Two-out-of-three falls. Count-outs and DQs apply as usual.
Word Limit: 9000
Send To: Toxxic

HELL IN THE SAL (Non-title)
Va'aiga© vs Luke Breslin

In Nottingham, on the street known as Maid Marian Way, there is a pub. This pub is known as Ye Olde Salutation Inn (aka The Sal). It claims to be the oldest in Nottingham (and it's a damn liar, because both Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem and The Old Bell are older), and upstairs every Friday night it has Rock Karaoke where some of Nottingham's most drunken show-offs bellow out raucous renditions of classic rock tracks.

What a perfect place for a barroom brawl!


See that upper floor? That's where it takes place. The contestants will enter next to the DJ booth where DJ Dave will announce them. There is an open area with some tables before you get to the stage where the singers do their stuff at the other end (the left, as we look at the photo). To the right of the stage is a bar, usually manned by a guy with ENORMOUS hair who looks like he's wandered in out of a Motley Crue video. There's a passage down to the gents lavatory which is by a fire escape. If you go back past the DJ booth there's some stairs down to the main part of the pub below, with more drinkers. The object is to fight until someone gets pinned, or alternatively drinks so much they pass out. This match will take place (and will be filmed) on Friday 2nd January, then edited into the show. Because live satellite broadcast to the crowd in the arena is beyond budget for us these days.

Rules: One pinfall to a win, don't hit on the barmaids
Word Limit: 6000. That might be far too much. This match isn't that serious, just run with it.
Send To: King Cucaracha. Will knows this venue like the back of his hand, and I'm pretty familiar with it. At least Landon won't have the bias of knowing what's where, which I would.

Team Canada (Kevin Riggs & X-Punk) vs The Sensational Academy (Panic & Danny Meadows)
DVS's Team Canada assure us that this time, they really are going to turn up and fight. To break them (back) in as a team in the SWF they get Toxxic's two students, as hapless and hopeless as ever.

Rules: Standard tag. Use the tag rope.
Word Limit: 4500
Send To: Toxxic

Thoth vs Michael Alexander

Uh-huh, you read that right.


Back in the day (well, 2004), a match was booked between Landon 'La Cucaracha' Maddix and Annie Eclectic. That match was a Mousetrap Match, which Landon eventually won. And the person who booked that match? Well, rumour had it that it was none other than everyone's favourite former DDRing Tag Team Champion, King Of Fighters wardrobe-stealer and general all-round badass, Thoth. Now, that wasn't the last time that Thoth's legacy would cause Landon trouble - his crazy booking skillz were after all the justification for Joe Peters shoving arch-enemies Landon and Toxxic together as a tag team under the 'Crazy Tag Partners That Hate Each Other' school of logic, for which Landon's suggestion of team name was 'Turn Your Head And Thoth' - but tonight it looks like someone's out for revenge.

It's probably just Michael Alexander's bad luck that he's been landed in this mess as well.

Rules: In the middle of the ring is a circle with a large cage suspended above it. All around the ring are items of equipment that can be fitted, slotted, duct-taped or whatever together to make that famous mousetrap mechanism. The person who manages to lower the cage using the completed mechanism and trap their adversary under it (hint, you'll probably have to knock them out first, or some approximation thereof) wins the match. If the cage is lowered and the opponent avoids it, it will be reset by the ring crew while you knock each other around some more. The actual mechanism is up to you, and can bear as close or as distant a resemblance to the game as you like.
Word Limit: Uh... 5000? Whatever you need, really
Send To: Toxxic

Ahh, ice hockey. Nottingham has a fairly decent team by UK standards, which means they're about equivalent to a Canadian fourth-grade highschool team. Right next door (and I mean RIGHT next door) to the TrentFM Arena is the Nottingham Ice Arena, where teenagers go to flirt on Saturdays with bits of metal attached to their feet. However, on this Tuesday evening it will be hosting a very special event organised by the Nottingham Panthers. Now, any self-respecting team of Americans or Canadians who know one end of an ice skate from the other should be able to whip this lot.

Unfortunately, what we've got includes two Japanese, one Brit and a possible robot.

Five minutes of non-stop action involving twelve men, two nets and a puck. The winner is the team to score most goals. Anything approaching normal ice hockey rules has been suspended apart from that, although dropkicks are discouraged for obvious reasons.

And now, the teams!


Goal: Davis Parley
Defence: Danny Meyers, Corey Neilson
Wingers: Jade Galbraith, Robert Lachowicz
Centre Forward: Dan Tessier


Goal: 'The Japanese Hammer' TORU Takahara
Defence: The Galacticos (Landon 'La Cucaracha' Maddix and 'The Straight-Edge Sensation' Toxxic)
Wingers: Ghost Machine IV, Dance Dance Dragon
Centre Forward: JJ Johnson (hey, at least the Canadian might be able to skate)

Rules: Most goals in five minutes wins, other than that: nada.
Word Limit: Whatever we come up with.
Writing: Tom, Landon, me... anyone else fancy joining in?
Send To: Me, of course.

ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS A MATCH, LET ME KNOW. Also, I'm in the mood for some more non-too-serious matches, like the Hell In The Sal. Anyone who wants something a bit silly that won't really effect anyone's standing in the fed, let me know.

Send all marked matches, promos etc to Toxxic
Edited by Toxxic

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