HD: Jade/Melody segment

[King Cucaracha 0]

COLE
Okay, as you may have seen reported on OAOAST.com, this past weekend an unfortunate incident took place in Manchester at a McDonalds restaurant between two OAOAST employees. But I'm sure while names of usual suspects such as The Deadly Alliance and The Enterprise would have come to mind to many, very few of our OAOAST Marks would have guessed that those involved would be, of all people, Melody Nerdly and OAOAST Women's Champion Jade Rodez-Duncan. Now that a thorough investigation has been carried out by OAOAST officials in accordance with the local police force, we can now show you footage of the incident from inside of the restaurant which has stunned the OAOAST locker room. Let's take a look.

COACH
Since when was McDonalds a 'restaurant'!? Damn boy, you must have low standards, no wonder you ain't gettin' no dates!



In a rarity for the OAOAST our coverage comes via store CCTV footage which is focused on the counter of the McDonalds outlet in question. In the futhermost left of the screen stand Melody Nerdly and OAOAST Women's Champion Jade Rodez-Duncan, patiently waiting to be served their order. Luckily it's not too busy inside, so we can still hear what they're saying. No sign of any problems yet as they chatter amongst themselves happily enough.

MELODY
...says she can shoot electricity out of her hands? What the hell is that all about?

JADE
Yeah. Weird. So, you like my new top then?

Jade opens up her pink track jacket. The camera is behind them which isn't exactly helpful, but we can only assume it's a very nice looking top.

MELODY
Hmmm. Not quite as cool as my Silver Surfer shirt, but yeah, I like it okay. Is it designer?

JADE 
Yup. It should have been $200 but, I got it for $140.

MELODY
Ooh, a bargain. Was it a sale?

JADE
Oh no, I just told them who I was and they let me have it cheaper.

MELODY
Oh. Okay.

An slightly awkward silence emerges between the two. In front of them, one of the McDonalds employees appears with their food and places the tray on the counter before heading off to sort out the drinks.

MELODY
So, anyway, what movie are we seeing?

JADE
Oh, I don't mind. I'm... not really a movie buff, so anything'll do for me. You're more an expert than I am.

MELODY
No, that's Molly. I'm Melody.

Jade chuckles and everything's okay between the two again. It's then that Jade takes a look inside her packaging though and when the employee returns with their drinks, Jade glances up from her meal.

JADE
Excuse me? Yeah, I asked for no lettuce on this.

Handing the food back indignantly Jade stands there and waits for the employee to go and get her another without saying another word.

JADE
GAWD, these people!

MELODY
Uh... first of all, these people, they're kinda my people. Besides, I'm sure it was just a simple mistake...

JADE
Yeah but I specifically said no lettuce. IE., a request. Not a suggestion. If I didn't mind lettuce, I wouldn't have said no lettuce and just let them make the decision for me, but I do mind, so I did. If they can't listen properly they shouldn't be working in a job that requires them to listen and act based on what I, the customer, tell them.

MELODY
It's just a bit of lettuce Jade. Not really worth making a fuss about, dontcha think?

JADE
That's not the point. If I want something, I expect to get it. As I ask for it.

Not quite understanding what Jade's big problem is Melody puts her hands on her hips and looks at her friend wondering what's gotten into her.

JADE
...what?

MELODY
I'm just tryin' to figure out what crawled up your BUTT all of a sudden. I just don't get what the big deal is. Couldn't you have just taken it off once we sat down or something?

JADE
I guess. But the point is, they shou...

Suddenly, a metallic and muffled sounding version of "Hot N Cold" by Katy Perry can be heard. Holding up a finger to encourage her friend to hang on a second Jade reaches into her back pocket of her jeans and unflips her cellphone.

JADE
Hello? ..... Oh HEY Miley, what's up? ..... Nah, I'm not up to much, just grabbing a bite to eat.

Suffice is to say, Melody looks offended at what she percieves as rude behaviour, to take a phonecall in mid-conversation.

JADE
..... Yeah. ..... Yeah. ..... Uh-huh. ..... Oh, they put lettuce in it. ..... Yeah I KNOW, what is UP with that? I totally asked for no lettuce but do they listen? Of course not! ..... Yeah, I did. ..... Nah, they're getting me another one right now.

MELODY
*ahem*

JADE
I dunno. ..... Hehehe, I know! ..... Oh, totally, totally.

MELODY
*AHEM*

JADE
(glances up)
Uh, listen, is there any chance I can call you back, now's not a cool time. ..... Okay, talk to you soon hun! See ya!
(closes phone)

MELODY
Okay, that's it.

JADE
What's the matter? Don't tell me they got your order wrong too.

MELODY
No, it's you.

Not sure what Melody means, Jade looks confused.

MELODY
Okay, I didn't want to say anything, but lately you've been... not yourself.

JADE
What are you talking about?

With tension rising the employee returns with the corrected food, wisely deciding not to speak up about it for fear of getting involved in the budding arguement.

MELODY
Well first of all you turned your nose up at my suggestion of taking the bus and insisted we get a taxi instead. Like you've got some sort of problem with public transport. Then you blanked that girl handing out leaflets at the mall. I used to do that job when I was in high school to earn myself some extra money cause I was saving up for a Mega Drive and people like that make it a super harsh job, okay? Now you're bitching out people for putting lettuce on your food? Come on, the Jade I know wouldn't do that.

JADE
What's that supposed to mean!?

MELODY
Well... I dunno.

JADE
No, if you've got something to say I'd rather you say it.

MELODY
Okay... well... lately, like ever since New Year, you've kinda been acting like a bit of a spoilt bitch.

JADE
:O

MELODY
And I'm not a real big fan of [i]that[/i] you, so as a friend I'm asking you what the deal is. Cause to be honest, I don't know if I wanna be hanging around with you if you keep acting like your Mom. There, I said it.

A little guilty at being that real from out behind the comfort of her computer screen, Melody picks up her box of Chicken McNuggets off of the tray and has one to calm her nerves.

JADE
[i]Excuse me!?[/i] My Mom is not a spoilt bitch! And neither am I! Take it back!

MELODY
(still chewing)
I stand by my comments.

Scowling at the slight of her family Jade starts to breath heavier, clearly fuming inside. And eventually she SEES RED and KNOCKS MELODY'S MCNUGGETS OUT OF HER HAND AND ONTO THE GROUND~!!!!

MELODY
:O

JADE
...oh my God, I'm sorry!

Melody stares agape at the McNuggets scattered on the floor, hand frozen in place. Looking genuinely apologetic Jade tries to find the words to make it better. But Melody doesn't want to hear it. With Jade still stunned at herself, Melody reaches over to the tray again...


*SPLASH*


...AND DUMPS A CHOCOLATE SHAKE OVER JADE'S FRONT!!!!!!

JADE
:O

Looking down at her now ruined top, Jade is even more stunned now. And seconds later the two friends lunge at each other AND START TUSSLING, PULLING AT EACH OTHER'S HAIR AND SHRIEKING LIKE BANSHEES!!!! Quickly the employees behind the counter rush out front to pull the girls apart before they can come to proper blows. Other customers look on open mouthed in horror as Melody keeps kicking out long after Jade is out of reach. Melody shrugs her fellow internet dwelling spotty teenagers off and insists "I'M COOL, I'M COOL" before disappearing out of camera shot and presumably outside. Left behind is Jade, her pink track jacket and the expensive top she blagged $60 off of now stained with chocolate milk, not to mention her hair looking a real mess from being pulled at.


[b](BACK TO THE ARENA)[/b]

COACH
...that it?

COLE
That was it. Very unsavoury scenes there and very out of character from both. OAOAST officials have reprimanded both ladies for their actions and were sent home this week to, for the lack of a better term, think about what they've done. However, the bad blood apparantly still stands as just signed for AnglePalooza at the behest of both ladies, Jade Rodez-Duncan defends her Women's Title one on one against Melody Nerdly!

COACH
No, seriously... was that it?

COLE
Yes, that was it.

COACH
What a letdown. The way they talked it up on the website you'd have thought somebody'd ripped one of the seats out and taken it to somebody's eye. Instead we get some slapped McNuggets and a spilt drink. Neither of them even threw a slap! This is why I hate the internet. Nothing but false promises.

COLE
That's a story I'd rather not explore further.