Tony149 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2009 If it's not too much trouble, I'd like the match (in second post) to follow this promo. Backstage we go inside the Enterprise’s private dressing room where OAOAST senior correspondent Tony Brannigan is alongside Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright, both suited up in their full entrance attire. BRANNIGAN Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright, you’re moments away from going against two of your own to determine which team will represent the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference in the 2009 Anderson Cup Finals. With talks of the fix being in due to your close association, OAOAST President Josie Baker issued an executive order stating that should you gentlemen and V.I.C.E. not attempt to competitively compete then all four of you will be eliminated from the Anderson Cup and suspended without pay! MONEYMAKER It’s been said we learn from our mistakes, Brannigan. Never before have I understood the meaning than right now. I should’ve known better to think a woman could do a man’s job. Not since Fannie and Freddie has a company been so mismanaged like the OAOAST under the watch of Ms. Baker. From smoking during business hours to nepotism, her regime has been colossal failure. Oh how I long for the days when a sexual deviant in charge of a Fortune 500 company. Moneymaker becomes distracted when V.I.C.E. and Inspector Morgan Nerdly enter the room. MONEYMAKER Well if it isn’t Alpha and OMEGA. INSPECTOR NERDLY OMEGA, sir? MONEYMAKER Oh, my effin’ god another fuckup! Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a goddamn interview! CPA Sorry, boss. MONEYMAKER Oh, goodie you’re sorry! Way to man up there, Chris. I suppose you’re sorry about losing my second Angle Award too. You know, the one I handled off for you to protect! Well sorry isn’t gonna reattach the head to my decapitated fuckin’ award, nor turn melted puddle of gold back into its original form! WRIGHT Remind me to never let them guard my briefcase. DETECTIVE BOSLEY Hey, bro, I didn’t hear Teddy say speak. WRIGHT :angry: INSPECTOR NERDLY Bosley, please. Mr. Moneymaker, sir, I take full responsibility for the destruction of your second Angle. The guys always kept the briefcase containing it in sight until we stopped for a bite to eat late one night. Bosley wanted a powerbar but Chris and I wanted something more solid. Ragdoll must’ve had some goons tailing us and snatched it while we were inside. MONEYMAKER No, don’t take responsibility for their fuckups! I saw the video diaries. You understood it was a business trip. Those two piss ants thought it was a paid vacation. DETECTIVE BOSLEY Piss-- MONEYMAKER No, shut the fuck up, Bosley! Think for one fuckin’ second! What was your mission objective? DETECTIVE BOSLEY To find the S.O.B. who jacked your Angle Award. MONEYMAKER Ohhhhh, goooood for you! You were paying attention after all. DETECTIVE BOSLEY (snorts) Well of course, boss. You sign the checks and… MONEYMAKER And she handles the rest because you two did nothing more than go along for the ride! Had you done your fucking job I wouldn’t have to worry about some freak in clown makeup or those ingrates Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard reaching the Anderson Cup Finals. I shouldn’t have to get my hands dirty with either of them. You wouldn’t find the Hilton sisters taking out the garbage. They have people to do that, like I had you. (pointing off-screen) No! Noooooo! Don’t wrap me up! UNSEEN MALE EMPLOYEE I’m not wrapping you up. MONEYMAKER You fuckin’ right you’re not. Don’t you-- Don’t you fucking roll your eyes at me! I don’t go interrupting your phone call with your boyfriend, do I? What the fuck you lookin’ at me like that for? You’re more flaming than Los Diablos de Fuego. One phone call and you’re first at the unemployment line in the morning. You got that? I said you got that?! Gimme a fuckin’ answer! UNSEEN MALE EMPLOYEE Yeah, man. We’re cool. MONEYMAKER You better fuckin’ hope so. Brannigan, you have anything to ask these pricks? BRANNIGAN … MONEYMAKER Well you should because that’s your fuckin’ job -- to ask questions. I know we had a good interview going until Chris and Boz came walking in and I’m thinking, “Why the fuck are they walking in during my TV time.” I mean I could always get more because I have clout at TSM, but it’s a little something called professional courtesy. Do you understand? My heart isn’t into it when shit like that happens. INSPECTOR NERDLY It was an accident, Teddy. They didn’t mean to interrupt your interview. MONEYMAKER There you go defending them again. What a two-faced bitch you are. INSPECTOR NERDLY :o MONEYMAKER Then again, you can’t help it. It’s genetics. You’re a Nerdly. The Inspector lips tremble as she holds back tears. MONEYMAKER Ah, you gonna cry? Do you suddenly have the urge to go cut yourself? Well here’s 5 bucks. Go buy a Gillette and slice yourself like a human pizza! Morgan bursts out of the room in tears. V.I.C.E. right behind, presumably to prevent the Inspector from harming herself. BRANNIGAN Hey, wait a minute! Where are you guys going? Your match is NEXT! MONEYMAKER Fuckin’ pussies. Let’s roll CW. And so they do, heading to the ring for their upcoming match. * COMMERCIAL * Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2009 The music of AC/DC and their song “Money Talks” welcome us back from break and Theodore Moneymaker/Christian Wright to the ring. COLE And welcome back to the longest running episodic series in TSM history, ladies and gentlemen. We’re about set to go with our MWC Conference Final match, or so we hope after Theodore Moneymaker went off on V.I.C.E. moments ago. The Billion Dollar Heir perhaps beginning to crack under pressure. COACH You and everybody wishes. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The following Anderson Cup bout is for the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Title! Introducing first, the top ranked in the conference representing THE ENTERPRISE, at a total combine weight of 465 pounds… “THE NATURAL” CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and “THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR” THEODORE MMM-- Buffer has the mic ripped out of his hands. MONEYMAKER My time is money and I’m not gonna waste precious millions waiting for Black Thunder and White Lightning to return. So Mr. Official, I suggest you start the 10 count. By the way, if anybody spots Chris and Bosley on the streets tell them don’t bother reporting for work in the morning because as of right now they’re officially terminated! COLE Oh, my! Theodore Moneymaker just fired V.I.C.E.! COACH If you ain’t getting the job done then you need to be out of a job. Teddy did what any good CEO would do and trimmed the fat from his Enterprise. Referee Nick Patrick administers the 10 count. ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… FIVE… COLE The referee’s already at five. Can V.I.C.E. make it to the ring in time? COACH If they have any backbone they’ll show, but I don’t think they do after Teddy put them in their place. SIX… SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE … TEN! * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners by forfeit, advancing to the Anderson Cup Finals, the 2009 Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Champions… “THE NATURAL” CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and “THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR” THEODORE MONEYMAKER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As their hands are raised, the crowd ROARS as the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS hit the ring! COACH What are these idiots doing? COLE Sending a message. The BHB get the better end of an exchange between them and their former E associates, then plant them mid-ring with stereo flapjacks before dropping THE ATOMIC BLOND! They cover both men and count the pin themselves. ONE! TWO! THREE! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE The Blonds just pinned their former associates. COACH That means nothing. NOTHING! “Superstar” cues as the BHB stand tall over Moneymaker and Wright. COLE I think Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright have received the message loud and clear. They won’t be able to intimidate the Beverly Hills Blonds. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2009 Good job I didn't write the promo with Krista I was going to! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
