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alfdogg

HD: segments

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Cut backstage, where the Deadly Alliance has had happier times.

REJECT
I can't believe this.  The Deadly Alliance is in a serious slump.  We need to get it together somehow.

MR. DICK
Hey, at least I won my match at Zero Hour!

REJECT
Yeah, you pushed a jobber off a scaffold, good show.

MR. DICK
(hesitates)  Hey, a win's a win.

REJECT
Well, I guess you're right.  At least one of us held onto the ball that night.

SANDMAN
What's that supposed to mean?

REJECT
(hesitates)  Come on.  After two years...Denzel Spencer?  Really?

SANDMAN
Hey, at least I've had a title in the last two years.  What have you done, beat up on Alfdogg?  Like I couldn't have done that.

REJECT
I've also got this.

Reject holds up the Money in the Bank briefcase.

REJECT
And I can use this whenever I want.

SANDMAN
Yeah, too bad about that big anchor that's tied to your ass.  It must be tough wrestling with that thing!

Reject starts to confront Sandman, but quickly backs off when Sandman raises up his barbed-wire bat.  Then, everyone's attention is diverted, when Alfdogg (who, notably, is wearing a bandage on his head) walks into the room!

ALF
Hope I'm not interrupting anything.

REJECT
You got a lot of nerve walking into this locker room...

SANDMAN (interrupting)
Hey, hey, hey...so uh, what'd you do to your head?

TK (quietly)
Bust-eeeeeeed!

ALF
I got in a car accident leaving the PPV.  Head-on collision.

TK
You got it in the Chamber of Hell.  Don't try to lie!

ALF
OK, ok...it was a fender-bender, and I didn't have my seatbelt on.

REJECT
Right.  Wait 'til Josie hears about this!

ALF
She knows all about it.

Reject is lost for words, and storms off to Josie's office, with the rest of the DA following.  Alf just looks on and smiles.

 

This one goes after the previous one, obv.

 

The DA is seen waiting in Josie's office.  After a few seconds, Josie walks out with a police officer and a big folder.

JOSIE
OK, I've checked this all out, guys.

REJECT
And?

JOSIE
Alf's not lying to you.  He really was in a wreck after the show.

Reject rubs his hands over his head in frustration.

OFFICER
I wrote the accident report.  The windshield was cracked and he was bleeding from the forehead, but he refused medical treatment.

SANDMAN
But how do you know that the accident caused that injury to his head?

OFFICER
His DNA was on the windshield.

Sandman has a similar reaction to Reject.

OFFICER
Am I missing something here?

JOSIE
These guys are speculating that Alfdogg wrestled in a match at the show he was coming from, in which he sustained the cut to his head, prior to the accident.  And contractually, he's not allowed to wrestle for this company anymore.

OFFICER
Well, I'm afraid I can't prove one way or the other how the injury initially occured.  I'm sorry, I can't help you guys anymore.

The officer leaves, and Reject walks up to Josie's desk.

REJECT
OK, I've had it.  This has got to end.  I want a match with that Teal Tiger at the Halloween Spectacular.  If I win, he has to unmask.  If it's Alf, which I think we all know it is, he's DONE.  No wrestling, no appearances, no anything.  He can't even park CARS at our events.

Josie considers it for a few seconds.

JOSIE
OK, you got your match.

REJECT
Thank you.

JOSIE
But I'm going to add one more stip.  Should you lose this match, in any manner...that includes being counted out or disqualified...then I will re-instate Alfdogg to full capacity as a wrestler.

REJECT
What?  No, you can't do that.

JOSIE
Ok, if you don't really want the match...

REJECT
No wait...(deep breath)...OK, I'll do it. I retired Alf once, I'll do it again.

JOSIE
And that stip goes the same for the Tiger...he can't get himself DQ'ed or counted out, or he still has to unmask.

REJECT
Great.  Come on, guys.

The DA leaves the office, as Josie instructs one of her workers to have the contract drawn up.

 

I might do a PATD/BB's segment if I have time later, as well.

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