King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted December 11, 2009 *DINGDINGDING* As the bell sounds, the teams get together in their corners. Landon leads all seven of his team-mates with a last minute strategy session, while Baron makes it clear he's starting for his team. On the outside, Queen Esther blissfully waves to the crowd. COLE So let's see who's going to start things off out of this mass of humanity. Eventually the other members of each team line up on the apron. Which leaves Baron to starts things off with Lucius Soul. Lucius combs at his fro, while Baron's eyes wander over to Landon, making it clear who he wants. Baron and Lucius eventually lock up and the big Texan muscles Soul back into a neutral corner. LUCIUS Yo, step off me brother! Step off me brother! A clean break doesn't placate Lucius, put out at the fact his 'fro got messed with. He combs it back down, glaring at Baron for daring to touch his hair, before they lock up again. Baron quickly wrings the arm and gives it a couple of tugs, giving Lucius something worth worrying about. First tag is made to bring in Ned, to a cheer. Ned lays into Lucius's arm and takes over with the wristlock. Lucius goes to the gut with a knee though. Dishing out two right hands, Lucius then takes Ned over, making the tag to James Blonde. COLE Plenty of options there to tag here in the early going of this match. But as the eliminations come, this field will whittle down before your eyes. When a man is eliminated, his partner must go too, meaning this first fall will leave one team at an 8 to 6 disadvantage. Blonde tees off on Ned confidently as he comes in. But The Handsome Hustler doesn't stand for that for long. Reaching out for the blonde mane of his fashion conscious opponent, all it takes is one tug from Ned to bring JB down to his knees with a yelp. "HEY! HEY HEY HEY!" Cries of disgust from Blonde's corner rain in, as Ned ignores the referee and makes Blonde suffer a little. COACH Come on! He's treating him like a cheap hooker! COLE .... COACH Not that I'd know anything about that. COLE .... Tag is made by Simon and Blonde takes advantage, scurrying away. In comes Scottish Scott to match up with BOSS. The Scot goes to lock up with Simon, only for Singleton to duck underneath and grab a hold of Scott by the BEARD. "[i]HEEEYYY[/i]" The cries are now whines as the hair-based offence continues from the Cobras. Scott catches Simon with a back elbow to free his facial features, before they're torn off. Irish whip sends Simon for the ride, but the well-populated apron saves him as a blind tag is made by Blanchard. Simon manages to slide through Scott's legs to save himself, then uses a quick drop toehold to take Scott down, setting him up for the POINTY ELBOW~! COLE VINTAGE Ned and Simon! Ned covers... 1... 2... No! Ned tries to pull Scott up, but he breaks free and tags in Nathaniel Black. Black comes in and immediately blasts Ned with a European uppercut, which changes the mood in a split second. COLE Here's a man with a lot of frustrations. And eight opponents to take them out on. Backed into a corner, Ned is blasted across the chest with a double palm thrust. And another. Then another European uppercut. All serving to knock the wind out of Ned, while Black walks away and tries a charge. Ned sidesteps in the corner though and Black runs himself into the turnbuckles. Tag is made to MARV, who quickly runs the ropes and nails Black with a running dropkick. Black is knocked back against the ropes behind him, but not down. And he patiently waits for MARV to step his way, before dishing out another European uppercut. COACH Wow, Nat Black, just blasting dudes like... uh... like a European, I guess. With MARV down Landon suddenly makes himself seen amongst his many partners. Eager for the tag, he gets it, despite Black not being eager to tag out. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon quickly puts the boots to MARV, stopping for a second to pose for the crowd which almost draws in Baron. Both Blonde and Queen Esther look on with pride as Landon whips MARV to the ropes and delivers a Dropsault! Cover... 1... 2... No! Taking too much time picking MARV up, Landon allows the Edmonton native to crawl through the ropes and apply the tag. Annoyed, Landon turns around INTO A BIG KISS FROM MORACCA!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" QUEEN ESTHER :O COACH AAH! COVER YOUR EYES, QUEEN! Unable to stand anymore, James Blonde comes in and peels (ew!) Moracca off of Landon. COLE Jealous much? COACH Hey! Blonde argues with Moracca (quite the task seeing as he speaks no English), while Landon overcomes the horror of what just happened. And he manages to clear the taste out of his mouth. Unfortunately, he does this by spitting, just as Blonde tries to punch Moracca and he ducks. BLONDE UGH! Surprisingly, Blonde isn't honoured to be covered in the phlegm of his leader and wretches it back at Moracca... who ducks again, causing Landon to be hit with the spit! COLE Landon and Blonde getting into some hot spit-swapping action, only here live in the OAOAST! Blonde tries to apologise to Landon, unaware that Mariachi has snuck into the ring. Despite the warnings from their partners. And Los Diablos grab onto the blonde locks of both Landon and Blonde, much to their horror, as their faces are pressed togethe... NO! The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club break up the potential man on mentor action! That draws in The Orange County Cobras, which draws in everyone else, for a MASS brawl!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE And it did not take long for this one to break down! All sixteen men going at it and good luck trying to control this referee Charles Robinson! The individual brawls spread around the ring and inevitably outside, just a sea of flying fists. Remaining in the ring, Los Diablos lie in wait for Landon and trap him, looking to deliver the Kiss Of Death. However before he can be taken down, Maddix is saved, as Lucius Soul flies in and nails Moracca with the POOOOOUUUUUUNNCCEEEE~!!! That leaves Mariachi still clinging to Landon, easily overpowered and spun into the mat with the Crash Landon '05! COACH Count ref! Pay attention! COLE Pay attention!? There's like 7 different fights going on! The ref finally does turn around to see Landon pinning Mariachi, despite Moracca being the 'legal' Diablo... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH Yeah! Count it! COLE Landon gets the pin, but on the wrong member of Los Diablos! COACH Ah, who cares? They look exactly the same. COLE Because they're Mexican!? COACH No, because they're wearing masks and covered from head to toe in pink lycra. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Los Diablos De Fuego Elimination: Mariachi by Landon Maddix TEAM LANDON 4(x2) TEAM BARON 3(x2) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Landon has the audacity, amongst all this fighting, to celebrate his pinfall win. He doesn't realise that Ned Blanchard has slid back in behind him and announces himself, via a fist to the face! COLE The match continues on regardless and with a 6 to 8 deficit for Ned Blanchard to try and rectify. Irish whip by Ned, setting Landon up for a Powerslam! 1... 2... No! Landon backs into a corner, trying to lure Ned in. But The Handsome Hustler is wise to all Landon's tricks and blocks the attempt at a kick to the gut. The sudden nice-guy act doesn't do Maddix any good either, begging off not an escape route. Ned drops the foot and starts to unload with right hands in the corner. Stomps then work their way in, forcing Landon down against the bottom turnbuckle, covered up as best he can against the boots. COLE Ned stomping an Orange County mudhole in Landon's chest and walking it dry! COACH Do they have mudholes in Orange County? Pulled back up, Landon is whipped to the opposite corner. Maddix gets a knee up on a Blanchard charge though. The brawls on the outside start to break off and the competitors start to get back on the apron, which allows Landon to tag Danny Boy. COLE Here comes Danny Boy, that ought to cheer up Queen Esther... COACH Oh my God, I forgot about the Queen! Is she okay!? She didn't get caught up with any of these fighting brutes, did she!? COLE I'm sure she's fine. Who cares? Back to the match. COACH [i]Who cares[/i]!? I oughta slap the shit outta you son, disrespecting a Queen like that! Where are your goddamn manners!? Danny Boy works over Ned, clubbing away at the back. Aiming him off with an irish whip Danny then throws a clothesline, but Ned ducks underneath. Putting on the breaks Ned waits, looking to catch hold of Danny Boy for the Stungun, but Danny Boy puts on the blocks and slams a double axehandle into Ned's back. DANNY BOY *beats chest* COACH Ach aye, Danny! After a couple more double axes, Danny tries to whip Ned again. But this time, Ned counters. Pulling Danny Boy in, Blanchard gets the double leg pick-up, turns 180 and hits the STUNGUN! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Stungun! And a tag, to Singleton! Simon rushes up the turnbuckles, up top, for the ROCKET LAUNCHER!!! Ned stands guard... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE And just like that we are all evened up! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: The Last Kings Of Scotland Elimination: Danny Boy by Simon Singleton TEAM LANDON 3(x2) TEAM BARON 3(x2) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Queen Esther looks distraught, as her Last Kings are sent to the back. So distraught, she can barely look them in the eyes. Nor Ned and Simon, who wave them bye-bye. COLE Great job by the Orange County Cobras. That two man deficit never got a chance to be a factor, Ned got right in there and went right to work. COACH Shame on Danny Boy. Not the performance of Kings, really. Let their Queen down. Regrouping his team, Landon sends Faqu into the ring. COACH Hmm, what was that I just felt being picked up around me. Oh, that's right, BUSINESS! Ned squares up to Faqu, eyeing up the big Samoan... and decides to let Baron Windels have a go. Baron asks Ned what's up and he feigns a sore hamstring, before encouraging Baron to "go get 'em!" COLE So the two big men of the teams, Faqu and Baron. I guess Ned can admit when he's not the bigger man after all. COACH Come on, that was worse than my line! Eye to eye Baron and Faqu staredown, the Samoan growing ever angrier by the second. And he throws a big right. But Baron blocks and slugs Faqu in the jaw! Faqu tries again, but again Baron fires back. Big, Texas sized right hands rock Faqu against the ropes, setting up an irish whip and a dropkick, knocking Faqu off his feet! COLE Wow! Down goes Faqu! Baron quickly covers... 1... 2... No! Wringing the arm Baron controls the wild savage while Tim Cash comes in with an axehandle. Cash bars the arm and brings Faqu down to the mat. An elbow dug in the shoulder has Faqu grunting, which presumably means he's in pain. COLE One of the best technicians in the OAOAST is Tim Cash. And if he can keep Faqu down on the mat he stands a much better chance against him. Into a hammerlock, Cash drops a knee to the arm. Reaching out for a tag Tim then gentlemanly lets Ned Blanchard in on the fun, working the hammerlocked arm with a couple of knees of his own. Another tag then brings Baron in for more of the same. FAQU BLARRHAHARGH! RARRRAAHAHGAH!! COACH I think he's saying that Baron pulled the hair, Cole. COLE He did not! Baron keeps hold of Faqu as he climbs back to his feet. One hard elbow changes that though. Faqu follows Baron over to the ropes and headbutts him in the shoulder, then tries to throw him into the ropes. But Baron hangs on and pulls Faqu in for a Single Arm DDT! With Faqu down, Baron tries a cover... 1... 2... No! Pinning down the arm Baron reaches out for Simon, who comes in off the top with a flying knee to the bad arm! COLE And Baron's team doing a great job of isolating Faqu from his corner and working on that arm. Not the guy you'd expect them to target. COACH Yeah, what good is going after Faqu's arm? You think you're going to make him quit? Simon boots Faqu in the gut as he gets back up and tries an irish whip. Even with a bad arm though, Faqu has the strength to put on the brakes. Instead Faqu throws Singleton into a corner and crushes him with an Avalanche!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There's the flaw in Team Baron's plan. Tag is made and as Simon staggers out of the corner, James Blonde runs up the turnbuckles and flies in from Simon's blindside with a knee to the side of the head! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Blonde puts the boots to Simon, before dragging him away from outstretched arms of his allies. A scoop and a slam places Singleton in position near the corner. And Blonde heads up the turnbuckles again. This time, from the second rope, he measures with a big right hand... but MISSES the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop, as Simon rolls out of the way! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Rolling to the corner Simon tags in MARV, who comes in swinging. Unloading with right hands MARV runs through Blonde and takes a swing at Lucius and Rico on the apron as well. Blonde tries to take advantage of the lapse in concentration by cutting MARV off with a clothesline, but MARV ducks underneath and comes back at JB with a Running Hurricanrana! COLE The pace is picking up with The Christ Air Express! Blonde takes another wild swing at MARV and gets caught with a schoolboy... 1... 2... NO! MARV tries to charge at Blonde again, but this time The Trendsetter gets an elbow up to block. Blind tag is made to MEL though. And as Blonde charges, MARV leapfrogs, putting Blonde right in the path of a Flying Crossbody from MEL!! 1... 2... NO! COLE Teamwork like you're only going to see from MARV and MEL! COACH Yeah, but that doesn't make it any more legal. MEL quickly tries to whip Blonde to the ropes. But Blonde reverses... and with the referee busy putting MARV back on the apron, Landon Maddix takes advantage with a knee to the back!! COLE HEY! From the outside, Maddix! Stricken, MEL pulls up and falls prey to Illegally Blonde!! 1... 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And thanks to an assist, Blonde picks up the fall! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: The Christ Air Express Elimination: MEL by James Blonde TEAM LANDON 3(x2) TEAM BARON 2(x2) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Queen Esther applauds the ingenuity of Landon, who smirks at the fans whilst trying to look nonchalant. So nonchalant that he doesn't notice James Blonde celebrating. And as Blonde tries to get Landon's attention, he doesn't pay enough to Tim Cash, in from behind with an O'Connor roll! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Horror-stricken, Blonde sits on his knees with his hands on his head as finally, Landon turns around, to see that his team's advantage lasted even less time than their first one! COACH OH NO! COLE Blonde caught napping! And we are all evened up again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: James Blonde and Faqu Elimination: James Blonde by Tim Cash TEAM LANDON 2(x2) TEAM BARON 2(x2) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A despondant Blonde leaves, trying desperately to apologise to Landon at the same time. Meanwhile Nathaniel Black comes in to duke it out with Cash. COLE Looks like it's bed without dinner for James Blonde tonight! Maybe a few minutes on the naughty step! Blonde continues to plead for forgiveness as he and Faqu are ejected. Back in the ring, Black takes over on Cash with a series of European uppercuts and sends him to the ropes. Black aims for the midsection with a low headbutt, but Cash goes up and over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Rolling through, Black takes the legs, looking for a crab hold. With a twist of his body Cash is able to escape, sending Black for a spin as well. Quick tag and Baron Windels comes in, going to work on Black with his Texas sized right hands and a couple of Cowboy Bebop elbows thrown in for good measure. Whipped from corner to corner, Black is set up for the flying BUTT bump of Futuramatude, but moves out of the way. He quickly tags Lucius, who tries to take advantage of Baron's rest in the corner with a Yakuza Kick... but Baron moves out of the way! COLE Ooh, and Lucius gets crotched! COACH That's okay. That's not going to hurt a stone cold pimp like Lucius! Once he's able to drag himself off the ring ropes, Lucius turns around and gets nailed with a clothesline. Baron tags in Simon and slams Lucius, for Simon to come off the top with a Flying Kneedrop! Cover... 1... 2... No! Lucius rolls away and tries to catch Singleton with a backhand slap, but Simon ducks. A boot to the gut doubles Soul up. Off the ropes Simon then delivers a running kneelift, carrying on off the ropes looking for a clothesline. Lucius avoids him with a leapfrog though, then delivers a Bicycle Kick to Simon as he comes back! COACH YEAH~! COLE What a shot, right to the BUTT of the jaw with that boot. Tag is made to Rico, who strokes down the porn 'stache and delivers the big legdrop, pinning Simon down... 1... 2... No! Rico slaps on a chinlock, trying to keep Simon from his corner. COLE It's an interesting line-up we're left with. The eight man tag team champions trimmed in half and Citizen Soldiers side by side with Simon and Ned, who've been far from good citizens in the past. But they're trying to get behind Simon right here. Fighting back to his feet, Simon goes to the ribs with an elbow. A second. And a third. Simon then tries to whip Rico to the corner, but the Brazilian reverses, only to miss with a clothesline in the corner! Simon tags Rico with a couple of right hands, then quickly tags in Ned. The Handsome Hustler comes in swinging, unloading on Rico, then on Lucius who tries to enter the ring illegally to help his partner. COLE And the old bitter feelings are beginning to spill over between the Cobras and the Hellfire Club! Ned and Simon tee off on Lucius and Rico respectively, all four men in the ring as their partners look on from the apron. Double irish whips set up the Mardi Gras duo for a double BAAAAACK bodydrop! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COACH Come on ref, get some control up in this place! With Lucius hurt and rolling out of danger, Rico is left two on one. Simon and Ned set him up, signalling to the crowd that it's time for a special Double Feature. Together they send the Brazilian to the ropes... and deliver the Double Feature Flapjack, not realising that Landon had snuck out a hand while their heads were down. Ned goes for the cover, but the referee refusing to count. COLE I think a tag was made! Rico's not the legal man! Cussing out the referee, an unsuspecting Ned gets up from the cover. And on one knee, he's BLASTED in the face with a Superkick! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" With Ned rocked, Landon quickly picks him up and delivers the GTS, while Black plays blocker, keeping Baron and Cash from getting in... 1... 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE Oh man! The Cobras are gone and it's four on two... I don't think Ned has any idea what hit him! COACH A classic misdirection play! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Orange County Cobras Elimination: Ned Blanchard by Landon Maddix TEAM LANDON 2(x2) TEAM BARON 1(x2) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Too little too late, but Baron manages to muscle his way past Black and into the ring, to start unloading on Landon with right hands! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" The crowd go wild as Landon is pounded senseless, but are left deflated when Black finally cuts Baron off from behind. Black clubs away on Baron, until Tim Cash comes to the rescue and peels Black away. As they do battle, Landon waves for the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club, who quickly aide La Cucaracha in a 3 on 1 beating of the big Texan. COLE Okay, it's four on two, but that's no excuse for [i]this[/i] kind of numbers advantage. You're telling me the referee can spot that blind tag, but he can't see that there's six men in the ring? COACH He sees it. He just can't do anything about it. COLE ...that's just as bad! Baron ends up being kicked to the arena floor and his three attackers follow him outside, which at least solves Cole's problem. In the ring, Cash and Black exchange forearms, with the Brit getting the better of it. He delivers a European uppercut, putting Cash on the backfoot. Off the ropes Black then looks for a big Lariat, but Cash spins around the back, into a Backslide! 1... 2... NO! Rolling to his feet, Black grabs Cash and tries to cross the arms for the Brittania Bomb. Cash spins out before that can happen, leaping up to crack Black with a quick Enziguri! The Brit wobbles, but doesn't go down. So Cash quickly climbs to the top rope. Black manages to shake the effects of the kick off, but not in time to prevent Tim coming off the top with a Missile Dropkick! COLE Here we go, Tim's got him, he's got him! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Tim holds his head in his hands, but doesn't even think of complaining about the count. Meanwhile, on the outside, Baron is fighting back on all three of his opponents. Teeing off on Rico and Lucius, he dishes out right hands, alternating between the two. But in doing so, he loses sight of Landon Maddix, who has bailed to consort with Queen Esther. And before Baron knows what's happened, he's laid out, struck in the back of the head with the SCEPTER!! COLE LOOKIT... THE SCEPTER! COACH And the referee didn't see a thing! Brilliant! COLE Baron is knocked OUT, what is that thing made of!? With Baron KOed, Cash is all alone, but catches a break on Black with a double leg trip allowing him to slap on the MIDWEST SLING! No danger of Black submitting though, as Lucius slides in and blasts Cash with a boot to the side of the head! COLE And now, it's four on one! Five if you count Queen Esther! Ridiculous! With Landon standing back and looking on proudly, The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club pick Cash back up. Queen Esther cheers her knights on, as they set Tim up. Rico lifts him over the shoulders, as Lucius comes off the turnbuckles with the MOUSTACHE RIDE/SWINGING DDT COMBO!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Spiked him! With Cash motionless, Landon strolls over and kneels down on Cash's chest, with a huge grin on his face. COLE Oh come on! 1... 2... 3!!!! QUEEN ESTHER YAAAAAY!! *DINGDINGDING!* The Queen jumps for joy, clapping her hands, as Landon stands up as nonchalantly as he had gotten down. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners and sole survivors... THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB... and, NATHANIEL BLACK and LANDON MADDIX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE And after all that, Landon had to get the glory. Gimme a break. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Citizen Soldiers Elimination: Tim Cash by Landon Maddix SOLE SURVIVORS: MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB, LANDON MADDIX and NATHANIEL BLACK ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Queen climbs into the ring to join the celebrations, as Landon shares a handshake with both Rico and Lucius on a job well done. As she skips into the ring Queen Esther is then taken by the hand by Landon, who kisses the hand and raises it in victory. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COACH Bravo! Bravo! COLE Oh, please. This is sickening. Landon, the Queen and her Hellfire Club continue to lord it over everybody in the ring, with Black happy to have won too, but not one for 'lording it'. Or 'happiness', really. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
