HD: CW vs. Jumbo and Landon vs. Biff

[King Cucaracha 0]

"Sweet Home Chicago" hits and cheerful as ever, the bigman Jumbo struts through the entrance way.

BUFFER
The following contest is set for one fall and is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match. Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois... weighing in at four hundred, fourty pounds... JJJUUUUUUUUMMMMMBBOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Jumbo tags hands down to the ring and makes his way around, the sight of this gigantic man strutting around in his red leather jacket bringing great joy to the people of Saskatoon.

COLE
King Of The Ring Qualifying Match here tonight, with the winner moving on to the eight man, single elimination stage at the Nerdly Spectacular. The bigman Jumbo set for action and it's [i]always[/i] a great time when Jumbo's in the house!

COACH
You know, Jumbo'd be the perfect person to win this tournament.

COLE
(wary)
Why's that?

COACH
Well, he's already used to having everything King-Sized!


[color="#00FF00"]
[b]Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

(Jesus Walks)
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me)
The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now
(Jesus Walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus Walks with me)
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long[/b]
[/color]

Through the thick fog of night, emerges Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo. The God Child soaks up the bile from the audience, and then releases it with one powerful thrust of his arm into the air. Right at that moment green pyro blazes upwards towards the rafters. Looking splendid in a backless yellow gown, Lorelei joins him his side with a bright and bold smile. Together they hook each other's arms and walk down the entrance ramp with heads held high in pride and contempt for the audience.

COACH
Ol' Jumbo's got his work cut out for him tonight.

BUFFER
And the opponent. Now residing in Washington D.C... weighing in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD~! He represents THE ENTERPRISE and is "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHRRRIIIIISSSTTIIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Christian climbs the steps into the ring, showing no intimidation from Jumbo as he enters.

COLE
Christian Wright is still a man of his word, still undefeated in the OAOAST ever since he made his proclaimation to remain so. Now four months without a pinfall or submission against him and I have to admit, I doubted Christian Wright at first. But he has been most impressive.

COACH
It just goes to show what a little dedication and some goal orientation can do for a man. CW is a man at the top of his game, no doubt.


*DINGDINGDING*

The bell sounds, but Christian isn't ready just yet. Taking his time over unbuttoning his dress shirt, The God Child makes his opponent wait for him.

COLE
[i]However[/i], you have to wonder what exactly is going to happen when Christian finally does lose a match.

COACH
He won't. Not so long as the sun may set and the moon may rise and all that jazz.

COLE
Well, impressive or not, I don't see how one man, at 26 years old, can go the rest of their career without a loss against their name. And tonight Christian has got to face a man twice his size. We'll see if this newfound confidence can overcome the size and girth of big Jumbo.

Finally stripped down and ready to go Christian gets into the match and circles his large opponent. They lock up and Wright tries to fight the power head on. However, Jumbo merely throws Wright off. Shaken up by this, Christian calmly walks back to his corner and kneels down to consult with Lorelei over some new strategy.

COLE
Confidence or no confidence, that's not the way to overcome Jumbo.

CW emerges from the corner and locks up with Jumbo again. This time Wright has a plan in mind, kneeing Jumbo in the gut. Wright dishes out a European uppercut. And a second one. Off the ropes, Wright then hits a clothesline. Jumbo doesn't go down after all this, leaving Christian looking a little perplexed. Running the ropes again he delivers a second clothesline, still not enough to do any more than wobble Jumbo a bit. So CW hits the ropes again, only for Jumbo to cut him off and engulf him with a big body attack!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Nor is running into Jumbo and expecting him to budge!

Cover by Jumbo...


1...


2...


Kickout.

Wright quickly rolls away and underneath the bottom rope, trying to collect his thoughts.

COLE
Christian trying to get away, but he's not going to get away for long here.

Reaching over the ropes, Jumbo grabs Wright by the hair and drags him back up onto the apron. However, Christian manages to shrug him off and hangs Jumbo across the top rope!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Wright quickly rolls back in and catches Jumbo from behind with a chopblock!

"OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COACH
Man down!

COLE
Oh man, Jumbo's knee buckled on that shot. And that's a lot of weight coming down on your leg if you land awkwardly.

Cover by Wright...


1...


2...


No.

Wright jumps back up and puts the boots to Jumbo, then focuses on the leg. He drops an elbow to the inside of the knee. And then a second. Trying to apply a figure four, he soon realises Jumbo is the wrong size for that kind of move, so settles for a spinning toehold instead.

COLE
Now Christian going to work on that knee. This is a sounder strategy than the last one. Get this big man down to size.

COACH
See, the man had a great strategy all along and all you could do was criticise from the sideline.

As CW puts the torque on the knee, Jumbo refuses to give up. And after some time being worn away at, he finally aleviates his knee by kicking Wright off with the free leg. Wright is straight back to his feet though. Not letting Jumbo up, he kicks the bigman back down before applying the toehold again. Lorelei applauds from ringside, the only one in the arena enjoying this.

"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"
"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"

WRIGHT
SILENCE!

"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"
"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"
"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"

Irritated by the chants, Wright lets go of the hold and drops an elbow on Jumbo's chest, looking for a pin...


1...


2...


No.

Jumbo hobbles back to his feet and catches CW walking in with a right hand. And another one. Wright goes to the knee with a quick kick though and hobbles Jumbo again. Ducking behind, Wright leaps up and slaps on a Sleeper Hold. With all of Christian's weight on his back Jumbo's knee eventually buckles and he falls down trapped in the hold.

COACH
We're playing the slow game, Michael. Let's hope Jumbo's been doing his cardio and not his carbohydrates.

The crowd get behind Jumbo as they sense him beginning to weaken. Not just yet says Jumbo, wagging his finger. He climbs back up and elbows Christian in the gut, almost forcing his guts out through his mouth!

COLE
Oh, Christian got caught good that time!

With Wright doubled up, Jumbo picks him up and delivers a bodyslam, bad leg and all!

COLE
And are we going to see it already!? Jumbo, looking to end the undefeated streak with a real splash... an XL Splash, to be precise!

Backing into the ropes Jumbo pumps his arm and goes for the XL SPLASH...



...BUT CHRISTIAN ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!!

"OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Nobody home! And maybe it was a little too early for Jumbo after all.

COACH
Eyes bigger than his stomach. Always been Jumbo's problem. Which considering the size of his stomach is quite a large problem.

Jumbo comes up holding his knee after landing and Christian sees an opportunity. He climbs to the middle rope and with Jumbo still down and hurt, comes off with an elbowdrop from the second floor. Cover...


1...


2...


Kickout!

Despite the kickout, Jumbo is still prone. So Wright starts climbing the turnbuckles again.

COLE
Look at this, Christian Wright heading to the top this time. You don't see that often!

Off the top, Christian flies and hits a Frog Splash!! He hooks the leg as best possible, trying to put Jumbo away...


1...



2...



Kickout!

Wright puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head.

COLE
Jumbo kicking out, but that's about all.

COACH
Guess what... he's fallen... and he can't get up!

Climbing the turnbuckles again Christian has the time to reach the top again, with Jumbo still struggling to pick himself back up. Able to roll over and start to reach his feet, Jumbo doesn't make it all the way, as Wright comes off with another Frog Splash, this time aimed at the legs, crashing down on the backs of Jumbo's knees!!

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Jumbo groans in pain and reaches for his leg, but Wright is busy wrapping them up and applying, as best possible on a 440 pound man, a cloverleaf.

COLE
Looking for the Wallstreet Cloverleaf, but can he get it on Jumbo... he can!

COACH
Wow!

Wright manages to lock in the Wallstreet Cloverleaf and sits back, pulling up on Jumbo's legs as much as he's able. At first Jumbo shakes his head no, despite being in clear pain. However after a good ten seconds in the hold and no sign of escaping, Jumbo eventually can take no more and gives up, to a satisfied smile from Lorelei.


*DINGDINGDING*

COLE
Wow is right. Christian Wright advances!

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, advancing to the 2010 King Of The Ring... "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHHRRIIIISSSTTIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRRIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Letting go of the submission Wright raises his hands to the skies as Lorelei rushes around to fetch him a microphone. The referee checks on Jumbo and his injured knee meanwhile, as CW takes the mic.

WRIGHT
From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat!

The crowd boo as the increasingly confident Christian soaks in the grandeur of his latest win.

COACH
And if I'm a betting man, there's your next King of the OAOAST. A King, a God Child, a man to be looking up to.

[King Cucaracha 0]

As we come back to HeldDOWN, we find Biff Atlas, already in the ring, ready for a huge opportunity.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match. In the ring, from Venice Beach, California... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF... AAAAATTLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Biff raises an arm in the air, acknowledging the crowd.

COLE
Biff Atlas... could we soon be calling him "King Biff"?

COACH
No.

"We're running with the Shadows Of The Night
So baby take my hand, you'll be alright
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They'll come true in the end"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

As the powering power ballad "Shadows Of The Night" by Pat Benetar powers through the area, I wonder where I left my thesaurus. But more importantly, Landon Maddix powers through the entrance doors with a grandious stride. Arms out-stretched he does a twirl on the stage, as Megan stands behind, hands on hips.

BUFFER
And his opponent. Being accompanied to the ring by his manager, MEGAN SKYE! From Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... weighing two hundred, eight pounds. He is the leader of CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL and one fourth of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... LLAAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXX!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Landon heads to the ring, stopping to allow Megan up the ring steps before him. Which would be gentlemanly, if it wasn't just so Megan could hold the ropes open as he spins into the ring. Throwing back his hair, Landon holds up his makeshift "8-Man Tag Title" belt with a big grin on his face.

COLE
So this is our final Qualifying Match for next week's King Of The Ring extravaganza, one spot remaining in the tournament. And no doubt, Landon would love to be there. But first he must beat Biff Atlas and whatever you think about Biff, Landon shouldn't be under-estimating him.

COACH
Why not? Is it possible to [i]under[/i]-estimate Biff? Estimating him at all seems like over-estimating, to me.

Handing over his belt and ring jacket to Megan, Landon certainly looks confident as he stands across the ring from Biff.


*DINGDINGDING*

Landon offers to start the match with a handshake, to HOWLS of disapproval from the crowd. Biff doesn't look sure what to do despite the thousands of people yelling at him and decides to take the handshake. Sure enough, his reward is a boot to the gut.

COACH
Haha, the oldest trick in the book, Michael! This is gonna be an easy night for La Cucaracha, I can feel it.

Even Landon can't quite believe Biff fell for that one and he shrugs. Backing Biff into a corner Landon then dishes out a knifedge chop.


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

And a second one. Big smile, Landon takes a moment to turn and perform a very regal looking bow, apparantly in the king's mood already. However when Landon turns back around, Biff surprises him by grabbing and then hurling him high into the turnbuckles!

COACH
Woah!

COLE
I think that one caught Landon a bit by surprise.

Getting his head together, Landon dusts himself off and runs out of the corner, right into a shoulder tackle! Bowled over Maddix rolls underneath the bottom rope and wonders what the heck just happen as Biff is left standing tall in the ring.

COLE
I told you Coach. You take any opponent in the OAOAST too lightly and you're asking for trouble. Especially Biff, who's not been the same Biff we all know and despair of recently.

COACH
Yes he is. Once a loser, always a loser.

Landon takes his time on the outside, talking things over with Megan and making Biff wait. He climbs back into the ring and this time looks for a lock-up. Unable to match power Maddix quickly goes to the gut again, this time with a knee, then hammers away at Biff with forearms. Irish whip is reversed though and Landon runs into another shoulder tackle. This time Landon doesn't go down. But only because the ropes keep him up, propelling him right back into another shoulder tackle which does knock him down. Cover by Biff...


1...


2...


Landon kicks out and scrambles into a corner to get away. Biff is right on him though, clubbing Landon across the chest with a forearm in the corner. And a second.

COLE
Biff really laying it in. The scary thing is, I'm not sure Biff really knows his own power.

COACH
I'm not sure he knows a lot of things.

With the five count long used up, the referee steps in to move Biff back. Biff wants to keep the pressure on though and brushes past the referee, falling into Landon's trap and getting dragged face-first into the middle turnbuckle by the tights! Boos ring out for Landon, as he stomps away on Biff in the corner before he too is backed up by the referee.

COACH
See Biff's strong and all. But so's an ox. And they don't call people "dumb as an ox" for nothing.

As Biff picks himself up in the corner, Maddix runs in and delivers a leaping forearm smash. Biff staggers out of the corner and a simple legsweep puts him on his back for a pinfall attempt...


1...


2...


Kickout.

Landon slaps on a chinlock, nodding his head with a confident smile.

COACH
This is a complete mismatch Michael. I know you're trying to sugarcoat it so people don't change the channel, see what's on Hallmark or whatever, but come on. You've got one of the smartest men in the entire OAOAST against one of the dumbest. It's a no-brainer... and I don't just mean Biff.

Fueled by the crowd, Biff gets back to his feet. An elbow to the midsection rocks Landon. So does a second. But Landon cuts Biff off before he can get any more offence going than that, striking him across the back of the head, then attacking the back of the knees with a couple of kicks. Landon hits the ropes with Biff hobbled. Able to avoid a slam attempt Landon lands on his feet behind Biff and quickly hooks a neckbreaker, dropping Atlas's head into the knee instead of the canvas! Cover...


1...


2...


Kickout!

Letting him sit up, Landon drills Biff in the spine with a hard kick!

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

Hitting another kick, Landon turns around to reminstrate with the fans. Biff gets back to his feet, but Landon doesn't stay distracted long. He whips Biff into the ropes and catches him coming back with a picture-perfect Dropsault, forcing the fans to eat some crow.

COACH
Yeah, who sucks now!?

COLE
I don't think anyone can deny that Landon is a talented individual. It's just that his attitude and his personality sucks.

Landon makes the cover, eventually...


1...


2...


No!

Back to the chinlock Maddix tries to wear Biff down some more.

COLE
And these Saskatchewans now trying to get behind Biff. They seem to be okay with the idea of Biff being their King, Coach.

COACH
Oh please. He'd be the worse King since King Of Queens went off the air.

Biff fights back to his feet again and again makes his escape by going to the breadbasket. Elbowing his way out, Biff turns and hits the ropes. Landon tries to cut him off with a clothesline, but Biff surprises everybody by being quick enough to duck the line, coming off the far ropes and knocking Landon down with a running high knee to the face!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
And Biff scores with the knee! Is this the opening he needs?

With both men down the referee lays a count in.

COACH
Come on Landon. If you lose this, you'll never live it down!

The referee reaches a count of five before both men reach their feet. Shaking off the effects of the knee, Landon balls up his fist, ready to strike. But, Biff blocks and fires back with a right hand of his own! Landon tries again, blocked again and hit with another right hand! Biff starts to unload with rights, but stops to encourage the crowd, opening him up for a desperate knee to the ribs from La Cucaracha to cut him off.

COLE
Biff got a little too caught up in the moment there.

COACH
He's not used to beating people up, cut him some slack.

Looking a little shaken up Landon turns and hits the ropes... and gets PICKED UP IN A GORILLA PRESS!!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

COACH
OH NO!

Freaking out, a screaming Landon is slammed back down to earth by Atlas!

COACH
Oh no! Landon!

Biff plays to the crowd again, this time with Maddix hurting on the mat, which is a little more opportune. Building up a head of steam Biff then waits for Landon to pick himself up on the ropes and comes charging... only for Landon to drop down, sending Biff flying over the top rope and to the outside!!

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
:D

COLE
I don't know how much Landon knew about that, but it was a timely duck out of the way, that's for sure. And Biff looks like he hit hard.

COACH
He flew, Michael! He really does have superpowers!

Landon takes the time to have a breather and clear his head while Biff lies hurt on the arena floor. Eventually he rolls out of the ring and throws Atlas back inside. Landon gives a thumbs up to Megan to show he's okay, then heads back into the ring, via the top rope. Pausing for dramatic purposes, Landon comes off the top with a double axehandle. But doesn't connect, Biff instead catching hold of Landon and delivering a Side Belly To Belly!

COLE
Here it is! Huge upset!


1...



2...



Kickout!

"OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Oh, I thought he had him! Biff Atlas almost pulled off the upset of his life!

COACH
Would you quit being so bias? Out here, cheering for this goof.

COLE
If there's something wrong with routing for the underdog then there's something wrong with this crowd as well.

COACH
Well that's undoubtedly true.

Up first, Biff comes off the ropes and knocks Landon over with a clothesline. Biff then looks around, realises he's actually on the verge of winning and signals for the end, unable to hide his surprise. Wobbly legged, Landon stumbles around into Biff, who grabs the former World Champion and throws him up onto his shoulders!

COLE
He's going for it! Can Biff put Landon away...

No is the answer, Landon firing his elbow into the side of Biff's head until he manages to slip free. Shoving Biff in the back, Landon tries to catch him coming back off the ropes with a Superkick. Biff catches the foot though! Throwing it down Biff then tries to put Maddix up on the shoulder again. But Landon slips free again and with another shove in the back, runs Biff face-first into the turnbuckles. As Biff staggers back, Landon then spins him around and plants him face-first with a quick Complete Shot!!

COLE
Oh... Biff got caught.

COACH
About time his luck ran out.

A dazed Biff tries to get right back up. Which proves his downfall, as he's lined up and SMASHED in the face with a Low Flying Superkick! Unfortunately for Biff he doesn't go down. Instead the superkick brings him up from one knee to his feet. So Maddix quickly hoists him up and delivers another shot to the face, with the GO 2 SLEEP!!

COLE
A devestating one-two combo. Landon Maddix, clinical in the end.


1...



2...



3!!!!

*DINGDINGDING!*

The fans let out a sound of great disappointment, as Biff is finally put down for three. Rolling to his knees, Landon can't hide the look of relief at first, but raises a smile when his hand is raised in victory.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match, advancing to the King Of The Ring Tournament... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Suddenly smug as can be, Landon takes a bow and celebrates his win.

COLE
So Landon Maddix completes the field of eight who will compete in the 2010 King Of The Ring, next week in Edmonton. It will be Landon, Christian Wright, Tim Cash, Colombian Heat, Thunderkid, Denzel Spencer, Christopher Patrick Allen and Baron Windels to crown the OAOAST's first official King and to reign supreme in the land of the OAOAST.

COACH
A pretty good lineup, if you ask me. There's at least... ooh... four men worthy of being kings.

COLE
No prizes for guessing who you think those four are, I suppose. Well whoever comes out on top next week will have to earn it, there's no question about that. A single elimination tournament, a test of attrition, that's next week and what a tournament it promises to be.