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King Cucaracha

HD: LDC vs. J-MAX/Mariachi

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[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3knYqEJ0wY"]"Skills"[/url] by Beatbullyz hits and as the crowd begin to clap along to the beat, the masked figure of J-Max heads out through the entrance. Followed by another masked figure, clad in pink. Wearing his sombrero and poncho, Mariachi does a sexy grind on the stage, while J-MAX heads to the ring trying to play along with his unique partner, without actually... well, "playing [i]with[/i] him".

BUFFER
The following tag team contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, total combined weight, three hundred fifty pounds... the team of "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" J-MMMMAAAAAAAAXXXXX... and, his tag team partner, MMMAAAARRRIIIIIAAAAACCHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

J-MAX vaults into the ring with a springboard moonsault, landing on his feet to a cheer. The two masked men salute the crowd, Mariachi's eyes wandering towards his partner's well-toned body.

COLE
What an exciting tandem this should be. The high-flying J-MAX and the always entertaining Mariachi!

COACH
Always entertaining, you say?

COLE
Yeah. He likes to have fun! And hopefully Mariachi is starting to move on with life without his former partner, in the ring and out, Moracca.

COACH
[i]In the "ring"[/i], you say?

As the masked men limber up, "The World Is Mine" by David Guetta pumps through the arena. And to their eternal embarrassment, out walk the LDC Moneygang, Colin the schoolgirl and Spencer in his Hello Kitty tanktop, skirt and heels.

BUFFER
And their opponents! Representing THE ENTERPRISE... total combined weight, four hundred thirty pounds... SPENCER REIGER and the OAOAST United States Champion COLIN MAGUIRE JR. ... THE L D C MMMOOOOOONNEEEEYYYY - GGAAAAAAAAANNGG!!!!!

No boos. No jeers. That would be great for LDCMG right now. Instead, [i]laughter[/i] fills the arena. Colin looks ready to slaughter somebody while Spencer is mortified. Meanwhile, in the ring, Mariachi's eyes are practically bulging out of his mask and... well, something else may be bulging out of somewhere else, if you know what I mean.

COLE
Somebody pinch Mariachi, let him know he's not dreaming!

As they approach the ring, Spencer attempts to climb onto the apron. The cameraman promptly goes for an UPSKIRT SHOT and Reiger flips his shit at him, the Moneygang chasing the cameraman away!

COLE
:D
Oh, lord!

COACH
This is horrible. Two of the finest wrestlers in our sport, being reduced to this. I mean, for god's sake, Colin is the United States Champion of this company and he's dressed up like a schoolgirl!!

Composing themselves, Colin and Spencer climb to the apron.

And once he gets a good look at them, Mariachi promptly FAINTS and takes a bump!

SPENCER
...that's it, we're outta here!

The LDC Moneygang jump back down off the apron and decide the match isn't worth their time or embarrassment, so head to the back!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

J-MAX isn't going to let that happen though and sprints up the aisle to catch them, ramming the Moneygang's heads together! J-MAX then brings Spencer back to the ring and throws him back inside, allowing the ref to ring the bell.


*DINGDINGDING*

Beginning to stir, Mariachi gets up as Spencer tries his best to stand up without exposing his underwear.

COACH
Behind you, Spencer! Look out, you're wide open! Literally!

Spencer gets to his feet bitching out the referee, before slowly realising that Mariachi is behind him. [i]Close[/i] behind him. Spencer freezes in fear as Mariachi starts playing around with his skirt and whispers something in his ear!

COACH
Oh my God.

Whatever was said, Spencer doesn't appreciate it and wheels around with a right hand. But Mariachi ducks and LIFTS UP SPENCER'S SKIRT!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
AAAHHH!!

COLE
Spencer Reiger just became New York's Finest Flasher!

Freaking out Spencer runs away, coming back off the ropes with a big clothesline. Mariachi ducks the line and sweeps out Spencer's legs. As Spencer tries to roll over and protect his modesty he ends up on all fours and Mariachi jumps on, riding Reiger and shouting "HELLO KITTY!" with some slaps on the ass to get Spencer moving!!

COACH
Somebody stop this. This is awful!

COLE
This is great! Mariachi must feel like all his Christmases have come at once!

Spencer manages to buck Mariachi off of him and having had more than his fill of the embarrassment, tags Colin in. But Colin, understandably, doesn't want to come in. Mariachi waves him on, practically licking his lips.

COLE
Come on in, Colin. Join the fun!

Nervously, Colin steps into the ring and tries a simple lock-up with Mariachi, who scares him off by making kissy-faces.

COACH
I hope Chicks Over Dicks are proud of themselves right now.

COLE
I'm sure they are.

As they go to lock knuckles Colin surprises Mariachi with a boot to the gut, then piefaces him to the mat, angry at being made a fool of. Colin starts obsessing over his schoolgirl outfit though and doesn't notice J-MAX tagging in. As he turns around, Colin is hit with a Springboard Crossbody!


1...


2...


No!

J-MAX hits the ropes, ducking an elbow from Colin and catching him with a Spinning Wheel Kick! Another cover...


1...


2...


No!

Wringing the arm, J-MAX takes control with an armbar, armdragging Colin to the mat with it. Colin trying in vain to close his skirt.

COLE
J-MAX is taking CMJ to school right here!

COACH
(deadpan)
HA HA HA HA HA. Vintage Michael Cole.

Colin gets back to his feet and catches J-MAX with a knee. And a second one. Free of the armbar, Colin then takes J-MAX to the corner and rams him into the turnbuckles. Tag is made and the Moneygang double-team, stomping the masked Brit in the corner and releasing some of their frustrations.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
There ya go. You've gone and made them mad now. Spencer and Colin ain't gonna take this kind of humiliation lying down. Make 'em pay boys!

Dragging J-MAX out of the corner, Spencer scoops and slams him in the middle of the ring. Fuming, Spencer glares over at Mariachi and out at the crowd before he hits his Measured Kneedrop. Cover...


1...


2...


No!

Spencer drags J-MAX up with a hold of the mask again, making another tag. The US Champion dishes out a couple of Irish uppercuts, then whips J-MAX to the ropes and cuts him down with a back elbow. Cover by Colin...


1...


2...


No!

Rear chinlock applied by Colin, he and Spencer trying to ignore the crowd as they start to WOLF-WHISTLE at them!

COLE
The LDC Moneygang trying to focus on the task at hand here, which has to be extremely hard considering they're dressed up in short skirts.

COACH
Exactly! This isn't just humiliation. COD are trying to ruin their livelihood with this stupid stunt.

COLE
Well, it's hard to feel too sorry for them. They did bring it on themselves... and it is kinda funny.

J-MAX gets back to his feet and starts to fight out of the chinlock, ramming elbows into the exposed stomach of CMJ. Once free, J-MAX quickly snapmares Colin over. He comes off the ropes and looks for a basement dropkick, but Colin moves out of the way! First to his feet Colin is then able to hit a quick boot and deliver a DDT, to the concern of Mariachi.

COACH
Here's where COD got it all wrong though. The Moneygang's quality will shine through. Great moves like that are great moves, no matter what you're wearing.

Colin rolls J-MAX over and hooks the leg...


1...


2...


Kickout!

Another tag is made on the LDC side and Spencer comes in, stomping J-MAX down.

COACH
How about we ask J-MAX how humiliating it is to get beat down by a dude wearing a skirt?

Spencer whips J-MAX into a neutral corner of the ring, hard. Angrily adjusting his ill-fitting ladies top Spencer then comes charging in... and runs into a knee! With Reiger staggered, J-MAX quickly hops onto the middle rope and hits a Blockbuster Neckbreaker to the despair of CMJ!

COLE
Oh, SNAP!

Both men are down, but suddenly J-MAX leaps up and makes a diving tag to Mariachi!

"YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Colin comes in to try and cut Mariachi off immediately, but Mariachi ducks his clothesline and starts chopping away at Colin's chest with overhand chops. Another CMJ clothesline is ducked and as he comes back off the ropes, Mariachi is waiting with a BUTT bump to the face! Out rolls Colin, but Spencer is back up and jumps Mariachi from behind.

COLE
Mariachi full of energy, but he needs to keep that wandering eye of his on the man in the ring.

Whipped to the ropes Mariachi ducks underneath a shot from Spencer and tries for a crucifix. But when that doesn't work, he turns it into a sunset flip and pulls The Prodigy down...


1...


2...


NO!

The LDC are getting frustrated now, another wild swing going right over the head of Mariachi. With Spencer off balance Mariachi grabs him in a rear waistlock and hits a PENIS THRUST FROM BEHIND!! More embarrassing than painful, but it does cause Spencer to stumble forward while Mariachi comes off the ropes, catching Spencer turning around with a crossbody!


1...


2...


NO!

COLE
The Moneygang are all over the place here! And what an upset this would be if J-MAX and Mariachi could pull this one off.

Caught with a boot, Spencer is sent into the ropes. Mariachi waits and leaps up, hoping to catch Spencer on the way back with a Frankensteiner... but Spencer counters and FOLDS Mariachi up with a kneeling powerbomb!!

"OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COACH
Great counter!


1...



2...



KICKOUT!

Angry, Spencer turns Mariachi over and rains down right hands to the head until the referee drags him off and warns about the closed fists. Spencer vents back at the ref, giving Mariachi a chance to escape.

COLE
Look out, tag made.

COACH
Turn around Spencer!

When Spencer finally turns around he's left looking up in shock, as J-MAX frontflips off the top and wipes him out with a Springboard Somersault Seated Senton!!


1...



2...



NO!!

Spencer staggers back up and walks right into a jump spinning back kick, right under the jaw! Down he goes, allowing J-MAX to position himself and follow up with a STANDING CORKSCREW MOONSAULT!!

COLE
Whatamove, count him ref!


1...



2...



SAVE BY COLIN!!

COLE
Whoo, how close was that? The LDC Moneygang a split second away from defeat if Colin hadn't been alert.

Colin beats on J-MAX with forearms but the Brit bites back, laying into Colin with a couple of jabs. With Spencer back up J-MAX fends off CMJ with some kicks to the body, then cracks both Spencer and then Colin with a hard kick to the quadracep. Both of the Moneygang are hobbled and J-MAX hits the ropes with both in his crosshairs, only for Colin to step forward and cut J-MAX off, snatching him up for a HARDVARDPLEX!! 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!"

The force rolls J-MAX to his feet for Spencer to follow up with a BRAINBUSTER!!

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Playtime's over, baby!

COLE
What a brutal pair of suplexes.

All fired up the Moneygang start shoving each other in the chest, trying to psych each other up a bit.

COLE
And the Moneygang have suddenly pulled their act together, it seems.

As Spencer runs Mariachi off the apron, Colin uses a short whip on J-MAX to reel him in and hang him across the top rope with the Cambridge Curse!! J-MAX lays hung over the top but is hauled right back off his feet by Colin, who hands him over to Spencer.

COACH
Here we go!

Together, with Colin still holding the legs and Spencer with the head, the LDC Moneygang turn J-MAX over. Colin holds him in a wheelbarrow, while Spencer hooks up the arms. And with a determined look on their faces, the LDC proceed to SPIKE J-MAX on his head with a devestating SPIKE REIGER COUNTER!!! Spencer flips J-MAX over and presses him into the mat while Colin aims a hard boot at Mariachi to send him back to the floor again...


1...



2...



3!!!!

*DINGDINGDING*

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... THE L D C MMMOOOOOONNEEYYYY - GGAAAAAAAAANNGG!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Still seething and breathing heavily, Colin and Spencer have their hands raised in victory as they scowl at the crowd, almost daring them to laugh now.

COLE
This was no walk in the park for the former World Tag Team Champions. They almost, [i]almost[/i] slipped up here tonight. But ultimately, once Colin and Spencer were finally able to get their heads in the game, they did enough to come away with the win.

COACH
With the odds stacked against them. You take away their concentration, forcing them to wrestle in women's clothes. You try and turn them into a laughing stock. Well, The LDC Moneygang are nobody's laughing stocks! And Krista and Alix ain't gonna keep these guys down forever.

Spencer kicks up some dust on J-MAX before he leaves, the Moneygang still worked up over their women's attire as they walk back up the ramp.

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