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Review: NWA 12/28/85.

This should be good, what with the built-up matches for this show and all.   It's the usual hosts, David and Tony.   Dusty Rhodes says he's getting a haircut soon..OK. ___________________   Sam Houston is up against Tony Zane...and this is a boring squash, that ends with a Houston bulldog at 3:40. All Sam Houston squashes are boring. 1/2*. Zane needs to wear a shirt. ___________________   Tully Blanchard's out to talk about 1986 and the TV Title tournament, and I learn that Harley Race was involved. If there is a tape of this tournament, I must have it.   Jim Cornette follows with a promo about how the Midnight Express are going to beat up the Rock n Roll Express, and he rambles on like only Corny could do. Great promo. ___________________   And guess who, it's the Midnight Express vs. Mark Cooper and Josh Stroud. Bobby Eaton and Stroud start, both ME's stomp on Stroud, and Cooper comes in. Corny runs his mouth through half the match, and it's absolutely hilarious. Stroud comes back in, and gets hipblocked by Eaton, and Dennis Condrey comes in with a scoop slam. An elbow follows, and both Eaton and Cooper come in. Eaton dumps Cooper to the outside, and comes off the top rope to the concrete with an elbow to the head of Cooper. Condrey chokes Cooper, and Eaton slams him on the inside. Eaton then comes off the top rope with a kneedrop, and a Condrey lariat finishes at 3:17. Now kids, this is how you squash. *3/4. ___________________   In the next match, we have one half of the National Tag Team Champions (don't ask), Arn Anderson vs. George South. Lockup, Arn just gives this guy nothing the whole match as Arn works on the left arm, a hammerlock slam highlights that. Arn finishes things up out of nowhere with the Gourdbuster at 3:10. *. See, the difference between last week and this week, is that the squashes are short, and entertaining. No bullshit, no Barbarian 5 minute match. ___________________   Ric Flair has something to say about ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE, WHOOOOOOOOO and that NOBODY, NOBODY can beat THE WORLD'S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.   WHOO. ___________________   Rocky King is facing Mac Jeffers next. WTF? These two are practically jobbers. Boring as fuck, to boot. Rocky King finishes with an ugly powerslam, after offense that consisted of another powerlam, and front face lock, at 3:58. 1/4*. ___________________   Before this match, Magnum TA has to say Ric Flair is overrated. I summarized that, btw. O RLY?   Jim Jeffers is facing Black Bart, and they both trade right hands. A Jeffers rollup gets two, and Bart replies with some forearms. A Jeffers crossbody gets two, and there's a TEST OF STRENGTH. Jeffers monkeyflips Bart, and dropkicks him. He follows with an armbar, and Bart slams him in response. Bart tries to slam him again, but Jeffers rolls him up for two. Jeffers gives Bart two dropkicks, but misses the 3rd, and Bart legdrops Jeffers for the pin at 4:40. *1/4, but Black Bart gave Jeffers WAY too much offense. ___________________   Jim Cornette's out again, and his mom sent Tony Schiavone a tie. But Jim likes it so much, he'll keep it for himself. I was able to jot that down, because his mouth was running 100 miles a minute. I couldn't get anything else. ___________________   Now, the last match of the SuperStation Championship Challenge Series, is for the US Title, and it's Magnum TA vs. Ole Anderson. Champ is bolded.   Blow-by-blow: Both lockup, and Ole applies a wristlock on Magnum. He misses an elbow, and they square off and measure each other up. Magnum with some right hands (he does this a lot, we'll call it fighting back), and Ole knees him in the stomach. Magnum's head gets pounded into the turnbuckle, and an Ole bodyslam gets a 2 count. Ole continually applies a crossface (no, not like the murderer) and it gets broken in the ropes, and he does it again, and again. A "Let's go Magnum" chant gets started, as Ole works on the left arm of Magnum. He locks Magnum's arm up, and punches and headbutts it. Magnum fights back and returns the armwork that Ole was giving him earlier. Ole with an eye gouge, but a Magnum slam gets two. Ole with a knee to the head, and Magnum's trapped in the corner. But he fights back, only to be thwarted as Ole pulls Magnum through the turnbuckle spacing, and into the steel ringpost.   commercial break   and we're back, as Ole has applied a front facelock. But ARN ANDERSON is at the ring, and DUSTY RHODES BRUDDA HARD TIMES BRUDDA is there to neutralize any added help that would be given by Arn. Magnum fights back, but Ole ends it with an elbow. Ole goes up, but Magnum hits him with his fist on the way down. A Magnum back elbow gets 2, but Ole gives him a big boot after an irish whip. Ole slams Magnum's head into the mat, but Magnum doesn't quit. Magnum with a backdrop and dropkick for 2, a Magnum small package attempt occurs, but both men are stuck in the ropes. Ole goes back to the eyes, and rams Magnum's head into the turnbuckle. Magnum returns the favor, and does the ten punch count at the turnbuckle. Magnum misses a legdrop, and both men slug it out. Double shoulderblock follows, and these two take their first rest. Magnum headbutts Ole, but it hurts Magnum more than it does Ole. Ole back to the eyes AGAIN, and he follows with a scoop slam. He stomps on Magnum, then whips Magnum into the rope, but Magnum shoulderblocks him twice. Ole then elbowdrops him for two, 2 counts. Ole tries to cheat like Ric Flair on a rollup, but the ref spots it. Magnum dropkicks him and follows with a double axehandle from the top rope for 2, but the bell rings. HOWEVER, Jim Crockett says there must be a winner! Ole leaves, and we go to a commercial break as Ole comes back to the ring. Ole with a scoop slam, and some elbow drops, but he misses the 3rd. Magnum is tripped by Arn Anderson, so Dusty comes over to take care of Arn. As that goes on, Magnum rolls up Ole for the win at around 21:00. Wow.   Match analysis: Does it get better than this, on a televised program? I don't know. I took off 1/2* for the commercial break toward the end of the match (that may not be fair to both guys, but I did it), but this ALONE makes the show worth watching. Both men went at it, and didn't let up. Great match, but it probably would have been even better with 10 more minutes. ***1/2. ___________________   Jim Crockett says that we'll have a special edition of World Championship Wrestling on Friday, February the 7th, on TBS, where the fans pick the 4 matches that will take place on the show. I hope, HOPE that WWE 24/7 shows this, but I doubt it. ___________________   The next match, is for the NWA WORLD'S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, DADDY. It's the champion, NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR, vs. Ronnie Garvin.   Blow-by-blow: The two men shake hands, and they lock up. Garvin with a hiptoss and two flying headscissors, but Flair powers out. Both chop each other, and Garvin gets a shoulderblock. Flair with a hiptoss, but he misses an elbow. Garvin with a hiptoss of his own and a short armscissor, and they chop. Garvin's were harder than Flair's, so Ric bails out to the floor. Flair's "gonna kick your BUTT," so Flair chops him. Garvin with a few right hands and headbutts, then some chops and a roll-up, but it only gets a 2 count. Front facelock by Garvin, but Flair stomps on his arm. Flair with some rights and chops, and Garvin with an eye gouge to counter. A Garvin backdrop and elbow gets a 2 count, and back to the front facelock. The two wrestlers have a war of chops, but Garvin stops that with a headlock. Flair with a right to the chest, and he throws Garvin to the floor. On the floor, Flair rams Garvin's arm into the steel ringpost. Flair with some blows to the chest of Garvin, and   commercial break   we're back, with Flair choking Garvin. Flair mounts Garvin and punches him in the mouth, and chops him. Garvin with some rights, and we have our first Flair Flop. And now Flair gets whipped into the buckle, and we have a Flair Flip, as Flair goes over, and out to the floor. Garvin with somemore hard chops, and a Garvin crossbody block gets two. Flair begs off, but Garvin chops him until Flair pokes him in the eye. Now Flair takes over, as he gives him a back suplex and kneedrop for 2. Flair with some chops, then Garvin blocks his suplex attempt. Garvin gets the suplex, then a sleeper. Flair with a shinbreaker, and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL. If school consists of Garvin headbutts, chops, and a bite of the nose, you're right. Flair chops him some more, and chokes him too. Garvin gets a shoulderblock, and THEN A FIST OF FUCKING STONE TO THE MOUTH, which is followed up with a backdrop. Flair with a headlock takeover and they do the bridge, and backslide out of that spot, with Garvin doing the powering up and backslide, which gets a 2 count. Whew. Garvin hits him with another FIST OF STONE for two, and Flair crotches Garvin along the top rope when he gets up. Flair throws the referee out of the way, and DUSTY RHODES is down at the ring as the bell rings at 15:39, which I will assume is a double DQ. Dusty with the figure-four, but the Andersons attack. This looks as if it'll be a repeat of the angle with Dusty trapped in a cage, but it's not. Babyface wrestlers such as Magnum TA and Sam Houston fight off 3/4ths of the soon to become, Four Horsemen. Ole, Arn and Flair cut a promo afterward, and Flair says he beat Garvin, damnit. He looks possessed, honestly. Like Ken Shamrock, sorta.   Match analysis: Simply put, a great match. Definitely the best televised match of that year (unless there's something I'm missing, and nothing from Starrcade counts). A clean finish would only add to the rating, but as of now, this is the best Ron Garvin match I've seen. Both guys went all-out for 15 minutes, and I appreciated it. **** is the rating, I could only add 1/4* more if the finish were clean. Excellent stuff. ___________________   Italian Stallion is facing Pablo Crenshaw now, and this is a boring squash with Stallion hitting a powerslam to win at 3:10. *, I could have done without that. ___________________   JJ Dillon has a promo in which he really, REALLY foreshadows the formation of the Four Horsemen (but if you didn't know any better, just another group) and he says that HE was the one that paid for Baby Doll to go to Acapulco and leave Tully alone for a while. WELL.   Dusty Rhodes follows that with his own promo, where he destroys the desk of the announcers. He needs room, and he wants Ric Flair now. And if Flair's not going to come and get it, Rhodes is going to bring it to him. And he'll do it now. ___________________   Tully Blanchard vs. Kent Glover is next, and Tully works on the right leg, with a spinning toe hold. David Crockett says there's trouble in the back, so he bails on the broadcast. Back to the spinning toe hold, and a Tully slingshot suplex finishes at 2:12. 3/4*. I'm starting to get used to seeing these jobbers every week, and I'm going to be picking favorites soon. ___________________   That's all.   As for the show...   Rating: Great. Whenever you get two, long, GOOD TV matches such as the two that took place on this show, it's a good TV show. That's the best wrestling TV show I've seen from the 80's, hands down. The two matches in the middle are worth tracking down, if you don't have WWE 24/7.   Best match: Ric Flair vs. Ronnie Garvin. Lots of brawling, but it was great.   Worst match: Sam Houston vs. Tony Zane. A boring squash. ___________________   And that's it, the next thing I post will probably be a review of Halloween Havoc '89, and that'll come on Sunday unless my brother's girlfriend doesn't come over.
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Review: WCW Monday Nitro, 3/31/97, from Roanoke, Virginia.

The NWO have arrived.... ___________________   Anyway, the first match is Lex Luger and The Giant vs. Roadblock and Rick Fuller. Giant chops Fuller HARD early on in the corner, clotheslines him, then tags in Luger. Luger goes up to the 2nd rope, and comes down hard with a double axehandle. Fuller pokes Luger in the eye, and tags in Roadblock. Roadblock with a big avalanche, and some other shitty oldschool offense. Roadblock misses an elbow drop from the 2nd rope, and The Giant is on his way in. Superkick by the Giant (wtf) and then Giant clotheslines both of his opponents. The CHOKESLAM and POWER RACK, OMG finish at 5:00. After the match, Harlem Heat run in and attack Luger and the Giant. There's a 4 way match at Spring Stampede, see. *1/4. Harlem Heat then have an interview, they're the Patriots cause they get no respect, and Sherri says they will divide and conquer on Sunday. Whatever. ___________________   Now there's a women's match that I'm not rating, because the incompetent commentary team didn't tell me who they were. Not only that, I don't rate women's squash matches. A regular match is different. This is part of a "Ladies Cruiserweight Title" tournament, and I can only assume this angle was dropped, because the crowd just doesn't care. ___________________   Villano IV vs. Psychosis is the next match...and both wrestlers do a lucha sequence where they armdrag each other and kip-up. To the chinlock we go, until Villano decides he wants to rana Psychosis. Psychosis with a spinning heel kick to knock Villano to the floor, and he follows that by going up to the top and getting a HUGE corkscrew moonsault, landing on Villano IV, on the floor. Backstage, the NWO is having some problems. Hogan, Hall, Bischoff, DiBiase, and Vincent are at Dennis Rodman's movie premiere. VK Wallstreet is the one with problems...back to the ring, and Villano gives Psychosis a fisherman belly-to-belly suplex. Strange move. He misses a moonsault, and a Psychosis superkick and guillotine legdrop finish at 4:25. *3/4, could have been better. ___________________   RIC FUCKIN' FLAIR is on his way to the ring, for an interview with Mean Gene, and Roddy Piper eventually joins them. Flair wants to go party with Piper, and Piper says ok. Then they leave. That.was.pointless. ___________________   Prince Iaukea vs. LA PARKA is the next match, and it's for Prince's TV Title. La Parka misses a charge toward the turnbuckle, but he comes back with a spinning heel kick. Both guys REALLY blow a springboard moonsault spot, and La Parka could have really hurt Iaukea there. Prince charged in toward the turnbuckle and nearly was met with a flying knee to the top of the head. Idiot. It was his fault, IMO. Anyway, a La Parka senton bomb (senton is no flip, remember) gets a 2 count. A double jump moonsault by La Parka gets the same. Somehow both guys wind up on the outside, and Prince springboards off the ropes with a body press. La Parka has his chair, cause he's chairman of WCW. He sits Prince down in the chair, and does a suicide dive onto him. Prince superkicks La Parka back on the inside, but misses a crossbody. La Parka kicks the chair onto Prince, and then he does some Sabu thing where he uses the chair to springboard and jump into Prince. A Prince crossbody off the top rope out of nowhere gets the pin at around 5:05. Way too many blown spots. 3/4*. ___________________   The next match is Lord Steven Regal vs. Chris Jericho, and prior to the match, Regal has some words for the people out there. Rey Mysterio's a dwarf, and Rey will get the first shot at the TV Title if Regal wins it at Spring Stampede. The crowd chants USA, which makes me laugh for obvious reasons, and Regal begins the bout with some mat wrestling, and a drop toe hold. Jericho clotheslines him, and gives him a spinning heel kick. A springboard dropkick and suplex follows from Jericho, and he's in control. A lionsault from Jericho gets a two count, and Regal gives him a stiff kick to the midsection. Jericho then rolls up Regal at 2:27 for THE WIN! I'm very surprised. *. Regal attacks Jericho post match, he gives him a huge halfnelson suplex off the top turnbuckle. whoa. A piledriver and the Regal Stretch follows, and the Renegade and Joe Gomez come out to help Jericho, but Renegade doesn't want to. What the hell? Gomez gets piledriven, and Lenny Lane and Billy Kidman come out and try to help. But they can't. The beatdown was fun... ___________________   This is hour two...and we find out that VK Wallstreet is leaving...and there's another women's match I'm not reviewing or rating. Akira Hokuto is in this one, and post-match, Hokuto attacks Madusa. Following that, there's a video package highlighting the past of Sting. And this package shows how far behind WCW is compared to WWE in this sense. ___________________   The next match is the Amazing French Canadians w/Col. Robert Parker vs. Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael w/Debra. OH CANADA, OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND. Sorry. This match really, really sucks. Mongo chopblocks the AFC's, and Public Enemy hits the ring. They try to take the Haliburton briefcase, but Robert Parker winds up with it, and he tosses it in to Jacques Rougeau, who hits Mongo with it for the win at 3:00. Just, no. DUD. Mean Gene comes to the ring, and Mongo wants to know why Jeff has the briefcase. He thinks Jeff was the one that hit him with it. ___________________   DDP is facing off against a guy my brother said was named Lance Ringo..and it ends quick with a DIAMOND CUTTER out of a firemans carry position. It kinda looked like an F-5. 1:43 is the time, and 1/2* is the rating. Randy Savage is in the crowd with a mic, and he says he finally found out what DDP's name was. But he's still wonderin' if DDP has family jewels. Oh, you. ___________________   The last match is The Steiner Brothers vs. High Voltage. I love the Steiners music. STEINERLINE! It's so overly corny. Scott starts with a pumphandle slam, and Rick comes in with a STEINERLINE. RUFF, RUFF, RUFF (just doin' the Rick thing). Rick with a release German suplex, and Rage rams Rick's head into the ringpost. Rick has a problem with his head, see, so he's hurt. A Kaos neckbreaker follows, and Rage comes in and misses a springboard rolling senton. He almost jumped all the way out of the ring, lol. Scott's in, an overhead belly-to-belly, press slam and the STEINER SCREWDRIVER finishes at 3:30. I love that move, so the match gets * as a result. ___________________   The NWO invade the broadcast table now, and Nash will fight WCW by himself if the other NWO members don't want to show up.   End of show ___________________   That sucked. Sucked dick. From now on, I'm not going to give Nitro a full review unless there's something important, like a title change, or important match or angle. There was literally nothing here except for some matches. NOTHING. It's a waste of my time to type all this up unless there's something worth doing so, for. Here's what it'll look like next time if nothing good happens.   Steiners vs. High Voltage: *, good Steiner Scredriver in there led to a Steiners win   DDP vs. Lance Ringo: 1/2*, inventive Diamond Cutter...   ___________________   Yeah, like that. Hopefully, I don't have to, because I want to be entertained and given something worth watching.   Rating: Bad.   Best match: Lord Steven Regal vs. Chris Jericho: the one time on the show something good happened.   Worst match: Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael vs. The Amazing French Canadians.   Until next time...
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Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 3/31/97, from Peoria, Illinois.

We all know which episode this is, and I'm looking forward to it...   ___________________     We start things off with a European Title match, and it's the challenger, Owen Hart, facing off against the champion, The British Bulldog.   Prematch: Owen always has his Slammy's, of course. This match came about because of the two participants pull-apart last week on RAW.   Blow-by-blow: Once Bulldog gets near the ring, Owen baseball slides into him. Owen beats Bulldog up on the outside, and claims that the European Title is HIS BELT. Owen tosses Bulldog in, then hits him with a springboard crossbody for a 2 count. Owen then hits Bulldog with a low blow and some mounted punches, and he follows that with a whip into the turnbuckle and clothesline for a 2 count. Chinlock time, and when Bulldog powers out, he gets kneed in the midsection off a whip. Owen goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but that's not happenin'. Back to the Owen chinlock, but a Bulldog rollup gets a 2 count. Then a Bulldog backslide gets two, and Owen ends Davey's run with a standing dropkick and piledriver. Now we go to a   commercial break   and as we come back, we see that Owen landed an elbow drop from the top rope during the break, and nearly won the match and title. An Owen suplex gets a 2 count, and back to the chinlock again. Up to the top, but Owen misses a dropkick. BULLDOG goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Owen delivers an enziguri to the back of the head. The match is really starting to pick up. Owen backflips off the top after Bulldog fights off a superplex attempt, and Owen knocks Bulldog out of the ring. On the floor, Bulldog catches Owen after Owen attempts to deliver a plancha. Bulldog slams him into the guardrail, and clotheslines him twice. Then, Bulldog slingshots Owen into the turnbuckle and gets a 2 count on the cover. A really bad blown backdrop by Bulldog nearly ends up with Owen landing on his head, but they repeat the spot, then Owen gets dumped. Bulldog suplex Owen on the steel entranceway ramp, and back in the ring, press slams Owen for a 2 count. Ref bump after an Owen leapfrog over a charging Bulldog, and that's the last we see of him. Owen goes out to grab a chair, but Bret Hart comes down the aisle, to keep him from using it. Bret grabs a microphone, and he wants to know where their family values have gone. Bret tells them they're doing what "these Americans" want them to do. He also says that the US loves to turn families against each other. And they group hug, as the Hart Foundation forms. How sweet. Match ran about 13 minutes...   Match analysis: Well, the match was solid, but that wasn't the point. IT's all about the angle, brudda. And you know what, it worked well. The whole segment is a **** segment. The match is **3/4, and the 1/4 is subtracted because of the blown backdrop that could have killed Owen. ___________________   Sunny comes down to the ring for guest commentary...and it's for a match between El Mosco and Super Nova.   The match is sorta drab, but Sunny's commentary where she generally acts like a whore is funny. I like how she calls JR fat, using Spanish. Nothing really to see here, a blown spot or two, and Mosco finishes with a springboard moonsault at 3:53. *1/4. Spare me. To be honest, almost every AAA match that the WWF imported sucked. ___________________   LOD has an interview in the ring where they tell the Harts they shouldn't disrespect the USA. But, the interview was so bad that I couldn't wait for them to finish. It's about their title match against Owen and Bulldog at IYH: Revenge of the Taker. ___________________   Wow. It's Jesse Jammes vs. an unnamed Jobber. His name is Jerry Fox, apparently.   Jesse's singing, and it, along with his theme and ring attire, are awful. AWFUL. That's gotta be embarrasing to do that, and he looks nothing like the man he would soon become. It's a squash, Jammes atomic drops Fox, clotheslines him from the ring apron, and finishes with the Pumphandle Slam at 1:37. 1/4*. Honky likes him and gives Jesse the guitar, but Jesse destroys it. He says the guitar is "out of tune." Keep that shit off my television. ___________________   The NATION OF DOMINATION comes out, and it's Savio Vega and Crush vs. two unnamed jobbers. And this time, I'm not looking it up. When they disposed of squashes on RAW, the world reaped the benefits. Shawn's on the phone to speak his mind, as Crush gives one of the guys a double backbreaker, and then he tosses him over his head. Big back suplex by Crush, then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker follows. And we finish with Demolition Decapitation at 3:16. 1/2*. Waste of time. ___________________   A Ken Shamrock vignette follows, as he has an exhibition next week against an unnamed opponent. ___________________   And it's hour TWO. Paul Bearer has something to say, and his entrance music is African-ish. He wants The Undertaker to take him back. Well, The Undertaker comes out to the ring, and locks the casket set-up at ringside to make sure there's no surprises. Taker says he may be able to forgive Paul, but he'll never be able to forget. He hands Paul Bearer the WWF Title, but then punches Paul's lights out. Taker grabs the urn off the casket, but Mankind comes out from under the ring and lights a fireball near Taker's eye. TAKER CAN'T SEE BAH GAWD, and SID comes out to chase Mankind backstage. My initial reaction to that was, WTF?   Back from a commercial break, and Sid tells Mankind that he's going to burn in hell. OK. ___________________   Now, there are no managers allowed, for the Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust match.   Prematch: No usual Goldust entrance, he only has his wig on. He runs to the ring, and here we go.   Blow-by-blow: Goldust pounds on HHH (fuck Helmsley, it's HHH), HHH does his upside down thing after getting whipped into the buckle, and then he does that Harley race thing where he flies out of the ring after being whipped into the buckle. He perfected it later on when he did it so his face would always hit the guardrail. Back in, and Goldust bumps into HHH with his ass. He misses a crossbody, so HHH takes over for a while. H slams him on the ramp, then goes inside the ring and does that gay courtsey thing. When both men are back in, HHH hits Goldy with a high knee. He chokes Goldust with his boot, and gives him a swinging neckbreaker for a 2 count. A suplex and kneedrop get another 2 count. To the chinlock, until a Goldust crossbody gets a 2 count. This match is pretty slow. A HHH DDT gets a 2 count, and they trade rights until Goldust is dumped by HHH. Chyna's at the stage, and at the same time that we notice him, uh.....er, her, HHH dives to the outside off the 2nd turnbuckle.   commercial break   and we come back with news that Sid will be facing Mankind next week. Does not happen. Anyway, Chyna makes her way to the ring, as Goldust gives HHH the Curtain Call. She beats up some officials, and HHH starts fighting with Pat Patterson. Patterson's giving it to him, and then Chyna beats him up. Goldust and Chyna stare off, and that's it for that. 9:51 is the time, of the cut match.   Match analysis: A decent match, but this feud dragged on way too long. At this point, they'd been feuding for the whole year. Could have been better, cause this was slow. *1/2. I really like Goldust, and I like some of the work that HHH did later on. ___________________   Stone Cold Steve Austin comes to the ring, and Vince is in the squared circle conducting the interview. He calls Ken Shamrock deaf, says that Bret Hart couldn't do a damn thing to him, and that Bret's a piece of trash. Steve's not changin' for anyone, and all he wants to do is whip some ass. Bret comes out on the Titantron, and he says he already beat Stone Cold's ass, and Bret says he's done with Steve Austin. Steve calls Bret a piece of crap, and Bret storms off. ___________________ In the main event, we have an INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE bout, the challenger is Bret "The Hitman" Hart, and the champion is Rocky Miavia.   Prematch: An announcement is made before this match that Bret Hart will be facing Sid at Revenge of the Taker. Again, no. Does not happen. This is the low point of the Intercontinental Title, IMO. Rocky is not over, and this match has absolutely no heat.   Blow-by-blow: The two wrestlers lock up, and Bret takes Rocky over with a headlock. Tony Atlas is in the crowd, hey guy! Bret grabs Rocky's arm and works it over, then a Rocky crossbody gets a 2 count. Both men kip-up after headlock takeovers, and Bret delivers a knee to the midsection of Rocky. Boot to the midsection by Bret, and he rakes Rocky's eyes across the ropes. An inverted atomic drop and clothesline follow, and then we have a Bret Hart russian legsweep. Now we go to a   commercial break   and we come back to an image of Bret headbutting Rocky in the back. Then in the head. Bret with a backbreaker after a back suplex, but he misses his usual 2nd rope elbow. Rocky with a few right hands, and a fisherman's suplex of his gets two. Whoa. Where did that move come from, and why didn't he use it later in his career. A belly-to-belly suplex by Rocky gets two, and his swinging DDT puts Bret out long enough for Rocky to climb up to the top rope. Bret rolls through his flying body press and gets two, and Bret then applies the ringpost figure-four. Unfortunately, he gets disqualified. So Rocky wins the match, and retains his title, at 10:31. Bret won't let go, so Austin comes down to MAKE him let go. Too bad for him though, Owen Hart and the British Bulldog attack him, but the Legion of Doom chase the Hart Foundation into the crowd. End of that, and the end of the show.   Match analysis:Good, old school wrestling match. But even I can't deny that the match was hurt by the lack of heat. I liked it, though. I don't know how much of it was a carryjob, it was really good from all sides. Also a nice way to end the show, too. **1/2 for the match, even though I feel like going a little higher.   ___________________   As for a show rating, on this (Great, good, above-average, decent, poor, bad, absolutely terrible) scale, it's a GOOD show. Almost great, but it dragged. Any TV show with two 10 minute long, almost *** matches is good, IMO.   Rating: Good   Best Match: Owen v. Bulldog   Worst Match: Jesse Jammes vs. Jerry Fox   ___________________   To note, star ratings aren't everything when it comes to Worst and Best matches on a TV show. Other things come into factor.   'Til next time...
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Review: Undertaker DVD, Part 4.

Now, the DVD set moves into the heart of the Attitude Era. I don't mind that, as it's a time period I enjoy. Most people say that a person's favorite wrestling period is the one they grew up on. I don't necessarily disagree, even though late-80's NWA is my favorite, this is right behind. I don't give a damn how many people look back and think it sucks. If you disagree, comment and we can discuss it.   And since the Kings won, I'm doing this tonight. Otherwise, I wouldn't work on it until tomorrow.   ___________________   From IYH: Unforgiven in 1998, we have The Undertaker v. Kane w/Paul Bearer in an Inferno Match.   Prematch: This is the end of the UT/Kane feud until they come full-circle with partners they each don't trust, and then they decide to team up themselves. Rinse and repeat about 10 times, and you have Kane's career. The inferno visuals are cool, they kept the flame low so everyone could see.   Blow-by-blow: They trade punches (and I had the feeling I'd be saying that a lot...), until UT avalanches Kane in the corner. Kane's in this phase where he sells nothing, from nobody, so that's what he does. It's even worse than when Taker does it. UT goes up for OLD SCHOOL and the fire blaze gets really high, almost to the knee of UT as he's standing on the ropes. Kane just drops him on the turnbuckle, and hits him with some rights. Whip hard to buckle, rinse and repeat 3 or 4 times. Kane powerslams UT and they both try to smother each other, until Bearer tosses a chair into the ring. Kane hits UT with the chair, and then the camera pans to Bearer wiping the sweat off his face. Yeah, I'm sure those flames are hot. Kane pushes UT toward the flame AND BAH GAWD HE'S GONNA PUT HIS ASS ON FIRE, but Taker finds his way away from it. Taker gives him a russian leg sweep and a legdrop. CHOKESLAM, CHOKESLAM STRAIGHT TO HELL by Kane, so logically, Taker must return the favor. Then, both guys give each other a big boot. It looked weird. Undertaker misses his running, flying clothesline, and he almost flies too far and into the flames. That was close. Kane sideslams Taker and goes up to the top rope, but UT crotches him on the turnbuckle, then superplexes him. Kane gets tossed out over the top rope, but the flames don't get him. OK. What's the point of the match then. As Kane walks towards the back, Vader makes his first televised appearance since No Way Out of Texas, and gives Kane a piece of his mind. The two wrestlers get a little closer to the ring, and UT FLIES over the top rope with a tope, knocking both men down. Taker chases Bearer onto a stage set-up on the side, and puts a drum through Bearer's head after Bearer gives him a WEAK ASS chairshot. Bearer does a blade-job, and back at the ring, Undertaker knocks Kane into the fire after Kane CLEARLY put on a flame-retardant sleeve or something, and that's it. HE'S ON FIRE, OH MAH GAWD. The bell rings at 16:01.   Match analysis: It was weird. Really weird. Not negative star worthy or anything, but the booking was bizarre. The guys never should have left the ring, but then again, Kane would never have been able to put on the flame-retardant sleeve. It's not BAD though, like one would expect. The gimmick (and other reviews out there) tends to have people thinking the match is dogshit. *.   ___________________   From King of the Ring 1998, it's Mankind vs. The Undertaker, in Hell in a Cell.   Prematch: We all know what happens here. UT limps out and climbs the cell. Nothing else sticks out except for the sheer number of lighters while the lights are turned out. Goodness.   Blow-by-blow: Undertaker goes up the Cell, takes a few chairshots and throws Mick off the Cell. The bump still holds up to this day, and it will hold up forever. Two shittier workers, and nobody would have given a fuck. But because it was these two guys, because the Undertaker character was going in a darker direction, and because Mick Foley was supposed to be a sick sonofabitch, it worked. Moving on from that, I like seeing Hugo Savinovich of the Spanish announce team sprawled out after the giant throw off the Cell. It always makes me laugh. Terry Funk, Sgt. Slaughter and Vince McMahon make their way out, he does a stretcher job, BUT HE AIN'T DONE, BAH GAWD, HE'S CRAZY, HE'S SICK!   Stop here. Nothing tops this. I would have loved to seen Mick return the favor, and that would have been the perfect way to end the match, IMO.   They both re-climb the Cell, and Undertaker headbutts Mick. That's a strange thing to see Taker do. Then Taker chokeslams Mick through the Cell. This bump is more impressive than the first, I think. Once UT struggles to get through the hole in the Cell, he chokeslams Terry Funk out of his shoes. Legit LOL there, from both my brother, my father and I. Like I said, I don't watch these alone. This channel brings back good, old memories. Taker punches Mick, and Mick falls down in a heap. It's almost funny, in a sick way. Then the infamous clip of Foley's tooth in his nose follows, and he SAYS that he was trying to stick his tongue through a hole in his lip, but his beard kept everyone from seeing it. For some reason, I'm not so sure about that one. Taker goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but Mick knocks him off. Taker grabs the stairs because Mick can't hold them, so they improvise and Taker launches the stairs into Mick's injured shoulder. Geez, dude. Watch out. Taker then flies into the cell, and you can see the guy scraping his blade up toward his face, trying to get his face to cut. Business exposure, kids. Learn to love it, learn to live with it, DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, AND SO ARE THE FOUR HORSEMEN. Sorry. Back in the ring...Mick piledrives Taker onto a chair for two. I'm calling him Mick because his mask is gone, see. A legdrop onto Taker as a chair is draped over Taker's face gets 2, then Mick gives him an ugly looking double arm DDT. He goes under the ring...and we have TACKS. OH MY GAWD, TACKS, TACKS, HE'S SICK...but Mick gives UT FINGERS IN THE MOUTH a MANDIBLE CLAW instead. UT lifts Mick on his back, and then drops him onto a small portion of the TACKS. But Mick ROLLS IN THEM. A chokeslam on the tacks gets most of them stuck to Mick's back, and then Mick gets TOMBSTONE'D for the finish at 17:38.   Match analysis:   1. Both bumps off the top of the Cell were nuts.   2. Most people deride the match because they think all it was, was two big bumps and some thumbtacks.   No.   Fuck those people. The match told a story. A story about two sick motherfuckers that would do anything to win. The only thing that irks me, is that they weren't trying to win anything in particular. Except for pride. And with the history of these two, that's all it takes. I'm stuck in the middle about how I really feel about this match. I've watched it about 10 times including the live airing, I have it on DVD, and my opinion still hasn't changed. So my rating shall be in the middle, as well. **1/2. It isn't the best one of these matches, but it's memorable, and with damn good reason.   ___________________   From King of the Ring 1999, it's a World Wrestling Federation Championship match, with the challenger being The Rock, and the Champion being The Undertaker. Undertaker is accompanied by Paul Bearer...   Prematch: Undertaker is just sick at this point, I'll leave it at that. Yes, this is the PPV where Billy Gunn wins the King of the Ring. No, I haven't seen the whole PPV, or this match. I made a point not to order any WWF PPV's post WM XV until Royal Rumble 2000, and I haven't seen a single one in between, although I watched RAW all the time. My parents felt that ripped off by WM XV, and I didn't disagree. Instead, we ordered WCW PPV's.   Yeah.   Blow-by-blow: Ref bump quick and early before anything starts, and if history is any indication, it should be good. Remember Ground Zero 1997? Unfortunately, when Vince Russo's booking, both logic and history is thrown in the garbage. This match was 3rd from last at this PPV, Billy Gunn's KotR win and a shitty Austin ladder match followed. Anyway, ROCK BOTTOM, HE JUST HIT ROCK BOTTOM, but there's no ref. The new one gets to the ring, and Bearer pulls him out while he was making the count. Fuck. Overbooking at the start? I'm used to that at the finish. Bearer punches the new ref to the ground, and a UT chokeslam gets 2. This match is going in reverse. Rocky clotheslines Taker to gain control, and does his spit punch to finish the combination. This guy was, and is, GOLD. He throws UT out of the ring, and now we brawl. They beat each other up near the stage, and on the way back toward the ring, Taker suplexes Rocky in the entranceway. Back in, and an Undertaker cover gets a 1 count. Armwringer and OLD SCHOOL follows, but nope, Taker's nuts must suffer after being crotched along the top rope. Rocky has a water bottle, and he takes a swig and spits it out at Taker. He's still getting the catchphrases down, and stuff. Into the crowd we go, and Rocky pours beer on Taker. Back near the announce table after some shitty brawling, and Rocky rams the face of Taker into the ringbell. Taker grabs the bell, and Rocky has a chair, and the weapons meet. Who the fuck came up with that idea. The visual is terrible, and accomplishes nothing other than that hitting a bell with a chair hurt Rocky. Bearer then hits Rocky with his shoe. Uh. Lots of Taker punches, and his running DDT gets 2. To the chinlock we go, then Rocky powers out and gives Taker a samoan drop for 2. Double clothesline follows, and Rocky's up first. A Taker TOMBSTONE attempt leads to a Rocky counter, as Rocky DDT's him. Ref bump after a whip and collision, and we HAVE THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW. THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW PAD COMES OFF, AND HE DROPS THE FUCKING ELBOW for no count, as there isn't a ref to do so. Taker gives Rock a nutshot, and Bearer has a rag. He soaks it with ETHER. AND BAH GAWD, IT SMELLS LIKE ETHER. This shit is so fucking stupid, I remember when Taker was going to embalm Steve Austin alive and that sort of booking really reminds me of it. Maybe because it's done by the same guy, I dunno. Well, actually, I do. Rocky steals the rag after a clothesline, and smothers Undertaker with it. But Triple H HAS to come to the ring, and he HAS to PEDIGREE Rocky, and JR has to call him a lousy, no good son of a bitch, and we have to have a run-in, and just fuck it I want this to be over. Taker somehow gets his finger on Rocky as both are out, but Rocky kicks out at 2. Taker gets up first, and TOMBSTONE'S Rocky for the win at 19:47. HHH came out because he's in the Corporate Ministry, ya know?   Match analysis: It's a really shitty, really overbooked title match. My initial rating while watching it was *1/2, but after thinking about it, there's really no way I can go that high. The brawling sucked. The booking sucked. The promos before this match on RAW sucked (yes, I do remember. Learning tree yourself, bitch.). Just the overall writing of the company sucked, but damn, I look on it fondly. The match is 1/2*, and I can't possibly watch it again. If you can't book a 20 minute straight wrestling match ONCE in your ENTIRE fucking life, chances are you're on the wrong business. And you show me a match that Russo booked all by himself that went more than 20 minutes, without run-ins, ref bumps, ether soaked rags, human torches, graveyards, celebrity world champions, a tazer, a heel turn, a "shoot", "blood" coming out of the ceiling, partners that hate each other, tits and ass, or any other shitty gimmick out there...   and I'll show you Michael Jordan. Seriously, if anyone can find a straight, non-gimmicked, Russo booked wrestling match with none of the things I mentioned, I'll review it. I don't think such a thing exists. To be truthful, in this case, Undertaker carried the match. I'm not shittin'. I don't know if this match, with this booking, could have been any better.   ___________________   And that's it. I don't know what I'll do next, but I'll have something done tomorrow. I sure would like to see some comments after some of the statements I've made...   This part of the DVD is worth a watch, if you haven't seen the Inferno match. But if you want to watch it until the end, please take caution. And try to laugh, as often as possible.
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Review: Undertaker DVD, Part 3.

Ok, before I start, I'll throw out a few snowflakes for the matches in the first two parts of the DVD.   SPOILERS     The Undertaker beat Hulk Hogan, from Survivor Series 1991: 1/2*. Junk.   Yokozuna beat The Undertaker in a casket match, from Royal Rumble 1994: Complete and utter trash. -***** for the whole thing, just -****1/2 for the actual match. Having all those guys come in the match gave a reason for UT's long hiatus. That was the first wrestling match I watched. Yeah, no shit. So how did I become a wrestling fan? The tape I got from the video store was at this spot when I started watching. I didn't rewind it, I could only watch one match before I went to sleep, and I didn't have time.   The Undertaker beat Diesel, from WM 12: It's ok. **3/4.   The Undertaker beat Mankind in a Buried Alive match, from guess what, IYH: Buried Alive: Solid match, the entire spectacle was shitty. It took forever to bury "Undertaker" to the point where they could go to the finish of the show. ***.   And then they fought again, at Revenge of the Taker: I thought that was much better. ***1/2.   Bret Hart beat The Undertaker, from SSlam 97: Good wrestling match, but real long. ***1/4.   And now, to the review.   ___________________   From In Your House: Ground Zero, it's The Undertaker v. Shawn Michaels.   Prematch: They're having this match because of the incident at Summerslam where HBK hit UT with a steel chair, costing UT his title. We all know what this feud leads to.   Blow-by-blow: I started timing way before the bell rang, because I feel that was the time that should be recorded. Once UT gets in the ring, he punches the ref. So the bell doesn't ring for 5 more minutes. Slaughter tells HBK to get back in the ring, because HBK's scared shitless of The Undertaker. Undertaker tosses the ref out of the ring, and onto HBK. HBK runs like hell, and tries to break down the door of the House setup the WWF had going for these shows. UT press slams him onto the stage, then punches HBK, and HBK bumps the whole way down the ramp, back toward the ring. I'm sure that hurt. UT throws Shawn into the stairs, chokes him with a microphone cord, and slams him over the guardrail. We go back in the ring, and UT clotheslines Shawn. There's no referee to count the pinfall, so UT picks Shawn up. Then he whips Shawn into the buckle, and Shawn goes upside down. NOW we have a ref, it's Earl Hebner btw, and Shawn asks him to disqualify the Undertaker. Shawn cuts out UT's left knee, and the bell finally rings. UT tries a chokeslam but gets a boot to the midsection, then Shawn tries an axhandle from the top and misses. He then gets dumped, but on his way back in, he tries a sunset flip that he can't finish. UT picks him up from the ground, chokes him, and then throws him. UT then puts Shawn in position to do that spot where Shawn launches himself into the air, and lands on the top rope, crotching himself. Shawn does that, then gets clotheslined by UT. UT goes for OLD SCHOOL, but gets crotched along the top rope. UT winds up on the outside, and Shawn baseball slides into him. Shawn attempts a plancha, but is caught by UT and slammed into the ringpost. UT punches Shawn in the nuts, and backdrops Shawn for a 2 count. Shawn finally gets some offense with a swinging neckbreaker, but UT sits up. Shawn puts his running boots on, and grabs a chair. He's not able to hit Undertaker, though, and UT grabs the chair. Hebner grabs the chair, and Shawn dropkicks UT into Hebner. Shawn goes up, and does his elbowdrop off the top twice. Rick Rude comes out and tosses Shawn some brass knuckles, and coldcocks Undertaker. Once a new referee comes to the ring, the cover gets a 2 count. The new referee gets punched out, and HHH and Chyna have made their way to the ring. HH beats up UT, and Shawn takes care of Hebner, as he comes to. Someone in the crowd heckles HHH, so he tells them to suck it. Crotch chop, motherfucker. Under Shawn's eye is a cut, and it looks to have came the hardway, when he came off the top rope to the floor to hit UT. Shawn misses SWEET CHIN MUSIC BAH GAWD after a TOMBSTONE reversal, and then UT beats him up and grabs the brass knuckles out of Shawn's pants. He hits Shawn and HHH with them, and covers Shawn, but the referee is too tired to make the count fast enough for UT to win. UT chokeslams Hebner, then Tim White comes down to the ring at 21:58 (my time, which is far different than the other ones out there) and rings the bell. No contest. That's the 4th ref to make an appearance during the match.   After that, HHH gets chokeslammed into Shawn, but Shawn hits UT with SWEET CHIN MUSIC. UT gets tied in the ropes, and Shawn runs and tries to hit him with a chair. But UT kicks the chair into his face, see. Shawn gives SWEET CHIN MUSIC to all of the officials that make their way to ringside in an attempt to break this up, and during the process, UT TOMBSTONES HHH. Now wrestlers from the back make their way out to stop things, with Rocky Maivia among them. He's wearing an ugly ass shirt. A huge UT tope onto everyone on the outside, including Shawn, and DX leaves ringside. And that's it.   Match analysis: I've never seen this match before. It's terrific, and sets up the following month's Hell in a Cell perfectly. Just awesome. ****1/4. It's a must watch, and the best WWF brawl up to that point. It might sound overbooked, but it's not. It's brilliant.   ___________________   I'm skipping UT/Shawn from Badd Blood, cause they're posting the entire event this week. I took notes, and I'm going to put the match review on the Badd Blood review. ___________________   From Wrestlemania XIV, it's The Undertaker vs. Kane w/Paul Bearer.   Prematch: The WWE put in the prematch video package, which I feel is the best one WWE has done to this date. It recapped the feud perfectly, and got me excited for the match the first time I saw it. The druids appear during the entrance for UT, but the part where Kane tombstoned Pete Rose was cut out. Too bad, I really like it.   Blow-by-blow: Staredown to start, and Undertaker throws the first blow. Kane elbows UT, then tosses him into the turnbuckle. UT does the same, and then we have a UT big boot. Kane clotheslines him, and puts him in tree of woe position at the turnbuckle. Kane then suplexes UT across the ropes, and clotheslines him from the top rope in order to dump UT to the outside. Kane chokes him on the inside, and gives him some high knees to the midsection. UT climbs up Kane's shoulders, but Kane drops him. We go to the outside, and Kane beats up UT pretty bad. Stairs to the midsection, and we go back in on a Kane suplex. A Kane chokeslam gets 2 after Kane picks UT up off the canvas, so we go to the chinlock. Kane works around that for a while, which is nice, a straight out chinlock for 5 minutes is boring as fuck and a crutch for shitty workers. An Undertaker big boot gets Kane to the floor, and Undertaker FLIES to the outside with a tope, but misses and goes through a table. Not as impressive as it once used to be, I hate to say. The bump doesn't hold up. Back inside, and Kane clotheslines Undertaker after jumping off the top rope. They trade right hands, and a Kane TOMBSTONE gets 2. No-sold afterward by UT, and then UT clotheslines him to put Kane down for the first time in the match. UT chokeslams Kane, and Paul Bearer says, "DAMN YOU UNDERTAKER, DAMN YOU TO HELL." Pretty weird moment, but I enjoyed it. Evil Paul is cool. An Undertaker TOMBSTONE gets two, a legdrop follows, and Kane sits up. UT TOMBSTONE again, and it gets 2. Then UT goes up to the top, hits Kane with a flying clothesline, and TOMBSTONES him for the pin at 16:58. Kane and Bearer lay UT out after the match, and that's it.     Match analysis: It's just a decent match. The crowd wasn't very into it, and I attribute that to three things.   1. The Dusty Finish of the Rock/Shamrock match. The crowd went nuts for Shamrock winning the IC title, but they were sorta dead until the main.   2. The tag title match before this one finished backstage, and there was no giant Titantron to watch the ending on. Just the video screens on the scoreboard.   3. Position on the card. It was right before the main, and this match probably should have been right after the mixed tag, when the crowd was hot. But good luck getting UT to go down the card, even though it was the right thing to do.   I gave the match ***, had there been more heat for the match, the rating would have been higher. I DO punish matches that don't have crowd heat, with a few exceptions. If you don't have heat, something's wrong. ___________________   This part of the DVD is a must watch. I'll do the next part tomorrow.
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Review: WWF from Madison Square Garden, 2/23/92.

Back to the PPV-ish review system we go...     Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary.   ___________________   The first match, is The Berzerker vs. Jim Brunzell.   Prematch: Huss, huss, huss, huss, huss, huss...and Brunzell looks strange not being a part of the Killer Bees.   Blow-by-blow: Brunzell gives Berzerker a monkeyflip and an atomic drop, then Berzerker counters with a boot to the head. Berzerker chop, jumping boot (weird move), and then The Berzerker pushes Brunzell into the steel post on the outside. Berzerker peels back the padding and slams Brunzell on the concrete, and tosses him back in the ring afterward. He keeps tossing Brunzell out, then we go to some restholds. Once we get out of that, Berzerker hits Jim with a HUGE shoulderblock for a 2 count. Brunzell then bites Berzerker, and mongolian chops him. I hate that move. Brunzell hits Berzerker with his signature dropkick for 2, then comes off the ropes with a crossbody attempt, but gets hit with a Berzerker fall-down slam for the pinfall at 8:42.   Match analysis: Just a solid opener. Nothing to see here, but Berzerker looked good. *1/2.   ___________________   The 2nd match, is The Bushwhackers vs. The Nasty Boys w/Jimmy Hart.   Prematch: Why. This could be terrible, or just bad. Hopefully bad.   Blow-by-blow: Both teams play to the crowd for two minutes until Luke bites Knobbs on the ass. Ew, gross. The Bushwhackers then do that little "wishbone, step on the nuts but we're really stepping on your stomachs" spot, and the Nasties bail. If I had it my way, they would have stayed gone. This match is just ttteedddiiioouusss so I'll pick up near the hot-tag. The Nasties chinlock Luke to death, until Knobbs goes up and misses a splash. Tag Butch, and Butch is a house of fire. Just some weak-ass bullshit offense, then the Battering Ram. Knobbs has Heenan's coke poured on him by one of the Bushwhackers, and Saggs makes the save with a bellshot to the back of Butch for the pin at 12:38.   Match analysis: It could have been worse. FAR, FAR worse. DUD.   ___________________   The 3rd match, is Chris Walker vs. The Warlord.   Prematch: Walker has this Tarzan thing going on. I know what I'm going to get here, so pardon me if it seems like it's not interesting. The match sure wasn't.   Blow-by-blow: This is a Warlord squash. He's slow as fuck, and he sucks dick. And the match is 11 minutes long. I'm going to spare you all the review. Just fastforward past this shit and don't look back. Warlord powerbombs Walker after an attempted rana for the pin at 11:13.   Match analysis: No. Just, fuck no. Warlord can't work worth a shit, and they gave him more than 10 minutes. Give me a break. -*, for my first negative star rating I've given. And probably the worst squash match I've ever seen. I'd rather watch Nash work with El Gigante. I would have reviewed it, had it not been a squash. Had it not been a squash, it could have been average.   ___________________   The 4th match, is Sid Justice w/Harvey Whippleman vs. Hercules.   Prematch: Hercules doesn't have his chain. He probably forgot all about it when the WWF told him the time he had for this match. This is by far the best "version" of Sid. They built him up like a beast, gave him great music, and a manager to cover for his verbal deficiencies. The audience cheered Sid, even though he was supposed to be a monster heel. I'm not kidding. Sid grabs the mic real quick and gives Herc a chance to leave, but being the man Herc is, he won't.   Blow-by-blow: Big boot, powerbomb, goodbye. 0:25 is the time.   Match analysis: That's probably the best Sid match of all-time. *. That's how you squash, brother.   ___________________   The 5th match, is for the World Rasslin' Federation Intercontinental Championship. The challenger, from the Motor City (harhar) is the Repo Man. The champion, is Rowdy Roddy Piper.   Prematch: There's a lot goin' on here. Piper having the title is two things. One, a lifetime achievement. Two, a vehicle they can use to help put Bret Hart over, which Piper did. I could do some checking, but I'm too lazy, so I'll say that the WM VIII match with Bret was Piper's only pinfall loss in the WWF. Repo Man's music is the shit. Before the match, he steals a watch from an "unsuspecting" woman at ringside. Piper finds out once he gets to the ring, and he's pissed. The announcers mention WM 8 at every opportunity, and Alfred lets us know it's intermission after this match, as he leaves the commentary table for a brief time.   Blow-by-blow: Piper takes off the belt to his skirt kilt, and starts beating Repo Man with it. Piper then clotheslines Repo with the belt. Repo misses the inverted atomic drop, and Piper does the spot where he pokes his opponent in the eye. Piper rams Repo into the stairs, and Repo returns the favor, but into the post rather than the stairs. On the inside, Piper gets the sleeper, then Repo makes the ropes. Thought it was over, I did. Repo has his tow hook, but Earl Hebner grabs the rope attached to the hook to prevent him from using it. Piper grabs the hook and nails Repo with it, which leads to the pinfall at 3:33. Piper then gives the lady at ringside her watch.   Match analysis: Harmless, really. They saved Piper for the battle royal later. *1/4.   ___________________   It's INTERMISSION time, and we go to a set of interviews. Flair...Piper....Hogan. 4 brothers in Hogan's spiel, btw.   ___________________   The 6th match is one that I've wanted to see for a long time. It's the British Bulldog vs. The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer.   Prematch: Taker's entrance is awesome, even then. That's all.   Blow-by-blow: UT chokes DBS, once the referee breaks DBS finds the strength within to clothesline UT over the top rope. Davey can't hold UT up for a suplex or body slam, so UT just simply chokes him. Again, he chokes after the break. UT no-sells every damn thing in this match. Davey finally gets the delayed vertical suplex, and my initial reaction is..WOW. UT's feet are 12-13 feet high in the air. That's high. Davey charges at UT, but gets stungun'd along the top rope and UT pins him at 5:19.   Match analysis: Strange, strange match. *, for the novelty of the match, but I wonder who Davey pissed off. He was squashed like a bug.   ___________________   The 7th match is the Big Boss Man (that's how it was displayed on the graphic) vs. "The Model" Rick Martel w/Arrogance.   Prematch: Bossman has the nightstick, and Martel has Arrogance. Martel looks terrible wearing that pink garbage down to the ring. Martel says something about the terrible fans at MSG, and we start...   Blow-by-blow: Martel slaps Bossman across the face, then runs and hides. Smart guy. Bossman slams Martel twice, so Martel bails out of the ring. Bossman chases him, then hipblocks him. Then he messes Martel's hair up and stomps on his face. Armwringer by Bossman, then a hipblock reversal in favor of Bossman. Bossman clocks Martel upside his head, then pushes him down with one finger. Bossman misses a charge toward the turnbuckle, and Martel takes over. Martel with a back suplex for a 2 count, as the tide has been reversed. Martel works on the back of Bossman, by sitting on his back while applying a chinlock (it's the little things that make a match, like this), and as Rick notices Bossman powering out, he runs up to the turnbuckle and delivers a double axehandle off the 2nd rope. Bossman gets a small package out of nowhere for 2, so Martel gives him a backbreaker. Logically, it makes sense. Bossman crotches Martel as he heads to the top this time, then backdrops him. Martel situates him on the ropes, and Bossman slides to the outside and delivers a thrust to the throat of Martel. Martel grabs Arrogance and the Bossman steals it, but Martel uses the nightstick instead, wallops Bossman with it, and gets the pinfall victory at 13:49.   Match analysis: These guys are among my favorite guys to watch, and they put together a nice match here. Enjoyable, a **1/2 rating is in order.   ___________________   It's battle royal time, and I need to explain my rating system. Yes, it is based mostly on the finish, and who the participants are. For my review, I just write down the important parts. I can review a Royal Rumble, but not this. Too much goes on, too fast. I try to keep up the best I can. I rate them like _/10, and the scale is completely independent than that of other matches. 10/10 is what I believe to be the best battle royal possible. The one on RAW in 93 that set up Razor's first IC title victory is my favorite. Just being honest. It's on the Monday Night RAW tape from 94 or so that, IMO, is the best Coliseum Video tape of all. It's amazing.   ___________________   The participants in this 20 man battle royal are: Rowdy Roddy Piper, Chris Walker, The Model Rick Martel, Ric Flair, The Big Boss Man, British Bulldog, Hulk Hogan, Brian Knobbs, The Berzerker, Hercules, Bushwhacker Luke, Skinner, Repo Man, The Warlord, Kato, Jim Brunzell, Jerry Saggs, Bushwhacker Butch, The Undertaker, and Sid Justice.   So, here we go. Butch has taped ribs to sell the bellshot from Saggs that took place earlier, so he's the first to go. Before that, Hogan and Sid brawled as soon as Hogan got into the ring, and that started the match. That makes sense. After that, nobody goes out for a bit, until The Berzerker is dumped. Skinner out. Kato out. Brunzell goes out somewhere in here, as I'm paying attention to Undertaker and Hogan teaming up on Ric Flair. Hercules and Martel go out, then Piper and Flair brawl. Saggs out, Luke out, Walker out, Flair and Repo get dumped quickly thereafter by Piper, so Sid dumps Piper to get both Flair and Piper back to the dressing room. They can hug it out. Bossman puts UT out, then Sid puts Davey out. Hogan then puts Knobbs out, and we have 4 men left at 13:10. The Warlord, Sid, Hogan and Bossman are the guys left and it's obvious who will exit, and we go to the finish quickly as Hogan dumps Warlord, and Sid dumps Bossman. The crowd is fuckin' electric for this encounter, and for some reason, a damn ref is in the ring. Sid whoops on that ref, and gets dumped by Hogan. BUT, because there's no ref to ring the bell, Justice slides back in. Sid grabs Harvey Whippleman's doctor bad, and hits Hogan with it. He slides Hogan out under the rope, and wakes the ref up. Why the fuck couldn't Hogan just let Sid throw him out like everyone else? Once the ref wakes up, it's Hebner BAH GAWD, AND IT'S TIME TO RING THE FUCKIN' BELL AT 16:37.   As for the match, 7/10 is my ranking. IT's not bad, but it's nothing great. But there's quite a bit of talent in that ring, so the rating gets bumped up.     That's it, show's over.     For the entire show, my ranking is *1/4. It's not worth it to sit down and watch the whole thing. If you skip the 2nd and 3rd matches, you'll be in good shape. I'm going to watch it again, but only by skipping those matches. It's a solid enough show. Match of the night is Bossman/Martel, and the worst match is obviously Warlord/Walker.     ___________________   I think I'll do part 3 of the Undertaker DVD next, but I'm not reviewing the first HiAC until Badd Blood is posted later this month. Til then...   Before too much longer, I'll discuss my rating system, and how I write these.
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Review: WWF Prime Time Wrestling, 7/27/87.

I typed this out last night, and decided to post it today. So, here.   ___________________   We start in the studio, with Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan.   Before we go to the first match (when I say we, I mean us, the viewers) there's a Bigelow vignette that shows the tattoos on his head and that he looks like a rough and tumble, mean son of a bitch.   Sivi Afi v. Macho Man Randy Savage. Savage is my favorite wrestler, so if it ever seems like there's any bias toward him, well, there is. Take that. Afi pulls off a flying head scissors off the top rope and a rana IN FUCKING 1987. What the fuck. He misses a Dynamite-ish flying headbutt off the top rope, and gets dumped to the outside. Savage does his axehandle from the top rope to the outside, then tosses Afi back in. Savage Elbow finishes at 2:16. To give a little bit of insight to my rankings, I would usually give this sort of match *. But for the rana, at that time, I add 1/2*. That's not something you see in '87. The rating is *1/2.   ___________________   Gorilla and Heenan argue about whether or not Heenan has signed Bigelow, and this is the trend for the entire show. As that is the case, I won't reference it again.   Now, we go to the Boston Garden for the next match, One Man Gang vs. Jose Luis Rivera. The rest of the matches are from the Garden, from this same Garden show. Looking at the entire card, it's crap. Most of what they show here isn't, but I would never pay for a show with the headliners on this card. Bruno is the draw, here. Just a squash. Punch, choke. Front suplex finishes at 4:13. DUD.   ___________________   Then, back from the break, the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase, is throwing money to the crowd. Not because he's a nice guy, as he so elequently states, but rather because he loves to watch people beg.   That's followed with a special report with Craig DeGeorge, about Dangerous Danny Davis. I WOULD say to fastforward, but there's some good, lesser seen highlights here. Probably my favorite part of this show, and I marked for the Savage/Santana IC title change.   ___________________   The next match is Dino Bravo w/Johnny V v. Scott Casey.   Casey starts off the action with an atomic drop, hiptoss, scoop slam and armdrag. Another armdrag, and the armwringer sequence is ended with a Bravo chop. Inverted atomic drop by Dino, and Casey is tossed out. Chinlock by Bravo, then a back elbow. A gutwrench suplex and legdrop by Bravo follows, and Casey tries to reverse the tide with a backdrop. However, the tide does not stay reversed, as Dino hits his side suplex for the win at 6:00. *1/4, I've seen WAY worse.   ___________________   Heenan says Bam Bam Bigelow was the one to approach him about being managed by the Brain, as we segue to a MACHO MAN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEAHHHHHH promo. He says he'll be the next World Champioon, and that the Madness is UP HERE and   Hulkamania is DOWN HERE.   ___________________   Cowboy Bob Orton v. Jerry Allen is the next match. The WWF should have kept Allen and pushed him. I mean it. Allen goes up and elbows Orton almost immediately, then crossbody's Orton for a two count. Orton gives Allen a delayed back suplex and kneedrop. Orton then dumps Allen to the concrete floor. Allen tries a sunset flip in, but Orton holds the ropes so he doesn't go down for a count. Orton goes up for a pump splash, but he eats knees. An Allen hiptoss and dropkick gets one, as Orton's feet are on the ropes. Allen brings it to the center for a 2 count, and then Orton gives Allen an inverted atomic drop. Orton stomps on his face, and gives him a backbreaker after parading Allen around the ring while holding him, and then an Orton superplex finishes at 6:27. I enjoyed it, but there are some flaws in this match. I'll still give it **.   ___________________   It's Paul Roma vs. Shadow #1. I'm not giving this a full review, although it was better than I thought it would be. Roma is disgustingly juiced. Seriously, it's gross. The highlight of the match was Roma taking a sick bump to the concrete, after missing a crossbody on #1 while he was tied in the ropes. He missed the ropes entirely instead of grabbing them to slow himself down a bit, and he landed right on HIS FUCKING HEAD. I can't believe he got up from that. Flying crossbody huh, you ain't kidding. Roma won the match, it was **.   ___________________   To Studio G we go, and Gorilla exposes Heenan as faking his neck injury, when he brings in a doctor that says the x-ray of "Heenan's neck" is that of a young woman. Heenan storms off without his neckbrace. He sold this injury for a long time.   Jim Powers vs. Shadow #2. I'm not watching that shit. Put the two teams in a tag match and save everyone the trouble. Powers won, I FF'd through the entire match. I don't do that often, but if it's some bullshit like that, I am. Never during PPV's, though.   ___________________   We come back from the commercial and Gorilla has on a neckbrace of his own. Funny shit.   The feature match is Tito Santana vs. the Magnificent Muraco.   They both lockup and trade armwringers, and Muraco begins to stall. Please, don't. Then we have what looked to be a blown spot, as both guys are trying moves as Santana comes off the ropes, and they ram right into each other. Muraco works on the left knee, a neckbreaker, spinning toehold and grapevine type hold are the high points of this leg work, and when attempting to reapply a spinning toehold, Tito kicks Muraco and Muraco flies into the steel ring post. Tito sells the knee pretty well, until Muraco clotheslines him in the corner. Then Muraco charges into the corner and Tito rolls through with a sunset flip for the win at 8:22. *. Bob Orton and Muraco have words after the match, and after their words, Muraco decides to shake Santana's hand. In no uncertain terms, Orton tells Muraco to screw himself.   And that's it!     Rating: Above-average. Since a lot of the matches on the Prime Time show are similar and formulaic, I base my rating on the vignettes and promos. They delivered, this time.
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Review: ECW...?/?/??, from the ECW Arena.

The date on the program description is wrong. You can't have a show air on 1/4 when the footage was shot on 1/5, obviously. I'll do the logical thing and say this is a 1/11/96 review, not that I'll title it as such.   To start with, before the entire program, WWE put in a video package of The Pitbulls.   I don't review the Tazz/Styles portions of the show where they talk about the past, so we skip ahead to the program.   ___________________   Flashback to "last week", as we have Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie in the back cutting a promo and all of a sudden, THE FUCKING FRANCHISE SHANE DOUGLAS makes his re-debut, as he wonders what the hell happened to ECW...   I believe that would apply to the present as well. ___________________   Now, to the "present," and Joey Styles is in the ring, as he usually is, to introduce the show, of course. Bill freaking Alfonso comes out to the ring, blowing his whistle and screaming about Taz not getting any respect. I love Alfonso's whistle gimmick. Taz then confronts Joey and says he's sick of this shit. He wants to beat Joey's ass. 911 and Tod Gordon come out, Tod attacks Joey and the refs get in-between 911 and Taz. Thank God, I don't want to see that shitty match. Some wrestlers come out to help the officials, as the fans chant "Let them go."   I say, "How about no." They separate, but El Puerto Ricano is in the ring, wearing a shirt that says, "Fonzie Must Die." Well then, Taz sees the shirt, and Tazplexes the guy RIGHT ON HIS HEAD. 911 hits the ring again as a result, but the Eliminators come out and Totally Eliminate him, dude. Jason's with them and he's full of laughs, until Rey Mysterio hits the ring, that is. What the fuck happened to THIS Rey Mysterio, he's all over the place, flying and taking out Kronus and Saturn. I guess we have a tag match, with The Eliminators against Rey and 911. Never once was anything mentioned about a match, until about a minute into their fight. So I don't have a time. Taz comes back to the ring and chokes 911 out with his towel, and I've gotta say, make up your fucking mind. Go to the ring and stay there, or go to the back and stay there. Rey and Saturn are brawling on the outside, and afterward, Kronus gives Rey a bodyslam in the ring. A standing moonsault gets 2 for Kronus. 911 suplexes Saturn in the ring, and at the same time, Kronus gives Rey a powerbomb. Total Elimination on 911 and Taz is back to choke 911 some more. Perry Saturn powerbombs Rey, then the Eliminators whip Rey into the ropes, but get double DDT'd for their trouble. 911 finds his way back to the ring, and Rey goes onto his shoulders for a chickenfight. Saturn goes up for the Eliminators, and Rey jumps to the other side and rana's Saturn off for the pinfall. I liked that spot.   After the match, Rey is Totally Eliminated, and the Pitbulls hit the ring. They look pissed. Francine attacks Jason, but she is also Totally Eliminated. That's the end of that until Jason hits one of the Pitbulls with a steel chair, and they bail soon afterward. Damage Control are out, and Francine does a stretcher job. Totally overbooked trash. Entertaining overbooked trash, that is. **. I can only take so much of that, though. Also, that's 911's last match in ECW for a while, and he only made a one show appearance a few years later. End of a chokeslamming era.   ___________________   ECW then cuts to Styles, as he introduces a segment where Jimmy Del Ray accepts Mr. Hughes as his bodyguard, after him being offered Mr. Hughes by Damien Caine. Whatever.   The match is Buh Buh Ray Dudley w/the rest of the Dudleys vs. "Gigolo" Jimmy Del Ray w/Curtis Hughes.   Buh Buh can't say his name, as I'm sure most of us know. Del Ray dropkicks him as he's trying to stammer it out, and we're underway. Buh Buh dumps Jimmy, and begins to dance. Very entertaining, even though the wrestling on these shows really lacks. Clipjob, and we come back with a Dudley avalanche for a 2 count. Swinging DDT from the top by Del Ray, then Hughes gets on the apron. Buh Buh's DDT finishes at a clipped 2:45. 3/4*. Buh Buh's music isn't dubbed, thank goodness, and that's cut once Shane Douglas makes a surprise appearance at the ECW Arena. He wants to teach Buh Buh some English, and slaps the taste out of Buh Buh's mouth. And that's that.   ___________________   A useless Rey Mysterio promo...   ___________________   And now, we have what this episode is famous for. The Beulah pregnancy angle. I have to say, this shit does not hold up at all. I was almost embarassed to be watching it. I'm not going to recap it. This kind of shit is what inspired Russo to do his Crash TV garbage, so this is one of my least favorite things I've seen in the wrestling business. What some people call, "pushing the envelope," others call trash. I'm in the group that calls it trash. It just doesn't hold up whatsoever, and I wanted to get that off my chest now. I won't say anything negative about it from now on.   ___________________   My spiel about this show....overbooked. The last episode was far better. If someone watched this episode and called ECW, "Extremely Crappy Wrestling," I wouldn't disagree. Buh Buh's gimmick is really funny, so it gives this show a higher rating than I would give it otherwise.       My rating: Decent. I was entertained, but I couldn't handle it for more than 45 minutes, the length of the episode. The pregnancy angle kinda put a downer on this episode, IMO.
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Review: Shorties Section from the update of 10/10.

Easy, short reviews here, so I'll get them out quick. The Kings need a win tonight, so hopefully posting this on the same day will bring a victory to Los Angeles. Each section is denoted in bold.   Mad Dog Vachon   Vachon attacks Joe LeDuc at the start of this clip, so LeDuc does a bladejob to go with the cast on his arm. Once things settle down, Vachon beats up some jobber, cobra clutches him and LeDuc is back and bandaged up.... He gets his revenge and shit. Then Baron von Raschke and Vachon cut a promo. Baron just stands their looking mean and Vachon talks in his loud, crazed voice.   I could have done without that, even though I love the Baron. It was pointless for WWE to put that on their on demand channel, IMO.     Terry Funk   Now, I have a problem with this. If you're showing Terry Funk, show something from the NWA or ECW. Not from Florida. Terry's with Gordon Solie and Dory Funk, and they narrate a clip of a previous match where Terry faced Dusty Rhodes. Dusty has a cast on his arm and hits Funk with a couple of elbows, and during the narration Funk's doing nothing but bitching. After a couple elbows, Dory comes in and attacks Dusty. NOW WE HAVE DA COLLA BROTHA, as Dusty juices. The Funk's try to rebreak Dusty's arm, and the babyfaces come out of the dressing room to save him. This angle looks really similar to the angle where Flair and the Andersons broke his arm inside a steel cage after Dusty saved Slick Ric after his match with my nephew Nikita.   Misused the theme of this month. They should have used a barbed wire match.   The Missing Link   The match here is the Missing Link and Bruiser Brody vs. Terry Gordy and The Great Kabuki. Gordy and Bruiser brawl to the back and disappear for the duration of the bout, so this turns into a singles match. Kabuki nerveholds Link to death, and me too, because I'm bored to death. That's literally all he does for the duration of this bout, until Michael Hayes hands Kabuki nunchucks and Kabuki hits Link with them for the DQ at 8:11. DUD. That was terrible.   Another one I could have done without.   Buzz Sawyer   Prematch: Now, this is what I was waiting for. The match is Buzz Sawyer, The Great Muta and The Dragonmaster vs. Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Ole Anderson. Flair's the Champ, here. Sting had been attacked by the Horsemen earlier in the night, so 5 of these guys are heels. Muta is not a heel, as the crowd goes batshit for him. The Dragonmaster is Kendo Nagasaki, in case you didn't know. That was his gimmick from Florida. From Clash X, from Corpus Christi, Texas. This is the show in Mick Foley's book where he talks about facing Mil Mascaras and attacking some guy from a band after the match. I've always wanted to see this show. Jim Ross and Jim Cornette are on commentary.   Blow-by-blow: Arn attacks Buzz Sawyer to start, and Buzz returns the favor with some hard chops to the chest of Arn. Sawyer throws Arn into the cage, and Muta does some Liu Kang type flying attack at Arn, in which he hits Arn with about 5 kicks. Flair and Dragonmaster come in, and Flair chops him to death, Ole in with some knees, and Arn and Muta come in. Muta hits a handspring elbow that's probably the best looking one I've seen, and the crowd goes nuts. Nuts, I tell you. Muta applies the STF, and WE GOTS COMPANY AT RINGSIDE BRUDDA, and STING's trying to get into the cage to attack Ric Flair. Tom Zenk and Brian Pillman come out and try to pull Sting down from the cage, and they succeed this time. Ole backdrops Buzz into the cage and SAWYERS BENT IN HALF, BY GAWD and I happen to agree with that sentiment. What a tough bump that looked to be. The guy was so zonked out on crack that it didn't matter. That's why he's dead, you know. Now we have a historical moment in wrestling, as Sting goes back to the cage, and blows his knee out as he tries to climb in. Uh-oh. It can be instantly seen that there's a problem, because Sting immediately stops what he's doing, and he can't get to the back without assistance. His knee is fucked, as is the angle the NWA set up earlier that night. Buzz Sawyer suplexes Arn and goes to the top like Superfly, but he misses the splash from the top of the cage. Arn spinebusters Dragonmaster, and we have a pier-6 brawl. Arn DDT's Dragonmaster at 6:13 for the win.   Match analysis: The Sting injury really threw the NWA into a loop, it killed their main event for WrestleWar, and they tried to fall back on Luger in another attempt to turn him into their Hulk Hogan. As we know, it didn't work, for multiple reasons. For one, Luger couldn't talk like Hogan. Number two, I've read stories that the guy always felt he was above the business. He treated the fans like shit, how are they going to get behind him. They aren't. In Sting's first televised match back, he got the NWA belt. That was in July. In the meanwhile, the NWA didn't know what the fuck to do. They put Sid Vicious in the Horsemen (ugh), and debuted El Gigante. Then they did a Flair vs. Junkyard Dog main at Clash XI, and Sting made his comeback and saved JYD. They really, REALLY need to start showing this shit. Strange match, *3/4. For the whole spectacle, the entertainment value is off the charts.       I'm going to tack the review of Killer Kowalski vs. Bruno Sammartino to the two Wild Samoan matches I still have to review. So, I didn't forget about that.     Comments are appreciated.
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Review: WCCW 1/15/83

I'm bored, so I'll type this out now, instead of later. I far prefer the one hour shows as opposed to the 2 and 3 hour ones, because it's easier to review them.   From the Sportatorium in Dallas, this is World Class Championship Wrestling. Yadayadayada, the host is Bill Mercer.   We start with Brian Adias vs. Buddy Roberts of the Fabulous Freebirds, Michael Hayes is at ringside. This is right after the angle where the Freebirds slammed Kerry Von Erich's head with the steel cage door, so the crowd hates the Freebirds. Hayes cuts a promo to start and we're underway. Roberts grabs onto a side headlock and takes Adias over three times. Adias dropkicks him after getting up from each takeover, and Roberts bails to the outside. I'm not all too familiar with WCCW, so I kinda though Adias was a jobber. He's not. Buddy grabs onto Adias arm and gives him an armlock figure-four. I like that move a lot. Not much here, except for Buddy's bloody knee, and they pick up the pace once the ring announcer says there's two minutes left in the bout. Buddy hits Adias with a nice swinging neckbreaker for a two count, and I believe it when someone says, that's how the move's supposed to be done. Because it is. Roberts follows with a backbreaker and 2nd rope elbow, each get a 2 count. Adias sunset flips over Roberts for two, and we have a time-limit draw at 8:26. The times are always fudged on the time-limit draws, of course. I don't recall very many announced time-limit draws going the duration of the announced time-limit. Anyway, I kinda liked it. *1/2.   ___________________     After a commercial break (and I love WCCW's intro to commercials, btw), we go to the Freebirds house. During this promo, country music plays in the background. It fits, see. The Freebirds have a Georgia flag (which at the time, had the stars and bars of the Confederacy on it) hanging up in the background, and they defend their position on why they attacked Kerry Von Erich during his title match against Ric Flair at the beginning of the month. It was shown last month, and I thought it was ***1/4.   Another break, and we come back with Michael Hayes in the ring, as he will be facing off against Al Madril. I thought Madril was a jobber too, but Mercer says he's a former Texas State champion. OK. Hayes stalls for a while, and plays the "chickenshit heel" role very well. Not much to see here, until Hayes piledrives Madril and decides not to cover him. Hayes then beats up Madril, and Jose Lothario comes down to the ring to save Madril, so Hayes gets the DQ win at 7:46. I had no idea Lothario was still wrestling at this point. 3/4*.   ___________________   Promo time, and Lothario wants to fight Hayes anytime, anywhere. He says it's ok to beat someone, but to try to hurt them after they're beat is crossing the line.   Andre follows with a promo of his own about the upcoming 6 man elimination match...   And now it's time for the main event! It's a 6 man elimination match, and the winner gets 5,000 dollars. You can be eliminated by pinfall, submission or going over the top rope, and it's every man for himself. The participants are Kerry Von Erich, Terry Gordy, Wild Bill Irwin, Bugsy McGraw, King Kong Bundy, and Andre The Giant.   Kerry goes straight for Gordy, a Freebird, before the match starts. They brawl before Andre gets to the ring, and once Andre hits the ring and the match starts, out Kerry goes after Michael Hayes pulls the rope down as Kerry's trying to put Gordy out. That took 10 seconds. Kerry tries to brawl with Gordy, but the officials send him out of the building. Andre makes Bundy look like a child, and that's no exaggeration. Andre tries to choke out Gordy for a really long time, but Bundy takes him down. Once Bundy does that, he throws McGraw out at 2:40, and we have 4 men left. Andre's still trying to choke Gordy, but Irwin gets in the way. Uh-oh. Andre throws Irwin out of the way like Irvin's a child, and Andre's still after Gordy. The crowd loves Andre. Irwin keeps trying to impede the Giant, but Andre throws him out of the way like a jabroni. Bundy tries to slam Andre, but he can't. The other three men triple team Andre for a really long time,until Andre throws Irwin out at 10:38. One thing I've drawn from this match is that Andre probably didn't like Gordy. Or it seems like it. Gordy almost goes out, but Hayes saves him. Andre goes over the top rope at 11:15 to chase Hayes, so he's gone. And he's pissed, too. Bundy then slams Gordy for a two count, as we have two men left. Bundy then misses an avalanche and gets put out over the top via a Gordy dropkick, at 12:54. Gordy wins the match, and the 5,000 dollars. I really liked the Andre portion of this match, because the guy really knew how to work the crowd, and he was still mobile enough to work. He didn't use the ropes to get up at all, and he wasn't stuck to the ropes during his matches like at the end of his career. ** for the whole thing, I was entertained.   ___________________   Brian Adias and Kerry Von Erich cut a promo about Adias match vs. Terry Gordy next week, and wow, Kerry is terrible on the mic. Why didn't they reshoot that?   Anyway, the show's over. Now, as we flashback to the present, Hayes is with Buddy Roberts in the studio. Wow, Roberts looks to be in rough shape. It also looks like he's had a bout with throat cancer, as he needs to push on something attached to his chest to be able to speak. Poor guy. They then tell a story about Gordy being double-booked because of Ole Anderson, and they bury the guy. I don't even think Ole likes Ole, as I've never heard a single person say something good about him. Did he piss on everyone, or what?   ___________________     Rating: Above-average. That was a fun way to spend an hour, and it was nice to see Andre before he became immobile. Hopefully with the update tomorrow comes some good stuff.
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Review: WCW Monday Nitro, 3/24/97, from Duluth, Minnesota.

Waiting for the Kings to restart their season after the London trip really sucks, I just want to see my team play some games.     We're live (not) from Duluth, and Larry the Ax Hennig is there. I don't know why the guys so overdressed for the occasion, but whatever.   The first match is for the US Title, it's the challenger, Konan v. DEAN MALENKO. I don't know why Konnan is billed as Konan, but regardless, the match begins. The Dungeon of Doom guys were OVER as babyfaces, I've got no clue why. Dean does a nice reversal out of a Konnan armbar, and gives Konnan a stiff kick to the back. Dean slams him, but Konnan kips up and gives Dean an armdrag. What the fuck happened to the Konnan I'm watching in this match. Double feature time with Syxx and he cuts a TERRIBLE promo, about 5 times worse than the Undertaker one I watched 10 minutes ago. Konnan with a rolling clothesline and powerbomb for a two count. Whip to the ropes and Dean comes off with a leg lariat, but Konnan counters that with an elbow drop while Dean's down, and a la magistral rollup for 2. Konnan goes up to the top and misses a ________, then Dean gets the Texas Cloverleaf at 3:30 for the submission. Good while it lasted. *3/4.   Once Malenko exits the ring, he has some words for Eddie Guerrero and Syxx, as he believes the two to be in cahoots. He insults Benoit as well, and I sit stunned in shock that they actually mentioned his name on this channel.   ___________________     We've got the MACHO MAN, OOOOOOOOOOOYEAHHHHHHH vs Prince Iaukea for the TV Title in the main event, because the NWO won the right to challenge for any title, whenever they want to challenge for it, at Uncensored. This unnamed guy appeared at Uncensored and attacked Glacier, well that guy is Wrath/Brian Clarke/Adam Bomb.   That ties into this match, as we have Mortis w/James Vandenburg v. Jerry Flynn. Let me say this, Mortis' entrance is the most awesome thing in the history of this very sport. James Vandenburg is Father James Mitchell and the Sinister Minister, in case you didn't know. Holy crap. Tony just called Mortis' kicks back leg front kicks. Wow. Both Flynn and Mortis kick each other for a while because they're both "martial artists," so this match picks up when Mortis jumps off the top rope and hits Flynn with a Rocker Dropper. Vandenburg beats up Flynn a bit from the outside and Mortis goes up to the top. Flynn hits him with a powerbomb from the 2nd rope (yeesh, these guys are busting out teh sick offense), Mortis lowblows him after the cover, and the Flatliner finishes at 4:55. The Flatliner is a samoan drop from the 2nd rope, FWIW. **, I got into it and these two busted their ass. I wonder what they'd do with more time. I really like Mortis, and I'm sure that has something to do with the rating.   ___________________   Back from the commercial break and holy crap La Parka's in the ring. YESS!!!!! He's facing Juventud Guerrera. Juvi goes straight up and La Parka catches him on a crossbody attempt. This is La Parka, and La Parka loves to dance. He puts Juvi down for some reason once he's done dancing, and somehow Juvi gives him a rana off the top. On the outside, Juvi comes off the ropes and hits a HUGE crossbody to the outside after springboarding off the top rope. He flew! La Parka's back in, but Juvi's not. Juvi hits a springboard dropkick for a 2 count. Juvi does a nice 360 sell after a La Parka lariat, but unfortunately, La Parka blows a springboard moonsault. He pins Juvi and gets 2, but if I were Juvi I would have no-sold it. LP dumps the artist that would become the JUICE, and dives from the ring to the outside. Back in, and Juvi somersaults off the ropes and kicks La Parka. Juvi tries a rana off the top but gets superbombed (damn) and a somersault finishes the match for La Parka at 4:19. His music is obviously dubbed. *1/4. Didn't hold up when I watched it again.   ___________________   Flashback to the Outsiders/Steiners feud, nothing of note here. Then they cut to the Steiners with Mean Gene, and Scott's taking up more than half my TV screen. The guy is on every steroid known to man at this point. Dare I say he looked bigger then than he did during his Big Poppa Pump days.   High Voltage v. Public Enemy. The PE are over as shit, they control High Voltage for the duration of the match and Rocco then puts one of them through a table with a tope over the top rope. The crowd asked for it, they got it. PE are more over than anyone else who appeared on this show, no joke. Jeff Jarrett runs out to the ring with Mongo's briefcase, hits Johnny Grunge in the back with it and HIGH VOLTAGE get the upset win at 3:46. *. Mongo's really pissed off at Jarrett and says, you shouldn't have done that. Whatever.   ___________________   The Giant and Lex Luger are out with Mean Gene after the break, and they've got some things to say about Hollywood Hogan. Well, the Giant's wearing a bib. For some reason, I'm not afraid of a man that wears a bib.   Psicosis v. Super Calo is next and this match sucks balls. Super Calo looks like one of the PE's, therefore, he must do the job. He does the job at 4 minutes after a Psicosis guillotine legdrop. DUD.   ___________________   The Faces of Fear are going to face Harlem Heat, who are accompanied by Sister Sherri.   The Barbarian tosses Booker T over the top rope to get started, and back on the inside, Booker gets a crossbody for two. Stevie Ray in with a scoop slam. Tag Meng, Meng poses and looks mean and shit. Once he's done with that, he backsuplexes Stevie, and then Stevie comes back with a big boot. Booker's in and he's heating up, scissor kick to Barbarian. Book tries it again, but gets crotched on the top rope this time. A double headbutt by the FoF gets a two count on Booker, and Meng gets a good looking backbreaker. Booker can't slam Meng and Meng gets two on the subsequent count. After that, Meng throws Booker into the head of Barbarian, as the Barbarian tags in. Sidewalk slam by Barb gets two. The Harlem Heat switch right in front of the ref and the ref allows it, and that's the first time I've ever seen a babyface team get away with that. And I've watched a lot of wrestling, folks. A Rocket Launcher by the Harlem Heat gets a two count, and Booker follows with the Harlem Sidekick. See, this is what you get when Booker does most of the work. A good match. Booker goes for a rana and gets a sitout powerbomb from Meng (wow, never seen him do that). Sherri's on the apron, Meng hits her and Booker rolls Meng up and grabs the tights at 8:32. **1/4, really good stuff. I thought it would blow at first.   ___________________   Madusa faces a Japanese lady whose name I don't want to butcher. This is a terrible match, there's nothing to note outside of Madusa's german suplex finisher at 2:43. DUD. They blew quite a few spots, no doubt because of Madusa's fake titties.   ___________________   On the road in Roanoke, yeah, yeah, yeah....   Renegade faces Jim Duggan in a Duggan squash, this match is completely useless and almost in -* range, but I'll give it a DUD to be nice. Duggan finished with a taped fist at 3:50. IF the match would have gone past the 5 minute mark, I would have neg star'd it.   ___________________   The French-Canadians w/Col. Robert Parker (who I like) are going to take on the Steiner Brothers, as we come out of the commercial break. Jacques Rougeau wants everyone to stand up for Oh Canada, but the referee Randy Anderson steals the mike from the Canadians before they can finish. Scott Steiner does his double-underhook front suplex to start and Rick clears the ring. The FC's team up and focus on Scott, they give him some generic offense and a short heat sequence. Tag Rick and the Steiners clean house again, but Robert Parker swings the Quebec flag at Scott and misses. While that's going on, Rick Steiner gets a piledriver from Carl Oulette and Le Cannonball for the 2 count. I really thought the match was going to be over there, just like PE's v. High Voltage from earlier. Jacques grabs the boot of Parker and swings it at a Steiner but misses, and Scott gets the pin at 4:02. Not bad. *1/4.   ___________________   Now, it's time for the main event of the evening...this match is for the Television Title! The challenger, accompanied to the ring by the NWO sans Scott Hall and Hollywood Hogan, he is the Macho Man RANDY SAVAGE OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH!. The champion, with me having no fucking idea why he has the TV Title, is Prince Iaukea!.   On the way to the ring, Kevin Nash gives the widely known Kilq sign and says, "this is for you HBK." Savage armdrags Iaukea and Iaukea gets a shoulderblock in return. Tony says this is the first time Savage has wrestled on TV since October. Sheesh. A springboard crossbody by Iaukea gets two and he slams Savage for a 1 count. He chops Savage and goes to the top, but misses a crossbody. Savage takes over and drops Iaukea across the top rope. He slams him and GOES UP TOP FOR THE FLYING ELBOW. Savage picks Iaukea up, seemingly planning to deliver more punishment. BUT DDP HITS THE RING, and DEY BE BEATIN EACH OTHA TIL DEY CAN BARLY WALK TONY, but the NWO comes in from the outside and it's burial time. DQ win for Savage at 3:16, which is an odd time considering the direct WWF reference 5 minutes ago. 3/4*. The NWO gives a straight out ass-whoopin' to Page as Iaukea just lies in the center of the ring. Powerbomb for Page from Nash. Elbow on Page by Savage. They then hold Page still as Bischoff karate kicks him in the head. Tony calls that a back leg round kick. Jesus. Spraypaint for Iaukea after a powerbomb by Nash. Iaukea gets the obvious, NWO tag. But Page on the other hand, he gets a 0 on his back, cause that's what Savage says he is. End show. I don't know why they buried the TV champ like that, but it's WCW. Iaukea should have got out of dodge once he saw them hit the ring.   They kept a lot of top talent off the show this week, so I can't in good conscience give a good rating. This show dragged more than any show I've ever watched. By the time it hit Hour 2, the show had felt like it's been going for an hour and a half. A good Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat was the highlight of this show, and I'll probably rewatch it again.     Rating: Decent.   If you miss the MNW show this time around, you aren't missing very much.
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Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 3/24/97, from Rockford, Illinois.

The Angels lost today. GOOD.       A flashback to Wrestlemania 13 starts things off, where The Undertaker pinned Sycho Sid in one of the worst WWF main events I've ever seen. One of these days, I'll review it. Have I mentioned I love the entrance to Raw, with the warehouse and that cool song?   The Three Stooges say that the number one contender for the World Wrestling Federation Title is...MANKIND! He and The Undertaker do battle at IYH: Revenge of the Taker, and that can be seen on the 2nd part of the Tombstone DVD that's currently posted on WWE On Demand. I'm still tinkering with my review format, so it'll look different for the majority. It'll be somewhat similar to my last review.   The first match is for the WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP, and it's the BRITISH BULLDOG and OWEN HART vs. The Headbangers. The Champions are in caps.   A bit of background on this one, the breakup of Owen and Davey Boy has been teased for a while, and the Headbangers won an 4 way Elimination Tag Team match at Wrestlemania last night to get this title shot.   Owen does his reverse sequence to start things off with Mosh, you know, the opponent armbar, then Owen does his roll-throughs and front flip to change the tide. He reels off an armdrag (I am so fucking sick of this move), and a dragon screw(!) on Mosh. The Headbangers double team Owen, and we wind up with Bulldog and Thrasher in the ring. Bulldog with scoop slam, then a neat double team as he tags Owen and military presses Owen onto Thrasher for a 2 count. RAW goes to a split-screen format, as LOD prepare to face the champs at Revenge of the Taker. Ok, then. Mosh hits the post after a failed charge to the corner, and Bulldog comes back in with a spinebuster. A nice delayed suplex to Thrasher by the Bulldog, and Bulldog accidentally knocks Owen off the apron after being ran into by Thrasher. Owen's pissed and tells Bulldog, "see ya later, do it yourself." And we have a commercial break.   We're back ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW (/vince), and the Headbangers hit a sick combination move on Bulldog that looks somewhat like the Death Sentence of AMW fame. Headbangers with some more double-team moves and this time they really tease the Owen/Bulldog breakup, as Owen won't tag in. Meanwhile, Mosh bigsplashes Bulldog for a 2 count. He goes to whip Bulldog into the ropes, and Bulldog hits a sunset flip on the way back for a 1 count. The Headbangers try a doubleteam, but they both get DDT'd by Bulldog. Hot tag to Owen as he barely sticks his hand out there, and he's a HOUSE OF FIRE, with leg lariats and an overhead belly-to-belly for the opposition. He then hits a backbreaker and quickly tags Davey Boy back in, with Davey Boy having no time to rest. He hits a snap powerslam for two (not his finisher) and gets Owen back in there while he's unawares. Some variation from the norm by Owen, that's a gutwrench suplex and a top rope dropkick for Thrasher, and it's SHARPSHOOTER TIME in Rockford. The hold is broken up by Mosh, and Davey comes in and hits his finish, the POWERSLAM. He tries to drag Owen over for the cover, but Owen's having none of that. He's pissed, and wants to know why Bulldog's hands are on him. Bulldog pushes the ref at 9:31 (cut for commercials), and he goes to war with Owen. Owen wants the European Championship, and Bulldog says sure. Anytime, anywhere, but Owen only gets one shot. The match was **1/4.     Mankind's in the boiler room, and the geniuses with the WWF stuck a camera in there to find out why. Well, Mankind is pissed that Paul Bearer's not with him. He wants his Uncle Paul back. ___________________   We're back from the break, and Bart Gunn's in the ring. He faces off against Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who's accompanied by this strongman named Chyna. Bret Hart's on the Titantron and wants his interview time. Where's my time Vince, where's my time. Everyone's gonna get a piece of Bret's mind. Helmsley freakin' carries Gunn through the first 5 minutes, making the match look decent. Gunn is about to try a bulldog on HHH (fuck it, it's easier, and it's what he is. So I'll call him that.) and Chyna pulls the rope down, dumping Gunn to the outside. Chyna bodyslams him on the outside and rams him into the steel post. HHH pulls Gunn back in and hits the Pedigree at 7:15. *1/2, all for HHH. By the way, next week, it's Goldust v. Hunter Hearst Helmsley, no Marlena at ringside and no Chyna at ringside.   ___________________   We're back, and there's a lucha match that I'm not going to review, because the shitty commentary guys did nothing during the entire match to distinguish the wrestlers from each other. They all look like Power Rangers except for one, who looks like a member of KISS. Anyway, on one team we have, Venum, Super Nova, & Discovery, and on the other we have Hysteria, Abismo Negro, & Maniaco. Bret's still pissed that he hasn't had time to talk yet. The Green Ranger is the best of these luchadors, he hits some great looking moves, but the Yellow Ranger is the worst. He blows balls...and spots. He blows two spots terribly, and the Blue Ranger finishes at 4:10. Apparently the Blue Ranger is on the first team, so sayeth thehistoryofwwe.com. *, pointless.   ___________________   An interview with both Rocky Johnson and Rocky Maivia airs, and it was shot earlier in this very building, as it was empty. Nothing stood out.   Honky Tonk Man's on his way to the ring for guest commentary, and the match is Flash Funk vs. The Brooklyn Brawler. Flash Funk's ring entrance is WAY TOO LONG, I didn't time it but I'll bet it's longer than this match. As one of the participants names would note, they brawl to start and Funk hits a rana. He grabs onto Brawler and hits a half-nelson back suplex, but catches knees on a standing moonsault attempt. Brawler throws Funk into the air for a flapjack, and for some reason, Funk throws Brawler to the outside. THAT reason, just so happens to be a plancha. Back inside for a crossbody by Funk for a 2 count, another back suplex, and the 450 splash finishes at 3:07. Yeah, the entrance was longer than the match.   Shamrock's on the Titantron to explain why he stopped the I Quit Match at WM 13, and we go to break afterward. He gives little insight.   ___________________   We're back with the start of Warzone, and Bret's finally going to get his interview time. To be kind, the reception is lukewarm as opposed to dead, which is what this crowd really is.   Bret apologizes for his actions in the past few weeks, but he damn sure isn't apologizing to the Americans in the crowd. He hates Shawn Michaels, and says that Shawn poses for gay magazines. I like HBK for some reason and no, it ain't cause I'm gay, but it wouldn't surprise me if he really did pose for a gay magazine. Bret's going to clean up the WWF. With middle fingers and vulgarity the likes of which he displays in this promo. He makes fun of Shawn's lost smile and haven't we all, and follows that up with all to oft-used, "you Americans can kiss my ass." Like I haven't heard that before. Everyone screws Bret (ugh), so HBK comes out and gives us a little business exposure as he mentions how hard it is to get the title belt away from Bret Hart. He puts over Stone Cold Steve Austin, says that the fans can do what they want, and at the same time, Shawn wants to fight Bret. Bret tells Shawn he better walk to the back and get the hell out of his face. That line was so brilliantly delivered it could almost be believed to be real. Shawn says that Bret must be you-know-what, cause how else would he know if Shawn posed nude in magazines. Now they fight, and Bret ringpost Figure-Four leglocks him to cement his heel turn. Sid comes out for some reason and chases Bret to the back. Ooooook.   ___________________   But Bret really didn't stay in the back for very long, as he makes his way out to the commentary table as an unwanted guest for the match between the Intercontinental Champion, Rocky Miavia, and Al Snow Leif Cassidy. The bout is not for the Intercontinental Championship. Snow misses a frog splash when they cut back to the ring that would have missed even if Rocky didn't roll. Al is so unsatisfied with his job that at this point, he really doesn't give a shit. Belly-to-belly by Rocky gets 2, and then his rollover DDT and crossbody from the top finish the bout, as the Intercontinental Champ picks up the victory. And he is not over, at all. In fact, this crowd is dead, and has been all show. DUD for the match.   ___________________   The last match of the show is Ahmed Johnson vs Savio Vega, the Nation of Domination made their way to the arena, but they're staying on the entrance ramp, because Ahmed brought his Jim Duggan endorsed 2x4. Faarooq's "hospitalized", so he's not there. Crush is the defacto leader. Savio works him over with rights, left, and spinning heel kicks. Ahmed back-bumps off a chop, which shows you that he's ready to work tonight. This is getting the full recap treatment, as it's has some time behind it and it's the main event. Ahmed comes back with an atomic drop, and they dump to the outside after an Ahmed clothesline puts them over the top rope.   Commercial break.   We're back, and Ahmed's in the midst of delivering a delayed vertical suplex. Ahmed goes up to the top and somersaults onto Savio Vega, certainly "Holy Shit" worthy if you ask me, but the crowd makes no noise. Goodness. Afterward, he misses an elbow drop, so Savio regains control with a superkick. Savio goes to the sleeper and they rest, FF 25 seconds and Ahmed starts a comeback. Uranage (which becomes Rock Bottom) by Ahmed, then a shitty spinebuster and the Nation's on their way down to the ring. Ahmed goes for the Pearl River Plunge, instead of Savio taking it, Crush pulls him out and that's DQ worthy at 6:09, cut. Ahmed Johnson gets the victory. Ahmed grabs his 2x4 and the Nation backs off. Ahmed then challenges the Nation to a "if I beat one of you, you leave the WW[bleep] forever," match. The Nation no-sells his proposal, and then walks to the back. The match was *1/2, Johnson wanted to work tonight and did his best. His best ain't that good, but whatever.   ___________________   Paul Bearer's standing by backstage as the show returns from commercial break, and he wants to talk with someone, but he doesn't say who that is in particular. The Undertaker comes to the ring with the Championship he won the night before at Wrestlemania 13, and cuts a terrible promo. He's not good with the long interview format, but he says one good thing that stands out. The WWF is in for dark days. Yeah, no shit. They were in for dark days long before you got the belt, and they will be for your whole title reign. I like UT, but he's not saying anything the smark community doesn't know 10 years later. Which is why I found it interesting. Uncle Paul comes to the ring and Mankind appears on the Titantron. Mankind needs Paul and this show comes to an abrupt end. No forewarning, just the copyrights and that's it. Weird. I think they ran over the alloted time and couldn't get an overrun, so the show came to an abrupt halt as they were about to get to the meat of the promo.   ___________________   I'm not entirely interested in RAW, as the WWF is clearly the worse of the two big federations at this time. I usually enjoy Nitro the most. This certainly dragged, but the Bret promo was strong once Shawn came out, and RAW started strong with the opener for the Tag Team Titles. The last match was passable, but the crowd's lack of enthusiasm for everything besides the opening fireworks was terrible. I have no idea why Rocky had a title at this time. He's useless. I know what they're setting things up for, but getting there wasn't exactly setting the world on fire.     Rating: Decent.   I'm going to review Nitro tomorrow, and comments are most definitely welcome. I already watched it and took notes, but I won't spill the beans, no I won't.
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Review: NWA 12/21/85

Playoffs start tomorrow. The Angels will win the World Series.     They skipped a week of NWA, I'm not going to complain, as the "main" was Krusher Khrushchev vs. Pez Whatley, for the Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Title.   The program starts off with some Dusty moments from the past, haha, then Dusty's in LIVE AND LIVING COLOR BRUDDA. Hey... He looks to be in pretty good shape, for Dusty anyway. Doesn't look like he's aged much at all.   Then the geniuses in the 24/7 department flashback to Halloween Havoc 1995, when the Horsemen reform by kicking the shit out of Sting. Flair, Arn, and Pillman version. I haven't seen much of this stuff, so I appreciate when the video department does this.   David Crockett and Schiavone host, and they talk about the TV Title tournament that's upcoming on the 4th of January 1986. The TV title tournament was booked when 3 of the future Four Horsemen (sans Tully) broke Dusty's ankle during the infamous angle after Flair defended his title against inside the not so high NWA steel cage. If you haven't seen the angle, you really need to. The tournament ends with in the final; then they talk about the Championship Challenge series that's been occuring on these weekly shows for the past month or so. This show is from the TV studio.     Now, a forewarning. For these squash shows, my recaps are different. Highlights of the match, a brief thought and a rating. That's it. The long matches get a rating, then only the blow-by-blow, and a little analysis, but no prematch, as these matches start straight out of the commercial break. For Nitros and Raws, that will be dealt with accordingly.     1st match, one half of the National Tag Team Champions (don't ask), Ole Anderson w/Arn Anderson v. Bob Wayne.   Lame armwork by Ole and hey, Teddy Long's the ref!! He's sporting a skullet. Ew. All Ole does this match is an armbar, scoop slam, knee off the top rope and an armbar for the submission finish at 4:31. DUD. Way too long.   ___________________   Paul Jones cuts a promo for the Barbarian, because he's a mute, you know. Lame heelish verbage, and they talk about the TV Title tourney on the 4th. I kinda wish I had a video of that tournament.   ___________________   Commercial break, and we're back with the 2nd match, Nikita Koloff w/Uncle Ivan v. Tony Zane.   Zane tries a rollup but gets shrugged off, Uncle Ivan yells "WHERE ARE ROAD WARRIOR" as Nikita roughs up the jobber. Nikita no-sells some jobber punches and finishes with the RUSSIAN SICKLE OF COMMUNIST POWER AND MIGHT STRAIGHT OUTTA MOSCOW for 3 at 2:57. Better match, more bearable and ended quickly. 1/2*.   ___________________   Magnum and Dusty cut a promo, they're called America's Team here, and Magnum has some wear on his forehead from a ROUGH bladejob. It looks like the guy stabbed himself with a steakknife in the head. Poor promo by Dusty, nothing compared to the one he cut 2 weeks before.   ___________________   Barbarian's back out for the 3rd match with Paul Jones in tow, he'll be facing Richard Dunn.   He bites him, hits a delayed vertical suplex that's better than Davey Boy's, as much as I hate to say it. Big powerslam from Barbarian and a diving headbutt off the top finishes at 5:03. WAY too long, 1/4*.   ___________________   Tully with a promo about Magnum, where he declares that he wears this gym sweatshirt from Magnum's hometown so that he never forgets what Magnum TA took from him. He's also entering the tournament for the Television Title. I don't think much of Tully's promos.   ___________________   In the 4th match, Krusher Khrushchev w/Ivan Koloff takes on Bill Mulkey.   Big beel, HAMMERLOCK SLAM (I love that move), and a SICKLE finishes at 1:56. * for the hammerlock slam.   ___________________   JJ Dillon thinks Nature Boy Buddy Landel is a member of the New England Patriots, as Buddy and the National Title don't get any respect, but Buddy isn't out there. In fact, he dropped the belt before this show aired, and wasn't heard from again. Wiki says he had drug problems and left the company. Dumbass.   ___________________   In the 5th match, Tully Blanchard w/Baby Doll faces off against Vernon Deaton.   Supposedly Baby Doll is a perfect 10. Uh, no. Idiot jobber gives Tully no help on a headlock takeover, Tully hits a nice European Uppercut and finishes with the Slingshot Suplex at 4:34. *.   ___________________   This show is really dragging along, as Arn comes out and has some words to say about the TV title tournament, and his favorite tag team, the Rock N Roll Express. Words of anger and spite, as he wants the World Tag Team Titles.   ___________________   In the 6th match, it's Sam Houston v. Kent Glover.   Houston screws around way too long with Glover and gives him way too much offense, IMO. A bulldog finishes at 6:13. A complete AND TOTAL FUCKING WASTE OF TIME. DUD. I noticed earlier that Teddy Long's been the ref for each match, and I've gotta wonder, is the promotion about to go out of business here? Everyone's turning in shitty performances, and Schiavone hasn't said more than 20 words. The enthusiasm isn't there tonight. Must've been the last taping after a long day.   ___________________   THE REAL WORLD'S CHAMP, the NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR BABY comes out and has a message for everyone. He's a modern-day sex symbol, he's the best dressed, best lookin' man out there. He doesn't go on the jet flyin' rant, Space Mountain WHOO, but he puts Jim Crockett and the Championship Challenge over instead, the kind of action you only get on the Superstation, hear that. Dusty's gonna get it when they rassle on Christmas, and since it's Christmas, Flair's in the season of giving. 300 dollars for Tony so Tony can take his wife and kids to dinner. Dinner must be good for the Schiavone's. 200 bucks for Magnum so he can buy some nicer clothes, and get this, a whopping 500 BUCKS for Dusty, so he can buy himself a ticket out of ATLANTA DADDY.   WHOO.   WHOO.   WHOO.   ___________________   Great stuff from Flair. Livened things up a bit, until this, anyway.   Ron Garvin and the Ragin' Bull vs. Black Bart and Thunderfoot, which is one of the worst gimmicks I've ever seen in my fucking life. He's dressed sorta like Radioactive Man, and I can't believe they previously had JJ Dillon with this clown. This match is part of the SuperStation Championship Challenge Series.   Blow-by-blow: Ragin' Bull has a deep cut on his forehead from the houseshow circuit that looks as if it's going to bust open any moment. It looks terrible. Garvin and Black Bart start, Garvin tries to throw Bart out but he holds on. Garvin works on the leg and tags Bull in, and he takes over the leg work with a splash to the leg of Bart, and a headbutt to the groin of Bart. Thunderfoot comes in and establishes himself as a real tough guy in the squared circle with a clothesline and an elbow drop. But he gets dumped and Bull tries to take Thunderfoot's boot off (What the fuck? I find out why later.) Bart comes back in and hits the Bull with a back elbow, and Bull bails out with a tag to Garvin. Garvin's terrible offense consists of a snapmare, a crucifix for a two count, a headscissor, and Teddy Long (still in there) breaks it up once Bart grabs hold of the ropes. Garvin steps on Black Bart's hand. Wow. Anyway, they both exchange chops, but Bart says no more of that, and Thunderfoot's in. A slam and elbow drop get a 1 count, and a headlock by Thunderfoot takes us to a commercial break.   Garvin doesn't know what selling is. Pitiful.   We're back, with Bart and Garvin inside the ring. Garvin with PUNCHES OF STONE and thankfully Bart no-sells it. Something we're seeing a lot of here. 2 of the guys in this match don't sell, and Thunderfoot has a mask, so he can't. It's like watching children wrestle in the living room. Thunderfoot grabs a tag-rope choke on Garvin, but thankfully this isn't the start of a heat sequence with Garvin as FIP, as Ragin' Bull gets in. He hits his third back elbow of the match, and gives a bodyslam and kneedrop from the second rope to Thunderfoot for a 2 count. Heat sequence time and I'm not going to recap that part, but once Thunderfoot gets in, a backbreaker is served up to Bull. Bull rages for a second, gives a suplay to Thunderfoot AND WE HAVE BLOOD, as the Ragin' Bull's cut on the forehead magically opens up. If I were to wager, I bet that blade-job left a scar. Words don't do it justice. This match is fuckin' terrible, so I'll skip ahead to Thunderfoot loading up his boot (and that's why the Bull tried to get TF's boot off, HIS FEET ARE ENDOWED WITH A POWER THAT CAN ONLY BE ATTRIBUTED TO THAT OF WCW THUNDER). From there, literally 2 seconds after the boot gets loaded up, Garvin tags in quickly with no build for a sunset flip off the top at 14:34 for the three count. Where to start with this mess? The match had no flow, and I'm really tempted to give it negative stars. I'll give it 1/2*, don't try that at home kids. Everyone will fall asleep and there'll be nobody to call an ambulance when you break your necks. I recommend a fastforward through this part if you plan on watching it. A complete waste of time.   ___________________   Crockett comes out and I fucking marked, as in the last installment of the SuperStation Championship Challenge next week, we will have a US TITLE MATCH BETWEEN MAGNUM FUCKING TA AND OLE ANDERSON. I don't care for Ole, but hot shit, that's going to be fun. Flair comes out and puts Crockett over again, and says he's pissed about not being a part of the action, but pesky old Ron Garvin's standing at the other side of the announce table, looking for some promo time. Uh-oh, you don't cut off the World's Champion, JACK. Flair and Garvin have words, mostly Flair, and Garvin says he wants to wrestle. Flair says, why wait when we can do it next week. Ric says he'll buy a whole hour from Turner and they'll do it. Bad as Garvin is, a Flair match is most certainly welcome. I don't know why anyone put a World Title on that clown.   ___________________   In match #8, the Rock N Roll Express face the other Mulkey, Randy, and Larry Clarke.   Rock and Roll chant halfway through a boring match, neckbreaker from Ricky Morton, and a backsuplex from Ricky Morton, and a sunset flip finishes at 6:49. Almost 7 minutes for a squash? Get out of here. 1/2*   ___________________   Magnum TA faces George South in a US Title match that will surely get a full recap. Magnum shoulderblocks him, press slam's him, and a side belly-to-belly finishes at 0:27. My kind of squash match. *.   ___________________   In the 10th match, of which there have been far too many, as this lacked a long 6 man tag like the last aired episode to speed things up, it's Arn Anderson vs. Josh Stroud.   This Stroud guy definitely has the "WWF look", he's roided to the gills. I'm surprised Vince didn't see this, hire him, and give him a push. Arn works the left arm for the full duration of the match, but it's not like Ole's match where it was literally ALL HE DID. Arn wants Dusty Rhodes in this very ring, a hammerlock slam leads to a Gourdbuster that finishes the match at 4:27. *   ___________________   Dusty Rhodes is bad, baby. Ric Flair's bad, Tully Blanchard's bad, the Russians are bad, the Barbarian is bad, Buddy Landel is bad, JJ Dillon is bad, the Andersons are bad, the Midnights are bad...ok, you get it, but nobody's as bad as Dusty Freakin' Rhodes, you hear me?   ___________________   In the last match, Ivan Koloff brings one of the Russians down with him as he faces Dan Turner.   Ivan dumps him in a hurry and JUMPS DOWN TO THE CONCRETE ON TURNER. Holy crap, he can fly. Koloff gives Turner a stiff looking swinging neckbreaker, but on the first Russian Sickle attempt he misses. Turner hits a crossbody for two, but you absolutely cannot fuck with Moscow, which leads to the ever-so-obvious Russian Sickle to finish at 3:58. The best match of this show, I shit you not. *1/2, mostly for the jump by Ivan to the studio floor.   ___________________   To finish, RIC FLAIR cuts ANOTHER PROMO, puts over Ivan Koloff, and says he's going to screw 8,000 women on Christmas morning. That's a visual. He ain't afraid of no Ron Garvin, and Dusty's gonna see what happens Christmas night, when Naitch' WALKS DOWN THAT AISLE and into the squared circle, it's gonna be lights for Rhodes.   ___________________     I rate the television shows this way. Great, good, above-average, decent, poor, bad, absolutely terrible. Teddy Long officiated EVERY SINGLE MATCH and the match in the middle of the show that can usually be counted on to deliver wasn't so hot. Terrible, at that. The squash matches were too long. Very little talent was used, what about the Midnights and Cornette? The Road Warriors? What about Billy Jack Haynes, who they were giving a decent push, and Terry Taylor? This show wasn't the same without Jimmy Valiant, sad to say. That's the type of character that should be on a squash show.       Rating: Bad.   Comments are welcome.
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Review: WWF One Night Only 1997, from Birmingham, England, 9/20/97

I'm not too happy with the Bengals losing right now, so here goes something to get that off my mind. The bolded are always the title matches, if that's what you're interested in.   We start off with a video package narrated by Jim Ross, it's about Bulldog's career accomplishments, and it shows the finish to Bret/Bulldog at Summerslam 92. Good stuff.   On commentary are the Three Stooges, Vince, JR, and Lawler. Can't stand Vince commentated shows, but since I'm reviewing, my mind is hardly on the announcing.   1st match, the "King of the Ring" Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna v. Dude Love.   Prematch: Kicks off with a cool Dude promo where Dude talks his jive and funkiness in an english accent. Corny, but it fits with the character. HHH comes out and Chyna has no tits. You know how those guys in the WWE folder call all the women trannies? Well, I wouldn't blame them in this case. She looks like she's packin' heat.   Blow-by-blow: A quick backdrop off a whip, and a slugfest in the corner for the quick start. DUDE'S TAKIN OVAH (sorry for the bWo reference) so HHH bails and gets clocked on his way in with a right. Dude starts some work on the left arm, then he does an armbreaker type thing and takes HHH down to the canvas. HHH fights him off, whips him in and tries a drop toe hold, but Dude jumps over it and gets his own. He gets a modified indian deathlock, works on that for a bit, and throws HHH into the buckle. HHH does a Flair flip and gets caught upside down. Love pounds on him and nails an elbow to the face of HHH. Dude TUNES UP THE BAND AND IT'S TIME FOR SWEET SHIN MUSIC DADDY, but HHH simply jumps over it (much like Dude jumped over the drop toe hold earlier) and bails to the outside. Dude chases him around and gets clocked by that strong man in HHH's corner Chyna with a clothesline, and she throws Dude back in the ring for his trouble. She picked him up with ease, at that. Then she helps HHH beat up Foley in the corner as he distracts the ref, then the signature H knee to face, and an abdominal stretch after another whip. HHH gets caught with his hand on the ropes for leverage, so Mike Chioda tells HHH to break. HHH argues with the official, but the official fights back and pushes HHH to the canvas. Back on the inside, Dude gets a bulldog for 2, then HHH gets a swinging neckbreaker for two off a reversal. He does that stupider than shit courtsey, so it's a good thing Dude slingshots him into the post, and rams his head three times into each turnbuckle (top, middle, bottom). An avalanche by Dude and then another one where HHH gets his foot up. It gets a 2 count. Don't know why the spot was repeated. Anyway, HHH goes up to the top and Dude goes all "fuck that shit", and armdrags HHH down from the top rope. Cool. Dude Love TUNES UP THE BAND AND IT'S TIME FOR SWEET SHIN MUSIC DADDY and this time he hits it, and adds a double-arm DDT to boot. During the pin, Chyna puts HHH's foot on the rope to save him. That bitch. Dude gets distracted, turns around, and gets Pedigreed to finish at 12:51. The Pedigree isn't the same without JR screaming GAWD DAMN PEDIGREE HE HIT IT HE HIT IT KING GAWD DAMMIT NEW CHAMP THAT SON OF A BITCH.   Match analysis: These two have pretty good chemistry and it showed. They both kept a good pace and the Chyna trash didn't affect the match in any negative way. I enjoyed it...***1/2.   _________________________     Here's a little segment where they have an interviewer ask people outside the arena who they think will win a match, in this case, they ask who's gonna win the European Title match later tonight. Oh YEAH.   2nd match, Leif Cassidy v. Tiger Ali Singh w/Tiger Jeet Singh.   Prematch: Fuck. What did I do to deserve a Tiger Ali Singh match. Guess I'll stop watching wrestling again.       Ok, I'm not going to do that. Sunny's the guest ring announcer, which no doubt played a part in this decision. Yeesh. Terrible music for both, as Tiger Ali brings Tiger Jeet with him, and Ali cuts a promo about being drug-free and some other shit, quite frankly, it sucks and I wasn't paying attention. Jeet cuts a promo of his own in Indian and I can't understand a word. I'm not going to call Snow "Cassidy" either. Bunch of "fuck that."   Blow-by-blow: King says something about both Tiger Ali and Tiger Jeet being taxi drivers...and in response, Tiger starts things off with some shitty looking punch, kick. Tighten it up, for fuck's sake. Ali gets a belly-to-belly which was the best move of this match BY FAR, and Al Snow hits a clothesline in respons. Spinning heel kick and an ARMBAR by Snow and Ali's selling of the move is terrible, as is he. Blown roll-up spot by Ali, then a blown pickup to place Snow on the top rope...but after a while Tiger finally gets him up there and delivers a bulldog for the pin at 4:06. Announcers dubbed it, "the Tiger Bomb." Whatever.   Match analysis: Tiger Ali Singh is terrible. Why waste words. 1/4* for the belly-to-belly.   ________________________     Before the next match, they show Austin costing Owen and Bulldog the tag team championship at Ground Zero. The winners of that bout, are the champions in this bout.   The 3rd match, is for THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD. The challengers are LOS BORICUAS, Savio and Miguel version and the champions are THE HEADBANGERS, THRASHER AND MOSH.   Prematch: I love Los Boricuas' music. Miguel Perez is hairy.   Blow-by-blow: Boricuas attack, but the Headbangers fight them off, when things shake out it's Perez and Mosh in there with Mosh giving an armdrag to Perez. Thrasher tags in and hits a clothesline on Perez from the 2nd rope. Savio tags in and he and Thrasher trade headlocks (3 for each) and Perez tags in. Savio catches Thrasher with a knee after Thrasher charges into the heel corner, then Savio comes in and gives him a NICE running leg lariat that puts Thrasher out on the floor. Thrasher's in trouble, as Savio and Miguel switch in and out after some punches and Mosh's attempt to break the doubleteam up. Nerve hold by Savio, and a false comeback off a crossbody gets 2 for Thrasher. Miguel gets a twisting senton and a standing moonsault for two as he tags in, and we GO BACK TO THE NERVE HOLD. Generic heel offense leads to a front face lock and subsequent fake hot tag, during the process Los Boricuas switch again, illegally. Miguel back in and A NERVE HOLD, THEN A CHINLOCK, knee to the stomach of Trasher and Savio gets in. He misses a splash, and there's a fake hot tag segment that fooled me. I had a mark moment and really thought Thrasher would get there. He's been in for 8 solid minutes at this point. Anyway, Thrasher finally gets SOMETHING with a sunset flip on Miguel that gets two, and a back suplex for Savio. FINALLY Mosh gets the hot tag and gives Los Boricuas the standard fare when a guy gets tagged in. A rana from the top by Mosh and a powerslam gets 2. The heels regain control as Perez hits a nice powerbomb on Thrasher, but Mosh comes off the top with the POWER OF HIS ASS for 3 at 13:25.   Match analysis: Kinda lame, but there was some good stuff in here. **1/4.   OK, from here, through Flash Funk v. The Patriot (*3/4), and Godwinns v. LOD (*1/2) is lost. I'm not reviewing those two boring matches again.     ________________________   Crappy Shamrock/Rockabilly sequence that they originally did on the 3/17/97 RAW. Waste of time.     ________________________   6th match, THE MAN THEY CALL VADER BAH GAWD v. Owen Hart w/the Canadian Flag.   Prematch: On his way to the ring, Owen drapes his Canadian flag over the heads of the commentators. Nice.   Blow-by-blow: Vader shows how strong he is and Owen bumps like a champ for it, in the process, Vader asserts himself as the heel in the bout. That's how you're supposed to work, adjust to the reaction you're getting and go from there. Owen gets a rana after forcing Vader to do a little running around, and a springboard crossbody off the turnbuckle gets 2 for Owen. He goes for the Sharpshooter, but Vader's too fat and not tired enough for Owen to pull it off. Vader's too big for Owen to suplex, so Vader tries his own that Owen reverses through and gets a rollup for 2. Smooooooth. Owen tries a crucifix but gets nailed with a samoan drop, so Vader drags Owen toward the buckle and gets a splash from the second rope (not the Vader Bomb) for two. Owen does the Bret© turnbuckle spot where he runs toward the turnbuckle at 100 mph, you know; he tries a bodyslam afterward but Vader is TOO FAT. Vader takes advantage of this situation and pulls out the rarely used armbar, and then the chinlock. Vader gets an avalanche and some submission work, an armbar, then a modified STF/halfcrab-ish thing. Owen has this fixation with SLAMMING Vader, but he can't this time after Vader misses an avalanhe, instead Owen whips Vader into the ropes and gets clotheslined for his efforts. Another modified halfcrab and a BIG splash for two. Vader tries a powerbomb, Owen attempts a kick and gets caught, so he pulls out the enziguri. Vader's down, Owen goes for the Sharpshooter. Teased finish as the hold is applied for a while, but Vader gets to the ropes. They get up and OWEN FINALLY SLAMS HIS FAT ASS for 2. They fight in the corner and with Owen down, it's Vader Time, Vader Bomb Time, as he goes up. He eats knees and a top rope dropkick from Owen. Leg lariat from off the ropes, and Owen has this seeming lack of focus and WILL TO WIN as he goes up to the top. Vader catches him on his way down and gives him a BIG POWERSLAM (Owen's head nearly bounces off the canvas) for the finish at 12:13. Owen should have went over, here.   Match analysis: I loved it. Good big man v. little man thing goin' on, and both guys really had their working boots on. One of Vader's last good matches in the WWF, I couldn't say if he's had any since. ***1/2.     ________________________   A video of Summerslam, when Shawn laid out UT to give Bret another WWF Championship.   The 7th match is for THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. The challenger is from DEATH VALLEY, it's some guy called THE UNDERTAKER and the champion is this other guy from CALGARY named BRET THE BEST THERE IS BEST THERE WAS AND BEST THERE EVER WILL BE EXCELLENCE OF EXECUTION THE HITMAN HART.   Prematch: UT cuts a promo about resting in peace and all that jazz, lots of lighters flickering as per usual on his entrance with the lights off.   Blow-by-blow: The action is fast and furious, I kept up as best as I could until it slowed down a bit. Bret starts strong but UT stops things with a choke toss, knees to the gut in the turnbuckle, and a choke in the corner. As the official damns UT straight to hell for daring to use a choke, Bret unties the turnbuckle pad, leaving the buckle exposed. Bret can't get a hiptoss, so UT clotheslines him straight to the canvas for 2. UT misses an elbow drop, so Bret goes for the Sharpshooter. He can't get it, so on UT's way back up, Bret hits him with a clothesline, then he dumps UT and hits him with a quick baseball slide that drives UT into the announce table. Bret tries an axhandle from the second rope, but gets caught and spinebustered on the padding. They fight up the entrance aisle and UT gains the edge with a slam and a choke. Bret plays "I'm out on my feet" and UT guides him back to the ring and tosses him in. Punches and a side headlock by the big, dead guy, then he sends Bret into the ropes and is hit with a running DDT by Hart. 3 elbows to the leg by the Hitman, but UT no-sells the elbows and sits-up. Bret rakes UT's face across the top rope and chokes him, but UT gets the edge. The camera focuses on the turnbuckle pad, and sure enough, Bret does his spot and runs 100 mph into the exposed turnbuckle. He's having chest pain, so logically, UT delivers a HEART PUNCH (!) and elbows to the chest that get a 2 count. UT gets a crucifix for 2, then hits Bret with a backbreaker-turned-backbreaker submission. Drops him, but the cover only gets 2. Bret starts to work on the left knee and it's surprisingly SOLD for a LONG TIME by Taker, as Taker fails a charge to the exposed buckle, and his knee's about to tear, he's about to die again, and he's going to get buried alive.     Seriously though, Bret goes to work on the left knee, and once he ain't feelin' it anymore, UT can't stand up. Bret sees it, loves it, and starts again. He drags him to the ringpost and puts on the MOTHERFUCKING RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR, and Chioda says "no more of that", so Bret gets up, drags Taker to the middle of the ring, and applies it regularly. The crowd gets a "Rest in Peace" chant going, so Taker rises up from the death, gathers the power of the creatures of the night and reverses the Figure-Four. This goes on for a while and finally Bret gets to the rope. Taker sells the leg really well whilst buidling some offense, he misses a big boot with the right foot (cause he can't get the left leg in the air, see) and Bret goes back to the left leg with a kick to it on the big boot miss. When I say go back to the leg in this sense for this match, I mean the simple leglock they use in the Smackdown! series of games. Wrap UT's leg around the knee of Bret, and the like. UT tries to apply a chinlock while Bret's head is near UT's arms, but UT can't, so he tries to slug away instead. The Excellence of Execution begins with russian leg sweep.suplex.backbreaker.elbow from the second rope. NO, WAIT. Some variation, with UT getting his boot up in Bret's face so the elbow doesn't come down. They both stagger to their feet, and they each hit a clothesline for a well-deserved 8-count rest. UT up first, and he uses his right leg for a legdrop to the sack of Bret, but Bret grabs on, reverses and grabs the Sharpshooter, but UT kicks him off into the ropes and Bret responds with a headbutt to the abdominal area. Taker grabs a choke (which I believe was him looking for the chokeslam) and gets kicked in the leg, but he no-sells it   TIMEOUT. First time the Freakin' Undertaker, king of the no-sell no-sold that leg all match. Must be some kind of record.   and hits a big boot. Legdrop with the right leg for UT gets a 2 count. Bret goes to the outside and grabs the ringbell. UT boots him in the gut and Taker decides he wants to give the bell a go, but the referee snatches it out of his hands. Taker's pissed, but he sees Bret on his way back up and dumps him. He whips Bret into the stairs, they go back in and Bret does this spot where he gets whipped toward the exposed turnbuckle, but instead of taking another blow from the buckle to the chest, he slides down and takes a big ram-slide into the post. I don't know how many people noticed it, but it's an awesome added thing to the match. UT grabs the arm and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but Bret armdrags him off the top rope. UT attempts a Tombstone, but Bret rolls him up for two. They do another Tombstone reversal sequence with Bret attempting it first, but this time UT gets through, has him in Tombstone position, and in a spot that looked kinda contrived, he drops Bret through the ropes, tying him up by his head. Taker beats Hart up while in the ropes, and the referee decides he's going to disqualify UT at 28:31, by way of the almost never-used, you had 5 and didn't break, match over spot. Chioda gets chokeslammed, Brisco goes down to help untie Bret, and he gets chokeslammed, Owen gets Bret out of there, and UT chases them to the back. Apparently Tim is Impotent. Sorry Tim. As the ring announcer calls the decision, UT makes his way toward him. Poor guy. Announcer gets out of dodge, and that's it. What a fucking match, and Bret keeps his title.   Match analysis: What can one say about this match. Find it. Watch it. Record it and keep it. It's so easy to just dismiss this as a carryjob by Bret, but that's fucking bullshit. UT busted his ass, and he showed what he could do when he wasn't in there with a slug. The guy can work, period. BY FAR, this is The Undertaker's best match. I'd have given it ***** if UT hadn't no-sold the leg and if there was a legit finish to the match. As it stands, it's hard to believe anything on this show could top it. Right here, the show should have been over. Should have been. ****1/2 for the best match I've watched in a long time.   ________________________   HBK promo about winning the Grand Slam (WWF, Intercontinental, Tag, and European Titles)...yadayadayadayada, it was better when Sunny was with you.   In the Main Event, from Birmingham, England, "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels v. "The British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith, for the European Championship, in this very ring, ON THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF THIS VERY SPORT.   Prematch: Davey's terminally ill sister comes out with him, and HBK does some quality heeling by breaking a kid's Bulldog figure. These two have history, as well. Crowd is rabid for Davey, and HBK is getting a sorta-pop. For now.   Blow-by-blow: Shawn somehow gets to the top, he winds up being tossed off, chopblocked and dumped over the top by Davey. I didn't know I was watching a MONGO match. Shawn with some rights on the apron, but he gets thrown in the hard way and military pressed as Davey parades around the ring. Hebner pleads for Davey not to throw Michaels into the crowd in a Bam Bam v. Spike esque moment. Davey gets an abdominal stretch after an irish whip, Shawn gets a hipblock of that and HBK takes a huge back body drop bump to the outside. In the hard way, Davey armdrags him (I thought we were done with that shit) and then gives him an armdrag press (you know, when a guy has someone in an armbar and lifts them over their head. If anyone knows what that is, I'd appreciate finding out). Shawn stalls for a bit, then takes some shoulderblocks around the ring. He runs to three sides of the ring in the process, getting shoulderblocked twice, but on the third time, he pokes Davey in the eye. Nice. Shawn tries a rana, but gets a sitout powerbomb instead, a samoan drop and then a surfboard. Davey's shoulders are down for two in the process (I don't know why, but Davey calls Hebner a son of a bitch after the count. I guess he thought Hebner was going to screw him, and this is before the screwjob. Weird little moment.) Afterward, Davey gives Shawn a delayed vertical suplex, and RICK RUDE, "THE INSURANCE POLICY" is on his way to the ring. Davey and Shawn do a rollup reverse sequence, and Shawn gets two out of it after Rude tips the rollup in favor of Shawn. Rude with some interference while Shawn distracts the ref, and Shawn goes to the top and hits an axehandle all the way to the floor. More Rude interference, and on the inside, Shawn gives Davey a back elbow and follows with a sleeper. Davey powers out and hits him with a nice back suplex for 2. HBK puts DBS hard to the buckle, and then hiptosses him and applies a short-arm scissors. Davey powers out in a nice-looking sequence that makes Davey look like a strongman, and uses a modified electric chair drop. They both collide, and HHH and CHYNA are on their way to the ring. Davey backdrops Shawn, tosses him to the buckle, then a Flair flip by Shawn as he gets tripped and slingshot into the post for two. Shawn turns the tide after a failed charge by Smith and slams Davey, then up to the top for an elbow. He nails it. HE TUNES UP THE BAND FOR SWEET CHIN MUSIC, but SWEET CHIN MUSIC misses, so Davey goes for THE POWERSLAM OF THE UNION JACK, but Rick Rude holds his leg and they dump to the outside. HHH can't help Shawn, HHH takes a clothesline from Davey. Davey blows THE POWERSLAM, HAIL BRITTANIA on the outside (I'm not sure if it was a blown spot, so *'s won't come off, but it sure looked like it) as his foot gets caught between the padding on the outside of the ring and the barricade separating that from the seating. Commence the overbooking. HHH and Rude work the barricade to make it look like they're doing damage, but they're really trying to get Davey's leg out, and once Davey gets up it's SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and then a PEDIGREE by HHH, and they put Davey back in. Here's where shit gets out of hand, so I'm going to separate this from the review. The guys in the ring and the promotion crossed the fucking line.   Once inside, Shawn pulls Davey's knee brace off and throws it to Diana Hart/Smith. I believe he says "this is for you," and if he did, kinda fucked. Anyway, Shawn applies a figure-four leglock, and uses HHH to hold onto for leverage. Davey bites the BLOOD CAPSULE and is capsuling out of his mouth, so sayeth the Three Stooges. After about three minutes of the figure-four and HHH and Chyna grabbing HBK for leverage, HHH distracts the ref and Rick Rude clocks Davey in the head, and Davey passes out at 22:53. The new European Champion is Shawn Michaels. Once the match is stopped, HBK FUCKING BURIES the Bulldog on the stick, knowing full well DBS can't do shit about it or he'll get fired, then HBK BURIES his terminally-ill sister, and HHH follows with it. There's trash all over the ring, and kids, THAT'S HOW YOU KILL A TOWN. Diana runs in the ring and tries to help Davey (worked-shoot or what, I have no idea), but she can't do a thing, so the Harts save. How's Davey's sister supposed to know whether or not these words are a shoot or work. She sure looked like she wouldn't be able to tell. HHH carries HBK out of the ring with the belt as they both yell, TRIPLE THREAT BAYBAY, HBK's got his Grand Slam, a town is killed, and not a single soul goes home happy. The face reaction for HBK is completely gone. What would soon be Degeneration-X celebrate on the ramp as the show ends.   Match analysis: Techincally, the match was sound until the overbooking. Complete and total fucking overkill once it hit that point. I really don't know how to rate the match. Post-match disgusted me, and it probably would have been better if Davey lost clean. EVERYONE involved should be ashamed of themselves. Yeah, I know the reason for it being this way, but at a point it crossed the line between what is acceptable and what isn't. Disgraceful.   Oh yeah, the match. **** for that, as I was diggin' it until the end. The finish had kept Davey strong, but not like it mattered. He got buried quickly after.     As for the whole show, I'm giving it ***3/4. It's a must watch, with UT's best match, one of Bret's last great matches, and a good Bulldog match with a pivotal moment in WWE history. And it has Dude Love. For the negatives, Tiger Ali Singh. At times it drags, but you can FF through it. ____________________________             Ok, whew, I got through the Big Ones section this time. That's the hard part. If you don't like long reviews, my style probably isn't for you. Suggestions, comments, concerns, recommendations, pretty much anything is welcome. I'll be doing the MNW separately, and the NWA and WCCW reviews should be fun.
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Review: WWF from the Boston Garden, 9/7/85

Wow, this is older than me. Full review this time, and if I'm feelin' it, same for One Night Only tomorrow or Tuesday. If I'm not feelin' it, a truncated version will have to do.   Gorilla and Jesse on commentary, thank goodness. Can't stand when they edit Jesse out of these...   1st match, "Leaping" Lanny Poffo v. Iron Mike Sharpe.   Prematch: ....   Blow-by blow: Sharpe wants the ring announcer to introduce him as the Best Canadian something or other, so they re-do his ring entrance. No poem from Lanny, for shame. 2 minutes of wasted time and a monkey flip and three dropkicks starts it off for Poffo, a quick kip-up, and a cross-body gets two. Poffo's a house of fire, so he gets three arm drags and Sharpe reverses the arm-wringer into a head scissor. Poffo stands on his head, does some gay split-legged, bicycle riding shit, and gets out of the scissor. Some SLOW armwork by Sharpe leads to a hammerlock reversal by Poffo, and Sharpe breaks it. Poffo gets an enziguri, they brawl on the outside as this just feels like a draw, and Poffo gets a sunset flip for one on his way in, as the ref counts SLOW AS FUCK. Speed that shit up, son. Punches for 2 minutes (yes, I timed these times which seem randomly arbitrary, and they aren't random so nyah), and Sharpe misses an ugly dropkick. Real ugly. Poffo does a front flip off the top for a slow 2, then a standing front flip onto Sharpe for another 2 count, and then a standing MOONSAULT IN 1985! for 2 more. Seems like a build to a finish, but Sharpe kills that with a knee and shoulderblock, Poffo gets a small package on a bodyslam reversal for 2, another cradle for 2 and the "20 minute" time limit expires at around 17 minutes. Poffo gives Sharpe a small beating at the end and Sharpe bails to the back.   Match analysis: I can't stand time-limit draws, and this was no exception. They screwed around for about 10 minutes and brought some good stuff at the end. To be kind, I'll give them **.   2nd match, Rene Goulet v. King Tonga.   Prematch: Goulet is the man with the GLOVE OF SHINING DIAMONDS, but he removes said glove and brings out a bowling glove. Huh? King Tonga is Haku, btw. Obviously...   Blow-by-blow: Stalling (sigh), and Tonga gets a beel as Goulet stops screwing around. A takedown, arm-wringer and strikes follow, as Tonga gets punched in the head to stop it. But Islanders have hard heads, see; as Jesse points out, so it doesn't affect King Tonga. Boring chant gets started (and I don't blame them), and Tonga gets a snapmare for two. Whip in and Goulet gets a pretty good clothesline in on Tonga, and Goulet applies THE CLAWWWWW. More boring chants. Goulet grabs something out of his tights and whaps King Tonga upside his head with it. Goulet then bites him, and applies the claw. Haku Tonga breaks it up with some karate strikes, and throws Goulet into the turnbuckle for a Flair Flip. A back suplex from Tonga gets two, but a nice superkick and crossbody from the top finishes for King Tonga at 9:33. I did some fact checking on the times, but I like mine better.   Match analysis: Sucked, no heat, boring, sucked, no heat. Goulet is obviously near the end of the line at this point. 3/4*.   3rd match, Moondog Spot[/i ] v. [i]Corporal Kirchner.   Prematch: Spot's holding a bone and I like Kirchner's music. The beret is sorta ghey.   Blow-by-blow: Kirchner starts off with a dropkick to send Spot out, as soon as Spot gets back in, his ass eats an atomic drop to send him back out. Kirchner gets an armdrag and legdrop on the right arm and puts some more work in. Spot breaks it up with a knee to the head, but Kirchner sends him into the corner for a monkey flip. Now Kirchner starts working on the left (I absolutely can't stand when someone does this) arm and Kirchner says forget it, and gives him some shoulder and a crossbody for 2. They wind up on the floor, and Spot throws Kirchner into the barricade, knocking the barricade over. I liked that part. Chinlock on the inside from Spot, power out by the Cpl, and both guys miss elbows, a nice sunset flip by Kirchner gets two. A small dead period here, and when it's done, Spot comes off the 2nd rope with a fist to the head of Kirchner. Back to the chinlock...then a stomachbreaker by Moondog Spot. Back to the chinlock....and Kirchner starts his comeback. Hiptoss, another monkey flip, and a double clothesline to kill it. I got the feeling there was going to be a draw, but Spot tries a slam and it's reversed into a cradle by Corporal Kirchner for the fall at 14:51.   Match analysis: If you haven't noticed, I know how to make shitty matches sound decent. This one was terrible. Another 3/4*.   4th match, Swede Hanson vs. The Missing Link!!!!!   Prematch: I have a confession to make. I've never, EVER seen a Missing Link match. Hopefully I won't be disappointed.   Blow-by-blow: Headbutts by Link, 2 backrakes by Missing Link, 3 backslaps by Link, and another headbutt by The Missing Link to start out. Punchy, kicky and a headbutt for Swede. Missed headbutt by Link, but he gets an elbow drop and another headbutt. Then a springboard headbutt for Link, and on his way back up, Swede gives him a nutshot and a scoop slam. Some legwork on Link's left leg, and a knee lift as he gives up the legwork. Link headbutts him some more, and The Missing Link hits a headbutt off the 2nd rope to finish at 5:35.   Match analysis: Ugh. Color me disappointed. Nothing but headbutts. DUD.   The 5th match is for the WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION BAH GAWD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD. The challenger is King Kong Bundy w/Jimmy Hart and the champion is HULK MF HOGAN.   Prematch: Danny Davis is the ref, and he's sporting a nice little fro. King Kong Bundy is looking decidedly less mean than he did in months afterward, and it's always weird (for me anyway) to see Hart not wearing a special jacket for his charge. Hulk Hogan comes out to a freakin' gigantic pop, probably one of the 5 loudest and longest. I've heard for him. They love him in Boston. Hogan's wearing white, and I believe we all know what that means. If you don't, you will. Hogan's also American Made. The only things I dislike about the houseshows are the lack of rambling promos in the prematch, and Hillbilly Jim. I hate Hillbilly Jim. Anyway.   Blow-by-blow: Hulk's the irresistable force meeting the immovable object, as he gets a big head of steam and runs into Bundy. Bundy doesn't move the first time, so Hulk decides he's going to give him a knee lift for his pleasure the second time 'round and knocks Bundy down quick. Hogan tries to slam Bundy, but it fails and Bundy falls on him for a close two. Big elbow drop by Bundy and Bundy gives him a splash for two. Hogan gets up and gives Bundy some head smashes into the turnbuckle, a whip to the other side and Hogan gives him a HUGE clothesline to put Bundy's fatass on the ground. Bundy catches Hogan in the gut as Hogan's about to go to work, and King Kong takes Hulk over. He chokes him and goes to a chinlock. Hogan powers out quickly and attempts a wristlock reversal. It goes well for a few seconds, but Bundy clocks him, snapmare's Hogan over, an elbow drop and back to the chinlock. Quick break again leads to a bearhug that eats up a minute of the match. The star ratings come off, because the match was really goin' up to this point. Monsoon calls Hulk Hogan, "the People's Champ (now where have I heard that?)." A fake Hulk-up gets Hogan a clothesline and kneedrop for his troubles. Cover gets two, as Bundy decides it's time to finish things up. Whip into the turnbuckle and Bundy goes for the Avalanche. He nails it, but the big splash afterward only gets 2. Another Avalanche and an elbowdrop gets 2, and it's Hulk-up time. 3 punch, boot, Bundy doesn't go down, running elbow, and the atomic drop is what gets Bundy down. Hart finally gets involved and eats the power of Hulkamania. He gets on the apron again and tosses the megaphone to Bundy. Megaphone shot leads to a DQ for Bundy and Hogan retains his title at 8:58. Hogan does a decent blade-job (that's why he was wearing white, btw) cleans out the ring, does some posing and that's that. The crowd is dead from here, just as they were dead before this match.   Match analysis: I loved it. Heat was off the charts, and the time of the rest holds was kept to a minimum. No doubt MOTN, **1/4 for the affair. Got Bundy over as a threat (because Hogan never hit the legdrop, and never had a chance to, at that), and next month's show in Boston finished what was started in September. I feel bad for whoever stayed after this.     6th match, SD Jones v. Adrian Adonis.   Prematch: This is before Adrian's gay gimmick, as he comes to the ring wearing biker garb. It hides his fat well, as one can see when it is disposed of. He's gigantic. He has the Yankees logo on his boots, getting over the whole, "from Hell's Kitchen" thing.   Blow-by-blow: Adonis swings his belt at SD, and SD somehow gets it back, but he doesn't take a swing although Adonis turns his back and vacates. They trade hammerlocks as Jones takes him over, but Adonis gets up and gives him a shoulderblock and nice drop toe hold. Starts with the legwork, but Jones hits a monkey flip and an armdrag as there's a disturbance in the crowd. They trade punches for a bit to let the commotion die down, and Adonis does an Albert type slingshot/decapitation into the ropes and SD sells the neck well. Adonis won't let SD in unless it's the hard way, and the hard way is a suplex in by Adonis. It gets a 2 count. Goodnight Irene for Jones, but it's not over as Jones does the babyface powerup. SD gives Adonis a nice Special Delivery headbutt, then he delivers big ol' Adrian into the ropes and Adonis does a nice tie-up spot. I've never seen that one before. It was a backflip out of the ring, but Adrian tied his hands into the ropes, leaving the entire front of the body open for shots as he's on his knees. Nice stuff. Adonis gets out and turned upside down as he's whipped into the buckle, but SD's comeback doesn't last for long, as he whips AA into the ropes for a "reverse bulldog," as Monsoon would say, but really, it's a DDT by Adonis for the win at 8:07. My times aren't like the listed ones because even if the bell's rang, if a guy doesn't have his garb off and nothing's going on, I don't time it.   Match analysis: Strong work by Adonis. Not much more than a glorified squash of Jones, but both guys did a good job. *1/2. The match was harmless, and guys in the current 'E' would do well to learn from this. Wrestling isn't just about hitting spots.   7th match, Desiree Peterson v. Leilani Kai   Prematch: Nothing much of note here, but they announced Desiree Peterson as being from Copenhagen. Come on.   Blow-by-blow: Starts off with 2 dropkicks from Peterson and Kai tries to bail. She can't, as she gets beeled back in. A nice flying headscissor from Peterson and one of them (I honestly forgot) makes the other one spread their legs in a submission move. I forgot who it was, because I was so surprised to see it. Really, WTF? A nice drop toe hold from Peterson, then a half crab, arm-wringer and then legdrop on the arm. Monkey flip by Peterson, but Kai turns the tide with a hairmare and an eye rake against the ropes. Chokes and crap to Peterson, a blown double underhook once, but re-do the spot again and Kai gets it for a SSSSSLLLLLOOOOWWW two. Goodness, what's in the water tonight. Every ref but Davis has been slow as hell. 2 fist drops get two for Kai, but Peterson pulls out an abdominal stretch on an irish whip reversal. Poor Peterson, she can't catch a break as Kai goes to work with some back rakes. Two big throws by Kai and a scoop slam. Good dropkick by Peterson coming off the whip, then she picks Kai up and gives her a backdrop followed by a slam. Failed splash by Peterson, but she decides to go up to the top. Peterson gets three after a BIG flying dropkick. No time, but it was longish.   Match analysis: Dead crowd. Dead me. It's going to take much better than that effort to get my attention. *1/2, it could have been much better.       Now, for the Main Event of the Evening, a 6 Man Tag, it's the current WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, The Dream Team, Valentine and Beefcake with Johnny V as their third man, and the team of Pedro Morales, Ivan Putski, and Uncle Elmer, and they're accompanied by Cousin Junior and Hillbilly Jim   Prematch: This shit is going to suck. The hillbilly that can actually put in a decent match is on the outside, Putski is an old man roided to the gills, and I don't care much for Morales. With Johnny V and Beefcake on the other side, that'll be bad for teh snowflakes. Junior does some redneck dance and we're underway.   Blow-by-blow: Literally, nothing happens for 5 minutes. They're starting at -* and have to work their way up. Valentine and Elmer finally go to work, and Elmer sends Valentine down with a weak right, so he does it again and this time it looks better. Shoulderblock by Elmer and a choke toss, and Elmer wants Beefcake, so Beefcake tags in. He taunts Hillbilly, and during that Putski tags in with some POLISH POWER and works over the heels with some POLISH POWERED PUNCHES. Tag to Morales, and the faces are doing well for themselves now that Elmer's out. They're out of negative territory. Double noggin-knocker for Johnny V and Beefcake, but the heels take over quickly. A Beefcake slam and then the camera cuts to a sign that says "Brutus Beefcake loves Greg the Faggot Valentine." Exactly as it was written, I shit you not. Got a laugh out of me, if only because I wasn't expecting it. That isn't the only reason, it's also because this show has really tried my patience. Back to the action, as Valentine tags in, misses an elbow and Pedro starts to go to work. Lefts for Valentine, but Johnny V catches Morales and sets him up for Valentine. Valentine misses and hits Johnny V with a good looking right. No big deal, Valentine didn't forget about Morales. He stops that assault and tags in Johnny V, who definitely wants a piece of Morales. Some weak offense by Valiant, but Putski decides he wants to break it up anyway. The ref gets in the way (I think it's Davis again), and Valiant grabs a front facelock on Morales. A false hot tag, and the heels do a switch, as Valentine takes over. Couple elbows and a few two counts, but Morales kicks out. Legwork by the Hammer leads to a Figure 4, but fatass Elmer breaks it up. Pedro sneaks through the legs of one of the heels and tags Putski. POLISH POWER leads to a schmoz, and Pedro rolls up Johnny V although neither of them were the legal man. Gay. The Hillbillies, sans Elmer, dance in the ring to end the show, as the broadcast portion goes out with a shot of Monsoon and Ventura saying good things about Boston.   Match analysis: 5 minutes of nothing doesn't cut it for me. *1/4. If I were to ignore the nothing portion of the match, I'd give it 1/2 a star more. Elmer is useless, and Beefcake doesn't do much. Beefcake didn't play a big part, so that was nice.   Bad show that gets a * star rating, but it's not as bad as Hardcore Heaven. Despite the poor rating for this, Hardcore Heaven was simply inexcusable, as wrestling was in a state that could produce far better matches. Not only that, I expected more out of Hardcore Heaven. I knew all I was going to get out of this was Bundy v. Hogan, and while I believe that was easily the best match with by far the most heat, it's not enough. Watch for historical purposes, prepare to FF. Not good.   Comments and suggestions are welcome. My bad reviews will probably be longer than the good ones, but then again, I haven't reviewed anything good so far. Keep the hits comin', as I can't keep up the 2 reviews per day pace forever.   I thought it would be easier than this, but it's a guaranteed two hour entry for each one I write. It shouldn't be like this for the TV shows or PPV's, but for house shows it's tough. I'll keep 'em comin' until it isn't fun anymore, which won't be for a while.
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Hardcore Heaven 1997...wait, wrestling? What?

In case you're wondering why I'm posting a review of some rasslin' shit, it's because I actually started watching it again. No, not the current WWE product. I couldn't watch that shit if I tried. Rather, their 24/7 on demand channel. I never thought I'd watch wrestling again, but I got sucked back in. Once my cable company picked up this channel, I couldn't help it.   I'm reviewing this stuff mainly for my own amusement, but also for those that don't have the channel and haven't seen these events before. Starting next week, I'm going to write full reviews, with blow-by-blow and the like. But, this batch of shows in the Big Ones section is going to be reviewed in a short form. No blow by blow, just my general thoughts on the match and ratings. I'm not going to sit through this show again and take notes, and if you're reading, you'll soon find out why. Take these short reviews as a test run for me to smooth out some kinks, they aren't going to be perfect. Anyhow....   ECW Hardcore Heaven 1997, from Fort Lauderdale, FL.   A Rick Rude sighting to start out and a shitty promo to come with it, as he introduces Chris Candido.   For the ECW TV Title: Taz (c.) w/Bill Alfonso v. Chris Candido.   First note, the dubbed music on these shows sucks. Terry Funk's is unintentionally hilarious (no, I don't know if it was dubbed or not), but, my thoughts on the match.   Match didn't work for me. Lots of sloppy spots and a finish I didn't particularly care for. Quite possibly the best match on the show, unfortunately. Not too long, not too short. Finish seemed sorta rushed, as it went from Taz hitting a few moves, Candido hitting a move, putting Taz up on the turnbuckle, Taz "waking up", and Taz choking Candido out with the Tazmission. Gay. I don't think much of Taz as a worker, he doesn't sell anything and has little in-ring psychology. For the rating...**. I've seen much worse.   They showed a little clip of the Insane Clown Posse getting the shit kicked out of them by RVD and Sabu (in a suit, huh? I don't figure him as the suit wearing type.), with Fonzie carrying Sabu's World Title and blowing his whistle as per usual. And it gets on my nerves after a while. This leads to something later.   2nd match, Bam Bam Bigelow v. Spike Dudley in a "Revenge Match".   I don't know what the "Revenge Match" billing is for, and I'm not going to pretend that I do. Almost everything they show on this channel, I haven't watched. Spike gets beat up and does a blade-job. Not much to see here, except for the vicious powerbomb toward the end. Bam Bam finished with a Bam Bam sault, not a true moonsault because he doesn't do a flip, more like a 360 turn splash or something. 1/2*. I liked Bam Bam's techno music.   To follow up on the ICP angle/clip/whatever, Sandman comes to the ring to help them out, gets the shit kicked out of him by RVD and Sabu, and does an ambulance job. More later.   3rd match, Al Snow v. "Mr. Monday Night" RVD w/Bill Alfonso in a "Monday Night Rules Match."   Terrible match. I really enjoy Al Snow's work, but it didn't do anything for me here. Couple blown spots by both guys, pointless stipulation, and no heat. When they hit their spots, it was nice. They didn't hit enough of them. The best spot was the first long running clothesline from Snow, as he ran the full length of the entrance aisle to pickup steam. No heat on any of the matches so far, I noticed. At best, decent, that's if I'm being kind, and this show put me in a rotten mood. Nearly fell asleep twice. *1/2, finished with a VanDaminator. I tuned out the whistling this time.   Next, one of three "Extreme Chopper" segments where they follow the Sandman after he "stole/tookover" the ambulance and is on his way back to the arena. A waste of money on ECW's part, it's a terrible segment. I don't know if this angle got "rave reviews" back in the day or not, but if it did, it absolutely DOES NOT hold up.   4th match, the Dudleys (c.) w/Joel Gertner, Big Dick, Sign Guy Dudley and Jenna Jameson v. PG-13, ring announcer didn't say if it was a tag title match or not, so I'll guess not.   Passable. I liked it, but the ring entrances (not just for this match) are WAY too long, and the dubbed music sucks. Kinda kills my enjoyment of the show, but I don't know if things would have been different had the show actually been worth a shit up to this point. Jenna Jameson is with the Dudleys, and I think she looks pretty good here. Hard to say when you know how things change, isn't it? 3D finishes PG-13, two unfunny white boys that couldn't cut their pre-match promo for shit. **.   2nd "Extreme Chopper" segment. Fastforward....oh wait. End of part one. I waited two days before watching part two, which I just finished, so my memory is much fresher.   5th match, Jerry Lawler vs. Tommy Dreamer w/Beulah.   Lawler cut this same promo during part 1. It was terrible the first time, FF worthy the next. Match went like this. Brawl on outside, two minutes in, blade-job Lawler, brawl, ok, enough of 3 word descriptions. After they brawl for a bit, lights go out, and Rick Rude hits Dreamer with a trash can when the lights come back on. Not the fake, paper-thin kind they use now, this one's thicker and looks like it could do a little damage. I don't remember at which point this happened, but Lawler ripped off Tommy's shirt. Well, now I know why Tommy wears a shirt. He has bitch-tits from past steroid abuse. He's off the juice, as one could see, and packing some extra pounds. They brawl some more, and the lights go out again. This time, JAKE THE FUCKING SNAKE ROBERTS is out there when the lights come on and does a little work to both Lawler and Dreamer, eventually DDT'ing Dreamer. More brawl, and the lights go out again! Come on. This time, Sunny's in the ring, gives Dreamer some hair-spray and has a little cat-fight roll around with Beulah, and then Tommy hits the DDT on Lawler for the win. Overbooked crap, and, if you noticed, that's close to a full review, as these guys didn't do much worth noting otherwise. Nearly treaded into negative star territory, but I'll give it a DUD. I liked ECW, but this show sucks.   Sandman beats up some cops as he gets back to the arena, this was led in by another "Extreme Chopper" segment, which I fastforwarded past. Lance Wright was giving commentary on these shitty segments, btw.   6th match, Sabu (c.) w/Bill Alfonso vs. "The Franchise" Shane Douglas w/Francine vs. Terry Funk, in a Three Way Dance for the ECW Heavyweight Championship of the World.   I'm going to give this a two part review, as the match drastically changed (in what way, you'll see) when the first participant left the match. Hilarious country dub to Funk's music, the lyrics of the song were great.   Part 1: Sabu hit some nice spots, fucked up one spot where he stepped on a chair to do a moonsault and it bent downwards, causing him to call into the ropes. It got a nice "You Fucked Up" chant from the fans (loudest they've been all night, sad really) which I always love to hear. First run-in is Tod Gordon, who makes his way down as Alfonso helps Sabu set-up a table. A bit of brawling leaves Sabu stuck up on the top rope for about a minute and a half, then Gordon and Alfonso get put on the table and driven through it by a Sabu legdrop. Then Sandman runs in and hits Sabu with a ladder, leading to Sabu getting pinned by both Douglas and Funk.   Stop here. Do not watch the rest of the match. This part gets **1/4, undoubtedly the best match on the show. Up to that point, anyway.   Part 2: Ok, now, after Sabu gets pinned, the match gets ignored for 2 or 3 minutes as Sabu and Sandman commence brawling to the back. Douglas and Terry Funk are the ones left, if you haven't noticed. My main problem with everything after the pin is that the champion is the one whose been eliminated, but the thing is, all the focus was taken off the actual TITLE FIGHT when Sandman and Sabu began brawling. It upstaged the match in the ring, but on second thought, that may have been a good thing. The rest really sucked. Bit of brawling as Funk hits himself in the head with a garbage can on the outside, purposefully, at that. Dory Funk comes out (now this is the loudest part of the show), and nails Douglas in the head a few times, FF about a minute, and the Franchise hits the Belly-to-Belly, becoming the NEW ECW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. This part gets *, giving the match a full rating of *3/4. Bad math, I know.   Joel Gertner hits the ring after Douglas puts a sound ass-whoopin on Funk for a minute, and asks Shane to leave the Triple Threat and join a new stable, the Triple Crown, with both Buh Buh and and D-Von. Bam Bam and Candido (the other members of the Triple Threat) hit the ring, and commence brawling. There were guys (the FBI among others)that I didn't mention standing in the entrance aisle , they join in and get their asses wiped out (I should use a different figure of speech next time, huh) by both teams, this goes on for too long, and someone else hits the ring. It's Balls and Axl Rotten, they get beat up, so New Jack and Kronus gotsta hit the ring and turn the tide. Saturn follows on a bad leg and hits an elbow from the top. Celebrate, yadayadayada and the face groups grab Gertner from the outside and give him a nice, clean concussion chairshot and the shows over.   What a fucking waste of 3 hours. I'll never watch this crap again. The crowd didn't get involved, the matches sucked, the angles sucked, basically everything sucked. Too many run-ins in each match killed any flow the show had going, on top of that, the garbage wrestling ECW brought to the table tonight didn't offer anything. Un-entertaining. Was ECW testing to see how many PPV viewers they'd lose in November, as each performance was mailed in. If the talent doesn't give a crap, I don't give a crap.   *1/2 rating for the whole thing, not worth watching unless you've never seen it.   I'll do something else soon, and like I said, once 24/7 gets updated, full reviews are on the way of the MNW and NWA show. At my own pace though, I'm not rushing through anything. Until next time...
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The Lakers look like dick tonight.

The game's going on as I write this, so some of my opinions that I type before the end will stay unedited, and be commented on later in the entry.   Kobe's only got 18 points on 6 of 24 shooting, but it's ok because he can't be Superman every night. Kwame got rested because the hamstring was acting up, so Bynum got the start tonight.   Gotta post this now before it changes, as it's the weirdest shit I've ever seen.     The number is minutes played, and honest to God, as a lifelong basketball fan, I have never heard of anyone named Kinsey in my life. What the fuck did this guy do to earn 41 minutes. The fact that he's got 24 points makes it even worse. I just read that he went to South Carolina. Still haven't heard of him. The fact that Junior Harrington's had 45 minutes of run in this game makes me laugh even harder. Shammond Williams is starting to get more minutes, so Smush better take heed and start playing better. Here's a nice statline, Lamar Odom's got 3 points, 16 boards and 11 assists. That's the ugliest double-double I've ever seen. This game's pretty much over.   UGH (w/8 seconds left in the 4th). We lost to the fucking Grizzlies. Yeah, Stu Lantz and James Worthy were right, Kobe's gotta score 40 every game if we're gonna win. At least Turiaf got 25 minutes.   Ooo, the Grizzlies did something that every team should do. Make Kobe shoot 2 free throws rather than give him the open 3 to win the game. Only down by one with Hakim Warrick going to the line, about 6.5 seconds left. I like this situation. MISSED ONE, made the next. Down by 2, Kobe's getting the ball. Let's see if the Grizz foul him so that he doesn't get the open 3, and let the game go to overtime. Should be interesting. Smush got a 3 opportunity to win. He missed. FUCK HIM. Game over.   SMUSH IS A FUCKING FAGGOT AND SHOULD BE SHOT
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3.25, US Soccer, and El Tri.

The US won 3-1 today against Ecuador. I thought the team looked like crap in the first half, but came out to play in the second half. It was the Landon Donovan show out there, as his hat-trick performance obviously shows. The attendance at the game was in the 31,000 range, and most of the fans were American, so FINALLY the USMNT is starting to drum up some support. The only unfortunate part about this is that support should have been drummed up after we got to the Quarterfinals of the 02 WC, but that's another matter. Anyways, next game's Wednesday at 9:00 EDT on ESPN2 against Guatemala, and the next after that is in June against China. The Guates will get throttled.   El Tri won 2-1 today. Fucking gay. They're our bitches anyway, so I don't care. I hope that they play Bofo next time we face them, because that way they won't get any goals. Lucky ass Mexicans.   Tomorrow I'll talk about something else.
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3.24, KAZAKHSTAN and soccer.

Since I watch a lot of soccer, and there was another round of Euro 2008 qualifiers today, I thought that I should post this, as it will tie in with what I was gonna blog today.   Now, as someone that's followed the beautiful game (fuck you guys that dissent or call that a faggot name, it is) for a while, this came as a shock. Serbia and Montenegro qualified for the World Cup that took place last year in Germany. However, after the World Cup, the football federations peacefully split, just as the countries had months before. Even though the countries split, only one of the players that played for the unified team during the World Cup was of Montenegrin origin, thus the Serbian team was at full strength.   The Borats (it's much easier for me to type this instead of Kazakhs, even though I prefer not to refer to them as Borats) are ranked 143rd in the world, and the likes of Eritrea, Antigua and Barbuda, Palestine, and Equatorial Guinea are ranked ahead of them. The Serbs are ranked 28th, and for comparison, the US is ranked 30th (needless to say, this will change with the Serbian loss). The mere fact that the Borat's were able to hold a 2-0 lead over the Serbs is astounding, and it's even more astounding that they were able to beat the Serbs. They haven't won a competitive game since entering European competition. I figured that they'd pick up their first win against Armenia, but I digress.   MOVING ON   I wish I could find this video of something I saw today. I was watching Norway-Bosnia earlier, and the fans peppered the field with fireworks and flares. The Bosnians were protesting some shit that their FA did, so they decided that they wanted to throw fireworks and flares at their own players. The odd thing was that the game was in Oslo, so the only way the Bosnian fans could get the flares in was by sticking them in their assholes. It didn't even happen in Bosnia. Go figure that one out.     The US plays Ecuador tomorrow, at a comfortable 12:00 EDT start time, on ESPN2. Big transition period for the US, as we're getting guys like McBride, Pope and Reyna out of the picture, and getting some of the youngin's like Jay Demerit, Taylor Twellman (PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) and after the U-21 World Cup, Freddy Adu into the picture. I'm jazzed, I think we'll handle the Ecuadorians with a score of 1-0. Ecuador struggles when they have to come down out of altitude, so considering that this game's in Tampa, now's the time to get some confidence going into this summer's Gold Cup and Copa America.   That's it for now, I'll talk about how the above game went tomorrow.
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I don't edit my blog entries, and I have more. George Karl sucks.

I was surfin' the net cause I'm bored, and I came across some dumbass shit that George Karl said. I only take this sports shit so seriously because it's a release from the real world, and honestly, I have enough shit to worry about in real life. I like piling more shit up, and I need something else to worry about. SOOOOO   Hey George, call me when you win something. LOLZ   Seriously though, the guy needs to worry about his own team. If my team was in such a shitty state that the Nuggets are currently in, I know I wouldn't be watching the Lakers play the Blazers. But then again, that's why he's George Karl, and that's why he hasn't won shit. And apparently, never will with that attitude.   And one last thing...   Cool shit. The game was in New Orleans, and I think that was the only time that I haven't seen an arena full when the Lakers take their show on the road. I think the city needs to take care of other business before bringing basketball back. Just my opinion.   Oh yeah, Kobe scored 50 again tonight. He and Wilt stand together as the only players to score 50 in 4 straight games. You can say what you want about Jordan, but I haven't seen a player this dominant in my entire life. Except for Shaq, but his game wasn't perfect. I honestly can't say that there's something basketball related (saving potential rape joke) that Kobe could be better at. His game is perfect. Sadly though, I don't know how much longer he'll be able to go before his knees start giving out on him. It seems like he loses more and more hop as the games go by.   But maybe I'm just so used to watching him that I expect too much. Well, I do, but he hasn't failed to meet my expectations yet.
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No more.

No more predictions. Suffice it to say, with the USC loss, my heart is no longer in this tournament. I just don't want FUCLA to win it all.
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Predicitions for Today and Tomorrow's NCAA Tournament Games

THURSDAY   Southern Illinois vs. Kansas, 7:10/4:10 PM. Not too sure about this one, considering that Kansas hasn't been challenged so far this tournament. The Salukis looked good against Va. Tech, but I thought that a lot of teams would look good against the Hokies, so it's sorta misleading. I GUESS I'll pick the Jayhawks by eh, 10.   Texas A&M vs. Memphis, 7:27/4:27 PM. No Chris Douglas-Roberts makes this pick really, really easy. And even if CDR does play, he won't be the same player that he was before he got hurt. Aggies, easy.   Pittsburgh vs. UCLA, 9:40/6:40 PM. FUCLA finds ways to win games. They could blow dick all game, and they'd still win. Based on that, I'll pick them in a close, boring game. UCLA 40, PITT 35. And I get to watch all of it. yay.   Tennessee vs. Ohio State, 9:57/6:47 PM. Ugh. Two teams I totally dislike and don't want to talk about, and I still have to pick one. Ohio State.   FRIDAY Butler vs. Florida, 7:10/4:10 PM. I think Billy Donovan's going to have the right gameplan for this game. If the Gators come out bombing 3-pointers, they're going to be in for a close one. If they get the ball on the blocks to Horford, Noah and sometimes Richard, Butler's going to have no chance. I don't think Butler's going to win anyway, and I think that Florida will keep the game in the post. Florida by 20.   Vanderbilt vs. Georgetown, 7:27/4:27 PM. I had Georgetown winning it all, but I've gotta say, this looks like a good upset pick. The Hoyas have struggled all tournament, but they haven't played a team with enough athleticism to take advantage of it. I think that Vanderbilt's got that athleticism. So, Vanderbilt in OT.   UNLV vs. Oregon, 9:40/6:40 PM. I like UNLV a lot. Oregon can beat them, but for some reason I feel that UNLV's gonna pull it out. They're nearly identical teams. So, UNLV by 6.   USC vs. North Carolina, 9:57/6:47 PM. We will win. That's it.
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3.21, Teh Sopranos.

Ok, so I rented the 1st disc of Season 1 from the library a few days ago and just finished it. I thought it was cool, but not ass-blastingly overwhelming, so what I'm trying to ask is, is it worth it to continue on? I love watching almost anything m0b-related, so I just wanna know if it's worth it.   If anyone comes across this and wants to answer my question, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT.   Predictions for the Thursday and Friday NCAA tourney games will be made tomorrow.
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Bynum cried last night.

Yeah, Phil made the big guy cry. Holy Christ, this is like, the last problem the team needs. I'm gonna blame big PJ and Kobe on that one, because at some point you've gotta stop tearing into the guy. At least we've had other guys that cried on the court.     He turned out ok. The only bad part about this, is that in Laker Nation, it has totally made everyone forget that we won. All I know is, I saw Bynum tell Kobe "fuck you". Big no-no.     See for yourself.   I was gonna say something about watching ManU and Chelsea in their respective FA Cup replays, but this really threw me off.
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