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Review: Mostly RAW from 1/7/08.

Ok, nothing for Smackdown. I barely even watched it, although I like that Rey's going to face Edge at the Royal Rumble. I thought Chavo's match against Funaki was good, that was the only thing I watched in its entirety. Also, I like the "Edge Heads" gimmick, although the shorter guy doesn't seem to be a very good wrestler. That's all I have to say. ___________________   So, the first show I watched in its entirety was ECW from 2-11-96.   - The segment at the beginning of the show was gigantically long. Like about 20-25 minutes long. First, Taz attacked Rey Mysterio. The SHAH and JT Smith came out to help Rey, and they started fighting. Guess that makes sense. Woman then came out, and 2 Cold Scorpio carried her out of the building. Stevie Richards then came out to the ring, along with the Blue Meanie. They offered Sandman a chance to back out of his match against Raven, and he said no. He canes all of them, and we cut away, to Raven at the ring. Stevie has a surprise for him, and it's that he's suing Missy Hyatt. She comes out, and then Sandman comes out, who canes the members of Raven's Nest, and joins Missy Hyatt. I deliberately typed that as convoluted sounding as possible, because, well, it was a convoluted segment. One that I didn't care for.   - The next thing on the show was an advertisement for the video tape, "Big Apple Blizzard Blast." A Current Affair was shooting footage, and the main things on the show were Sabu vs. Mr. Hughes and The Gangstas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio and the Sandman. Yeeeeah. ___________________   We have our first match next, it's Tommy Dreamer and Shane Douglas vs. Stevie Richards and Raven. Now, the rundown of things I thought were notable.   - Stevie put on a Razor Ramon t-shirt, and threw a toothpick at Shane. That was funny, at least until Shane ripped the Razor t-shirt off and went to work on Stevie.   - Cactus Jack runs in, and tries to beat up Shane. He leaves after a little bit. See, that's the one thing I don't get about run-ins during the middle of the match. Why wouldn't you stick around for the duration, instead of getting one or two punches in and leaving?   - Sandman canes everyone, and leaves. After that, there were many nearfalls.   - When Tommy gets introduced to the match via hot tag, weapons make their appearance. Meanie accidentally gives Stevie a moonsault, and Tommy gets knocked out, on a double collision. Beulah's been out there the whole time, so she tapes a frying pan to Tommy's right foot. He then gets up and gives Stevie Richards an enziguri, for the pinfall. Time announced was like 19:something, but that much certainly was not shown. Anyway, I liked it. ___________________   Lastly, was the match between Taz and the Shark Attack Kid. Talk about a good wrestling name. Taz wins the bout after the Tazmission and multiple suplexes, and afterward, grabs a microphone. He talks trash about 911, until 911's "music" hits. At least the geniuses at WWE 24/7 use the same dubbed music for each wrestler, instead of having it be different all the time. Otherwise I really wouldn't have understood the segment. Well, Tod Gordon comes to the ring instead of 911, and says that 911 is gone. GONE. And now, Bill Alfonso wants to fight Tod. So they do, until Tod gets the upper hand, at which point Taz comes in and beats up Gordon. BAM BAM FUCKING BIGELOW hits the ring, and chases off Taz. I knew that was going to happen because of the program description, but still, it's Bam Bam Bigelow. He grabs the microphone and says that Taz won't be able to suplex him. End show.   Well, I liked the ending, and was indifferent to the rest. The show was decent. This Bam Bam thing could be great... ___________________   The last show I watched in between my last review and this one, was Monday Night RAW, last night. So, here's how it went.   - At the beginning of the show, Vince McMahon was at the RAW ROULETTE WHEEL with William Regal. He tells Regal that he'll be facing HHH tonight, so now, we spin the wheel. And it's a FIRST BLOOD MATCH!!!! Regal leaves the room, and HHH attacks him in the hall. Ha. This should be fun.   The first match on the show was going to be Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy, or so it would seem. But the wheel lands on a...STRANGE BEDFELLOWS MATCH. I didn't have a clue as to what this was, but McMahon says that both HBK and Kennedy will be teaming up against another strange team. So, it winds up being HBK and Kennedy vs. Charlie Haas and Trevor Murdoch.   - Haas' gimmick blows. I thought it was funny, in the worst way possible. That won't last for long. In case you didn't know, he goes under the ring at some random point during the match and puts on a mask.   - Toward the end, Kennedy wouldn't help HBK make the tag. So HBK made the comeback all by himself, giving both opponents SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Unbeknownst to HBK, Kennedy had made a blind tag, so after giving Haas SCM, Kennedy gave HBK the "Mic Check," gaining him the pinfall over Haas. I didn't time it, as I was doing something else. Again, sorry. *1/2, with the forewarning that Haas' gimmick has the potential to ruin matches. The Mic Check is just a fancy name for a downward spiral. Also, Kennedy's spray-on tan was coming off. It looked disgusting. His skin color looked like that of Hulk Hogan, at least where the tan was still remaining. ___________________   The next match was Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito in a "Trading Places" match. Ok, I can't believe another WWE wrestler doesn't copy gimmicks, much in the same fashion of this match. Trading Places denotes that each wrestler dresses like the other.   - I was surprised to see that Holly wasn't taking the gimmick too seriously. He had fun with it, which definitely was a surprise, this being Hardcore Holly, and all.   - Holly spit an apple in Carlito's face, and gave him the Alabama Slam for the victory. Carlito stuck around to do jobs for Hardcore Holly? *. ___________________   Before the commercial, Jim Ross sneaks in a "SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL" reference. I knew he would. Only makes sense, don't it.   Vince McMahon and Maria were backstage, to determine a match for all the Divas. The wheel landed on "Submission," but Vince moved the wheel over to a Lingerie Pillow Fight. That's not all, though. Afterward, Vince tells Hornswoggle that he needs to find a partner for a tag match, in which the winning team qualifies for the Royal Rumble.   The Pillow Fight was on after the commercial. I didn't pay attention, all I know is that Ashley pinned Jillian Hall after a flying elbow. What I saw, sucked. Hard. These are unrateable anyway. ___________________   So, Hornswoggle was looking for a partner. Santino laughed at him. I was reading the RAW thread, and I have to agree with something Conspiracy_Victim said. Playing to the stereotype with Santino would be great.   Ok, the next match is the First Blood match, between HHH and William Regal.   - I liked it, but there really wasn't a whole lot to say. HHH punched Regal a whole bunch, and made Regal bleed. The end. **1/2. After the match, HHH gave Regal a PEDIGREE and celebrated. I'm not an HHHater, but I still think that was unnecessary. He's still putting people over, though, so why complain? That said, the product is about 1,000,000 times better than when I quit watching. I really like what I've seen thus far, for the most part. ___________________   The next match was Chris Jericho...in what was a HANDICAP MATCH. He's facing Snitsky and...JBL. Not much surprise, there. Besides, the newer fan needs to see JBL in-ring before the Rumble, so this is acceptable.   - Ok, JBL looked a little flabby. Why is this a bad thing? I see way too much hypocrisy from Smarks these days. These guys aren't supposed to use steroids, and you make fun of those who do. But when you see a guy who doesn't, you make fun of him too? Idiots.   - JBL hits Jericho with the ring bell at the end of the match, giving Jericho the win by DQ. 1/2*. Now, JBL grabs a cable, and begins to choke Jericho with it. He ties a noose around Jericho's neck, and drags him all the way towards the entrance. He begins to hang Jericho on the scaffolding on the side of the entrance, but various officials/road agents come out to stop the beating. Ok, that was cool. And now, the thing with Benoit never crossed my mind, nor would it ever have unless someone mentioned it. I'm kinda sensitive when it comes to things like that (although not a straight out bitch), but really guys, let it go. There's really nothing offensive about the Jericho segment at all. Plus, a segment like that could garner a few more PPV buys. Note that I said could. ___________________   Now, it's time for the Hornswoggle tag team match, as he's found a partner to face the Highlanders. It's some guy named BK Jordan. However, MICK FOLEY, being the man that he is, ABSOLUTELY MUST help the little guy. So he decides to be Hornswoggle's partner.   - The match was way too long, let's put it that way. Hornswoggle won the bout after a frog splash. Sorry, I'm not calling it a tadpole splash. *1/4. The match was too long, it should've been a Foley squash. I wonder why Foley's going to be in the Rumble. I have this feeling that he'll get in the Elimination Chamber and win, OR, he'll go after CM Punk in a face vs. face thing leading up to WrestleMania. Hell, he could do both, putting Punk over huge at WrestleMania. Or he could do neither and disappear after the Rumble, considering that the WWE would never let Foley pick up pinfalls in an Elimination Chamber match, and losing in such a match would damage any possible rub he could give Punk. ___________________   In the main event, it was Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga in a cage match. Randy Orton's at ringside, btw.   - Ok, here's the first of many cool spots. Umaga backdropped Hardy into the cage...   - Randy Orton threw multiple chairs into the ring, and Umaga complied with Orton's wishes by hitting Hardy in the back with one of them...   - Jeff Hardy threw a chair at Umaga...but before that, he crotched Umaga on the top rope, and delivered a Poetry in Motion to him, knocking Umaga into the cage.   - Jeff gave Umaga a DDT into a chair, and while trying to escape through the door, Orton shut the door in his face.   - Umaga tried to give Jeff a SAMOAN SPIKE, but Jeff gave him the TWIST OF FATE. Then, Hardy climbed up the cage, and delivered a WHISPER IN THE WIND FROM THE TOP, which helped him to gain the pinfall, after a match that lasted around 15 minutes. Ok, that match rocked. I guess I was right about these two being able to have a really good match, wasn't I? ***3/4. Umaga's nerve hold was the only negative to what was a great match. Hardy then climbed up the cage, and stared down Randy Orton to end the show. Honestly, I thought Hardy was going to jump off onto Orton. That would've been awesome. ___________________   This show was pretty good, and far beyond my expectations. As long as the product stays like this, I'll keep watching. And the Royal Rumble card looks great, IMO. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with the Ladder Match DVD. Needless to say, my next "Random Thoughts" piece will have something to say about that, ECW from later today, and the MSG show from 1980.
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LFC Blog
 

Review: Monday Nitro and Monday Night RAW from 7/7/1997.

I'm probably going to watch Nitro first from here on out, so that's how I'm going to review them too. This one is from Memphis, Tennessee. ___________________   We flashback to last week, and then, Mean Gene invites Curt Hennig to the aisleway for an interview. He's not going to say what he'll be doing at Bash at the Beach, but he will say that he'll be involved with the card in some fashion. Here's Ric Flair, who wants Hennig to join the Four Horsemen. Needless to say, Hennig won't...yet. ___________________ Public Enemy vs. Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri is the opener...   - It's not bad, not bad at all. Vincent comes to the ring towards the end, and Sherri tells Booker to chase Vincent away, so he does. Sherri pushes Rocco Rock into Stevie Ray on accident, so Johnny Grunge pins Stevie, getting the win at 4:56. Uh-oh. Mean Gene comes into the ring, slips up and calls Vincent "Virgil," then Harlem Heat tell Sherri to leave...for good. You can't fire me because I quit and all that...yeah. Match was **. ___________________   Hey, a Bash at the Beach ad? I mentioned something about not having that...well, Joe Gomez is going to take on Konnan.   - Raven's in the crowd, again. Good. This match though, not so good. Bland, rather. Apparently Konnan "broke" Rey Mysterio's leg last week. Poor kid. Tequila Sunrise gets Konnan the submission victory at 3:11. *. ___________________   Next up, Juventud Guerrera and Hector Garza are taking on Villano IV and Villano V.   - Hell of a match, compared to what's usually on Nitro. It's one of those things you need to go out of your way to see. Most of the match is double teams, with no regard for the referee, thank goodness. Anyway, Juvi finishes Villano V with a 450 splash at 6:16. ***1/4. ___________________   The NWO music hits...here comes Scott Hall, Randy Savage, and Elizabeth. You know where they're headed? The commentary table. I love when they go over there. Everyone leaves, except for Larry Zbyszko. He ain't going anywhere. Hall calls DDP a mid-card jabroni, then Savage rambles about some nonsense. Anyway, they go to leave, but Hall and Zbyszko get into an argument. They nearly come to blows, but things cool down a bit. ___________________   We flashback to World War III 1996, where the Giant eliminated Lex Luger in a move that really didn't look like he was trying to eliminate Luger at all. Anyhow, this is a Giant and Lex Luger interview...when I say interview, I mean a hackjob. ___________________   Vicious and Delicious w/Vincent are taking on Eddie and Chavo Guerrero, now.   - Vicious and Delicious are Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell. Eddie's ring attire problem is fixed, so now, lastly, his music. That music he has needs to be ditched. Anyway, a limo pulls up and leaves. Wow.   - Eddie won't tag Chavo, so he just leaves him. I laughed. Eddie watches as Chavo gets his ass beat, culminating in a BUFF BLOCKBUSTER for the three count at 8:02. **. Fun shall be had later on between the Guerrero's. ___________________   Hour #2, and Zbyszko won't leave until this match is over. The match I'm talking about is Randy Savage w/Scott Hall and Elizabeth vs. LA PARKA.   - WTF DREAM MATCH 1997!111!1!111!   - Ok, Hall walks over toward the announce table, taunting Zbyszko, but he doesn't really want to do anything, does he? He meaning Hall. Anyway, while Hall's over there, LA PARKA gives Savage a DIAMOND CUTTER. He pulls the mask off...and it's DDP! HA. He covers Savage, getting the three count at 3:12, then he runs into the crowd to celebrate. *1/4, but a hell of a surprise there. ___________________   Psychosis and Silver King w/Sonny Onoo are facing Glacier and Ernest Miller.   - Eddie and Chavo are fighting in the back, see what I said? Mortis and Wrath run to the ring, so we've got a no-contest at 2:34. Everyone's fighting everyone! Seriously, no joke. ___________________   On the Road in Orlando...yawn.   Mean Gene is with Ric Flair, for a second time tonight. Flair calls out Roddy Piper, and whoa, oh wait, he's got another Piper mannequin. Geez. Piper ain't got the guts, but wait a second, he's standing right behind Flair. Piper chases Flair to the ring and tears off Flair's clothes, before putting Flair in a sleeperhold. That continues for a bit, until Chris Benoit and Mongo McMichael come to the ring. Benoit gains control, and gives Piper a FLYING HEADBUTT, which ends the segment. But for one thing, a mysterious person ran in and cleaned house as they were going to commercial. It looked like Curt Hennig, but I don't really know. ___________________   Continuing our lack of matches, Mike Tenay has walked over to Raven, once again. Stevie Richards, King of Swing comes into the picture(!), and says that he's the only one who can get some answers out of Raven. He asks if Raven has signed a WCW contract, which causes Raven to slap Stevie, and leave. ___________________   Eric Bischoff and Hollywood Hogan now make their way up, in what's clearly a Bash at the Beach hype segment. People throw a bunch of stuff at Hogan, and then, after a bit., Lex Luger and The Giant come to the ring. Bischoff tried to hit Luger, so he gets RACKED. Vincent and Buff Bagwell run down, and both of them get chokeslammed. Anyway, Hogan runs away, scared. That ends the show. ___________________ Great episode of Nitro this time. You got good tag wrestling, and well, that's good enough for me. Plus, we're getting to the point where there's a large portion of these shows that feature wrestlers the 'net as a whole is more interested in. That's good too. Best segment was definitely Juvi and Garza vs. Villano's IV and V, and the worst was probably Joe Gomez vs. Konnan. Looking forward to the next Nitro, as I have been all along. ___________________   RAW this week is from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. ___________________   Bret Hart comes to the ring at the top of the show, wearing an Oilers sweater. Asskisser. He has a shot at the WWF Title at SummerSlam, in New Jersey. He rips apart America, and says that if he doesn't win on August 3rd, he won't wrestle on American soil again. Period. He brings out Owen Hart and the British Bulldog, so they can listen to the Canadian National Anthem. Before that though, Bulldog vs. Ken Shamrock at SummerSlam was announced. While listening to the anthem, STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD attacks all three men from behind with a steel chair. What a swell fellow. During the commercial which followed this attack, Bret said that none of his opponents will ever walk over Canada. ___________________   Taka Michinoku is taking on the Great Sasuke, in a rematch from last night's Canadian Stampede PPV.   - Brian Christopher comes down to the ring for commentary, and before the match, Sasuke cut a promo. Uh, why?   - Sasuke finishes Taka with a thunderfire powerbomb. Hells yeah. Oh, match was ***, and it ended at 5:46. Too short, but hey, that's television. ___________________   Crush w/The Disciples of Apocalypse is taking on Savio Vega w/Los Boricuas.   - Before the match, we watch a video of this whole gang situation, poop on all that. Chainz hits Vega, which starts a giant brawl at 2:19. 1/4*. Yeah, giant brawl. ___________________   Paul Bearer has an interview, yes, Kane told him so, Taker's a MURDERER. Now, we've got Faarooq and D'Lo Brown facing Owen Hart and the British Bulldog w/Jim Neidhart and Brian Pillman in the Final of the Tag Team Tournament. - Before the bout, Pillman grabbed a sign that says, "Nation of Masturbation." For real.   - Steve Austin still doesn't want a partner for next week, btw. See, the appeal of this match is minimal to most Americans (unless you like the Harts), seeing as it's heel vs. heel. Well, heel vs. heel here, but not heel vs. heel in Canada. Anyway, moving forward, all hell breaks loose on the outside, but Owen stays in the ring, causing his team to win by countout. So they'll face Steve Austin next week. Mankind runs down while wearing an Austin 3:16 shirt, and motions that he and Austin will be keeping those titles. Sure, Mick. *1/4. ___________________   Steve Austin comments on Hunter Hearst Helmsley, and guess what, those two will be facing each other, right now!   - Warzone...Quite the matchup here, correct? Anyway, the match is good by RAW standards, but not Stone Cold vs. HHH good. You'd expect that to be the case. Mankind takes a chairshot in place of Austin, which allows Austin to give HHH a STONE COLD STUNNER and pick up the pinfall victory at 6:17 (shown). **1/4. Austin grabs a microphone, and he wants Mankind to come into the ring, Of course he does, and Austin says that he just wants Mankind to shake his hand, and they can be a team. Well, Mankind hugs him. I'll be damned. Ha, Austin gives him a STUNNER. Austin says that they aren't a team, and that Mick shouldn't trust anybody. Austin leaves, but Mankind grabs the microphone. You see, he just wanted a friend, that's all. Now, drastic measures must be taken. Who knows what they shall be. ___________________   Sunny's our guest ring announcer (yo), for this match between Brian Christopher and Eric Shelley.   - I don't quite understand what they're trying to do with the Light Heavyweight Division at this point. I don't think they ever understood, to be fair. Top rope legdrop gives Christopher the pinfall after a kinda boring 3:52. *1/2. Lawler and Christopher give Shelley a spike piledriver, which is probably going to become routine. ___________________   Steve Austin comes to the ring for an interview...he still doesn't know who his tag team partner is going to be. Also, at SummerSlam, when he faces Owen Hart for the Intercontinental Title, he'll kiss Owen's ass if he can't kick it. We're already getting ridiculous with the Russo stuff here. I know there's going to be another (or two), (what I like to call) ultimatum match/es added, and generally, most suck. Unless the angle involves a dress or a haircut, in all likelihood, the one being pushed up against a wall is going to win. Russo's fingerprints are pretty much all over this, and I don't like it. I know all those matches feature members of the Hart Foundation, but I don't care. It sucks.   Tirade over. ___________________   The main event is Goldust vs. Bret Hart.   - I'm sure that something was cut from the original airing of this show, because there has been very little time between the beginning of the Warzone and now, or even the end of this match. Unless of course, they just cut some super long commercials out. Yeah.   - DOA comes down, uh, why? That doesn't make any damn sense. Here comes the Hart Foundation, then Ken Shamrock and the Legion of Doom. Now Austin's on the ramp, as Bret rolls Goldust up for three at 7:29. **. Big celebration and all, then the show ends.   So, what was the point of all that? ___________________   The show was definitely good, but not better than Nitro. There's just some, I don't know, WEIRD stuff going on during this show. Best segment was probably Austin pulling the whole DON'T TRUST ANYBODY thing on Mankind, and the worst was easily the GANG WARZ during the Savio Vega/Crush match. I feigned excitement at the start of GANG WARZ, but really, this sucks. ___________________   Beware of Dog review is next, probably won't finish it up by Friday, but I'll try. Next month on 24/7 is going to be awful (and have a Clash as the only big event at the beginning of the month), so I'll have a bit of time to rest my ailing fingers soon.
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LFC Blog
 

Review: Monday Nitro and Monday Night RAW from 7/28/1997.

As usual, Nitro is first. This particular edition takes place on July 28th, as WWE decided to skip a week. Takes place in Charleston, West Virginia. ___________________   To start, we've got Vicious and Delicious w/Vincent vs. Ric Flair and Curt Hennig. Sounds good.   - Hennig's a free agent, you see. If that makes sense. Anyhow, this matchup sounds pretty good. After about four or five minutes we go to a commercial.   - And we're back, with Buff working over Flair. Syxx pulls Flair to the floor, exposing Flair's BUTT. You know, Flair loves that. HENNIG-PLEX on Buff, gets the win at 9:09 (heh)(shown). *1/2. ___________________   Mean Gene is now with the Total Package, who comes to the ring and tears off his shirt. Wow, what a man. He's ready for Road Wild, but we've got something else first. There's a clause in Hogan's contract that says he has to defend the WCW Title every thirty days (hah, Hogan hasn't defended that thing on television in MONTHS. And he don't work house shows.). The 30th day, well, that's next Monday. In Detroit. Nitro is on Monday. Luger's going to face Hogan for the strap. Luger then cuts a fantastic promo on Hogan, before leaving. I'm not kidding, the promo was fantastic. ___________________   The second matchup is Prince Iaukea vs. The Ultimate Dragon for the TV Title.   - I'm so damn sick of Iaukea. Dragon got that title by beating Steven Regal on the Nitro last week, which was skipped. There's a few empty seats visible on camera that are bothering me. I don't know why, they just are. Sloppy, sloppy match. DRAGON SLEEPER gives (guess who) the submission victory at 4:47. *1/4. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Ric Flair, who says that Hennig is one of the four. That brings him out, to express that he's a free agent. Mongo and Benoit come out, Mongo talks for a bit, and then a tag match where Mongo and Benoit face two jobbers gets cut out. ___________________   Alex Wright is facing Chris Jericho for the Cruiserweight Title...   - Jericho slaps Wright, and we begin. A "faggot" chant rings out, obviously directed at Wright. Well I'll be damned, this taking place in West Virginia and all. Wright gives Jericho a back elbow, then a german suplex, to WIN the Cruiserweight belt at 6:26. OMG NEW CHAMP. Not really surprised about it, the guy was getting a big push. A big for WCW push, if you will. ___________________   Gene is now with Dean Malenko, and suddenly, Jeff Jarrett decides to join him. Jarrett wants Malenko to join up with he and Debra. Malenko reluctantly agrees. Something seems a bit off with that whole thing. Maybe because Dean doesn't talk. ___________________   Hour #2, and we begin with Syxx taking on Diamond Dallas Page.   - Sounds pretty good to me. After a broncobuster, we get a lot of the usual NWO shenanigans. But for one thing. After Vincent runs out, he gets punched in the mouth, so nothing happens there. Syxx tries the BUZZKILLER, but Page rams him into the corner, and gives him a DIAMOND CUTTER. Then Curt Hennig runs through the crowd, hits Page with an international object, which allows Syxx to pick up the pinfall at 3:33. **. No wonder they showed a clip of Hennig hitting Nick Bockwinkel with brass knuckles and winning the AWA Title prior to this show. Makes sense now. ___________________ Hector Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko is up next.   - Glad to see this, but the crowd is really, you know, not. Jarrett and Debra make their way to the ring, which doesn't have anything to do with the actual match. After Dean makes Hector submit to the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF at 4:33 (*1/2), Chavo Guerrero comes out, to check on his uncle. Malenko stomps on Chavo, before leaving. Hmm.... ___________________   Konnan is with Mean Gene, and Konnan's got a lot to say. He talks about Rey being a bitch (not in those words), saying things like Rey ain't for the raza and shit like that. He's going to take down all the luchadors, starting tonight, with La Parka. ___________________   On the Road in Detroit, and then, we've got THE GIANT facing The Great Muta.   - Talk about strange matchups. Anyway, Savage is in the crowd, talking about his match with Giant at Road Wild. That card is really, really stacked. Giant and Savage do a little promo battle thing, before the bell rings, to begin the match. Now wait, we've got more stuff. Eric Bischoff comes out, and kicks Tenay and Heenan out of the commentary area. But Tony can stay.   - Muta gets caught in a chokehold, and tries to mist Giant. But it gets blocked. CHOKESLAM, pinfall at 5:59. 1/2* for a super slow match. Giant grabbed a microphone, but Larry Zbyszko (I'm going to call him Larry Z from now on) comes out, infuriated that Bischoff has sent his broadcast partners away. So he's going to take Bischoff to the ring, the hard way. Big time Larry chant, as he puts Bisch in the ring for Giant to CHOKESLAM. YES! Crowd loved it. ___________________   Konnan vs. LA PARKA...   - La Parka's mask may fall off! Well, it nearly did. La Parka grabbed a chair which had Konnan's name on it (hah), but Konnan kicked the chair into his face. TEQUILA SUNRISE, submission win for the newest NWO member at 1:45. Here comes Psychosis, to keep Konnan from beating up La Parka. He didn't do anything, just stood there. *. ___________________   We're on the phone with JJ Dillon, who confirms that Hogan will face Luger next week. Good. They also want Sting back in the ring by September. Drawing it out... ___________________   The main event is Randy Savage w/Elizabeth vs. Scott Steiner w/Rick Steiner.   - This would've been some match back in, say, 1992. Or even in 1993, when both were in the WWF. The match is quite strange. We've got Savage acting like a lunatic, trying to brawl into the crowd and stuff like that. Sorta jumbled. After the commercial   - Things go back to normal. Steiner gives Savage many suplexes, and then, Liz decides to distract the referee, as the Outsiders come to the ring and attack Rick Steiner. Now Scott attacks the Outsiders, and everyone brawls, at 8:46 (shown). **. Two flying elbows are given to Scott, which brings the GIANT out. The NWO bails out of the ring, and Giant grabs a microphone. He wants Nash RIGHT NOW. Nash said that he doesn't feel like fighting through security, but they part the Red Sea, allowing Nash to go back to the ring. He wraps his belt around his fist and is about to jump into the ring, but WE'RE OUT OF TIME! Them cutting away during the middle of a hot angle is beginning to bother me. ___________________   The show was good. Liked the angles. Nice to see a title change, and it was nice to see some big(ish) matchups. Best segment was Luger's promo on Hogan, and the worst was Iaukea vs. Dragon. These shows are really making me want to watch Road Wild, so they're definitely doing what they're supposed to. ___________________   RAW is from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Good location for a hard sell show. We flashback to last week, and for once, I'll run down the goings-on. There was a six-man flag match, featuring STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD, Dude Love, and the Undertaker, who were facing Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, and Owen Hart. The Hart Foundation won. Not only that, but Shawn Michaels was announced as being the special referee for the main event at SummerSlam. ___________________   We begin the show, with the Hart Foundation making their way to the ring. Bret's not going to be suspended for attacking Vince McMahon last week, because they want their big main event to go off without a hitch. Makin' the fans happy, if you weel. Apparently we're going to have a new commissioner next week...as is said during Bret's typical anti-America promo. He's really mad at Shawn Michaels, because he insulted Bret's country. You don't badmouth Canada. He challenges the Patriot to a match later, and that's it! ___________________   After running down tonights card, we move to Savio Vega and Miguel Perez w/the rest of Los Boricuas vs. the Legion of Doom.   - Not really a whole lot to say. How about, both of these teams are not my favorite when it comes to rating tag teams of 1997. LOD tries the DOOMSDAY DEVICE on Miguel, but the Boricuas run in, getting their guys DQ'd at 3:01. The Godwinns run down, and help the Boricuas beat up LOD. No surprise. *. ___________________   HHH and Chyna speak about Mankind, and the steel cage match between Mankind and HHH at SummerSlam. Vader's in need of Jenny Craig, too. Guess what? Our next match is Vader vs. HHH!   - Mankind appears from under the ring, in a cameraman's outfit. He hits HHH with a television camera, so we've got no match. Chyna tackles Mankind, and beats him up for a bit, before Mankind can fight them both off. They fight into the crowd, and yeah. ___________________   The Truth Commission's leader comments on a few things...then we see that Michael Moorer's at ringside. He beat up on Evander Holyfield. I don't really like him.   After a Brakus promo (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA)..... ___________________   We go to our next match, Jesse Jammes, Bob Holly, and Flash Funk vs. The Truth Commission w/Commandant.   - Commandant (their leader) is an actor, so he won't get involved in the matches. Had to get that out there. Kurrgan is a funny guy. Oh wait, I mean the INTERROGATOR. Gorilla Monsoon was down for a bit to talk about the commissioner spot, as Kurrgan finished Holly with a sideslam for the victory at 3:22. 1/2*.   - I feel like ignoring the SummerSlam million dollar contest stuff, so I will. ___________________   After a video about the Patriot, he cuts a promo in which he accepts Bret Hart's challenge.   Now, we've got Faarooq w/the Nation (including Ahmed Johnson) taking on Crush w/Disciples of Apocalypse.   - Punch, kick, choke affair. Basically everything I hate. Gang fight tears this shit apart at 3:14. 1/4*. Los Boricuas come down,. and powerbomb Crush on the ramp. Ouch. ___________________   Now to the Warzone, and we've got a big tag team match. The Godwinns are facing Steve Austin and Dude Love for the WWF Tag Team Titles.   - Owen and Bulldog are sitting at ringside for commentary, btw. They trash their opponents, and Bulldog challenges Ken Shamrock to an armwrestling match for later on.   - Austin makes the hot tag, house of fire. Stun one, not the other, get tossed out of the ring. Owen hits Austin with the Intercontinental Title, which gets Austin counted out at 4:40. *1/2. Now everyone decides to beat up the champions. LOD comes down to the ring, to chase the Godwinns away, and Hawk gives Dude Love a high five, as Austin's telling the viewers at home that Owen's going to get his ass whipped at SummerSlam. ___________________   Ace Darling vs. Devon Storm is our Light Heavyweight contest...   - Storm wins with a forward roll off a Darling hurricanrana at 45 seconds. 1/2*. ___________________   Here we go, the armwrestling contest with Bulldog and Shamrock. Very typical, face comeback and then Bulldog headbutts him. Bulldog then hits Shamrock with a chair a whole bunch, before opening a can of dog food and smearing it all over Shamrock's face. Ugh. ___________________ Goldust w/Marlena is going to face Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man.   - Goldust has a mic, and says that Brian Pillman will definitely be wearing a dress come next Monday. I agree!   - I can't wait for Rockabilly to become a New Age Outlaw. At least he'll be entertaining. Billy slaps Michael Moorer, so Moorer knocks him out. HA! Pillman attacks Goldust for the DQ at 1:15, DUD. Marlena jumps on Pillman's back, which eventually gets him to leave. Good. Pillman tells the crowd to fuck off, and we're done there. ___________________   We see a video hyping our SummerSlam main event, which features comments from multiple people. After that, Vince brings Shawn Michaels to the ring. Bret wants him to apologize for insulting his country, but Michaels absolutely will not. What he will do, is commentate this next match. ___________________   Our main event is Bret Hart vs. The Patriot.   - Bret's really mad about Shawn not apologizing. So, as a result, we'll get to hear Oh Canada! Once that's over, Kurt Angle The Patriot comes to the ring, and wants the Star Spangled Banner played. Good on him! But, Bret attacks him in the middle of it. I saw that one coming. Now the crowd's on fire.   - The show ran long, but there's a commercial. Like, really long. The Patriot wears the mask to embody the spirit of our country or something like that. Yeah, something. Shawn keeps Bret from making the cover, so as Bret's yelling at Shawn, Patriot rolls Bret up for three at 6:38 (shown). Talk about a surprise, **. Is Shawn really an unbiased official? The commentators sold that action of Shawn's like, "uh, what." Bret and Shawn argue, until the Undertaker comes out. So the show is over. ___________________ Show was good, but still not better than Nitro. Bischoff being chokeslammed by the Giant is what put Nitro over the top. Best segment here was Patriot getting the surprise win over Shawn, and the worst was the Truth Commission garbage. ___________________   I'm going to review Slamboree 2000 next. Usually I don't review the PYBO's before the regularly posted show, but I can't resist. WCW 2000 BABY!
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Review: Monday Nitro and Monday Night RAW from 7/14/1997.

Nitro is from Orlando, Florida. Don't forget, Bash at the Beach was the night before this show. At that show, a man dressed as Sting attacked Lex Luger and The Giant. That man was clearly Kevin Nash. I'll also point out that this show is the debut of the Nitro Girls. Also know that I will never reference their segments again, unless someone's tit pops out, or an angle occurs during said segment. ___________________   Anyway, our first match is Alex Wright vs. Prince Iaukea.   - Pre-recorded comments from Wright, basically about how WCW has used his racial background against him.   - After about a minute and a half, THE GIANT makes his way into the ring. He gives the referee a CHOKESLAM, Iaukea a CHOKESLAM, then five or so security guys a CHOKESLAM, but not Wright. Wright left. The Giant wants Kevin Nash, right now. He knows it was Nash who hit him with a baseball bat. That's all. ___________________   Next up, Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr..   - Family feud! Yeah, I really love this...everyone who's able to needs to watch this. Chavo went for the frog splash, but he ate Eddie's knees on the way down. Powerbomb and a frog splash gives Eddie the victory at 4:15. **1/2. After the match, Eddie gives Chavo ANOTHER FROG SPLASH, which brings HECTOR Guerrero down to the ring. Eddie pushes him to the canvas and leaves...furthering this dickish heel run. Love it. ___________________   Mean Gene is with DDP, who talks about how alike he and Curt Hennig are, and that's why he wanted Hennig to be his tag team partner at Bash at the Beach. They lost to Scott Hall and Randy Savage, btw. After the commercial, Mean Gene calls Harlem Heat out, for an interview. They're going to face the Outsiders later on in a non-title match, and they want to make it a street fight. ___________________   We've got Vicious and Delicious facing The Steiner Brothers...   - Yes, this matchup sounds good. At least to me. WCW is in this "we put good matches on TV phase," which I'm in favor of. None of these are money drawing matches, so hey. We cut to the back, as...Konnan has arrived in a limo. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. There's some evil guys with him too, just guess who.   - Masa Chono and the Great Muta come out after a bunch of Scott Steiner suplexes, getting their fellow NWO members disqualified at 6:46. Aw, darn. Scott and Rick fight them off, because they're fighting for the WCW, guys. **1/4. ___________________   Mean Gene's talking about Raven and Stevie Richards, because he talked to them at the PPV last night. Here's Raven again, who says that the only announcement he has, is, well, that there isn't one. Nice. Richards is there too, and Raven abuses him, before the camera cuts away. ___________________   Super Calo vs. La Parka is next.   - I believe this is the real La Parka. Regardless, Savage attacks both of these guys, leading to a no contest after 46 seconds. After a bit of beating La Parka up and trying to steal his mask, DDP comes into the ring from out of the crowd. Now into the ring comes Curt Hennig, who decks DDP WITH A TAPED FIST. My brain went dead about them facing each other at Road Wild, so I was genuinely surprised. Yeah, that's a ten year old spoiler. Savage gives Page the FLYING ELBOW, so this battle is one that Savage wins.   Mean Gene is now with Curt Hennig, who says that he is NOTHING like DDP. He says that DDP is the biggest mark in the business. Ouch. Ric Flair comes out, because he wants Hennig to join the Four Horsemen. And party. Hennig's not so sure about the latter, not at all. ___________________   Hour #2 begins, with On the Road...   After, the NWO comes to the ring. Nash is in a wheelchair, so we aren't going to get that big tag match with the Outsiders and Harlem Heat later. Boo. He's here to announce that Konnan has joined the New World Order. Well, duh! And Nash's back hurts. That too.   Harlem Heat are now taking on Scott Hall and Syxx, in what really isn't a streetfight.   - The Heat aren't getting a title shot, so they've got nothing to lose. I suppose that's a good thing for them. The match is kinda boring, which is really too bad. I was expecting it not to be. Nash teases being able to stand throughout the match...until he does, and clotheslines Booker when standing on the ring apron, as the referee's dealing with some stuff outside the ring. Scott Hall picks Booker up, OUTSIDERS EDGE, and the pinfall victory for his team at 9:00. *3/4. ___________________   Masa Chono and The Great Muta w/Vincent are taking on the Public Enemy.   - Go NWO. I really don't like Public Enemy.   - Someone knocked on the door, so I don't have the time. So you know. Bobby Heenan says that Muta's explosiveness reminds him of Chris Benoit. Insert comment here. The match isn't good, but I should mention that it's not just the PE's fault. After about four or five minutes, Muta MISTS Grunge, and Chono gives Grunge a YAKUZA kick for the pinfall victory. *. ___________________ Ric Flair vs. Jeff Jarrett w/Debra is our US Title match on the night...   - Oh darn, Jarrett has a tough title defense. But I'm fine with that! This is one of those matches you could've put on PPV, but why? For a non-finish? Debra begins to cut a promo during the middle of a very good match, until Mongo comes down to the ring. Flair has Jarrett in the FIGURE-FOUR and about to win the title, but Mongo stomps on Jarrett, getting Flair DQ'd at 5:25. Now, Chris Benoit comes to the ring, and they all work over Jarrett. Poor guy. **3/4. Eventually Jarrett gets out of the ring and leaves. ___________________   Mean Gene is interviewing Lex Luger. Top babyface, Lex Luger. Don't forget that. He says that Dennis Rodman should stick to basketball, not only that, but he wants to face Hogan for the WCW Title at Road Wild. You know, Hogan hasn't defended that title on PPV since SuperBrawl. That was five months ago! Luger making that challenge brought the NWO out, who decide to surround the ring. Oh, there's another fake Sting, too. Clearly.   OH WHAT THE FUCK. The guy pulled off his costume, and it was the REAL STING. Legit surprise. With Sting and Luger in the ring, that's how we end the show. ___________________ Should I have said, that's how we end a great show? Because this show really was great, save the bait and switch thing with the Outsiders and Harlem Heat. Best segment for me was the continuation of Eddie's heel tactics, and the worst was all the Nitro Girl stuff. I like looking at them, but it's a waste of time, honestly. ___________________   RAW is from San Antonio, Texas. You know, Shawn Michaels' hometown.   To start the show, The Hart Foundation make their way out, to a chorus of boos. They're basically running down the SummerSlam card, so there's not much to see. That goes on for a bit, until Steve Austin comes out to stand on the entrance ramp. And there's Ken Shamrock! And the Patriot! Psycho Sid! Shawn Michaels! Which one of those is Austin's tag team partner for later on? ___________________   The first match up for public consumption is Jerry Lawler and Brian Christopher vs. Scott and Ivan Putski.   - Yes, I just said that Scott Putski was teaming up with his father. Ivan Putski is from San Antonio, so it makes sense. The sons carry the match, thankfully. Ivan makes the hot tag, and gives Lawler the POLISH HAMMER for the pinfall victory at 4:56. *1/2, not really that bad for a match with two old guys involved. ___________________   Mankind's in the back, but he's just sitting there. After Paul Bearer cuts a promo on the Undertaker, we have....   Tajiri Yoshihiro vs. Taka Michinoku.   - First, Tajiri is not dressed as you'd picture him. Second, he wrestles a style that was almost a complete surprise to me. I liked it. Even still, it isn't good enough to get the victory. After a fun 4 minutes and ten seconds, a Michinoku Driver gets Taka the win. Match was fun, featured lots of aerial stuff and some Tajiri kicks. **1/2. ___________________   Ken Shamrock is in the back, and he says that he isn't Steve Austin's tag team partner. Thank God for that. Los Boricuas arrived in a LOWRIDER, thought I should share. Last, there's a hype video for a SummerSlam highlight show after RAW. Most of the names mentioned in the video package were employed by WCW. I found that sorta odd. ___________________ The Headbangers are facing Miguel and Jose of Los Boricuas in the second tag team match of the show.   - Both of these teams suck, and even worse, Miguel of Los Boricuas has disgusting body hair. Ew.   - Miguel rolls Thrasher up at 4:24 for the victory, *. After the match, the rest of Los Boricuas beat the Headbangers up, until the Disciples of Apocalypse come to the ring. Whites vs. Browns! ___________________   The Patriot is in the back, and he says that he isn't here to be Austin's tag team partner. He's here to stand up for his country.   Once he's done talking, Vince McMahon calls out Shawn Michaels. Shawn just wants to be a part of SummerSlam. Oh, he'd be a part of it. ___________________   We're in the WARZONE, and hey, there's been an accident in the back. That's what Savio Vega says. We now go to the back, and, whoa, there's some motorcycles. One of the Boricuas is smashing the shit out of one, until DOA showed up. DOA kicked their asses, so the Boricuas left in their lowrider. DOA chased them with their motorcycles, and yeah. What a way to start the second hour. ___________________   Jim Neidhart vs. Ken Shamrock is next....   - Finish him with an armbar! I don't know why I said that.   - This really, really sucks. I've got no problem giving it a DUD. Shamrock finishes the Anvil with a sleeper at 4:41. Ha, I was pretty close when I said armbar. After the match, the British Bulldog comes to the ring, and with the help of Neidhart, gives Shamrock a spike piledriver. The Patriot then runs down to the ring, and clears house, to save Shamrock. ___________________   The SummerSlam contest clue is "life." Yeah.   The next match is the New Blackjacks vs. The Legion of Doom.   - Poor Barry Windham, jobbing all the time. Oh, wait! The Godwinns run down the aisle, to attack LOD. Hawk gets slop dropped on the ramp, causing the back of his head to bleed. Then the Godwinns leave. Unfortunately, the match has been canceled. Oh well. ___________________   Flash Funk is taking on Vader, in the match occuring prior to the main event.   - Poor Scorpio, reduced to enhancement talent. This is a big squash at the beginning, but it evens out and becomes competitive midway through. Vader finishes Funk off with a powerbomb, at 4:11. *3/4. After the match, Vader gives Funk a VADERBOMB. ___________________   Austin cuts a promo prior to this, in which he says that he doesn't care about any potential partners. He doesn't want one. Of course, now is the time for Owen Hart and The British Bulldog vs. Steve Austin, for the WWF Tag Team Titles.   - Austin runs right in, and attacks his opponents. By himself, hence my only listing him as part of this match. Who's that guy with the quick feet on screen before the commercial?   - Well, Austin can carry a tag match all by himself.....WHOA. Look on the TitanTron. It's some cool cat with shades and a bandana. DUDE LOVE! Dude came down the ramp, only to be attacked by Owen after the initial freakout period for all involved. Finally Love tags in, and applies the MANDIBLE CLAW to Bulldog. Owen flies off the top with a missile dropkick, breaking the hold. Austin runs in as the referee is distracted, STUNNER, and we've got new champions at 7:39. Oh yeah. ***1/2, a lot of that for the surprise. I love surprises. Love gives Austin his belt, as a present, I guess. Here come some women, cause Love is a P-I-M-P. Austin gives Love back his tag belt, shakes his hand, and leaves. Love dances, to end the show. ___________________ Rating is good, best segment was definitely the main event, and the worst was Shamrock vs. Neidhart. This was not better than Nitro. ___________________   Clash XXXV is next.
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Review: Monday Nitro and Monday Night RAW from 6/30/1997.

LIVE FROM LAS VEGAS ___________________   It's MONDAY NITRO OMG WTF! To start the show, here comes Ric Flair to the ring, with two women and a...mannequin dressed up in Scottish garb. Oh no. One of these women wants to know why they call Piper "Hot Rod." Ouch. Flair says that he's the wrestler of the two, some woman calls Flair a 30 second man, and yeah, that's about it. Nearly forgot that there was a moment of silence for Piper, but yeah, now that's it. Thought for sure that Piper would run in, but he didn't. Lame segment. ___________________ Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho for the Cruiserweight Title begins the action...   - See, Chris Jericho beat Syxx for the Cruiserweight Title over the weekend in Los Angeles. House show title changes every once in a while are pretty important for keeping house business alive, I feel. So that was good. This match sure as fuck isn't, though. Juvi messes up so much stuff that it's ridiculous, so I was glad to see him get double powerbombed. Super frankensteiner and LIONTAMER gets the submission at 6:49. *1/2. Now, Chris Jericho is with Mean Gene. WCW is on the map, you see. Syxx makes his way down the entrance ramp and to the ring, where he says that Jericho didn't beat anything on Saturday until he went back to his hotel room. Ouch. Then Syxx slaps Jericho, and they do a pull-apart, before going to commercial. ___________________   Back from the commercial, both men are being pulled apart by security, and Alex Wright has made his way down to ringside for an interview. He's being held down because he's from Germany. Yeah, you heard. Lex Luger's body has nothing on his. Ok... ___________________ The next match is Dean Malenko vs.....well, Eddie Guerrero attacks Dean in the aisleway, so yeah, it's him.   - Fuck yes for having this on Nitro. Ring attire is the next thing Eddie has to change, cause this is, um, terrible. Good match, of course, albeit super short. Chavo runs down to the ring and jumps on the ring apron, so Eddie rams Dean into him. Brainbuster, FROG SPLASH gets the pinfall for Eddie at 3:58. **. ___________________   Gene Okerlund's with Rey Mysterio, who's sick and tired of Kevin Nash's antics. See, Nash gets a kick out of, well, kicking Rey's ass. Mysterio challenges Nash for a match tonight, Nash comes out and makes fun of him, before accepting. Not going to end well. ___________________   After the break, here comes Eric Bischoff....and HOLLYWOOD HOGAN. No problem with a Hogan appearance. His nicknames are pretty funny, like "ROD THE BOD" and "FLEXY LEXY." They make me laugh, anyway. Almost a useless segment, actually, no almost about it, it just was. ___________________ Hector Garza is going to take on Steven Regal for the Television Title...   - Later on, there's a big six man tag, but I'm not going to spoil it. Anyway, this show hasn't been the best for Mexican wrestlers. No exception here, as Garza blows some stuff. Anyway, REGAL STRETCH gets the submission at 3:36. ___________________   NWO video is definitely skippable...I don't know if PPV ads are cut out, but if they never existed, then well, that's fuckin' stupid.   The Steiner Brothers are with Mean Gene, running their mouth about the title shot they deserve. Here comes Scott Hall and Kevin Nash in response...and they're bringing the whole crew. Hall has a contract for the Steiners to sign, and they sign it, then leave. BUT, the contract says that the Steiners have to get through Masahiro Chono and The GREAT MUTA before facing the Outsiders for the tag straps. The Steiners were made to look mentally handicapped, so...that was good. ___________________ Super Calo vs. Psychosis w/Sonny Onoo is next...if you forgot why Onoo is managing Psychosis, basically, they made a deal in a throwaway segment.   - Onoo grabs Super Calo's leg during a suplex, which causes Psychosis to fell on top of him and get the pinfall victory at 2:40. Literally a nothing match. *. LA PARKA runs down to the ring, and breaks a wooden chair over Calo's back. WHAT THE FUCK. Juventud Guerrera runs in, and causes Psychosis to dropkick La Parka on accident, before leaving. WHAT THE FUCK. Seriously though, what the hell is this? ___________________   Hour #2 begins with Mortis and Wrath w/James Vandenberg taking on High Voltage.   - Glacier and Ernest Miller run down to the ring really quick, and as Mortis has Rage in fireman's carry position and the referee is distracted, Miller kicks Mortis from the top rope and Rage pins Mortis for 3 at 1:15. 1/2*, I guess whenever they need a run-in for a loss, High Voltage gets the call. This isn't the first time, as you'd know from reading my blog. ___________________   There's a limo in the back, IS THIS THE IMPACT PLAYER!   Well, On the Road in Memphis is definitely fast-forward material, but....OMG WTF 1997 IT'S RAVEN SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW. ___________________ Konnan vs. Jeff Jarrett is for the US Championship...   - Yes, Raven was really in the front row, I shit you not. Anyway, Jarrett's music sucks, and of course, so does his ring attire. Re-tool, please. Konnan is tolerable, and I'm sure that's a minority opinion. I don't think he's good by any stretch, but he's rather funny.   - Every match (save one) has been off, tonight. No exception here. Flair and the rest of the Horsemen come down to the ring, and Flair helps Jarrett win by figure-four submission at 4:11. *. Jarrett's Horsemen probation is over, and you know why, well, it's because Jarrett is no longer a Horseman. HAHA. ___________________ Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kevin Nash is the next contest...   - Boy oh boy. Rey runs down the aisle and attacks Nash, who then beats his ass. Wow. THE JACKKNIFE gives Nash the pinfally victory at 1:47. I don't understand the point of having Rey get whipped after challenging Nash. Whatever. Anyway, Konnan comes to the ring to save Rey...but instead, he heel hooks him and leaves. More dumb stuff, * for the match. ___________________   Rey gets wheeled out of the ring area, and Mike Tenay asks Raven a few questions. Tenay's questions get no answer, but Raven does push Tenay, indicating that he has nothing to say. ___________________ Now, as advertised, Hulk Hogan Oh wait, he's not in this match. Who the hell am I fooling? It's really Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Randy Savage w/Elizabeth vs. Lex Luger, The Giant, and Diamond Dallas Page w/Kimberly.   - It isn't exactly a match, though. They brawl for about, uh, 3:10 before Hogan comes to the ring, and helps the NWO work over the WCW guys. Savage gives Page the FLYING ELBOW from up top, and wait a minute...   IT'S STING!   Umm...I assure you, that is not the real Sting. THERE'S THE REAL STING!   Yeah, that guy clears the ring. CURT HENNIG runs down the aisle, RAVEN jumps the guardrail...but we are out of time. ___________________   That segment ran about 7 minutes, btw. Well, that made an otherwise dull show a very good one. I'm big on surprises, and this had some good ones. Best segment was obviously the finish, and the worst was Nash squashing Rey. I hated that. ___________________ RAW is from Des Moines, Iowa. ___________________   The first thing on tap is Triple H vs. Ken Shamrock.   - There, now Ken finally has his set entrance music. Took long enough. HHH cuts a promo before the match...don't forget, Canadian Stampede is next week. Also, Jerry Lawler is back on commentary for the duration of the show.   - Mankind runs down the ramp, distracting HHH, and Shamrock gives HHH a belly-to-belly suplex for 3 at 4:41. **, not a bad opener. ___________________   We look back to Ahmed Johnson joining the Nation and his subsequent injury...he blames the Undertaker for DOA injuring him, who knows why.   Next, Michael Cole interviews the Legion of Doom, and Sunny advertises this million dollar contest for SummerSlam. Ok. ___________________ D'Lo Brown and Faarooq vs. the Legion of Doom is the first of two semifinal contests in the Tag Team Tournament.   - The Godwinns are at the top of the entrance ramp...surely they'll interfere.   - I hate business exposing maneuvers. Case in point, Hawk gets tossed to the buckle, D'Lo puts his head down, and Hawk doesn't run at him, for a second or two at least. Dumb dumb dumb.   - Anyway, LOD hits the Doomsday Device on D'LO, the referee gets distracted, and Henry Godwinn runs down to the ring. He hits Hawk in the head with the slop bucket, and Faarooq pins Hawk for 3 at 3:02. 1/2*. Faarooq wants the title shot for Canadian Stampede, but it was handed to Vader. Why? Because Vader's white, you see. Savio Vega comes down the aisle, and he has a microphone. Faarooq starts talkin' about jalapenos, so Vega calls out his new gang. OH FUCK. They attack the Nation, then DOA come down and everyone fights. Funny stuff. ___________________   Michael Cole is with this new gang, who calls themselves Los Boricuas. They're here to kick some ASSSSS. ___________________   Video ad for RAW magazine...then, Scott Putski takes on Brian Christopher.   - No, not Putski. Please. Anyway, Light Heavyweights. JR mentions that Great Sasuke will be at Canadian Stampede...oh yes. Lawler distracts Putski, which allows Christopher to pick up the victory at 3:38. **. Putski tries to attack Christopher after the match, but Lawler and Christopher give him a spike piledriver. Heh. ___________________   Taker cuts a promo on Paul Bearer...mostly, when Bearer talks, wait to hear Taker's side of the story before judging him.   The Great Sasuke is facing Taka Michinoku at Canadian Stampede.... ___________________ Next match is Brian Pillman vs. Mankind w/a Pick Me Steve sign.   - Pillman attacked a "fan" during Shotgun Saturday Night, so obviously, he commented about it in a pre-match interview. I love Mankind's sign he wears around his neck. Mankind gives JR a present...and it's a replica of his hand, yes, the hand he gave JR a mandible claw with.   - Stone Cold has a few comments of his own, and he says that Mankind sucks. Funny. After the commercial, HHH hits Brian Pillman with a chair on accident, and Mankind chases HHH to the back at 6:02 (shown), getting counted out. Weird. ___________________   Paul Bearer now makes his way to the ring...and some fan attacks him. No, really, someone did. Weird. He tells the story...and there's too much information to relay, here. Bearer does a great job at this. Well, basically, Undertaker burned the funeral home. Wow.   Sable has a clue for the SummerSlam Million Dollar Sweepstakes, it is...THE KEY! OMG. ___________________ The Headbangers are taking on the British Bulldog and Owen Hart in the other Tag Team Tournament Semifinal. - Winner faces the Nation in the final, and the winner of that faces Steve Austin and a partner of his choice.   - Bret Hart is on the phone...and the match is over at 4:08 after Owen gives Mosh a jackknife pin. Hey, there's JIM CORNETTE! He talks for a bit, and blows a whistle, which sends a team down to the ring...that being THE HEADHUNTERS. Ok, wow. They kick the shit out of the Headbangers, obv. A cool gimmick (in my mind) would've been Cornette introducing a new team every week, only for them to get their asses kicked and disappear forever. Maybe I'm crazy. ___________________   Taker tells his story...Paul Bearer is not telling the full truth. Paul will be struck down. ___________________   Rockabilly vs. Vader is right now.   - WHO'S DA MAN! Honky Tonk Man hits Vader with a guitar, but it does nothing. Nothing at all. After 20 seconds, Undertaker runs down, and fights with Vader, until Paul Bearer grabs a microphone. Taker runs over to Bearer, grabs him, and says that he'll kill him. Bearer says that Kane told him the story, and that Kane's alive. Vader attacks Taker, which ends the segment. ___________________ Jim Neidhart vs. Steve Austin is the main event...   - Brutal. Absolutely brutal. Bret attacks Shamrock in the back, so he really wasn't in Calgary at all. Bret runs in for the DQ at 8:14, DUD. Bret applies the RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR on Austin, until Mankind gives Bret the MANDIBLE CLAW. Pillman and Owen wreck Mick with chairs, and that ends the show. Boo. ___________________   Show was decent, I suppose. Not enough build for Canadian Stampede. Best segment was probably HHH vs. Shamrock, and the worst was definitely Austin vs. Neidhart. Brutal match. ___________________   WrestleWar '90 review will be up soon.
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Review: Monday Nitro and Monday Night Raw from 6/16/97.

We're LIVE FROM CHICAGO, and the NWO is on their way to the ring. In this case, that means Dennis Rodman and HOLLYWOOD HOGAN. This being Chicago and all, the pop for Rodman's entrance is huge. They're smoking cigars, and you know why, because Rodman and Hogan are supposed to face Lex Luger and the GIANT at Bash at the Beach. The NWO really doesn't want that though, instead, they want to face them tonight. Rodman calls out "Lex Luthor," but they get no answer.   At Great American Bash last night, Ric Flair brawled with Syxx, which led to Piper losing their chance at the WCW Tag Titles. So, Flair will be here tonight to explain himself. ___________________   The opener for tonight is Glacier vs. Mortis w/James Vandenberg...   - I think Vandenberg still has Glacier's helmet. One little thing I noticed, Glacier has blue borders around the letters in his name on the display during the entrance. Seriously.   - Wrath comes down the aisle and onto the apron, but Mortis runs into him, which leads to a CRYONIC KICK. That allows Glacier to pin Mortis at 2:14. *3/4. After the bout, Wrath attacks Glacier, until Ernest Miller cleans house. What a terrible angle this is, but that said, this is generally my favorite part of the show. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Madusa, who's being forced to retire after losing to Akira Hokuto last night. Sucks for her. She's a woman of her word, and that's it. See you guys around. ___________________   Dean Malenko comes to the ring, and you know what, seeing as Eddie Guerrero interfered and cost him the US Title against Jeff Jarrett last week, he wants to face him, right now. Instead, Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out, seemingly to stick up for his uncle. And they'll have a match.   - Dean was looking around for Eddie for most of the match, btw.   - Chavo put in a good effort, but he tapped out to the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF at 3:38. **. Eddie Guerrero's at the entrance, but he just leaves without saying anything. ___________________   La Parka vs. Super Calo is next, supposedly because these two are having some problems.   - Calo does that tope con hilo which takes him into the crowd, and I'm starting to hate it. Way too dangerous.   - A flying headscissors off the top gives Calo the pinfall victory at 3:44, and after the bout, LA PARKA breaks a plastic chair over Calo's head. You know, because he's the Chairman of WCW. ** for the whole thing. ___________________   Lex Luger and the GIANT are with Mean Gene, the Giant just babbles, and they want to face the NWO tonight as well. So it'll happen. By the way, I wrote that spoiler into my notes before watching the rest of the show. Just so you know. ___________________   The next matchup on the card tonight is the Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri vs. the Amazing French Canadians w/Col. Robert Parker.   - You see, Sherri and Parker, well, they have history. Last month on WWE 24/7, their wedding was shown. They weren't able to get married, though, thanks to Madusa.   - Jacques Rougeau wants to sing the Canadian National Anthem, but really, all he wants to do is attack Harlem Heat. Last night at Great American Bash, Harlem Heat defeated the Steiners by DQ, thanks to Vincent. That win made them the #1 contenders for the tag titles.   - Booker pinned Jacques at 3:45 after an elevated Harlem Sidekick. The match was only acceptable, so I'll rate it *1/4.   Mean Gene is with JJ Dillon, who says that Harlem Heat's win last night was tainted. They don't want the NWO manipulating results, so next week, there's going to be a rematch. Vincent comes out and says that he did Harlem Heat a favor (this should've occured before the thing with Dillon, not after) at Great American Bash, so Harlem Heat kick his ass. Pseudo face turn right there. ___________________   Rey Mysterio vs. Syxx w/Scott Hall and Kevin Nash for the Cruiserweight Title is up next, and last time these two faced on Nitro, Rey was left battered and bruised in the center of the ring. That'll probably happen this time too.   - It's hour #2 of Nitro, so the pyro goes off. DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH. Only in WCW, I tell you.   - After a Rey hurricanrana off the top, the NWO runs into the ring. BUT, Rey fights them off, and knocks both men out of the ring. That was all the distraction Syxx needed, though, and he slaps on the Buzzkiller to force Rey to tap at 4:47. **1/4. After the bout, Nash JACKKNIFES Rey right on his head. Ouch.   Nash gets on the mic, and talks about Flair and Piper. Hey yo, those guys aren't icons. Here comes Randy Savage, who talks about NWO 4 LIFE and that nobody's BETTAH THAN THE MACHO MAN....OOOOOOOHH YEEAH! DDP is in the crowd to dispute that fact, saying that Savage can't do a thing by himself. He wants to face Hall and Nash, seeing as he's found a partner and all. He's not saying who, though. I'm not going to say who it is, in case anyone's curious. Just wait until we get closer to the show. Don't spoil it for yourself if you don't know. ___________________   The next match is Chris Jericho vs. the Ultimo Dragon.   - Hey, a matchup which frequently occured in WAR. Sonny Onoo tries to pay Jericho off, but Jericho pushes him to the ground.   - Unfortunately, this match is nowhere near as good as its predecessors. It wouldn't even have been good if given time. Dragon pins Jericho with a tiger suplex at 4:38, thankfully. *. ___________________   On the Road with Lee Marshall in Macon, yadayadayada...   After, Mean Gene is with Rowdy Roddy Piper. He doesn't want Rodman to steal his kilt, which elicits a few boos. He wants to talk to Ric Flair, obviously. Flair comes out and says it was the fight of his life once he made it past that curtain at the Bash..but mostly, he's sorry. ___________________   Buff Bagwell and Scott Norton are set to take on Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael, who are of course accompanied by Debra.   - Mongo was a Chicago Bear. Obviously he's beloved by this crowd. Mongo gives Jarrett a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER in mid-strut, and Buff pins Jarrett for the win. My time was messed up, but this wasn't very long. You know why Mongo tombstoned Jarrett? Well, at the Great American Bash, Jarrett accidentally hit Mongo with a briefcase, allowing Mongo to be pinned by Kevin Greene. I reviewed that match some time ago. ** for the match and turn. ___________________   HOLLYWOOD Hogan and Dennis Rodman are set to take on Lex Luger and the GIANT, but...the WCW guys haven't made their entrance. Rodman and Hogan are going to leave, until the GIANT and Luger encounter them in the aisleway. They go back to the ring, and Giant gets Rodman in the CHOKESLAM. The ring is being PELTED with trash, and Hogan stops the chokeslam. Rodman clocks the Giant with the WCW Title, and Hogan hits Luger with it. The typical NWO beatdown ensues, as does the spraypaint. I'd be lying if I said I've seen more trash thrown into a wrestling ring before. This even tops Bash at the Beach from the year previous. This ends the show, and honestly, this was the perfect time for a Sting moment. But with Rodman there, who really knows how the crowd is going to react, this being Chicago. ___________________   The show was good. Best segment was, uh, the ending. Simply because I'm not tired of the beatdowns yet, although I damn sure will be before too long. The worst was the whole Glacier/Miller vs. Wrath/Mortis stuff. This isn't good. ___________________   Now, to MONDAY NIGHT RAW, from Lake Placid, NY. ___________________   Intro to the show and all that, Bret Hart won't be there tonight, and Shawn Michaels is out 4-6 weeks because of his backstage fight with Bret. Because of this, we're going to have a tag team tournament. The winner of that is going to take on Steve Austin and a partner of his choice. Steve Austin now comes to the ring, and in mid-speech, Mankind comes on the TitanTron. He thinks that being flipped the bird shows a bond between them, but Austin says that he doesn't need a freak following him around. He didn't need Shawn Michaels shaking his ass all the time, either. Well, Mankind says that he has a nice ass, Austin says he has a fat ass, and that's the end of their conversation. We flashback to what happened last week when Austin was attacked before his match with Brian Pillman, and he's going to whip Pillman's ass when they face off later tonight. Here comes Ken Shamrock, to different music, again. He challenges Austin, and Austin accepts, saying he'll beat him after he beats Pillman.   Pillman has an interview in which he displays his dislike for the fact that his stablemates will be handcuffed to the ringposts during his match... ___________________   And now, we have the New Blackjacks taking on Owen Hart and the British Bulldog. First round of the tag tourney, I might add.   - There isn't much else to say, other than that Owen gave Bradshaw a spinning heel kick and Bradshaw was pinned for 3 by Bulldog at 3:39. *1/2. ___________________   Paul Bearer and the Undertaker are backstage, where Bearer tells us that he can do WHATEVER HE WANTS.   Ken Shamrock is backstage too, and he cuts a terrible promo. I drew nothing from it. ___________________   HHH w/Chyna is facing Phineas Godwinn now...   - Thank goodness Henry Godwinn had a messed up neck. It saved us from many terrible tag team matches featuring those two hicks.   - Chyna weakly pushed the entrance attire guy before the match. Super weak. Anyhow, toward the end of the match, Chyna gets on the apron, and Phineas kisses her. That's all the distraction HHH needed to give Godwinn the PEDIGREE for the 3 count at 3:34. 1/2*, wasn't good at all. Henry Godwinn comes down the aisle, and he argues with Phineas. He tells Vince McMahon that it's "his fault," and leaves. Vince Russo's fingerprints are all over that. ___________________   Faarooq is with D'Lo Brown, and Faarooq says that two BLACKER members will be added to the Nation tonight. ___________________   Sunny is the guest ring announcer for...Brian Christopher vs. Chris Candido. Yes, I just said that. And Paul Heyman is on commentary.   - I like the angle, but this is just weird. A USWA vs. ECW match on WWF TV?   - Jerry Lawler comes down to the ring, and pulls Candido off the top rope, getting his son DQ'd at 2:44. Lawler, Christopher and Rob Van Dam all stomp on Candido, until Tommy Dreamer makes the save. *. ___________________   Ahmed Johnson says that the Undertaker needs to do things the easy way, just like Paul Bearer said. Don't understand that. ___________________   Jim Neidhart faces Goldust w/Marlena now....   - It's weird seeing the ANVIL in a singles match. Unfortunately, this match is as bad as it sounds. The British Bulldog comes to the ring, you know, because Marlena slapped him last week. Goldust slaps the Bulldog, and pins Neidhart after a punch at 3:46. Neidhart took a ridiculous bump on a punch you could see didn't even hit. So, DUD. ___________________   After a few promos, we have Steve Austin vs. Brian Pillman. The rest of the Hart Foundation is handcuffed to the ringposts.   - Owen continuously tries to get the handcuffs off, to no avail. At least for now. Austin loves to beat on the rest during the match, and we go to a commercial.   - We're back, and Pillman's nose is broken. When Austin gives one of the two referees a STUNNER, Owen reaches into that official's pocket and grabs the keys to unlock himself. He unlocks Neidhart and Bulldog, so at 8:30 (shown), Pillman gets disqualified, as they pound on Austin. **.   Mankind, Goldust and Shamrock all run down to the ring to break things up, at least until Shamrock gives Austin a belly-to-belly suplex. They brawl, until the Legion of Doom comes out. Mankind has mysteriously disappeared, and Goldust grabs a microphone. He wants these five that are in the ring right now to be the five that take on the Hart Foundation at Canadian Stampede. And you know what, he thinks they'll kick their asses. Austin says that he doesn't need the other four, but seeing as he has to have them to take part in that match, he's going to accept. So the main event at Canadian Stampede is set. ___________________   The Hart Foundation is in the back, and they're fine with facing those five. They don't discriminate, they love to kick everyone's ass, they say. ___________________   Here comes Sable, who's the guest ring announcer for this match between Robert Fulton and Tommy Rogers.   - First reaction, WHAT THE FUCK? The Fantastics are facing each other? On WWF TV no less? It's short, but good anyway. At 2:48, Rogers pins Fulton after an UNPRETTIER. *3/4. I can't understand this. After the bout, Marc Mero comes down the aisle. You know why? Because he kinda wants Sable to go to the back. I loved this angle, and the seeds have been planted. Fortunately or unfortunately, he doesn't wrestle until September. ___________________   The Headbangers are taking on Jerry Lawler and Rob Van Dam as part of this tag team tournament...   - Heyman and Tommy Dreamer are in the crowd...you know something's gonna happen. These old clips make me miss RVD...just being honest.   - Big chants of "YOU SOLD OUT" are pointed towards RVD...and when the referee is distracted, THE SANDMAN comes down the aisle and canes Lawler in the nuts. The Headbangers pin Lawler after a cool double team move (don't know what to call it)at 4:38, and now, we brawl. There's a huge fight, at least until it's broken up. Match was *1/2. ___________________   Ahmed Johnson and the Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs. Faarooq and a mystery partner is our main event.   - You know who the mystery partner is? Well, after much delay, it's KAMA MUSTAFA. Talk about a disappointment. We go to a commercial...   - After the commercial, Kama pins Taker CLEAN with a uranage at 3:49 (shown). Yes, I just said that KAMA pinned the Undertaker clean, 1/2*. Ahmed gets in the ring after the match, and gives the Undertaker the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE. Following that...he stands with the Nation, and salutes, to much disdain. He's member #4.   End show. ___________________   The show was decent, the best segment was probably the lead up to the 10 man tag at Canadian Stampede, and the worst was Jim Neidhart vs. Goldust. Nitro was much better this week, and if not for the Stampede buildup and Ahmed turn, we'd be talking about a pretty bad show. ___________________   The RAW from before WrestleMania X8 will be up next. And then of course, WM X8 itself.
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Review: Monday Night RAW from Hartford, Connecticut, 6/9/97.

Time to get this one out of the way... ___________________   To begin the show, we get some King of the Ring highlights, and then, our first match is the Legion of Doom and Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq, Savio Vega, and Crush.   - The Nation is falling apart, so to speak. I won't spoil what happens, mainly because I don't want to remember HOW exactly it happens.   - Faarooq's partners left him all by his lonesome, so Ahmed gives him the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE, getting the pinfall at 6:09. *3/4. ___________________   The King of the Ring winner was HHH, who's with Vince McMahon in the ring. He tells Vince that the King of the Ring was supposed to be his last year, but Vince's politics got in the way. I larfed. Anyway, he says that this is his ring, at least until Mankind comes on the TitanTron. He wants a rematch, but Chyna tells him to kiss her ass. Mankind says he's a good kisser, and makes his way to the ring. HHH attacks him with the KotR crown, but Mankind steals it for his own when finished. ___________________   Before this match, we flashback to Bulldog's European Title win. You know why? It's because this is our first European Title defense on RAW, as Goldust is taking on the British Bulldog.   - During the match, they do a little "Bulldog's foot on the ropes while being pinned, but they count to three anyway thing." Tim White spots it after the count, and the match continues as we go to a commercial.   - From what I've seen on this show, Vince is a much better announcer when not paired up with Jerry Lawler. I knew that already, but seemed to have forgotten. Anyway, the match ends in a double countout at 7:20 (shown). **. After the match, Bulldog drops Goldust face-first onto the steel steps. So Marlena slaps him, twice. Bulldog was going to hit her with a chair as she was keeping Goldust from being attacked, but Ken Shamrock runs down for the save. Bulldog leaves. ___________________   In the back, the Nation of Domination argued. Faarooq said that he's going to the ring, without Vega and Crush. He says something about Vega and jalapeno's, and kicks Vega out of the Nation. He also kicks Crush out of the Nation, along with Clarence Mason and two of the black dudes that went with him to the ring. That leaves D'Lo Brown, who's allowed to stay. Next week, Faarooq has a challenge, he wants D'Lo and himself to face Ahmed Johnson and the Undertaker. ___________________   Paul Heyman and Tommy Dreamer (yes, I really said those two names) come down to ringside through the crowd, and you know why? Well, Rob Van Dam has a match later. But right now, it's Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon vs. the Headbangers.   - I hate the Headbangers. Well, LaFon accidentally comes off the top and splashes Furnas, which allows the Headbangers to get the pinfall victory at 3:38. *.   Jerry Lawler's with RVD, because that's his guy. ___________________   Time for the WARZONE, and Steve Austin's in the ring with Vince. Vince takes the asshole route, because he's outraged that Austin whipped on Pillman during the PPV last night and made him drink toilet water. He'll kick Pillman's ass later, and at Canadian Stampede, he wants in the 10 man tag match (Good thing this'll be on 24/7 next month). He calls Gorilla Monsoon a fat ass who better not get in his way, bottom line and all that, before leaving. ___________________   NOW, we get Rob Van Dam's match, as he's taking on Flash Funk. Lawler accompanied him to the ring, and he'll join on commentary as well.   - There's great aerial stuff in the beginning, but even before that, Dreamer tried to fight RVD from the other side of the guardrail. Officials came down to separate, and the match began.   - Suffice it to say, I don't think many 4 minute matches can be better than this. These two tore the house down, IMO. Anyway, RVD pinned him after the split-legged moonsault at 4:23. Would've been great if the time was 4:20, harhar. After the match, Heyman and Dreamer jump the rail, so they brawl with Lawler and RVD until officials break it up. ___________________   Ken Shamrock comes down for commentary, during this non-title bout between Psycho Sid and Owen Hart w/the Anvil.   - The look Owen had on his face when Sid's music hit was great. Probably an understatement.   - The crowd loves Sid, but who knows why. It never made sense. Good thing he left again or was forced out, because the booking indicates that he was going to be in the 10 Man Tag at Canadian Stampede. I don't know for sure, that's just a guess. It would've been ruined if that was the case.   - "Softball Sid" chant...before Ken Shamrock runs over to Neidhart and gives him a belly-to-belly suplex after multiple attempted interferences. He should've snapped. Sid finished with the chokeslam at 4:17, 3/4*. Like I always say, non-title means something's up. ___________________   Here comes Sable to model a RAW shirt...was wondering where this segment went over the past few weeks. Anyway, I'm still embarassed for Michael Hayes.   Now, is part four of the Mankind interview. Much like when Pillman appeared in ECW, I'll just post it. Nothing else does it justice.   ___________________   Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man takes on Bart Gunn next, and nobody really gives a fuck.   - I like when former partners face each other way on down the line. Just because. I never like the way they break up, unless one throws the other through a plate glass window. Anyway, Rockabilly picks up the pinfall at 2:54 after a swinging neckbreaker. *1/2. ___________________   Brian Pillman vs. Steve Austin is our much anticipated main event, but....the Harts attack Austin before the match. MANKIND(?) comes out to save Austin, and now, we have a match, that being Pillman vs. Mankind.   - Ok, Mankind coming out didn't make a whole lot of sense. You could say that he wants to team up against the Harts, but that doesn't explain him running down to the ring for a match. JR plays up that these two are nutcases, and the crowd shits on the match. That's great. Owen and the rest attack during the MANDIBLE CLAW, at 5:13, getting Pillman DQ'd. Austin and Shamrock come out to save Mankind, and once the ring is cleared, Austin gives Shamrock a STUNNER, and gives Mankind two middle fingers, to end the show. 1/2* for the match. ___________________   Rating: Decent. Next week will be good, I'm sure, as that's the direction where the angles seem to be pointed in. Undertaker not being there made zero sense, he's the champion!   Best Segment: The fourth part of the Mankind interview.   Worst Segment: Furnas and LaFon vs. the Headbangers. Cannot stand the Headbangers. ___________________   I'll put up a Survivor Series '07 review up within the next few days.
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Review: Monday Night RAW and WCW Monday Nitro from 6/2/97.

Nitro is from Dayton, Ohio. Had to get that out of the way. ___________________   The NWO comes to the ring, in this case, that means Syxx and Scott Hall. For a promo, you know. Well, JJ Dillon comes out, and says that Scott Hall MUST face Ric Flair tonight. If Hall doesn't face Flair, he and Nash have to vacate their tag titles, so really, Hall has no choice. He accepts. ___________________   Intro to Nitro and all that, which brings us to Alex Wright vs. Glacier.   - It's Glacier's first match since Slamboree, unfortunately, there's a whole lot of spot miscommunication. In a match that only lasts 1:38, that knocks it down to a DUD. Glacier finished it with the CRYONIC KICK, so now, James Vandenberg comes to the ring, to distract Glacier from the sneak attack of Mortis and Wrath. They attack, but Glacier fended them all off, after Mortis accidentally kicked an eager Wright. Wright wanted to join in, see. ___________________   Our next match, featuring someone who hasn't wrestled on this program since I got 24/7, is Buff Bagwell w/Scott Norton vs. Joe Gomez.   - In a split-screen prior to the match, Buff and Norton talk about NWO in Japan and all that. Buff Blockbuster (awesome move) finishes at 3:07. *1/4.   WCW Saturday Night ad follows, and Mike Tenay is in the crowd, giving us information about Ernest Miller. If only this never happened... ___________________   Hugh Morrus is scheduled to face Prince Iaukea, but before the match, Konnan attacks Morrus at the entranceway. Morrus is dazed, but the match will go on.   - Wow, they blew the finish. Iaukea was supposed to slide under Morrus and roll him up, but Iaukea ran right into Morrus' leg. They do it again, and Iaukea rolls him up for the win at :47. You know what, you get -* for fucking up the only thing that was supposed to happen in the match. ONLY THING. That finish exposed the business so bad that my MENTALLY HANDICAPPED cousin asked me if wrestling was fake. Naturally, I told him no, otherwise, he'd try to do wrestling moves on his brother. Don't want any part of that. ___________________   JJ Dillon is with Mean Gene, because he's looking for a future #1 contending tag team. See, he says that the Steiners will be #1 contenders, if they win tonight. If. They'll face the winner of Piper/Flair vs. the Outsiders, I believe. Harlem Heat come out, and they're pissed.   DDP video, from when he was a jobber, to now. Great American Bash hype and all that, he's facing Randy Savage again. ___________________   The next match is the Steiner Brothers vs. Masahiro Chono and the Great Muta.   - This is a dream match, although it won't work out the way it should. Not that much happened at the beginning, but the crowd was in the palm of their hands. After the heat segment, Chono accidentally gives Muta a YAKUZA KICK! Harlem Heat come to the ring and attack Rick Steiner with a chair, and that allows Muta to pin Rick for the 3 count at 8:53. This was one of those matches you kinda need to see, just because. **3/4. JJ Dillon comes to the ring, and announces that this match is up for review. Harlem Heat have a match later, as well.   Hour #2 starts, and Mean Gene is with Ric Flair. Flair cuts an insane promo on Hall, and storms off. This was nuts, even for Flair. ___________________   Michael Wallstreet is up against Dean Malenko for the US Title...   - Nick Patrick is a referee, so we're going to have some friction between he and Wallstreet. I absolutely cannot stand this angle. There's some good action in here, but I'm kinda bothered with how I know this match is going to end. Anyway, Jeff Jarrett tried some interference, but it didn't help. Malenko applies the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF, and Patrick stands in front of Wallstreet so that he cannot reach the bottom rope in order to break the hold. Wallstreet submits at 6:22, **.   After the match, Mean Gene is with Jarrett and Debra. Jarrett is going to face Malenko next week in Boston, and for some reason, Mongo comes out and says that he wants to know when Jarrett comes to the ring. Then he cuts a bad promo on Kevin Greene that I don't care about. ___________________   We get to the Harlem Heat match, as they're facing Ciclope and Damien.   - Ciclope has the best getup of any luchador. For real. Barbarian's supposed to face Chris Benoit later, but it wasn't shown.   - The Steiners come to ringside and hit Booker T with a chair, before tossing him back into the ring, where Damien comes off the top with a big splash for 3 at 3:31. *. Now that's an upset. ___________________   Like I said, Benoit/Barbarian was skipped, so now, it's time for the main event, that being Ric Flair vs. Scott Hall w/Syxx.   - There's a whole lot of Syxx interference, but I don't have a problem with it. Flair did this little thing where he Flair Flipped onto the apron and jumped onto Syxx, who was on the floor. That was cool. This was a nice little TV main event, until Hall hit Flair with his title belt at 7:49, getting himself disqualified. **3/4. Hall and Syxx continually attack Syxx, until Jarrett and Mongo save him from the attack. Good match. ___________________   Some NWO members are coming to the ring, this time, it's Randy Savage and Elizabeth. Savage takes Mean Gene hostage, and tells him to come along with him to the ring. Macho says that he's the best ever, which causes JJ Dillon to make ANOTHER appearance. Dillon tells Savage not to put his hands on announcers, so Savage attacks him. Bischoff comes to the ring to make Savage stop, and Bischoff tells Dillon that he deserves it, seeing as he kept running his mouth. That's the end of the show. ___________________   Stupid ending to a good show. Two DUD's, but two pretty good matches as well. Best segment was Hall/Flair, and the worst was Morrus/Iaukea. Nitro is less of a program because Syxx is holding the Cruiserweight Title and not defending it. That's just my opinion. ___________________   RAW is from Huntington, West Virginia this week. Expect huge reactions for Steve Austin. ___________________   To begin the show, the Undertaker makes his way to the ring, for an interview with Vince McMahon. Taker says that he pretty much had to join Paul Bearer. He then runs down Paul Bearer, to the point where Bearer makes his way to the ring. Bearer says that he will RULE THE WORLD, so you just know that Psycho Sid will have something to say about that. Sid trashes Bearer for joining up with Bearer, and wants his rematch, that he never received after WrestleMania. Taker accepts, and Faarooq has something to say about that. This time next week, he says he'll be the Champion. Sure. ___________________   Ahmed Johnson faces Faarooq now...   - Before the match, there's a hype video, seeing as this is a long-running feud, and all. The Nation was sent away from the ring, but they came back anyway.   - At the end, Taker whips Faarooq into Ahmed, who rams his own head into the steel steps. Faarooq throws Ahmed in, and pins him for the 3 count at 3:09. *3/4. Surprisingly good. After the match, Taker chokeslammed Ahmed, cause he pushed him. He shouldn't have done that. ___________________   The Hart Foundation is in the ring with Vince, and HBK and Austin are on the TitanTron. Because Austin attacked Bret, Bret can't wrestle at King of the Ring. HBK's really pissed off at Austin, so he goes off to fight him. They argue instead, as the Harts are planning something. They want Austin to face HBK at King of the Ring, and on next week's show, Austin will face Brian Pillman. ___________________   The next match was Bob Holly vs. Owen Hart w/the Hart Foundation for the Intercontinental Title.   - This was competitive, while it lasted. Honestly, they tore the house down for 3:17. The SHARPSHOOTER finished things up, so Owen retained his title. **1/4.   HBK says that he'll face Austin at King of the Ring...and later, we get to see more of the Mick Foley interview. YES! ___________________   In another singles match, we have Goldust w/Marlena taking on HHH w/Chyna.   - They're really digging into the old feud vault here. There were some highlights before the match, typically.   - Goldust's face paint is BIZARRE. HHH accidentally knees Chyna in the back, which gives Goldust the distraction he needs to roll HHH up for 3 at 3:48. *1/4. Hopefully that feud's done. ___________________   Before this match, the Legion of Doom cut a promo. Typical LOD promo, Hawk blabbering and all that.   So yeah, it's the Legion of Doom vs. HBK and Steve Austin for the WWF Tag Team Titles.   - The Warzone has begun, and judging by the initial reaction, HBK is the heel. Like I said, these people love their STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD. There's a commercial break...   - Back from the break, Austin and HBK duck out to confront the Hart Foundation at ringside, but they wind up fighting each other instead. That gets them counted out at 7:05 (shown). HBK gets the better of the brawl, but as for the match itself, the champions pulled out all their little tricks in order to have a good match. And it worked...**1/2. ___________________   Jerry Lawler is on commentary for this Mankind vs. Savio Vega in the first round of King of the Ring match, but first, we get to see part 3 of the Mankind interview. He talks about the deathmatch tournament in Japan, mostly.   - Mankind's sorta in-between. The adult males are cheering him, but otherwise, no. When he attacked Jerry Lawler, he won some of them over. Crush accidentally punched Savio Vega, so Mankind was able to pin Vega for the win at 3:02. Crush and Vega argue after the match, in somewhat of a precursor to GANG WARS. *1/2. ___________________   So, the King of the Ring card is shaping up like this. Undertaker vs. Faarooq for the WWF Title, Mankind vs. Jerry Lawler and Ahmed Johnson vs. HHH in King of the Ring action, LOD and Sid vs. Owen Hart, the British Bulldog and Jim Neidhart, and Austin vs. HBK. I think that's it, as for what was advertised. ___________________   Psycho Sid vs. Undertaker w/Paul Bearer in a non-title match is both the main event and our "WrestleMania rematch..."   - I don't get the non-title part. I never do. JR makes a reference to Sid and softball, which had me laughing for a bit. This was better than the WrestleMania match, which isn't to say a whole lot at all. The TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER finishes at 4:46, 1/2*. So yeah, they basically buried Sid for no-showing a few months back. He got only a little offense. The Nation of Domination attacks, but Sid tries to fend them off. He can't, and the Nation beats both Sid and Taker to end the show. ___________________   I suppose RAW was good. That said, for once, I think Nitro was better. More matches of length, but not only that, there wasn't any of that stupid Paul Bearer stuff that's beginning to get on my nerves. The best segment on RAW was LOD vs. Austin/HBK, and the worst was LOD's promo. I've never been able to understand what they're trying to say. ___________________   Things are going to change. I'm done reviewing current shows, because I don't have the time. I'll stick to PPV's, old RAW's and Nitro's, SNME's, Clash shows, and anything else like that, such as Coliseum Video's or overseas programs like European Rampage '91. So yeah, random thoughts are dead, although I'm keeping the review style for the MNW program. Doing it this way gives me more time to write things, which is better for me. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing about these programs. I could always put in a paragraph if something catches my eye. I'll have a Royal Rumble '02 review up soon.
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Review: Monday Night RAW and Monday Nitro from 8/4/1997.

I watched this first, because I had some stuff to do. Couldn't fit Nitro in my 100 minute period. Raw's from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. ___________________   Hat Guy sighting! The Hart Foundation comes out, with Bret's newfound Federation Gold. We see a video from SummerSlam...where Shawn Michaels hit The Undertaker with a chair on accident. Bret wants Shawn to leave the Fed because he showed favoritism against him. Now, about the Patriot last week, that was a fluke. Bret then says that Pillman will not wear a dress, before showing the clip of Owen 3:16. We then see that Sgt. Slaughter is the new commissioner, who says that Bret Hart will defend his title against The Patriot at Ground Zero. Bulldog's gonna face Shamrock soon too. And Pillman's gonna wear a dress tonight. And Owen will get a rematch against Austin...only it'll be WHEN STONE COLD SAYS SO. Austin comes out RIGHT NOW, and he says so right now. Right now! He's gonna open a can of whoopass. ___________________ The Nation talk about the triple threat between Faarooq, Savio Vega, and Crush at Ground Zero, and then we've got Ken Shamrock vs. Kama Mustafa w/NOD.   - 4 on 1. Well, until Slaughter came out and removed the Nation from ringside. So much for that. It's really a mess of a match. Two of the Boricuas come out and suplex Kama on the floor, so when Kama gets tossed in, he is given a belly-to-belly and loses to Shamrock at 3:03. DUD. Kama gives chase to Los Boricuas... ___________________   After the SummerSlam replay video (paying for a PPV replay is D-U-M-B)...we've got a Brakus vignette. LOL.   Sunny then comes out (uh, yeah. Words do not describe.) to be our ring announcer for Taka Michinoku vs. Brian Christopher.   - I've been waiting for this matchup. It was bound to come sooner or later. Lawler's commentary is either really funny, or really awful. It's all up to you. Christopher goes to the rolling suplexes, but gets rolled up by Taka at 3:27 before the third attempt. That's too bad! Christopher puts the boots to Taka afterwards, and tosses him out like a piece of trash. **. ___________________   Slaughter hands Pillman his dress, and tells Pillman that he'll wrestle in it until he wins on RAW. Some commish!   Now, we've got HHH w/Chyna vs. Vader w/Paul Bearer.   - Paul Bearer is in the back, running down Chyna before Vader makes his entrance.   - He trips HHH while HHH is running the ropes, so Chyna gives him a dropkick. Then we have a double countout at 2:13. 3/4*. Not very fun. ___________________   The Patriot is going to face The Sultan w/The Iron Sheik...   - The Patriot cut a promo about Ground Zero before the match...Sultan's gimmick fits well with the Patriot, I'd say. A Patriot full nelson slam finishes at 1:45. *. After the match, the Hart Foundation come down. BUT, Slaughter stops the rest, leaving Bret by his lonesome, oblivious to the fact that he has no backup. Patriot attacks Bret when Bret turns his back...heh. ___________________   We're in the WARZONE, and Shawn Michaels opens that up by making his way to the ring. He knows that everyone's blaming him, so now, he's going to blame everyone else for everything. Vince asks Shawn if he's in league with Bret Hart, so Shawn calls him a dumb son of a bitch. Once he did that, Vince announced Shawn vs. Taker for Ground Zero. Ha! Shawn's fine with it, because he's not going to lay down for the Deadman. The lights go out...and there's the Undertaker. Lights on, and Shawn's gone. Not a surprise. It's time to stop talking and kick ass. That's what he said. Paul Bearer shows up on the TitanTron, and damns Taker to hell. Kane's coming. YES HE IS. ___________________   Ahmed Johnson w/The Nation is supposed to face Chainz w/DOA.   - In the back, we learn that the doctors will not clear Austin to wrestle tonight. Slaughter comes down to remove the extras...but Los Boricuas come down later, to steal Chainz's bike. That distracts him enough, allowing Ahmed to give him a PEARL RIVER PLUNGE for the victory at 2:11. 1/2*. After the match, Faarooq and the rest of the Nation attacks AHMED. WHAT? Sorry, that makes no sense. He's only been with them for three or four shows. ___________________   The Godwinns vs. The Headbangers is up next...   - Damnit, I hate this matchup. Dude Love is going to face Owen Hart instead of Austin facing Owen. Henry's going to SLOP DROP Thrasher, and Phineas pins him at 3:51. *1/4. ___________________   Goldust comes out with Marlena...to watch Brian Pillman face Bob Holly.   - Of course, Pillman's wearing a dress. Pretty large "faggot" chant erupts...those weren't such politically correct times. He's wearing a thong underneath his dress, unfortunately. And when Goldust distracts Pillman, Pillman gets counted out at 2:24. *. ___________________   Owen Hart vs. Dude Love is our main event...   - Bret's out for commentary, btw. I can't ever get enough Owen...or Foley. Mick has a nasty bruise on his right arm, I should mention.   - The match isn't very good. Vince wants to know why Lawler and Bret are buddy-buddy now, but that can't be answered.   - After a commercial, we come back with, well, somewhat of a bore. Just not what I expected. Bulldog comes to the ring, so Slaughter is distracted. Bret then rams Love into the post, allowing Owen to apply the SHARPSHOOTER back in the ring. Austin walks down, grabs one of Owen's SLAMMIES, and hits Owen with it. Dude picks up the pinfall victory at 8:25. *3/4. Once the match is over, Dude gets molested in the corner. End show! ___________________   The show was bad. Too many short matches, too many not very good matches. Best segment was Taka vs. Brian Christopher (seriously), and the worst was The Nation of Domination's turn on Ahmed. I don't understand that one. ___________________   Not only is Nitro three hours long, it's also from Detroit, Michigan. ___________________   Hollywood Hogan opens the show by coming down to the ring...he honestly looks sad to be jobbing later on. Anyway, the painted on beard is gone as well. ___________________   Mortis w/James Vandenberg vs. Curt Hennig is going to open...   - Sounds good to me. It's not that bad, but it's too damn short. The HENNIG-PLEX finishes at 3:46. *3/4. ___________________   Now, after a Sting video, we've got Dean Malenko and Jeff Jarrett w/Debra facing Hector and Chavo Guerrero.   - Chavo and Dean's gear is too similar. A Malenko TEXAS CLOVERLEAF makes Hector tap out at 4:51. *1/2. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Stevie Richards and Raven...well, Stevie has a contract for Raven to sign. That shit won't fly. Raven spits on Stevie and slaps him, but Stevie catches Raven's hand before Raven can punch him. He doesn't want to be treated like this anymore. ___________________   The Giant is going to face Lenny Lane, Joey Maggs, and Scott D'Amore in a handicap match...   - Big time lolz here. The Giant CHOKESLAMS all of them, and pins all of them at 1:35. Savage and Liz come out, and the Giant gives chase before the commercial. ___________________   After a Luger video, we've got High Voltage vs. Public Enemy.   - Oh man, not this match again. I hate it. Of course it's formula, but in-offensive. I just hate both teams.   - Rocco Rock flies through a table, but when Rage accidentally hits Kaos, Public Enemy picks up the victory after a Grunge rollup at 5:12. *1/2. After the match, Kaos hits Grunge with a piece of the table that Rock flew through. ___________________   Alex Wright interrupts the Nitro Girls routine with some dancing of his own...before talking to Gene Okerlund. Only talks about his rematch against Jericho at Road Wild, before heading to the ring to face Scotty Riggs.   - Thank goodness that the American Males music was lost. No more. Wright hits a missile dropkick for the victory at 3:44. *3/4. ___________________   Hour #2...Lex Luger interview time. These interviews are sucking up the extra hour. I don't care for them, but this is a good promo.   Now, Vincent is going to face Booker T w/Stevie Ray.   - You know, Harlem Heat kicked Vincent's ass a month or so ago. That explains all this. Soon as could be, a Harlem Sidekick gives Booker the win. Only went 48 seconds. Afterwards, Harlem Heat kick his ass again. DUD. ___________________   Gene's now with DDP, who really says some bad stuff about Ric Flair because he associates with the likes of Curt Hennig. Anyone who hangs out with Curt Hennig is just as bad as Curt Hennig, in Page's eyes. ___________________   The Barbarian is going to face Wrath...   - This will suuuck. Well, actually, it don't. Wrath's DEATH PENALTY gets the victory at 2:58. Meng comes out, making Wrath leave. Throwaway. *. ___________________   Mean Gene is with the Steiners...who are accompanied by Ted DiBiase! Whoa. Ted says that he needed to look at the big picture. The New World Order isn't wrestling. He said they'd win the World Wrestling...oops. He was about to say something he shouldn't have. Anyway, the Outsiders come down the aisle and say that DiBiase didn't understand the whole NWO 4 LIFE thing. He'll soon see the error of his ways. ___________________   Psychosis is going to face Konnan right now.   - This is part of Konnan's mission to take down the luchadors. Psychosis was very sloppy, but this was short. Konnan made him tap to the TEQUILA SUNRISE at 1:48. 1/2*. This shit sucks...the matches are too goddamn short. Rey Mysterio crutches his way to the ring...but when Konnan turned his back because he thought Rey was actually hurt, Rey hit him in the back with a crutch. Ha. Playing possum. ___________________   Ernest Miller and Glacier vs. Silver King and Damien   - Finally, a decent length match. Or at least I thought it would be. A Miller spin kick off the top onto Damien gets the win at 3:25. Damn. *1/2. ___________________   Bischoff appears, with a microphone. He says that Larry Z and The Giant were totally out of line. Not only that, but he wants JJ Dillion to come out. He says that Dillon should keep the Giant from touching him. ___________________   Hour #3 begins, with Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ric Flair.   - Curt Hennig gives Flair some dap before the match, then we begin. Surprised to see this of all things given away. Hennig goes out after a DDP powerbomb to Flair, just to marinate. Then we have a commercial.   - The FIGURE-FOUR was on, but Page made it to the ropes. There was a stupid segment where DDP pinned Hennig while having the figure-four on Flair. Hennig has brass knux, but Page takes them. Then he hits both Hennig and Flair, leading to the DQ at 7:32. Page fends them all off on the attack, which is great. **1/4. FINALLY, a match with length. ___________________   Now, we've got Hector Garza and Lizmark Jr. vs. Villano IV & V.   - Boy, am I glad that I was so eagerly awaiting this. Dive sequenece of course...then the Villano's switch before getting pinned, and Villano IV cradles Lizmark at 4:52. **. ___________________   Mean Gene is with JJ Dillon...AGAIN. Goodness. They're talking about Sting, who soon enters the ring. Dillon wants him to sign a contract to face Curt Hennig. HA! Needless to say, Sting doesn't like that. He rips up the contract, and leaves. ___________________ About fuckin' time. It's Lex Luger vs. Hollywood Hogan for the WCW Championship.   - Hogan hasn't wrestled on Nitro since I GOT THIS CHANNEL. Seriously. Crowd is not the most rowdy, which is unfortunate.   - After the break, we learn that Hogan hit Luger with a chair during the break. Hogan DROPS THE LEG, but Luger kicks out. After some Luger clotheslines, Hall runs in. He gets clotheslined. Nash and Savage run in. Luger gives Savage a gutshot, and tosses him into Nash, knocking both Nash and Savage to the floor. RACK on Hogan, and we've got...A NEW WCW CHAMPION, at 8:58 (shown). **. All of WCW comes out and celebrates with Luger in the ring. Not a REALLY huge pop, but the pop was still sizeable. WCW did well here.   - Luger held the title upside down the whole time. Now, after some words from the commentary team, we go to the back. They're doing the whole champagne thing, and cleaning the NWO letters off of the title. I like that. The NWO is really pissed off, and Hogan wants his rematch in Sturgis. ___________________   Of course, Hogan will win the title back in "6 days," but the title win doesn't make a grating 140 minutes good all of a sudden. The show was bad. Best segment was the title win...worst was, well, take your pick. Lots of shit to choose from. I'll go with ALL THE INTERVIEWS. RAW was better. ___________________   Great American Bash 1992 review should be up soon. I have a long time to finish it.  
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Review: Monday Night RAW and Monday Nitro from 6/23/1997.

From Detroit, Michigan, it's MONDAY NIGHT RAWWWWW ___________________   This show is in memory of Stan Stasiak, and I'm glad to see that wasn't cut out.   The Nation of Domination make their way down to the ring, because they have an interview with Vince McMahon. Ahmed Johnson does a majority of the talking, and he sucks at it. Just shut up already. The other Nation members say some stuff, and talk about Ahmed finally getting a shot at the Undertaker. O RLY? Crush and some white boys show up, all of them riding motorcycles. You see, Crush wants to ride 'til he dies. These guys are the Disciples of Apocalypse. They must hate blacks, because now they fight with the Nation, until officials and police come down to the ring and break it up. ___________________ Preview of the show....and after a crazy LOD promo, we have Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man taking on Ken Shamrock.   - Shamrock finally has the same music for a second week in a row. Dan Severn is on commentary, FWIW.   - Vince goes to bat for the UFC, and starts talking about how officials are trying to have it shut down...needless to say, Vince would not be defending the UFC today, or even talking about it. Shamrock ANKLE LOCK gets the tapout at 2:38. 1/2*. Honky wanted to hit Shamrock with his guitar, but Shamrock turned around before that could happen. Honky just left, and now, Severn and Shamrock are staring each other down. They shake hands, and Shamrock raises Severn's hand. Lame. ___________________   The Godwinns have something to say, and they say it before their first round tag tournament match with the Legion of Doom.   - The Godwinns toss foilage at LOD before the match...it wasn't even slop, for cryin' out loud. They're out of the farmer phase as well, as evidenced by the lack of yellow shirts.   - Apparently Ken Shamrock has been attacked by the Hart Foundation...we're supposed to hear more about that, but we never do. Hawk gives Henry a flying clothesline off the top, giving LOD the pinfall victory to advance into the semi-finals, at 3:42. It was an awkward looking finish as Henry landed on Animal's back, so I'll give it *. The Hart Foundation (sans Bret, who's at the stage) comes down to the ring and attacks LOD with chairs, leaving them down and out in the middle of the ring. ___________________   Thomas Hearns is there...YEAH, boy. Probably my favorite fighter of all-time, although Shane Mosley is my favorite of the present.   Paul Bearer and the Undertaker are in the back, and the Undertaker is tired of Paul's shit. He chokes Bearer, and chokes Vader as well once Vader enters the picture. Then Taker leaves.   Owen Hart has an interview, in which he talks about a conspiracy against him. You know, it isn't fair that a Canadian has to fight two Americans in a triple threat match on US soil.   Last in this little block of junk, we have a promo for the "Cause Stone Cold Said So" video, it's rated M, because Austin is a crazy motherfucker, you see. ___________________   Flash Funk vs. Sabu w/Bill Alfonso is our next contest...   - Funk cuts a promo prior to the bout, needless to say, this could be very good. Paul E. is on commentary, and we see some footage of Sabu's ECW matches before this. Now, here's what I've gotta know. Why is Vince showing this footage? It makes the WWF look like amateur punk stuff. I sure know I wouldn't have let that run on my TV time.   - Hell of an exhibition here, which ends as both are counted out at 4:38. Sabu sets Funk up on a table outside the ring and gives him a quebrada, but it doesn't break the table. A big splash doesn't break the table as Heyman talks about non-pre cut tables in the WWF, so now, Sabu has to go back up top. A legdrop off the top finally puts Funk through the table, and Sabu leaves through the crowd, to much applause. **1/2. ___________________ Mankind vs. the British Bulldog is our next match, in a non-title affair...   - Mankind makes his way to the ring wearing an Austin 3:16 shirt, and a sign around his neck that reads "PICK ME STEVE." Haha. You know, he wants to be Steve Austin's tag team partner. Mankind grabs a microphone next, and he says that he's dedicating this match to the absent Steve Austin, because Austin is the toughest SOB in the World Wrestling Federation.   - Yes, Mankind wrestles with the sign around his neck on. Austin's on the phone, and says he'll be back on Saturday. Not only that, but he gives Mankind some credit for wearing that shirt. After 4:10, Bulldog hits Mankind in the back with a chair. Then in the face, unprotected. Mankind gets up after a bit, and gives Bulldog the MANDIBLE CLAW, as Bulldog was focused on his posing. Ha. *1/2. ___________________   Now, we have the first triple threat match in the history of the WWE, AFAIK. It's Goldust w/Marlena vs. HHH w/Chyna vs. Owen Hart w/Brian Pillman.   - Before the match, there was some controversy surrounding Brian Pillman being allowed to come to ringside with Owen. Gorilla Monsoon said yes, and that's all that matters. We're in the Warzone, and the special guest referee for this match is the first Intercontinental Champion, Pat Patterson.   - Goldust has another false title victory, this one coming after a CURTAIN CALL at 3:15. Owen's foot was on the ropes, just like the British Bulldog's was on 6/9/97. This part was *1/4, and a bit funny, seeing as this is a new concept for the Fed. After the commercial and much banter, this match restarts.   - The 2nd version of the match is better, IMO. Chyna gives Goldust a hurricanrana, in our notable interference of the contest. Goldust inadvertently gives HHH an elbowdrop from the top, and that allows Owen to pin HHH for the three count at 3:45. ** for that portion, add them, round and add personal bias, we get *3/4. ___________________   Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart now make their way to the ring, and see, Bret and Anvil are the best tag team of all time, not LOD. Bret starts calling Thomas Hearns a thief, subsequently pissing him off. Bret tells Tommy to bring his ass into the ring, and Tommy does, knocking down the Anvil after entering. Officials separate Tommy and Bret, so that's over. The crowd loved it, Hearns being from Detroit and this being Detroit. ___________________   Before the next match, Savio Vega comes into the Nation's lockerroom while they're cutting a promo, so Faarooq whips him with a belt, like an angry parent would do to their child. That next match is Scott Taylor vs. Brian Christopher w/Jerry Lawler.   - Christopher cuts a promo about the Light Heavyweight Division, so yeah, that's coming soon. Lawler insinuates that Christopher is not his son, and after a short affair, the bout ends with a Christopher legdrop off the top for 3 at 2:54. *3/4. ___________________   Paul Bearer and Vader are in the back, and they say that the situation between them and the Undertaker has been straightened out. We'll see for ourselves, as Vader and the Undertaker w/Paul Bearer are taking on Faarooq and D'Lo Brown w/Kama Mustafa in the final matchup of the first round of the tag team tournament.   - Ahmed Johnson was injured during the brawl earlier, so he's not going to participate in this match. Thank fuck he didn't come back until SummerSlam, because I shudder to think what would've happened had he stuck around. Maybe no Rock? The Disciples of the Apocalypse come to ringside early, and they brawl with everyone but Vader, who just stands in the ring doing nothing. To a commercial...   - Back from the break, Bearer and Taker are having a war of words as Vader's going at it alone. Vader goes to tag in Taker, but Taker punches him, and Faarooq pins Vader at 5:03 (shown). Wow, he jobbed to a PUNCH. 3/4*. Taker and Vader fight, Taker gives Vader a TOMBSTONE, and chases Bearer out of the ring. Bearer grabs a microphone, and next week, he'll reveal the secret, which is basically what everyone in the crowd and the viewers watching at home have wanted Bearer to do for weeks. End show. ___________________ Show was in some ways bad, but at best, decent. Best segment had to be THOMAS FUCKIN' HEARNS getting in the ring and the worst was probably LOD vs. the Godwinns. I can't stand when those two teams face each other. ___________________   MONDAY NITRO is from MACON, GEORGIA!!!! ___________________   We flashback to last week, and to start the show, Mean Gene is with Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly. His partner at Bash at the Beach is going to be a complete surprise, Page says, and not only that, but he's facing Scott Hall tonight. ___________________ Public Enemy vs. Damien and La Parka is our first match...   - The Public Enemy thing is so lame. I hate it, at the moment. There isn't a whole lot to say besides the result, other than the usual table demolition Public Enemy does.   - La Parka hits Johnny Grunge with a chair, and gets the pinfall at 2:55. Yawn. *. ___________________   Eddy Guerrero is in the aisleway for an interview with Mean Gene, and he says that when he didn't wrestle last week, it was because he wasn't cleared to wrestle. He wants Chavo Guerrero to come out, but Chavo says that he didn't exactly offer to wrestle Dean Malenko, Eddy told him to. Eddy has a shot at Syxx's Cruiserweight Title later on, and he says that he'll give that title shot to Chavo to show that he's sorry for ordering him around. Of course, Chavo takes the opportunity. ___________________ Alex Wright vs. Chris Jericho is some return match from that Nitro in Boston that WWE 24/7 skipped...   - You see, Alex Wright's new attitude is because he hates America. That explains everything.   - This is fairly good, although the crowd doesn't give a shit. They only make noise when Wright dances. After Jericho makes him tap to the LIONTAMER at 4:41, Wright isn't dancing. **. ___________________   We flash to the Great American Bash, when Vincent interfered in Harlem Heat's business. Obviously, that means we're going to see Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri take on the Steiner Brothers.   - This match is for the #1 contenders spot, in case you didn't notice. Scott has this goatee going, and it looks ugly. There's some hype for the house show at the Great Western Forum, which is being called The Show that Eric Bischoff Doesn't Want You to See. I suppose that's a good name.   - Good match, by Nitro standards. Rick Steiner bulldogs Booker T from the top, and pins him at 8:12 to win the #1 contendership. I think that's what you'd call it. **3/4.   Gene Okerlund is now with Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell, who call themselves "Vicious and Delicious." What a terrible name. They also want a title shot, and they leave, as the Steiners make their way up the ramp. The Steiners want Hall and Nash for the belts next week in Vegas, and that's all there is to it. ___________________ Hector Garza vs. Villano IV is the pissbreak match...   - Seriously. Tons of empty seats, and the match certainly isn't good enough to bring people back to those seats any quicker. Garza finishes the bout with a standing moonsault at 4:47. 1/2*. ___________________   Mean Gene invites Lex Luger and the Giant to the ring, obviously for interview time. Luger's wearing this Farmer John type shirt, I only mentioned it because it made me laugh. At Bash at the Beach, Luger's going to get revenge on Hogan for last week in Chicago. The Giant's going to put a hook in the Worm, AHHHHH! ___________________   Hour #2 begins, and the match to start that off is Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Syxx w/Scott Hall for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship.   - Scott Hall's expressions are hilarious. He's outside the ring, going through all of them, and I'm laughing at it. Eddy Guerrero's standing in the entranceway, because he's watching Chavo's back. Chavo gets in quite a bit of offense, but Scott Hall comes into the ring with the referee distracted and gives Chavo the OUTSIDER'S EDGE. Eddy does nothing, so really, he was just watching Chavo, not his back. The BUZZKILLER gets the submission and Syxx retains his belt at 6:01. **1/4 for another solid affair. ___________________   Konnan is taking on Mongo McMichael w/Debra, now.   - Jeff Jarrett is on "Horsemen Probation." Now I've heard everything. Hugh Morrus comes to the ring with a kendo stick, but he isn't allowed into the ring. BUT, that distracts Konnan, and Mongo gives him a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, giving Mongo the pinfall victory at 3:14. 1/2*. ___________________   We're ON THE ROAD in Vegas, yadayada. Those fake slot reel sounds in the background are all too typical.   Roddy Piper comes down the aisle to talk to Gene Okerlund, and Piper says that he's still not happy about Slamboree. Apparently, that pissed Ric Flair off, so here he is. Flair says that what happened at Slamboree was in their best interests, and that Piper shouldn't be questioning him. That brings Mongo and CHRIS BENOIT to the ring. Uh-oh. Both having something to say (although Benoit's spiel is edited out), and then, Piper attacks Mongo and Benoit. Now they all fight, including Ric Flair trying to beat up Piper. He can't, but the briefcase to the back fixes all that, and Benoit gives Piper the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE. Officials come to ringside to break things up, and we go to a commercial. ___________________ We're back, and it's Glacier & Ernest Miller taking on High Voltage.   - The arena lights always stay dimmed during Glacier's matches...I have no idea why I just now noticed that, or noticed it at all. Mortis and Wrath are nearby, of course.   - Miller gives Rage a flying kick off the top for the win at 2:15. Mortis and Wrath now come to ringside, but they don't attack. *.   Now we have a Hollywood Hogan and Dennis Rodman video package, for some unexplained reason. ___________________   Finally, the main event is here. Diamond Dallas Page w/Kimberly is taking on Scott Hall w/Randy Savage and Elizabeth.   - Needless to say, this one is not going to end clean. Kimberly left early, because she didn't want to be around Savage. Makes sense. What doesn't make sense is that this feud will continue in some fashion until OCTOBER.   - Savage comes in at 5:28, getting Hall DQ'd. No surprise. *1/2. Hall gives DDP a back suplex from the top and when Savage goes up for the FLYING ELBOW...   IT'S STING!   He's in the crowd, oh no! Savage drops the elbow on Page anyway, bringing Sting down to the ring. Savage and Hall plot on the outside about how they'll take this on, and they run into the ring, only to be clobbered by Sting's bat, ending the show. ___________________   Show was good. Best segment was the end of the show, and the worst was Glacier and Miller's tag match. Nitro was better this time. ___________________   Next up is a tripleheader of epic proportions. Just house shows.
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Review: Macho Man Randy Savage & Elizabeth Coliseum Video.

I'll preface this by saying that I got the dates for the matches on this from thehistoryofthewwe.com. Without it, writing these would be harder. As a big Savage fan, watching this is...well, gold. ___________________   In the opening of the program, Gene Okerlund says that Randy Savage doesn't deserve Elizabeth. Somehow, that brings us to... ___________________   Well, Hulk Hogan's about to face a guy named Rusty Brooks, on Championship Wrestling from 10/22/85. For some reason, Randy Savage and Elizabeth are at ringside. Elizabeth gets in the ring, and asks why Hogan doesn't wrestle anyone with credentials. OUCH. Brooks attacks Hulk, but he HULKS UP BROTHER, clothesline, bodyslam, DROP THE FUCKING LEG for the three count at 37 seconds. 1/2*. After the bout, Savage attacks Hogan, only to be thwarted and tossed out of the ring. The crowd was nuts and the angle was great, so all in all, good addition to the "tape." ___________________   Hogan vs. Savage from MSG on 1/27/86 is joined in progress...remember, I don't review JIP's, but if clipped and I don't notice, then it's ok. Macho's wearing the crimson mask, and after ramming Hogan into the ringpost, he wins via countout. ___________________   Now we get a full match, that being Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan in a Lumberjack Match for the WWF Title, from 2/17/86 at MSG. The lumberjacks are...George Steele, the Hart Foundation, King Kong Bundy, Dan Spivey, Don Muraco, Barry O, Les Thornton, Ricky Steamboat, Tony Atlas, Lanny Poffo, Nikolai Volkoff, the Iron Sheik, and Corporal Kirchner.   Well, this sounds good. Savage attacks Hogan at the beginning of the match, but Hulk comes back with a few rights and a clothesline. Hogan's ribs are taped, as we notice when he rips off his shirt, and he hits Savage a few times with his title belt. Hogan gives Savage a back suplex, and tosses him to the outside. The lumberjacks do not do their job, giving Savage time to collect his thoughts. It seemed not to have worked, though, because Savage came in and was tossed around. Hogan rammed him into the ringpost during a bearhug, and hit him with a running elbow to the head. Savage was then given an atomic drop, but Hogan's momentum was stopped after King Kong Bundy distracted him by pulling his leg. Hogan hit Bundy, but Savage capitalized with a knee to the back and a double axhandle from the top rope, which gets a 3 count. Savage tosses Hogan out, and all the heel lumberjacks beat on Hogan, with Muraco and Bundy doing most of the work. Savage tosses Hogan out when he gets back in the ring, and the same thing happens again. Savage goes up top and gives Hogan another double axhandle from the top rope for a 2 count, and a clothesline for a 2 count. Savage pulls the tape off Hogan's ribs, and comes off the top rope with another double axhandle to the ribs for 2. Savage then gives Hogan a kneedrop for 2, and an elbowdrop for 2. Savage chokes Hogan along one of the ropes, and gives him another axhandle for 2. Ok, it's starting to get repetitive. Savage goes up to the top, AND DROPS THE ELBOW. It gets 2, cause it's time to HULK UP BROTHER. 3 punches, big boot, but Savage rakes Hogan's eyes. They begin to CRISS-CROSS, but George Steele trips up Savage, so Hogan DROPS THE FUCKING LEG for 3 at 7:37. ***. Nice finish. ___________________   From Tuesday Night Titans, we have the segment where George Steele sends Elizabeth flowers with turnbuckle stuffing inside the box. My favorite part of that segment was when Savage told the delivery guy, "I'll TAKE YOU OUT, BOY!" It's impossible not to laugh at that. ___________________   There's a match from the 4th Saturday Night's Main Event which pits George Steele and Randy Savage against each other, but I'm not going to review it. My policy dictates that I can't, no matter how bad it may be. When they post that event in full, I will. ___________________   Mean Gene is at Macho's house now, interviewing these two people who wanted to meet Savage before their honeymoon(?). Savage pulled up in a limo, so Liz gives Gene a tour of the pool area. Savage is working out, but he stops when Gene approaches him. So they talk. Gene asked Savage about the Intercontinental Title, but Savage says that he only NEEDS the World Title, and his career will be over. Macho Madness is more seductive than sex, YEAH. These two groups offered Savage a ton of money to do things for them, but he said no thanks. The new wife (that was out front) jumped in the pool, but Savage wanted her OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW, YEAHHHHHHHHHH! ___________________   Next was a JIP version of Savage's Intercontinental Title win over Tito Santana at the Boston Garden from 2/8/86, which not only got Savage the title belt, but helped to further the Danny Davis angle later on. Do I need to cover that, or does everyone know what that is? Anyway, Savage won after hitting Tito with a foreign object. It was great. ___________________   We're now at Jesse Ventura's Body Shop, with Savage as the guest. As the new Intercontinental Champion, Savage said he'd let Elizabeth hold the belt. NOT SO FAST. He changed his mind. ___________________   Tito Santana had his rematch against Randy Savage on 3/16/86 at Madison Square Garden, but it's joined in progress. We got to see quite a bit of the action, and when Tito applied a figure-four leglock, Savage pulled the referee down to the canvas, getting himself disqualified. Cool. ___________________   There's another match between Santana and Savage (from 4/22/86) that's joined in progress, and it's also a NO DQ match. Savage bled like a champ, and when in the figure four, he slugged the referee in the head, so he wouldn't be counted down. Hey, there's no DQ. Tito rolled up Savage, but Savage reversed and held the tights to retain his title. ___________________   In what is seemingly Tito Santana's last attempt, he'll face Randy Savage at MSG on 5/18/86 for the Intercontinental Title, and Bruno Sammartino is the special guest referee.   This was shown in full, thankfully. Tito starts things off with a wristlock, and he knocks Savage out of the ring. Seeing as that just occured, Savage is a little hesitant to engage with Santana. They lock up, and Savage armdrags Santana, before doing his little "wave my finger around in circles" taunt. Tito replies with an armdrag, but Savage takes him to the ropes with a headlock. Bruno breaks the hold, which causes Savage to argue with him. Tito sneaks up from behind and rolls Savage up for 2, which only makes Savage angrier. Savage chokes Tito at the ropes, and comes off the top with an axhandle. Savage knees Tito in the back, and takes him down to the canvas for a 2 count. Savage goes to the chinlock, but Tito elbows his way out, only to be thrown over the top rope and to the floor. BOMBS AWAY from Savage, and he throws Tito back in. Savage slams Tito, and gives him a kneedrop for 2. Tito headbutts Savage in response, and both collide in the center of the ring as Savage was running the ropes. Savage goes to the top, but Tito hits him on his way down, and knees Savage, knocking him out of the ring. Tito brings Savage back in, and rams his face into the mat a few times. Tito backdrops him, and goes for the FIGURE-FOUR, but Savage reaches the ropes. Tito charges at Savage in the corner, but eats Savage's knees for a 2 count. Tito gives Savage a small package for two, and a clothesline. He goes for the FIGURE-FOUR again, but Savage pokes him in the eye. Savage gives Tito a gutwrench suplex for two, and goes for an atomic drop, which was reversed and turned into a FIGURE-FOUR. Some woman comes out of the crowd and attacks Tito, rest assured, that's Adrian Adonis, which gets Savage disqualified at 10:00. Savage attacks Bruno. Bruno takes a pounding, until Tito comes back in and stops the attack with a chair. ***1/2. Adonis' entry was a pretty good surprise, for me, anyway. Great match. So far, everything on this video has been worth watching. ___________________   This brings us to Adrian Adonis and Randy Savage w/Jimmy Hart vs. Tito Santana and Bruno Sammartino at MSG on 6/14/86, but first, Gorilla Monsoon interviews Savage and Adonis. Good interview.   The heels attack at the beginning of the match, but Santana and Bruno clean them out and toss both over the top. The crowd is off the charts throughout the match, to touch on that. They brawl on the outside, until about 2:45, when they decide that they want the match to start. Bruno attacks Savage when Savage goes to the top, and he tosses Savage into Adonis. Bruno knees Savage for 2, and Tito tags in. Tito clotheslines Savage, and rams his face into the mat. Tito rams Savage into Bruno's boot, and then to the buckle. Bruno tags in, along with Adonis. Bruno armdrags him, and both babyfaces beat on Adonis Tito gives Adonis a crossbody for 2, and applies a headlock to Adonis. Adonis gives Santana a backsuplex, and both Bruno and Savage tag back in. Bruno gives Savage a big boot, and begins to work on Savage, but Adonis pulls Savage out of the ring to save him. Savage comes back in and begs, but Bruno stomps on him, knocking him out of the ring. Tito hits Savage with a chair, but Bruno's cover only gets a 2 count. Extremely fast paced, this is. Adonis tags in, as does Santana, and Adonis is able to gain control. He slams Tito, but misses a big splash off the top rope. Savage runs to the top rope, and gives Tito an axhandle so that he can't make the tag. Adonis slams Santana again, but he misses an elbowdrop. Savage and Bruno tag in, to begin the pier-six. Tito grabs Jimmy Hart, and Adonis hits him from behind, on the outside. Savage goes to the top, and it's BOMBS AWAY time for Bruno on the outside. And that gets Bruno and Tito counted out at around 9:42. ***3/4. Awesome stuff, to say the least.   Good end to the video... ___________________   Rating: Excellent. Everything on this was must-see stuff.   Best Segment: Savage and Adonis vs. Bruno and Tito. Yeah.   Worst Segment: Uh, Savage vs. Steele from SNME, but while the actual match wasn't great, the excess stuff certainly was. It was a good segment, but everything else was better. That's how good this video was. ___________________   I'll have a few star ratings for some ladder matches up on Tuesday, and RAW as well.
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Review: House Shows Posted on WWE 24/7 in March 2008.

First on this house show run, is 3/16/86 from Madison Square Garden. ___________________   Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are on commentary, thankfully. Lord Alfred Hayes doing this wouldn't have been best. The first contest is Sivi Afi vs. Moondog Spot.   - Afi wearing Snuka type trunks makes this a little confusing. Too confusing for me, anyway. Crossbody off the top gives Afi the pinfall victory at 7:07. **. ___________________   Hercules Hernandez w/Freddie Blassie is now facing George Wells.   - Wells is a bland personality, but he can wrestle. And that's good enough for me.   - Hercules has this Brody thing going on with his hair, me no like. Anyway, after a missed Wells charge to the corner, Hercules covers him for 3, at 4:15. Something about that ending just didn't feel right. 1/2*. ___________________   The next match is a special ladies tag match featuring wrestlers from Japan, those two being Dump Matsumoto and Bull Nakano, who are taking on Linda Gonzales and Velvet McIntyre.   - Nakano looks much smaller than she did during her run in the WWF in 1995. Much. Can't say that her partner's small, I'm afraid.   - Ventura and Monsoon are much more cordial than they usually are, which is a strange thing to hear. At least for me, it is. The referee is terrible. I don't know how to explain what he's doing wrong, but you know, when teams make those false tags that the referee doesn't see? Well, he's looking right at them, every time.   - Dump gives Gonzales an airplane spin and a big splash, getting the pinfall victory at 10:02. *1/2. Too weird. ___________________   Pedro Morales vs. Cowboy Bob Orton is up next...   - Orton is really good, you know. Pedro, not so much, IMO. There's table usage which is definitely for the best, but nobody actually goes through them. Orton lifts Pedro up for a suplex, and crotches him along the top rope instead, which somehow gets a disqualification at 9:20. Since when is that a DQ? Anyway, both men fight after the match, and Pedro gets the best. More ** stuff. ___________________   Magnificent Muraco w/Mr. Fuji vs. King Tonga is on, now.   - It's kinda weird to see Muraco facing Haku. I don't really know why, it just is.   - Tonga wanted to give Muraco a handshake, but Muraco spit at him. Oh, gee. Jesse Ventura wonders how Adrian Adonis would "get over" where Uncle Elmer comes from. Hopefully I'm not the only one who found him saying that a bit odd. Muraco hits Tonga with Fuji's cane for the victory at 8:09, after a less than remarkable affair. *3/4. ___________________   There's another ladies tag, this time featuring Lioness Asuka and Chigusa Nagoya, who are facing Penny Mitchell and Leilani Kai.   - These two ladies from Japan really don't look like ladies. They look like little boys. This match is kinda boring, although to be fair, I don't even remember why. That's just what I had on my paper. Asuka gives Mitchell a crossbody for 3 at 7:05. **. ___________________   The next match is Hillbilly Jim vs. King Kong Bundy w/Bobby Heenan.   - Oh no. It was bad enough at WrestleMania III when they tagged up with a few midgets, but this? Honestly, I hardly even paid attention. AVALANCHE and BIG SPLASH give Bundy the pinfall victory at 6:14. 1/4*. ___________________   Mr. Fuji vs. Ricky Steamboat...   - I have no idea what this one's about. It's always nice to watch a favorite, in this case of course, being Steamboat. When Fuji's wearing his suit, you couldn't tell that he weighed as much as he did.   - Fuji's selling is comical. An audible "oh shit" slips out when Steamboat applies an armbar....   - There's a criss-cross, Fuji stops, Steamboat crossbody, pinfall at 6:10. *. ___________________   Making his Madison Square Garden debut, it's JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS, who's taking on Lanny Poffo.   - Another favorite. Yeah, boy. While not the best of wrestlers, Jake is another favorite too. When he was talking about titles on his DVD, and how he was so over that he didn't really need a title or something like that, I disagree. Obviously he never would've held a title because of his drug problems, but holding a title would've pushed him to the next stratosphere, that being main event contention. His lack of wrestling skill is un-important. The guy could talk, and if you could talk, well....   - Lanny botches a plancha attempt, and wow, he could've killed himself. He took a header for sure. DDT finishes things up, giving Jake the pinfall at 6:47. Damien comes out and molests Poffo, as Poffo looks like he's ready to bail out of the ring at a moment's notice. *1/4 for the match, which was less than spectacular. ___________________   Gorilla Monsoon is with Randy Savage, the Intercontinental Champion. He has words for this beaner named Tito Santana. Yes, he really called Tito a beaner.   Obviously, Tito Santana and Randy Savage are going to have a match for the Intercontinental Title. Obviously.   Blow-by-blow: I love Savage. You already know that. Tito chases Savage out of the ring, and when Savage tries to make his re-entrance, Tito does the same one more time. Tito catches up to Savage, and tosses him into the guardrail, thankfully. I hate when those chase segments end up with the babyface foolishly chasing the heel in the ring, only to be beaten down. It's stupid. Tito brings Savage back in, and quickly atomic drops him, sending him over the top rope. Back in for a 10 punch, until Macho rakes the eyes. Inverted atomic drop from Savage follows, and a running elbow does too, for a 2 count. Tito gives Savage a kneebreaker, but on the FIGURE-FOUR attempt, Macho tosses Tito out. Savage goes to the top and down to the floor with BOMBS AWAY, then rams Tito into the guardrail. Savage gives Tito a clothesline for 2, and after a scoop slam, Savage goes up top. FLYING ELBOW misses though, and Tito gives Savage a kneelift. A backdrop follows, and so does a FIGURE-FOUR attempt, but Savage rakes the eyes to prevent that. Savage bails out and feigns injury, which suckers Tito in closer, only to be rammed into the guardrail. In and Tito gives Savage the FLYING JALAPENO, but no cover. That isn't his special move. The FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK is, and when going for that, Savage pulls the official into Tito so that he'll be DQ'd, at 9:29. Match Analysis: I reviewed this because the clipped version was on the Savage and Liz Coliseum Video, so, yeah, that explains everything. These two had better, though. ***1/4. ___________________   Gorilla Monsoon is with the Haiti Kid, seeing as he has a match next. He's not happy that Roddy Piper cut his hair, not at all. All because he's a friend of Mr. T.   Howard Finkel runs down the entire lineup for WrestleMania 2...yes, this is long. And I watched all of it. ___________________   Haiti Kid vs. Dana Carpenter is next...I absolutely do not review midget matches. I don't watch them, either. ___________________   The Dream Team (WWF Tag Champs) and Johnny V are taking on The British Bulldogs and Captain Lou Albano, in the last match on the card.   - Weird, isn't it. Half this match is good. The other...not so much. Figure out which is which. This referee has been in other matches (the one who sees the un-intended tags)...he's probably the worst I've seen.   - Brawl, Dynamite rolls up Beefcake (who wasn't legal) for the victory at 13:11. **1/4. ___________________   That finishes the show. Good show, best was the IC Title Match, and the worst was Jim vs. Bundy. Now, to HOUSTON, for the show that took place on my birthday, 12/10/1987. It's kinda weird to be watching a show that took place on the exact day that I was born. ___________________   Sam Houston vs. Dusty Wolfe is the first matchup.   - What is this entrance. Houston has terrible music, and a terrible dance. Geez. After checking, the dub is better than the original. Bruce Pritchard, Mike McGuirk and Pete Doherty are on commentary. The less said about those three, the better.   - Houston's wearing a speedo...who the fuck knows why. Big mistake in the corner (by that I mean bungled finish), but Houston gives Wolfe a bulldog anyway for the victory at 8:38. I don't like Houston, and yes, this sucked. *. ___________________   Our next contest is Hercules vs. the Junkyard Dog.   - JYD is done, physically. So this should suck too. Of course wrestling is fake, but these two take it to the point where my dad starts laughing at how bad it looks. MY DAD.   - This is so rotten, I'll just save words and bring us to the end. Hercules pins JYD with his feet on the ropes after a punch for the win at 8:15. Ew. DUD. ___________________ Brady Boone and Billy Jack Haynes are taking on Demolition w/Mr. Fuji.   - Boone is a sub for Ken Patera. Thank goodness. Really glad to see Demolition here. This match has no problem holding my interest, obviously. Not a whole lot to say, though. Smash hotshots Boone for the victory at 10:32. **. ___________________   Rick Rude vs. Paul Orndorff is on, now.   - Funny how some of the men in the crowd take pictures of Rude when Rude does his whole robe routine. Bunch of homos.   - This match was better than you'd figure, until Rude went to the NERVEHOLD. I'm talking ***1/2 type good. Anyway, the match slowed down too much, and Rude pinned Orndorff while using the ropes as leverage at 9:00. **1/2 for a good match. ___________________ Next up is Brutus Beefcake vs. the ONE MAN GANG w/Slick.   - No, not Brutus. Please no. The commentary is so damn funny. Bad, but funny. To be completely honest, this match is just a whole bunch of punching. The fans like it, but I do not. Slick distracts Beefcake, Gang gives him a big elbowdrop, and pins Beefcake at 9:19. 1/4* for what I thought was a pile of junk. After the match, Gang tries to cut Beefcake's hair. He can't, though. ___________________   The Hart Foundation vs. Strike Force is our WWF Tag Team Title match.   - Doesn't this sound like a match that would be on Coliseum Video? Does to me. You know, the Foundation lost the titles to these two, explaining this match much better than I can. Match was unformula for a while, then we revert to formula, which is great anyway.   - Martel tags in, and you know how you can tell when the workers hold the crowd in the palm of their hands? This is one of those times. During the BOSTON CRAB, Neidhart clocks Martel with one of the tag belts for the DQ, at 16:20. Aw, man. ***1/2. One of those matches you need to watch, although without 24/7, you'd never be able to watch it. There's a few of those. ___________________ The ULTIMATE WARRIOR is facing Iron Mike Sharpe in a singles bout...   - Yeah, larfs all around for this one. Warrior's facepaint was coming off after 30 seconds. You see, those are the things I notice. And when writing one of these short things, I want to write about things like that.   - 5:31 is just too long a match for these two. Gorilla press gives Warrior the victory. 1/2*. ___________________   Ron Bass takes on Ricky Steamboat...interesting.   - Unfortunately, the match really isn't that interesting. Or entertaining. Steamboat wins after a crossbody at 9:35. *1/2, my favorite rating. ___________________   I don't really know why this match is here, but Greg Valentine is facing Ken Johnson.   - Like I said, this is weird. For some reason, Valentine looks funny. Maybe it's his tan. It's a squash, obviously. Valentine's FIGURE-FOUR gets the submission at 3:03. ___________________   The last match on the card is a good one, that being Ted DiBiase w/Virgil and Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan for the World Wrestling Federation Championship.   - DiBiase is billed as being from Bel Air, California. Good decision. This is a great matchup for any show, much less a house show. Hogan really wants to fight Andre, but Andre doesn't want to get in the ring. But he DOES get involved, by tripping Hogan. Ooooo.   - The match gets stopped, because Andre has to leave. After the announcement, the match restarts. HULKIN' UP TIME BROTHER, but after the big boot, Virgil gets on the apron. DiBiase hits Virgil on accident, and Hogan rolls up DiBiase for the victory at 9:30 That was a somewhat unformula Hogan finish. **1/2. Hogan poses to end the show, as you'd figure. ___________________ Show was good by my standards, especially for a regular house show. Best match was definitely the Hart Foundation vs. Strike Force, and the worst was Hercules vs. JYD. ___________________   I'm not going to review the MSG show from 1977. For one, when I watch shows that old, my attention span is such that I can't watch all of it at once. Second, I don't think many of you care about that anyway, and for this one in particular, nothing sticks out as a WOW, I MUST WATCH THIS type thing. ___________________   I'll post an Armaggedon review around this time next week, I bet. My dad's sisters are coming for a few days, and I have to keep up two facades. One, that I don't like wrestling. Two, that I'm not on the computer as much as I really am. I haven't seen one of my dad's sisters in shit, at least 15 years. So I've got a lot of talking to do.
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Review: House Shows Posted on WWE 24/7 in April 2008.

First up, we have the WWF from Los Angeles, CA; a house show that took place on 8/13/1988. ___________________   Gorilla Monsoon and Superstar Billy Graham are on commentary, FWIW. Anyway, the first match is Sam Houston vs. Black Jack.   - I don't know who Black Jack is, and there are so many people that share a variation of the name that it's quite hard to search. Yeah, Jack is wearing a mask, if you couldn't tell from my comments.   - Houston bulldog, pinfall victory at 5:48. Finish came out of nowhere, but in this case, that's good. The less Sam Houston, the better. *. ___________________ Next up is Barry Horowitz vs. The Blue Angel.   - Guess who the Blue Angel is. Well, I'll just tell you, it's Owen Hart. Obviously, Owen is awesome. That word also describes this match.   - An Owen moonsault finishes the match after 14:35 of great, fast-paced action. ***1/2, and a bout that should definitely have been shown on television at some point. Or on Coliseum Video. ___________________   The Bolsheviks vs. The Powers of Pain is our third match...   - Good, the Bolsheviks sung the Soviet National Anthem. Very good. When the Powers ran in to prevent that, they got a huge pop. They're pretty over.   - Superstar is such a bad commentator, but at least the Powers won, after a flying headbutt off the top from Barbarian onto Zhukov at 9:02. *1/2, could've been so much worse, but thankfully for my sake, it wasn't. ___________________   Curt Hennig vs. SD Jones is up, and hey, Jesse Ventura has joined the team for commentary. That's swell!   - Hennig isn't perfect, yet. This match shows that fact quite well. Match is far, far too long, and Hennig wins with a clothesline at 13:05. *, at best. Only because I like Hennig. ___________________   Andre the Giant w/Bobby Heenan vs. Randy Savage w/Elizabeth for the WWF Championship is our semi-main event.   - Bobby was forced out of the ring area by police and security...good. This one is very much like their Saturday Night Main Event match that I reviewed, save for one thing. There's a bit more offense from Savage, but that's it. I nearly forgot to mention that Jesse Ventura is now off commentary...yeah.   - Savage's FLYING ELBOW doesn't get the win, and after a bit of fighting, Andre grabs Elizabeth by the ankle, leading to a double countout at 10:24. 1/2*. Andre has the belt, but it isn't his. He really shouldn't be in the ring at this point, but hey, that's not my decision. ___________________   Obviously it's intermission time, as we see a pre-taped interview with Ravishing Rick Rude. Gorilla better watch it, you see.   Now Gorilla's with the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, who are soon to announce their place of residence, which is of course, in the good ol' USA! ___________________ I suppose it's a good thing that we have the Fabulous Rougeau's taking on the Hart Foundation.   - Of course it is! Well, it isn't that great, but it's still good. Kinda mailed in, though. After Bret gives Jacques a piledriver, Raymond jumps onto Bret from the 2nd rope, allowing Jacques to regain his composure and pick up the pinfall victory at 17:41. **3/4, but it was definitely nothing special. ___________________   Randy Savage makes his way to the ring, because he's got a message for Andre the Giant. He's signed an open contract, anytime, anywhere. He's gonna kick his ASS! Direct quote on that last one. ___________________   The main event on this show is Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts.   - The reason Bobby Heenan isn't there is quite simple. He was kicked out of the building. Jake's gonna kick Rude's ass too, or so he says. I love the PG-13 vibe being given off here...the WWF could've used a few "ass kickings" here and there.   - Very slow, just like most of these matches. I approve of the wrestlers trying to go easy on their bodies. Anyway, Rude tries to slam Jake into the ring, and Jake grabs the top rope for leverage, allowing Jake to win by pinfall at 13:27. **, end of the show. ___________________ Rating: Ah, good. Good for a house show, which is good enough for me. Best segment was definitely Horowitz vs. Owen, and the worst was Andre/Savage. That match was just too long. ___________________   Now, from Madison Square Garden on October 20th, 1986...Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary. ___________________   Brutus Beefcake vs. B. Brian Blair is the first matchup.   - Was this match determined via alphabetizing the roster? It's not that bad, but like most matches involving Beefcake, he just doesn't do anything. At 10:17, he reverses a Blair crossbody, into a pinfall of his own for the victory. *3/4. ___________________   Moondog Rex vs. Tama is next up...   - I thought now would be a good time to mention that every match is a singles match, featuring participants in the battle royal which will take place later on. I didn't know the Islanders were babyfaces...   - I love that spot where a guy's tied up, other guy charges at him, guy unties himself, and other guy flies through the rope. Thought I'd point that out. Anyway, a Tama crossbody off the top gives him the win at 8:17. ** for a decent affair. ___________________   Next, we have King Kong Bundy taking on Super Machine.   - Definitely hoss-tastic, but Bundy wins after the AVALANCHE at 3:18. Short, sweet, and to the point. *1/2. ___________________   Jim Neidhart vs. Dynamite Kid w/Matilda is now...   - Matilda = the bulldog. Simple, yes?   - Dynamite's so good, it's really a shame that he wrecked his body. But he wins the match, after a roll-up at 5:50. **1/2. Match was very fun. ___________________   Koko B. Ware comes out to show everyone his bird...ha. Now the Iron Sheik is facing Jacques Rougeau.   - Of all the matchups on the show, this one is definitely the strangest. The match sucks, though. Jacques wins by pinfall thanks to a sunset flip, at 7:30. *. ___________________   Time for Piper's Pit...even though he's being cheered, he says he's still a no good sonofabitch. Adrian Adonis is a fag, you see. Now he wants Bobby Heenan and Paul Orndorff to come out. Heenan does, and they talk about the World Series. Piper likes the Mets, Heenan doesn't. Now Paul Orndorff enters, to Hulk Hogan's music. Much heat for that. Piper says that Orndorff definitely couldn't find a tag team partner for a match, and after a few minutes, he's thought of one. It's Harley Race! Roddy Piper calls Vladimir (you know, the fan who always wears a Piper shirt) onto the ring apron, and his idea of a partner for Piper is...Hulk Hogan! So yeah, that's the main event for next month, Orndorff and Race vs. Piper and Hogan. ___________________   Jim Brunzell vs. Mike Rotundo is, uh, right now!   - I thought Rotundo was gone by this point, but apparently I was wrong. This match is super, super slow. They're doing a bunch of amateur wrestling, but the crowd doesn't care, and neither do I. Double countout is the end, at 9:10. *. ___________________ Greg Valentine vs. Davey Boy Smith w/Matilda is definitely the best matchup thus far...   - This should be good. Valentine's legwork is unique, at least compared to what I see now in the WWE.   - Davey does a SHARPSHOOTER, but Valentine pins him after using the top rope for leverage at 13:00. **3/4. ___________________   Moondog Spot vs. SD Jones is a definite fast-forward. I don't even care enough to look and see who won. ___________________   Haku vs. Nikolai Volkoff...   - Volkoff sings, Haku attacks. This card is just too damn long, not only that, there's a reason all of these guys are in tag teams. Moving forward, Volkoff misses a charge to the corner, and Haku rolls him up for 3 at 4:51. 1/2*. ___________________   Raymond Rougeau vs. Bret Hart is the last singles match, thankfully.   - Once again, there is a reason some of these guys are in tag teams. In the case of Rougeau, that much is certain. Bret grabs the tights, puts his feet on the ropes, and wins by pinfall at 8:32. **. ___________________   Now, we finally have the 50,000 dollar BATTLE ROYAL. The participants are....The Moondogs, SD Jones and Mike Rotundo, The Hart Foundation, King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd, The Machines, The Dream Team, The Rougeau Brothers, The British Bulldogs, The Islanders, The Killer Bees, The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff, and lastly, we have Steve Gatorwolf and Chief Jay Strongbow. When one member of the team is eliminated, the other must also leave.   - Moondogs gone first   - SD Jones gone, so his partner must follow   - A bunch of people tossed Strongbow, so Gatorwolf must leave   - A Machine dumps the Iron Sheik, to a big pop   - Bret Hart and the Dynamite Kid take each other out...aw, damn   - Beefcake gets rid of Jim Brunzell   - Studd gets rid of Jacques Rougeau   - A Machine backdrops Beefcake to the outside   - Bundy clotheslines a Machine out, so now, we're down to The Islanders vs. Bundy and Studd. Bundy charged at an Islander, who ducked, so Bundy knocked Studd out of the ring with a clothesline at 10:34. The Islanders get all the loot. Saw that finish coming, and it was a bad battle royal. 4/10. ___________________ This show was really bad. I wish I hadn't even watched it. Best part was Valentine vs. Davey Boy, and the worst was the Battle Royal. I can't describe to you how useless this show was. ___________________   Royal Rumble '08 review next, we'll see when I put it up. I don't know yet.  
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Review: ECW...?/?/??, from the ECW Arena.

The date on the program description is wrong. You can't have a show air on 1/4 when the footage was shot on 1/5, obviously. I'll do the logical thing and say this is a 1/11/96 review, not that I'll title it as such.   To start with, before the entire program, WWE put in a video package of The Pitbulls.   I don't review the Tazz/Styles portions of the show where they talk about the past, so we skip ahead to the program.   ___________________   Flashback to "last week", as we have Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie in the back cutting a promo and all of a sudden, THE FUCKING FRANCHISE SHANE DOUGLAS makes his re-debut, as he wonders what the hell happened to ECW...   I believe that would apply to the present as well. ___________________   Now, to the "present," and Joey Styles is in the ring, as he usually is, to introduce the show, of course. Bill freaking Alfonso comes out to the ring, blowing his whistle and screaming about Taz not getting any respect. I love Alfonso's whistle gimmick. Taz then confronts Joey and says he's sick of this shit. He wants to beat Joey's ass. 911 and Tod Gordon come out, Tod attacks Joey and the refs get in-between 911 and Taz. Thank God, I don't want to see that shitty match. Some wrestlers come out to help the officials, as the fans chant "Let them go."   I say, "How about no." They separate, but El Puerto Ricano is in the ring, wearing a shirt that says, "Fonzie Must Die." Well then, Taz sees the shirt, and Tazplexes the guy RIGHT ON HIS HEAD. 911 hits the ring again as a result, but the Eliminators come out and Totally Eliminate him, dude. Jason's with them and he's full of laughs, until Rey Mysterio hits the ring, that is. What the fuck happened to THIS Rey Mysterio, he's all over the place, flying and taking out Kronus and Saturn. I guess we have a tag match, with The Eliminators against Rey and 911. Never once was anything mentioned about a match, until about a minute into their fight. So I don't have a time. Taz comes back to the ring and chokes 911 out with his towel, and I've gotta say, make up your fucking mind. Go to the ring and stay there, or go to the back and stay there. Rey and Saturn are brawling on the outside, and afterward, Kronus gives Rey a bodyslam in the ring. A standing moonsault gets 2 for Kronus. 911 suplexes Saturn in the ring, and at the same time, Kronus gives Rey a powerbomb. Total Elimination on 911 and Taz is back to choke 911 some more. Perry Saturn powerbombs Rey, then the Eliminators whip Rey into the ropes, but get double DDT'd for their trouble. 911 finds his way back to the ring, and Rey goes onto his shoulders for a chickenfight. Saturn goes up for the Eliminators, and Rey jumps to the other side and rana's Saturn off for the pinfall. I liked that spot.   After the match, Rey is Totally Eliminated, and the Pitbulls hit the ring. They look pissed. Francine attacks Jason, but she is also Totally Eliminated. That's the end of that until Jason hits one of the Pitbulls with a steel chair, and they bail soon afterward. Damage Control are out, and Francine does a stretcher job. Totally overbooked trash. Entertaining overbooked trash, that is. **. I can only take so much of that, though. Also, that's 911's last match in ECW for a while, and he only made a one show appearance a few years later. End of a chokeslamming era.   ___________________   ECW then cuts to Styles, as he introduces a segment where Jimmy Del Ray accepts Mr. Hughes as his bodyguard, after him being offered Mr. Hughes by Damien Caine. Whatever.   The match is Buh Buh Ray Dudley w/the rest of the Dudleys vs. "Gigolo" Jimmy Del Ray w/Curtis Hughes.   Buh Buh can't say his name, as I'm sure most of us know. Del Ray dropkicks him as he's trying to stammer it out, and we're underway. Buh Buh dumps Jimmy, and begins to dance. Very entertaining, even though the wrestling on these shows really lacks. Clipjob, and we come back with a Dudley avalanche for a 2 count. Swinging DDT from the top by Del Ray, then Hughes gets on the apron. Buh Buh's DDT finishes at a clipped 2:45. 3/4*. Buh Buh's music isn't dubbed, thank goodness, and that's cut once Shane Douglas makes a surprise appearance at the ECW Arena. He wants to teach Buh Buh some English, and slaps the taste out of Buh Buh's mouth. And that's that.   ___________________   A useless Rey Mysterio promo...   ___________________   And now, we have what this episode is famous for. The Beulah pregnancy angle. I have to say, this shit does not hold up at all. I was almost embarassed to be watching it. I'm not going to recap it. This kind of shit is what inspired Russo to do his Crash TV garbage, so this is one of my least favorite things I've seen in the wrestling business. What some people call, "pushing the envelope," others call trash. I'm in the group that calls it trash. It just doesn't hold up whatsoever, and I wanted to get that off my chest now. I won't say anything negative about it from now on.   ___________________   My spiel about this show....overbooked. The last episode was far better. If someone watched this episode and called ECW, "Extremely Crappy Wrestling," I wouldn't disagree. Buh Buh's gimmick is really funny, so it gives this show a higher rating than I would give it otherwise.       My rating: Decent. I was entertained, but I couldn't handle it for more than 45 minutes, the length of the episode. The pregnancy angle kinda put a downer on this episode, IMO.
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Review: ECW 2/4/96, from the Lost Battalion Hall in Queens, NY.

I'm not sure quite how to open this up, so for once, I'm at a loss for words. ___________________   The first match is Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr., for the AAA Welterweight Championship. Just seeing that matchup made me want to watch the show more. Juventud picks Rey up in a fireman's carry, and slams him to the mat. He gives him an armscissors rollup for 2, and Rey applies a headlock. Rey gives Juvi two armdrags, but Juvi kips up and gives him two of his own. Juvi chops Rey twice, and gives him a spinebuster for 2. Both men do this strange thing, where their legs are locked together and both bridge out to a headstand position, and they slap each other. Both men slap each other while standing up, but Rey misses a springboard moonsault. That looked a million times better than the Lionsault. A monkey flip by Rey only puts Juvi on the ring apron, and Rey goes up top, giving Juvi a rana to the floor. That whole sequence was awesome. Juvi comes in and gives Rey a somersault legdrop, but gets clotheslined quickly, to stop his rally. Rey gives him a flying headscissors, and a springboard hurricanrana, so Juvi bails. THEN, Rey goes out to the floor, with a TOPE CON HILO, landing on Juvi. Rey puts a chair around Juvi's neck, and rams him into two ringposts. Heh, Extreme Lucha Libre indeed. Juvi grabs a light bulb from a fan, but notices what it is, and puts it down before entering the ring. Light bulbs in wrestling are not something I'm a fan of, so good. Juvi comes in and gives Rey a dropkick, then a release german suplex. Juvi goes to the apron, and springboards in with a spinning heel kick. Wow. Juvi gives Rey a sitout powerbomb for 2, and a legdrop. He then gives Rey a press slam to a fallaway slam with a bridge, and that gets 2. Rey chops away, and Juvi misses a charge to the corner. I'm surprised I haven't mentioned this yet, but Juvi's mask is funny looking. Rey gives Juvi a rana for 2, and then another, and a powerslam. Rey goes up top, but Juvi crotches him and goes for Splash Mountain. I've seen very few matches where this move hits, as Rey counters it with a hurricanrana at 9:30, for the win. Not clipped, thank God. Well, I've only seen WCW do this finish 20 times. But this was before those, so I'll rate it accordingly. It's ***1/4. Had it been longer, it probably would have been just as awesome as Rey/Psychosis. This wasn't a spotfest, but to clarify, I rate those on their own scale. Which is whether or not I find it entertaining, accompanied with a regularly weighted star rating. I really, really want to see their 2 out of 3 falls match from March of that year, now. ___________________   Lance Russell does his bullshit with the marcea hatt omves lal runoda, and then, CACTUS JACK(!) and Mikey Whipwreck make their first appearance of the show. Cactus has a Mr. Potato Head, and does a little reenactment of him losing his own ear in Germany against Vader. That was strange to watch. Cactus asks Mikey if he'd kill for him, and Mikey says, he guesses so. He says he and Mikey can face the Smokin' Gunns at Madison Square Garden if they win the match tonight. And, oh, his shirt. WWF'nF. Awesome. ___________________   To follow up with that, it's the Eliminators vs. Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck w/Raven, for the ECW Tag Team Championships. Where's Jason? Mikey hates Raven, remember. So they both push each other during the ring introductions. Kronus and Mikey start, and there's a sign that says, Mikey: If Titan calls, please go sign. Ouch.   Kronus pushes Mikey to the ground twice, and applies a wristlock. Mikey reverses it to a headlock, and gives Kronus an armdrag. Kronus bails, but back in, Mikey gives Kronus a droptoehold, and a headlock. Kronus throws him off, and tags in Saturn, who gives Mikey a shoulderblock. Mikey gives Saturn an armdrag and a hiptoss, then takes him over with a headlock, prior to tagging in Cactus. Cactus gets on the mic, and tells Mikey to get his ass out of the ring if he's not going to help Cactus the way he wants him to. This character is fucking gold. GOLD, I tell you. Cactus gives Saturn a headbutt and an elbow, then a big boot and legdrop, not Hogan style, for 2. Mikey tags in, but won't team up with Cactus for a move, so Saturn superkicks Mikey. He gives Mikey a RELEASE slingshot back suplex, forcing Mikey to land on his head. Holy fuck. See though, this is what I was saying about headdrops at the Pit. While I may like this, and it's within the context of the match...it is HIGHLY unnecessary. Kronus tags in, and both he and Saturn give Mikey a double STO. Kronus puts Mikey in the corner, and gives him a handspring back elbow. It looked just as good as the one Muta uses, maybe even better. No lie. I'm a believer in, the original is not always the best. Kronus goes to the chinlock, which certainly is not the best. It doesn't last long, though, as he powerbombs Mikey, while Saturn comes off the top with a kneedrop. Saturn gives Mikey a clothesline for 2 as he tags in, but tags in Kronus again, awfully quick. They do a sidesuplex with a legdrop type thing, but Cactus saves Mikey at the count of 2. Kronus gives Mikey an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, and Cactus finally gets the hot tag, after Mikey makes his way to the corner. He jumps on Saturn, who's draped along the 2nd rope, and gives Kronus the repeated forearms in the corner. Cactus goes to the apron after giving Kronus the CACTUS CLOTHESLINE!!!! and springboards to the floor, giving Kronus a back elbow which drives Kronus into the guardrail. Awesome. Cactus comes back in and gives Saturn a piledriver, and grabs a bottle from under the ring. He breaks it, and goes to stab Saturn with it. However, Mikey won't let him use it. Mikey dropkicks Cactus, but Saturn's unable to use the bottle too, as Mikey gives him a superkick. I love the, "he's against both sides" thing Mikey has goin' on. Mikey clotheslines both Eliminators and goes up top, giving Saturn a rana on the way down. He hits Kronus with a boot, but gets Totally Eliminated. I've watched quite a bit of ECW, and I just now noticed how much I love that finishing move. It's so fucking brilliant. It can't be understated. I'd say that a current team should rip it off, but that's blatant gimmick imitation. Even I can't condone that, although I said the original isn't always the best. But there's no topping that. The Eliminators pick up the pinfall and the tag titles, at 12:10.   Raven attacks Mikey right after the pinfall, but Cactus pushes Raven away. SWERVE!!! as Cactus starts beating up Mikey. Typical ECW, but this is when you didn't really expect it, but at the same time you did, so it was ok. Not the, "oh fuck, I saw this coming from a mile away and it fucking sucked so hard, bro, even a mark would see that shit" kind of SWERVE you see now. Anyway, Russo couldn't write something as good as this show if he dreamed. Yeah, I said it. Raven hits Mikey with a plastic folding chair, and Cactus gives him the Double Arm DDT on the chair. No Bang, Bang. I've never seen this, and it's already my favorite Foley moment of all. He went from sometimes funny with Mikey to dead ass serious in a matter of seconds. I want to rate the match and post match ***1/2, so I will. Great stuff. ___________________   We clip away, and Joey Styles is in the ring with the Eliminators. Francine shows up, and plays nice with them. Unfortunately, her New York-ish accent is too strong for me to take it all that seriously. Now the Pitbulls come to the ring, and hang Saturn with their chain. OH MY GOD, IT WAS A SETUP. Kronus gets SUPERBOMBED, and Francine grabs a pair of scissors. They cut off Saturn's hair, as the crowd goes into raptures, and chants E-C Dub. Well, that was certainly a cool moment. ___________________   It's multiple promo time, as we go to the end of the show. The Gangstas want the Eliminators, it's as simple as that. Mustafa's laugh is great. Tommy Dreamer has a melting candle, and the wax is burning onto his hands. It's supposed to signify the desire he has. Wow. Cactus talks about Mikey, and how Mikey doesn't have an desire. Mikey drug him down, so he had to handle the situation his way. He says Vince told him to bring Mikey, but since he's not coming, Cactus will have to slap him like he was his own child.   Ok, time out. That was one of the best promos I've ever seen. EVER.   Shane Douglas makes an appearance and doesn't say anything, but...JT FUCKING SMITH! I listen to ah, Dean Martin, ah. Bill Alfonso and Taz follow, I don't really need to describe what they said. Fonz rambles like a nutcase, and Taz tells you how he's going to kick your ass. To the Pitbulls, and they'll get the Tag Titles. The Gangstas again, and they're getting the Eliminators. Beulah says something that doesn't matter much. Raven talks about the one thing in his life that matters...he doesn't say what it is, but he's talking about that ECW Title. Beulah again, more that doesn't matter. Scorpio loves women, and right now his is the ECW TV Title, but now that he has that, all the ho's is for 2 Cold (that was a great one too). Pitbulls...but we quickly cut to Saturn cutting off the rest of his own hair. He doesn't care about his hair. He doesn't care about being hung via the chain. All he cares about is the gold.....end show. ___________________   Rating: Excellent. An outstanding television show. A complete 180 from the last ECW show. The last one was everything I hated about ECW. This one was everything I loved about it. Loved that the matches were unedited, and the interview roll at the end was great too. They ran the show the night before, so they certainly rushed to get this show out. It was still great.   Best Segment: Cactus' promos. Awesome stuff.   Worst Segment: Beulah's promos. I just didn't care. ___________________   The Boston show is next. I haven't watched it yet, but I'm mildly interested. Wait, scratch that. Not doing it, cause it'll probably suck and I don't want to waste paper taking notes. Plus, there's quite a bit of fastforward material, and it's just a non-MSG house show. MSG shows are the ones that matter.
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Review: ECW 1/28/96, from the ECW Arena.

I don't have time to do the NWA or the AWA special show, so, I'll just say what I thought of the former at the end. Haven't even watched the AWA show yet. ___________________   OH YEAH, the SHAH. These are the highlights that typically open the show, so I'll rattle them off. The Shah beat Mr. Hughes...2 Cold Scorpio beat El Puerto Ricano...now a promo about Cactus Jack kissing Vince's ass. Yes, Cactus just said that. Now, highlight of the Headhunters winning a match, then we cut to an actual match. And yeah, I didn't know it was going to be a match, I thought it was going to be another highlight.   It's The Pitbulls vs. The Gangstas, for what it's worth. Anyhow, Stevie Richards is in the ring, apologizing to Francine for kicking her in the face. He acts all nice, gives her some Fluff (yeah, I just typed that), but then screws everything up by asking her if she's pregnant. Funny. She gets all mad, so the Pitbulls attack Stevie and the Blue Meanie. The Eliminators come in, and beat the Pitbulls up. The Gangstas are just standing there, which makes it all the funnier. 911 hits the ring, and chokeslams the Eliminators and Gangstas. They aren't just standing there anymore. 911 does the same to Meanie and Richards, and now, a clip job. That's just great. Tod Gordon orders the match to continue for some unseen reason, and Taz and Bill Alfonso make their first appearance. Taz chokes out 911, and Axl Rotten comes in the ring, then gets Totally Eliminated. 911 chokeslams the Eliminators, and the Pitbulls clothesline New Jack out of the ring. It's almost impossible to keep track. The Bulls superbomb Mustafa Saed, and Fonz breaks up the pin. Gordon tries to attack Fonzie, so Taz enters to pull Gordon away. Stevie superkicks Francine, and the Gangstas win after a chairshot. I don't rate clipjobs, but that was a mess. Maybe even the most overbooking I've ever seen. Probably negative star worthy. ___________________   JT SMITH, ah, the Dudleys are in the ring, ah, as it's supposed to be Buh Buh Ray Dudley and Dances with Dudley vs. JT Smith and Axl Rotten. JT won't let Buh Buh stutter out his name, and JT continually goes into his, ah, thing whenever he takes the mic away. Axl tells JT to shut the hell up, and JT hits Axl with the microphone. Buh Buh does his powerbomb on JT, where he false picks up JT a few times, presumably stuttering. That one got a big laugh out of me. The powerbomb gets three after about 20 seconds of the match. *, cause it was that much better than the last match. Axl and JT fight after the match, but the picture instantly cuts away to highlights of Sabu vs. RVD. This show is FLYING into stuff, making it nearly unwatchable. ___________________   Speaking of flying into stuff, now we have Shane Douglas and Tommy Dreamer vs. Mikey Whipwreck and Cactus Jack, for Mikey and Cactus' ECW Tag Team Titles. Tommy starts the match off with a shoulderblock, and we go into an armbar sequence, which features Mikey kipping up, and getting a flying headscissor and hurricanrana. Mikey gives Tommy an armdrag, but Tommy comes back with a clothesline before Shane tags in. He rams Mikey into the buckle, and dumps him to the outside. For some reason, Dreamer won't let Douglas use a chair against Mikey. Mikey rams Shane into the rail, and hits both Tommy and Shane with a steel chair. Mikey goes up top, and frontflips into the crowd, landing on one of his opponents, presumably Dreamer. Clipjob, and Cactus is in the ring, talking about how they don't need weapons to beat Shane Douglas. Cause he was a failure in the WWF, see. Clip again, and Jack's delivering forearms to Shane, along with the "BANG, BANG." Shane goes up top and gets a shoulderblock, then a dropkick and snap suplex. He dumps Cactus to the outside, and Tommy whips him into the guardrail. Tommy hits Cactus with a NINTENDO, and then on the inside of the ring, hits him with a mannequin dummy, like the ones you see with clothes on them in the store. Tommy baseball slides a chair into Cactus' face, and then, Shane hits Cactus with a chair. Mikey takes the chair away, and dumps Shane to the outside. Jack rams Shane into the ringpost, then gives him a swinging neckbreaker on the concrete floor. Clip again, and fuck, I'm ready to stop. Shane drops Mikey into a chair, and then gives him a delayed vertical suplex. Mikey's busted open, and we have another clip. Fuck this.   Anyway, Jack gives Shane a droptoehold into a steel chair, and that's the end of the match, so Cactus and Mikey retain their titles. Raven gave Tommy a DDT, too. I'm never reviewing a match with an equal amount of obvious clipjobs. I can live with the subtle stuff like at WrestleMania's 5 and 6, but this? Fuck no. I don't rate clipjobs, but this looked like a decent match.   Shane Douglas cuts a promo, talking about Jack being a hypocrite, for using a weapon when he said he wouldn't. We then cut to Sandman and Woman, and they both seem pissed off at each other. ___________________   It's Raven w/Kimona Wanalaya vs. Sandman w/Woman, for Sandman's ECW World Title. Entrances take a while, and for once, I applaud the clipjob here. Sandman's hitting Raven with a Singapore Cane, and then gets a DDT for 2. He canes Raven again, and then hits both Raven and the referee with the cane. Raven gets the cane and gives Sandman some of his own medicine, so Tommy Dreamer runs into the ring. We all know who he fights with, and that's Raven. Cactus Jack runs in, and gives Sandman a double arm DDT. Tommy fights Jack, so Meanie comes out to help Cactus a bit. Shane Douglas comes out, and all 4 brawl to the back. Sandman rams Raven into the buckle, then slams him and gives him a chairshot. He misses a legdrop from up top, so Raven DDT's him onto a chair, and wins the ECW Title. My notes say that there wasn't a clipjob after the first, and I don't know if there was action before the cane shots, so I'll rate it. *. If there was, disregard. Woman's in the ring, and she's happy Sandman lost the ECW Title, so now, he can come with her to WCW. He won't do it, and he wants his beer opened by Woman right now. 2 Cold Scorpio (Sandman's partner) comes to the ring, and tells him to calm down. Sandman tells him to choose what side he's on. At first he says, since he ain't gettin' no ass from Sandman, so...it's obvious what he has to do. But in typical ECW fashion, Scorpio chose to be on Sandman's side. Scorpio carries Woman out of the building, and the show's over. Yeah, that was her last ECW appearance. ___________________   Rating: Bad. The last match saved this from having been one of the worst wrestling programs I've ever watched. Too much, too quick. Hell, it was worse than Russo's booking. Not all ECW shows are like this, but this one in particular was brutal.   Best Segment: Raven vs. Sandman, for Sandman's ECW Title.   Worst Segment: The Pitbulls vs. The Gangstas. To be fair, I could have done without everything.   Loudest Sound: The Nintendo   No Sound: JT Smith. The crowd wasn't liking him at all, or so it seemed. ___________________   Back to the NWA show, it was good, I just didn't have time. Any squash show that features a title change, in this case the Mid-Atlantic Title, from Krusher Khruschev to Sam Houston, is a good show. The crowd loved the ending to that match, which featured the Road Warriors coming to the ring and beating up the rest of the Russian Team, and helping Houston cheat to win, by throwing Houston onto Khruschev, and holding Khruschev's leg for the pinfall. Outside of that, not a whole lot, except for the angles they showed. One was Jimmy Valiant being piledriven on the concrete floor by Tully Blanchard (just like the Four Horsemen said), and the Midnight Express attacking the Rock n Roll Express after their match, by driving Ricky Morton's throat into the tennis racket of Jim Cornette. Fun show, although Pez Whatley's promo kinda bothered me. Way too stereotypical. ALSO, Khruschev injured his knee during the title bout, and wasn't on TV for a while. So it'll be Ivan and his nephew Nikita only, for a little bit. ___________________   Anyhow, I don't know what I'll write about next, but for the History of the WWE Championship DVD, I'm only doing stuff from before the PPV Era. So yeah, anything that was on PPV or NBC is out the window, and won't be reviewed.
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Review: ECW 1/21/96, from the ECW Arena.

ECW looked easy, and it was. So here.   ___________________   An Axl Rotten video package opens the show, and you know why? It's cause he's facing Rob Van Dam in the first match. In Rob Van Dam's FIRST ECW match, as well.   Van Dam and Rotten both do some faux karate kicks, and Rotten starts the action with an eye rake. Van Dam does a japanese armdrag, then gets a springboard crossbody for a 2 count. RVD does these funny looking karate punches on Rotten, and puts Rotten into the corner, where he does that 'ram into a guy twice with the shoulder, then flip and do it again' thing. Rotten rakes RVD in the eyes, inevitably causing Van Dam to miss a spinning kick (of course that wasn't the reason). Rotten does a t-bone suplex, which certainly was a surprise to me, and clotheslines RVD, so RVD does a 360 sell of the move. Nice. Axl slams Rob and goes up top, but misses an elbowdrop. This match ain't as bad as I thought it'd be. Rob gets a legsweep, and a big splash from up top for 2. Axl winds up on the outside, and Rob comes out with a somersault plancha. Rotten comes in, and gets kicked by Van Dam as Van Dam came off the top rope. A standing moonsault gets 2, and Axl misses a charge in the corner after some left hands. Rob finishes Axl with a spinning slam and split-legged moonsault. *3/4. That's probably one of the best Axl matches I've seen. No joke. Remember, Jim Cornette hates Ian Rotten, not Axl. I don't disagree with him. Ian and his promotion, IWA-Mid South, are a large part of what is wrong about independent wrestling. I'm obviously referring to their violent nature. ___________________   A video package runs which highlights events from the past few weeks of ECW television. Those highlights are...the return of the FRANCHISE, Francine being totally eliminated, Cactus Jack helping Mikey Whipwreck win both the TV Title and Tag Team Titles from 2 Cold Scorpio, the subsequent reaction from Raven when Cactus tried to bring Mikey to give the titles to Raven, in which Raven and Cactus had a bit of an altercation. Last but not least, we have the clip that denotes a possible Taz/911 feud (which never happened, because 911 left ECW), and Beulah's announcement that she's pregnant. The video package was pretty long, and the audio was terrible. Bad song selection. ___________________   Taz is facing Hack Myers, and I'd be making a big mistake if I didn't mention Myers' nickname. It's "the Shah." Now, you ask, why is it the Shah? Well....after every move, punch or kick that he does, both he and the crowd yell out, SHAH. It's actually funny. When I saw the nickname and heard the 'shahing' for the first time, I thought it was a little dumb. But it grew on me, and it's pretty damn funny.   Bill Alfonso accompanies Taz to the ring, and he's wearing a Cowboys jersey. In Philadelphia. That's a big no-no. The heat deflects to Taz as it's supposed to, and the crowd starts a "fuck you Taz" chant. Hack starts with a "shah", no, excuse me, armwringer, but it doesn't do much, as shown when Taz hiptosses him. Taz applies an armbar, but Hack makes it to the ropes. Taz gives Hack a droptoehold and applies a rear naked choke, but again, Hack reaches the ropes. Hack starts a comeback, which consists of punches, until Taz gets a halfnelson Tazplex. A release german suplex puts Hack on his head, and the Tazmission finishes. Well, that didn't last long. *. Taz tells everyone to fuck off. Nothing about 911, just a bit about Sabu, and the statement made in the last sentence. ___________________   Next is a bit of footage from House Party 96, unfortunately, it's a hack job. I've heard good things about this match between Sabu and Stevie Richards, though, so try to find it. Sabu does a sunsetflip powerbomb from the ring to the floor on Richards, and it's worth noting that the floor isn't padded. Of course, this IS EXTREME. The thud of Richards head on the concrete was sick. Sabu wins it with the atomic Arabian facebuster, btw. ___________________   Now, we go to the end of the show, even though Styles and Tazz said we'd see footage of Sandman vs. Konnan. Guess not, and it's probably for the better. Strange as I am, I wanted to see it. The promo reel goes in this order. Tommy Dreamer and Beulah, Raven, Richards and the Blue Meanie, Fonzie and Taz, the Pitbulls, the Eliminators, and the Franchise tells Tommy Dreamer that he'll team up with Tommy against Whipwreck and Cactus. The FRANCHISE wants Cactus. He doesn't care about Mikey. ___________________   End show.   Not as good as last week, I suppose that's the only way to give these an overall rating. They're short, so if you read this before watching and don't like the sound of what's there, don't watch it. Or watch it, and be bored. Whatever. Notable for the debut of RVD, and not much else. It took me about 20-30 minutes to type this, so hey. Easy review, that's why I got it over with. Prime Time Wrestling has to be next, otherwise it WILL go off. And I haven't watched it yet.
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RAW from 5/12/1997...mostly.

Ok, time for some random thoughts about things I've watched which I'm unable to type a full review of. When I go back to work once this hand is healed, this part of my reviewing, outside of Raw and Nitro, is very likely to stay like this. I won't have the time to write like I did before. I probably shouldn't have tagged this under review, but whatever. ___________________   So, first, Shorties Section. RAW debuts, introduced by Santino Marella.   - Triple H's finisher in his first RAW match was a funny one to see. I couldn't picture him doing a cutter variation now, so that was a surprise.   - The original concept with Mankind's music was awesome. The piano music at the end, I mean. He gave Bob Holly a little too much during the match, though.   - The shoulderbreaker was a pretty lame finisher for a debuting guy. So why did Rocky Maivia have it? Sunny fawning over him on commentary was funny, as was Rocky's hair. Not diggin' all the blue, though.   - The Headbangers beat the Hardy's the hell up, on that RAW where Sid won the title from Bret Hart, the night after the Final Four. Not much to see here at all, except for the Hardy's lame choice in tights.   - Carlito's RAW debut in an Intercontinental Championship match against Shelton Benjamin featured a hilarious botched somersault plancha, by Benjamin. It was one of the funnier botches I've seen, seeing as the guy didn't get hurt. And the match was **1/4, thankfully, as Carlito cheated to win at 9:07. I like Shelton Benjamin, but he always seems to have the most lax attitude in the entire promotion during his matches.   - Umaga beat up Ric Flair in his RAW debut, the night after WM 22. Nothing really to mention here.   - Santino Marella beat Umaga in a no-holds barred Intercontinental Championship match, during his debut in Milan, Italy. First, I loved the European football type atmosphere in the crowd. That was awesome. Second, Bobby Lashley is the exact opposite of what the WWE needs to have on TV. He looks like a black Scott Steiner. Anyway, Santino only won as a result of Bobby Lashley's interference. And there was really no way I could rate that "match."   Ok, that was a pretty good selection to start with, given that you aren't going to get any great matches out of this bunch. It's a hell of a lot better than the WWE picking so many matches I've already seen or have last month. ___________________   Ok, next is Black Saturday, which I watched about an hour ago (when I typed this part, anyway)   - Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch are awesome, although I already knew that. And the move they used to finish their squash tag match was incredible. Like a back suplex Doomsday Device.   - George Steele is a heel is much better than the watered-down version that he became just a few years later.   - Jesse Ventura's match was nothing special...that shouldn't be a surprise.   - B.Brian Blair had an interview with Gene Okerlund, talking about challenging for the WWF Tag Titles...this was quickly followed by an interview with Alexis Smirnoff. I thought Smirnoff's faux Russian accent was brutal.   - The Iron Sheik's squash match was fun, namely because of the chants, "Iran sucks" and "We Want Slaughter." Unfortunately, there was no appearance by Slaughter.   - Bobo Brazil vs. Big John Studd was tough for me to pay attention to, because my cousin wouldn't leave me alone. It was entertaining, which is more than I thought I would say. Studd won with an elbowdrop.   Overall, I can see why people were up in arms about this. And the suggestion that people were up in arms about this just because they were NWA purists is absurd. People were up in arms about this because an entire territory was GONE. I'd be pissed too if an entire roster of wrestlers that I watched and liked just disappeared. That doesn't really count for WCW, because while I watched them, I wanted them to die as a result of their stupidity. I may have been a mark, but I knew the score. Also, it became part of a storyline. This was never the case with Georgia Championship Wrestling. ___________________   Now, onto RAW, from 5/12/97. I'm using thehistoryofwwe.com to jumpstart my memory. The non-match stuff MAY be out of order.   - The show started with the Hart Foundation giving an interview, Vince Russo style. By that, I mean the promo to open the show, which has become a staple in recent weeks. Anyhow, I'm already tired of them. Bret Hart isn't the best person to be giving interviews like this. While I love the guy, he just isn't. Anyway, nothing happened, they just went backstage after being booed. These should always be a vehicle for someone else to come out and either run them down/get ran down/make or announce a match, or for an attack. None of that happened here.   - In a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match, Ahmed Johnson beat HHH by Disqualification, when Chyna hit Ahmed with a steel chair. Now, I've gotta ask a question I don't want answered. How did HHH get back in the tournament if he lost? Anyway, we'll see, but it's going to be stupid regardless.   - Scott Putski then faced Leif Cassidy...I hate Scott Putski. Putski won, and was attacked by Cassidy after the match.   - LOD beat PG-13 in a squash, when the Nation chose who they were going to send out, they sent the two small white boys. I found it funny, for that reason.   - The Undertaker defeated Savio Vega by DQ, after the Nation interfered and beat up Taker. The match sucked, and the lights took forever to go off during Undertaker's entrance. I'll get to the angles on the show at the end, after match thoughts.   - RVD beat Jeff Hardy with a split-legged moonsault. He did a giant splash during the match, but that wasn't the finish. Of note (outside of RVD making an appearance on RAW) was RVD's entrance music, you know, the ECW song where Heyman goes all EXTREME....CHAMPIONSHIP....WRESTLING. It's in the FPR ECW videos, if you don't know what I'm talking about.   - It was never announced whether this was a tag title match or not, but this elimination match was Owen Hart and the British Bulldog vs. The Headbangers vs. The New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon. The match was kinda shitty, because it cut to commercial in the middle. Owen and the Bulldog won the match, too. So I guess it didn't matter whether or not it was a title match. Now, for the angles/interviews, which are in no order, simply because it didn't matter. The Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels thing ended the show, as Hart was just talking to Shawn. That sucked.   - Faarooq cut a promo in the ring, on the Undertaker. After that, the Undertaker cut a promo on Faarooq, on the TitanTron. This was after Taker's match.   - Mankind came out along with a burnt Paul Bearer, to give the Undertaker a warning, before divulging a secret. I'm pretty sure what this leads to.   - Steve Austin came out and cut a promo on Brian Pillman. You have to cut the ass off a snake first. So, for the Hart Foundation, he'll start with Brian Pillman. Best part of the show.   - There was also Part 2 of that Dustin Rhodes interview, which I really didn't care about.   I think that's it. Anyway, this show wasn't too hot. Next time I'll write this stuff down, because I'm sure I forgot something. That's why there aren't any star ratings. ___________________   Now, Nitro.   - The Ultimo Dragon forced Juventud Guerrera to submit in a fun bout, for Dragon's TV Title. Juvi's mask sucks. This match didn't.disappoint, and ended with the Dragon Sleeper.   - US Champ Dean Malenko defeated Steve McMichael, after interference from Reggie White. I never want to watch the Mongo/White match. Ever. Reggie White's appearances embarass me. Reggie cut a promo after the match. It sucked.   - Wrath squashed Scotty Riggs. I hate Riggs. James Vandenburg came out, along with Mortis before the match, and Vandenburg told us Wrath's name. Glacier came out after the match, and looked menacing. Nobody cared.   - In the last match, Hugh Morrus and Konnan defeated Ice Train and Alex Wright. Wright was totally uninterested in tagging with Ice Train. Teddy Long looked fat. Also, Morrus got cold feet before attempting to moonsault Ice Train. He got up top and went all...I can't do it. Ice Train blows. Also, I love when Alex Wright does that stupid dance. Makes me laugh every time.   - For angles, Randy Savage came out and ran down DDP. Nothing in that.   - Roddy Piper, Kevin Greene and Ric Flair come to the ring and talk...until Syxx, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall appeared on a video screen and ran them down, until the video cut to commercial. My original thought was, those guys are definitely in the building...   - And then, the aformentioned members of the NWO attacked Roddy Piper. THOUGHT SO.   - Lastly, Eric Bischoff and Fake Sting came to the ring, to make fun of/talk trash about the real Sting. So Sting comes down the aisleway, and beats up Fake Sting, which causes Eric Bischoff to run away. That ended the show.   Neither was better this time. Both RAW and Nitro sucked. ___________________   Lastly, we have ECW. No, not the ECW on 24/7. The ECW that was on Sci-Fi last night. Yeah, I buckled, and I'm going to start watching WWE's product again. I knew this would happen. We'll see how it turns out. There are two reasons for this.   1. I am not missing Ric Flair's last run. No way, no how.   2. There are a few "younger" (meaning future stars) who I like, so I'd like to watch them, as well.   Ok, so...   - To start the show, Armando Alejandro Estrada brings out Chavo Guerrero. What's this about? Well, I guess Chavo got sick of hearing about CM Punk, or something. Anyway, the Cuban guy makes a match for later, which will be Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk, and if Chavo wins, he gets an ECW Title Shot. I really hate when a company books the, "if you win, you get a title shot" match. Just do. And also, where did Estrada's accent go? It's gone, isn't it. - Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore and Kelly Kelly defeated John Morrison, The Miz (both preceding are Smackdown Tag Team Champions), and Layla. During the ring entrances, I wondered, why am I watching this shit again? The reasons are self explanatory, if you watch the WWE. If you don't, well, Yang's entrance music is shit, John Morrison looks like a homosexual, and the Miz is the Miz. By, "John Morrison looks like a homosexual," I'm talking about during his entrance. There is absolutely no reason to slow down the video so that we can see his hair blow in the fake wind gusts that come out through the stage. The match was decent, and ended when Yang gave the Miz a moonsault block, for the pin. **1/4. Wang and Moore will face Morrison and the Miz in a 15 minutes of fame match next week, which entails that the team which wins the most falls will win the match. Anyway, the Miz sucks.   - Then, Big Daddy V squashed some white kid. I don't know or care what his name was.   - Shelton Benjamin beats James Curtis...this match was WAY too long. Shelton's turnbuckle powerbomb is cool, though, unlike his catch phrase. It was smart of him to change his hairstyle, it helps to distinguish him from any other generic wrestler.   - Last, CM Punk defeated Chavo Guerrero by countout. I was flipping back and forth between Dirty Jobs and this during most of the matches, that's why there isn't a rating for anything but the first. Hey, I like Dirty Jobs. Great show. Chavo looks flabby without being on steroids. Drastically different, but that's ok. Don't do drugs.   When there are games on (Lakers or Kings) I'll be flipping back and forth during these shows. But what I saw tonight was good, and I'll keep watching. A positive to the brand extension is that I can just ignore what I don't like watching. A negative is that I quit watching in the first place because I could just ignore shows I don't like watching. We'll see how long I keep watching for. Could only be until Flair retires, who knows. ___________________   So, yeah, that's what I've watched since the last review I posted. The next few of these may not be as in-depth as this one, I don't know. Just generally whatever I think about something, and sometimes, I don't think about anything during a particular match. This kinda turned into what I didn't want it to turn into towards the end. Too review-ish, but that was because I forgot a few things about RAW and Nitro. The next one will not be that way. I'll post the Bash at the Beach '94 review on Friday.
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Predictions for Thursday's NCAA Tournament Games

This tournament is a crapshoot, so why not post my bullshit predictions? I'll separate them by the sites of the games.   Lexington, Kentucky. Games are from the South bracket.   (1) Buckeyes (29-3) vs. (16) Central Conn. St. (22-11). Ohio State's going to win this game by 50 points. That's the great analysis that you could only find on this blog.   (8) Mormons (25-8) vs. (9) X (24-8). This is a tossup. I'll take Xavier. They've got something to prove, and they're playing much closer to home than Brigham Young. Plus, BYU has an Ainge on their team. For that, they can go to hell. Xavier by 6.   (6) Cardinals (23-9) vs. (11) Cardinal (18-12). I'm going to pick a lot of the #11 seeds. This pick is based on my knowledge of Stanford, having watched them a gajillion times. Brook Lopez is a force on the inside. Stanford by 10.   (3) Texas A&M (25-6) vs. (14) Pennsylvania (22-8). A&M's a Final Four pick of mine. They'll get a 20 point win.   Sacramento, California. If SC would have been playing in Cowtown, I'd use my FFM's to get up there. The first two games are from the West bracket, and the 2nd set are from the East Bracket.   (2) F UCLA (26-5) vs. (15) Weber St. (20-11). Weber State has a shooter's chance. That's all they've got, because with their lack of athleticism they'll need to rain 3's on UCLA to keep it close. I really don't see that happening, so UCLA by a comfortable 25.   (7) Indiana (20-10) vs. (10) Zags (23-10). If Gonzaga had Heytvelt, I'd pick 'em. They don't, so they lose an edge in what will likely be a typical Sampson, slow, boring ass game. Indiana by Fo. ______________________________________   (3) Wazoo (25-7) vs. (14) Oral Roberts (23-10). Wazoo is starting to fall back to earth. Oral Roberts is the earth that Wazoo will hit. No analysis, just an Oral Roberts upset after a late comeback.   (6) Vandy(20-11) vs. (11) G-Dub (23-8). I just don't think that Vandy's that good. Sue me. GW by 7.   Winston-Salem, North Carolina. All 4 matchups from the East bracket.   (1) North Carolina (27-6) vs. (16) Eastern Kentucky (21-11). I don't think UNC should have received a #1 seed. They won't do anything to prove me right in this matchup.   (2) Hoyas (26-6) vs. 15) Belmont (23-9). This will be the biggest beating of any non-#1 seed game taking place in the entire tournament. I like Georgetown to go all the way, but that's not what this blog is for. It's for picking the matchups that are set.   (7) BC. (20-11) vs. (10) Knight U. (21-12). I haven't been feelin' the BC love all year. That said, I don't like Texas Tech very much either. SO, this will probably be a great game. BC in OT.   (8) Marquette (24-9) vs. (9) Sparta (22-11). The 2nd best 1st round matchup. I've got a feeling that one of these teams is going to get blown out, and I don't see Michigan St. having that ability. Marquette by a nice +15.   Buffalo, New York. First two games are from the West bracket, 2nd set is from the East bracket.   (3) SHIT Panthers (27-7) vs. (14) Wright St. (23-9). This game is going to be much, MUCH closer than anyone thinks. Pitt survives in the same fashion that Florida did when they had Mike Miller.   (6) Dook (22-10) vs. (11) VCU (27-6). This is going to be the biggest shitkicking of Dook I've ever seen. VCU by 15. Duke's white guys are going to get ran out of the building. ___________________________________________   (4) Terps (24-8) vs. (13) Davidson (29-4). This is going to become a trendy upset pick by the networks over the period leading up to the tournament. I really don't see it. Maryland by 13.   (5) Butler (27-6) vs. (12) Old Dominion (24-8). I hate how the committee matched these two teams together. I thought that they both had Sweet 16 potential. OT game here, I'll take Butler.     Tomorrow I'll hit up the Friday games. Comments, complaints and anything else you can think of are welcome.
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Predictions for Sunday's NCAA Tournament Games.

My fucking entry got deleted, so I'm in a bad fucking mood. Short, sweet and to the point. Fuck posting records at this point, because it's meaningless.   Chicago, Illinois. West, Midwest.   1. Kansas v. 8 Kentucky. Kentucky is just there. Kansas got the easy road to the Elite Eight. Comfortable win here, this will be the only 1 v 8 that I don't think will end at the wire.   2. Wisconsin v. 7 UNLV. Lovin' UNLV and they've got teh athletes. Goes against my, if shit in the first round they'll be good in the 2nd theory, but whatever. UNLV with some cool shit late.   New AWLINS, Louisiana. Midwest, South.   1. Florida v. 9 Purdue. This one's going to be close, because I think on paper, this is the one that looks like it could be a blowout. Arizona needs to purchase their players brains, that's a top 10 team athletically. Florida kinda late.   (2) Memphis vs. (7) Nevada. Man, I really think Nevada's athletes can keep up with Memphis. But Memphis has that turn-on capability, where they can run any team in the tourney out of the building and to the airport. I think Memphis doesn't have the experience with their big time players, so I'll take the Wolfpack.   Spokane, Washington. First game is from the Midwest Region, 2nd is from the East Region. Shitty tournament venue, by the way. Keep this shit in Seattle so I can go next time. Thx.   (3)Oregon vs. (11)Winthrop. Here's my "two-way pick". This is going to be an Oregon blowout, similar to the USC game last week, or it's going to be a close Oregon victory. This Duck team is really good guys. Really good. Pullin' the THEORY on this one. Double the gimmick, double the fun.   (4)Texas vs. (5)USC. There isn't a fucking chance of me picking against USC here. Nick Young is rockin' the MOHAWK~! those Horns need to be fucking hooked, and we fucking owe them. My fucking goodness, we owe those damn cocksuckers. I'm getting excited thinkin' about it. I want to blow these fucking bitches the fuck onto a fucking airplane headed back to fucking Austin. I'm fucking psyched.   Now that I'm heading to the games in Columbus, Ohio I can calm down. Talkin' about the Spokane shit gets me wired. West, South. Feel bad for the organizers at this site, there's no big draw.   (4)Southern Illinois vs. (5)Va. Tech. I think the Hokies proved how I felt about them at the beginning, with the way they played today. Man, I don't like them at all. Southern Illinois big.   (4)Virginia vs. (5) Tennessee. The Vols made firm believers out of me this afternoon. That Long Beach State shit was a beating. I said that the Hoos couldn't get to the Sweet 16 unless they played at home, so Tennessee in the only OT game of the day.     I did pretty good outside of the LBSU debacle. I'm probably going to update this blog often because I have a lot to say about sports that'll get me in trouble on the board. On Monday I'll talk about whatever's the big news that's buggin' me. I'll post some thoughts about each of the results from the weekend on the corresponding days. Comments are way appreciated, even if you disagree. It'll probably lead to some nice discussion.
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Predictions for Saturday's NCAA Tournament Games.

These do not coincide with my brackets at all, these are mostly my gambling picks. I make my ballsy picks here, not in the brackets where I have the chance to brag.   Lexington, Kentucky. South Region.   (1) Buckeyes (30-3) vs. (9) X (25-8). I'm lovin' X here. Reasons for this are...   #1. They're playing close to home.   #2. Thad Matta is Xavier's former coach. His recruits will come out to play.   #3. One 8 will beat a 9. I like this matchup better than the other ones.   (3) Texas A&M (26-6) vs. (6) Cardinals (24-9). My analysis on the Stanford game is enough to not trust me on this one. However, I really underestimated the early start time and the Louisville press. I think A&M has enough athletes to break it, so they win. CLOSE.     Sactown, California. West and East.   (2) FUCLA (27-5) vs. (7) Indiana (21-10). This is an awesome matchup for those that like the low-scoring games. This one's going to be real close, if you ask me. I'll go with a UCLA padded victory after teh free throws, but I wouldn't be surprised to see it go the other way.   (3) Wazoo (26-7) vs. (6) Vandy(21-11). Don't get Vandy. Hate Wazoo. Wazoo will get to the Sweet 16, because I really don't get Vanderbilt's success. If someone could explain it to me, it would be helpful. Another close one.     Winston Salem, North Carolina. East Region.   Some prior analysis....     (1) North Carolina (28-6) vs. (9) Sparta (23-11). This game can go one of two ways. UNC blowout or Nazi boy shows up and gives North Carolina a scare. This game could prove my prior analysis right. I know it's not the smart pick, but I want to take Michigan St. here. But I can't, so UNC in a blowout where Neitzel does nothing.   (2) Hoyas (27-6) vs. (7) BC. (21-11). Georgetown is going to make BC pay for leaving the Big East. BC has the experience, but Georgetown needs to show WHY they're a sexy Final Four pick. Georgetown, not in a blowout, but by enough to keep everyone from sweating.   City of Losers, New York. Only Midwest matchup on the day and a Western matchup.   (4) Terps (24-8) vs. (5) Butler (27-6). I have this theory about teams that play real shitty and find their way into the 2nd round. They explode once they get there. Time for Butler to test it, I think they'll win.   3) SHIT Panthers (27-7) vs. (11) VCU (27-6). I'm having a real hard time not picking VCU here. Pitt let Wright State get back into the game before closing them out. Commonwealth has a lot more talent than Wright State. Best game of the day, another down to the wire game.     It almost makes me glad to see these matchups and no upsets, because these are some pretty fucking good matchups. I got 12 of 16 games today right on this blog, so I did a pretty good job. I'm picking with an unbalanced mixture of heart and head here.        
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Predictions for Friday's NCAA Tournament Games.

I said I would do this Monday. Then I said I would do this Tuesday.   It's neither of those days, but I'm going to do this right now.   From Chicago, Illinois. First set are in the West Region, 2nd set are in the Midwest Region.     (1) KU (30-4) vs. (16) Niagara (23-11). I have this feeling that Kansas is going to lose early, but with the matchups placed in their path, I can't really see a team that's going to be able to handle them. I haven't been sold on Va. Tech all season. This will be the closest of all the 1/16 games. Kansas by 10.   (8) Kentucky (21-11) vs. (9) Villanova (22-10). Matchup OF CATS LOLZ. Honestly don't know. I'll flip a coin. Tails says Nova, I'm not so sure about that one. Game will probably be an unexpected blowout. _______________________________________   (2) Badgers (29-5) vs. (15) Texas A&M C.C. (26-6). I'm not a fan of Wisconsin's style of play. It seems very susceptible to upsets, but not in this game. Probably in the 2nd round. Badgers by 14.   (7) UNLV (28-6) vs. (10) Georgia Tech (20-11). I'm lovin' UNLV as a possible surprise Elite Eight pick. They'll make themselves known in this game, with a big win. I sorta feel bad for the people that are going to be at the Chicago games, because I really don't see any of these games being close. Usually, when I don't think any of the games will be close, there's probably going to be a huge upset. IF it happens, it'll be the 1.16 game.     From The Crescent City, Louisiana. First two games are from the Midwest Region, 2nd set are from the South Region.     (2) Memphis (30-3) vs. (15) North Texas (23-10). How did North Texas get this seed, instead of the 16 that Niagara's occupying. Memphis to cover whatever the spread gets set at.   (7) Nevada (28-4) vs. (10) Creighton (22-10). Man, this is a hard one. Do I take Fazekas and the Nevada team that got buttfucked in seeding, or the hot MoVal team. I'll take Creighton, given last year's appearance of the automatic bid winner from the Valley. For those that don't know, it was Sweet 16 participant, Bradley. ______________________________________   (1) Gators (29-5) vs. (16) Jackson St. (21-13). HA.   (8) Arizona (20-10) vs. (9) Boilers (21-11). I wonder how good Arizona could be if they put it all together. If they get past Purdue, I'd give them a shot against Florida, which is really all you can ask for from any non 1 or 2 seed. They have the talent to beat Purdue and Florida, but not the mindset. I'll give them the win against Purdue, close.     Spokane, Washington. First two games are from the Midwest Region, 2nd set are from the East Region.     (3) Ducks (26-7) vs. (14) Miami (OH) (18-14). Oregon made a believer out of me on Saturday. First of many tournament wins for the Ducks.   (6) Irish (24-7) vs. (11) Winthrop (28-4). I have NO #6 seeds winning a game. No, seriously. Fuck Notre Dame, go Winthrop. ________________________________________   (4) Horns (24-9) vs. (13) New Mexico St. (25-8). NMSU has a ton of JuCo transfers, so they've got a decent chance. But they have no chance of stopping Durant and Augustin. So Texas, comfortably.   (5) Men of Troy (23-11) vs. (12) Fags (21-13). Arkansas sucks, so I'm glad that we drew them. I'd be worried if we would have wound up playing an ODU or Creighton type with a different seed. Game will be close, USC doesn't blow people out.     Columbus, Ohio. First set from the West Region, 2nd set are from the Dirty South.     (4) Saluks (27-6) vs. (13) Holy Cross (25-8). HOLY OVERRATED. Whose dick did SIU's AD suck to get this seed. I want to pick Holy Cross right here, but I don't think they're good enough. If Bucknell would have got the auto bid and this seed, I'd take them over the Saluks. The winner of this game's losing to Illinois anyway. WHOOPS I REVEALED MY NEXT PICK   (5) Hokies (21-11) vs. (12) Chiefs (23-11). Easiest upset pick ever. I don't even think it's an upset pick, as the only reason the Hokies got this seed is because they beat North Carolina. Big fucking deal, we did it last year. I think the Tarheels and that whole fucking conference are overrated, so sue me. Illini by a fucking 10 spot. ________________________________________   (4) Hoos (20-10) vs. (13) Albany (23-9). Winner loses in the next round. Who cares. Virginia could only get to the Sweet 16 if they could play on their home court. Which they can't, so they'll go out. I think Virginia's the only ACC team that deserved their seed, so they get that much. They'll win a close one.   (5) Vols (22-10) vs. (12) Pyramids (24-7). I saw this pairing and nearly jizzed in my shorts. As a Big West fan, I PROMISE Long Beach State deserved this seed. All those Pac 10 academic rejects are going to throttle the Vols.       Saturday games will be predicted tomorrow night, because otherwise it won't get done. The local network gets all the West Coast is the Best Coast games. That's good, because those are the ones I want to watch, and find the most interesting.      
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Predicitions for Today and Tomorrow's NCAA Tournament Games

THURSDAY   Southern Illinois vs. Kansas, 7:10/4:10 PM. Not too sure about this one, considering that Kansas hasn't been challenged so far this tournament. The Salukis looked good against Va. Tech, but I thought that a lot of teams would look good against the Hokies, so it's sorta misleading. I GUESS I'll pick the Jayhawks by eh, 10.   Texas A&M vs. Memphis, 7:27/4:27 PM. No Chris Douglas-Roberts makes this pick really, really easy. And even if CDR does play, he won't be the same player that he was before he got hurt. Aggies, easy.   Pittsburgh vs. UCLA, 9:40/6:40 PM. FUCLA finds ways to win games. They could blow dick all game, and they'd still win. Based on that, I'll pick them in a close, boring game. UCLA 40, PITT 35. And I get to watch all of it. yay.   Tennessee vs. Ohio State, 9:57/6:47 PM. Ugh. Two teams I totally dislike and don't want to talk about, and I still have to pick one. Ohio State.   FRIDAY Butler vs. Florida, 7:10/4:10 PM. I think Billy Donovan's going to have the right gameplan for this game. If the Gators come out bombing 3-pointers, they're going to be in for a close one. If they get the ball on the blocks to Horford, Noah and sometimes Richard, Butler's going to have no chance. I don't think Butler's going to win anyway, and I think that Florida will keep the game in the post. Florida by 20.   Vanderbilt vs. Georgetown, 7:27/4:27 PM. I had Georgetown winning it all, but I've gotta say, this looks like a good upset pick. The Hoyas have struggled all tournament, but they haven't played a team with enough athleticism to take advantage of it. I think that Vanderbilt's got that athleticism. So, Vanderbilt in OT.   UNLV vs. Oregon, 9:40/6:40 PM. I like UNLV a lot. Oregon can beat them, but for some reason I feel that UNLV's gonna pull it out. They're nearly identical teams. So, UNLV by 6.   USC vs. North Carolina, 9:57/6:47 PM. We will win. That's it.
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Not a good sports weekend.

I'll state that this weekend in sports sucked and it was probably the slowest all year. I'll put something in here about Pat Riley, Ron Artest and a small something on Reggie Bush.     That bolded quote is definitely a major ouch. Jermaine went to bat for Ron in the brawl last season, ao that's definitely a strong statement coming from JO.   Seeing as Ron doesn't want to go out West, I think it's going to be very difficult for the Pacers to find a place to accomodate him. I'm looking at New Jersey and Cleveland to try to acquire him for this season, and I think he'll probably wind up in New York after becoming a free agent. Personally, I don't think he's going to be dealt.   Pat Riley's the new head coach of the Miami Heat, and I'm curious to see what he's going to be able to do with this ballclub. I think that they're going to have a hard time adjusting to his style of play, and we are going to see more balls going inside to Shaq and less explosiveness on the run from Dwyane Wade. I don't really know if Wade is going to be the same type of player.   Reggie Bush won the Heisman in a surprising landslide as apparently the last 2 games of the season made big marks in the minds of the Heisman voters. I think that if a notoriously bad organization gets that #1 pick, he'll be staying in school.   The San Diego Chargers are near dead in the AFC and Pittsburgh now has life.   As usual, comments and disagreements are wanted and appreciated.  
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No more.

No more predictions. Suffice it to say, with the USC loss, my heart is no longer in this tournament. I just don't want FUCLA to win it all.
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