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It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

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How To Vibrate
 

Thought's on Cryptopsy's new album "The King Beneath"

What? Seriously, what the fuck? To say this sucks is an understatement. This is an abortion. In the pantheon of bad Metal albums, it's up there with Metallica's St. Anger, Slayer's Diablos in Musica, Pantera's pre Cowboys From Hell material, and Celtic Frosts Cold Lake. Seriously, fuck this shit. Worst album of the year.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Gary Floyd rates the new Fall TV Line Up

Yeah, you know how we do this   Valentine (CW)-Haven't seen it. A lot of the new shows seem aimed at women.   Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network)-While I'm not a "Star Wars" fan, it's better than expected. B-   Pushing Daisies(ABC)-It's back, and I still love it. Funny, odd, and kinda cute. A   True Blood(HBO)-Finally, a TV show about Vampires that gets it right. Good acting, interesting characters, and vampires who don't hate themselves. B+   The Shield: The Final Season(FX)-Back, and still one of the best shows around. Shame it's the last season though. A+   Sons of Anarchy (FX)-Pretty good show. Ron Perlman pretty much steals the show. B+   Superjail (Adult Swim)-I love this. Frequently gory and hilarious, with an animation style that reminds me of the shows that were on MTV's "Liquid Television" and "Cartoon Sushi" B+   Gary Unmarried-No. Just no. F It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia (FX)-Still pretty funny, and I love it. B+   Do Not Disturb (ABC)-Again, no. F   Fringe (Fox)-Not bad, but not really exciting me that much so far. B   Knight Rider (NBC)-Worst show of the season? Without a doubt. F Dexter Season Three (Showtime)-I love this show. Just really well written and acted, and with very few flaws. A   Chuck Season Two (NBC)-I'm really liking it so far-it's even better than the first season. B+
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Some things to note

Ok, here's some things to note at the moment, including a little something to those who bitched about me being glad Obama won   -First things first: I hate dumb "Bush=Hitler" and Bush looks like a chimp shit as much as the next guy. Come on, I don't like the guy, but that shit's not only childish, but also retarded. That's why I also don't want to hear shit like "Obamessiah" and "Obama, lol don't you mean Osama" shit either. It's stupid not matter how you lean politically, and if you talk like that, then grow up.   -It's pretty cold at the moment, and even snowed briefly today. So yeah, it feels like fall. Funny that it was like 65 last week. Guess that means it's time for my fall/summer listening/ some black metal (well, black metal that doesn't suck), dark folk music, Alice in Chain's acoustic material, a little Trip Hop (Terranova's "Close the Door" and Hooverphonic's "A New Sterophonic Sound Spectacular" work well), a little Doom Metal (Electric Wizard and Burning Witch), a little ambient, Depeche Mode (that works every season though), and some Shoegazer (ditto.) So, what's the weather like for you guys, and what do you listen to this time of year?   -KANERULESFAN is an awesome gimmick. Seriously, this guy is hilarious, and the best gimmick in a long time.   -And finally, I treat a bitch like 7 Up, never have never will.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

"American Dad" is funnier than "Family Guy"

When I was watching "American Dad" last inght, I remembered something: this is a show that is better than "Family Guy" in so many ways.   First, let's get this out of the way: I used to really like "Family Guy." I really did. Then it got renewed. I still liked it, but couldn't deny it was lacking. Then I saw the Superbowl episode, and I started to realize maybe it wasn't that good. Then I saw older episodes on Adult Swim, and came to the conclusion that it had always been hit and miss in the past, and now sucked. Now it just get's worse. I tried to watch it last night, and let's just say "South Park" was right.   However, Seth Macfarlene has another show that airs after "Family Guy." It's called "American Dad." At first, I didn't like it. Then I started to warm up to it. Now I've realized that it's not only better than "Family Guy", but is everything that "Family Guy" should be. It's funnier, uses pop culture references in away that's not annoying (no annoying cut away gags or too many jokes that overstay their welcome-plus come on, a tribute to "The Warriors" and using Joy Division's song "Love Will Tear Us Apart"? That's gold), is more plot driven (and interesting), has less annoying characters, has social and political satire that doesn't annoy me-it's just the better of the two.   Basically, while "Family Guy" get's more annoying and lazy, "American Dad" gets better. Last night may have been my favorite episode yet too. Shame "Family Guy" is more popular, but at least I get a funnier show out of "American Dad." Just saying...    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Let's talk music, or whatever

Let's talk about some of the music coming out (or has already come out)   Kanye West-Heartbreak and 808's-If it weren't for Cryptopsy's The King Beneath, this would be the worst album of the year. It has a neat idea (old 808 drum machine beats and electro/synth pop production), but it's terrible overall. Also, I fucking hate Auto-Tune/The Vocalizer.   Metallica-Death Magnetic-Wow, they still got it. While hardly their best work, it's a step in the right direction, and almost forgives the sins of Re-Load and St. Anger. There's a few weak tracks ("Unforgiven III", "The Judas Kiss"), but not bad overall.   Darkspace-Darkspace III-Ambient Black Metal done right. A good, cold winter night outside album, with a good use of keyboards (holy shit, they actually know how to use a synth!), and some effective atmosphere. It may be a bit too long (79 minutes and 14 seconds), but if you have patience for this sort of thing, it's good. Also, if you want an equally good, but shorter, go with Coldworld's Melancolie².   Q Tip-The Renaissance-Yeah, this is the best hip hop album of the year bar none. Nobody's paying attention to it, which is a shame. "Johnny is Dead" is a great song BTW.   The Killers-Day and Age-Not as fun as Hot Fuss, but better than Sam's Town, it at least sees them remembering "hey, we're a dance band that's supposed to be disposable fun." The single suck, and Brandon Flowers still can't write lyrics for shit, but oh well. Hardly an album of the year, but not terrible either. File it under the same category as Hot Fuss-a guilty pleasure-and you got something.   Re Up Gang-Clipse Presents the Re Up Gang and We Got it For Cheap Vol. 3-The official first Re Up Gang album is pretty unspectacular, though the We Got it For Cheap Vol. 3 mixtape, while not as awesome as the last one, is awesome none the less, and a fave on my IPod.   Ad.ver.sary-Bone Music-Definately one of the most slept on albums of the year, this is the best industrial album of the year.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

20 Best Metal albums (2000-2008)

20.) Deathspell Omega-Fas - Ite, Maledicti, in Ignem Aeternum (2007) 19.) Caina-Mourner (2007) 18.) Weakling-Dead as Dreams (2000) 17.) The Angelic Process-Weighing Souls With Sand (2007) 16.) Amesoeurs-Ruines Humaines (2006) / Blut Aus Nord-The Work Which Transforms God (2004) (tie) 15.) Nachtmystium-Assasins: Black Meddle Pt. 1 (2008) 14.) Wolves in the Throne Room-Two Hunters (2007) 13.) Origin-Antithesis (2008) 12.) Agalloch-Ashes Against the Grain (2006) 11.) Mastodon-Blood Mountain (2006) 10.) Katatonia-Last Fair Deal Gone Down (2001) 9.) Drudkh-Autumn Aurora (2004) 8.) Nile-In Their Darkened Shrines (2002) 7.) Artcturus-The Sham Mirrors (2002) 6.) Isis-Oceanic (2002)/Opeth-Blackwater Park (tie) 5.) Sleep-Dopesmoker (2003) 4.) Jesu-Jesu (2005) 3.) Mastodon-Leviathan (2004) 2.) Agalloch-The Mantle (2002) 1.) Electric Wizard-Dopethtone (2000)
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

2008 Music Year in Review

Best Hip Hop   6.) Why?-Alopecia 5.) Wale-The Mixtape About Nothing 4.) Flying Lotus-Los Angeles 3.) Re-Up Gang-We Got it For Cheap Vol. 3 2.) The Cool Kids-The Bake Sale EP 1.) Q-Tip-The Renaissance   Best Rock   6.) Caina-Temporary Antennae 5.) Celestial Sea-Deep Inside The Cold 4.) Spiritualized-Songs in A & E 3.) Earth-The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull 2.) Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds-Dig Lazerus! Dig! 1.) TV On the Radio-Dear Science   Best Electronic   7.) Hercules and Love Affair-Hercules and Love Affair 6.) Cut Copy-In Ghost Colors 5.) Ad.ver.sary-Bone Music 4.) Flying Lotus-Los Angeles 3.) DJ / Rupture-Uproot 2.) The Bug-London Zoo 1.) Portishead-Third   Best Metal   10.) Metallica-Death Magnetic 9.) Boris-Smile 8.) Scar Symmetry-Holographic Universe 7.) Made Out Of Babies-The Ruiner 6.) Velnias-Soverign Nocturnal 5.) Cynic-Traced in Air 4.) Darkspace-Darkspace III 3.) Gates of Slumber-Conquerer 2.) Nachtmystium-Assassins: Black Meddle Pt. 1 1.) Origin-Antithesis   Compilation of the year   Basic Channel-BCD 2 Overrated   Lil Wayne-The Carter III Krallice-Krallice Underrated   Velnias-Soverign Nocturnal Caina-Temporary Antennae Ad.ver.sary-Bone Music Celestial Sea-Deep Inside The Cold   Worst Album   Cryptopsy-The King Beneath
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Worst (and most annoying) People of '08

Not posters, people.   Wost Overall: Rod Blagojevich-It's all pretty obvious really. Trying to sell Obama's seat is one thing, and so is corruption, and that hair which makes him look like a giant Lego figurine, but witholding money from a fucking Children's hospital is another.   Rush Limbaugh-From racist comments, "Operation Chaos", and saying "COLIN POWELL ONLY SUPPORTS OBAMA CUZ HEZ BLACK LOL!", Rush contimues to make my blood boil.   Alex Jones and the 9/11 Truth Moviement-Also file under "why won't they go away" These idiots, no matter how many times they are proven wrong, no matter how many times science, common sense, and logic disproves them, continue to cling to straws, It's like arguing with a kid who just sticks their fingers in their ears and says "LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING!" Even Bill Clinton called them out.   Ron Paul Fans-The most annoying political supporters don't go to McCain, or to Obama-they go to Ron Paul. Picking up truthers, white supremacists, dumb anarchist kids, dumb teenagers, frat boys, socialists, hippies-they all flocked in. I hate them.   Lifetime Achievement Award-Robert Mugabe-As much as I dislike Bush, he ain't got shit on this motherfucker. Really. He earned it in a way. This is pure evil incarnate people.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Best and Worst of TSM 2008

Best Poster-Agent of Oblivion. Honerable mention goes to Slayer, Venkman, Czech, Kamala, and Cheech.   Worst Poster-Tie between Marvin and the now banned Deon. Honerable mention goes to Marney, Superjerk, Chazz, Matt Young, Canadian Dragon, Taiga, cabbageboy, DarKnight, JPopStarKatsumi, kanerulesfan, Enigma, and Brody.   Best Thread-I Banned Choken One. Sure, Hawk 34 didn't deserve to be banned, but it lead to an excellent meltdown from Matt Young. Honerable mention goes to the Metal thread, where I was introduced to the likes of Paradise Lost, and talked about metal woth others. Nice to see other fans of Death.   Worst Thread-Campaign 2008. Oh yeah, I started it, but I had no idea it would lead to this: Marney's return (complete with racism and xenophobia), Marvin becoming even more annoying (yes, it was possible), Superjerk's not so well hidden issues with women and "Obama will fix everything" attitude, the liberal echo chamber growing louder, NoCalMike being an idiot-the list goes on. Honerable mention goes to this, where Marney got banned after she practically asked to be, and more happened, and the Guns n' Roses thread, which featured an ever annoying Jaxl and UYI. Hey Jaxl: 1.) Nobody but you and UYI gives a shit about Axl Rose, and 2.) Go back to telling stories about your life.   Not as Bad-EHME and The Truthiness, who don't annoy me that much these days.   Still Sucks-Marvin, who brought his act to new lows this year. Superjerk meanwhile, sucked up to Obama far too much, making me embarressed to like Obama. Chazz contines to be Chazz, Deon was finally banned, thank God, Enigma is still a mouthbreather, and Brody, who other than being a deviant, also pointlessly bumped threads (much like Deon and VanHalen, yet he doesn't get shit over it), posts unfunny pictues, and generally is not a good poster. Why people like him other than his off board antics is beyond me.   Favorite Post I Made (aka self fellatio)-Saying Taiga looks like Penn Jillette as a Post Op Tranny.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

SHOCKING NEWS!!!!

Go away Enigma. Nobody likes you. Nobody cares about whatever useless newsbit you just got from The Observer. Nobody wants to see your long haired mug everytime you post. In fact, nobody likes it when you post. Just stop posting. Nobody will miss you. I doubt that even much of the WWE folder likes you that much. Nobody cares that some arena got torn down, or that Michael Cole turned 40, or whatever. Just stop it. Oh, and how do you know what gay smells like? "I smell a little bit of "the gay" around here is one of the worst things said on this board.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

RIP Marney

Apparently, she's dead. I never agreed with her on hardly anything, but she didn't deserve to die, especially that way. RIP Marney.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

WWE Cuts

Well, the economy is has seen better days, and employees are being fired and fucked in the ass (metaphorically speaking) on a regular basis. WWE is no different, so you know what that means-Talent Cuts!   D'Lo Brown-Poor guy was never given a chance. He returns, only for nobody to recognize him. He goes nowhere, and hets fired. Why was he rehired again?   Bam Neely-He was on ECW. I never had time to watch the show, so I'm sorry, I don't know how to react.   Val Venis-First of all, whoever started the "Not Val Venis!" joke is an idiot. That joke was never funny. Second of all, I guess after all those years of not picking up the phone, he finally did it. I'm amazed he was employed as long as he was too. He'll porobably go to the Japanese promotions now (it would probably be a good idea), or try to get Ron Paul in the White house by 2012.   Tim White-Well, he finally has a reason to commit suicide in real life.   Kevin Thorn-Who? Oh yeah, the dude who played Mordeci.   Gavin Spears   Mike Kruel
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Heh.

Heh.   Heh.     Yeah, I'm in a good mood. Don't like it? Fine, don't respond. Hell, go to another blog if you don't like it. Bush is out of office, and I couldn't be happier. For years, i've had to hear "you whiney liberals LOL" whenever expressing displeasure with Bush or the way he ran things. Now I don't have too. Will Obama fuck up? Probably, but for now, I'm in a good mood.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

The Dunwich Horror

Dunwich child
you know not your fathers name
dope numbs the pain
ascend dark wooded hills to kane
your mothers witches
burnt at the stake for sorcery
you were conceived
upon the altar, rites obscene

child of Dunwich rise
you have your fathers eyes
child of Dunwich rise
end the world that you despise

Dunwich child,
of whispered past now they'll learn
high on the hill
black clouds gather, now they'll burn
bay at the stars
why was I born at all?
hear voices of doom
from other world your fathers call

our time has come
the end has begun.....
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

A Day in the Blagojevich Trial

Well, at least when he starts showing up   .9:30-Blagojevich enters building   .9:45-Jesse Jackson's kid comments on accusations while under oath. He begins to speak like his father, saying "I wanna cut (Rod's) nuts off."   .10:00-Blagojevich saddened when he learns Sifl and Olly can't be a part of his defense team-and that they are fictional characters.   .10:25-Blagojevich tries to defend his "Harry Potter" slash fan fiction.   .10:35-Blagojevich and prosecutors come to agreement that "Blagosphere" is one of the most retarded things ever to be uttered by the news media.   .10:55-Blagojevich compares self to The GZA.   .11:30-Judge giggles and titters like a schoolgirl when he discovers Zach Effron is one of the prosecutors.   .11:45-Awkward moment in which Rahm Emanuel says he can still smell wife on his index and middle fingers.   .11:50-Things become more awkward when someone says they "smell a little bit of the gay around here." Enigma is then expelled from the building. Sadly, he still posts at TSM.   .12:00-Lunchbreak! Today it's Dominos. Rahm's wife thinks it's too much like wet cardboard with cheese and Pizzasauce.   .1:00-Trial resumes.   .1:45-Illinois Senator Dick Durbin tells us us of his anger over "The Wrestler" and "The Dark Knight" not being nominated for best picture.   .2:15-Robert Byrd shows up for no reason-it happens from time to time.   .2:50-Burris says something about a "serial pillist"   .3:15-Harry Reid disagrees with Blagojevich's "National Jingus Sucks Week" initiative. Nation mourns.   .3:50-Senate confused when Blagojevich says "she rolled on my dick like an ectasy pill."   .4:00-Trial ends for the day.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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