Here are the parameters. I have put no research into how I think all 32 teams will fare this year. It's the NFL: who the hell knows what will happen. I've heard a few headlines dealing with team issues, but other than that I have no clue who went where in the off-season. So with that in mind, let the predictions begin.
AFC EAST
Miami played well in the second half of last season, and many people are talking about this being the year for them to take the division. That is certainly possible, what with the free-agent losses the Pats faced in the off-season. However, I usually go by the rule of putting the champ on top until they get de-throned, and I will do so with the Patriots. I have the Jets at number three and the Bills at number four just because.
AFC NORTH
I have no clue what's going to happen here. These top three teams are interchangeable, and who knows what Cleveland is going to do this year. I have Shittsburgh up at the top for the same reason I have New England winning the AFC North. (EDIT: haha PK. Faggot.) For the last few years I've been hearing about how dangerous Baltimore can be, and this year I'm actually taking this hype somewhat seriously with McNair coming over from the Titans. I hear Cincinnati has a tough schedule, and with Palmer's health issues along with the off-season troubles some of their players have been experiencing, I have to put them at third. Cleveland is in last place because, well, it's Cleveland.
AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis lost Edgerrin James but they're still going to be good and win this division. I think that window of opportunity for a Super Bowl win is close to being shut for them. Jacksonville is a nice second-place team. I'm pulling for Houston because I'm already tired of the OMG THEY DIDN'T DRAFT REGGIE BUSH LOL MARIO WILLIAMS ONE-AND-A-HALF-TACKLES talk. I have no idea what's going on with Tennessee, although I think it's funny they have LenDale White and Vince Young on the same roster.
AFC WEST
Much like the AFC North, I have no idea what's going to happen here. Oakland is in last place because they are in a division with three good teams. San Diego is in third place because they have the most potential to sputter out of the gate and call it a season early, what with the unproven Rivers as their starting quarterback. Kansas City is in second place because I like their running game and that defense has to be better than previous years. I have Denver in first just because I've been hearing too much hype about the Chiefs being the "surprise" team of the league, which really isn't much of a surprise considering they just missed the playoffs with a 10-6 record last year. Preseason hype tends to shoot up a red flag for me.
That's all for the AFC. Tomorrow I will evaluate the NFC for a minute or two with my uninformed opinions.
• Poor Kobe Bryant. First he didn’t like sharing the ball with a future hall of famer, and now he wants a better supporting cast.
I used to be a Kobe fan (well maybe not a fan, but I had no problem with him) back when he played alongside Shaq, but when this duo split up the line was drawn in the sand: you were either with O’Neal or Bryant. I chose the former. Don’t know why. Maybe it’s because Shaqueille has made several thuggish ruggish rap albums. Yeah, that’s got to be it. In honor of this, I got Shaq Diesel playing now.
I’ll treat you like Spielberg/you get Jur-ass kicked in the park.
Yes, it’s going to be one of these entries.
I don’t get why anyone wouldn’t be able to work with a teammate that could win championship ring after championship ring. Then again, I’m not a pro athlete so what do I know about the pressures of making millions of dollars for playing basketball? If I had to share a locker shower room with O’Neal, I’d probably be pissed off, too. And for the record, I don't think Kobe raped that Colorado chick. But it serves him right for fucking around with those white girls.
My Ford Explorer boomin' with the clumped-up funk,
all you jealous punks can't stop my dunks,
they're brand new like Heavy,
built like Chevy, Impala,
but Shaq's a smooth balla,
(yeah, but what about rhymin?)
I can hold my own,
knick-knack shaq-attack, give a dog a bone.
Not even...
About to get busy like Gomer Pyle
...can compete with that one.
• Hey, W. might use the ol’ veto pen again.
I said it before and I’ll say it again. Fuck hate crimes. If some black guy calls me a no-good cracker while jacking me for my scrillia scratch, I want him to get the same punishment as he wouldn’t have said anything. Of course, I’d want the person to be hung from a tree. Wait a second, that might appear RACIST. How about hanging from a telephone pole? Yeah, that’ll work.
• Woah woah woah.
Five years. $40 million. Don Imus would have made EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR?!
• Why in the bloody hell is this even a story?
OK, the last part here is worth the newsprint/bandwidth.
11:15 p.m.
• I just saw some special on the History Channel concerning Star Wars. I’m surprised they lasted 90 minutes before talking about the “If you’re not with me then you’re against me” line with a similar phrase a very powerful head of State used back in 2001. However, my WTF moment came at the very end with NANCY PELOSI talking about how we all need to come together, or some other gag-worthy line. I couldn’t clearly hear what she said because I was too busy yelling, “Oh what the fuck is this shit?” Now one can say, “But kkk they also had Newt Gingrich on doing commentary. Yes, however, like him or not, Newt is an historian. Besides, there were plenty of commie commentators *cough*Dan Rather*cough*. Although it was weird to see Steven Colbert acting like his normal self. Actually, I was surprised there weren’t more “Bush=Palpatine” references. Such a pity, considering Palpatine’s my freakin’ hero.
• Regarding the Memorial Day event. It was what it was. And next year I’m steering clear from the hot dogs. I can’t wait to experience the mess they will provide once I shit these lips and assholes out. And regarding Macys: one meat tenderizer, some automatic scrubber thingy and two pillows. The light thingys were not recommended by the cashier, who said her father got them and claimed they were pieces of shit. Now that’s customer service.
10:30 a.m.
• Well today is going to be a real two-fer for me. First I have to head over to the white trash family Memorial Day picnic so I can see what my tax dollars are paying for in regards to the newsest home improvements at my aunt-in-law’s house. Oh why did she have to come to my wedding? If she didn’t, I would have a lifetime excuse for not going to this thing. Last year we played some Bingo-type game, and I spelled out “Help Me” with my chips. If you’ve seen those “Blue Collar” movies, you might remember Foxworthy doing a bit about going to family reunions – well, this is my chance to tell the better half on the way home, “that little one ain’t right.” And it’s true. That little one from the one family isn’t right. And there's another family that attends this function and appears somewhat normal. Well, this past year Mrs. kkk found out that the wife has been cheating on her husband for years and tried to get the matriarch of this sterile Mexican household to take part in a three-some with them. But if this isn’t bad enough (and it's awfully hard to top that visual of a three-way), I have to go to another place I almost hate going to as much as I do family cookouts.
Macy's.
Seriously, who shops at this place; have you seen their prices? I’m the first one to admit I’m a cheap bastard, but stop into your nearest Macy's and decide for yourself if you’d spend any of your money at this place. Why do I have to go here? Two years ago my idiot mother bought some lingerie for the better half as a wedding present. Uh, mom, Mrs. kkk and I have fucked before getting hitched. There’s nothing new there. I’m not a lingerie person. What’s the point? OK, so you’re wearing some naughty silk thingy. Now take it off. Big deal. Well, the better half didn’t want this gift either – she said it had something to do with my mom buying sex-related gifts for her. Works for me. So we went to return it and found out that this stuff cost one hundred twenty dollars!
Anyway, we got the gift card and was informed that we would have until 5/31/07 to use it. Well, 5/31 is quickly approaching and we still have $50-60 left on it. So far this year whenever there has been a sales event (New Year’s, Presidents Day, Easter, etc.) we would include Macy's on our list of stores to visit. Problem is, I’m looking for somewhat decent buys, and Macy's, well, lacks this aspect of shopping – at least for the kkk household. The last time we bought shit at this place, we purchased, all on sale, a quesadilla maker, some pans and this magnet that shows a bunch of measurement conversions. Please note that when I say “on sale” this means “regular price at Target.” So what will be purchased in this last desperate attempt to redeem my idiot mother’s wedding gift from almost two years ago? Well, those Quik Brite LED Lights are on sale for $15 (notice that on Amazon they are $12). That’s a start.
It is common for professional athletes to get labeled by many in our society of being greedy, spoiled and out of touch, but I am generally not one of those people who will make these accusations. After all, if you are one of the chosen few blessed to play a professional sport, your shelf life as a pro athlete is extremely limited (especially if you play in the NFL), so you better get your money while you can. Or should I say get what money you can after taxes and various fees to player unions, agents and publicists?
While I don’t fault athletes for earning their hefty paychecks, there are some things that remain a mystery to me. For example, I don’t understand how someone can leave a winning team and head to losing team for not that much more money. Nobody can fault a top rookie or second-year phenom for jumping ship if they are with a team that is offering $500,000 per year when a team in a larger market is willing to pony up $5 million per year for their services. However, if you are an established name and on a team that is contending for a championship, why move away from that franchise and be a little richer but much more miserable?
One example of this happening was when Bobby Bonilla left the Shittsburgh Pirates after the 1991 season and headed over to the New York Mets. After going to the playoffs for two consecutive years in Shittsburgh, Bonilla turned down a multi-million dollar contract (if memory serves, it was around $4-4.5 million/year) and went to the Mets for about $6 million per year. As a kid, I didn’t understand why Bonilla left the Pirates, who were still considered contenders at the time by many, to go to a Mets franchise that was struggling below .500. Now that I’m older, I can sympathize with him wanting to go to a larger market where there would be greater opportunitiesto make more money, but I still don’t agree with the move. If the Pirates had gone through a 100-game losing season, then I could understand him wanting to leave and go to team with a better chance of winning. But this wasn’t the case. Bonilla was already a millionaire, and unlike football, baseball contracts are guaranteed. So even if he sustained a career-ending injury during that next year’s spring training, Bonilla would still have earned enough money to live comfortably for several lifetimes.
The funny thing about this whole situation is that for 1992, Bonilla’s first year in New York, the Pirates won their division for the third straight year and was one only out away from reaching the World Series. The Mets meanwhile stayed near the bottom of the NL East. Although as a kid I enjoyed watching the Pirates win during that summer of ‘92, I enjoyed even more the articles I read about Bonilla and his miserable stay with the Mets where at one point he had to wear earplugs to drown out the boos from the New York crowds. Was that extra million or so worth hating your job? Only Bonilla can answer that question, but I know I would rather stay with a contending team and be cheered on by the hometown fans than be mercilessly booed in a new city. (Sadly, Bonilla would go on to win a Series ring with the Florida Marlins.)
While I am on this subject, another athlete whose actions I don’t understand is Kobe Bryant. It’s true he wasn’t best friends with former teammate Shaquille O’Neal, but they were civil enough to each other to win three NBA championships. However, winning wasn’t enough for Bryant, and as a result the Lakers traded O’Neal to the Miami Heat. Now Bryant is the main man for a mediocre Laker team.
Ever since Bryant got his wish, he has piled up great personal stats, including recently putting up 81 points against the Toronto Raptors. But aside from a scoring title or some other individual achievement, this is all the glory Bryant will see for the time being. I was watching last night’s game the Lakers had with the Pistons, who are the quintessential “team” in the NBA, and the Lakers got clobbered 102-93. During the game I saw a sign held by a fan that pretty much shows the difference between someone like Bryant and a team like Pistons. The sign read “Bryant: 37 points; Pistons: 37 wins.”
Enjoy these big games, Kobe, because the best your team can hope for is an early-round exit from the playoffs, if you are even lucky enough to get into the postseason.
If you’re a fan of RIGHT-WING RADIO, then this is the place for you. If not, I'm sure there's an Air America station within 1,000 miles or so of your residence.
Talkers magazine recently released its list of top hosts for 2006. Now, from what I seem to remember, previous lists used to just have the top 100 hosts in a random order. Well now the list appears to have these people ranked in order of importance or some shit. Also, they increased the list to 250 and separated hosts by subject matter. Cool
Even though I have listened to RIGHT-WING RADIO since 1994, there’s no way I know every one of these people, but there are a number on this list that I have heard to over the years or feel like commenting on. Time to go down the list:
• Howard Stern is number one? Eh, I’ll accept it, even though I haven’t listened to him in years. I’ve talked about him recently, so I’ll refrain from repeating my opinion of him. I guess the whole move to satellite radio is one of the driving reasons for him to be at the top for this year.
• Rush, Hannity and Savage are 2-4, no surprises there.
• Dr. Laura is number 5? In every market I have had her in, she has either been cancelled or moved around to several different time slots. She’s not on in the Shittsburgh market (although she made a brief appearance back in the mid-90s). I liked her show, but it wasn’t because of her moral preaching. I always loved it when the idiot callers would ask for her opinion on their relationship problems. You could tell these callers had already made up their minds regarding what they wanted to do in their relationship, and it was always the opposite of what a rational person would do.
“Dr. Laura, my husband beats me, does drugs in front of my three kids from a previous boyfriend and stays out all night.”
“Why haven’t you had him arrested?”
“Because I love him.”
“You’re an idiot.”
It’s like the Maurey Povich Show for radio.
• Don Imus is number 6 – did I miss something here? I’ve listened to him a few times on MSNBC when I have stayed up all night and needed some sleep relief.
• For the love of God, Laura Inghram does not deserve to be number 7. My area carriers some of her show in the early morning, and the few times I listened to her show it was so unfunny, not to mention tedious.
• Mike Gallagher is number 8 – I guess he’s doing well. When I got to listen to him, he wasn’t one of my favorites. In fact, I’d put him on the bottom tier of my preferred RIGHT-WING RADIO hosts. However, I do like him for other reasons, which I will explain below. Back in the late 1990s I listened to him in the Sappy Valley market. At the time he had a chat room where fans could go to and gab while the show was on. The cool thing about this was if someone made a witty comment to a topic he was discussing he would say it on-air and name the person who said it. Well, obviously if I’m making real-time comments to a RIGHT-WING RADIO show, my remarks would undoubtedly make it on the air, which they did. However, he didn’t know what my user name “kkktookmybabyaway” meant; it was funny listening to him goof on the name to his nationwide audience. One time, however, after saying my name (and prefacing it with he had no idea why I called myself this) he got a caller that explained it’s meaning. As it turns out Gallagher was a Ramones fan but he never heard that song, which has me questioning whether or not he really was a fan to begin with.
Here’s another story about Mike. He was originally on the “main” Sappy Valley RIGHT-WING RADIO station in the area, and this station sucked. (I could spend a week bitching about this station, and at some point I probably will.) Not only would this station always lose its feeds, but also it would play shows from other networks, among other technical screw-ups. Well one time after Gallagher’s show ended, they stayed with his studio and spent about 20 minutes broadcasting him making “teasers” for his show that were sent to markets that had the show on tape delay. A few days later when he was chatting with us online after his show ended at noon, I told him about how his State College affiliate was screwing up his shows and played him reading “tape delay teasers.” A short while later his show moved to the other station in town.
• Neal Boortz cracked the Top 10. Awesome. This guy is based out of Atlanta and is by far my favorite host. I first got to listen to him on WPGB in the Shittsburgh area back in early 2004 when the station switched from urban music to a RIGHT-WING RADIO format. He was on tape delay from 1-3 p.m., and many times I would listen to his show over Rush’s. Unfortunately, when Rush’s show moved from KDKA to WPGB, Boortz got bumped. However, a smaller talk station in the area (WPTT) picked up his show, but only for a while. A short time later WPTT took him off the air because they were going with a more “independent” lineup. Some local harpy named Lynn Cullen who is just horrid took over his time slot, and I haven’t listened to that piece of shit station since. Sadly, since my work computer is a Mac, I can’t listen to Boortz’s show on-line (or at least I haven’t figured out how). If his show would ever move to satellite radio, I’d be a subscriber.
To be continued.
• There are a lot of things in this world that piss me off, but in the grand scheme of things most of these things are nothing I lose sleep over. However, there are a few things that truly get me mad. One of them is when a police officer is involved in a shooting, and some shitbag lawyer or ACLU-type bitch complains that the cop had to shoot and kill the suspect. Usually, their reasoning is, “Well couldn’t the officer have shot the person in the arm or leg?” Another thing that just angers me to no end are these high-speed police chases. On Wednesday the FAUX NEWS REPORT (lol2006) spent half of the program broadcasting one of these pursuits taking place in California. Not only was this asshole suspected of Grand Theft Auto, but also he was going 80-90 mph in residential areas. I’m sure this asshole eventually got caught; I don’t care how great a person he was before this chase, but he should never see the light of day after trying to avoid the law and putting the lives of innocent motorists and pedestrians around him in danger. The said thing is if he would have gotten into an accident and killed someone, some people would blame the cops for chasing him. Anyone that starts one of these pursuits should be charged with attempted vehicular homicide or something for every car or pedestrian he or she passes. These people should never breath the sweet air of freedom for the rest of their miserable existence.
• This is why I hate picking games/tournament brackets/etc. I loathe the Duke Blue Devils, but I was hoping they’d win last night because I had them losing to Boston College in the Championship Game several rounds down the road in my bracket. Bastards.
• Last night I got to catch up on my video game playing. First I put in NHL ’06, where I was riding a humble one-game winning streak after losing six in a row (I’m in my first season in franchise mode, or whatever the hell it’s called). I can deal with losing, but each game I lost during this streak was by one goal, and several of them were lost in the last 20 seconds of the third period. I’m about seven points out of the playoff hunt. I’m only 20 or so games in the season, so I’m still trying to get used to the game play. However, last night I was dreading going up against the Florida Panthers, who are in first place in their division and had a 98-rated goaltender. To my surprise I won 5-3, although I almost blew a three-goal lead. (For the record, I play 5-minute periods at the hard, but not impossible, level with the penalty bar maxed out.) I’m not sure what to do with the Pens; I’m planning on dumping Sergei Gonchar before the trading deadline. He’s my best defenseman, but he’s also eating up a $5 million/year salary, and I’ll need that money to sign some of my younger players in the next year or so. I’m also torn on whether or not to trade Lemieux – I know he’s going to retire after this season, but damnit, he’s MARIO LEMIEUX! Besides, he’s the only center I have that’s any good, although Kraft does OK on the second line, especially when playing a Behind the Net offense scene. And, damnit, I’d be trading away MARIO LEMIEUX!
• After NHL ’06, I popped in Madden ’05 and lost against the Bengals for the second time this season. My running game was stuffed, although Maddox did have 370 yards passing, his best of the season so far. It was one of the more exciting games I had in recent memory, and if I have to lose a game this is the way I want to go out – 20-26 in OT. I had two chances to win in OT, but I couldn’t convert a 4th and 1 at their 38-yard line, and on my next drive I came up just short on a 53-yard FG attempt. (I recently started over with my franchise and have it at all-star setting with the penalties maxed out and 13-minute quarters.)
• Gotta love the Europeans. I guess their fans at soccer games can get a bit unruly and FIFA has issued reminders that RACISM will not be tolerated. Of course, you could always punish the FANS who are being racist shitheads, but that would require individual responsibility, and this is Europe we’re taking about after all. I don’t know much about European society, but I do know that some of their soccer enthusiasts put U.S. idiot fans to shame.
• So the city of Houston took in the evacuees of Hurricane Katrina and what do they have to show for it? A rise in crime. Thank God nobody wants to come to my city; we have enough derelicts as it is.
• Will someone please put General Motors out of my misery? It’s hard to feel bad for a company that set itself up for a huge fall when instead of cutting back and streamlining, they agreed with unions to let laid-off workers sit in these jobs banks, collecting a fat paycheck and receiving health benefits.
• So how much is it worth to find true love? Apparently $12,000 if you’re some schmoe suing eHarmony.com for not being allowed to sign up for this dating service. The reason he was turned down? He’s still married, which is a no-no, according to eHarmony. On a side note, I don’t understand why anyone would join that place. It’s not that finding love on the Internet is necessarily a bad thing (it can’t be any worse than the local bar scene), but rather because the Web site’s founder is one of the most annoying commercial spokespeople in recent memory. Also, I so want to see these testimonials from those couples they show on television a few years down the road when the shine of wedded bliss has long faded.
• I mentioned in Carnival’s blog that I have been regulating the feeding of my three cats. By giving each a quarter-cup of food in the morning and at night, I’m hoping this will prevent any health-related problems with them such as diabetes. The problem with this though is that now it’s nearly impossible to cook anything because you get overrun by felines on the hunt for food. This evening I was cooking a Lean Pocket in the oven (I can’t stand eating those things straight out of the microwave; it takes longer to bake a Pocket, but it’s worth it in the end.) and was getting a turkey sandwich prepared for a brief baking. The Lean Pocket was ready to be taken out, so I partially opened the oven door and turned back to finish putting the condiments on the sandwich. It was at this time when JJ trotted into the kitchen and began sniffing around; my guess is that he was smelling the Chicken Quesadilla Lean Pocket. I kept an eye on him and noticed that his backside began wiggling, which is always followed by a lunge/leap/charge. When I realized that he was about to jump in an oven that’s been at 350 degrees for 30 minutes, I reached for him, but I was too late. He jumped INTO THE OVEN. Fortunately, he’s not very coordinated and he only managed to get his front end onto the oven’s opening. His weight made the door fall all the way down, and I was able to get him to jump off the door completely.
When I turned around back to my sandwich, I saw Dessa (who jumped up onto the island counter -- where my sandwich was -- while I was dealing with JJ) sniffing the turkey meat that was out. As I picked her up off the island, the little bitch snagged a slice of turkey in her mouth while in mid-air and took off with it under the living room coffee table. Thank God Max was too busy looking out an opened window and didn’t get in on this action.
• Yeah, you heard me, Smitty. I’m tired of your fucking power trip. Make fun of me because I have a liking for soccer. Goof on the fact that I contribute nothing in terms of intellectual discourse to this place. However, all your “queer” jokes got thrown out the window after I read this little gem.
Napoleon Dynamite? I bought this movie for $5 last year because I heard good things about this film. And then I actually watched this piece of shit. What was the fucking point of this movie? The whole time I’m waiting for some payoff that will make the 90 minutes I spent viewing this unfunny crap worthwhile, and what do I get? Some white boy who makes me look like finalist to the show “Breakdancing with the Stars.” One reason I do not trade in movies, CDs or video games that I purchase is because I always say to myself there will that time in the future when I’ll feel like watching/listening/playing this forgettable purchase. Napoleon Dynamite is really making me take a long, hard look at this policy. And this is coming from someone who has purchased (and still has!) Shaq Fu: The Return.
• OK, I feel for people who fall onto hard times, but there’s a difference between “hard times” and “being an idiot.” I was reading Sunday’s local newspaper, and there was this article about how more people are getting their homes foreclosed (damn you George W. Bush and your tax cuts for the rich). The reasons? Well, there are layoffs. I’ll buy that one. Cost of utilities? OK, now you’re starting to lose me. If you can’t afford a rise in your electric bill or afford gas that’s a dollar or two more per gallon than it was a few years ago, then you certainly can’t afford, and shouldn't have purchased, a $100,000+ house. However, what made me outright yell at this article was the following:
Well no fucking shit. Anyone that gets an adjustable rate mortgage has no reason to bitch when interest rates go up and you have to pay more for your mortgage payments. That’s the whole point of an adjustable-rate mortgage; to fuck you over when interest rates increase. If I ever was put in the situation of having an adjustable rate, I’d sure as fuck be aware of when my rate would increase. It’s bad enough property and school taxes constantly get increased; you don’t need the biggest purchase of your life to drastically fluctuate in cost due to a tweak of a percentage point or two.
It got even better. Just below this article was one by columnist Jeff Brown of the Philadelphia Inquirer talking about the risks of adjustable rate mortgages. In his second paragraph, he says that more people than ever are applying for adjustable-rate mortgages. I guess this means that in another year or two, we’ll hear about how the wretched economy is kicking people out of their homes when in fact these people did it to themselves. I also bet these people bought SUVs, only to bitch when the cost of gasoline rises.
• Because I wake up at the BUTT crack of dawn for work, I normally don’t get to watch sporting events that take place past 10 p.m. However, several times this NBA season I got to watch the Finals on replay early in the morning. But this I don’t get: ESPN cuts the running time of the previous night’s Finals game because of time constraints. Understandable. But what don’t they cut? The 20 minutes spent taking time-outs at the end of a close game. Can’t we skip the sideline huddles and watch more on-the-court action; even it wasn’t taking place during the last minute of a game?
• So the weather is nice outside, and that means the groundhog that lives under my shed is starting to venture out, much to the dismay of my next-door neighbor, some old guy named Steve. He doesn’t care too much for the groundhog because he has this mini-garden in which I guess the groundhog helps himself to every now and then. When I first moved here in 2004 Steve told me that there used to be another groundhog living in my yard, along with some baby groundhogs. After successfully catching the female groundhog in some cage trap, he killed it and took the babies out to some field. Now I like Steve and all, but he seemed taken aback when I replied, “Why did you have to do that for?” Seriously, what was the point of letting out some baby groundhogs after you killed their mother? I could understand leaving them all out in a field, but you pretty much gave the younglings a death sentence. This may be the hippie inside of me speaking, but why whenever we’re inconvenienced in the slighted by some animal just trying to survive there’s this inclination to kill? If only we could be that flexible with the human race. A while back I talked about this in a TSM thread, and my opinions on this matter haven’t changed; in fact, they probably got worse in regards to my feelings on the human race. Here's what I said:
As for the male groundhog, I saw him out yesterday afternoon munching on some grass, walking right by the trap Steve has laid out for him, which is on my property. I doubt he’ll go into that contraption, seeing what it did to his former shed-mates. However, if I ever do see him in that cage, he's going to be released, not killed.
• So before this years’ NFL draft there was talk around Shittsburgh about getting Lendell White from USC with the Steelers’ first-round pick. However, the problem was, at least to all the so-called “experts” around these here parts, that White came with some personal baggage (or something of that nature; I don't know this player so I'm just repeating what was said around here). So with their first pick, Shittsburgh picked some receiver from Ohio State. And what does this guy do over the Father’s Day weekend? Why, he gets arrested for domestic violence. I’m sure a contemporary, understanding family like the Rooneys will understand the hardships of today’s NFL players. Contract talks should be more interesting; at least this got Big Ben’s motorcycle accident off the front page for now.
• Speaking of Pennsylvania, I heard that the Speaker of the House who helped organize some bitch-ass legislator pay raise a year or so ago held a recent news conference. He defended this raise, which took place in the middle of the night, by saying that cow milkers in one county made $55,000/year. This article went on to say that the average Pennsylvania wage was $38,000 in 2005. However, even if a cow milker did make $55,000 – so fucking what? You bitches in Harrisburg make more than $70,000/year, and this doesn’t include the per diems, free vehicles, mileage, and other perks. Oh, and this line made me laugh, too.
Once again, so fucking what? If that tattoo shop owner provides a service that his customers appreciate, runs his business, pays his taxes, and makes a nice profit from this profession, then more power to him (or her). What has the Pennsylvania legislature done, besides raise my taxes? Faggot-ass bitches.
Here's another gem this asshole said:
If my state representative can’t make do on $70k/year, then I sure as hell don’t want him to oversee fiscal responsibility of the ENTIRE STATE. Then again, maybe this is just on-the-job training for a Congressional or Senate campaign.
All good things must come to an end, and around this time every year a little piece of me dies inside because the NBA and NHL playoffs conclude. This year had both leagues experience exciting match-ups, even in their respective final rounds. Normally, after the first two rounds of each league's playoffs, I tend to tune in and out for the rest of their seasons. This year, however, was different.
NHL: Like I said in a previous entry, this was one contest where I didn't know who to cheer for when it came to the Stanley Cup Finals. There were a number of Hurricane players that I remember from my childhood, but how can you not cheer for the low seed that scratched and clawed its way to a Finals berth? I think in the end I was pulling for the Hurricanes to take this one. Edmonton did themselves in by having their goalie Dwayne Roloson hurt during Game 1. For all those that want to put the blame on the backup goalie who made that puck-handling blunder late in Game 1, I say leave him alone. God knows when he saw any real ice time before that, and they expected him to take a close Game 1 in stride? If blame is to be laid anywhere, it's that Oilers player that knocked an opponent into Roloson, knocking him out for the rest of the Finals. After that "gimmie" win, the Oilers gave Game 2 away as well. However, you have to hand it to Edmonton -- most teams would have just packed their things and went home. To dig out of a 0-2 deficit and take the series to seven games says a lot about the character of that team. However, like I said before, in the end it was nice to know that Rod Brind’Amour and Glen Wesley finally got to lift the Stanley Cup up, especially Wesley. Back in the '90s I was a Bruins fan and felt bad seeing him and Ray Bourque always come up short. When Bourque finally won with Colorado, all that was left was for Wesley to get the chance to give Lord Stanley a smooch.
NBA: I'm not sure what was more remarkable -- the Heat winning three on their home court and going on to best Dallas in Game 6, or the Mavericks coming two and three-quarters games away from taking a commanding 3-0 series lead only to crash and burn. I wasn't sure which team was going to win Game 6 at first. Dallas had the upper hand midway through the second quarter, but then I got up to scoop some litter boxes. When I returned the Heat were leading by a point. It was then, with a plastic bag filled with soiled clumpable litter that I knew the Heat were going to win their first championship later that night. However, the real highlight of this series came when Mavericks owner Mark Cuban was answering questions from the media after a loss. One reporter asked him if this is the worst loss he ever experienced and Cuban responded by saying something like, "No, one time in my Pee-Wee league we lost a game with two seconds left." Like Cuban or not, that's a great answer. I'm not sure what to make of this guy; some people like him because he's different from just about every pro sports owner out there -- others think he's full of shit and needs to check himself before he wrecks himself. While I'm sure he's a phony in some aspects of his public image, I'd rather have him signing paychecks to a team than Bill Bidwell of the Arizona Cardinals or Donald Sterling of the Clippers.
See both of you leagues next year.
9:30 p.m.
• I forgot all about Major League Baseball's Hall of Fame voting results being today. Oops. I was going to do a candidate-by-candidate review of their respective careers, awards, win-shares and all that other stuff, but who really reads all that shit anyway? Instead, here is Al kkkeiper's voting ballot for this year's Hall of Fame wanna-bes.
1) Harold Baines -- No.
2) Albert Belle -- No.
3) Dante Bichette -- No.
4) Bert Blyleven -- No.
5) Bobby Bonilla -- Fuck No.
5) Scott Brosius -- No.
6) Jay Buhner -- No.
7) Ken Caminiti -- No. This guy was one of my favorite players when he was still in the game. I remember him breaking down on Jim Rome's show. It's a shame he died, but he brought it on himself, so fuck him.
8) Jose Canseco -- No. For some reason I've been liking this guy more and more. When he wrote that book a bunch of people dissed him for being a rat, but as it turns out, it looks like he was more spot on than first thought. Why shouldn't he make a quick buck naming names? The roided up players did much worse for their paychecks.
9) Dave Concepcion -- Hmm, no. This is an interesting candidate because being from Shittsburgh this guy gets compared a lot to Bill Mazerowski, who recently got in the Hall. Both were great fielders, but weren't anything special at the plate, unless it was Game 7 of the 1960 World Series.
10) Eric Davis -- No.
11) Andre Dawson -- Had to think about this one for a second. Err, no.
12) Tony Fernandez -- No.
13) Steve Garvey -- I'm leaning toward yes, but I think that's just because of the name recognition. I'm sure his stats will say otherwise.
14) Rich Gossage -- No.
15) Tony Gwynn -- Yes. One of my favorite all-time players. I like him even more now that I heard a clip on ESPN this evening in which he said that he's "sweating like a slave" while talking about his recent induction. Uh oh.
I never saw Tony Gwynn sweating as a slave, ever ... ever.
Is it OK for me to go out in the hot sun and perspirate while waiting for a baseball to get hit to me in the outfield?
Why yes it is -- that's why we were brought over to this country. We could pick cotton and hit baseballs out in the sun better than all those crackas.
16) Orel Hershiser -- No.
17) Tommy John -- No.
18) Wally Joyner -- No. I remember when he came into the big leagues he was some can't-miss Hall of Famer. I guess he'll just have to settle for being a millionaire.
19) Don Mattingly -- Like Garvey, I'm leaning toward yes, because I remember those years he had in the '80s. I'm sure other people who pay attention to stats and all that shit will outvote me on this one.
20) Mark McGwire -- Fuck all the haters, I'll vote him in. Does he deserve to go? I don't know. But Major League Baseball turned a blind eye toward players roiding up in the 1990s, so deal with it. I heard on Mike and Mike this morning that some sportswriter from Illinois turned in a blank ballot because he can't vote on any players from the "steroid age" or something like that. Get off your high horse. If you don't want to make a statement, give your ballot to someone else. Asshole.
21) Jack Morris -- Hmm, another one that gave me pause. He's probably not deserving, but I'll put him ahead of Garvey and Mattingly.
22) Dale Murphy -- I remember him from the Braves back in the 1980s. If he didn't get in by now he never will.
23) Paul O'Neill -- No, although I liked him as a player.
24) Dave Parker -- No.
25) Jim Rice -- No.
26) Cal Ripken Jr. -- What am I going to say here? Of course. I remember during his final years he wasn't all that productive, but whatever.
27) Bret Saberhagen -- No.
28) Lee Smith -- I dunno. I have no idea. Might as well ask that pseudo-baseball expert who stole my when-I'm-talking-about-baseball name via AIM.
Nice answer Al kerry. I'll say yes out of spite.
29) Alan Trammell -- No, although I remember him and Lou Whitaker being a long-time tandem in Detroit..
30) Devon White -- No.
31) Bobby Witt -- I thought he was still playing.
Regarding my Concepcion comment above, here is what I said about Bill Mazeroski's induction back in March of 2001.
11:30 a.m.
• Wow, what an incredible BcS game last night. Congratulations are in order to Boise State for being the only undefeated team in Division 1 College football. Wait a second, Boise State is not the top team in college football? But I thought all the non-playoff talking heads on television said the NCAA regular season is like one big playoff! Boise State is the only undefeated team in college’s top division. So then it’s only natural that they should be ranked first overall. And people wonder why I don’t give a shit about college football.
• I was driving home from work yesterday when a van in front of me had the following bumper sticker: “This vehicle was paid for by Union wages!” Uh, ok. So my scab money won’t be accepted by the local car dealership the next time I need to purchase a vehicle? Alrighty then. I wonder if the bumper sticker was also paid for by Union wages? Now that I think about it, was the bumper sticker itself created by Union labor?
• Remember my out-of-control niece’s suicide note I talked about Sunday that got in the way of my “Roadhouse” viewing? All lies. And the other times she has said that she tried to off herself? Lies. Like there was any doubt.
6 p.m.
• Well the drive home wasn’t bad at all. The roads weren’t bad, traffic was light. I was almost getting a woody until I came to this one crappy “s curve” stretch of road where there was suddenly a backup due to an accident. As I drove by I noticed two pickup trucks had collided. My guess: Someone was driving faster than they should have. This brings me to my philosophy of driving in crappy weather. Respect the elements, but don’t fear them. If you are afraid to drive when Mother Nature is dropping flakes of frozen precipitation, then DON’T LEAVE THE HOUSE. However, just because you are driving some “all terrain” vehicle, that doesn’t mean you should be acting like it’s 80 degrees and sunny. In fact, while driving home today some “yo man” (a term I use to describe someone from the “wigger” classification) in a SUV was in the midst of swerving into the left-hand lane because I was only going the speed limit and almost sideswiped a fellow motorist. After that guy laid on the horn the “yo man” went back into my lane and kept his distance. Idiot.
Well the better half is already dropping hints that she doesn’t want me going into work tomorrow. Whenever there is a forecast involving shitty weather, she always reminds me 10-12 times per hour. This is because I have the “final say” as to whether or not we are to go into work for that particular day. Is this another example of male oppression? No. She just doesn’t like making decisions herself. It’s funny because on snowy days while I’m the shower she’ll have the morning news on, ready to give me a full report on what schools/functions have been cancelled, all while not directly telling me that she just wants to go back to bed and sleep until noon. And whenever I agree with staying in she will say for the rest of the day, “Well you’re the one who wanted to stay home.” I can’t wait to see what she does if I decide to go into work should this expected freezing rain doesn’t arrive.
Ha. I just had a flashback to my 11th grade Horticultural class. Yes, I hated science and chose to go in a retard science class because I didn’t want to lean about chemicals and all that shit. No sir. I was in with all the burn-outs and vo-tech students. One of that year’s highlights was when we had a COLORING BOOK for one nine-week grading quarter. Oh the memories are now coming back to me, but for now I’ll just elaborate on the “rabbits.” The teacher for this class had a greenhouse set-up in the upper level/attic of our school, and we all went up there one day where he showed up the rabbits he had up there. He was trying to mate them, and we were to supervise them while he went and did something else. Once we opened up the divider thingy separating the male bunny from the female bunny, the male went to town. The two females in our group had a look of disgust while the dozen-plus males were laughing to the point of tears, especially when the male rabbit was humping the side of the female. Ever since that day, trying to “mate the rabbits” was an often-requested in-class assignment.
• Um, even though this really doesn’t need any comments, kkk-ommentary will be in boldface. You’ll probably guess where this started before being told in the third paragraph.
Ha. I just had a flashback to my 11th grade Horticultural class. Yes, I hated science and chose to go in a retard science class because I didn’t want to lean about chemicals and all that shit. No sir. I was in with all the burn-outs and vo-tech students. One of that year’s highlights was when we had a COLORING BOOK for one nine-week grading quarter. Oh the memories are now coming back to me, but for now I’ll just elaborate on the “rabbits.” The teacher for this class had a greenhouse set-up in the upper level/attic of our school, and we all went up there one day where he showed up the rabbits he had up there. He was trying to mate them, and we were to supervise them while he went and did something else. Once we opened up the divider thingy separating the male bunny from the female bunny, the male went to town. The two females in our group had a look of disgust while the dozen-plus males were laughing to the point of tears, especially when the male rabbit was humping the side of the female. Ever since that day, trying to “mate the rabbits” was an often-requested in-class assignment.
12:15 p.m.
• Well, now the snow is coming down full-tilt. If tonight's freezing rain predictions are correct, I doubt I'll be heading in to work tomorrow. No way I'm risking wrecking the car for just one workday's commute. Yeah, I'll do that, then fuck up my transportation situation for days, weeks even, while the car gets towed off to an auto shop. One of my life's mottos is "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Remember that, young ones. Except for The Thread Killer, who's older than me and probably already knows this as well.
8:30 a.m.
• A picture is worth a thousand words, or at least a sarcastic remark or two.
9:30 p.m.
Time for another pic of the kids.
For those that remember the picture of Max trying to pal up with Dessa on the bed, this one was taken a bit more recently. As you can clearly see by the look on her face, Dessa has really warmed up to Max in the 2+ years we've had him. It's quite amusing to watch all three of them fight over domain of the recliner.
12:15 p.m.
• Wow, even four out of the five Communists on the High Court agreed with the more conservative judges on this one.
Awww, poor baby. Hey Harris. Fuck you. I hope you remember what a dumbfuck you were every time your diaper needs to be changed.
I’ve heard the complaints from those that say these things put the public in danger, and if someone lost a family or friend because some shithead was going 80 mph in a residential area in an attempt to get away from the po-pos because he has a warrant out for his arrest, then I feel your pain. However, instead of taking it out on the cops, how about taking it out on the, oh, I don’t know, CRIMINALS? I’ve advocated for years that people who engage the cops on high-speed car chases should have an attempted murder count charged against them for every motorist they pass by.
• So I heard on the radio that the Warriors are up three games to one on the Mavericks. Now that's funny.
6:45 p.m.
• OK, so the out-of-control niece-in-law is leaving her grandmother’s crib because … well, I don’t know exactly why. She doesn’t pay rent. Doesn’t pay bills. Doesn’t do laundry. Doesn’t cook. Oh, I remember. Wait a minute, no I don’t. She’s getting a two-bedroom apartment with some other late teen/early 20ish chick who already has two kids from two different daddies. This will end nicely, and I can’t wait.
But the story gets better. My crack-whore sister-in-law? The one who squirted out the out-of-control niece 20 years ago? Well, she just won her Social Security Disability case, so now not only will she be getting a steady paycheck, but also she’ll be receiving back “pay” from when she began applying several years ago. How much is she getting, you ask.
$40,000.
That’s right. FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS.
This doesn’t surprise me. Seriously, what’s the point in trying to get ahead in life when all you have to do is get drunk every night and get addicted to any kind of drug that can be smoked, swallowed or injected? Whenever I hear liberals whine about spending cuts that “hurt the poor,” I say “good.” Remember, when you start to feel bad about EEEEEVIL Republicans wanting to take food from the mouths of innocent children and single mothers, think about my crack-whore sister-in-law and about how she “earned” $40k just for contracting hepatitis through dirty heroin needles. Yep, that’s where your tax money is going – not down the drain, but rather into her vein.
What clinched her disability was a liver biopsy which showed that on a scale from 1 to 4, with 1 being the most critical liver state and 4 being a healthy liver, she scored a 1. So instead of perusing the classifieds trying to get another job that pays a bit more than your current place of employment, instead of going back to school to get an advanced degree in hopes of landing a better-paying job, just go to the nearest crack house and fuck your body up beyond belief through your own irresponsible choices. Only then will you get to live the American dream – sitting at home with free health care and a steady paycheck.
11:45 a.m.
• Wonder if this was featured in Mikey Moore's latest film?
Boy, it's a good thing those new moms got all this at no charge thanks to Canada's FREE health care. Perhaps Mikey didn't mention this because these people were nothing but plants by the corporations.
9:15 a.m.
• Whenever I wake up in the morning, there's always at least one of our three milling around, or on, the bed.
Animals may not be as "smart" as humans, but I'd take their instincts over what's printed in textbooks during many of life's instances.
7:15 a.m.
• So I finally got around to watching “Batman Begins” last night (like I’ve said before, I don’t watch movies in the theaters all that often, so I normally wait until they come out on DVD). All I can say is … wow. Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Gary Oldman, Katie Holmes ... Morgan Freeman. Awesome stuff. I actually liked the first part of the film when more of a “backstory” was presented than when all the action took place. I’m not a big comic book guy, but Batman was one of my favorites. This of course means I had at one time a dozen or so of his comics. I didn’t see “Batman” coming out of Christian Bale (who I never heard of up to this point), but that’s not a knock on him. It’s just whenever I hear “Batman” the first image that pops into my head is Michael Keaton –– similar to how I think of Roger Moore whenever I hear the words “James Bond,” even though I always liked the Sean Connery movies better. I’m sure I’ll feel the same way when the Joker is featured in the next movie, which is what I’ve read about in the TSM Movie folder. That white-and-green bad guy will always be Jack to me.
• While I'm on the subject of movies –– que?
7:30 p.m.
• So another blogger WHOSE NAME I WILL NEVER REVEAL did this Worst *fill in the position* of all time. Now I don’t want to pee in his cornflakes (that’s something nl-asshole would do, the sick bastard), but I felt some of these stats didn’t tell the whole story. For some positions like 2B and SS I’m sure a team would allow the suckitude of a person’s OPS+ (or whatever that thing is) if the player was good defensively. Then again, I have no idea if Don Kessinger committed more errors than Hal Lanier. What, you expect me to actually look this shit up? Just how long have you been skimming through my words just to see pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt or my cats reading my stuff?
Why am I talking about this? Because I’m in a baseball mood today, baby. You see, this other blogger WHOSE IDENTITY I WILL TAKE WITH ME TO THE GRAVE decided to start a thread where you build a MLB team using your favorite club’s draftees. To my surprise, nobody decided to do the Pirates. Well, since the SBuccos are my hometown club, I’ll see what I can do with the renowned Pirate scouting system.
Ohh, there’s Barry Bonds. And Moises Alou. That’s a sure meaty heart of my lineup. Jason Kendall – I always liked him (seriously); Tim Wakefield, too.
…
uhhhh.
Who the hell is Jonathan Albaladejo?
I give up. Besides, anyone remotely good will be traded away to the Yankees or Red Sox in exchange for more prospects, who, if they are any good, will end up with the Yankees or Red Sox a few years later anyway. And the cycle starts all over again -- like welfare clans.
Why am I talking about this? Because another blogger WHOSE NAME I WILL NOT SAY EVEN IF YOU SHOVE HOT POKERS IN MY CRACK-WHORE SISTER-IN-LAW’S EAR pointed this out to me.
OMG TAXPAYER MONEY SQUANDERED. You know what, at this point I don't care. I say good for Mario. If this were one of the Marvel "Civil War" things that popped up at TSM a while back where you had to pick a side, I'd side with number 66 than any Shittsburgh public official. I've talked about this issue before and my opinion of building a new arena is a better idea than some hippie baseball stadium or field for the Stiilers. Go do a search or two and find the info yourself. I'm tired of linking up past entries.
Oh who the hell am I kidding. You all are lazy pieces of shit.
Now this part of the article is great.
She was SHOCKED. Of course this is the representative of the "Hill District." And by "Hill District" I mean "ghetto." Yeah, I bet she was SHOCKED. In fact, her reaction was probably that of an audience member of the Maury Povich show when the crowd gasps upon hearing that an upcoming guest on a show called "Out of Control Teens" does drugs and has sex. Where the hell am I going with this? No clue.
Say, this part of the article is greater.
"More competitive." Where have I heard that line before? Oh, yeah. Back in the mid-1990s when the Pirates wanted a new stadium. Why, they would move to RALEIGH if they didn't get a new stadium to be "more competitive." The Pens were horrid in the early 2000s -- they never went above 30 wins from 2001-2002 to 2005-2006, but were the Stanley Cup runner-ups last season. And they don't even have their new arena yet. The Pirates have had a new stadium since 2001. Let's see what their records have been since this cash-cow was built.
2001: 62-100
2002: 72-89
2003: 75-87
2004: 72-89
2005: 67-95
2006: 67-95
2007: 68-94
If that is "more competitive" I'd hate to see them phoning in a season.
Here's a not-as-great part of this article. Wow, Fast Eddie decided to stop by the western part of the state. Stay away you piece of shit.
Yeah, money from a slots casino that is becoming a bigger clusterfuck than I thought possible.
Read the rest of the story if you want. Long story short: this whole casino/slots stuff is a joke. But whatever, it's going to SAVE THE SHITTSBURGH REGION. Well, if it keeps most of the ghetto trash away from where I live then I say build that casino ASAP.
And I'm spent.
11:59 p.m.
• Now there was this other blogger who YOU WILL HAVE TO TWIST MY NIPPLES UNTIL THEY ARE PURPLE BEFORE I REVEAL HIS IDENTITY that did a bunch of reviews about hippie horror movies nobody has ever seen in-between his “calling out” of posters at the TSM board. “Marvin, Glenn Beck is gay, lol.” Or worse yet, commenting about “OMG Marney is sure CrAzY~!” Seriously, what is up with those one sentence posts that talk about the zany happenings over at message board part of our happy Internet community? I mean, talking about other posters on a BLOG that nobody reads is just…
is just…
…
Goddamnit.
Anyway, since the conclusion of my Top 103 Posters countdown I have been trying to think of another countdown-ish thing to do. Part of me wanted to do something regarding movie franchises while there were a few television DVD sets that have been screaming for my kkk-ommentary. However, thanks to the awesomeness that is the tune called “Dawn Raid on Fort Knox” I think I have just found the next project to distract me for a time (or at least until I get distracted again). If you can't figure it out by now, don't bother -- it will scare THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of you.
OK, I'm stopping now. No way I'm doing 20 more of these retarded puns. You might as well get the MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN to put two in my head.
19...
Well Super Bowl XL has come and gone, and I might as well make the obvious “The real MVP for the Steelers were the referees loloneforthethumb2006,” joke and continue on with a few thoughts.
• While Seattle got hit with a few calls, I don’t think it was as bad as some people are saying. For example, I thought the Roethlisberger rushing touchdown was good; even though he tucked the ball in as he was landing on the turf, the ball was extended enough to touch the goal line when he was in mid-air. By no means was this an easy call to make, and it took me almost as much time as it took the officials who reviewed the play to confirm my decision.
That offensive pass interference call which cost Seattle a touchdown is another penalty I don’t have a problem with. Even though Darrell Jackson barely touched the defender covering him, he was still blocking the opponent right in front of an official, and when viewed in real time it looked a lot worse than it did in slow motion. The sad thing about this play is that it appeared Jackson already had position on his defender and didn’t need to do that push off.
The few penalties I had problems/questions about were that one holding call which erased a play that put Seattle on the Steeler one-yard-line and the “cut block” penalty assessed to Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck. I was also curious as to why Steeler linebacker Joey Porter didn’t get a penalty called on him for taking down Shaun Alexander with what looked like a horsecollar tackle. (I could be wrong on this one, but it stuck out when I watched the play.)
• Big Ben has played better postseason games, and that one interception deep in Seahawk territory reminded me of Rodney Harrison’s pick in last year’s AFC Conference Championship game. However, Ben did have his moments. The most notable was when he scrambled out of the pocket, took note of where the line of scrimmage was, not to mention the location of the nearest defenseman, and threw a 37-yard pass to Hines Ward that set up his team's first touchdown.
• My surprise stat of the night: Alexander’s 95-yard rushing effort. I did a double take when I saw how many yards he gained with his 20 carries.
• I agree that Hines Ward should have been the MVP with five catches for 123 yards and a touchdown, as well as a key first-down run that knocked a Seattle safety out for the game. In addition, most of his catches were for first downs, and a number of them were caught despite being poorly thrown by Roethlisberger.
• I wasn’t sure about Seattle's chances coming in. I felt they had all the tools to win, but they never proved to me during the regular season that they could beat stellar competition on the road or on a neutral field. Despite several dropped passes, and some questionable clock management, they showed that they could compete; just not win. For the most part their defense played tough. However, they gave up four plays that gained 155 yards, nearly half of the Steelers' 339 total for the game. My doubts about the Steelers blitzing against the Seahawks' pass protection schemes were proven right for the most part, and Seattle's passing game showed that they could move the ball against Pittsburgh's secondary. But when it came time to make the big play, penalty-free of course, they came up short.
• This game may have been ugly, but the commercials were worse. The only ads I liked were from Budweiser; topping the list was the “streaker” ad. Oh, and after hearing that godawful rendition of our country's National Anthem, I understand why the NFL outsourced the job of halftime entertainment to a group overseas instead of going with some homegrown Motown sounds. I'm sure the NFL even got a great price considering the "wear and tear" of the band they selected.
• I’m happy for Bill Cowher finally winning the big game, because I’m so sick of hearing local idiots around the Shittsburgh area constantly criticizing him and suggesting he needs to be fired. While I have said many times that the Steelers are one of the biggest underachieving teams since the early 1990s, I base this on the fact they have lost four Conference Championship games at home and won one game that they didn’t deserve to win. In addition, in 1992 they had the top seed and lost to Buffalo in the Divisional Round. However, it’s better to have a coach that can get your team to five Conference Championship games in a losing effort than to have a coach which can’t get your team into one.
I remember watching Cowher's first game with the Steelers. Coaching legend Chuck Knoll had retired, and this thirty-something guy with a noticeable chin was taking over. The first game of the Cowher regime was in a hostile Astrodome environment up against a Houston Oilers team that was one of the AFC's best. After not doing much of anything on their first drive of the game, the Steelers faked a punt that was good for a long gain. This gutsy play-call set up an early-game score, taking the crowd out of the rest of game. Ever since then, Cowher has been a fixture on the Steeler sideline, and now, thanks to this championship, he's going to be a fixture in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
• Even though I'm from the Shittsburgh area, I consider myself to be nonpartisan when it comes to the local sports teams. This run the Steelers went on late in the season and in the playoffs was nothing short of amazing. After all those years of coming up short when given home field in the postseason, it's funny to see this team win it all while having to play on the road in some of the most hostile stadiums in the NFL. And while this city loves you guys, don't expect it to last long. While listening to Mark Madden's sports radio show this afternoon, there were several callers already talking about how this team will fare in 2006-2007 with the dozen or so players eligible for free agency in the upcoming off-season.
So exactly how many more months are there until mini-camp?
• This was odd. I watched ESPN’s “Around the Horn” today and Jay Mariotti, Woody Paige or Bill Plaschke were on the program. The lineup featured Michael Smith, Jim Armstrong, Jackie MacMullan and Gene Wojciechowski. Wasn’t a bad show. I’ll say this about Gene Woj-something-or-other, he’s not on the show much, but he’s pretty good. I remember the last time Jay was away for a while and Gene stepped in; he won a few Showdowns but could never fill out his face-time and with five seconds life he’d just go “That’s it. I’m done.”
• So the Olympics are getting trounced in the ratings to Fox’s American Idol. Good. I don’t care about the Olympics, no matter what season it is. If other countries give a shit about their athletes winning in curling or some skiing competition, more power to them. For me, I don’t care if Bodie what’s-his-name finishes first or tenth in a race, nor do I care if Michelle Kwan dresses up and does a triple axle. It’s not like I’m a fan of American Idol either, although I might watch bits of the first few episodes of a new season if only to watch the freaks that think they can sing. However, in this case, I’m glad Simon Cowell is trouncing this year’s Winter Games.
Hey Olympic honchos, don’t feel like you’re getting whipped in the ratings. Think of it as taking the Silver.
• This incident reminded me of a funny story that took place when I lived in Ohio. The better half was applying to a few dozen schools for Ph.D. studies and of course she got rejected by all of them. One of them was the University of Miami of Ohio. Now these people had been assholes to Mrs. kkk because she actually had the nerve to follow up with a phone call confirming her materials were successfully received. Well, when she got the customary “You are impressive but you suck” rejection letter, there was something odd about it.
It was addressed to some chick in Toledo.
Not wanting to pass up a good chance to zing some faceless bureaucrat at an academic institution, I called the contact number that was on the letter and said “Hi, my name is Frank Winters, and I’m calling because there’s something that’s disturbing me. You see, my fiancée *Mrs. kkk* applied to your Ph.D. program, and I received a rejection letter for *I forget the name* from Toledo, Ohio. I’m worried because now I’m wondering if the woman I go to bed with every night is some sort of secret agent who goes by a variety of aliases. Either that or you people are so goddamn stupid that you can’t even stuff an envelope correctly. She paid *I forget the amount of money* to apply to your piece-of-shit school and you can’t even give her a proper rejection letter. How the fuck do you people keep your jobs? Call me at *home number* when you are able to figure this out, you incompetent pieces of shit.”
This is great stress-relief technique, by the way. And I sent the rejection letter to the Toledo chick. Never heard back from her.
• However, for as much as I loathe the university system, I have to give some basketball fans at Gonzaga props for doing a “Brokeback Mountain” chant during some recent basketball games. Naturally, this will qualify as “hate speech” or violate some hippie speech code. It’ll only be a matter of time before the free-speech Nazis ship these hoodlums off to the Concentration Camp of Tolerance for their misdeeds. From the article: “President Robert Spitzer has asked for a task force to investigate the campus climate.” Bah. Keep up the good work, I say. That’s definitely more creative than those stupid, “ooooooooooo” chants I hear more and more crowds performing nowadays.
• So I have ESPN’s “Outside the Lines” on right now as background noise and they’re talking about RACISM in sports, or something. There is this panel on and suddenly I hear them talking about the Rush Limbaugh/Donovan McNabb incident. Eagles safety Brian Dawkins went on to say how horrible this incident was and this ‘n that.
Christ almighty; give it up. A perfect example of what Rush was talking about back then is going on now in NASCAR. This weekend I have heard countless times about some black guy who qualified for a race and how he’s the FIRST BLACK DRIVER TO QUALIFY SINCE WILLY T. RIBBS 20 YEARS AGO. Hey, ESPN, this is what Rush, and many other people, complain about – who gives a shit if a driver is black or some other race? You PC bitches shove this politically correct bullshit down our throats and many of us are tired of listening to it. I hope to God this black dude doesn’t win whatever race he’s in. No, not because he’s black, but because I think ESPN will do to his next race what they did to the last Duke/UNC college basketball game, with each ESPN station having a different camera angle set up on this poor driver. Hey, watch the race on ESPN which features the FIRST BLACK DRIVER TO QUALIFY FOR A NASCAR RACE IN 20 YEARS SINCE WILLY T. RIBBS. If you want to be inside the car with the FIRST BLACK DRIVER TO QUALIFY FOR A NASCAR RACE IN 20 YEARS WILLY T. RIBBS, switch over to ESPN 2. If you want to see Bill Lester's wife in the stands during this race, switch on over to ESPN U; did you know that Lester is the FIRST BLACK DRIVER TO QUALIFY FOR A NASCAR RACE IN 20 YEARS SINCE WILLY T. RIBBS? And if you want to see a special presentation of former racecar driver Willy T. Ribbs, switch over to ESPN Classic Say, did you know that Bill Lester is driving today? Yeah, he's the FIRST BLACK DRIVER TO QUALIFY FOR A NASCAR RACE IN 20 YEARS SINCE WILLY T. RIBBS.
And while we’re at it – where are all the NFL white cornerbacks? Surely there are some people of my race that can blanket a wide receiver in man-to-man coverage.
Great, now they brought up how NBA attendance is down and if it is due to today’s THUG BALLERZ that the white ticket buyers don't want to see. Also, is the newly installed NBA dress code RACIST as well? Oh, no. Stephen A. Smith is on the Sports Reporters, as well as Dan LebaRetard and Mitch Album? What in the hell happened to this show that I used to watch when I was a kid? I have to turn this shit off, now.
• Yet another reason why I don’t blame people for wanting the death penalty for lowlife pieces of shit. Not only is Andrea Yates remarried, but she is also getting a second trial for drowning her kids. I wonder if Katie Couric bought Yates something off of the bridal registry?
• And while I’m talking about wedding registries, one of the plusses to getting married is that you get to set-up one of these things. Of course, the problem is nobody ever gets you anything you want off of your registry, or at least that was the case for me. Now I can sympathize with people not wanting to pitch in and buy a new sink base stand (or whatever the hell those things are called), which was one of the things the better half put on our registry, but for God’s sake what’s the point of buying us a single TOWEL? However, on the bright side, we got a bunch of mini-cooking appliances (two George Foreman grills, a cuisinart, a quesadilla maker, and a crockpot, to name a few). Of course, I could have bought 10 of each of these things and have some change left over if I didn’t have to shell out $14k for the wedding, but whatever. Here’s a tip to all the single guys out there whose better halves want a “traditional” wedding with all the stupid “protocol” that's involved in one of these money pits. Make sure, when they want this “traditional” wedding with all the trimmings, to make it really traditional and have her parents pay for the whole thing.
Well today I turn the big 3-0. I normally don’t care about birthdays, but this one has affected me somewhat – it has for a few months now. When 2006 came around, I realized that I would be turning over a new digit on the left side of the age figure. This thought scared me, and not because I was closer to collecting a Social Security check that probably won’t be there for me anyway when I become eligible for it. I also wasn’t in crisis mode, wondering what happened to my life; I’m actually content in that aspect of my life for the most part. One thing that has been bugging me though is the fact I don’t have anything saved in the bank. When I graduated college I was 22 years old and started an unsuccessful attempt to get full-time employment in Sappy Valley. When I was 24 I was in Ohio doing the same thing all over again like I was in central Pennsylvania. I eventually found work, but it wasn’t full-time. Also, whenever I was able to save some money I had to bail the better half out of some financial trouble she got herself in while attending grad school. When we moved back to Pennsylvania in 2003 I was 27 years of age, and after several months of looking for a job that had something to do with my college education, I began saving money for the first time in my life.
Then came the new house, which I had to pay out several thousand dollars in closing costs and other fees. Then came the new computer that had to be purchased because the old one died. Then came the vet bills for our one cat that got sick. Then came the wedding, of which I had to subsidize several thousand dollars to the better half because she didn’t realize how expensive the reception hall would be. She also didn’t realize that all the things I had mentioned above (including a few others not listed) I solely paid for because she didn’t have the money to pay off half of each of these costs and had put her half of these expenses on a “tab” she will never pay me back for.
My 20s came and went, and I realized that this past January. What hit me was I had always heard while growing up that if you put away a small amount of money each year while in your 20s you’d end up with $10,000,000 (or some other similar figure) by the time you turned 65. Well I can say goodbye to that. I spent the last 10 years moving from place to place, not being able to save a dime, and now a decade has passed with nothing to show for it but a few gray hairs and some accumulated wisdom. My debt load isn’t too bad – I owe $6,800 on a school loan I thought I would have already paid off when I graduated college back in ’98. When 2006 got under way, I wrote down a list of things I wanted to accomplish, and topping this list was paying off my debt and starting to save for the long term. If everything goes as planned, I’ll have the debt paid off sometime this summer, and then I’ll focus on saving.
But financial matters aren’t the only things concerning me. I tend to ache more when doing activities that wouldn’t have bothered me 5-10 years ago. When I see kids playing basketball, I think to myself, “Why would I waste energy shooting hoops when I’ve got a lawn to mow?” I’m listening to music that was around during my childhood-early 20s because newer material just doesn’t appeal to me. I would rather look at an attractive 40-year old than a 20-year old. I’m listening to rhetoric by political parties and able to remember years back when they had the opposite stance that same issue. I don’t mean to do these things; they are just coming natural to me. However, I must say that I’m fighting this getting old thing, or at least I’m picking the battles I know I can win. For example, I haven’t started bitching (much) about the cost of things now as opposed to 10-15 years ago (not even the cost of gasoline – taxes are another matter, however). I don’t say times today are worse off now than they ever have been (at least not until Democrats are in charge). And I don’t wear my pants up to my belly button (yet).
Rather than feeling the effects of aging another decade, I think this was a wake-up call letting me know that I’m an adult, and as an adult I better get my ass in gear with some areas of my life that I haven’t focused on as much as I should have over the years.
Then again, maybe turning 30 is the best thing to have happened to me since I turning, well, 20.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 99: Jessie Ewiak
I have stopped going into the CE folder (or whatever it’s being called nowadays) for quite a while, which is a shame because for the longest time it was by far the most entertaining place for discussion and debate. Did I just say “discussion and debate”? What I meant to say was that for the longest time the CE folder was by far the most entertaining place for name-calling, flame-baiting and overall juvenile behavior. While there were many people (like me) who limited most of their posts to a smart-ass (and often unfunny) remark or two per post, there were some who tried to do more. One of these people was Jessie Ewiak, and surprisingly he was a favorite of mine. When he wasn’t explaining to members of the Conservative Brigade why the polls favored Kerry over Bush in ’04, he was wanking to one of the few elections Democrats did manage win that year. Also, when it came to talking about the Swift Boat Vets and the *coughallegedcough* cBS forged memos about Bush’s National Guard Service, Jessie was blog-tastic. In fact, the one thing I don’t like about Jessie is that he didn’t post more, because I really did enjoy reading his take on a variety of issues, even if I didn’t agree with them. So in the spirit of bipartisanship, even though I wish that all of the people Jessie votes for in the ’06 elections lose, I want them to lose by really small vote margins. Sadly, with the two of us living in Pennsylvania (him up in Erie, me down in Shittsburgh), I’m afraid that there will be quite a few people on his ballot taking congratulatory phone calls from political opponents later this year.
And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From SFA Jack:
• So last night I was watching the Hurricanes/Sabers game and they just ended the first period. With the Suns/Mavericks game yet to begin I decided to do some channel surfing, which is what any guy would do given the circumstances. So there I was flipping away when I came across MTV and this “Sweet 16” show. Wondering what the hell this was I put the remote down, which was my first mistake. I’ve never heard of this show before, but apparently it’s about spoiled brats and what they do for their 16th birthday. This episode focused on a chick named Alexa and her getting ready for the big day. The show started out with her giving away invitations right outside her house with a staff of security guards trying to keep the crowd of (she estimated) 400 in order. Once the invitations were given out, tragedy struck. Her boyfriend, Manny, broke up with her. It only got worse from there. To celebrate her becoming a woman, the family was going to rent out a hotel reception hall and decorate it in a Arabian motif, complete with belly dancers and snake charmers. However, there was a problem: Her mother didn’t like the centerpieces Alexa picked out. Then later on when she went out by the beach to take some glamour shots, the wind picked up, discombobulating the angel wings that were set up on her back. This hardship was so trying that she began crying over this. But all this paled to what happened later, when it was time for her to go car shopping with her dad. She picked this automobile and wanted it right then and there. Daddy, though, didn’t oblige because he was playing the negotiating game with the salesman over the $41,000 price tag. This brought on another wave of tears.
When it came time for the big day, Alexa was in for a rude awakening. Her mother purchased the centerpieces that she liked, not the ones Alexa preferred. To add insult to injury, Louis the Event Planner didn’t have time to replace them, so Alexa had to deal with these monstrosities that cost $3,000 less than the centerpieces she wanted. Note I didn’t say they cost $3,000 – they cost $3,000 LESS. All throughout the preparation process, Alexa kept saying how she wanted to impress her ex-boyfriend, who was in attendance, and on her big day everything was going wrong, leaving Manny unimpressed. But then it all turned around for our little Alexa. Dressed as a belly dancer, she gyrated in front of a packed audience, showing Manny what he was missing. When it was all said and done, Manny had a change of heart and said to her, “I wouldn’t mind getting back with you.” Oh but the laugh was on him, because Alexa said that she no longer wanted to be with him. You go girl. Then her father took Alexa outside to show her the car he bought – the same vehicle that she cried about not getting earlier in the episode. As if that wasn’t enough, her dad also got her a diamond-encrusted Rolex watch, to which she said, as her dad gave it to her, “Fuck the car, dude, check out my watch.” Manny, still heartbroken after being rejected by Alexa just minutes ago, said on camera, “”I could have been driving that car.”
Oh by the way, this wasn’t really Alexa’s 16th birthday; it was her 15th. God only knows what’s going to happen when she turns 21. And I will never watch this show again, partly because I don’t want to know if Alexa is one of the more or less extreme cases of this show.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 89: Olympic Slam
I guess you could classify Olympic Slam as a pilgrim in an unholy land. He’s more conservative than me yet lives in California. That alone should make him the Michael Savage of TSM. Considering he loves said talk-show host, I think this indeed makes him the Michael Savage of TSM. Either way, I have no problems with the chap.
• Once again America is sticking its middle finger up to the rest of the world and saying, “Fuck you all, we’re going to do what we Americans want.” Is this because we’re going to invade another country? Not that I know of. Are we thumbing our nose yet again at the United Nations? I wish. No, it’s World Cup season, and despite other countries shutting down to watch their team run around a field for 90 minutes kicking a ball, we here in the United States just give out a collective yawn. I’m one of the bigger oddballs in this country because I like the game of soccer. I played it for 14 seasons as a kid, and ever since 1990, when I was 14 years old, I have tuned into this tournament. Granted, I have no idea who any of the players are, but sometimes you watch a sporting event for other reasons. For example, one spectacle of the World Cup that I enjoy seeing is the spectators cheering on their team, waving flags, singing and rattling off noisemakers. The actual game itself is not that bad to watch, either. I don’t think I’d be able to watch soccer on a regular basis, and I don’t tune into that American MLS league; once every four years tends to provide me with an ample fix.
Back in 1990 I remember West Germany winning the World Cup after beating Argentina 1-0 on a cheesy penalty kick late in the game. I also remember England having a really old goalkeeper, Italy getting pretty far, and some guy from Cameroon with black sweatpants. What I remember most about this tournament, however, was that several times the only goals scored in a game were done during TNT’s commercial breaks. There’s nothing more gratifying than watching a game for an hour or two only to have the game’s only goal come while you’re watching an ad for some airline or sports drink. When you got back from the break you saw a bunch of players jumping on top of each other with the announcers saying, “While we were away, Italy just scored the first goal of the game. Here’s the replay.” Sorry, but watching a replay isn’t the same as seeing the real thing live. Is it any surprise that by the time the 1994 World Cup came around the games were interruption-free? Rather than go to commercial breaks, the games just put a sponsor’s logo in the corner for 20 minutes or so.
Four years later the World Cup was hosted in the United States. Some things I remember about this event were the U.S. upsetting Columbia thanks to some player scoring in his own net. The U.S. eventually lost to Brazil 1-0, but if memory serves, Brazil was playing shorthanded thanks to a red card, so instead of going with the mainstream opinion of "our boys played tough," I always thought they should have upset the Brazil squad. The success of the ’94 World Cup was supposed to show Americans how great the sport of soccer is. It didn’t. The 1998 World Cup was probably the worst ever for America. Not only did the Frenchies win the whole thing, but the United States lost to Iran in group competition. America fared much better four years later when they went out in the quarterfinals to Germany, the tournament’s eventual runner-up. From what I’ve heard about this year’s tournament, the U.S. is in a tough bracket and may not make it out of group play. Big deal. Just because America can’t dominate one kind of sport that doesn’t mean that sport should be ignored. Besides, it’s always nice to have other countries dominate the world’s stage every once in a while. Who am I going to pick for the World Cup? Well, I always go with Brazil followed by the host country as a sleeper pick.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 76: Your Paragon of Virtue
He's harmless enough when talking about current events, back when I used to do that sort of thing. He seems to be interested in the wrestling/fighting topics of this place, which I generally stay away from (although he's not a Raw fan anymore). He tried his hand (and voice) at TSM "radio," and didn't do that bad a job. While a commie, we do share some common ground. We both think Britney Spears is a "slut" for having kids after marriage. We also agree Marshall Faulk was a better running back than Emmitt Smith. But most importantly, we two prudes don't find this all that appealing.
And now a word or two from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Black Lushus:
From Cancer Marney:
Below is Part II of my journey with the Political Compass just to find out where in that broad spectrum I land -- am I just a notch below Hitler or to the right of George W. Bush? Place your bets now.
PART II:
Agree.
Sure America’s poverty levels aren’t quite the same as the rest of the world’s, but I fear the tax rate that will befall me should the white, ghetto and burro trash ever unite for one common cause. Better to keep them angry at each other than focused on evil suburbanites like myself.
Agree.
Yeah, it’s nice to have a job. But it’s even nicer not to have to spend a day’s paycheck on a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread.
Agree.
As much as I like libertarians, I don’t buy their notion of “End regulation because when a factory dumps sewage into the local river, they’re dumping it into THEIR river, too!” Now we can debate as to how much regulation should be conducted on said factory, but that's not the question at hand.
Disagree.
The only reason I don’t add the “Strongly” before this answer is because the question includes the word “fundamentally,” which tells me the questioner is trying to say that this idea would work in Happy World, where everything is pure and good. This ain’t happy world. Every idea looks good on paper. Having it work in the real world is a different matter altogether. For some reason I'm taken back to that South Park "hippie" episode where a doper says something like, "Yeah man, we ought to live together in one big community. There could be one person just make the bread for us all," to which Stan replies, "You mean a baker?"
Disagree.
Years ago I may have tended to agree with this one, but hey, if you don’t like the taste of your water, then let the free market be your guide. Besides, we’re always bitching about how fat our kids are. Maybe instead of buying them a can of Pepsi at the Quickie Mart, a bottle of water might be a better purchase. And what about if there’s a water main break in your neighborhood? Thanks to this thing called capitalism, you can go out and buy a gallon or two of H2O at a decent price to tide you over until your drinking water becomes sanitary again.
Disagree.
Not only should land be bought and sold, it should be fought over, too. However, one thing land shouldn’t be is taken by your government thanks to five red diaper doper babies from one private owner to be given to another private owner just because that person claims he can generate more tax revenue from this land, thus contributing to the “greater good” of the community. Come on Ginsburg and Stevens, retire those old asses of yours before 2008.
Disagree.
It’s too bad that this is how George Soros got his wealth and power, but hey, such is life. More power to him for manipulating the system; too bad I didn't think of it first. If so, I could have made some really cool Group 527 political ads during the 2004 election.
Agree.
This is a tough one for me. I’m a peon of the free market, but because the word “sometimes” is used I’ll gingerly go to the “agree” side of this issue. Sometimes you might need to fight fire with fire, although both sides usually end up getting burnt.
Developing...
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 62: The Scotsman
I don’t think I’ve read more than two or three posts from the Scotsman here at TSM, but he was such an entertaining figure for me at other places that I just have to include him. For those that don’t know, Scotsman had his own Web site for a while which was titled Scotsmanality, and in it he would chronicle his life’s events and wax poetic about other subjects (usually dealing with those of a certain race or sexual preference). While some people didn’t care for his writing, I thought he was downright hilarious. In fact, my OMG FAUX NEWS LOL 200X! was based off of a similar phrase he used when goofing on people with AOL e-mail accounts. It looks like Scotsmanality has since closed down; from what I heard he decided to start playing poker instead of writing about his crack-head neighbors and giving us “where are they nows” involving his grade-school classmates from Scotland (and of course saving the only black kid in his class for last). Hopefully he’s making a decent living with his choice of career path, considering at the time of his site’s closing he had a wife and kid. (Or was it a live-in girlfriend? I can’t remember what their situation was – either way: nice piece of ass; good work.) I only spoke with him once via AIM, and that was just to give him a link to a news story about some kid with Downs Syndrome being elected Homecoming King in his school. Oh, yeah. Review WCW Nigger.
And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From SFA Jack:
• Gee, what's wrong government -- people follow your stupid orders and then you realize that you're doing more harm than good? While sorta on this subject, being the slow driver that I am I get tailgated every now and then. Now if I’m in the fast lane and I’m not going well above the speed limit, then I’ll happily move over. However, if I’m in the slow lane and I have an asshole driver behind me, it just encourages me to go slower. As another aside, there are these signs along this one stretch of interstate that frequently gets clogged up during rush hour. The first ugly yellow sign reads, “Look out for aggressive drivers,” while the one after that says, “Don’t tailgate.” Them’s fighting words.
• One of the bigger stories surrounding last week’s preseason games was Clinton Portis getting hurt tackling an opponent. Much of the talk around the sports talk-radio circuit was the importance of four NFL preseason games. Personally, I don’t really see the big deal about preseason games. Does it really matter if a star player ruptures an ACL during week four of the preseason or week one of the regular season? If teams really wanted to protect their best players, they shouldn’t play them at all during the preseason; let the backups and undrafted free agents play more and evaluate their potential in case a starter does get hurt later on that year.
• Now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this): This 28-year old chick says the guy she was dating turned out to be a drug addict. She told him to stop, and he claimed to be clean for two months. They got married. Six months later this guy was caught doing drugs again. Dr. Laura then says to the caller, “Whatever you say next, don’t ask me ‘what can I do?’” The caller then starts bawling. Later on, when the subject of leaving this guy is brought up, the caller says she wants to do just that, but she is worried about the “humiliation” she will feel from all the people who were part of her wedding.
• I was listening to Fox Sports Radio the other day and the hosts were talking about Jerry Porter now being suspended from the Oakland Raiders. One thing they said Porter was unhappy about dealt with the length of practices -- I think too much practice is the least of the Silver and Black’s problems. But this isn't just a week to rip on the Raiders when you have the Arizona Cardinals imploding in the fourth quarter of last night's game. I do feel bad for Neil Rackers though. He was the Bengals kicker when I lived in southwest Ohio. While going through a tough season, he had to put up with constant crap from idiot fans; I remember there was an incident at some restaurant when he was there with his wife/girlfriend and some dolts were bitching about the Bengals. Go ahead and boo all you want when an athlete is out on the field, but for Christ's sake leave them alone when they're trying to enjoy a meal or share an outing with their family out in public.
• I don’t hold humans in high regard, but kitties are another matter. This asshole needs a bullet in his head.
Uh, how about taking the kittens in, getting them checked out and putting them up for adoption, you faggot-ass piece of shit? Yeah, that would have been real hard; OMG you would have had to put the animals in a carrier and taken them to a vet. Sure it would have cost a few dollars, but he’s the principal of a government school – I’m sure he could have footed the bill. Hell, get the local media involved and this could have turned into a nice, heart-warming story of two kittens getting a second chance on life. Instead, this bastard unloaded two bullets and now he has me wishing for his slow and painful death.
• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this): This couple went camping for a few days and left the 17-year old daughter at home unattended. They asked her when they got back if she stayed home the entire time and she said no. She said she spent two nights at her boyfriend’s house. There is a disagreement with how to punish her, and the father says that he wants to be less harsh on her than his wife because the daughter “prides herself in being a virgin,” goes to church and plays sports.
While not the call of the day, this one call that got me saying, “I don’t think so, ho.” The chick had a kid with some guy who bolted the moment she announced that she was preggers. She married this other guy, and they also had a kid. The first baby’s daddy contacted this woman and said that he is more than willing to relinquish parental custody of the kid who he has never seen. When the caller asked her current husband if he would adopt the lovechild, he said no because he feared that if something ever happened to their relationship that he’d get saddled with paying child support for the kid that isn’t his. Hell, I don’t blame him one bit – although I’m sure he’ll end up paying support for the one kid that’s not his even if he doesn’t adopt.
