You know what pisses me off? When certain businesses that do nothing to improve their product over the years suddenly blame the Wal-Marts and Targets of the world for their misery. In my area there are three “major” grocery store chains: Foodland, Shop ‘n Save and Giant Eagle. My local Giant Eagle store is so much better in terms of price, cleanliness and variety of products than a nearby Shop ‘n Save. I shopped at the latter a few times and vowed never to return. (I don't have a Foodland within a short driving distance from my house, so they're out of this story.)
Now that my community is starting to grow, and bigger retail chains have begun to set up shop. Earlier this month a Target opened up next to Giant Eagle, and there has been a local controversy with a Mega-Wal-Mart trying to get built in the same area. After some legal battles, the Wal-Mart has been approved and will probably begin construction sometime in the near future. Because of this Wal-Mart being built, the Shop ‘n Save store has announced it will be closing at the end of April. Representatives from the store have cited the upcoming Wal-Mart as the main reason why they are folding up their tent.
Good.
Fuck you Shop ‘n Save. You aren’t being run out because of big, bad Wal-Mart. You’re being run out because your prices suck, your brand selection leaves something to be desired, and you have made no attempts to upgrade over the years. Giant Eagle has acknowledged the competition and is meeting it head on. The store has lowered prices on a number of items and has introduced a “personal shopper” program. I’ve talked about this system before, but for those that haven’t heard me describe it here we go.
You have to be a Giant Eagle “advantage card” member, and what you do is scan your card at this machine and pick up a scanning device. Basically what you do is ring up and bag your order as you go. I have said before that although you spend more time shopping due to scanning and putting stuff in your grocery bags, I love this system for a number of reasons. 1) You get to see how much your running tab is as you shop. 2) You can bag items that you normally store together; this saves a lot of time at home unpacking. 3) You don’t have to wait in line, and you don’t have to hear the cashiers complain to each other about how much longer their shift is.
Another thing Giant Eagle has introduced in the last year or so is a line of convenience stores. For every $50 you spend in groceries, you get 10 cents off a gallon of gasoline on an upcoming fuel purchase. Is there a huge savings? Not really. But every couple of months, it’s nice to get $1 off per gallon of gas when filling up at one of these “Get-Go” stations.
Will this Giant Eagle survive with the increased competition from Target and Wal-Mart? I hope so. I don’t hate Wal-Mart, and I do some shopping there, but I don’t shop for groceries. I think one of the reasons I refuse to is because I don’t want to wait in line for an hour just to buy food and other products that I can’t get at a grocery store. As for Shop ‘n Save (and I’m sure Foodland will go under, too, considering those stores are worse than Shop ‘n Save), good-bye and good riddance.
8:30 p.m.
• So I’m getting ready for an interview tomorrow, and I’m going about the business of getting my portfolio ready. Why the hell do I even bother? I can’t remember the last time anyone bothered to even ask for work samples. Of course, if I just go in cold, that’s when the question will be asked. I am generally pretty honest with myself about my chances at a job, and the last few interviews were “eh.” It’s not a big deal – the interviewers themselves were nothing to write home about, and I’m not going to trade one shithole workplace for another. This place I feel has potential. We’ll see tomorrow.
8 p.m.
• You know all those polls you hear about and wonder “Where do they come up with these people?” Well, I’m one of these people. I got a Snoozeweek survey person on the phone right now. Oh my God.
“Is there progress being made in Iraq?”
“Do you approve of the way George W. Bush is handling the economy?”
“Did the Bush Administration do a good job handling the Walter Reed hospital scandal or should more people have been fired?”
“Do you approve of a) gay marriage, b) civil unions, c) burning these queers at the stake?”
Here were my two favorites:
“Would someone who was previously married and went through a nasty public divorce influence whether or not you would vote for them?” (My answer: I’d still vote for Rudy.)
“Would someone who had a grandfather that had multiple wives influence whether or not you would vote for them?” (My answer: I’d still vote for Mitt over that beast Hitlery.)
And then she asked, “Would someone who had a homosexual affair while married influence whether or not you would vote for them?” I said yep. OMG I’M SUCH A HATEMONGER. Too bad that person should have just stayed homo and not started a family because now they are put in the most uncomfortable of uncomfortable positions, and I’m not talking about the backseat of a Volkswagon. I’m surprised they didn’t ask, “Would someone who divorced his wife while she was battling cancer for a younger, more attractive woman influence whether or not you would vote for them?” (BTW: My answer to that would be “yes.” Sorry, Newt.)
When the chick thanked me for my time I replied, “Thanks. I can’t wait to see how you skewer these results.” So when the next Snoozeweek poll gets released and you wonder who are those people that think our country is the shizzle, you’re looking at one, baby. Oh, and I said fuck Congressional Democrats when it comes to issuing troop withdrawals.
8 p.m.
• So I heard one of Mrs. kkk’s friends is having marital problems. Well, the problem (at least for the friend) is that she’s not married yet to the father of one of her two kids. Well, this guy isn’t the most responsible person in the world, and the better half’s friend does all of the cooking, cleaning, etc. This and work a full-time job and take care of the kids. Well, it’s the one crumb-snatcher’s birthday in a few days and Mrs. kkk’s friend went with her dad to get a sandbox from Toys R Us. When she asked her baby’s daddy to watch the kids for an hour or so while the sandbox was getting purchased/transported/etc., this guy say the quote of the week.
“What do I look like – a babysitter?”
8 p.m.
• So I just spent two hours doing something that could be saved for the workplace. However, I can sleep better tonight knowing it’s over and done with. (No, it’s not masturbation.) Most of the work involved getting into that “zone” where you just go at it until it’s finished. Whenever I get into one of these situations I usually put on a song and just keep looping it until I’m finished. About halfway through my work I found a song that I worked rather well with and hit the “repeat” button on the CD player. What was tonight’s song?
Bruce Springsteen’s “Night.” If you haven’t heard it,
(The video option is being bad for me right now.)
Dude’s a commie for sure, but you can’t say he doesn’t give his audience their money’s worth. Unless it’s that “Philadelphia” piece of shit or that “57 channels” song. I remember when that video came out on MTV my one friend turned to me and said, "That was Bruce Springsteen, right?"
• Wow, all this time I thought Issac Hayes was a cool cat; turns out he’s little bitch. Apparently, after almost 10 years of playing a character voice to one of the most offensive shows out there, he has had it with the program's bigoted stance on religion.
N*gga plz.
Now South Park has goofed on just about everything under the sun, and Trey Parker and Matt Stone have had a field day with every religion out there, from Catholics to Jews to Buddists. This let's-make-fun-of-everybody mentality is what has made this show great. I find it hard to believe that an episode last year that goofed on Scientology would offend Hayes to the point he would quit. This was around the time I learned Issac was followed this goofy religion/practice/whatever the hell it is. Waaaaaah. Cry me a river. Stone said it best when responding to Hayes’ tantrum that the singer “Wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin.”
I think it’d be great if they still used Chef’s voice but instead voiced him with some dopey white guy, or change the voice every episode to include other races.
• Well, the March Madness brackets have been devised, and now it’s time to bitch about all the teams that didn’t make it into the field of 65. I don’t follow college basketball, so I have no idea who got hosed and who did not, however, the one team that made me go “wha-?” was Air Force; how’d they make it in?
This brings up an interesting argument about which teams should be allowed in. Do teams from conferences like the Big East and ACC that have mediocre records get the last few spots, or should teams from the Never-Heard-Of-It Conference get a bid for going 29-5 against universities that you didn’t know existed? I can see the argument from both sides. After all, take the fighting Colonials of Widget State Tech University, put them in the Big 10 and watch them get slaughtered. However, I say let these 15- and 16-seeded teams play. After all, schools like Maryland will surely make it back to the NCAA Tournament in a year or so, but how often will many of these school get the chance to be considered for the greatest tournament in all the land?
If Maryland made the postseason and lost in the first round, the fans and players would just go “eh” and move on. But a school like Southern U, who will undoubtedly get crushed by Duke in the first round, will look back at their tournament experience and revel in it. Players will talk about when they kept Duke’s lead to single digits, or if they held JJ Redick to under 40 points. If some of the bigger schools whine about not getting in the tournament, then they should have won a few more games. This isn’t Division One Football, where one loss puts a team out of so-called “National Championship” contention.
• This story made me laugh. No, it’s not due to some media conglomerate conspiracy I have. It’s just that Kevin McClatchy owns the Shittsburgh Pirates, and you would think that after buying $4.5 billion for a dying media, he would at least try to boost his baseball team’s payroll by a smidgen in hopes of making the franchise somewhat competitive (and around here that means getting near the .500 mark).
Thank Christ you people have resources that America doesn't care about (at least not any more -- damn you Civil War). Dealing with Middle Eastern culture is bad enough.
And speaking of HATE CRIMES~!
Gee, I thought flag burning was PROTECTED SPEECH? Didn't we go through this already back in the 1990s with Tommy Lasorda?
8 p.m.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 37: AlwaysPissedOff
Now one would think with him being all African-American and shit that this would be an appropriate user name. But the strange thing is I don’t think I’ve ever seen him pissed off, or even slightly irritated for that matter. And he’s been in my kkk Bowl league since the beginning, so he has to be aware of my unwavering RACISM. After a few lean seasons, Mr. APO has made the last two postseasons, and even came within one victory of a kkk Bowl III appearance (yet another person with every right to hate a certain peckerwood with a title involving a bunch of jumbled letters and numbers). However, he does seem like an angry black man fo’ sho’ here. And he sure misses those BK cheese sticks. Nevertheless, I’ll be secretly pulling for him should kkk Bowl V commence in ’07-’08. Well, it won’t be so secret now.
And now a word from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
From Cancer Marney:
3 p.m.
• Crap, I need to get going on this year's Brackkketology before it's too late. Might as well start with the "play-in" game -- does it really matter who wins this? I say Niagara will FALL to the other team. Get it? Niagara, Fall. Oh, I'm a regular laugh riot.
FIRST ROUND
Florida (1), Jackson State (16)
Arizona (8), Purdue (9)
Butler (5), Old Dominion (12) Will that loss to Wright State in Butler’s conference championship game be a wake-up call or an omen of things to come? I’m hoping for the former.
Maryland (4), Davidson (13)
Notre Dame (5), Winthrop (11)
Oregon (3), Miami of Ohio (14) Fuck Miami O – I hope they get crushed.
UNLV (7), Georgia Tech (10)
Wisconsin (2), Tex A&M CC (15)
Kansas (1) Whoever (16)
Kentucky (8), Villanova (9)
Virginia (5), Illinois (12) They were good a few years ago. Yeah, great logic picking them now.
Southern Illinois (4), Holy Cross (13)
Duke (6), VCU (11)
Pittsburgh (3), Wright State (14) Oh I am so tempted to pick WSU in this one, but I expect the Panthers to crap out in Round 2.
Indiana (7), Gonzaga (10) Please God let the Zags lose in the first round; I don’t want to hear another “OMG THEY’RE A CINDERELLA STORY” again.
UCLA (2), Weber State (15)
North Carolina (1), Eastern Kentucky (16)
Marquette (8), Michigan State (9)
Southern Cal (5), Arkansas (12)
Texas (4), New Mexico State (13)
Vanderbilt (6), George Washington (11)
Washington State (3), Oral Roberts (14)
Boston College (7), Texas Tech (10)
Georgetown (2), Belmont (15)
Ohio State (1), Central Conn. State (16)
BYU (8), Xavier (9)
Tennessee (5), Long Beach (12)
Virginia (4), Albany (13)
Louisville (6), Stanford (11)
Texas A&M (3), Penn (14)
Nevada (7), Creighton (10)
Memphis (2), North Texas (15)
SECOND ROUND
Florida (1), Purdue (9)
Maryland (4), Butler (5)
Oregon (3),Winthrop (11)
Wisconsin (2), Georgia Tech (10)
Kansas (1), Villanova (9)
Southern Illinois (4), Illinois (12)
Pitt (3), Duke (6)
UCLA (2), Indiana (7)[/b]
UNC (1), Marquette (8)
Texas (4), Southern Cal (5)
Washington State (3), George Washington (11)
Georgetown (2), Boston College
Ohio State (1), Xavier (9)
Virginia (4), Tennessee (5)
Texas A&M (3), Louisville (6)
Memphis (2), Creighton (10)
THIRD ROUND
Florida (1), Maryland (4)
Wisconsin (2), Oregon (3)
Kansas (1), Southern Illinois (4)
UCLA (2), Duke (6)
North Carolina (1), Texas (4)
Georgetown (2), George Washington (11)
Ohio State (1) Tennessee (5)
Memphis (2), Louisville (6)
FOURTH ROUND
Florida (1), Oregon (3)
Kansas (1), UCLA (2)
Georgetown (2), Texas (4)
Ohio State (1), Louisville (6)
FINAL FOUR
Florida (1), UCLA (2)
Ohio State (1), Texas (4)
FINAL TWO
Ohio State (1), Florida (1) Revenge for the BcS Bowl-thingy.
Jesus Christ, I barely picked any upsets. Well, I’m a pussy, so what do you expect? Now that my picks are out in the open, it’s time to guess what will really happen:
Notre Dame and Virginia Tech will reach the Final Four, that guy from Texas will blow out his knee in the first round, and Central Conn. State will be the first 16 seed ever to upset a number 1. Too bad I’ll forget what teams I picked by this time tomorrow.
9 a.m.
• Oh no, now the integrity of ... uh, movie boxing, will be FOREVER TAINTED!
So when Stallone was killing all those gooks in Rambo II he was CHEATING?! And lol at that Rocky IV scene where he was training the "old-fashioned" way (carrying heavy stuff and chopping wood) while his commie opponent was roiding up.
10 p.m.
• So I had some of O'Reily on tonight, and one segment was devoted to these high school bitches whining about getting suspended for reading from the "Vagina Monologues" -- something about how their snatch is a sail and their underwear is empowering. I wasn't paying that much attention and I really don't care about the story itself. What I found funny though was some feminazi defending them and saying that they were "young WOMEN." Uh, yeah, and if one of them would have dumped their newborn baby in a garbage can, you would be the same cunt to go on the Factor and say that she's just a young child and didn't know what she was doing or some other line of shit like that.
6:30 p.m.
• Yeah, we really need campaign-finance reform to stop money from mixing with politics.
Wait a second, is this Shuster related to the former Republican who was one of the kings of pork-barrel spending during his time and the name behind Pennsylvania’s Bud Shuster Highway? I can’t answer that question, but when trying to via Wikipedia, I came across this gem about Bud.
• And just to show that I’m not a totally cynical asshole, I pray these two guys are true to their word.
I’m against the concept of term limits, although knowing Fast Eddie will be hit with it in 2010 softens the blow a bit. However, I’m more against politicians getting perks and pensions. Being a politician is a public service and shouldn’t be a career, unless you’re looking to move to another position. (Example: Serve in the State House for a few terms, moving on to the State Senate, then ponder a governor or Congressional run.) Staying 30+ years in one position as a politician shouldn’t be rewarded with a golden parachute.
5:30 p.m.
• Time to play "Guess that headline."
Are talking about (a) election results or (b) physical violence.
Drum roll please. (Text is linked to the full article.)
• Public Enemy fans, help a brotha out. So I’m listening to “Fear of a Black Planet” for the first time in years, and I just had on “Incident at 66.6 FM.” Is Alan Colmes the radio host?
*5 minutes later and one Google search later.*
Ha, it is.
• I’m not a huge fan of television. I mean, I watch it plenty, but if it doesn’t involve news or sports I don’t tune in every week to watch. Thanks to DVDs, I have started buying a few shows (The Shield, South Park, Lost, to name a few) and watch them commercial-free and at my leisure.
That being said, I was channel surfing yesterday afternoon and came across the E! network, who apparently boughts the right to re-air “The Simple Life,” starring Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Now although this show is several years old, it’s new to me. Oh my God what a train wreck. I have no words to describe what I saw for that 30 minutes or so. I mean … wow. That’s all I have to say on this matter. Just … wow.
• So this chick is selling ad space on her pregger belly, and some Internet company will broadcast the eventual birth. I have to give this lady props for being creative, but she would have made even more money had she auctioned broadcasting rights to this kid’s conception nine months prior.
• In order to cut costs, many newspapers are dropping those pages of stock prices. Makes sense to me. After all, most people can get the results on-line. And if someone does not have Internet access, I’m sure they aren’t checking the stock page on a daily basis anyway.
• Wow, not as many people are going to see movies. I’m sure the mindset in Hollywood now it not to make films people want to see, but rather they haven’t produced enough gay cowboy films.
• And speaking of gay cowboy films, I finally got around to watching “Hidalgo;” sadly, it wasn’t as good as I thought it would be. However, what stuck out to me were all the offensive things that occurred to Muslim men in this film. I mean, I thought going overseas with your mixed breed horse to participate in some dessert race was one of the worst things you could do to a Muslim male (it appeared that way from the reaction Frank Hopkins and his horse received). But then I realized that wanting to shake hands and ruin the ability for a sheik to see into the future was one of the worst things you could do to a Muslim male. However, I soon noticed that wanting to help a fellow racer stuck in quicksand or whose steed turned up lame was one of the worst things you could do to a Muslim male. But then I saw that touching a daughter while protecting her from unseen attackers (or at least that’s what you thought they were at the time) was one of the worst things you could do to a Muslim male (not to mention one of the worst things you could do to your reproductive organs). I’m surprised this film was even made, what with all the offensive material directed at the Muslim male in it. Hopefully, this movie isn’t seen by any radical clerics wanting to stir up trouble; if some cartoons can cause widespread mayhem and death, Allah only knows what’s going to happen with this film filled with RACISM and hate.
6:15 p.m.
• Well here's something I can find common ground with Ms. Ferraro on. I never saw Barack Osama as a viable presidential candidate ever ... ever...
• So this idea is stupid...
And the "jokes" are unfunny...
...but this got me the thinking. What political party would my cats belong to?
Dessa
This little bitch is a Republican through and through. She hates all other cats, throws a fit whenever one of her housemates pounces on her (but it's OK for her to chase any of them when she feels like it), and hops up my lap and gnaws at my hand should I try to pet her. But whenever there's a someone at the door she runs off and hides like any chickenhawk would (then again, out of my three she is the one most likely to kill a bird).
JJ
JJ is an interesting case. He's not very bright and oblivious to his surroundings. If he ever applied himself, he'd be a total bad-ass. However, he's content with just being dumb. I'd say he'd be one of those mindless masses that don't vote but would probably go Democrat if he decided to visit a ballot box.
Max
I'm not sure about this one. When we first got him he was very submissive and would run away from Dessa if she would give him a mean look from across the room. But then he soon discovered that she was all bark and no bite, so now he makes his life's work to stalk and jump on her just so she'd scream and make a fuss. Since he likes torturing our feline Republican, this should make him a Democrat. He's extremely lazy, too, until it's feeding time in which he'll jump around like a welfare collector waiting for the local post office to open on the first of every month. Then again, he sheds like a mo' fo', which means he's a polluter. However, he's BLACK~! Maybe he's a libertarian.
Did you at least remove the price stickers from the DVDs before giving them to one of our country's top allies? For all the spending you're doing, shitdick, I at least hope these movies are the super-special editions with commentary and other features.
8:30 p.m.
• So the toothless Mexican family has had quite the eventful month or so. The matriarch of the group quit her job. Why? Because of the PRESIDENT HUSSEIN RECESSION~!
…
Well, not quite.
You see, this person got paid $10+ per hour by the great commonwealth of Pennsylvania to clean half of the house where her aunt/mother lives. Who cleans the other half? Why, another person. They have two people getting $20+ per hour to CLEAN A FUCKING HOUSE FULL-TIME. Oh, and there’s a third person who is supposed to drive said aunt around for grocery shopping, etc. But there’s one problem here. This chauffer refuses to drive along the only stretch of state highway in which all these necessary stores are located. Not sure how much this person makes, but whatever. Your government in action.
Now why is this person quitting her job?
To HOME-SCHOOL her two kids.
Why is this significant? Peep this previous entry.
Now read the following.
This was WRITTEN BY THE SAME PERSON TAKING HER KIDS OUT OF SCHOOL TO HOME-SCHOOL THEM.
Oh, but the plot thickens. I knew there was more to this groovy mystery. You see, this lazy piece of human trash would have to have other reasons to get out of sitting on her fat ass watching television all day and getting paid $10+ per hour. With her household reduction in income, it turns out this family is now eligible for more welfare. Did I say “welfare”? I meant to say “benefits.” Or at least that’s what the welfare matriarch is calling this gift to the underclass. And when I say "more welfare" I mean "more than what she was making 'cleaning' her aunt's house at $10+ per hour."
But I’m not done with the updates. It’s time for a kkk Twin Spin~!
Remember this gem from a while back?
Well earlier this week we got an update. This happy couple has been divorced for quote some time now. And now the “Aussie Prince,” is suing his former better half for HALF THE PLANE/HOTEL BILL he rang up for his little intercontinental booty call. Oh, and he’s also suing for defamation of character.
How can I follow this? Goodnight, tip your waitresses and try the tortured baby cow.
9 p.m.
• Well, there goes the neighborhood.
Christ, six weeks of ads for these two. I can't wait.
Yeah, building windmills all across the country -- except anywhere near a Kennedy residence.
8 p.m.
• So I saw this headline on Brietbart's video clips: Boy Dies After Playmates Bury Him in Sandbox to Imitate Cartoon.
I then went to Google news to get a story to see which cartoon is going to get shit on now.
Well, if this causes Naruto to get shitcanned, I know that the hosts of "X-Play" will be delighted because this probably means the video game line will be gone as well.
• Eh, big deal. The guy had a life jacket on.
Third verse, different from the first.
• Kim Komando comes in at number 24, and she’s some tech chick. Being in my local market, I’ve listened to her show a few times if I’m driving somewhere. Nothing special, but she’s managed a niche market for herself, so you go girl.
• Bill Bennett, number 25. You can bet that I have no desire to listen to this show.
• I’ve seen one-half of the number 26 Curtis and Kuby duo on Hannity’s radio and television show. The one who’s not the commie started the Guardian Angels or something. I guess that’s good.
• Clark Howard chimes in at number 27. He’s on from 6-10 on my shitty WPTT station, so I haven’t heard his show but once or twice. However, he’s been on Boortz’s show (they broadcast from the same flagship station), and I’ve listened to some hippie daily minute sound bite he does. He’s cheaper than me, and that’s saying something.
• George Noory is number 28. I didn’t care for Art Bell (How many times has he retired now?), and I don’t care for this kook. Look, if listening to overnight radio like this is your thing, then cool. I remember listening to Bell before the year 2000 hit, and some of the Y2K stuff he was going off about was utterly insane. Also, how many goddamn phone numbers does this show have? To call west of the Rockies, dial this; to call east of the Rockies, dial that. If you’re in the phone booth down the street, call the underground line. Christ almighty.
• Michael Medved comes in at number 29. He’s a Jew and reviews movies. I’ve heard him sub for Rush, and I’ve seen him on cable news and C-Span. Lots of people that don’t like the Parents Television Council and the Media Research Center don’t like Medved, so I’m sure there are some things I would like about him and others I’d just roll my eyes over.
• 30-32: Huh?
• 33: I know nothing of this Lionel hippie other than that his show got canned when I lived in Ohio in favor of Michael Savage’s show.
• 34-37: I’ve heard of Tom Leykis (34), but I’ve never observed him in any media outlet. The others in these entries are nothing to me.
• 38: Ugh, I wouldn’t mind Rush using sub hosts if many of them weren’t so awful. Roger Hedgecock is one of those who when I hear his voice I know I’ll be tuning in to Jim Rome that day. In fact, the only sub host I enjoy listening to is Walter Williams.
• 39: Pass.
• Tony Snow is number 40. I didn’t care for him when he subbed for Rush, but I guess I’m in the minority since he has his own show now. More power to him, I guess. Just don’t expect me to listen to it.
• Oh God, G. Gordon Liddy’s (number 41) show was on in Sappy Valley and it was boring as shit. Hell, most of the time he just read from the newspaper in a monotone voice that would make Ben Stein sleepy. One thing that did made me chuckle was his constant refusal to say “Washington Post” (he always bleeped out the “Post” part. Gee, I wonder why?
• I’ve heard of numbers 42-44 in one way or another over the years, but I don’t care about any of them. Also, who the hell is number 45?
• Mike and Mike in the morning on ESPN radio comes in at number 46 – I have better things to do with my mornings than listen to this.
• Man, Vern Gagne was pissed when Phil Hendrie was announced at number 47 while Air America people were ranked 20+ spots higher. Sadly, I have listened to his program for about 20 minutes one night while driving in an area that carried his show, so I can’t really comment on him. But if Vern and MikeSC like him, then I’m sure his OK. Also, anyone that does a character voice for the “Team America” movie can’t be all that bad (he was the voice of “Intelligence”).
• Never heard of numbers 48 or 50, but Dennis Prager (who’s at number 49) has been pimped by a few people I know. That’s all I got.
God damnit, I thought I’d be done with this by now, but I’m only half-way finished? Zoinks.
8:30 p.m.
• Just found out that the out-of-control niece-in-law has an STD -- lol. I don't know what it's called, but it involves warts, probably leads to cancer and is not going away. When the grandmother confronted her on this sometime today (they found out about this from some gynecology tests that showed "abnormalities"), I was told the niece replied, "It's not an STD. I got it from having multiple sexual partners." When the Web MD printout was shown to her stating that this was indeed a virus, she replied "thanks for ruining my afternoon."
6:30 p.m.
• So I'm at work with the Best of Sean Hannity playing in the background (that's a joke just waiting to be delivered) when he gets a caller talking about how some person got voted off from "American Idol" because she sang a song from the Dixie Terrorists. Oh, and Hannity agreed with him.
9:45 a.m.
• I didn't realized I had so many non-auto-setting clocks. Jesus Christ.
• Actually, I hope you'll be more like the RFK of 2008.
And don't forget to stop by the California primary.
Now FREEZE...
*hip-hop beat*
Music please.
Anyone that correctly guesses where those last three lines are from gets moved up an extra spot on the Top 103 list.
1:30 a.m.
• So Captain America bit the big one.
After reading this place's "Civil War" thread it sounds like he turned into a terrorist anyway, so I say good riddance. The only comic book characters I ever paid attention to (i.e. read more than two of their issues) were Batman, Sgt. Rock and the Punisher. Even though I probably missed out on 99.9 percent of the jokes, I found this funny nevertheless.
Here is Part II of my take on the top 100 RIGHT-WING RADIO hosts, as determined by Talkers magazine. I ended my last installment with Neal Boortz at number nine, so now let’s get crackin’.
• OK, I don’t really care about Air America, but how in the hell are any of them, let alone two, in the Top 20? And if one of them were to be in the Top 10, I’d guess it’d be Al Franken. After all, he has his show on that hippie Independent Film Channel (or at least he did; I don’t know if it’s still on, but I’m guessing it is) and has been the face of Air America since its inception. But no, Randi Rhodes is number 10 – the only thing I know about her is that she ran some bit with a gunshot sound bite a while back, which I guess was to tell us all to kill the President or something. I know that wasn’t its intention; I think it had something to do with Social Security. I didn’t care then, and I don’t care now.
• Bill O’Reilly is number 11? LOL. I don’t hate the guy like other people I know, and I do watch “The Factor” every now and then. But damn is his radio show awful. In fact, my local affiliate, KDKA, just moved him from his noon-2 p.m. time slot to late night, which usually means it’s not doing too well.
• Mancow completes this dirty dozen. I don’t know much about him. I think he’s based out of Chicago, and whenever I’ve seen him on a certain cable news channel known for being fair and balanced, I have been entertained. If he stays on the air in this format for a long time, I’m sure he’ll eventually replace the local FM morning guy I listen to who, incidentally, is also on this list.
• Ed Schultz is number 13. Once again, I haven’t listened to his radio show, but I have seen him in the cable television world. He’s a liberal guy, but the few times I’ve seen him I didn’t think he was all that bad. In fact, the one segment he did with David Horowitz and some other guy, he completely outclassed them. The only think I don’t like about Schultz (and it doesn’t really pertain to him personally) is that NBC’s Today Show did a story on him and called him competition for Rush, even though at the time he was on about four radio stations. I really hate it when Medium-Large Media call the newest liberal talk-radio host the next challenger to Rush. Limbaugh’s on 500 or so radio stations; nobody’s going to directly “challenge” him for a while, if ever. Let any upstart liberal talk-radio guy do his or her thing, and see if they have the ability to beat out the other RIGHT-WING RADIO national hosts in other time slots before even thinking about comparing their success to Rush’s accomplishments. OK, I’m done.
• One reason this list is b.s. is because Rhoes and Schultz are ahead of Glenn Beck, who is number 14. I am not a huge Beck fan, but this guy is one of the most-listened to RIGHT-WING RADIO hosts in the country and is getting his own show on Headline News. I wish WPGB would have Boortz in the 10-noon slot, but Beck is the big dog in this time; I guess it could be worse. I must say though that Mrs. kkk LOVES Beck, and I don’t think she would be as right-wing as she is if she didn’t start listening to him when he first went national in 2001. Even though his material is hit-or-miss with me, the fact he’s not in the Top 10 completely discredits this list for me.
• Jim Bohannon is number 15. Don’t care. I used to listen to his show when I worked at Sappy Valley just because there was nothing else on. I heard him a few years ago while driving in New Jersey and realized I still wasn’t missing much.
• If you ever watch Hannity’s show on the FAUX NEWS CHANNEL (lol2006), you might notice this guy who the camera focuses on every now and then. Well, he’s Alan Colmes, and he also has his own talk show. Sadly, I’ve never heard it, and even though it’s on in my market, I don’t normally listen to talk-radio late at night. I actually like Alan because he’s one of the few liberals with a sense of humor. Here’s one example why I like him: One night the two of them were talking about this incident on a school bus where one kid was beating the crap out of the another kid. Hannity then began to spout some tired gibberish about how liberals wouldn’t want the kid getting beat up to defend himself and said that Alan, when he has a kid of that age, would want his kid to take the abuse. Alan just gave Sean a “wtf?” look and said, "I’d make sure he had a good lawyer.” Well, it made me laugh.
• Number 17 is Jim Rome, one of my favorite sports talk guys. He always pimps the interviews he gets on his show, but that’s when I usually change the station. My favorite parts of his show are when the callers and e-mailers make their voices heard. I’m sure this schtick might seem tiresome to regular listeners, but I tune in maybe 1-2 times per week, so it’s still entertaining to me.
• See my post about Rhodes and you’ll get my opinion on Franken, who is at number 18. Also, numbers 19-23 I know nothing about, so I’ll just stop here for now.
8 p.m.
• Do I even need to make a "How about a Thou Shalt Not Have Sex With Boys" remark with this one?
• Resign? Hell, in that state (New York), he'd be a shoo-in for re-election. Had this been a male prostitution ring, he'd be guv for life.
• The fact this person would be anywhere NEAR poon gives me that vomit-gag-taste in my mouth.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 38: Stephen Joseph
I think he's known at the bottom part of the board for that cyber-wrestling stuff that scares me away. He's also known for SAVING THE BOARD at one time or another. He's also known for swing dancing and for his hatred of excess government spending. And he's also known for not liking Mikey Moore, but for liking television anchor babes for their looks and not for their ability to read from a teleprompter. I just wish I knew what he did for a living.
And now a word or three from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
From lovecraft:
From Cancer Marney:
From SFAJack:
11:45 p.m.
• How in the hell does Long John Silvers stay in business? I guess Lent season is their "Black Friday."
• On the way home from the wedding tonight, the better half got to listen to Rush's "2112" for the first time. After 15 minutes, the following words were exchanged:
Her: "Is this still the same song?"
Me: "Yes."
Her: "How long is this thing?"
Me: "20 minutes."
Her: "Why?"
Me: "Because they do things like this."
Her: "That's insane."
Me: "Think of it as four five-minute songs."
Her: "But it's still on track 1."
Me: "Go back to sleep."
• I hate this "spring forward" shit. I don't mind falling back an extra hour in the fall, but I think if we're going to move our clocks ahead one hour, it should take place at 2 p.m. on a Monday. Yeah.
• Uh oh. Looks like I’m the newest member of the Commie Club. I was listening to RIGHT-WING RADIO today and there was a top-of-the-hour news story that said only 13 of every 1,000 people know the five freedoms that are in the first amendment of the U.S. Constitution. After this was announced, I frantically tried to guess them all before the reporter said the answer. There was that freedom of speech thing and the religion one. So far so good. The right to assemble. Come on, I’m almost there. Oh, there’s that pesky freedom of the press, but what’s the fifth one? What is it? God damnit.
Then the radio report gave the answer: Freedom to petition the Government. Oh come on now, we never hear of that one! I guess now what’s next for me is to get on Jay Leno’s show and have him humiliate me by asking, “Who’s the President?” with me giving a dumbfounded look and going, “derp.”
Speaking of those stupid “Man on the street quizzes,” if you’ve ever seen that show “Street Smarts,” you might be interested to know that I went to school with a cousin of that show’s host. Well, you probably aren’t interested, but I’m reminded of a story involving me and Frank Nicotero’s one cousin. I was hanging out with her and a few other people (I’ll call her “Jane” for this story.) when I got pulled over for making an illegal U-Turn. I did it, I paid my fine, and I moved on with my life.
Of course my college pals didn’t let me forget this mistake, which took place late at night and I didn’t see the police car that was in front of me who witnessed the violation. My nickname for the rest of the semester was “U-Turn.” Fine. I’ll be a man and take the abuse. However, during that next semester I had pulled into a gas station to fill up my car when I heard someone call my name. It was Jane, who was with her boyfriend in her parent’s car. I asked them what was going on, and Jane told me she hit the side of another car and they were exchanging information, etc. If memory serves, their car didn’t get dinged up that bad, but the other vehicle had a huge dent in its side.
Oddly enough, when I started calling Jane “Sideswipe,” my days of being “U-Turn” came to a grinding halt.
• cBS is now suing Howard Stern over breach of contract, fraud and other claims. I haven’t listen to Stern in years, although I used to be a fan of the radio show. While I switched stations whenever he’d interview lesbian porn star cousins who used to be men, I did enjoy listening to his social/political commentary; he often made some good points even if I didn’t agree with him. However, when he started his “Bush and the FCC are against me,” pseudo-jihad I tuned him out, especially when he said Michael Savage, who at the time got a short-lived show on MSBC, was a “Bush supporter.” Say what you will about Savage, but to call him another RIGHT-WING RADIO GOP PUPPET showed me Stern didn’t know what he was talking about.
Anyway, another thing I liked about Stern’s show would be when he goes off on his idiot co-workers/management. While I’m sure many thought this whining got old after a while, I enjoyed it, because I could sympathize with him and how people would fuck up even the most simple of tasks you would ask them to perform. I’m sure Stern bitched about cBS on his old show and talked about how great his move to satellite radio was going to be. If this is what cBS is suing over, get a life you bitches. You could have always just taken him off the air if he was being so offensive.
Now if Stern did other things that were in clear violation of his cBS contract, that’s another matter. But I don’t want to hear cBS cry foul because Stern said some mean things on his radio show. I think cBS ought to be more concerned what they’re going to do to make ratings since Stern’s departure.
8 p.m.
• I'm shocked ... SHOCKED that Santorum wasn't brought on as a CNN or MSNBC or cBS analyst.
Oh dear God no.
Rick, you're my n*gga and all that, but please don't be the token Jesus freak candidate in the '08 GOP primary. I know you're all about the lord and stuff, but just talk on television a lot and get paid well for your services.
7 p.m.
• I don’t know why this story prompted me to think back to an incident dating back to my high school days. I think it has to do with the one person hiding in a garbage can.
It was a Friday night and I had six friends over: Don, Jeff, Bryce, Greg, Matt and Kurt. Nothing exciting was going on; we were just playing Joe Montana Football on the Genesis when suddenly a few of us got in the mood to play football outside. Myself, Don, Jeff, Bryce and Greg went out. Did I mention that it was 2 a.m.? We didn’t think this was a big deal. We were wrong.
As we were playing some two-on-two with Greg being the quarterback for both teams, about 10 minutes went by when we suddenly saw these bright lights coming right at us, most likely from an officer of the law. We did the most sensible thing we could at that moment – run back into the house. The five of us headed to the backdoor and thought if we just kept quiet the police car would just go on its merry way. Bryce, Don and Greg went upstairs while Jeff and I stayed in the basement/game room. Someone from upstairs then said, “kkk, there’s a police car parked in front of your house.” That was about the time when I noticed someone shining a flashlight through the back door. The cop then opens the door and walks in. Jeff suddenly puts his hands in the air and the officer is telling all of us to go upstairs. It was at that time when I got upstairs that I noticed Bryce trying to act like he was asleep the whole time. He still had his shoes and jean jacket on with a FOOTBALL tucked under his arm. He was also shaking from the cold (this was around October/November), and as we all gathered in the living room, he muttered to Don, “I’m asleep.” In a memory that will stay with me even when Alzheimer’s takes every other image, Don smacks him on the head and says, “Get the fuck up asshole.” Matt and Kurt, who didn’t go out with us, were just waking up from their slumber and had no idea what the hell was going on. Their reactions were amusing, to say the least.
As the officer began asking us what we were doing, it was actually refreshing to honestly answer “no” to the question, “Were you drinking?” When asked why we ran, I think the collective answer was something like, “Because we’re idiots.” The officer believed us and brought in another cop who was waiting for us on a nearby street in case we had taken off in that direction. As they left, the said something like, “Next time you want to play football at 2 in the morning, give us a call and we’ll show you how the game is played.” We spent the next hour or two laughing about this and considering some of the other dumbshit I used to do, this was a funny story. Because I was a latch-key kid, my mom really didn’t care what I did. However, her one rule was, “I better not have the cops show up.” So you can imagine my horror whenever those law enforcement walkie-talkers were blaring in living room while the matriarch of the house slept in her upstairs bedroom.
3 p.m.
• So Fast Eddie said on SORTA RIGHT-WING RADIO today that even though he wants to raise the state sales tax, he's not really raising taxes, since he will "offset" this with property tax reductions. The same reductions he's been talking about since getting elected to a first term. And you people voted him in ... TWICE! Oh well, I guess this is how liberals feel about W. Then again, he was only voted in ... ONCE!! Thank you, Karl Rove and near-blind Jew voters.
5:30 p.m.
• So while the better half was in surgery this week, it gave me the chance to read the first chapter of Glenn Beck’s “An Inconvenient Book.” The first chapter is devoted to goofing on enviro-wackos. Nothing really surprising. However, one thing I love to do (well, maybe not love) is read mainstream media accounts of issues back in the day. Take for example this gem from Newsweek published 4/28/1975, which was featured in Beck’s Book.
This was, of course, to combat global cooling. It’s a shame I wasn’t born a few years earlier than I was because I just missed the cooling craze. All I remember from my early years of schooling was some film that featured the “last clean place on earth.” It was some hippie greenhouse run by some … well, hippie. I guess the local people, who were dressed in HAZMAT gear, got tired of him and his animals breathing all that clear air and started knocking it down. For shame.
Oh, and here are some crazy quotes that are in Beck's book. I love reading stuff like this:
From enviro-wacko/EricMM's idol Paul Ehrlich in 1969:
In 1970:
Well, he was sorta right on this one. Although you have to substitute "dead fish" with "Mexicans."
• I thought we were over nitpicking animated/G-rated movies after the “outrage” over “The Lion King” and its RACIST overtones, what with the evil hyenas being black and all, but apparently I was wrong. Now these family films are SEXIST. According to some hippie study, male characters outnumbered female characters 3-to-1 overall in the top-grossing G-rated films from 1990-2004. From the article: "Joe Kelly, co-founder of Dads & Daughters, said as much as he loves 'Toy Story,' the study made him think about the movie differently. The movie has a positive message about two characters - Tom Hanks' Woody and Tim Allen's Buzz Lightyear - overcoming their differences and working together, but it does have a flaw, Kelly said. 'It wasn't until the study that I went back and realized there's only one toy that's a female character, and it's Bo-Peep. She's standing at the window going, 'Oh, Woody, don't hurt yourself,'" Kelly said. "Not that I want 'Toy Story' to be changed. I don't think there should be any sort of gender formula. But there are other movies to be made with powerful messages featuring female characters.'
Well, whenever a kid's movie featuring a strong female character, see it a bunch of times in the theater and buy the 20 DVD versions that come out. Give movie studios a reason to make more of the same. And while you’re at it, go produce a study comparing the ratio of male-to-female evil characters on Lifetime Movies of the Week.
While there are too many men in kid’s movies, apparently there aren’t enough in the doll world. After a two-year absence, Ken is going back to Barbie. I’m not too keen on the life and times of dolls, but from what I read these two kids split up after more than 40 years of cohabitation (I'm surprised they last this long, what with Ken missing some essential parts to his male anatomy). To add insult to injury in this breakup, Barbie took off with a new Aussie mate named Blaine. But now Ken is back on the scene. What was he doing all this time? Well, according to the N.Y. Times, "Ken, heartbroken, traveled the world in search of himself, making stops in Europe and the Middle East, dabbling in Buddhism and Catholicism, teaching himself to cook and slowly weaning himself off a beach bum life."
I’ll say this: These toys have more back story than a number of movies I’ve recently seen.
Even though I’m poking fun at Barbie (and making fun of Ken’s inability to “poke” at Barbie, as well), I do feel pity for them. After all, with more and more kids avoiding toys that don’t need a microchip or URL, playing with dolls or action figures seems to be going the way of the dinosaur. I hate to sound like an old-timer, but back in my day, even though I spent way more time with my Atari 2600 than I should have, there was always a place in my heart for playing with my Star Wars action figures in the backyard.
• Look, I get that Democrats don’t like President Bush, but is it really necessary for Howard Dean to say things like “"All we ask is that we not turn into a country like Iran where the President can do anything he wants"? You are aware that in another in 2-3 more years Bush will be leaving the presidency forever. Now if he stays in the Oval Office past 2008 then I’ll join Howie and Harry Reid in calling for W.’s removal from office. But until then, can you please lay off the “dictator” talk; say he’s a miserable failure, say he sucks, say he doesn’t care about women, minorities and the poor, but please stop with whining about how we’re turning into some Third-World country where the person in charge stays that way until he A) dies, or B) is overthrown. Saying stuff like this only makes you guys look silly.
On second thought, keep up the good work.
9:15 p.m.
• OK, it's a Friday night, and I haven't had to speak to anyone at work for several days. This means it's time for a kkk LOVE FEST! That's means I'm going to say some stuff that you might not normally expect to come out of my mouth, err, through my keyboard.
Topic 1:Democrats in Congress. That's right, you heard me. I feel for you people. Look, I hate most of you fuckers, and you cater to the lazy and stupid. However, even I have to feel for you on some level.
Jesus Christ, it's only been THREE MONTHS! And Congress didn't even get back into session until JANUARY. There's plenty of time between now and '08 for these pinko commie shitwads to implement their destructive schemes. Give them some time to decorate their offices first.
Topic 2: Miss America. I can't stand Nancy Pelosi. How that dumb bitch ever got into a position of power baffles me. In fact, it is downright frightening. But this latest flap about her wanting some hippie jet to shoot herself to and from her congressional district of homos, faggots and queers is a bit too much, even for me to swallow ... ew.
I heard some bitching on RIGHT-WING RADIO about how the previous Speaker of the House didn't use that big a jet to travel around. Then again, Dennis Hastert didn't have to fly from coast to coast. I haven't been paying attention to this story, but what if you need the bigger jet for a nonstop flight from DC to California? And if she wants to bring a few politicians from her state aboard, let her. That's just less fuel that will have to be used to fly those people back and forth as well. Now if Miss America starts ordering flights for people on this aircraft without her in it, then I'll raise an eyebrow, but for now just shutup about this. And don't go bitching that this is a waste of taxpayer dollars. Jesus Christ.
OK, that's enough of the kkk Friday night LIVE FEST. I'm getting the urge to take a shower now.
5:30 p.m.
• Everything's bigger in Texas, even the people.
• I stopped reading this article after its first two paragraphs. It can't possibly get any better.
• No wonder George W. Bush doesn’t care about black people –– look at how he was treated at Coretta Scott King’s funeral. Even though she was the dead one at this house of worship, it seemed that some of the speakers at the event were trying to bury the President of the United States. Culprit A was Rev. Joseph Lowry when he said, "We know now that there were no weapons of mass destruction over there. But Coretta knew, and we know, that there are weapons of misdirection right down here.” Culprit B was former president Jimmy Carter, who wasn’t much better by bringing up “secret wire tapping” along with racially charged drivel about Hurricane Katrina.
These two dipshits said what they did with the intention of belittling the president, who was seated nearby and had to take these insults with a smile. Didn’t these people learn anything from the Paul Wellstone memorial a few years ago? Keep the insults coming, I say, and watch Bush look like a sympathetic figure more and more each and every time.
• Here's what I don't get about Democrats. Hitlery is the latest lib to say that Republicans are playing the "fear card" of terrorism to win elections. And just what in the blue hell does your party do, senator? Whenever election season comes around, what exactly do you call saying that the GOP wants to starve children, throw the elderly in the gutter, pollute the planet, cut social security, slash Medicare, encourage hate crimes, among other things? I'll save my left-leaning friends the trouble of hitting the Fast Reply button and typing in "I call it the truth -- lolz."
• A list of the top 10 tech jobs was recently released, and after looking at this list I must agree with these rankings, considering I have no idea what most of the job titles mean.
• Monday Night Football is not only moving to a new station, but it's also getting a new announcing team. Replacing Al Michaels and John Madden will be Joe Theismann, Tony Kornheiser and Mike Tirico. Eh. Don't really care. I was probably one of the only people in this world that didn't mind the Sunday Night crew of Theismann, Mike Patrick and Paul Maguire, although it wouldn't have killed them to say a team they were commenting on was "average" or "not quite up to playoff caliber." Even though I have some issues with Michael Wilbon, I wouldn't mind having him replace Theismann in this lineup. This way we could listen for three hours of him and Kornheiser bicker back and forth, much like they do on “Pardon The Interruption.” However, I'd be sure to have the TV on mute whenever the Philadelphia Eagles are slated to appear during a telecast; the knob-slobbing of Donovan McNabb would be too much, even for Patrick to bear.
• The Brazilian government is planning on passing out 25 million condoms during the country's Carnival holiday, which is scheduled to start on February 25. Two things: 1) Even though the rate of failure among condoms is debated, let’s just assume for this instance that the failure rate is three percent. That means if you go to this festival, get a rubber from the government and do your thing, you could have one of the 750,000 that won’t stop your boys from getting out, or from anything else getting inside of you. 2) I wouldn’t eat government cheese, why would I slide something onto my winky that was given to me by the State?
• So there I was scouring the Internet looking for a photo of Britney Spears driving around with her kid sitting on her lap when I came across this blurb: “The paparazzi came to Britney Spears aid this week when the car which she was driving broke down on a busy road in Malibu. According to reports, Spears was driving her husband's Ferrari near her Malibu home when it suddenly cut out, leaving her stranded on a very busy highway.”
Her husband’s Ferrari? Uh-huh.
Oh, and here is that stupid picture.
• So USA Today is speaking out against those who are cowering in the face Muslims offended by cartoons. In a February 8 editorial titled, “Shameful Appeasement, the article says, “What's clear is that East and West are not just cultures apart, but centuries, and that certain elements of the Muslim world would like to drag us back into the Dark Ages. What is also clear is that the West's own leaders, both in Europe and the USA, as well as many of our own journalists, have been weak-spined when it comes to defending the principles of free expression that the artists in Denmark were exploring.”
Now after reading this editorial, you would think that USA Today would stand in solidarity with its Global Media brethren and show it’s readers what the fuss is all about with these drawings? In a February 7 USA Today’s Life section column, Deputy World Editor Jim Michaels said, "(At USA Today) we concluded that we could cover the issue comprehensively without republishing the cartoon, something clearly offensive to many Muslims. It's not censorship, self or otherwise.”
• And speaking of these offensives cartoons, I have come up with a way to bring everybody together on this issue. Maybe even Allah will chill out for a few minutes before getting mad at us infidels again.
9:30 p.m.
• For those that don’t know who Myron Cope is, he was a longtime broadcaster for the Steelers until he retired a year or so ago. If you ever heard this annoying, grating voice on Steelers highlights from some “local voices” segment on ESPN or some other national sports media, chances are that was Myron. He was one of those guys you either adored or hated. I, of course, was indifferent. That was until he got into Mario Lemieux’s business by writing an editorial a few days ago telling him to keep the Penguins in Shittsburgh because it is the “right thing to do.” Here's what he wrote.
Hey Myron. Fuck you.
Put up millions of dollars to keep a team you played with for so many years, then you can tell Mario what “the right thing” is to do. And by the way, the Rooney family did threaten to move the Steelers back in the 1990s if their new stadium demands weren’t met. I’m not hating on the Rooneys, and they are good owners. However, don’t you even try to pull that pseudo-sentimental shit with me. When the Pirates and Steelers were in danger of leaving the area, the local media went apeshit with threats of doom and gloom if the Pirates relocated to Raleigh. City leaders didn’t give a damn about the Penguins until other areas began to court them. It’s called the free market. Deal with it, bitches.
6 p.m.
• Anna Nicole Smith is dead. Don’t know why I care, but it’s being broadcast everywhere. I never liked her. If that old guy didn’t put her in his will before nodding off, then she shouldn’t have gotten a dime.
• So North Carolina beat Duke last night. Yay. Duke is one of those teams you either love or hate, and I am the latter. I don’t even care much for UNC, but if I have to choose between the two, I’m the Tarheels through and through. Why am I talking about this? To segway to a Duke alumn currently in the NBA.
• Gee, what a surprise. Today’s Around the Horn and Pardon the Interruption panelists expressed SHOCK and OUTRAGE over the comments of Philadelphia 76ers forward Shavlik Randolph, who said about John Amaechi.
Awesome. Simply awesome. Here’s what the rest of his quote said:
I always wondered how a gay guy could get away with staying in the closet when in the shower room after practice – wouldn’t there be certain … things … at attention? Not that I’d look. As long as someone doesn’t bring his gayness on me, I’m fine, too. Although I have to wonder how you can bring gayness on somebody. I guess you’ll know when it happens.
• Normally I’d be against such stupid regulation, but you know what: go ahead and ban iPods or whatever it is you fascists want to do. You latte-sippin’, hybrid-drivin’, soy-lovin’ New Yorkers are all about limiting the pleasure and enjoyment of other people (smokers, trans-fat eaters), it’s about time you got a taste of your own medicine.
Think about it. You have little Bobby crossing the street with his headphones blasting and can’t hear the horn of an approaching motorist. Suddenly, BLAM! Won’t you think of the children instead of your own greedy listening pleasure?
