• Cool. Jim Cramer’s radio show is going to make it’s debut on the Shittsburgh air waves in early March. Now I’ll have an alternative to the days I don’t feel like listening to Rush or Rome from 1-2 p.m. When I lived in Ohio, Cramer had his show broadcast from 6-7 p.m., and whenever I was driving home late from work I always had it on. I watch his CNBC show every now and then, and it’s entertaining, although every time I tune in there seems to be a new special sound effect or three.
• This headline says it all: “Carefully drawn political maps help incumbents.” Get the hell out of here. Next thing you know you’ll tell me that the political party in charge draws up districts that favor their re-election efforts.
• There’s some hippie poll about the weirdest street names; my pick came in at number five: The intersection of Clinton and Fidelity in Houston. And just to appeal my hippie friends reading this, the intersection of Bush and WMD in Dallas would have made the list, but nobody could find it on the map.
• I don’t get the whole Anna Nicole Smith trial regarding her former grandpa, err, husband’s estate. I’m hoping the Supreme Court takes up this case so I can stop hearing about it. Anna, you married an old guy for his money. The old guy died and didn’t leave you his estate. Get over it. Next time, marry a younger billionaire – maybe someone in his 60s – so you can live in luxury for a few years more.
• So Ken Lay is going broke. That’s a shame. I’d be interested to see what his resume looks like for when he goes job hunting in 50 or so years from now after he gets out of jail.
• I guess now the next thing to ask Jeeves is what he’s going to do for money now that he’s been dropped from a search engine I didn’t know was still in existence. I used Ask.com years ago before realizing it wasn’t necessary to type in an entire question to find something on-line. During the early ‘00s, I remember reading about this other little search engine that was supposedly the “best-kept secret on the Internet.” It was called Gaggle, or Oogle, or something. I wonder what ever happened to it?
• Relief funds for Hurricane Katrina victims are now “dwindling.” I wonder why. Could it be because people don’t want to donate their money to recipients who’ll spend the aid on porno and diamond rings? Nah.
7:30 p.m.
• I don't know how Smues can do it -- I'm already sick of the snow and it hasn't really been all that bad a season (so far).
• Bad break for the Rockets. I've always liked Yao and T-Mac -- even though neither can get out of the first round of the playoffs.
• I have no clue who any of these people are, but Mark Madden said on his radio show today that he didn't like the trades. He follows this stuff much more than I do. All I have to say is that it feels weird for a Pittsburgh team to be active at the trade deadline trying to get talent for the here and now rather than dumping payroll and snagging "prospects."
• Now I really don't care for the Black Crowes, but shouldn't you at least listen to a band's entire album before giving a review?
I remember years ago a local film critic panned Halloween H2O but gave an inaccurate body count because he showed up to the film late. SPOILERZ~! Myers offed a couple kids in the early minutes and the critic made some remark about how so few people died and counted two less dead than there actually was (or whatever the miscount turned out to be). SPOILERZ~! That's all I got for this.
8 p.m.
• God I love Drudge. Where else can you find hard-hitting journalism like this?
• So I heard a little while ago that some hippie zookeeper in Denver got killed by a jag -- the animal, not the car. OMG a WILD ANIMAL would KILL a HUMAN? Shocking. But wait, it gets DEEPER!
There are so many jokes in the five paragraphs above that I don't know where to begin. My favorite, though, is the headline to this story: Killer Jaguar Had Mean Twin Named Osama
"Killer" Jaguar. What do you think a Jaguar is -- a pacifist?
2:30 p.m.
• The Oscars were last night? No shit. Martin Scorsese finally won. Uh, yay, and stuff. Al Gore won for his Global Warming shit-fest? Wow, I'm surprised. With him and the Dixie Terrorists both winners in '06 I'm stunned, simply stunned. Good thing Al did air his documentary 30 years ago, or the intellectual elites hell-bent on ridding the world of global cooling would have laughed at him.
• LOL -- forever stamps? Too bad enough smart people will buy these things in bulk and wait until the price of postage really spikes.
This got a laugh out of me.
Yeah, and your union costs have nothing to do with your bloated expense reports. I used to defend the post office a number of times, but ever since I had to start dealing with them more often my tolerance has grown less and less. My highlight came when I got a piece of postage returned because they couldn't determine whether an address number was a "5" or "6." OK, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt: you couldn't tell the difference (even though you can). However, there was also another 5 and 6 on this package, and just by taking five seconds out of your busy schedule, you could have found out. Also, you could always have checked to see the residence of each address and find out which name went with each address.
I don’t consider myself an expert on the punk-rock scene, although I do like listening to some music in this genre from time to time, (especially a certain song from the Ramones). One album I like listening to is “Never Mind the Bollocks Here’s the Sex Pistols.” While I do know some news and notes about the Ramones, which I’ll talk about later, I don’t know much about the Sex Pistols other than they lasted for one album and their one member Sid Vicious died from a drug overdose. However, I have to say that whenever I see Johnny Rotten on television, I usually put down the remote and see what kind of trouble he’s getting himself into, whether he’s on the now-cancelled “Politically Incorrect” or “Judge Judy.”
One memory that sticks out involving Rotten was when he did this show on Vh1 back in 2000. In it he covered the 2000 election season, and to my surprise it was splendidly done. In fact, it was my favorite analysis program covering the '00 election (not to mention it's one of the few that I still remember). In the span of 30 minutes he had an intelligent conversation with Newt Gingrich (?!), made fun of some pseudo-hippies protesting outside a Convention site and took the high ground when questioning some pro-life demonstrators. It wasn’t at all what I expected this episode to be like, especially the segment involving the abortion protestors.
Anyway, the reason for my Sex Pistols nostalgia is because they recently told the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to take their induction and shove it. Of course this begs the question as to what the R&R HOF would expect one of the renowned punk bands of all time to do when told of their inclusion into this institution. I don’t get this hippie enshrinement to the music industry, and I couldn’t name one person who has been inducted into this Hall of Fame. However, if people travel to visit this place, and the proceeds put a few extra tourism dollars in Cleveland’s coffers, then who am I to denounce it?
I mentioned the Ramones earlier, and for those that don’t know by now, my TSM handle of “kkktookmybabyaway” is a title off one of their songs. The first time I heard this song was during some hippie MTV special on RACISM back in the day. In this “special report” they followed the antics of some idiot teen skinhead that was planning some retarded rally at a local mall or something. At the end of the show, they played “The KKK Took My Baby Away” while giving us an update on how his rally fared. I can’t remember the exact details, but I think only two or three people showed up alongside him, and they ended up getting arrested or beaten up (or both).
One thing I didn’t realize about the Ramones until a few years ago was Johnny Ramone’s conservatism, which is astounding considering back the 1980’s Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher were considered Mr. and Mrs. Anti-Christ to many people who the Ramones played music with and in front of. Then again, punk always seemed to be an alternative to mainstream culture, so in a way it would makes sense to have one of its forefathers be an unapologetic Republican. One of my favorite quotes from Johnny before he passed away a few years ago came from this article:
So I was watching ESPN today and saw some stupid ad talking about how the Dominican Republic or some other second-tier country that's really good at baseball had an AMAZING RUN in the first-ever WBC. The title of this ad was something like "Great WBC moments." This is the SECOND FUCKING TIME this baseball exhibition has been played. Even the Fu-Schnickens went through two albums before putting out a "greatest hits" CD.
8 p.m.
• So I talked about this show a while back, but tonight I actually got around to watching a few episodes. Oh. My. God.
But the best part was the eHarmony ads during the commercial break of a program which featured a bride with dentures and a groom who spells his beloved's name while peeing on the street.
• I found this in the "odd" story section, but I don't find it strange at all. In fact, I think it's a good idea.
I remember seeing a TV show that talked about this girl raising funds for the local police dogs to wear bullet-proof vests. Hey, these animals are many times the first to run into a skirmish so they should get protection. And if you think I'm being an animal-rights wacko, remember all the money spent training these K-9 cops and that some simple protection could mean the difference between several more years on the job and a quick trip to the big doghouse in the sky. Besides, many police dogs contribute more to society than the trash they're often urged to take down.
2 p.m.
• Well this morning on ESPN I saw Stephen Smith talking NASCAR with Tim Cowlishaw. It was an … interesting … moment.
• Oh, this should be interesting.
I bet Serbia is going to get a really nasty letter from the U.N. letting them know how mad that faceless governing body is at them. And of course they're going to convict -- think the U.N. wants a bunch of angry Muslims declaring jihad? Well, at least a bunch of angry Muslims (sorry for being redundant) declaring jihad on them?
It’s odd. I like buying DVD’s, but I really don’t frolic in the Special Features sections of these purchases, especially the commentary areas. I don’t know why I do this, but whenever I put in a movie, even when I intend to access its special features, I then just feel like watching the movie instead. Well, I’m trying to get the most out of this medium, and I think I discovered a way to listen to commentaries without having to sit there, listen to off-stage voices and watch a movie/television show that is essentially on mute.
For the last few weeks I have been having commentaries on a variety of programs while doing other things around the house, such as reading a newspaper, doing the dishes or paying off bills. It’s kinda like listening to the radio in this respect, although I try to pay more attention to this dialogue than when I have some RIGHT-WING RADIO guy going off about how liberals suck.
I recently finished the commentaries of the first season of The Shield, and I liked how Shawn Ryan tried to get a variety of actors and other workers to accompany him on the episodes. It was also impressive to have a commentary for each episode. Imagine my disappointment when I realized that there were only several commentaries for The Shield’s second season. Even though there were only four tracks in this DVD, two of them were really enjoyable. One of them was the final track for the season, and it involved Ryan talking with some FX network people. It was funny to hear them talk about how hyped reruns of The Practice, Alley McBeal and Buffy the Vampire Slayer were on FX, but then after a week when the ratings tanked they blew up this not-ready-for-prime-time lineup. I remember back when this happened FX pimped these shows for months only to notice that a shortly after their premiere the shows were scattered about in various timeslots.
The other commentary I enjoyed was the first one for the season, which featured Michael Chiklis. Odds are the guy is a liberal, (I have no proof of this; I’m just banking on this considering the Hollywood Democrat-to-Republican ratio), but in this commentary he said that he doesn’t want to give any personal opinions regarding current events because he doesn’t want it to seem like he wants to tell the audience what to think. Now as surprising as this may sound, I really don’t have much of a problem with celebrities spewing left-wing garbage. My only two “problems” with this practice is when 1) they get pissy when people that don’t agree with their opinions make fun of them, or 2) when they espouse these viewpoints during what I consider to be inappropriate times. One example of this was when Kellen Winslow, during his induction speech into the NFL Hall of Fame, started saying how Affirmative Action shouldn’t be abolished. Anther instance was when Cameron Manheim dedicated some hippie award to every Senator that voted against convicting Bill Clinton during his impeachment scandal.
Are these people free to voice their opinions on these subjects? Sure. But I’m allowed to voice my opinion in telling that bitch to take that trophy she’s holding and stick it up her fat ass. Freedom of speech is a two-way street.
Anyway, another commentary on The Shield annoyed me a bit, and that was the one featuring the show’s only female writer. In season one, a number of commentaries talked about how the writing team was an all-male lineup, so of course when season two came around I’m sure hiring a female writer was on the list of things for The Shield to do. Well they hired one, Kim Clements, and Christ almighty was she annoying on this track. It seemed that every other minute she was laughing in this annoying high pitch. You may be a good writer, but damn, stay away from the microphone. Then again, I don’t keep my distance from a keyboard, so maybe those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
I love bosses. Especially the ones that don’t know what the fuck they are doing.
I have been at my current place of employment for more than two years. When I first started working, I was told that I had pretty much a flex schedule, meaning that as long as I put in 40 hours a week, eight hours a day, I was in the clear. Fair enough. Now this job is about 25-30 miles from my house, and I have to brave two Interstates in order to travel to and from my job. I soon found out that an 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. shift was going to involve a shitload of traffic. I then asked if it would be OK if I came in earlier. I was told that would be fine. After testing out what traffic is like early in the morning, I settled on working a 6:30 a.m.–3 p.m.
Working this schedule is good because not only do I avoid the early morning jams, but also coming home isn’t nearly as bad as it would be if I was out on the road at 4:30 p.m. Well, even though I got my work shift OK’d by people much more powerful than me, and even though there are two other co-workers who work the same hours I do, and have had their schedule for years, everybody is shocked when they call my office at 3:05 p.m. and I don’t answer because I’m in the car heading home.
I have worked this shift for two years now. There is no surprise to when I come in and when I leave. Now it’s bad enough when my one idiot boss decides to give me assignments to do at 2:50 p.m., but every couple of months we have a bunch of meetings that are scheduled for out-of-town representatives. Every three months a bunch of people come in from out of state and spend the day in meetings with us. There’s one meeting that I have to attend, and it’s funny because for the first year I worked here I didn’t come to these meetings. The reason? Nobody told me I was part of the meeting. However, what’s funnier is that this one meeting that I have to attend is ALWAYS schedules for 2-3 p.m., and it is always at least an hour long. I’m also never told ahead of time when these meeting are scheduled. Normally I really wouldn’t care about being out of the loop, but the problem is that I carpool with the better half, so whenever these meetings come around she has to find another way to get home.
Well today was a fun day. When I found out this morning that my meeting was at 2:30 p.m. I called the better half and she made other arrangements to get home. I then sat at this 90-minute meeting and afterward did some work that was asked of me by some out-of-town reps. A workday that normally ends at 3 p.m. was extended three hours, which is fine for me because that means three hours of comp time.
This is why I like working for an hourly rate. Sure getting a salary may seem more ‘professional” but if you get paid by the hour, you have a much better opportunity to resist getting buttfucked by your employers on time worked. I strongly recommend to anyone employed in the white-collar world to not only keep a log of when you arrive and leave your job, but to also keep a journal of what you do while on the clock. I know already that when I submit my timecard on Monday I’m going to be questioned about the extra hours I’ll have written down. Hey dipshit, I leave at 3 p.m. The meeting ended at 4 p.m. and then I was asked to burn several CD-ROMS, make 400 copies of a double-sided brochure, send off several e-mails containing attachments, make a few phone calls and update several web pages. You think I did all that shit for free just because I normally go home at 3 p.m.? Kiss my ass. I learned my lesson six months into this job when I spent about a week out of state on work-related matters. I busted my ass for 16 hours a day, waking up at 6 a.m. each morning and working into to middle of the night. When I got back, I requested to use some of the time I “banked” to move into the house that was recently purchased by the better half and me. You would have thought I said I wanted to fuck my boss’s wife with the reactions I got.
“Oh, really. Now what makes you think you deserve those three days off?”
“Because I worked 14-16 hours/day for four days, and you said I could bank these hours.”
“Oh really now?”
You fucking asshole.
Ever since then, I’ve kept a journal of what I do and when I arrive and leave work. It’s funny now when they ask me about what they think is a discrepancy on my timecard and then I whip out several sheets of documented sheets explaining what I did during my time for that day. After a few incidents, they have pretty much left me alone, but even when you think you are in the clear, it’s still wise to keep your journal because you never know when they’re going to try and Jew you out of some work time.
I should have learned my lesson when I was a high school puke working at Burger King and got screwed at that place, but that’s another story for another time.
11 p.m.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 39: Dames
The former head guy at this place, I never had a problem with Dames. In fact, the only “drama” we ever had was after kkk Bowl I when I posted a picture of Janet Jackson’s tit as a reward for Gert T’s championship run (I got a PM from him telling me it was NSFW). Did I bitch and moan about having my creative freedom squashed? Did I post several pictures of spiders, hoping to scare away this little Hitler? No. I simply took the picture down and said “Oops. I thought it was acceptable.” If memory serves, this former Big Apple resident went to Connecticut for some sales job and was doing better for himself. Hopefully, he’s doing OK. Sure during the Dames era there was a bit of craziness, but that’s part of the charm of this little corner of the Internet. And, like it or not, without Dames, we wouldn’t be here today showing fellow posters pictures that we like, bitching about the latest RAW broadcast or saying how much this place sucks.
And now a word or two from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
From SFA Jack:
From Cancer Marney:
10:15 p.m.
• Damn Republicans. If fathers of certain governors weren't Nazi loyalists, they had five wives more than 100 years ago.
Uh, OK. So if Mitt gets elected we could have First Ladies? At least Barney Frank isn't running for the White House.
• AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Seriously, I hate these fucking things. Yeah, we took your land and brought you over on ships several hundred years ago. Our bad. You know why we did all this shit? Because we could. Humans are fucked up. What do you want me to do about it? But hey, we said we're sorry, so it's all good now.
10 p.m.
• OK, so today was my grandma’s funeral. Yesterday at the viewing, I told my old man that if he needs me to be a pallbearer then all he has to do is say so. Seeing how grandma had 20+ grandchildren, several great-grandchildren and one great-great grandchild, I could understand how it might be difficult to whittle the list down to a half-dozen. I figured that since he was handling all the arrangements, this might help him out a bit. When planning large-scale family events, you tend to overlook a number of things. By letting him know I would be ready to help in any way and all he’d have to do is just let me know. Well, last night he asked me to be a pallbearer. No problem, or so I thought.
Today, we had SEVEN pallbearers. But that’s not the best part. Right after the funeral service took place at the cemetery, he singles me out and starts bitching because I … are you ready?
You sure?
Postitive?
OK, you’ve been warned.
He started bitching because I DIDN’T WEAR A TRENCHCOAT. (Or was it overcoat? Eh, I can’t remember.) I was stunned, especially since he did this while other relatives were still around me. My response: Well since I disgraced the family I guess I’ll just go straight home (there was a wake-thingy event at a local restaurant to take place after the services). Let’s just say it’s going to be quite a while before I feel like speaking to this man again. Oh, and for the record, the other six (!?) pallbearers didn’t dress in this requested garb either. I think it’s now relevant to mention that this is the same person who, when I informed him shortly before my wedding that I didn’t receive any RSVPs from his list, said to me “well, they don’t respond to those things.” Needless to say the look on Mrs. kkk’s face when my stepmother called the day after the guest list had to be finalized and said, “Is it too late to invite anyone?” Oh, and about one-fourth of those people that were “invited late” either no-showed or gave their invitation/reservation to someone else.
And people wonder why I stay away from my family as much as possible.
Believe it or not, I try to be an understanding person. However, even I have my limits.
At my workplace, I am our organization’s web master, which is a scary thought considering I don’t know what the hell I’m doing half the time. Actually, it’s not that bad, but I am by no means an expert on this Internet thing. I can build a Web site in Dreamweaver, but don’t tell me I need to write HTML code or else I’ll sit in the corner and suck on my thumb while holding my security blanket with the other hand.
About a month ago I got a letter from Verizon DSL saying that they were, “Migrating your web site to an improved hosting platform provided by Verizon SUPERPAGES.com,” beginning February 17. Your means of accessing your web site and email account will change.” Later on in the letter, they said, “You will receive two e-mails immediately after the migration.”
Well, I have been keeping an eye out for any Verizon e-mail notices up until February 17, not wanting to miss out on any important updates. So far nothing. On February 17 I was checking my inbox and junk mail folder thinking maybe a Verizon e-mail ended up there by mistake. Still nothing. (Although e-mails about enlarging my penis constantly get through to my inbox, I’ve noticed that other messages that have actual relevance in my life don’t make the cut. Then again, adding a few inches onto little kkk can’t hurt.)
I had to leave at 2:30 p.m. Friday, February 17 for an appointment. (My work schedule is 6:30 a.m.-3 p.m.) When I came back Tuesday (I had Presidents Day off), I found that I couldn’t access my e-mail, and neither could any of my co-workers. I called Verizon, and they said they don’t deal with e-mail/Internet matters anymore, that I would have to call the SUPERPAGES department. I called the SUPERPAGES people up and they said that they migrated all of our e-mail/Web site stuff, and that they sent an e-mail letting me know of the new password I was supposed to use to get into my e-mail account. The problem though was that this e-mail message letting me know of my password was in my e-mail bin that I couldn’t get into because I NEEDED TO KNOW THE NEW PASSWORD. After telling the tech guy this, he gave me the password and I got into my new and improved SUPERPAGES account. I noticed that they sent this goddamn message at 2:50 p.m. on a Friday afternoon right before what was to be a three-day weekend for many employees. You’re supposed to fire people at the end of a workweek, not give them technical information that won’t be accessible in another day or two.
So after spending the early part of the week getting everybody’s e-mail accounts up and running again (as well as putting together the final touches of the monthly publication I mail out at about this time every month), I then went to the Web site and discovered everything that was password-protected is now free as a bird. Yippie. I then realized that I had to re-register the 200+ names that were granted access to various sections of the site. Now, for the trifecta, I discovered that the cgi bins needed re-done I know some of you reading this are computer geeks and took cgi bin/form creating as a remedial elective in school, but you’ll have better luck teaching a retard to swim by throwing him in the deep end of a pool than telling me over the phone that certain codes need changed from original IP addresses to new IP addresses, among other things.
I’m not going to rag on the customer support people because they’ve been great, especially this one chick I’m talking to now who has had to put me on hold several times already because I don’t think she knows what she’s doing (which makes two of us for that matter). I’d rather interact with someone like this than some techie asshole that can’t believe I don’t know HTML as a second language. Besides, this is giving me ample time to talk to all you hippies instead of getting any real work done at my job.
I also don't want to rag on this new SUPERPAGES thing, because from what I have checked out, there seems to be some neat stuff I can perform that I couldn't with the previous Verizon Web account. It's just that couldn't these people have notified me of these changes when I wasn't home for the weekend?
1:15 p.m.
• Well I guess I should be somewhat proud of myself for doing this database shit now rather than waiting until Sunday to hurry up and do this crap. It'd be even better if I knew what I was doing.
2:30 p.m.
• For those of you living single, read onward. For those married, you’ll feel my pain.
So when the better half had her second part-time job, she donated to her local church. No problem with that. That money was hers to do with it what she wanted. Then she got preggers and stopped working the second job. I have told her all along that I don’t want to donate to her church until we get our financial house in order, and for as far as we have come, there is still much work to be done. Of course, with the biggest blights – the credit card bills she racked up over the years – out of the picture there have been times I had to remind her of the other debts such as our school loans, car payment and mortgage. Well today she asked if she could do the giving-to-Jesus thing again, and once again my response was “I don’t want to do this until my school loan and the car get paid off.” The following exchange then took place. You can figure out who is who.
“Well, I really won’t be donating our money.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll be using my mom’s money for when she pays for her half of the cell phone bill.” (We’re on some family plan with her parents and we pay the actual bill while her parents give us half in cash.)
“But then who’s paying for their half of the cell phone bill.”
*silence*
Damn you, Jesus.
9 p.m.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 40: Alfdogg
He's a decent enough mod for me, and he helped out during the most recent kkk Bowl IV season. In fact, I think he handled it better than me -- want a job based at TSM with no pay? Wait, you already have one. Shit.
And now a word from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
From Lovecraft:
• Thank Christ he lost. Now I don't have to hear the debate as to his "win streak" is legit because he lost in non-PGA events during this time.
7:15 p.m.
• Wow, I didn't see this coming.
Get it? "Didn't see this coming"? They're blind. OMGROTFLMAO~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I'm pathetic.
Actually, this brings me back to a memory back in my theater employment days. You see, there was this wheelchair-bound guy named Dave, and while nobody liked him, they always tolerated him. Fuck that. I treat everybody the same – poorly. One day he brought in this article about how he appeared at this public meeting to protest the government not wanting to slope curbs. I played devil’s advocate and said that if you sloped street curbs that it would be harder for blind people to figure out that they were wading out into traffic. Dave didn’t like this and tried to run me over with his wheelchair. I thought the whole thing was funny, but when my head manager heard of this he got pissed at Dave. Now I know this guy hated me, but I think his faux outrage was an excuse to avoid Dave. Hey, it gave me the chance to ignore him, too, which I took full advantage of. He later got a bunch of people to give him money for some “fundraiser,” only for it to mysteriously “disappear.”
• Speaking of money vanishing, the better half’s out-of-control drug addict niece just got fired from the pizza job she worked at for less than two weeks. She was being “groomed” for a shift manager position and got into two shouting matches with other employees where the term “mother fucker” was used quite a bit, along with ending up $200 short in her drawer one night. $200. Yeah, I’m sure she put a $20 in the wrong slot in the cash register.
7 p.m.
• Well, I almost got in a bit of trouble today. As I was driving in Shittsburgh during the afternoon I ran a stop sign, not giving these pedestrians the right of way. Now I could say that being in a part of town I haven’t graced my presence with, coupled with the stop sign being shielded by a dumpster, I could just say “Fuck you” to the pedestrians I came within 12 feet of running over. At a nearby stoplight I made eye contact with the motorist in the other lane, who motioned to me to roll down my window. He commented to me that those people behind me flagged a police car to pull me over. I shrugged my shoulders and said that I didn’t see the stop sign and got ready to take my medicine. When the light turned green, I made my turn. I noticed the cop car behind me, but his lights weren’t on. I pulled over to the side anyways and motioned to him to approach me. He rolled down his window and I explained that I wasn’t familiar with the area and that I missed the sign. He seemed to understand my plight and said “no problem.” Had I been going 30 miles over the speed limit, hell-bent on getting to where I was going with and not giving a crap about those in my way, then I would understand being pulled over. But when you’re driving in a city, especially on a Friday afternoon, it’s a freakin’ zoo. Whenever I’m a pedestrian in the situation, I always act like oncoming motorists haven’t seen me yet. I get that pedestrians have the “right of way,” but would you rather cede this “right” and live to walk another day, or stand up for your “rights” and fight a losing bout with a vehicle weighing much more than you?
• So George W. Hitler now wants terrorists to have a free pass into the U.S. via ports. Nice. It’s funny to hear people like Hitlery and Schmuck Jewmer sound like they are all about national security. Actually, I’m in a bit of a bind. Do I side with Hitlery or do I side with Jimmy Carter, who supports the President on this one? God help me.
About the United Arab Emirates: I don’t know much about them. I remember some soccer tournament (I think it was the World Cup) and saw their team running around in those cute little turbans. I’m sure they hate us, but only two of the 9/11 hijackers were from this place, so I guess that’s not too bad on the Let’s-Kill-The-Infidels-For-Allah scale.
Oh, and W., you haven’t vetoed a goddamn thing in your term-and-a-half and you threaten to whip out the ol’ Veto Pen over this? Didn’t do it with so-called campaign-finance reform. Didn’t do it with that Medicare Drug Prescription Plan. Didn’t do it with one of the several bloated budgets we’ve had since 2000. But you threaten to do it over THIS? Oy.
But of course we’re missing the biggest point of all regarding this story: Forbidding the sale of a port is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male.
• I wonder if these hippies that don’t believe in offing a convicted rapist/murderer share similar views with those pharmacists who refuse to sell the morning-after pill? For the record, I think if a pharmacist is working for a company they should have to abide by company policy. If that means giving out the baby-killing pill, then make the transaction. If the pharmacist owns the store, then he or she can sell what they want.
Instead of getting the State to off a criminal, and waste millions of dollars in appeals and retarded “protests” like this, can’t we just let the private sector take care of this? Give Bubbba a carton of smokes and leave him alone with the condemned in the shower room for 15 minutes. Case resolved.
• I hate these kinds of articles: Since when do health-care costs go down? Christ, these are just as bad as when the local media do stories about the increase in cable costs or the annual rise in university tuitions. The real story would be if these costs went down.
• Detroit is, surprise, having money troubles, and this means that the city is being forced to sign over its zoo to a third party. No, I’m not talking about Section 8 housing. I’m talking about lions and tigers. Er, wait a minute. I’m not talking about the city’s sports teams either. I’m referring to that community that fences in all those wild animals. There I go again talking about Section 8 again. Damn.
Well, anyway, one of the council members, Martha Reeves, is thinking that some RACISM might be involved, saying, "The symbolism is that Detroit is a black city and that we’re unable to govern ourselves. So we need an overseer, the state legislature, or what have you, to step in and tell us what we must do and how to do it."
Uh, Martha, have you ever been to Shittsburgh? They’re not much better than Detroit. Actually, Detroit is one of the few cities Shittsburgh can still make fun of. Anyway, over here in PA my area has had to have a state oversight board because this place still lives and spends like it’s 1970 and the mills are humming along. Hell, on the other side of Pennsylvania, the Philadelphia school system got taken over by the State due to their incompetence.
So before you go using the RACISM card, take a trip to Shittsburgh and see for yourself that whites can ruin a city just as good as your people up in Motown. Oh, wait. I said "your people," which was intended to talk about Detroit's city council, not black people in general. Oh dear, I hope that doesn't make me a RACIST.
6:45 p.m.
• So Jim Rome’s ESPN show and Around the Horn got all PC (as usual) by everyone going hooray for Illinois getting rid of the Indian mascot. Jesus Christ, get over yourselves. Don’t equate this with the white man wiping out the tribe of Chief I-Was-Stupid-For-Letting-Those-Crackers-Off-The-Boat. I feel NO sympathy for the hippie Indians. They had the home field advantage and blew it. My people came over, they saw, they kicked ass. Now I’m supposed to feel sorry? Fuck that. Yeah, whitey is a fucked up people, but it’s not like the Indians were these heavenly pacifists: they could tear shit up when they wanted. And besides, with the recent winter freeze I went through, there’s no way I want to live in a wigwam.
• I’ve been hearing for a few weeks that the Bears head coach Lovie Smith is one of the lowest paid NFL head coaches in the league, if not the lowest-paid. Must be RACISM! Or it might be that he’s employed by a bunch of Jews. Here’s how I see it: Lovie, you seem to be doing the right thing. Just keep your mouth shut and coach. Take the million-and-change and win another divisional title. Then when your contract ends go out there and get paid like a mo’ fo’. You’re a coach, not a player. You don’t have to worry about tearing an ACL on the field. You have a good team in a shitty division. Build up your worth and laugh in the face of Bears’ management when they try to low-ball you with no leverage at this time next year. I’ve heard from media reports that you like it in Chicago. If that’s the case, then you’ll have to live with the fact that you work for a bunch of tightwads. Believe me, I feel your pain. Well, maybe not so much since I don’t make seven figures, but I’m not here to do the class envy thing. You’re worth more than what you’re getting paid. You have to decide if getting shafted in the pocketbook is worth staying. For me it wouldn’t be, but you know much more about your situation than I do.
• So yesterday was Ash Wednesday, and even though I’m a confirmed Lutheran I still have to do the no-meat shit since the better half is as Catholic as youth sodomy. Of course, while beginning my meatless meal, she yells because I’m having double-noodle soup.
Her: “What’s that?”
Me: “Double Noodle Soup. You know, the kind you don’t eat anymore and I have to finish off.”
Her: “OMG IT HAS CHICKEN IN IT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: “It says ‘double noodle.”
Her: “IT HAS CHICKEN BROTH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: “Well then I guess I’m going to hell.”
Chicken broth? You have to fill an empty Campbell’s can up with water to cook this shit. Even sausage factories allow a certain amount of rat poop into their product. I’m sure God has some quality-control exemptions. If not, then oh well. I’m actually hoping that I get past the Pearly Gates thanks to some package deal I’m hoping Mrs. kkk gets for all the religious shit she does.
1 p.m.
• I don't know why I thought of this just now, but those mobile phone ads featuring Dwyane Wade and Charles Barkley make me laugh, especially the one where the blonde chick thinks Chuck is Wade's dad.
8:30 a.m.
• Uh-oh. O.J. Simpson has to give up some of his loot to the Goldman family.
I hope this doesn't make him mad enough to kill. Allegedly, of course.
1:30 p.m.
• So I didn’t go into work today. Yeah, the weather was a bit on the shitty side, but I’ve driven in MUCH worse conditions. I think a bigger factor was the fact I needed a break. It’s only been a month, but there’s a SHITLOAD of work to do, and with news of Mrs. kkk’s miscarriage earlier this month, I’ve been going batshit. I generally take “mental health days” when I have nothing to do at work for a day or two, but I’m not sure how that sort of thing will play out here since the deadlines are much more varied than my previous job. Well, this wasn’t exactly going to be a “mental health” day because I was going to do some database work at home, but of course it’s 1 p.m. and I haven’t even started on it. This is NOT a surprising development for me. What did I do this morning? Watch the last hour of Mike and Mike while doing the dishes and vegging out watching ESPN’s first take show. Real productive there, genius.
Why am I typing this? Because while watching “First Take” I heard one of the biggest whoppers from the four-letter network in quite some time. There was an interview with some guy named Scoop Jackson dealing with the latest Air Jordan shoes or something. I never owned a pair of Jordans because I HATED the Bulls growing up. Well, the issue of kids beating up (even killing, if memory serves) others for Jordans back in the 1990s, and ol’ Scoop said that was because the shoes were hard to find – not because they cost too much.
…
The topper came moments later when Scoop said that Jordans were very popular among urban youth. Yeah, the same urban youth that regularly shell out $100+ for a pair of shoes.
Then they talked about the recent NBA trades and which teams got what they needed. Uh, New Orleans is the TOP TEAM … in the WEST?! Just goes to show how much I pay attention to the league. Well, I might as well do my in-depth reviews of the recent big NBA transactions because I know that’s what you expect from me.
Milwaukee recalls Ramon Sessions from Tulsa of the D-League.
Who?
San Antonio assigns Ian Mahinmi to Austin of the D-League.
What?
L.A. Lakers acquire Pau Gasol and a 2010 second-round draft pick from Memphis in exchange for Kwame Brown, Javaris Crittenton, Aaron McKie, the draft rights to Marc Gasol and first round picks in 2008 and 2010; Lakers sign D.J. Mbenga to second 10-day contract.
I heard about this one. The Spurs coach got pissed over this trade, so I’ll say it helps the Lakers. And what’s this I hear about them being tops in their division?
San Antonio signs Damon Stoudamire.
Uh, this is the guard that won a March Madness title in Arizona and then got busted for pot, right?
Portland recalls Josh McRoberts from Idaho of the D-League.
OK, new rule. I’m not posting transactions dealing with this “D-League” thing. I’ve actually watched a few games on NBATV this year. There’s some local team here – I have no idea what league it is, though.
Phoenix acquires Shaquille O'Neal from Miami in exchange for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks.
I’ve been pulling for Phoenix for the last few years because I’m hoping that if the Suns win it all more teams will want to copy their style of play, which is more entertaining that the 1990s Knicks/Heat crap I was exposed to. I don’t see O’Neal as a fit, but I like him so I hope I’m wrong.
Sacramento waives Justin Williams and Dahntay Jones.
Those names sound familiar. Was Justin Williams the white guy who started shit with a reporter years ago over something stupid? Seeing how there are so few players named Williams in the NBA I’m sure this has to be the one.
Atlanta acquires Mike Bibby from Sacramento in exchange for Shelden Williams, Lorenzen Wright, Anthony Johnson, Tyronn Lue and a 2008 second round draft pick.
I liked Bibby when the Kings were a good team. That’s all I got.
Dallas signs Keith Van Horn and trades Van Horn, Devin Harris, Trenton Hassell, Maurice Ager, DeSagana Diop, first-round draft choices in 2008 and 2010, and cash considerations to New Jersey for Jason Kidd, Malik Allen and Antoine Wright; waives Nick Fazekas.
I’m curious about Kidd going to Dallas. I think they might struggle a bit in the regular season, but look at what being a number-one seed did for them last year. Then again, I remember when the Rockets got Barkley and Pippen and kept saying “wait until the PLAYOFFS.” However, I think the big acquisition is Van Horn and his shooting ability, which will be just what the Nets need to make a playoff run.
...
San Antonio acquires Kurt Thomas from Seattle in exchange for Francisco Elson, Brent Barry and a 2009 first round draft pick.
Did the white guy win the dunk contest one year?
Detroit acquires Juan Dixon and cash considerations from Toronto in exchange for Primoz Brezec...
...Houston acquires Gerald Green from Minnesota in exchange for Kirk Snyder, a second-round pick in 2010 and cash considerations.
I lumped these two together because I have no idea who these players are – I just think it’s funny that “cash considerations” were mentioned.
Denver acquires Taurean Green from Portland in exchange for Von Wafer.
Even though I have no idea who these players are, either, I couldn’t group this transaction with the one above due to inconsiderate cash.
In a three-team trade, New Orleans acquires Bonzi Wells and Mike James from Houston, Houston acquires Bobby Jackson, Adam Haluska and a 2008 second-round pick from New Orleans as well as the rights to Sergei Lishouk from Memphis and Memphis acquires Marcus Vinicius from New Orleans and the draft rights to Malick Badiane from Houston.
Doesn’t matter because I’ve given up on Houston ever getting out of the first round.
In a three-team trade, Cleveland acquires Ben Wallace, Joe Smith and a 2009 second-round pick from Cleveland plus Wally Szczerbiak and Delonte West from Seattle; Chicago acquires Drew Gooden, Larry Hughes, Shannon Brown and Cedric Simmons from Cleveland; Seattle acquires Donyell Marshall and Ira Newble from Cleveland and Adrian Griffin from Chicago.
Here we go. I have to say, when I first heard of this deal I thought it was bad for Cleveland. Don’t ask me why: You know how when you hear of a player trade and you get that initial feeling of “why did they do that?” or “wow, they got that person for THAT price?” Well, my initial feeling toward Cleveland was the former. Doesn’t mean it was a bad trade – I had the same feeling as a kid when the Pens traded for Ron Francis and Ulf Samuelsson. Then again, the only player I knew was Mario and Tom Barrasso, and the only reason I knew Barasso’s name so much is that other teams would get off a barrage of shots at him and the announcers would constantly keep repeating “save by Barrasso.”
And there you have my NBA TRADE DEADLINE ANALYSIS not-so-SPECTACULAR. I guess I should at least take a look at the standings for the first time this season.
ATLANTIC: You know, for all the shit the Knicks get, there are worse teams out there.
CENTRAL: Holy crap is this an awful division. The third-place Bulls have a .396 winning percentage. I’m sure they’re still in the playoff hunt, though.
SOUTHEAST: Orland seems to be doing well. ATLANTA is the eighth seed? Oh, wait, I missed the 76ers, with a .436 winning percentage.
NORTHWEST: Utah’s in first. Whatever. It’s funny how Denver would be the third-best team in terms of winning percentage in the East.
PACIFIC: Lakers and Phoenix are tied.
SOUTHWEST: The hell – four teams are playing .600+ ball? Lemme see the top eight teams in terms of winning percentage in the West:
New Orleans (.712)
L.A. Lakers (.685)
Phoenix (.685)
San Antonia (.679)
Utah (.648)
Dallas (.648)
Houston (.630)
Denver (.623)
Now the East:
Boston (.788)
Detroit (.722)
Orlando (607)
Toronto (.558)
Cleveland (.556)
Washington (.472)
New Jersey (.444)
Philadelphia (.436)
Now let’s see what West teams won’t make the playoffs
Golden State (.611)
Portland (.537)
Well, at least Portland wouldn’t have home-court in the first-round if they were in the East.
8:15 a.m.
• So I went into the Sports folder and read something that shook me to my very core. TOM BRADY HAD SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE?!
I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. I thought he was saving himself for Mrs. Right, or better yet, me. Oh well, maybe he could start up a club with Matt Leinart or something.
• Uh, OMG Culture of Corruption and all that shit.
It’s funny. For as much bitching as I do with Shittsburgh and the state of Pennsylvania in general, I’m for the most part content with my state legislators.
My Rep is one of two Democrats I voted for in the ’04 election. James Casorio may be a Democrat, but he’s OK. Besides, he’s extremely popular in the area so it’s not like I have much of a choice in this matter. Generally, he’s not that bad, although he pissed me off a bit by supporting some hippie spending plan for the state’s environment that is nothing more than a waste of money.
My State Senator is another matter, and I’m glad to be one of the evil Neo-Cons or whatever we were called who booted out the former State Senator of this area last election. Bob Regola, who from what I read was a fairly conservative Democrat that turned Republican to have a run at my district’s former incumbent, some liberal weenie named Alan Kukovich who was a bum-chum of Governor Ed Rendell. You want to raise taxes? Fine. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, which is what it did.
Actually, there’s a funny story to my voting experience in ’04 regarding Regola/Kukovich. When the better half and I pulled up to the voting precinct, which was some local VFW, some pro-union clown standing by a pickup truck with a John Kerry bumper sticker on it got in our way. As we were heading into the voting room he tried to give Mrs. kkk and me some literature on Kukovich, which I outright refused and said to him that we were voting Regola. Fuck that shit. I’m not going to be intimidated by some schmoe letting us know who he wants us to vote for. He replied with some grumbling and started bitching about how Regola was the worst thing since the Anti-Christ (or George W. Bush). I then said, in a raised voice just a notch or two below a full-blown shout, “Kukovich can lick my nuts.”
I made this statement right when the better half opened the VFW’s front door, and when I turned around I saw the little old ladies manning the polls with a look of fright/disgust on their faces. Oh well. Politics is an ugly game.
Anyway, yesterday Regola sent me some questionnaire about my feelings on a number of issues. Now some of these letters are just fundraising tools, but this one was legit, especially since there is no card asking me how much I would like to give to the GOP. I thought I’d share the questions with you and my responses just to show how RIGHT-WING I really am. I just gave my response below; even if you graduated from a government school you should be able to figure out most, if not all, of the issues I was asked.
1) Keep the minimum wage at the federal rate. (Get another job if you don’t make enough money)
2) I don’t care if PA allows hunting on Sundays.
3) Spending caps are important to make sure that government lives within its means. This one was a bit tricky for me because I can understand having to borrow (look at our president -- ugh) but the other answer I couldn’t in good conscience approve because “Rely on the Governor and Legislature to establish budgets that meet the needs of the Commonwealth” was just too much, even for me.
4) I support photo ID requirements to vote, although really any form of ID would be fine by me. Of course, this is considered RACIST.
5) I have no opinion on casino gambling. (Building casinos won’t really help the region, and it will probably hurt it, but if idiots want to throw their money away, that’s up to them.)
6) Smoking bans are already too stringent.
7) Residents who order out-of-state wine shouldn’t have to deal with the PA Liquor Control Board. Basically, the only booze you can get in PA is through these state-run stores, and they’re a freaking joke to begin with.
8) I have no opinion on how PA is coping with terrorism. If they want to blow up Shittsburgh, let them.
9) Maintain existing growth and develop laws when it comes to open space preservation programs. (There was no entry for “cut funding” so I had to go with the status quo.)
10) Building a high-speed rail connection is a nice idea, but it will take about 100 years to create and make Boston’s “Big Dig” look like an impulse buy on a pack of gum while waiting in line at the grocery store.
So there you have it. Now if you will excuse me, I have some abortion clinics to bomb.
4 p.m.
• Now who didn't see THIS coming?
I guess it's a good thing for McCain's said he got the nomination locked up so early. If the GOP race had been several months longer, the Slimes would probably have waitied until closer to Election Day to publish this. Did he or didn't he? I don't know, and I don't care.
• Interesting. Well, not really, but it did give me something to type about below.
At my former place of employment, they had a system that accepted the ' -- however, if a name ended in, say, "LaMonde," it would appear as "La Monde" with the extra space. However, there were names in which the "M" would be lower-cased instead, and there were other instances in which it would look like "Lamonde." Oh it made editing names a real joy.
8 p.m.
• I almost forgot. On the drive home from work today through pseudo-hippieville, I came across a bumper sticker that got a laugh out of me. "Frodo failed -- Bush got the Ring!"
7:30 p.m.
• In response to the comments going on from yesterday’s entry, here’s some advice to SFAJack: Just accept it the blue towels. The sooner you do, the better off you'll be. Don’t try to figure out the female species. It ain’t worth it. Believe me, I know what you’re going through. My life is filled with similar eye-rolling moments. The trick is to be selective in what you want to piss her off with. Take this afternoon while we were driving to the grocery store. Remember that March 10 wedding we’re going to? Here’s what she said during our drive.
Her: “It’s only one more week before we’re going to Ohio.”
Me: “What are you talking about.“
Her: “Only one more Saturday to go.”
Me: “Huh?”
Her: “What.”
Me: “We got more than two weeks to before the wedding.”
Her: “No we don’t.”
Me: “You’re insane.”
Her: “Well, this week’s almost over…”
Me: “IT’S TUESDAY!”
Her: “Yes, and just one more week.”
Me: “But that wedding is on the SATURDAY of the following week after your ‘one more week.’”
Her: “Nevermind. You don’t understand.”
Me: “You’re right. I don’t understand. There are EIGHTEEN DAYS BEFORE MARCH 10. How do you get one week from that?”
Her: “I hate you. I really hate you.”
Me: “Shut up ho.”
3 p.m.
• Wow. There's a 5-4 ruling on the Supreme Court, but check out who sided where.
7:30 a.m.
• Damn you George W. Bush. If these gas prices weren't so damn high, then maybe these people could afford their crack, thus not having to drive off, resulting in cutting the poor dealer in half. A dealer who was just trying to make ends meet in this economy. I wonder if you can sue a tax cut?
4:45 p.m.
• So I’m typing this during a conference call. I could get used to this, although I’m sure there’s stuff I should be writing down right now that I will forget five minutes from now.
You know, for as crazy as my job is now, it’s nowhere NEAR the same level as craziness as my former place of employment was. From my contact at my former place of employment, he said the powers-that-be still haven’t found a replacement for me. This is hilarious – when I announced my resignation on January 4…
Oh, here’s something on the conference call I need to write down. One second.
…I said that if they placed an ad that next week, they could probably find someone in a week or two and I could help the n00b out ASAP. That was January 4. So far I haven’t heard anything about a new hire. And people wonder why I left? Well, they probably don’t, but it’s rhetorical.
In yesterday’s blog entry, Swift Terror mentioned his experience as a Blockbuster Customer Service Representative and commented on the chain’s hard-on with late fees (I heard they have shifted their “two-days-and-it’s-late policy, but I’m not sure on this). Personally, I had no problem with a store’s late fee policy as long as I was told when the movies were due back. Look, if you think it’s lame to rent a video with an inconvenient return date, then don’t rent from that place. So you put the DVD in the drop-off bin at five after midnight when it was due at exactly midnight – too bad. Pay the fine and learn from it.
The only time I was ever late on a Blockbuster rental was when I lived in Ohio a few years ago. We were given a Sunday noontime deadline, and the better half and I finished watching the movies we rented late on a Saturday night. I said that since I was still relatively awake that I would make the 10-minute drive to Blockbuster and drop off the rentals. Mrs. kkk said not to bother with them, that she’d drop them off after she got back from church Sunday morning. With that said, she went off to bed and I went off to doing God knows what.
The next morning I woke up at around 10 a.m. and went downstairs for breakfast. The better half had left for church, and with my car in the shop I was stranded in our townhouse. Then my eyes picked up the four DVDs from Blockbuster still on our living room entertainment stand. Yep. I figured as much. And of course she didn’t get back home until 11:55 a.m. When I reminded her of what she said the night before, she replied, “Well you take them back and I’ll pay you back the fine,” which I did (and oddly enough, I’m still waiting for this reimbursement, among the other IOU’s she has put on her tab). Despite being 10 minutes late on the rental I still had to pay more than $10 in late fees.
There are two good things that came out of this experience. The first one was that I learned it was a better investment to just own any movie I was interested in seeing. If you get a film when it first comes out, it’s not a bad deal (although if you wait a while longer you can usually get it at a better price). If you watch the movie 2-3 times over the course of owning the title (including viewing the special features), then I’d say you came out ahead in the end. If you absolutely hate the movie after viewing it, just sell it at a used CD/Movie store for a few dollars. Either way, it’s a better value than just renting it and feeling rushed to turn it back.
The second good thing that came out of this experience was that I had one of the greatest conversations ever with a CSR. I entered the store at about 12:10 p.m. and told this teen-age puke that I knew I was late with the movies. I guess the kid thought I was trying to weasel out of paying the fines, which I wasn’t, although I did mention why they were late. (I don’t know why I did this; I usually don’t engage in small talk with cashiers, but I guess I needed to vent or something.) The cashier was just zoning out saying “yeah, uh-huh,” and typing away on the keyboard in front of him (which is what I would do in that situation, too, so I didn’t hold this against the kid). Figuring I might as well see if he’s actually paying attention, I then said, “And somebody’s going to get a beating when I get back home.” He looked up at me and said, “Dude, you don’t have to beat her; just have her pay for the next movie rental.” I said, “Why, when hitting her is so much more fun?” I got no response back, but I did see him looking at me as I drove off.
Oh, and I’m suddenly reminded of another “incident” that took place in Ohio just to show that the better half isn’t a pure as the wind-driven snow. (There are many stories, including the time I told a bagboy to get cancer, but for some reason this one just came to my mind.) We were leaving a restaurant called O’Charley’s, which is kinda like an Applebee’s or a Friday’s, but a few notches above them, in my opinion (It’s a shame they’re not in the Shittsburgh area). Well, we were walking out to the car and I was carrying the better half’s doggy bag. I was being an idiot and either not giving her the car keys or the Styrofoam container; I can’t remember which. But I do remember what happened next.
As we were on opposite ends of our car, a van with a couple and their young daughter had just pulled into the spot next to where the better half was standing. Right when the van door opened and the little kid was getting helped out of her car seat, the better half shouted, “Give me that now, asshole!” Like a parrot, the girl behind her said, “Yeah, asshole!” My jaw dropped, although the better half didn’t hear her say it. The kid’s parents did though. In Mrs. kkk’s defense I don’t think she knew there were people behind her, but so what? It was still funny as hell.
Hey shit-for-brains, you think any of my people will be falling for this obvious bear trap? Fuck no. The moment there's any kind of racial issue that's addressed and not met with the approval of you and your liberal comrades will pull the OMG RACISM~! card. I was born at night but it wasn't last night. If I was I'd be some kind of prodigy for typing this up instead of sucking on some titties.
9:30 p.m.
• So here’s the latest from the crack-whore niece-in-law.
She knows this guy who lives about 4-5 hours away. Nineteen years old. No job. Doesn’t go to college. He paid a long-distance booty call. How did he get to my neck of the woods? HIS OLD MAN DROVE HIM.
Anyway, the crack-whore niece-in-law took her two-month old kid with her to the hotel room for a night of passion. Where did the kid sleep while her mother got her freak on? The gentleman caller brought a crib. It must have been in storage or something because apparently it was moldy, and now the kid’s sick because of it.
Remember, whenever you hear a politician/activist claim that we don’t do enough for the poor, keep in mind that not everyone who takes public assistance is a hard-working provider for a family of four that recently lost his job due to the factory moving to Mexico.
There are only a few more days until Super Bowl XL, and like every other Super Bowl since 1990 I haven't tuned in to the usual media hype. Sorry, but half-a-month's worth of coverage leading up to one game is just too much for anyone to endure. I understand it's the "Big Game" and all, but come on already. I personally like the one-week wait from the Conference Championship games to the Super Bowl whenever it's been done, but oh well. Life goes on.
As a southwestern Pennsylvania resident, I am more privy to the latest inside info regarding this year's AFC champ. Below are some Steeler-related newsbytes.
• Today marks an annual event in southwestern Pa.; Groundhog Day. This "holiday" takes place in a small town named Punxatony that bases a large chunk of its tourism revenue around a rodent, who if he sees his shadow means we all have to deal with six more weeks of winter.
Well this year when the townspeople gathered around this groundhog, who is named Punxatony Phil, they made sure to wrap him up in a Terrible Towel. Now for those that don't know, the Terrible Towel is one of those golden obnoxious rags that Steeler fans wave around during a game. This device was conceived back in 1975 by a local sportscaster, and if you defaced one of these things at Heinz Stadium you would be lucky to walk away without any broken limbs.
As Phil made this year's prediction (he saw his shadow by the way), he tinkled in the Terrible Towel wrapped around him; he must be a Seahawks fan, which is odd considering if seahawks actually existed, Phil would probably be viewed more as dinner than a four-legged meteorologist by the bird.
Of course, Phil could have also been wondering what in the hell these crazy people were doing to him.
• Some of the idiotic callers this week on my local sports radio stations have been goofing on the Seattle area. While it only took about a day for the "all that's up there is rain and coffee" jokes to get old, there was one diss that made me laugh. Several callers have made fun of the Seahawk franchise for their less-than-stellar history in regards to winning. In fact, this is the first time ever in the team's 30-year history that it has reached the Super Bowl. Of course, what these callers seem to forget is that before the 1970s the Steelers never won a damn thing. In fact, from 1933-1971 the Steelers finished the regular season with a .500 record only 12 times and made the postseason game once, which they lost. Seattle, on the other hand, from 1976-2004, finished with a .500 record 16 times and made the postseason seven times.
• I have heard for years that the Steelers travel well, meaning whenever the team goes on the road to play a game there is usually a decent amount of fans cheering them at the other team's stadium. This isn't hard for me to believe. Is it because the Steelers fostered a devout following during their 1970s run where they won four Super Bowls in six year? Maybe. However, I think a more accurate reason is because the southwest Pennsylvania region has had its population leave the area en masse over the years, and these transplanted Pittsburghers have set up residence elsewhere throughout the country.
Whether or not my theory is correct, I have noted that during the weeks leading up to postseason games at Cincinnati, Indianapolis and now Detroit, there have been businesses in all of these regions advertising their restaurants/bars/hotels. I didn't hear a Denver-based business advertise before the Conference Championship game, but that doesn't mean it happened. I'm sure this happens in other cities, but the only other NFL city I have ever lived near to was Cincinnati, and that was before the Marvin Lewis era.
• Whenever the Steelers make the playoffs, the local newspapers always go to town regarding team coverage. This makes sense after all since people will purchase $1.50 Sunday edition just for the pin-up poster found in the special Sports section. Well, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette has also encouraged Steeler fans to submit photos to show their support for the home team, and some of these pictures are, well, you decide. Here are my "top" choices.
Here,
here,
here,
and here
• Now you may be thinking that Shittsburgh is going crazy because the Steelers are headed to the Super Bowl for the first time in a decade. Wrong. Steeler fans are always nuts, even when the team has a losing record. Last summer, long before this NFL season's opening kickoff, a fan passed away and was laid out for viewing sitting on a recliner, dressed in black-and-gold pajamas and facing a television playing Steeler highlights. The TV remote was, of course, in his hand, and beer and cigarettes were nearby.
Then again, if one is to pass away, this isn't a bad way to go out.
